Heartsick and Headstrong

Pictures...

2011-03-01T06:00:00.005-06:00

I don't have a blog subject but I have some fun pictures! Yeah, yeah. I know. That's random. But it's my blog and it's a slow week so here you go! I hope you enjoy some spring fever shots! Happy beginning of March!
That's me down there! I look so itsy bitsy! That's one of my favorite little t shirts and I miss it. It's packed in the Summer box just waiting to come back out. This picture is a bit of a cheat. I didn't know it was being taken (If I had I wouldn't have my arm poking out like a chicken wing.) but that's OUR boat! A buddy of mine took it before they docked. I'm at the fuel dock of my marina and I'm pretty sure I'm about to do something really cool to you non boaters and really boring to you mariners. Catch a boat, hop nimbly aboard, and fuel. Thrilling huh? Nope, not really. It does crack me up when people pull up and ooh and ah though. They like the boats, the birds, and the scenery. They LOVE the whole marine world so it puts things in perspective. This IS fun. Who wouldn't be thrilled to spend a day here?
I take it back. Who wouldn't want to spend a day HERE? Ah, much better. I've got a ton of pictures of the bow of my boat pointing towards water but I have a soft spot for this one. I was laying out down there on a hot, sticky summer day. Corey was happy as a crab driving and I was half asleep on my towel on the bow. One of those crazy summer showers popped up and I ran for the bridge to hide from the rain. I was sitting by Corey, SOAKED, when the sun came back out. It was so beautiful I had to take a picture. Through the rain and the sun, the temperature never dropped out of the high 90's. This was one of those great days. It was just Corey and I, driving in circles and chasing sun. We had nothing to do and nowhere to be. Summer. It's fabulous isn't it?

Eat your heart out!

2011-02-12T22:13:00.007-06:00

I'm not a Valentine's Day fan. It's a silly holiday. You're either really good at it or you're destined for a holiday filled with anxiety and last minute shopping. Non Valentine's people only find value in the 75% off candy you can pick up the day after.

If it's not already obvious, I'm not a big fan of packed restaurants, slapped together bouquets, and cheap-o ugly jewelry they pimp in commercials. Blech. Still don't think that's bad enough? Keep scrolling down!
Ta da! It's a MEAT heart! Seriously. My favorite grocery store took two 1 inch thick ribeyes and packed them in a heart shaped cake pan. BOOM! It's an instant man gift to prove your love and affection. Could this thing BE any more disgusting?! Please pardon the awful picture. No one loves a post facial, fabric headband like me. I can totally rock the getting-pretty-makes-you-ugly look don't you think?
Let's put the Heart-O-Meat into perspective shall we?
-points to self- I'm a HEART patient. Holding this nasty thing. Oh, and I don't eat cows, or pigs, or anything else with fur for that matter. It's beyond awful. So why did I buy it? Because Handsome really loves steak and I really love Handsome. These were the biggest ribeyes in the store so these were the ones he got. Go me.

Ever seen two slabs of red meat marinating in a heart pan? It looks like an autopsy. I'm sorry to say that after I caught a glimpse I chickened out and insisted he cook them that night. Screw the marinade, I can't sleep with that THING lurking in my fridge. It totally creeped me out! My movie brain kicked in and all I could think about was opening the refrigerator door and being attacked by a giant meat heart Facehugger style like in Aliens. If you don't know what a Facehugger is Google it. It'll come back to you in all it's nightmare inducing glory. Next replace any picture you pull up with a meat heart and you'll have a pretty good idea of what was going through my head. It's a strange place in there sometimes.
THIS is how I spent that night while they were in there. Approach fridge with caution, avoid eye contact, prepare to kick a$$. Valentine's Day sucks.

Sometimes thank you just doesn't say it.

2011-01-31T06:00:00.006-06:00

I'm not a "big" person. In my family I'm not the prettiest, or the smartest, or the most ambitious. If you asked them to describe me they would say I was the sweetest. All of my treasures that I stored or put on the boat are either gifts or things inherited from the family members I've lost. We gave away the rest when Corey and I decided to live in this crazy and wonderful way. I'm not big on "things" but the treasures from my loved ones... those I kept. All of them.

If I had to describe myself I would use the word temperate. My biggest wishes are for happiness and health, usually for other people. I love peace and quiet and being on the water. I'm a mostly happy, mostly nice, mostly quiet person. Want to see me uncomfortable? Make me the center of attention. All I want out of life is to love my husband and family, live on this boat and travel a little, and treasure every breath and day after August of 2009. No big aspirations there! I don't want anything because I honestly don't NEED anything. Can you believe this, I'd actually be embarrassed to ask for or have more. It's just not right when I've been so lucky already.

It's no secret that I'm one of those girls that wants little and receives way too much. Yesterday was my birthday and I got all the phone calls and texts from my family and friends that I always do. Do you know what else happened? Facebook! This may seem very silly to you guys but it meant the world to me. I woke up to over a dozen birthday posts on my wall. By lunch, three dozen. By the end of a truly fabulous birthday about 150 people had taken a moment out of their day to post a "happy" for me to read.

Can you believe that? That many? What a gift! For a girl like me nothing could have shocked or touched me more. Thank you for my birthday present guys. It meant the world to me. In true Gillian spirit my birthday wish is simple. I want everyone to have as blessed and happy a year as you wished me. Seriously. Be happy, be nice to each other, and try your best to be healthy!

Thank you, thank you, you're more then I deserve. With friends like you it's going to be a wonderful year!

Update - Chuck has decided to participate as well. Right after this posted I stepped on a flying squirrel. Chuck sat serenly on our railing, looking very proud of himself. Sigh. It looks like Corey is on critter cleanup detail while I boot the cat onto the dock for a few hours. Let the year of 32 begin!

Bottoms Up!

2011-01-29T07:00:00.000-06:00

Did any of you notice that I said I had to get out of town in my last post? Well I really did. Our baby broke. Kind of. Don't be scared, I'm going to break down all boat terms into Gillianese so we'll all be on the same page. The Ms. Linda had a blistered bottom. I kid you not. That's what it's called. Last month we had our boat lifted out of the water for an inspection and a power wash. We're crazy, obsessive boat owners and we want our baby to be perfect so that's why. What we found was b.a.d!

