Heather Feather ASMR

Artwork For The Launch Of My Upcoming Twitch Channel

2015-11-03T16:29:00.001-08:00

I plan on launching my Twitch channel after New Years so that I can play games and chat with you guys in a more personal way when I am not making vids to conk you out. I asked Tristan Grindrod if he would create some art for my Twitch channel, and he created these...I am blown away. I feel so grateful that he shared his work with me and made not only beautiful work, but art that is so personal to my channel so that I can marry my ASMR channel and gaming. He is currently taking on commissions, so if you are interested in getting a beautiful present for yourself, friends, family, or even your own channels, you can find him here: Tristan Grindrod Art And Illustration

Thank you, James Horner

2015-06-22T21:51:00.001-07:00

The news about James Horner hit me pretty hard. I didn't know him, but he's always been one of my favorite composers (even when I was little), and his music has been a part of my life and memories. His music is forever tied to my childhood and growing up. When we watch movies, a lot of our feelings come from the music that accompanies the scenes. James Horner knew how to make scenes unforgettable. He knew how to skewer you in the heart with sadness or elation. His music has defined some of the most memorable movies of our time. He has done so much work, and all of it is worth mention, but I thought I would do my tiny part in honoring him by sharing my favorite scores from my journey to adulthood that James Horner created. These are the soundtracks of my life (and I am sure many of yours as well).

The Land Before Time:

"Mooootheeeeer!" "Littlefoot, do you remember the way to the Great Valley? I'll always be with you, even if you can't see me." :'(

Balto:

"A dog can't make the journey alone, but maybe...a wolf can."

Titanic:

"I'll never let go."

Braveheart

"FREEEEDOOOM"

Casper

"Can I keep you?"

Willow

"You ARE great!"

Fievel Goes West:

"Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight, someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight."

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHISPERY

2015-05-14T08:40:00.000-07:00

A while back, Dan Bull messaged Ally and I with an ASMR rap battle proposition. We were so on board because we're fans of Dan, and because we thought it would be really funny to whisper battle. Dan wrote all the lyrics based on our content, and we got to poke fun at ourselves---and at the tendency for some to try and pit us (and other ASMR content creators) against each other in the ASMR sphere, when we're actually great friends. We laughed so much working on this project.

You'll notice that our delivery is quiet and not in time with the lyrics. Dan didn't want us to rap his words---he wanted them delivered like we would in our videos. We did SOOOOOO many takes because it was super hard not to actually rap the lyrics. You may also notice that we start out whispering and get progressively more soft spoken as we go---that was Dan's idea, and it's a subtle detail that cracks me up. Dan is REALLY smart, very kind, and of course, hilarious. It was a pleasure working with him and getting to know him. He's awesome!

Will we be appearing in Madison Square Garden anytime soon? Noooope hahahahaha. But we had a lot of fun working together, and we hope you guys can see the obvious and the subtle humor in the collab, and it makes you smile or laugh too. This was Dan's way of introducing his audience to ASMR, and I am very proud to have been able to be a part of it.

Give yourself a break?

2015-05-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

Pandora Feather

If you click the Pandora Feather link, you will be taken to a compilation vid featuring me singing a bunch of different songs over the period of 3-4 hours (the vid is less than 10 mins long, don't worry). Yesterday I decided to leave my Yeti on for hours while I worked. I listened to Pandora, and this is the result of work + music. I am posting it in the hopes it makes you smile, maybe laugh, possibly cringe, but mostly that it brings you some kind of motivation to let go from time to time and do something fun (it doesn't have to be belting out songs in your house) to give yourself a bit of levity and joy. Sometimes it's really easy to forget how to give yourself a break every now and then and enjoy yourself.

The Story of The K3YS: An ASMR Trip to NYC With ASMRrequests and GentleWhispering.

