Heart Speak

The Way To Wait

2010-02-08T03:43:00.000-08:00

Perhaps you are going through one of the following circumstances:

Your best friend or family member is in ICU. The doctor says that we'll have to "wait and see" how it goes.

The lump looks suspicious, it requires a biopsy...

You've had the second interview, and you think this job would be the perfect fit for you. The benefits are excellent and the pay is great. Besides you are very unhappy in the position you're in now. "We'll call you".

You've met all the requirements, provided all the documentation for the loan, now you have to wait to hear from the underwriter. You want the house, the car, the apartment. Will you be approved?

When life places us in a "holding pattern", and it will, anxiety and stress can reach an all time high. Some people literally make themselves sick while waiting. Becoming nauseated, sufferring from headaches, etc. There are those who make everyone around them miserable as they become irritable and anxious while waiting. Others become paralyzed with fear and do nothing, perhaps taking to their beds in a state of depression. How do you wait?

I've experienced all of the above scenarios and then some. Admittedly there were times that I failed the "waiting test". What I have come to realize with experience however is, there is a better "way to wait". A way that allows us to have perfect peace while waiting.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6. It is imperative to trust your higher power while waiting knowing "... that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. If we trust that God wants the best for us, we can "release" our "grip" and rest in the assurance that all is well and just as it is supposed to be.

Staying present is also important while waiting. If we are anxious about the future, or an outcome, we often loose the present moment which is all any of us has. Life is a series of moments and the only reality is in the present moment. By staying "present" we LIVE, respond and engage in what is happening now. If we are fully in the moment, there is no room for preocuppation with what might or might not be. There are many books that are written about staying in the present and meditating that are helpful with the "practice" of staying present. One of the books I found most impactful for me was, "The Power of Now", by Eckhart Tolle. (Available on my website http://www.thevocalheart.com/) .This book was not only comforting in the early stages of my grieving the loss of my husband, but it also reminded me to stay tuned to the moments of life and appreciate NOW.

When I reflect on my "holding patterns" in life, I bring the references forward to whatever it is that I might find myself waiting for now. When I do this, I am always reminded, that everything unfolded just as it should have. Even the times when the outcome was not what I wanted or even thought I could handle. In restrospect I would have to admit, they always turned out for my good. Some of the most difficult circumstances of my life have turned out to be the biggest growth and learning opportunities, and when I connected the dots, the challenges have always lead to a blessing. As Maya Angelou would say, "I would'nt take nothing for my journey".

So here are some suggestions for how to wait:

PRAY: Pray to your higher power and tell him specifically what outcome you would like, but remember to pray for His will and for the strength and courage to ACCEPT His will.

REFLECT: Look back over previous life circumstances and how you survived them and even grew through them. Remind yourself that no matter the outcome, everything will be o.k.

STAY PRESENT: Practice staying in the present. Engage in the moment. If you find yourself worrying about the outcome, bring yourself back to the present by touching, smelling, tasting or looking at nature. Notice the beauty and intricacy of a flower, a tree, the snowflakes. Describe the frangrance of the air or the aroma of something that is cooking. If someone is speaking, pay special attention to what they are saying, listen intently.

JOURNAL: Write what you are feeling in a journal while you are waiting. The emotions, the fears, worries, hopes, etc. Get it out of your mind and heart, release it and commit to leaving it there.

BE BUSY: Get busy doing something productive, perhaps organize a closet, a drawer or something else you've been meaning to get to. You will feel better once its completed and this can be a symbolic way of organizing your thoughts while organizing your environment. The time it takes to focus on a productive task takes away the time focusing on an outcome that is outside of our control.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: While waiting, remember to eat healthy, take vitamins and excercise. Excercise releases endorphins that allow an immediate emotional "lift". Stress can cause very real physical illness. Fill your mind with inspirational readings, perhaps from the bible or other inspirational books or dvd's. And remember to AVOID negative people who express doom and gloom. This is not the time to have a pity party. Surround yourself with people who are encouraging, supportive and full of faith. If you do not have a support system, get busy creating one weather its an on-line support group, or personal friends and family.

If the worry begins to seep in again, repeat steps one through six!

The Vocal Heart
"Let Your Heart Speak"

Acceptance or Change

2010-01-22T10:18:00.000-08:00

When you think about it, most of the things that cause us stress are things that we have not accepted; when we resist what is. The moment we accept the things we cannot change, we find peace and a burden is lifted. The key is to know when we can change something and be courageous enough to make the changes, or become willing to accept the things we can’t change.

Often we have more power then we realize to make changes in our lives. One of the most important things that we can change is our attitude or prospective about something. We have a choice in how we see things, half full or half empty. When we change our attitude towards our situation or circumstance, change has already begun to take place.

Things that we have no control over, such as the weather, choosing who our parents are, the decisions that other’s make etc., are things we can come to accept. Accepting something does not necessarily mean that you like it, but rather you stop trying to fix manage or control it. We decide to just let it be. It becomes somewhat easier to accept people and circumstances once we began to see that all of our circumstances and the people that we have encountered along life’s journey have all played a role in who we are. There were lessons in all our experiences. Did you get the lesson or do you have to take the class again?

Some things that we endure are harder to accept then others, like the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job. Even in these circumstances we must come to trust our creator and come to the place of acceptance. This is an individual process and happens quicker for some than others. I believe that one of the reasons I am able to function through my grief is because I came to accept the death of my husband relatively quickly. I did go through the why God phase, the denial, the anger etc. however I realized early on that I could stay in that place or LIVE. I chose to accept and LIVE as my husband would have wanted me to and as God instructs me to do.

It’s all summed up in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

As the prayer states, serenity comes with acceptance. Change takes courage.

Get Out Of That Rut!

2010-01-15T04:14:00.001-08:00

The saying goes, "if you do what you always did, you will get what you always got." What is it that you need to do differently?

Most of us are creatures of habit. Routine has it's place and is a discipline in and of itself. However when routine stifles life to the point that we are not allowing ourselves to experience new things, it could be time to take a fresh approach.

Challenge yourself to do a new thing or an old thing a new way. Start small, take a different route to work. Change your hair color or style. It does'nt have to be drastic, if you wear the part on the right side change it to the left. Rearrange the furniture in one room of your house or the entire house. Are you preparing the same ole meals? Try a new recipe, a new food, a new restaurant. Wbat about that perfume you have been wearing for the last several years. Try a new frangrance. Try watching a television show you never watched or you thought would not interest you. Take a trip to a place that you have not been.

Studies show that when you make changes, it forces your brain off of "automatic pilot". Change encourages your brain to work harder and even helps to prevent dimentia. And more importantly it allows you to LIVE and experience life from a new and fresh prospective!

What will you do differently? Follow your heart into new and exciting experiences!

Welcome to my Heart Speak Blog!

2010-01-09T02:57:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my Heart Speak blog! This is a forum to speak from the heart. To speak from the heart means to speak in a way that others' can relate, not necessarily agree, but relate. It is speaking the truth as it is felt from the heart!

The purpose of my blog is to inspire, motivate, educate, to critic books and literature that I find to serve these purposes, all of course in keeping with my theme of speaking from the heart.

I would like to invite you to share your thoughts, ask questions and provide your suggestions. There is but one rule, you must "speak from the heart".

The Vocal Heart
"Let Your Heart Speak"