She had made so many changes. She was more vibrant. Closer to God. She had literally become a more beautiful woman. She had ministered to others too and helped them walk this difficult journey.

I had not seen this coming, and neither had she. Her husband had seemed supportive, and they had come a long way. His divorcing her was completely unexpected.

For days I moped around, wondering how this could happen, asking God why. I remembered others whose marriages had also not reconciled. People who seemed to be doing all the right things.

One morning as I spent a prolonged time in prayer, God started whispering to my heart with memories, recollections, and encouragement. In my memory I saw Selena when she first came to class and how she was now. She had changed dramatically. She was more vibrant, more beautiful with a light in her eyes and a softness in her face. Her words were uplifting and gracious. She was closer to God and had a vital faith.

As God began to show me this, He began to speak to me in my heart. It’s not all about the marriage, Linda. It’s about the person themselves. And their relationship to me. I want them to come closer to me. And that’s what’s most important.

Awhile later my husband asked me what I was doing. I told him I’d been spending time with God and He was showing me some things.

“What did He show you?” he asked. “I always like hearing what God says to you.”

When I told him, he said, “Well that’s what we say in Marriage 911. You can’t change your spouse. You can only change yourself. It’s about your relationship between you and God.”

“And that’s what people say to me in their emails too,” I said. “Many people, whose marriages were not reconciled, email me to say that even though their marriage didn’t get back together and it was one of the hardest times in their life, they wouldn’t trade this experience because they had come so much closer to God.”

So, yes, after spending that time with the Lord, I realized it all comes down to this.

Even though my books and our Marriage 911 ministry have helped to bring about many reconciled marriages, there is no guarantee. Our fallen human natures still impact the results. The sinful choices and desires of a spouse can undermine God’s best plan for us. Likewise, our own past choices may have exhausted the emotional strength and patience of our mate. God gives us free will and does not force His own will upon us.

Sometimes in the searching for answers, we find answers we never expected, answers that explain far more than what initially drove us in our search.

In one of the last stories of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, I quote an email sent to me from Theresa, who had gone through Marriage 911 and read Broken Heart on Hold, but whose marriage still ended in a divorce initiated by her husband. In the email she recalls the difficult journey and what she had learned through it.  “What if I was not really fighting for my marriage?” she asks. “What if God was actually having me fight for myself—my soul, my heart, my own salvation?” She finishes the email by saying, “The one that has been restored, I assure you, has been ME! I can finally hear Jesus saying to my heart, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:19).’”

As I continued to meditate on what God was showing me that day, I pictured someone dancing in God’s presence, joyful in the love surrounding them.  And I realized, although we want to help reconcile marriages, our ultimate goal is this: to open up each person’s heart to God, themselves, and others so they can shed the shabbiness within their souls and become the beautiful creation God intended them to be.

Hopefully, as they dance into their new persona, their spouses will be able to join them in the dance and the two of them can grow together in the pursuit of holiness God wants them to have. But even if their spouse does not join them, they will not dance alone. Jesus is there to lead them into the joyful discovery of all He holds for them. His love will be ever-present and His dance will lift them to new heights.

The post What If My Marriage Is Not Reconciled? appeared first on Linda Rooks.

Morning had come.

Although I’d felt discouraged the day before, I’d gone to bed by lifting the Lord up in praise, remembering that even in the darkness He could overcome. I have to confess that It’s certainly not something I do every time I feel disappointed and unhappy, but over the years I’ve learned about the power of praising God and remembering His goodness. And the worship service the morning before had reminded me what a good God we have.

As I lay enveloped in the sunshine, a scripture, remembered from long ago, drifted into my mind. “Your compassions are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3).

Yes, He was faithful, and yes, it was a new morning, a new day—a new opportunity for God’s compassions to lift me up, a new opportunity to see prayers answered, a new opportunity to see hope rise up in the midst of ashes and disappointment. I was ready to see what God would do.

The cup I retrieved from the kitchen cupboard a few minutes later reassured me of that truth once again.“This is the day the Lord has made,” it said. “I will be glad and rejoice in it” (Psalm 118:24). This was God’s day and I could trust Him to guide me through it.