2015-04-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to share my stories about the trip to New York with you guys for a while. Now that the project is out, I feel I can comfortably divulge. I had been part of an VR ASMR experience in July 2014---courtesy of talented Tore Knab---but we were going to embark on the first live action Virtual Reality ASMR video. Even though I have featured over 25 other ASMRtists in my vids and guested on at least 6 other ASMR channels, this was my first in person collab because it was my first time meeting other ASMRtists in real life. Though I was forcing myself out of my comfort zone at every turn, I got to have some amazing experiences, meet wonderful new people, strengthen friendships, and work on what I love. Get comfy, cause this is going to be a looooong bedtime story :)

Once upon a time, I found ASMR videos through a channel called "GentleWhispering." Maria (GW) changed my life by creating vids, and I will always feel grateful to her for giving me that "AHA!" moment so many of us experience when we find ASMR videos. I was smitten and indebted, and I became friends with Maria and her boyfriend Darryl---another content creator that went by "WeightliftingWhisper." I adored them. About a year and half after finding out ASMR was thing other people felt, I created my own channel on a whim. Two months after that (exactly), a channel called "ASMRrequests" was created by a girl named Ally who had been inspired and encouraged to make vids by her boyfriend Josh. Even though our start dates differed, we were all trying to bring something to the ASMR table by experimenting and creating new kinds of content to help people in our little genre.

Ally and Josh made a big stir in the ASMR sphere with a video called "Departure." I had spoken to Ally through a random comment here and there, but we had never talked at length. When "Departure" came out, it slayed in the ASMR subreddit. I won't lie---I was intimidated. I don't take to new tech easily (I am an 80 year old woman on the inside).

Though I had already been making story oriented role plays to take people to other worlds, Departure upped the immersion factor---and people loved it. Whenever I feel wowed or envious of someone, I know they are doing something right, and I congratulate people for their achievements--even if they intimidate the heck out of me---because they deserve to be respected for their work. Being supportive of someone creates teammates instead of adversaries.

I wrote Ally a private message saying "Congratulations, you broke Reddit."---and that was the beginning of a new journey inside the new journey I was already on---It was journey-ception.

Ally said she liked my GLaDos impression that I had done in a couple vids, and asked if I would like to collab with her for "Departure 2." I thought she wanted me to do a Portal-esque voice, but she actually wanted me to have a role in her story. For about a year we kept our friendship a secret because Ally wanted my cameo to be a surprise. Through our covert correspondence, we became close. Even after "Departure 2" came out, our friendship continued and strengthened.

In the winter and spring of 2014 a couple key things happened: A handful of networks tried to claim my "After The Battle" video, and a crisis happened with another content creator's channel that made Ally, Josh, and I livid. We went to work behind the scenes and tried to solve the issue. We knew the Youtube network system was flawed and exploitative, and that little protection was afforded creators. Josh said "I'm tired of this happening to us. We should make our own network." I said "Yeah we should."

But after the crisis was averted, we never addressed it again---till June. That's when Ally and Josh revealed to me that they were starting a Network called "PixelWhipt," and asked if I would partner with them on the endeavor. I had a bajillion concerns because I didn't want to be another flawed Youtube Network, and I def wasn't going to be part of something that exploited anyone's hard work by jacking their Adsense. My concerns were moot because PixelWhipt was going to be different. It was going to focus on Virtual Reality and immersive content, and we would be structurally different than any other network on Youtube. We wanted to build something better than what was available, we wanted to help people, and we wanted to create. I agreed to become a partner in PixelWhipt, and then we got to work---as a team.

In the fall/winter of 2014, an opportunity presented itself for PixelWhipt in the form of a live action Virtual Reality ASMR video that would be shot in New York in a real studio with crazy awesome cameras and mics, and featured on a site called "LittlStar" (and then later on Youtube).

How cool is this?

3Dio knows what's up. And down. And all around.

Ally and Josh were so excited about it, and asked if I would be willing to travel to New York to film it. They also asked if I thought Maria would be receptive to the endeavor. In addition to us just being fans of Maria in general, and knowing that she can execute an ASMR video like a boss, I think we felt that Maria NEEDED to be part of this project out of respect and admiration for her. She's sort of the mother of ASMR. She wasn't the first person to make what would be considered an intentional ASMR video, but she is LARGELY responsible for the growth of the genre, she is largely responsible for role plays becoming live action tingle masterpieces, and above all she changed our lives. Never forget that almost every content creator started out (and remains) a viewer and a fan. When you feel that indebted to someone and an opportunity arises where you can try to pay them back, you take it.

