I finally wrapped up the first chapter of something new the other night. I let a few people read it and the overall feedback was good, but the more I looked at it, the less happy I was.

So…I’m starting it over.

Which is odd, because I’m a big fan of at least getting a full draft done before I start mucking with everything (otherwise it’s way too easy to fall into the habit of the constant edit/rewrite. I don’t want to go there.) But I do think a story has a better chance at successfully being told if the “voice” is consistent with the muse.

Part of my issue may be because I’ve spent three years in Abby’s head. It’s hard for me not to look at a new story and not see her in there.

As much as I love writing her, this isn’t her story or her world or anything else, really. (And doubly hard, because I’m still quite heavily invested in Abby’s story – waiting for revisions for A Trace of Moonlight means that potential changes are percolating in the back of my mind all the time.)

But for the new story, the protagonist is younger and less educated, for one thing, so poetic observations about the world she’s in aside…it’s just not quite right. (And I don’t know if this is actually going to be a YA. I have debated it, but to be honest, it may not be in me to write one. Which is fine. I’m just going to write it as it comes and if I need to tweak it later, I will.) But the language she’s using is a bit more sleek than it should be, given her circumstances.

So…it’s back to the drawing board.  And it’s not a complete wash – I can use some of what I’ve got written, certainly, but I’ve got to peel away some of the “comfort zone” to find the essence of what I’m really trying to capture and see it through different eyes. (It’s a much more gritty story, I think.)

Sounds romantic, though it’s more frustrating than anything else.

On an unrelated note, a few promo things to mention:

1) RhiReading is hosting part of a blog hop for Book Boyfriends – go check it out to discuss a certain sexy incubus and comment for a chance to win a copy of A Brush of Darkness.

2) Pocket After Dark is releasing  A Brush of Darkness for free for the entire month of February. There’s also a sneak peek at A Sliver of Shadow (1st chapter now, 2nd chapter about mid-way through the month).

3) A Sliver of Shadow got a 4 star review from Romantic Times!  :D

–>

4) I’ll be offline for Friday, because I’m going to the David Garrett concert with a huge group of friends and spending most of the day in DC. So, just a heads up. I’ll probably be a fangirling mess on Twitter. *ahem*

Since there’s only about a month until the release date for A Sliver of Shadow, I figured I’d throw a little teaser out there for you in the form of a first chapter excerpt. Hope you enjoy!

I’ve been trying to catch up on my reading while I await my own edits.

I’d say reading for fun is one of the things I miss most about being a writer – partially because of time constraints, but also because I have a hard time shutting down the “editor” side of my brain.

It seems to take a lot more for me these days to lose myself in the voice of a book (although I still have a list of “must buy” authors that I can fall into without issue. Could be the mental mountain disappears simply because I choose NOT to look at their writing with such a critical eye – because I trust them to deliver.)

It used to be I’d finish every book I started – good or bad. Now, if a story doesn’t grip me quick enough, I let it slide away.  I can’t tell if it’s a sense of overall jadedness or simply that I’m too exhausted most of the time to be interested.

I’m less forgiving, overall and that makes me a bit sad.

(Not that it stops me from buying books. The TBR list on my Kindle grows every week…but I despair of ever getting to most of them.)

As a writer, I don’t think it’s particularly healthy to not be reading, but it shouldn’t be a chore either. But I’m going to try to slip in at least a book a week from here on out.

That being said, I’m open to suggestions – anyone got a current fave they’re loving right now? (I’m looking for more Fantasy/Sci-Fi type of things than anything else…)

Blatantly pirating this gif off of tumblr (idea as per Jeffe) as my nod to SOPA. (Courtesy of The Oatmeal)

And I’m keeping my own Tumblr dark today as well.  I realize it’s a rather small act in the scheme of things. Preaching to the choir and all that, but as addicted as I am to all things internet? Staying off Tumblr today has been really, really hard.