Receiving the Gift

Morning is a gift to us, a new beginning. The sun comes out as a declaration of hope, claiming the promise of a new day. Even if sorrows from the day before hover above our spirits, the morning brings a new opportunity to release them to the Healer of hearts.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail,” declares Lamentations 3:22-14. “They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “’The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’”

Each morning offers a new opportunity to see prayers answered, and a new chance to wipe our slates clean by coming to God and seeking forgiveness. Each morning we can open up our Bibles afresh to see what God is saying to us for THIS day. Best of all, each morning begins a new day to invite our Savior to journey with us through the hours in front of us, leading us one step at a time and opening our eyes to new possibilities.

We may not see the answers come that day either. But guess what? When we lay our head on the pillow that night and go to sleep, a few hours later we will awaken to another new morning–a new gift from God. And His compassions are new EVERY morning.

What is God saying to you about today? Forget about yesterday. That is over. And don’t worry about  tomorrow, or it will rob you of today. Today is yours right now, and it will never come again. Enjoy the gift God has given you – the gift of today. Watch and wait for what He is doing in your life in the coming hours. The morning brings new opportunities. Celebrate by praising Him, using the power of prayer He has given you, and by serving Him as you love those who come into your path throughout the day.

Enjoy your gift—your gift of a new morning and a new day. It’s a precious gift from God.

If your heart needs healing in the midst of marital trauma, you will find hope and a friend to walk beside you in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

The post New Every Morning appeared first on Linda Rooks.

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How could she forgive him? And why should she even try? If anyone has the right to not forgive, she certainly qualifies.

We are in awe. Forgiveness is hard. Even in small matters. But particularly in matters of brutality and betrayal.

So why? And how?

As Christians, we know God has commanded us to forgive. Even in the Lord’s Prayer, we acknowledge His command every time we repeat, “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us . . .”

But it’s hard to follow through with that. Even lesser grievances can hold some of us hostage to unforgiveness.

For Erika, I believe that as a woman who takes God’s words seriously, she understood the deeper implications of NOT following them. In choosing to follow the teachings of Jesus and surrendering her heart to His will, she appreciated the subtle deceits of unforgiveness and the dangers unforgiveness  can bring to our hearts and lives. In forgiving the man who killed her husband, she found freedom.

She was a living example for us, and that’s why we grapple with the subject today. It challenges us to examine our own hearts to see if we have traces of unforgiveness lurking there.. And if so, what to do with it.

The Danger of Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness is deceitful. Initially, it feels like a protective shield  to guard our hearts and punish the person who wronged us. But gradually the unforgiveness sits in our hearts and festers – not into something that hurts the other person, but into something that has the power to hurt us.

Recently, a friend told me that at one time in her life she’d been so bound up with unforgiveness that it actually caused her to become mentally ill for a while. She was even temporarily institutionalized.

It was a shocking revelation that jolted me into examining my own life and thinking more about unforgiveness and how it can impact each of our lives.

It begins, of course, when we feel someone hurts us or wrongs us in some way. And while feelings of anger may be legitimate, Ephesians 4:26-27 gives us a warning.  “In your anger do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Unforgiveness begins as a simmering anger that grows and grows, an anger we nurture in our hearts and minds. But Paul’s warning above is that by allowing it to fester within us, we are “giving the devil a foothold.” We are opening ourselves up to the devil’s schemes to “kill, steal, and destroy”  (John 10:10). And one way he tries to destroy us is by planting seeds of bitterness within us because he knows the damage bitterness can do to our souls. And that bitterness often evolves from unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness doesn’t just happen out of thin air. We have reasons for not being able to forgive. We’ve been hurt. Maybe deeply hurt. And wronged. Unforgiveness seems a way to protect ourselves from more hurt and a way to inflict justice on the one who hurt us. Our pain blinds us from the deeper truth that the bitter root of unforgiveness spreading through our minds and hearts gives a foothold to the devil to steal our peace and joy and ravage our very souls (and perhaps our sanity.)