Maria said yes, and all of a sudden it was real. We were talking all the time about the project, writing the story and the script, constructing every detail. Late night Skype sessions for hours were a regular occurrence. I was not only invited to flex my creative fingertips---I was encouraged to---and I loved how involved we all were in the process. We were all nervous about meeting each other even though we had known/talked to each other for years. I was a bit more nervous than my two peers. I am hyper vigilant about my privacy, a pretty protective person, and a worrier. I get especially anxious about working with other people on videos because I don't want to let anyone down or waste anyone's time.

However, Ally, Josh, Maria, and Darryl were always supportive and never once made me feel silly or alone in my feelings. We were all in this together and would take care of each other.

When I arrived in New York, Ally and Josh were already there taking a meeting. Maria and Darryl weren't arriving till the next day, so I passed out in my hotel room. I woke up hours later, and realized that Ally and Josh hadn't called me or returned to the hotel, so I came to the most rational conclusion---that something had happened, they were lost and afraid in New York, and OMG HOW DO I SAVE THEM?

Buuuut they were fine. My friend Chai came into the city, and we met Ally and Josh for the first time in person in my hotel room. They pounced on me and Chai as soon as we opened the door.

We were all starving, so we went to a restaurant to have LEGIT RAMEN for the FIRST TIME EVERRRR! Josh's cousin was our guide and we trusted him to bring us to yummy town.

THAT'S MY DELICIOUS RAMEN I MISS IT

We laughed a lot, and talked about all the little moments in life that seemed inconsequential at the time but were instrumental in leading up to the present. We talked about how excited we were to meet Maria and Darryl. At one point, Ally rested her head on my shoulder and I put my head on top of hers. It was one of those moments where you feel like "Oh. I'm where I'm supposed to be right now."

The next day we had to go to a PixelWhipt meeting. We hit the subway, and came to our stop. I am considerably shorter than everyone in this story, and while Ally and Josh didn't have a problem exiting the car, I had trouble moving people out of my way. The doors started to close, so I channeled my inner Neo, swung, and matrixed my purse in between the doors, keeping the doors open by an inch or two. Josh and Ally never hesitated, they lunged forward, each had a door in their hands, pulled them open, and plucked me out. They had my 5'2 back..

My beautiful subway heroes.

We went to our meeting, met some really cool people, and went back to the hotel to meet Maria and Darryl. We were hanging out in Ally's room when we got a text that Maria and Darryl were coming up. To give you an idea of what a fangirl I am at heart, let me go on a little tangent for a second. When I was in my mid 20's, I went to Disney world. I made my friend wait on line with me for 2+ hours to take a picture with Ariel. As we were getting closer and closer to the princess, I began to get super antsy---so much so, that I wanted to bolt from the line. I was a twenty something year old who was too nervous to meet someone in a mermaid costume. When my friend wouldn't let me leave the line (and had to push me forward to meet Ariel), I could only giggle when The Sea King's daughter asked me how far I swam to meet her. Seriously. I'm a mess.

So you can imagine my insides when I realized I was moments away from meeting the person who had introduced me to the world of ASMR. Ally and I started pacing, and Josh laughed at us. There was a knock at the door, and then lots of hugging and being sort of in awe that we were there together. There's something about being with people you trust, who understand what you're trying to accomplish, what you go through, and what you feel. In our real lives, we don't have social circles of people who feel ASMR, or understand what we face as content creators of a new genre on the internet that is largely misunderstood. There's so much that happens behind the scenes that can be very ugly and scary. All of a sudden we were a group of people in the same room who understood each other in the ways that others in our real lives couldn't. I can't describe what that feels like. It's sort of like a sigh of relief.

Till we meet again, Ariel.

From that moment on, we spent almost every waking moment together...and almost every waking moment was spent working. We had A LOT to do before our shoot day, and we walked that city like crazy gathering the props necessary for filming. I think we thought we were going to have a lot more time to hang out and relax, but we were always hustling. Whenever we had a spare moment (usually from being lost) we would take a couple shots of each other on our adventures.