Sometimes the fiberglass on the hull of a boat will "bubble" on a boat bottom and cause what looks like a blister. This is potentially awful because they let water in. Without a boat bottom you don't have a boat so this sucks. The blisters had to go and the Ms. Linda needed a whole new bottom job. We need new paint, sanding, and repairs. The only problem? Corey had to fix one girl of his while getting rid of the other one. Me!
This, my friends, is why. Very, very uncool. Our baby would be placed in the boat yard for at least 4 days to get the work done. The only way to get on the boat is to climb up a ladder and crawl through our tuna door. She's only running on half her power to. While most stuff works, there's no heat, or air, or fun stuff like cable, wifi, and Netflix. There's no way Corey is going to tolerate living with me on a boat, on LAND, without entertainment or heat. His solution was the best birthday present ever...
Bam! Disney! You already know how I was disposed of though so lets get back to what Corey was doing. He was busy! I called every day to check on him and our "baby" only to hear that we were a little behind schedule. All our old bottom paint was sanded down and then he repaired all the blisters. There were more then we thought so it took him a long time and I returned to this.
We're still in the boat yard. Darn. On a good note, notice our new black paint! Almost done! Guys, she looks gorgeous. All problem areas have been fixed and thanks to the fact that we both work in this particular boat yard we got a weekend date to go back in the water. I for one was very grateful to not have to wait till Monday. The giant blue thing you see in this picture is a boat lift. It's what picks up that monster boat of ours and moves it all around.
Look at our pretty props and shafts! The silver "bling" you see snapped everywhere are called zincs. They corrode away instead of the metal parts of the Ms. Linda. You place them all over your running gear to protect it from the crud. This may sound silly guys but looking at this just makes me happy. I'm officially insane for loving this that much. You know that little hum women make when they look at jewelry? I still do, but I make the same happy noise when I see beautifully maintained boats.

I can't explain it. It has to do with elegance and symmetry and all tied up with how they're maintained and improved by the people that own them. I just plain like them and always have. Simply put, boats are pretty. So there.
Here is my handsome and handy husband ambling around to the bow of our boat to guide the lift into place. That's a looong way down! We both aren't bothered by heights so amble it is.
Lifted! The creaks and groans had me pacing like a worried momma but she was fine. The yellow straps go all the way around the boat and the cardboard you see stuffed between the straps and the boat are there to protect our new paint.
Corey is very worried. She handled the lift fine, but the ride down to the water was a nail biter. She made it back to our slip without a scratch to her new paint so we're happy!
Also worried, Chuck. I came home to this pitiful critter wandering around and crying at everything and everyone. Reason 437 that I love Corey would be that while I was out of town he fed him and actually carried him onto the boat so that he would know where it was. No dice, Chuck is traumatized. We've reached full on stalker mode since I've been back. If you see me in the marina these days you'll find Chuck within a 10 foot radius and if not he's sitting on some of my stuff somewhere. Corey and I have no idea how to cure pitiful so it looks like I'll be dealing with an oversensitive cat for a while.

That's it! My week, Corey's, and poor Chuck's all in two big, fat blog posts. I'm going back to Googling a cool birthday present for Corey. He deserves it! Ideas???

I'll never beat this!

2011-01-27T11:00:00.000-06:00

I had to be out of town for a few days and my birthday is coming up. Corey stepped up and gave me the best birthday gift ever! Seriously guys, I don't know if I'm ever going to beat this. What would make Corey as happy on his birthday as he's made me?! I don't know yet, but I've got about half a year to figure something out.

So what did I get? A trip! Corey sent me to the happiest place on earth. Disney World! The stars aligned in such a way that I got to meet up with my sister in the sunshine state and spend some much needed quality time with her and her family. Corey gave me some unscheduled time with my family. That's a HUGE deal for this chick. Ready for some pictures?
It's a bunny! Okay, not really. It's Briar Rabbit. Every time my sister and I see a bunny of ANY kind we give a little nod to our mother. I couldn't find a better bunny in the parks so ole' B.R. here will just have to do.
I am super, very, happy! Disney is beyond adorable everywhere you look. See my Mickey sticker I'm wearing? That was a gift from my nephew. If you know a kid then you know how important the solemn sticker giving ceremony is. He gave me one of his treasures! Another good thing to note... gorgeous, pin tucked, hand stitched shirts look like crap after a day in the parks. Lesson learned. Sigh.
Here's me so happy I'm ignorant. And there's that expensive shirt looking like crap. Darn it! Still, Cinderella's castle! Weeee! It's all the little touches and hidden Mickeys that make this place so fun. Everywhere I looked I found Alice's cards painted on a floor or mouse ears painted on doorknobs. Do you know there's mice hidden in the rafters of Cindy's castle? I love all the details!
Look who met the mayor! Is he the mayor of just Main Street or does he get the castle to? Does Cinderella throw state dinners or something? Who would give the state of the union address and can you IMAGINE what the assembly would look like? Hmmm...
I really loved this. I popped in a dress shop and found it tucked in a dressing room area. The best part? Birds were chirping over the speakers. So. Stinkin'. Cute!
My favorite ride! It's different now. Disney made a movie based on the ride. The movie was so great they adapted the ride so it's based on the movie based on the ride. Whew! Did ya'll get that? Still, Jack Sparrow and pirates! Fantastic!
And last but not least, meet my new boyfriend. Pirate Goofy! This guy was hysterical. He let me smooch him then he dipped me and flirted for quite a while. Everyone standing around to meet him cracked up when I walked off and he hopped the ropes to follow me. It hit really adorable when another pirate got in the act and dragged him back at sword point, Goofy acted SUPER pitiful and pouted. I seriously LOVE this place!

I have a ton of pictures of me gazing adoringly and my niece and nephew and hugging my sister. Seeing them was the best part of the trip! Seeing my nephew eat ice cream with chocolate Mickey ears... wow. Holding my niece so we could see a show in front of the castle and hearing her gasp when Donald Duck came out... double wow. I actually got all teary a few times just SEEING them. They're gorgeous and they're getting so BIG! I'm never ever ever going to beat this trip. One more time, thank you Handsome! It's already the best birthday week ever!

Megastation

2011-01-25T21:23:00.002-06:00

I want. My MegaStation. Right now please. I bought this thing the first year that Corey and I moved onto our boat. I was ambling around in Sam's and saw this giant thing hanging from the ceiling. The golden glow appeared, the angels sang, and I had this brilliant idea that I NEEDED a MegaStation if I was going to live on a boat. NEEDED it people! It seats six and has two ice chests in it. It's so big it has loading platforms so you can get on the darn thing. How can you live on a boat without that?!
I had some poor, malingered Sam's dude squeezing that thing into the back of the Kia Pet in no time. It weighed, a ton. Was Corey happy with the MegaStation? No he was not. His first experience with it was of me crammed in the Kia Pet and using my legs to push the box out. Once it was (and busted) I grabbed the torn piece and tugged it down the dock. When THAT ripped I pushed it the rest of the way. It's huge, it's heavy, it takes forever to blow up with an air compressor, and it's SO MUCH FUN!!!