The Reason for Forgiveness

It’s hard to forgive. It’s hard to move beyond the pain when someone hurts, wrongs, or betrays us. Even the thought of forgiving them curdles in our veins. That person doesn’t deserve our forgiveness. He or she deserves to feel our anger. But the more that root of anger deepens into bitterness, the more our peace evaporates. Paul instructs us on this in Heb. 12:15.  “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

Jesus tells us to forgive others, not to punish us or make things hard for us, but to bring us freedom. He demonstrated the humility and the power of forgiveness even as he hung on the cross, asking God to forgive those who were crucifying him at that very moment.  And after he triumphed over death, he offered His forgiveness to us even though our sins are many.

As she fought back tears in that moment of relinquishment, Erika Kirk demonstrated this to us as she stood before millions of people at her husband’s memorial. The crowd erupted in applause at her courage because many of them, as Christians, knew how excruciatingly hard it was, but the incredible freedom it also brings.

Forgiveness provides a road to freedom and peace when we take our pain to our loving Father and lay it at His feet. He promises to bind up the wounds of our heart and heal the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3). And He will fulfill that promise to each of us as we follow His lead and trust Him for healing.

How To Find the Freedom

If this is a particularly hard subject for you, and the idea of forgiving just seems too hard to do, I understand. I’ve been there, and in traversing this road I’ve discovered a better way to understand how forgiveness really works. It’s not as simple as it seems, but there’s a way that even you can take this difficult walk into the freedom that it brings if you’ve been deeply wounded. If this is where you are, and you want to better understand how to be able to forgive, I urge you to read my Focus on the Family article, Understanding Forgiveness. It may clarify things for you and make it easier for you to get to a peaceful place.

God wants you to experience the freedom only He can give. He wants to give you His peace and joy.

If your heart is breaking and you’re finding it hard to forgive, my first book, Broken Heart on Hold will walk with you through your pain and help you find that road to peace.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts” (Psalm 139:23).

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

The post To Forgive or Not To Forgive appeared first on Linda Rooks.

AS I SAT AT BREAKFAST, thanking God for His many blessings through the years, I thought about my last post about “A Waste of Time.” In spite of knowing how God is continually present in our everyday lives, how many times did I wrestle with my time management when it came to working in a concentrated prayer time with God each day? Maybe that happens to you too.  “I have so much to do today I really can’t afford to spend time reading the Bible. Maybe I can work it in later,” etc, etc.

When I think about my last post however, I have to laugh. God isn’t interested in how quickly we can accomplish everything on our to-do list. His priority is my spending time in relationship with Him, in seeking Him for the answers, in probing the depths of His Word to learn more about Him, in finding His heart for others, in discovering what changes He wants to make in me.

If the process is more important than the outcome, then time management becomes an irony of our own limited and maybe warped human perspective.  If God is in control, then He can manage our time much more effectively than we can.

In Matthew 6:25, Jesus tells us not to “worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” Jesus has promised to take care of us so why do we try to manage it by ourselves?

My Time Management Strategy vs. God’s

So what’s really behind my reluctance to prioritize time with God over getting going with my day?

Is it a control issue? Is it because I think I can manage my day better than God can? Is it the tyranny of the urgent? The hours seem too short and the list too long, and those little urgent details just have to get done!  Do I let the details of my list rule over me instead of letting God guide me through the day?

Most important, if I’m taking control of my day without asking God to come along beside me, am I missing something important He wants me to do that day?  A word of encouragement for myself or others? An opportunity to serve and honor Him? Or perhaps the scripture He gives me in the morning will give me the very tools I need to handle a certain situation later on?

I love seeing David’s heart in Psalm 5:3 when he describes the way he expectantly starts his day. “In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly” (Psalm 5:3).

Right Word at the Right Time

During the pandemic I had an important zoom interview scheduled for a secular marriage conference where I was one of just a few Christians speaking. It was a rare opportunity to present a Christian perspective to an audience with very mixed religious backgrounds. Although I spent quite a bit of time preparing, I was still nervous about how to weave a Christian message into my talk without it being intrusive.