It’s a goofy, chaotic place – but it makes me laugh and allows me to connect with a different set of people and I enjoy it. I’d actually be very sad if it (and other sites like it) fell to the likes of a bullshit bill written by people who have all the technological understanding of a dead monkey.

*ahem*

That in mind, I received a lovely bit of Brystion/Abby art yesterday, by the massively talented Emma Vieceli. It’s a little smutty, so I’m leaving it at a smaller size. Click for a larger view. (And yes, Ion’s got a little coverage there. The mystery of his demon deer peen shall remain a secret. For now.)

So I’m gearing up for blog tour shenanigans in the next month or so, but to streamline the process, I’m outsourcing most of this to Betwitching Blog Tours.  (Click the linky if you wish to sign up!)

I’ve got some blog posts and interviews in the pipeline for earlier in the month of Feb, and if you’re interested in anything else, just drop me a line via my Contact page.

eARCS will be available for book bloggers and reviewers who sign up for the tour- I just ask that you send me a link to the review when it goes up (even if you don’t like it.)

As far as the tour itself goes – I do have swag available for giveaways, including my trading cards.  Signed copies of A Sliver of Shadow will also be available.

Also, I’ve had some requests for blog posts/interviews by @phintheunicorn. If that’s something you want, let me know and I’ll see if he’s available. (He can be bribed with bacon.)

There’s that saying out there that indicates you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket. And it sorta goes hand in hand with the whole “don’t count your chickens until they hatch.” Publishing is often a waiting game, and there’s nothing quite so lousy as announcing some wonderful news…only to find out a few days/weeks/months later that you jumped the gun and said item won’t happen.

Even aside from having to deal with disappointment, now you have to retract and that’s a frustrating feeling.  (And potentially confusing to readers.)

But the egg and basket motif makes a fair amount of sense, particularly for writers and particularly in these changing times. After all, there are so many options out there right now – trad pubbing, indie-pubbing, self-pubbing, paper books, ebooks, etc.

Diversify the portfolio and all that. And really, this is where having an agent comes in handy – or at least knowledge of what you’re signing away when you do make a deal with a publisher. Namely, the right of first refusal clause – it’s not uncommon for a standard boilerplate to indicate that after an author fulfills the contract, his/her next work goes to that same publisher first for them to look at.

In my case I wrote three adult UF books for my publisher. My contract declares that my next work of adult UF must be submitted to them first (and they can decide to pub or pass. If they pass, I can submit it anywhere else.)

Which is nice in some ways, because I know my next work of adult UF will be looked at by at least one publishing house, but the problem is that publishers can take a long time to make a decision…and if you’re not happy with your current publisher, that sort of clause can trap you – particularly if the clause is broad – i.e. your next work of fantasy, for example. That could mean anything – YA fantasy, high fantasy, UF fantasy, etc – so you want to be very, very careful with that.

(If you’re a prolific writer, doubly so – publishers don’t usually release multiple books by the same author at the same time – if you’ve got a lot to potentially sell, you want to be able to get it out there as fast as you can, while keeping as many roads open as you can.)

Personally, I’m all for it if my publisher wants another Abby book. (or Melanie book – it’s quite possible I’ll change gears into a different character if I get the go ahead.)

But at the moment, I’m in a weird bit of limbo. Turning in the last book of my contract doesn’t mean the complete end – I’ll have revisions and copyedits and all that other fun stuff but it also puts me in a place where I can begin to pursue other avenues.

It’s a bit scary – but it’s  also freeing. Writing under contract is much different than writing for fun. I could self-pub, or write a YA dystopian or a retelling of the Little Mermaid with pansexual robots (I hint at this robot mermaid thing a lot. Probably means it’s going to happen. Someday.) – but the point is that I’ve got that creative flexibility built in.. And as much as I love writing Abby and the gang, I also want to work on something new. (And I’ve been writing her story since 2008 at this point, so I think I’ve earned it.)

So I think I’ll see if I can’t dig up some more baskets…and see what hatches.

Unrelated: A Sliver of Shadow trading cards are now available!