The MegaStation has only one design flaw in my eyes. Whoever built this thing decided to use the slip n slide material. It's impossible to get on this thing! Attempt one had me sliding from one side to the other and right off. All other attempts have been graceless, usually resulting in a face plant in the swimming pool net thing. When it's choppy people go sliding all over the place. Pour a little wine on a choppy, slip n slide material, MegaStation kind of day and hilarity ensues. It's fantastic! I've got big ideas for this summer. I want to tie the loading platforms together and secure them to the back of our boat. That way you can SLIDE onto the MegaStation! Someone is definitely going to get hurt. Probably me. Doesn't it sound kind of fun though? A slide onto a raft over 12 feet long... so cool!

Right now my favorite boat toy is languishing in winter storage. It's just waiting for some strong sun and warm breezes. So am I! Come on spring. I want my MegaStation! Hasn't winter been around long enough?

And yes guys, that is me up there in the picture. This was way before heart attack troubles started knocking on my door. Orange bikini, curly hair, ball cap, and khaki shorts. Gillian in her natural environment! All these "before" pictures are kind of odd to look at now. It's like a critter in the zoo. Who WAS that girl?!

A Great Blue Morning

2011-01-24T08:47:00.003-06:00

There are mornings that you just have to take a moment and soak in how lucky you are. I live on a beautiful boat on the southern part of the Great American Loop. My husband and I have jobs that allow us to live and work with all things marine AND we're surrounded by wildlife in their natural environment. It's amazing!

I took my coffee onto my back deck to enjoy the boat rock and avoid my grump-a-saurus of a husband in the morning. The poor guy is unbearable until his caffeine kicks in. After five years of marriage I think it's precious when he's all confused and grumpy but I still keep my distance.

The marina is an estuary for all intents and purposes so when I heard clacking on the dock boards behind me I froze. You never know how a wild animal will react if you startle it. Imagine my suprise when this great blue heron strolled right up and stopped in front of me! My feet were propped on my railing so we were literally toe to toe. I remained frozen while he looked at me with his funny colored eyes for the longest time.

Eventually he ambled away and I ran for my camera. I managed to get this shot for you guys! Look at his face and you can tell I'm starting to piss him off. He's using our docks to fish for his breakfast so I backed up and left him to it. I've got a soft spot for the water birds in my marina. Isn't he gorgeous? Seriously guys, how lucky am I?!

Spatula

2011-01-15T06:00:00.000-06:00

I love my ice chest. If I ever decide to be un-crazy I don't know how I'd live in a "real" house without one. A Diet Coke with this level of frosty goodness can't be achieved without one. Un-crazy, house dwelling people don't have ice chests fully stocked on their back porches. Slightly eccentric, boat dwellers can TOTALLY pull it of. It's just one of the perks. I get a refrigerator AND an ice chest. Go me.

Unfortunately, it's winter and that does pose a tiny problem. I do NOT want to stick my hand in there and fish around for a frosty Diet Coke. When it's blustery and rainy I want to even less. I'm a problem solver at heart and I still want my stuff on ice. Simple solution? Hijack my husbands stuff. His awesome man grill spatula has been commandeered for the season. It's perfect! Problem solved while our level of eccentricity (i.e. "crazy") rises.

By the way, that's definitly my pink North Face sock you see peeking out down there. I still think there needs to be a rule somewhere that says all docks and boats should be no shoe zones. The world would be a much better place!

Just have a cold.

2011-01-07T06:00:00.002-06:00

Home! The Man and I took a lot of time off to travel all around and we were happy to see our cozy boat in our pretty marina. It's nice to get back to work you enjoy and your own routine. Am I right?

I woke up after ONE day back at work to a runny, sneezy nose. "Ugh. Nose! What the hell are you doing?!?"
"Ha ha! I'm going to ruin your Christmas!" I had a cold. After practically being chased out of the office with a can of Lysol I was parked on the sofa and pouting. Stinkin' great. That's okay though. I'm prepared this time!

The last time I got sick I had a narrow miss with a hospital bed(You're not putting me in there!) and I got needles up my nose. Heads up heart buddies. Runny nose + blood thinners = nosebleeds. DON'T blow your nose. It's a super bad idea. Trust me on this.

The awful, miserable, crappy truth is if you're any kind of heart patient like me you're going to JUST have a cold. There's not a lot of treating and medicating you can do. I didn't know this the last time and took my regular dose (a ton) of decongestants. That cranked up my blood pressure, I felt worse, then I almost landed in the hospital. Admitting my stupidity was one of the only things that kept me out.

This time around I called my doctor and got approved to take Coricidin. It's built for us heart people once they tell you you can have it. There's no decongestants or fever reducers in there to tinker with your blood pressure or mess with your medication. By the second day of the Coricidin treatment the only good it could have done me is if I'd punted the box across the room. THAT might have felt good. It's not that the stuff doesn't work, it's that the "good" stuff works BETTER! So long Nyquil. It was fun while it lasted.

I also went the homeopathic route. Shower Soothers that turned my shower into a giant cough drop, saline nose spray, Vicks Kleenex (I love you so much!), vitamin C, and comfort food. My fever treatment was frozen yogurt and my sleep aid was called sleep when you can.

The Man and I did spend our Christmas laying low but we both recovered. HE got NyQuil, the lucky duck. We're both back at work and feeling froggy so I'm no worse for wear for missing out on the "good" stuff. The fact that I listened to the doctors this time and avoided all scary complications just proves it worked! Just have a cold... imagine that!

Sorry Guys!

2011-01-06T10:29:00.009-06:00

I'm an awful, mean, selfish blogger. Winter living on a boat, a really cool job, a husband, and holiday traveling made me put off my blog. Add in a narcissistic cat, heart maintenance, and all the other "stuff" and BAD me. Very bad blogger. I'm so sorry if you worried guys. I'm alive, healthy, and very happy. Promise! I've also been storing up posts in my handy dandy notebook given to me as a Christmas present. The giver was more astute than I as I didn't realise it's value until I had 10 pages of potential posts. So thank you!

I know, you're still mad. Would it help if I told you where I was for a bit?

Maybe?

No?

Well fine then. I'm going to tell you anyway as it was AWESOME! My husband and I ventured north to visit his family for the holidays. Twice! November and December were spent traveling all over Oklahoma, Ohio, and Kentucky.

I know what you're thinking. Awesome? This? It's great, sure. But awesome? Well yes it was. The Man and I are cruising towards our 6th year married and our 10th year together. We've made several trips north and I have never, ever, seen real snow.

This last trip was snow covered! Finally! I'm giving you some pictures to make up for not posting so forgive me okay?

Check out the Kia Pet! She's covered! I have never in my life seen anything like this.

Check me out in my pink pea coat! I'm standing on a frozen pond! This cracked up my husband because I'd been having a bit of trouble walking in the snow. Where's the ground?!? I spent a considerable amount of time picking through it like I was about to fall in a sinkhole. I've seen too many movies. To my poor, overstimulated brain Ice= solid. Snow= sneaky. After about busting my "yass" because of this error Corey grabbed my hand and hauled me off right after this was taken. Smart man.