That morning, with a challenging day ahead, I sat on the couch to spend time with God in prayer.  As I  took out my Bible to continue reading in Isaiah, I  “just happened” to come to Isaiah 51:16, where God says to Isaiah, “I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand— I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth.”

Goose bumps ran up and down my arms as I read the words again.

With 66 books in the Bible, God “just happened” to pop before me the very words of assurance I needed to let me know that He, the God of creation, would put His words in my mouth, and cover me with His presence. Later that day during the interview, the host, although not a Christian herself, lead me into the very line of questions that allowed me to present the hope of Jesus to an audience that rarely heard God’s word. His words indeed were in my mouth.

Spending time with God that morning before the Conference gave me exactly what I needed to meet the challenges of that day and a heart of “expectancy” as I waited to see exactly how He would intervene and fulfill His promise.

****

Are you fascinated like I am by the concept of time as it pertains to God’s timing, our timing, and how it all fits together? If so, you might enjoy my suspense novel, Pieces of Dark, Pieces of Light, in which the protagonist’s journey back in time dramatically reveals how the decisions we make today can impact the future in much greater ways than we could ever imagine.

The post God’s Contradiction of Time Management appeared first on Linda Rooks.

Was it just a waste of time?

With that question lurking in my mind, I sipped some iced tea and began leafing through a magazine. My eyes fell on an article about missionaries working in an unnamed country with very strict laws. Recent regulatory changes required the missionaries to acquire a building and meet very high standards that would take time to develop, They weren’t sure they could do it before their visas expired. The article told of the many months that passed as they prayed and searched their host city for a property that met the very detailed specifications. After a number of potential arrangements fell through, they grew more and more discouraged. But then, right at the last minute, they found what they needed and were able to meet all the specifications. They called it a miracle.

All the time it took them. . . it seemed a waste of time. They were missionaries. They were praying, and yet . . . it still took time.

So was it a waste of time?

I am so project oriented I often measure the success of my days by how much I accomplish on my list. Time is important to me. I hate wasting time—especially when the computer freezes up or I misplace something and have to look for it—or a hundred other things that seem to take longer than necessary.

The strange thing is though: God doesn’t seem to care if we waste time. When I think about how long it took for my first book to get published even though it’s now helped so many people, when we think about the story of the missionaries I just mentioned, or instances in which someone prays for a long time for their marriage to be reconciled or their health to be restored, we can’t help wondering, “Why doesn’t God answer immediately?” He certainly has the power to do it. Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to everyone for the prayers to be answered quickly? After all they are PRAYING!

But when I ponder that question, I realize time doesn’t seem to be God’s biggest concern.

God seems more interested in something else.

To begin with, 2 Peter 3:8-9 reminds us, “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

For God, the process is apparently more important than our timetables. First, He wants those in our sphere of influence to “come to repentance,” to come to salvation so they can become children of God.

Secondly, He is interested in how we go about trying to achieve our goals. What are we doing while waiting—or looking for something lost? Grumbling? Complaining? Angry at God or others? Slumping into depression? Or are we using this time to come closer to God and ask for direction and counsel? Perhaps He wants to use this time to refine our characters and help us grow closer to Him. Do we pause and pray? Seek answers from scripture? Talk to Christian friends? Praise Him in the midst of our trials? Are we growing in some way?

James 3:8 instructs us to: “Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 3:10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

Perhaps God’s purpose for allowing us to trudge through the process is reflected best in Paul’s instruction to the Philippians. “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12-13)

Finally, 1 Peter 2:5, shares God’s ultimate purpose and design for these unwanted periods of “wasted time.” For those of us who are Christians, 1 Peter 2:5 says, ”you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”

All in the Process

Our Christian life is in process. God wants to continue to grow us so we can win the race and be all that we can be when we enter His kingdom. What we consider a waste of time may actually be an invitation to dive more deeply into God’s purposes. God is more interested in the process we are going through than the achievement of our goals. For in the process, He wants us to turn to Him and use our times of uncertainty to come closer to Him in relationship.

