Heard In The Halls

Myth and Peanut Butter

2011-04-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

During a discussion about epic and myth, a student came up with a modern version of the American folk hero, Paul Bunyan: "Chuck Norris gargles peanut butter."

Cool Girls

2011-03-30T22:50:00.000-07:00

The following quote was seen on a t-shirt being worn by a 10th grade student in my class: "All the cool girls are lesbians." I would not have seen anything like this being worn when I was in high school. I imagine the suicide rates have gone down for teenagers because of the increase in acceptance that current high school students have, as opposed to twenty years ago. Also, I'm sure there is a long way to go on the acceptance front too.

I Don't Give A Schist

2011-03-10T09:15:00.000-08:00

Today one student said to another, "It's okay to say schist. It's like a metamorphic rock or something." I must give them points for creativity.

Easy Listening

2011-02-28T18:07:00.000-08:00

Today during English class one boy said to another, "I love 40s music. Don't you just love 40s music? No, I only listen to smooth jazz." True story.

Favorite Food

2011-02-16T08:20:00.000-08:00

Some students were discussing their favorite foods before class. One said their favorite was fried chicken. Another replied, "Have you ever had chicken intestines? They're friggin awesome!" Another reason I am a vegetarian.

Walk Like An Egyptian

2011-02-16T08:17:00.000-08:00

I asked my student who is of Egyptian descent what he thought about what was happening in Egypt right now. He quickly replied, "I think it's a ploy by the Muslim Brotherhood to try to take over. It's gonna be very, very bad." I hope his insights are not correct.

One Love

2011-02-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

I heard one student say to another, in a serious tone, "If Chuck Norris and Bob Marley got in a fight, Bob Marley would hot box him to death." I had no comment.

Burning Down the House

2011-01-20T15:59:00.000-08:00

One student smelled something cooking at school. She yelled out, "Fool, it stinks like when my house was burning!"

B-I-N-G-

2011-01-20T15:56:00.000-08:00

In Algebra I we were playing a game similar to B-I-N-G-O where the students had to figure out simple math problems to collect the numbers to fill in their game card. One student proudly shouted out B-I-N-G-O! I went to check the card and saw only four numbers going one way. He said, "Yeah, we can have a new game called B-I-N-G!, like B-I-N-G-O without the O!"

Lifeblood

2011-01-20T15:52:00.000-08:00

Another teacher and myself were using ink stamps in an activity we were teaching in Algebra I. Each student had their own little stamp. We had the usual activities of students stamping their hands and even a few stamped their own faces with ink. I then heard a student say, "My stamp ran out of lifeblood." Another student responded with, "Yeah, my stamp ran out of vodka too."

G'day Mozart

2011-01-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I was explaining to some students that teachers sometimes apply for seminars and I was looking at one studying Mozart in Vienna, Austria. One interested student said, "Oh, have you already been to Australia before?" I could not hold back the laughter as I informed her that Austria is in Europe and Australia is not.

Hillbilly Dress Code

2011-01-20T15:44:00.000-08:00

The other day in Algebra I, I instructed a student to pull his pants up so I didn't have to see his boxers. A girl across the room shouted out to help him during his time of need. She yelled, "Teacher, you're just jealous because we don't dress like hillbillies or like we're from the 70's!"

Unnecessary Grass

2011-01-20T15:40:00.000-08:00

Today a student seemed to be struggling to come up with something to complain about. She settled on, "Why is there grass everywhere? It's so unnecessary!"

I Smell Like Strawberries

2011-01-03T16:46:00.000-08:00

Today at school a student said, "One time my friend threw a Slurpee at me." I said, "Wow, that sounds like a great friend (friend in air quotes)." She replied, "It was ok though, because it was super hot in the summer and I smelled like strawberries for the rest of the day." Let's face it. Who doesn't like to smell like strawberries?

I Just Love The Violence

2010-12-13T16:48:00.000-08:00

In English today a student felt compelled to tell me; "I like older cartoons. They are more violent with hammers and bigger guns." I shudder to think.

Southern Drawl

2010-12-13T16:43:00.000-08:00

I commended a student today for getting out a sheet of paper to write notes on. She said, "It's not for notes, it's for drawling." I reminded her that there is no 'l' in 'drawling'. She said, "Yes it does, this is my jaw line (pointing to her own face), this paper is for drawling!" I said, "ok."

Smart

2010-12-08T21:38:00.000-08:00

One student who is fairly intelligent but does almost no work posed this question to another student who puts a lot of effort toward his schoolwork: "Does it feel good to be smart?" To which he replied, "It's kind of like you feel, but with more papers and organization." I was crying laughing while trying to hide my face.

Do The Shuffle

2010-12-08T21:34:00.000-08:00

One of my English students today saw another student dancing and said, "My mom can shuffle better than him!" Another student was impressed and replied with, "Your mom can shuffle?" To which the first student replied, "Yeah, in four inch heels. She may have been a little drunk though."

Smells Like Victory

2010-12-07T18:01:00.000-08:00

In Algebra I today a student was cleaning out his folder. It seemed to me that it had been a very long time since he had last done that. I said under my voice, "How long has it been since you last cleaned that out, four years?" He quickly replied, "Yeah, like the olympics."

The 70's

2010-12-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

One student asked me today, "Teacher, did you ever smoke weed?" I looked at him without saying anything. He continued, "Like in the 70's when everyone did it?" I said, "Yeah, I must have been born doing it, since I was born in 1974!"

Ashen Skin

2010-12-06T16:54:00.001-08:00

One particularly childish student was yelling at her friend today in Algebra I. She yelled across the room, "Shut up you ashen cookie." To which the other student replied, "Did you just call me Ashton Kutcher?" They say one hears what one wants to hear.

Note To Self

2010-12-06T16:47:00.000-08:00

It's probably not a good idea to wear an all purple outfit in high school. One of my students did that today. Her 'friends' called her "Barney, the purple dinosaur," and "Grape," respectively.

Alien Spacecraft

2010-12-01T21:35:00.000-08:00

I heard a Hispanic student tell this story about her little brother and her mom. The boy saw another boy wearing a sombrero and said, "Look mom, he looks like an alien with a spacecraft!" His mother laughingly said, "Yeah, sure, an illegal alien spacecraft!"

Dry

2010-11-19T18:07:00.000-08:00

Today in English a student asked me, "Do you have an eraser?" I handed him one. He then asked, "May I use the restroom?" I said, "Sure, can I get you anything else?" Without hesitation he said, "Yeah, Martini. Dry."

Gas

2010-11-18T18:39:00.000-08:00

One student let out a loud burp in Algebra I today. I said to her, "Please don't do that in class." A neighbor at her table said, "Better from the attic than from the basement!" A simple point I had to concede.