Here I am having trouble walking. Sneaky snow. It's hiding the grass. Yes, this is embarrassing being caught in the act. Let's be fair though blogger friends. I was born in New Orleans. That means veeery southern. Sweet tea and crawfish southern. Living on a boat southern. I'm like a magnolia in the freezer here. Again, I was rescued by Corey after he finished laughing at me.

That's me at the top. I'm sliding down a hill in some borrowed snow pants. I now love snow pants. Us southern people don't recognize their value. I also love hills. This is the day I got my first sled ride, my first 4 wheeler ride in the snow, and my first deep snow trek. There were snowballs in there somewhere and one faceplant to go along with this not-so-graceful booty slide.

Finally, me freezing. I didn't want to go in though! In this picture I'm wearing so many layers of clothes I had a hard time bending my knees. Why? You heart buddies know. Cold weather stresses your heart. As I've never dealt with this level before I had to be careful. Lots of gear and short trips outside with plenty of warm up time in between. I kept my nitro in my pocket just in case but I'm happy to announce I didn't need it once.

And last but not least... we did so many things and saw so many people. Why aren't they in this post? Because it would be rude. I didn't ask permission and they don't know you guys (and how fabulous you are) like I do. :) It's just not fair to post pictures on "the internets" without expressed consent. There's that southern thing again. Take my word on it though. We had a blast!

Awkward moments.

2010-11-02T21:42:00.004-05:00

Do you ever wish you could have a conversation with your brain and warn it that an awkward moment was about to happen? "Excuse me brain but your body is about to commit an epic fail if you don't wake the hell up!" You know, something like that. I had an awkward moment at work this week. While it's not that interesting, for some random, meaningless reason it triggered a childhood memory. Go figure.

When I was mini Gillian my mother took me to New Orleans for some quality "girl time." A chocolate, ice cream, toy covered afternoon of awesomeness (I didn't forget THAT part!) was had in the French Quarter. Mom was amazing. The woman cornered the market for decadent, memory making, fun.

For some odd reason that involved finding lunch, Mom found herself carting mini Gillian down Bourbon Street in the middle of the afternoon. I have no idea how we got there but I remember seeing two legs poking out the side of a building.

O_O

I had spotted a strip club. Does mini Gillian know what that is? Nope, didn't. Mini Gillian unleashed a rapid fire list of questions about those legs. Mom dodged, I countered and pressed. And that how I got the "sex talk" standing directly under the mechanical, swinging legs of Big Daddy's on Bourbon Street. Epic. Fail.

Could I have just avoided that torture altogether? Sure could! Did I just shut my mouth and kept on trucking down the street after my mother? Sure didn't. I just haaad to ask questions didn't I? I walked right into that one didn't I? Okay Brain, where were you THEN huh?!?

An evil that must be named.

2010-10-25T20:55:00.003-05:00

I would like to introduce you to something so awful, so heinous, so wrong that it must be named. Behold, the slug of shame. The slug of SHAME! Yeah, see the head turn? The slug knows what he's done. Bad kitty!!! What did the slug do to be banished to the back deck? Evil, nasty, terrible things. Chuck... is-a-murderer. A serial killer no less.

Exhibit #1 - A rainy Sunday. Corey spots Chuck's face pressed to our door. He's holding a rat and wants in! Corey thinks this is funny. He calls me over to see. Chuck inches closer and starts crying around the nasty cargo in his mouth. I flip out. Chuck gets startled. Drops rat. It RUNS OFF! Corey thinks this is not funny. Chuck = slug of shame. Corey = all afternoon pulling up hatches (in the rain) looking for a half mangled critter loose on a boat. Huh? Huh? What's funny NOW Corey?

Exhibit #2 - Chuck is a thief. Some random guy was throwing a cast net. Catches fish. Becomes a happy fisherman. Chuck darts it, steals biggest fish, then runs away. He drags it all the way through the marina so it's nice and mangled. I hear a big thump and get creeped out. I investigate. While barefoot, I step on large mangled fish. It gets pitched overboard and I get a shower. Later, I am confronted by the fisherman. He is angry and calls Chuck a thief. I have no idea how to compensate for a fish (that I stepped on) so all I can do is suffer through an extremely awkward moment until he shuffles off. I'm pissed. At Chuck.

Exhibit #3 - I come home from work and discover a tiny, dead barn swallow. Chuck is extremely proud of himself. Barn swallows are some of my favorite birds and I've happily watched nests of them all summer. There's sadness, snot, and tears. You go too far Chuck! Corey comes home to remove the bird and deal with the sadness, snot, and tears. Now Corey is not happy. Chuck morphs into slug of shame.

Now Chuck is sick with a severe sinus infection. Revenge! Poor Corey and I get to cram 4 pills a day, twice daily, down his pissed off face. This is LOVE Chuck! You know, like the gifts. Don't pets make life fun?

It's amazing what sleep will do to you.

2010-10-24T15:51:00.004-05:00

Too much work and stuff to do, never enough sleep. By the time Friday rolls around I'm exhausted, jittery with caffeine overload, and daunted with the mountain of stuff I've let slide during the work week. The kicker is that I LOVE my job and have a hard time leaving. I love the boats, the boat stuff, the people, and the challenge. Why would anyone complain about that?!? This is definitely one of the coolest jobs ever in the history of cool jobs. So why am I so tired?

Yeah, I don't get it either. Fatigue is the biggest stinker of heart disease in my book. I keep waking up thinking today is the day I won't be so tired and every morning I'm proven wrong. Patience is NOT a virtue I can claim. Stubborn is though, so I keep plugging on waiting for the un-tired day. It's GOING to happen!

This Friday was double rough so I came home and just quit. I took Stripey Chuck and hit the the bed by 6:30. Most. Epic. Sleep. Ever. I didn't wake up till 9am! I shuffled out and encountered a bag of jelly beans on the counter. Now a heart buddy that shall remain unnamed told me that jelly beans were the healthiest candy. I ran out and bought a bag of peach and pear Jelly Belly's then immediately forgot I'd done it. Typical Gillian behavior I assure you. While I searched for a Diet Coke I randomly decided to eat them. Cracked. Out. There should be a law against people that don't eat sugar eating large amounts of it first thing in the morning.

Hey! You know what would be cool? I want a haircut! My facebook friends said it was okay! My snap decision led to an appointment 30 minutes later. Woot! 10:30 am and in the chair! It's adorable if I do say so myself. :)

Since this decision worked out so well I called the local consignment store. I'd dropped off a ton of stuff but had been too tired to drop by and check my balance. It was huge! FREE SHOPPING!!! I could almost hear my mind spiral into crazy when I arrived and walked into a 75% off sale. I don't know what to tell you here. A pink pea coat was involved and a Tiffany necklace was spotted. I left with both and a very warm fuzzy feeling for shopping on imaginary money. Huh. Drop off high heels and big jeans... get Tiffany necklace. Fab-u-lous!!!