Such as they are.

I don’t usually do New Year Resolution posts. Like Jeffe, I tend to feel the promises we make in private to ourselves are a much more telling sign of our ability to accomplish something. Not that we all don’t want praise and kudos for reaching our goals – there’s a big reason programs like Weight Watchers works for so many people, for example.

But praise is a hollow motivator sometimes. I know for myself there’s a big difference when someone congratulates me on something I don’t feel like I’ve earned. It feels good for about 30 seconds, but after that? It’s all empty. Because inside, I know it’s not real.

(But hey I finished the draft for A Trace of Moonlight, whee! Subbing to editor some point this week, so yay for me to get that done. Starting the new year without it hanging over my head is a lovely, lovely thing.)

Sometimes we need a kick in the pants. Sometimes it’s about finding time to reach those goals – I need to get certified for work for example – and it’s one of those things where I need to study to take a test. I already know that the only way I’m going to make time to study is if I schedule the test. Otherwise it’s too easy to constantly push aside for more “important” things.

Back when I started getting a bit more serious about writing, I began leaving my word-counts up in the side bar. Not so much as an attention getting thing (ooh, look how much I’m writing and and I am an author and blah blah blah), but more as a personal accountability record. And sure, I could keep that in a spreadsheet or something, but for me it was a very nice feeling to watch that word count go up and it inspired me to continue writing, even on nights when I really felt too tired to do it. I guess I’m a visual creature in that respect…and in some ways, all these little blogs and websites are second homes for me. I spend so much time here, it makes sense to give myself tiny reminders of what my goals are. (Like sticky notes, I guess.)

It’s hard as a writer, though. Because it’s so solitary, most people don’t always understand how easy it is to get discouraged. So it *is* nice to announce to the world that you reached a milestone, even a personal one – particularly in an online group like Twitter, for example. We get it.

On the other hand, it’s not good to get dependent on those kudos either. Your primary motivation needs to come from within you – not based on the potential praise you may receive – otherwise it loses its value. (And probably starts becoming a bit of an obnoxious ego monster.)

Like everything else, it becomes a balancing act between wanting what you need and needing what you have. How you strike that balance is up to you.

…so to speak. Obviously I haven’t been blogging for a few days. It’s the fun of the family and holiday thing, I guess. That and continuing to work on my quick and dirty revisions for A Trace of Moonlight before I hand the draft into the editor next week.

Incidentally, A Trace of Moonlight is the official title now. (It’s what the end of SoS lists as the snippet for the next book, so I’ll run with that assumption, anyway.)

(And like everything else I write, my standard MO applies. I come and go in waves both as I write and edit, wavering between, “wow, this is actually pretty good” to “Jesus, this is the worst piece of crap to ever come off the keyboard.” However, I’m about halfway through here, and so far I’m actually feeling okay about it. Doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement – there’s always things that can be made better, but I’m not feeling too hateful about the story overall.)

So there’s that.

Once I turn everything in, I’ll have a few weeks to breathe before my editor kicks it back and I’ll be shifting gears to work on the graphic novel (currently titled Fox & Willow) and the companion website development. Also, I’ll finally get to turn my attention to the epic fantasy thing, which I’ve tentatively titled Ironheart. I’m rather excited about it – it’s been one of those carrots I keep dangling in front of my face.(Haven’t really attempted to start it because I was afraid it would consume the rest of my attention – and paying work comes first, so…yeah.)  There’s so much world building stuff I need to get cracking on for it, but it’s all good.

Otherwise, I’ve got an order in for the next set of trading cards now, so those should be available shortly – I’ll post that here once I’ve got them. And speaking of trading cards – the winner of the Hedgehog Haiku contest for the Mistletoe Madness blog hop is: Sonia! (I’ll be sending her an email shortly to confirm, but I want to thank everyone for entering – I really enjoyed seeing the fab poems you all came up with.)

Last thing – I’m giving away a copy of A Brush of Darkness over a Bitch Can Write a Book today – so stop on by and leave a comment!