The same is actually true of my weeds. Although I often begrudge the need to do it, my work pulling weeds often becomes a special time with God. In those quiet moments, if I’m listening, God speaks to me through the mysteries of His creation and teaches me more about life, love, and how to know Him better.

So is it a waste of time? No, it’s all in the process. If we’re listening and seeking, if we want to win the race, God can use those lost moments of wasted time to show us more of Himself.

 “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14

If you’ve been praying for your marriage and you still don’t know if reconciliation will take place, you may find help in my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.  There’s hope even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

The post A Waste of Time appeared first on Linda Rooks.

There are a number of excellent books that can help in this process. Even if you’re not a reader, many of them have audio versions too. The books in the following list are ones I have personally read. Each approaches restoration from a different angle, but each one offers excellent insights and tools that can help restore your marriage.

For more specific situations, there are other good books I recommend too. But if your marriage is in crisis these are ones that can help you now. For further suggestions check out my links page on brokenheartonhold.com

The Five Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts and How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman.

The DNA of Relationships for Couples: Discover how these couples found new passion, by Dr. Gregg Smalley and Dr. Robert S. Paul.

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated: A Practical Guide for Reconciling a Separated Marriage, by Linda W. Rooks.

Vertical Marriage: The One Secret That Will Change Your Marriage, by Dave and Ann Wilson.

Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices that Make or Break Loving Relationships, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation: The friend readers will turn to again and again to strengthen their hearts on their difficult journey of separation, by Linda W. Rooks.

9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage. . . And The Truths That Will Save It and Set It Free, by Robert Paul and Gregg Smalley.

Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy Rather Than to Make Us Happy? by Gary Thomas.

Your Marriage Can Be Saved: 12 Truths for Rescuing Your Relationship, by Joe and Michelle Williams.

His Needs, Her Needs: Making Romantic Love Last (How to Identify and Satisfy 10 Vital Needs in Your Marriage: A Practical Relationship Guide for Couples), by Willard F. Harley.

Sometimes one book is all you need to illumine your path forward and help restore your marriage. But often, the input from more than one authority in the field will build upon one another and strengthen your ability to move towards a fuller restoration and a happier outcome.

God bless you with hope and healing as you travel this path to restore your marriage.

The post 10 Best Books To Help Restore Your Marriage appeared first on Linda Rooks.

As I watch new life springing up from the cold harshness of winter, I think of you, my readers, and some of the stories I’ve heard from you through the years– story after story of new life breathed into marriages that once appeared to be dead.

It’s the same, familiar story God brings to us when the world seems dark and hope seems gone. For just when we think the winter will never end, we see a small sprig of green pushing up from the earth, and we realize hope has not disappeared but lies dormant beneath the soil of our dreams, waiting for the sun to shine—waiting for the light to bring it forth.

For after winter, we know the spring will eventually come.

Springtime brings us a wonderful reminder that God is not through with us or our story. For just as He is always at work beneath the surface of the soil, He is always at work beneath the surface of our lives to burst through the crust of disillusionment to bring beauty when we least expect it.

If we can plant even that tiny seed of faith into the soil of our heart and turn our face to God, He will help us grow it into something beautiful.  He promises to bring “beauty from ashes”(Isaiah 61:3) and hope from the dreariness of our pain.

Doing A New Thing in the Wilderness

I love the words of Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

This was a scripture God gave to me—no, I should say this was a promise God gave to me—even at a time when I saw little hope for my marriage to survive the separation that had torn my marriage apart.

I was sitting in a church service and an elderly missionary was speaking. He began reading from the Bible, and when he spoke these words, they jumped out at me and lodged in my heart. I knew these words were for me, and I wrote them down. It was one of the turning points that brought me hope. Although nothing had changed between my husband and me, God gave me a promise that nourished my heart. God was at work behind the scenes. Beneath the hard winter of my days, God was preparing the soil for springtime.

Two years later our marriage was reconciled.