Crazy Gillian took over at this point and decided that life would be a terrible waste if pepper chicken and lo mien was not acquired. After my first Chinese food foray in many months I stopped by Daylight Doughnuts and Little Ceasars to buy Corey some goodies to. You know, because THAT made a lot of sense. One nap later I was still cracked out. I pestered Corey by following him around and chattering about random things like jelly beans and birds. Being the amazingly resilient guy that he is he tolerated my crazy behavior until it became obvious that I wasn't going to quit. He told me to go inside and play on the computer until I calmed down.

Pouting, I ate the crazy bread. ALL of the crazy bread. Corey busted me just in time to tell me I was stoned on sugar and I was going to hurk if I didn't quit. Spurned on by huge amounts of sleep and sugar I didn't listen and ate a doughnut just to spite him.

Bet you can figure out what happened. Corey was right and hurking was involved. Dang it. I spent Saturday night rolling around feeling like I swallowed a brick and making pitiful sounds. Corey and Chuck weren't very sympathetic. Those stinkers acted like I DESERVED this or something!

Sunday was spent chewing Pepto tabs and laying around nursing the brick. NO more sugar. That stuff is the devil. Word to the wise heart buddies. Treats are about moderation! Dang it, I should have stopped at the Tiffany necklace but noooo, I didn't do something intelligent like that. Keep to the healthy diet and reap the rewards. I promise your belly will thank you. How do people EAT that stuff?!? Don't they feel sick? I didn't make it 24 hours! Huh, thinking about it, I'm happy with my lesson and my healthy eating habits. I'd never survive in the nasty food jungle.

Beware of the no parent friends!

2010-10-17T06:00:00.005-05:00

Corey and I aren't parents and have no idea how to act around little kids. Sure, we know not to use foul language or set bad examples. It's all the little stuff that gets us in trouble! Who knew that potty training was such a big deal and lip gloss was forbidden? Not I! I'll admit it, we have NO IDEA what to do with a kid!

Halloween is right around the corner. I have the cutest niece and nephew in the world so I decide to spoil them a little. A box! Mail them a box! Off I go on a kid stuff hunt. Some books? Sure. Some toys? Just one each? What about a t shirt? Yup, he needs it. Silly Bandz??? Don't ALL kids like those? Now a marshmallow pickled head, tons of candy, candy jewelry, and lollipops the size of my hand. Huge! Look at all this loot! I pitched in some Halloween safety flashlights and blinky necklaces just to prove to my sister I know what I'm about. See? Now it's a SAFETY Halloween box. There's that good example I was talking about.

I cart all my WalMart bags into the UPS Store maniacally excited about shipping this stuff off. After the box was COVERED in packing peanuts and I was $25.00 poorer for the shipping it started. Maybe...this...wasn't smart. Oh good lord, I just shipped a ton of sugar and packing peanuts to my sister!!! Surely she's policing two adorable, overstimulated, holiday time kiddies and WHAT do I do? Ship sticky stuff to her front door. I call her in a slight panic and confess all. PLEASE don't kill me. Or think I'm a bad aunt. I just have no idea how to act. I screwed up so intercept that package and forgive your sister that doesn't know better!!!

Well that phone call was yesterday and do you think I learned anything? Nope! My little 6 year old friend Allie came over with her daddy. While Corey and his bud are outside I snag Allie to hang out. Who else can I convince to watch my new Beauty and the Beast DVD with me?!? I make popcorn then leave a bowl of chocolate out. By the time her dad checked on her we were exploding marshmallows in the microwave. This is NOT setting a good example. It's not entirely my fault though. I was lulled into anarchy by this cute drawing she gave me. Look how she spelled my name wrong!On a paper plate! Cuuute!!! You parents get kid gifts like this all the time so you're numb to their powers. I NEVER get kid drawings so I can't resist. Allie's adorable nature and cute pictures made me lose my head. We dropped Red Hots in our water bottles to watch them turn pink and then I spoiled her dinner with ice cream. Yes, that's on top of the chocolate, popcorn, and marshmallows. We had a blast!

I am the Antichrist of good parenting. My sister is getting a box of mayhem and Allie is practically pinging off the walls with her Disney infused sugar rush. All in the same weekend. I'm hopeless. :(

Update: Late last night I noticed something funny on Corey's hand. He was out cold and the lights were off so I had to look close to make it out. A L L I E. She Sharpie'd my husband. 6 year olds are adorable! I'm thinking Corey gets major points to... just for being the sweet, tolerant, big bear of a guy that would let a little blond girl color on him. I married SUCH a keeper!

Chuck's Day

2010-10-16T07:38:00.016-05:00

I'm pretty much convinced that Chuck is some kind of mutant hybrid of a stuffed animal. He has attachment issues, and sleep issues, and food issues. Yup, all three. Behold the photograph evidence...

After sleeping inside all night with me and Corey he follows me to work in the morning crying plaintively if I walk too fast. Kitty. Stalker.

While I'm opening the office and starting my day Chuck is getting in his 5 minutes of kitty cardio. That means destroying my plants and skidding around under the furniture. "I'm going to get you imaginary mouse!!!"

Chuck will then forget he ate breakfast at home and eat a bowl full of his office supply. The food coma sets in and he's down. So fat... can't get... arm down. :(

Eventually he will start feeling better so he'll decide to make it his mission to be wherever I am. Behold his mad balancing skills and multitasking. He's on my post-its and computer mouse all while sleeping on a corner.

This will start to irritate me so I'll gently push him aside. I'm BUSY here! Eventually I'll get offended that my subtle hints aren't working so I just pile random office stuff on him. He doesn't notice.

By mid afternoon he's obnoxious in his attention getting tactics so he's booted outside. Chuck takes this in stride and pouts off road style. Sigh, banished to kitty jail.

If I leave the marina for any reason I will return to this. Half a Chuck. This is his desperate plea for more food, my Snuggie, and someone to pet him.

If the Half A Chuck pose doesn't work he will then start rolling around on the deck and crying pitifully. This is his attempt at a kitty art pose. Instead of being impressed I notice that Chuck has no pants. Why sleeves and no pants? Dude... you're naked!

I'll feed him and play with him until he decides to run off and do whatever cats do at night. If he's not back by sundown I start to worry about my adopted stuffed animal and plead with Corey to go find him. Instead, Chuck will eventually find Corey and chase him down while crying plaintively. Refer to picture 1. Corey will then thrill Chuck by doing one of his favorite things. Cart him around. I have never seen a cat so happy to be carried in any fashion. He likes Corey best for this because Corey does the "kitty fireman carry" maneuver. They're good buds.