So to speak.

But yes, I finished the rough draft of A Trace of Moonlight at about 2 AM this morning. Odd really, because I’ve been fighting the story so much the last few weeks and last night it was like my head just snapped because it was TIME. Sat down and cranked out 3000k in about 2 hours, which is ridiculous for me.

Is it the best prose I’ve ever written?

Nope.

There is quite a bit of revising to do, and not much time to do it in, but I suppose that’s always par for the course with me.

I am going to give myself a day off, though. Too much to get done with Christmas coming anyway, and by the gods I am going to fire up some sort of game and play guilt free tonight if it kills me.

In some ways, getting the words on the page is the easy part. Not that writing is ever really *easy,* but I let myself go a bit when I’m writing down the bones. Some pages are just dialogue, for example, with some basic notes as to what I’ll need to emphasize when I come back. Sometimes I change my mind part way through a scene or a major plot point, but since I already know I may change my mind again, I leave a note and just keep on writing, as though I’ve already gone back to change it. (Ah, the glories of being a panster.) Usually by the time I come around to fixing it, I’ve already refined what it was I wanted to say in the first place, so things fall into place better.

I suppose it’s a bit like sculpting. The draft is the metal rods, the words to which I’ll craft the finer edges of plot. I’ll shave some off in places and add more in others, but without a strong foundation to start with, the rest of it is meaningless. (And likely to collapse upon poking. Plot holes. Logic holes. You  might be able to get away with a small one here or there depending on your writing skill, but too many little holes start looking an awful lot like a great big one, the further away you move from it.)

Still. It’s nice to have this part off my back. It’s also nice to realize that I managed to write it in about five months. (See? See? I *could* be a a two book a year author if I wanted! Maybe. On the other hand? I also like having hair.)

But the bones are down.

Now the real work begins.

Right after I kill these Darkspawn.

So I got a final ecopy of A Sliver of Shadow today. It’s not for public consumption, mind – I can’t go sending it off to people. But it’s useful to have.  For one thing, I can fact check against it as I finish up the last of A Trace of Moonlight. (And by finish, I mean…eh, one chapter to go and then revise like the wind? But still – it’s good to have something definitive I can look back on to make sure certain things were included…or not.)

Plus, I put quotes on the back of my trading cards, and I need to find some good ones for the latest set so I can get them all printed up.

It’s interesting, though. I don’t usually go back and reread my books. I don’t know if that’s just a mental “I’m done with this story now” or some sort of mild embarrassment that I produced it.

It’s  like giving birth and being happy it’s out…and then someone hands you this stinky, drooly thing that’s sorta cute and sorta horrifying and you’re vaguely happy it’s all over, but there’s a part of you that wants to just shove it back whence it came and go to Denny’s for a Moons Over My Hammy because it’s 3 AM and you’ve just had an 18 hour bender of pain, chased by a cocktail of Pitocin.

(Why no, I haven’t had too many cookies today. Why do you ask?)

Anyway, once I get past all that, the book passes the basic test for me – which is that once I start reading, I actually forget that I wrote it. (At least on some level. That’s how I know it works.)

But just randomly flipping through it is sometimes hard. For one thing? There’s no going back. It’s difficult to read a passage or a phrase and think “Shit, I could have done better than that. I suck and should probably drink more.” On the other hand, it’s really nice to be pleasantly surprised on the other end of the scale. “Holy shit. *I* wrote this. I’m awesome.”

On a related note, it’s also somewhat iffy when you read something that you FORGOT you wrote. Particularly when you’ve been referencing about said thing in the next book that didn’t happen the way you indicate and then it’s all herrrr durrr herpderp and downhill from there.  (Yeah, maybe I need to start keeping one of those writer’s bibles or something.)

And speaking of third books? Yeah, I know I said I would wrap it all up nice and neat..and it sorta will be. But it sorta won’t. I think there’s a 4th Abby story in here yet, so stay tuned…