God’s Stories Woven through Nature

Jesus often used analogies from nature to speak to us in the Bible, and if we’re sensitive to God’s Spirit, we can sometimes see these analogies ourselves when we gaze into the wonders of the creation He gave us — sometimes in our own backyards. Often, when I spend time digging in the dirt, trimming the bushes, or planting flowers—even when I’m pulling weeds—God whispers His truths into my heart, weaving them through nature and bringing them to me as gifts. Once unwrapped, they open my mind and heart to a new hope borne from God.

As spring unfolds, open your heart and mind to the messages of hope God may have for you in the nature He created. When you’re discouraged, spend some time in His Word, then take a walk outside and look around at the miracles God brings to us in nature. Soak in God’s sunshine. Try to remember when He has surprised you with a blessing or a miracle in your own life. He isn’t through tending the garden of your soul. He has more for you. Let Him speak to your heart. Put your hope in Him. I believe you may be surprised to discover how often you can find hope in unexpected places.

© Linda Rooks 2019

If you’re feeling discouraged, my book, Broken Heart on Hold, can be a friend to you by bringing messages of hope that walk with you through the barren valley of brokenness and lift your eyes to the God of reconciliation.

The post After Winter comes the Spring – Nature’s Message of Hope appeared first on Linda Rooks.

For before the victory is the pain and suffering.

If we are among those who have suffered rejection, we meet there a Savior who knows our pain. For not only did Jesus suffer the pain of an excruciating death on the cross and the unrelenting harassment by his enemies, but during his most horrific moments of his earthly life, HE ALSO EXPERIENCED REJECTION FROM THOSE CLOSEST TO HIM.

As he was marched to his execution, where were his disciples, the men He had loved and poured His life into over the previous three years?

THEY HAD DESERTED HIM, scattered in fear and confusion. One of them had betrayed Him, taken the sweet privilege of walking beside Him, enjoying his companionship, and listening to His personal confidences and used this intimacy to betray him by turning him over to his enemies.

Another, Peter, who had vowed to fight for Him, never to leave Him crumbled at the simple questioning and accusations of a humble servant girl, swearing to her that HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HIM. Then, in shame, he too had run away.

Of the twelve, only the disciple John stood by him. And, indeed, his mother.

Yes, JESUS KNEW REJECTION.  He knows our pain. And He comes to us as He did long ago to heal us, comfort us, and give us new life. For those of us who have felt the stab of betrayal or rejection from spouses who vowed to love us for a lifetime, we are not alone. The very God of the Universe, the One who created us, and told us He came to heal the brokenhearted and bind up our wounds knows the pain of rejection from those closest to him on earth.

Sometimes on this desolate journey, we feel all alone. No one seems to understand just how painful rejection can be when a spouse turns their back on us. We don’t know where to turn, who to talk to. But as we come to the cross, as we look up to the One who spilled out his blood on our behalf, whose love bleeds sacrificially into the healing of our hearts, we can know WE HAVE A SAVIOR WHO DOES UNDERSTAND. He’s been there. He’s felt our pain. He loves us, and He promises to heal our broken hearts.

This Easter, experience your Savior’s love as a personal gift to you. Let the love He offered on the cross heal the wounds of rejection.

And as the salve of His love binds up your heart, allow yourself to capture the beautiful climax of what happened next. JESUS SHOWS US THAT REJECTION AND PAIN ARE NOT THE END. That with Him beside us, there is victory. Let Him comfort you in your pain, but through His resurrection, let Him also show you the path to abundant life He so desperately wants you to have. He wants so much for you to experience the wonderful new life He has for you that He died to give it to you. When Jesus took His last breath on the cross, He enabled us to take our first breath of new life.

If you’re looking for more help to heal your broken heart, I pray my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, can help fill in the gaps.

The post A Savior Who Knows the Pain of Rejection appeared first on Linda Rooks.