Once he's in for the night he'll check out his food situation and conquer my Snuggie. I've tried balling it up but that doesn't work. He'll just sleep in odd positions on top of it. "Silly Gillian. Did you think this Snuggie was for you?" Insert evil kitty chuckle.

I'll give up on the Snuggie and go to bed. Chuck always gets alarmed by this and I have no idea why. You're IN dude! No one is going to kick you out. Chill! Apparently Chuck thinks this is time to show off his stuffed animal genes. He'll cram himself right up against me to go to sleep. If I move he'll just wiggle closer. Corey and I have discovered the hard way that you have to proceed with caution. This is Chuck's cuteness secret weapon! By 3:00 am Chuck has half a bed, I'm stuck smack dab in the middle, and poor Corey is about to fall off. Corey and I have to team up like superheros to stop his bid for total bed domination. Every. Night.

I need to point that Chuck ISN'T MY CAT! He's lived in this marina for 12 years. Chuck has adopted me and Corey and that's the way it stays. He sure does add something extra special to marina life though. Live on a boat in a beautiful marina, have a fun and quirky life, get adopted by the world's coolest cat. Seriously though... isn't he cute?

When life hands you a heart attack, make a blog.

2010-10-11T21:21:00.003-05:00

I saw this display in the local toy store window recently. Isn't it great? Life isn't always fair but it's the approach you take that makes it worth it. I'm tired right now and grumpy. Stressed, and just plain worn out. I can't do anything about that right now but you know what I can do? I bought a Snuggie. That's right, an honest to goodness Snuggie. I may not be able to fix the tired at a pace I'd like but I CAN curl up and snuggle in my Snuggie. I get bonus points for cracking up my husband with my Snugginess. "Look! I'm in a Snuggie! Hug me! Hug the Snuggie Corey! Hug it!"

Yeah I know, I'm an idiot. I have a heart attack and started a blog. I feel bad, I buy the world's most cheesy invention. It's a process people. One good thing for one bad. Kind of my grown up version of a kid's sick present. You're reading my coloring book and action figures. If it keeps me happy and occupied it's doing it's job right?

Here's another random funny for you. I know my last post wasn't that fun so here's some behind the scenes info. My doctor handed me those photos while I was being discharged. He's pointing out the serious nature of my heart and it's miraculous recovery thanks to his capable hands. How do I respond?
"Jeez! Is that my spine?!? Yeah? How does that look? Good? Cool." Also...while medicated up to my eyeballs and not quite with it yet...
"My heart looks fat in the After picture. Fat heart. I have a skinny heart? Huh. It'll fit right in then. Someone should have sent it the skinny memo."
My doctor is awesome for putting up with me. To be fair, I've never seen an x-ray of myself, never been in the hospital, and never been "doped" with those crazy things they actually call medication. That means I was overstimulated, interested, and stoned. The whole big picture thing took a while to sink in. The random small stuff? Oh I was aaalll over that. I wish I'd bought the Snuggie then! I could have rehabbed with a Snuggie. Darn it, why didn't I think of that?!?

The Widowmaker. This is what a heart attack looks like.

2010-10-10T09:18:00.007-05:00

I got my first sad email last week. A person that had read my blog and corresponded with me before had a second "event." He's alive, and will be starting his second round of cardiac rehab soon. What's sad is that he KNEW he was having problems and didn't go get it checked
out. He didn't go to the hospital. Do you guys know what happened? Do you understand? Permanent, irreversible heart damage. He's never going to get better and he's going to die... much sooner than he should. After a few emails and a virtual hug of goodwill to my heart buddy I made him a promise. Full disclosure. Let's shine a harsh light on heart disease. This is exactly what a heart attack looks like.

The only editing I did to these pictures was to crop out my personal information. That's right guys, this is my very own heart. Let's take a deep, bracing breath and continue shall we? Look at the top image. That is my heart during a massive LAD heart attack. See the faint circle around the LAD that says Before? That's where my heart was failing. That's the blockage. See what's beneath it? You can see all the veins starving. That's my heart being strangled and starting to die. The whole thing looks wilted doesn't it? Now look at the bottom part of the picture. In a short bit of time I'd had a balloon angioplasty and a shot of nitroglycerin directly into my heart. Didn't work. Go big or go home right? This After picture was taken after I got my stent. Just LOOK at the difference guys. See how everything lights up? Notice the thickness of the LAD in the before and after. The difference is amazing! Notice the bloom of blood vessels that you couldn't see before underneath the blockage. That's my heart plumping back up and acting like it should.

These pictures were really hard for me to post so I really want you to look. Ask yourself this... Would you REALLY stay home and try to tough it out if you could see this? Does this look normal to you? Meet the Widowmaker. How do you think the LAD got that name? You don't stay home and tough out a Widowmaker attack. It's Death. The before picture could have been a swift end to my short life. It's a dying heart. What saved my life? I got help. I called for help and my husband saved my life. He made the calls and got me to the hospital. If I had stayed home I never would have woken up. This diagram was made by my cardiologist. There's my blockage. It qualifies as massive because my Widowmaker was little to begin with (I didn't know that.) and the blockage closed to 95%. Again, I cropped out the personal data but left all the grisly stuff for you guys to see.

After a year of tests we think we've narrowed down the cause. There appears to be a small kink in an already narrow Widowmaker. We think it's either a birth defect or a lesion caused by a childhood illness. As I got older plaque built up, I got stressed, and a heart spasm squeezed the plaque covered walls together sealing off the Widowmaker. A heart attack at 30. Go figure. I'll never know for sure because the stent is fixing the damage.

Now look at the poorly drawn little heart on the top left of the diagram. It says 40%. I had a swift response time and had surgery immediately to fix the blockage. After it was done? I had 40% of a working heart. Give me a break here. I'd had a rough day! All the tinkering on top of the attack leads to a stunned heart. I wasn't performing at my best. This is why you get tired and it's the source of heart attack fatigue. With just 40% of a heart working there's no way you're getting enough oxygen. Imagine powering your body with only half a heart. It's miserable guys. It took a year (And a lot of work.) but I'm fine now.

So there you go! This isn't a fun or funny post but I hope it serves it's purpose and fulfills my promise. I endeavored for full disclosure and you got it. I really want you guys to look long and hard at what a heart attack looks like. This is a Widowmaker. This is a blockage in a LAD. This is the leading cause of death. Go ahead and look at it. This is, or was, my heart guys.Look at these pictures and know this. I ignored all the warning signs and I paid a high price for my stupidity. I forced my frantic husband to literally carry me into an ER. I scared my family and made them endure the agony that is the surgical ICU waiting room. As for me, I had a slow, painful recovery, a boatload of expensive medication, and cardiac rehab. All while experiencing the joys of heart attack fatigue and angina.

Would you wait with this for treatment? You don't fight this and you can't wish it away. Please, please hear me and my friend when I tell you this. There is NO minor reason for chest pain. There is NEVER a time when it's okay. Felt a sharp pain and it faded? Call 911. RUN to the doctor. Please go get it checked. Get the blood work done. Know your blood pressure and treat it if you must. My friend wants you to learn from his mistakes and I hope you do. Scroll back up and look again. Would you wait? I really, really hope not. Make me proud guys and take care of yourselves!

So much for karma...

2010-09-30T16:04:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting on my back deck and enjoying some afternoon sunshine. Minding my OWN business I might add. A bug comes up with a stinger butt and I decide to practice my new inner calm and ignore it. Little stresses don't matter, the bug deserves to be there, it's not interested in me, yada yada yada. I serenely watch as it buzzes off and give myself a mental pat on the back.

OWWW! It stung me! That little 'effer snuck up behind me and nailed me right on the back! This is no small thing I tell you. It's an alligator tear inducing, hot poker feeling, sleep tossing ouch. That little punk. Bully. I hope it's one of those bugs that dies after it sticks you. That MIGHT make me feel better about having a sting right on my waistline.

Now here's the thing... If I had flipped out, screeching at the top of my lungs would it have stung me? If I'd scampered away and made Corey go on a bug hunt would I be sporting this fabulous whelp? Either way, a relaxing afternoon it wasn't.

Celebrate Tuesday at Middle Bay Light!

2010-09-28T20:27:00.010-05:00

Pictures, pictures. pictures! There's lots for you to look at in today's post! Guys, I had a BLAST last night! The minute I was off work I was booking it across those dock boards. Date night! Corey did his man thing and installed a new water pump. Yay! Why am I so excited about a water pump? When you get a new integral part of your engine replaced you get a sea trial. I got a boat ride with my favorite person in my favorite place. Mobile Bay. Isn't it beautiful? We're off! She ran like a dream guys. With lots of love and care (and parts!) she runs like the well oiled machine she is. She plows through the water powered by two Detroit Diesel engines for work horses. She may growl like a lion but she acts like a lady. Not one complaint! See my ridiculously happy husband? He's proud of his work! He finally got to let her loose! This is him kicking it up a notch and testing her out. Can't you just see the happy vibes he's radiating right now?Okay fine, maybe not. You sure can on me though! I'm thrilled with our girl! Cheese grin! We're going WEST!!! What's west? Just my favorite place in Mobile Bay...
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Middle Bay Light! Isn't it beautiful? It's a tiny lighthouse that used to mark the mid point of the Mobile ship channel. See her flat top? It wasn't always like that. I get a happy shiver just thinking about this... Middle Bay housed an honest to goodness Fresnel lens. Wow. Big, big wow. A Fresnel lens is rare now and they're works of art. I can't believe we used to have one! Check out what Middle Bay used to look like when she had her lens. Gorgeous!It's like a candle on a cake. Perfect. I'm glad she lost her lens before my time. It must have been a heartbreaker to see it go. If you want, you can read some of the beautiful, interesting, funny, and sad history that I'm so addicted to here.We stayed as long as we could then raced the sun home. Of course, just to cap off a perfect boat ride, we spotted dolphins! I tried to catch a shot for you but they're squirrely suckers. I did get a shot of our sunset by accident though so that will just have to do. All in all, Corey had a blast, I had a blast, and the dolphins did to chasing us home. The only grumpy Gus?
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.Someone got left on the dock! Chuck's spot on MY side of the bed, on MY happy color quilt, left with the boat. Just look at the pissed off level of "cattitude" he putting out! He was quick to claim it and didn't budge the rest of the night. Poor old man. :(

Well that's it! This was a monster of a blog post! A blo-ster! Visit the links and I hope you liked my pictures! See you guys next time!

Everybody's got something.

2010-09-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

Bug! BUG!!! There's a bug in the boat!!! COREY! Getitgetitgetit! Yeah, yeah. I know. We all have something right? If there's one thing that totally flips me out it's a cockroach. The definition of a phobia is an irrational fear. While I know it's ignorant, I'm so scared of the nasty things that I can't even get close enough to kill them. See? I told you it was irrational.

Bugs are an unfortunate part of marinas in the fall. They all seem to pop up with the weather change. One minute you're having a perfectly good evening and the next you've abandoned ship because a cockroach is FLYING around the living room. Poor Corey. I cower on the dock, refusing to set foot on the boat until he goes in and kills it. The worst part? He really doesn't have a choice. Here's why...

One night Corey and I were snuggled up in bed when I spotted a cockroach creeping around. This presented a rather big problem. There's no way I'm going to sleep with that critter inside. Do I disturb my slumbering husband? Nope. I grabbed a can of Raid and tried to sneak up on it. I sprayed it, it charged me, I panicked and held down the trigger. I literally finished off the can of bugspray. That sucker was snow white and d.e.a.d. Victory! Not really. I gassed out the boat. Corey woke up coughing to find his wild eyed wife clutching a can of Raid and crouched on a counter. Not my finest moment. We both ended up outside coughing and red eyed. Corey briefly braved the fumes to retrieve the dead bug and open the hatches. The poor man doesn't stand a chance.

Because of this little eccentricity of mine we have the unbuggiest boat in the marina. I've spent the past two days waging chemical warfare against, well, nothing. Every line, deck, hatch, and overhang is treated. Heck, I sprayed the dock to. Juuust to be sure. The only way the thing has a chance is to fly on. If it makes it past my chemical defenses it gets to go a round with the Heart Nazi. He's rather go a round with it then with me anyway. :)

Note - Yes, boat people, I know. It's a salon. Boats have salons. Well this is my boat so I can call it my living room on my very own blog. I promise the next time a bug zooms around it I'll cower in my stateroom, not my bedroom. :)

Aw!!!

2010-09-27T06:00:00.002-05:00

Aww!!! Look what I got! Chuck's original daddy sent me an amazing goodie on facebook. Baby Chuck! I got a picture of Baby Chuck! He's precious!!! That's him and his sister Jezebelle. The Chuck Chuck kitty kitty is the one on top. Look at those itty white boots! Those too big ears! This just makes me happy. -Bring on the big silly grin and happy dance!-

He's like a little Yoda sitting there! "Precious, he is. But...there is another." Can I just add that Baby Jezebelle isn't too bad herself? It's cutsie overload! A twofer! Well that's it for today. Enjoy! It sure made my morning!

A Disaster!!!

2010-09-23T20:12:00.000-05:00

My Heart Nazi's attitude meter is set on grumpy. It's been a long week and we're tired. We're not mad at each other or anything, just restless and grumpified. Fall fever has led to a case of the sulks. Super Gillian to the rescue! Rather than deal with stoic, sullen Corey I head out to find a "happy." See, Corey's got himself a man grill and Publix has a meat sale. The two were meant for each other don't you think? Well I did. I came home with two of the biggest tbones I could find. I had visions for Corey happily making man noises over his fire and enjoying a nice dinner.