I HEARD HER VOICE CRACKING as she described the situation in her marriage to me over the phone. She paused briefly, cleared her throat, and resumed her story. I could tell she was trying to hold back her emotions. At the end of our conversation, I asked if I could pray with her. She agreed. As my prayer ended, she could no longer hold back the tears and began to sob uncontrollably. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay,” I said.  “I understand.”

And, oh yes, I did! Not only did I understand, but I knew her flow of tears was sacred in the eyes of God. Her heart was breaking in His presence so He could enter in and bring her healing.

When our lives are rocked with troubles of catastrophic proportions, many of us try not to cry, to be strong and hold back the tears. But when the burning pain within us gets to the breaking point and  tears begin to flow, that’s when the real freedom can start to take hold.

For I believe at those moments God’s heart is able to reach down to ours to encompass us in His love. God welcomes our tears. In fact, He cherishes them. In Psalm 56:8 David even says God puts our tears in His bottle. “You put my tears into your bottle. Are they not in your book?” David asks.

Why are tears precious to God? Why does the Bible picture God as keeping our tears in a bottle and making note of them in His book?

A Broken Heart

Weeping is often an outward sign of what is happening inwardly. When we cry, our heart is in the midst of breaking. It’s softening. Our control of the situation is at an end. The problem is bigger than we are. Our emotions are telling us we no longer have answers.

When we allow the tears to flow, the pain ripping at our hearts opens them up to a brokenness that can then be healed by the mighty hand of God – if we let him. Psalm 34 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tears are sacred. They are the God-given gift to us that allows Him to prepare the soil of our hearts for His healing so we can receive more of Him and more of the gifts He wants to give us.

When we are walking through the valley, trying to hold on to hope, but knowing hope is only possible by giving our situation to God, many of us still struggle to let go. Letting go does not come naturally. We want to hold on and figure things out for ourselves. When we finally do let go, for some of us the surrendering of our circumstances to God may be accompanied by tears as we finally give up trying to be in charge. When our hearts break in His presence, He will sit with us in our grief. He will comfort our hearts and put them back together so they can reflect the mystery of His perfect calling for our life.

Those Who Wept in the Bible

Time and again we read about characters of the Old and New Testaments shedding tears as they prayed and wept before God in anguish over their circumstances. They were not hot angry tears, but surrendering, heartbreaking tears. And when their hearts were surrendered to the Lord, God heard and answered their prayers. As a result of their tears:

• The faithful King Hezekiah was given 15 more years to live (Isaiah 38:1-5).
• Nehemiah was able to go and rebuild the wall of Jerusalem (Nehemiah 1:4 – 2:6).
• David was protected from his enemies over and over again and went on to become the most celebrated king of Israel (Psalm 6:6-10, 39:12).
• A sinful woman was forgiven of her many sins while she wept in repentance and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears (Luke 7:44-47).
• Paul’s anguish and heartfelt tears resulted in God’s leading him with sensitivity in his writing of his letter to the Corinthians so the people could see his love rather than be grieved by his words of correction (2 Cor. 2:4)

Songs of Joy

God heals the brokenhearted. When our tears bring us into communion with God in prayer and we allow Him to come deeper into our hearts, He can transform that pain into something new. Our hearts become fresh clay that He can mold into a more compassionate, caring, and sensitive vessel He can fill with his love and purpose.

And perhaps that’s why the Bible also says, “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them (Psalm 126:5-6).

I love this image for in it I see a picture of ourselves when we are the brokenhearted. When we come to God, with tears flowing and our hearts humbled and surrendered into God’s holy hands, our tears can water the softening soil of our hearts to produce blessings that only His love within us can produce. And with His blessings of love come the songs of joy.

Don’t be afraid of tears. When your heart is breaking, let the tears wash the pain from your heart so your heart is ready to experience God’s healing balm and the fullness of His amazing love.

“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise” (Psalm 51:17).

Think about this. If God’s love is using your tears to water the soil of your heart, what blessings might result from this?  What are the “sheaves” you will carry later on as you sing your songs of joy? I’d love to see your comments.

If you want to fight for your marriage, let me walk with you through the pages of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. There you will find practical help that can guide you toward reconciliation even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

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