To bad I had to ruin it. See this bottle? It's death with a cute little cap. Hottest. Stuff. Ever. Those beautiful steaks were ruined I tell you, RUINED! It was like eating beautifully cooked, medium rare, fire. Misery on a plate. Look at the name though! It's PERFECT! As in Hip-hip ARRGGHHH! Hip-hip ARRGGHH! Pirates are funny.As I don't eat mammals poor Corey was left to sweat it out on his own. I had a grilled cheese on wheat.

Okay guys I've committed some kind of chick sin right? Is this some kind of epic level of girl dumb? I destroyed a cow's butt. What's the penance for that? Buy more cow butt? Ideas? Anybody? By the way, if I didn't feel so bad this would be rife with fun one liners! The Pirate's booty made bad bootie! Yeeeah. Anyway. I feel too guilty. Have at it, my expense. I deserve it!

I'm melting!

2010-09-22T06:00:00.003-05:00

So I had a bad day. I love, love, love my job but yesterday was TOUGH. One frozen iPhone and a mountain of problems didn't deter my computer from having an attitude. Great. After crawling under my desk to fix it I seriously considered just staying down there. It'd be like the Wizard of Oz. Sorry, there's nothing left but the desk and my beloved Michael Kors wedges sticking out. I'm hiding. Sassy footwear aside, I took my pounding head home hoping a rocking boat in a beautiful marina would soothe away the rough edges. It did, just like it always does.

Chuck came in and settled himself right beside me on the sofa. I'm busy regaling Corey with my day's misadventures when I produce this little nugget of Gillian wisdom. "I love Chuck. He knows just when he's needed. Look at his cute stripes. Like a zen garden. I'm petting a fuzzy, soothing, zen garden."

My zen garden chooses this exact moment to audibly fart. ON me. Amidst the green stink cloud and my high pitched protests my husband happily sat, laughing his fool head off. Yeah, yeah. I know. It's funny huh? Go ahead and laugh why don't ya. I'm cutting my losses, getting into some jammies, and heading to bed. Here's hoping tomorrow is stress and stink free!

Coronary Bypass Surgery on Wikipedia

2010-09-21T06:00:00.001-05:00

Most. Awful. Thing. Ever. I'm warning you, don't look. I've been hearing some murmurs and talking to people just to scamper home and do my own Google searches. Here's an interesting heart nugget. Stents aren't built to last. They're like boob jobs. Occasionally you need a redo. Crap.

Now don't panic. This isn't ALWAYS the case. Lots of people will keep their stents for their entire lives. Lots won't though. You may tick along just fine or you may need a "tune up." There are lots of reasons why. They may clog back up or they may get old as your heart gets older. They just plan may not work for some people. It's a stinker but it's the truth.

So what's the tune up? How do you fix a broken stent? Can you remove a stent? Yes, it's fixable. No, you can't remove a stent. At least not how you think. For someone my age, steps will very likely be needed. As I get older, so will my stent. Eventually I'm going to need some help. That help comes with the name Coronary Bypass Surgery. Scary huh?

It can be. It's open heart surgery. A vein is taken from somewhere else in your body and sewn into your heart. The new piece acts like a graft and the blood moves through it instead of the sick part. It's like taking a detour around road construction. The stent is now useless. The blood goes around now, not through. Wiki has some great info on the procedure. Go here.
The info is clear, concise, and scary as heck. It's wince inducing. Please sweet baby Jesus don't picture my face, or yours, or anyone you know when you read it. If you do you're a darn crazy fool and you'll get all worked up. Chill. It's just a wiki link. It IS the worst wiki link I've ever seen but I warned you. Go forth and Google if you must. Let's start with the stuff that makes me squeegy. It's likely they'll go through my sternum. Yikes. There's a chance my heart may be stopped for the surgery. Double yikes. The list of complications is long and extremely squeegy feeling. There's also a dizzying array of methods so you never really know what to look forward to. Apparently it's surgeon's choice. You know, like lunch. Huh. Now the good news shall we?

I'm not going to need this for quite a while. If a chick can keep the same fake boobs for over a decade I'm thinking my tiny metal spot should last at least 15 years. At. Least. Complications and fear aside, I'll likely be feeling pretty sick by then. Bypass surgery is a major pick me up. A new lease on life. Again! That would make me double blessed. My heart would be twice held and twice saved so that would be wonderful in my book. Something else to make you feel good? Bypasses are done all the time. Every darn day in fact. I may have to lay on another table eventually but the odds of me walking out are very high.

See? Nothing to be scared of. It may not be fun, it may not be glamorous, but it's just part of it. The price you pay for playing I guess. Scared? Yes. Optimistic? You betcha.

Side note - Was the wiki picture reeealy necessary?!? Who's bright idea was THAT? Where's the nice, impersonal diagram?!? Jeez. Gross Wiki, gross. Thanks a stinkin' lot. Ugh!

I go to Publix WAY to much.

2010-09-20T06:18:00.001-05:00

Every once in a while the clouds part, the sun peeks through, and you get a goodie for no apparent reason. It may not be a big goodie but it still makes you smile and brightens your day. Lookit what I got! It's fab-u-lous!

I pop into Publix several times a week. When I was riddled with bruises and needle marks (and hard to look at even to me) the deli guy took his lunch break to walk me around the entire store. He pointed out the heart healthy items, explained the low sodium benefits, and even helped me check out. All of this and he never once made me feel bad. There I am doing my best impression of Skeletor and he's extolling the benefits of a high protein diet and pushing my cart around. This guy's momma raised him right! When I felt better I made a beeline to the manager's desk to sing his praises. I made his day but he made a bad situation just a little better. He deserved a big thank you. People don't get recognised enough these days you know?

The bakery lady sneaks me a cookie when I buy my whole wheat bread and urges me to "have fun with the little things" in life. All of the check out people know me and I ask about their families. These people are NICE! Case in point...

"Hey! There's that nice lady with the freckles!" Yes, I'm an idiot but I actually looked behind me. I'm motioned over and presented with THIS! Yum! They gave me a cake! Someone's flavor mix up along with a closing bakery led to my chocolaty windfall! Ah, frosted chocolate baked goods. It's been too long my friend.I love Publix. I really, really do. The best roses are frosted ones after all! This is my breakfast today y'all! Don't judge. You know you want a piece!

Here's your assignment for the day. Give a "cake" to someone. Go be nice. Know anyone that really needs lunch or a small iTunes gift card? Find a manager and praise someone. Send a handwritten card. You may make someone's day but you'll be the one smiling!