We tried to get the Empire State Building in the background, but it was too foggy.

Maria and Darryl look perfect while Ally and Josh get directions in the background

I borrowed Josh for a picture in front of a glamorous door.

We needed materials that were surprisingly HARD to find in NY. As a result, we had to Macgyver some things together, and ended up walking blocks and blocks carrying baskets, 12 garbage pails, duct tape, charger plates, and a few other things...I'll tell you what they were for soon. We were in an art store at one point, and Darryl called me from across the building. I hurried closer to see if everything was okay. Darryl motioned for me to come forward more, and then told me to say something. I spoke, and the whole room echoed. We both started laughing. You know you're an ASMRtist when you're spending your time playing with echoes instead of shopping. :P

I need to note how charming and helpful Josh and Darryl are. They were always looking out for us, and insisted on carrying everything for us. Darryl is a machine and never seems to feel fatigue, no matter how much he's carrying or walking. He offered to take my bags so many times, and I kept declining cause I am sometimes really stubborn about being self reliant. Josh opted for a different approach---he walked in step with me and just took the bags out of my hands. Darryl said he was going to do the same thing, but was scared I was going to think someone was trying to steal from me, and didn't want me to start swinging, hahahaha. They are two really remarkable men with big hearts, and though you won't see them in our video, they were instrumental in its formation and completion.

The days preparing for the shoot were a bit of a blur. It felt like the hours were just slipping away from us so fast. Each night was spent working in Ally's hotel room on our scripts, props, and prep. Every night we went to bed dead tired.

These two women are 800 times more beautiful and HILARIOUS in real life.

Maria collects Feathers? Here she is pictured with two! :P

One day, we found ourselves in this deli/buffet type place, and I bought some candy that looked delicious (I had never seen it before)---it was called "Happy Hippo." We went back to the hotel, and I offered everyone some. For Maria it was love at first taste, and her joy over the hippos was so so adorable. I want you to picture a Maria with hungry puppy eyes sitting directly next to you, staring at you and your box of Happy Hippos. You're dying from cuteness, right? I asked "Do you want another one?" And she gleefully exclaimed "YES!" She enjoyed them so much that she and Darryl tracked them down after our trip was over.

Shoot day was the hardest day for all of us. We had to leave the hotel VERY early, and we were bringing a ton with us. Driving in New York is not my cup of tea at all. I don't think it's something I could ever do---even just being a passenger was stressful at times, so if you live in NY and you drive, you have my respect, brave warriors. Josh got us there with Ally's navigational excellence---and it was BEAUTIFUL. There was a little food counter room, two bathrooms, and two filming rooms. I think we were all a bit gobsmacked. We film in a small area of our homes in the dead of night. This was SO different for us.

People began to arrive...way more people than any of us knew were coming. Even though we had constructed the role play, there were two directors and a whole crew there to help us with 360 degree filming. Everyone was really nice, but I think all of us had a moment where we got really intimidated. I film alone, always require multiple takes, no one is watching me, I record for hours, I don't have to memorize a script, and if I mess up, no one else is affected---but now we had I don't know how many people depending on us to get our video done. If we messed up, we were wasting their time. It was pretty daunting.

We had breakfast with the crew as they spilled in, and talked about what needed to happen. We watched the crew hang long dark curtains from the ceiling to the floor to block out the light.

Josh and Maria :P

We played in the curtains, hahaha.

The rest of our time was spent in what I call "the ramp room" (doesn't it look like a skating ramp?) while the crew built our set (so we wouldn't get in their way). It was a good quiet space to memorize our lines, practice, and put our props together.

Darryl was our savior. To help us save time while we tried to commit our lines to memory, he assembled all our "pillars"---Garbage cans stacked on top of each other and bound with duct tape. He also ran lines with us and was ALWAYS a source of positivity and encouragement---which was DEF needed. Maria and Darryl wrapped the "pillars" in lots of black fabric, and made sure they were all sturdy enough to hold our baskets filled with props, charger plates, and lit candles. We were going to be filming in a room draped from head to toe in fabric---balance was key.

"Pillars" before.

"Pillars" after.

We each had a time where our nerves got to us (except Darryl---he's a fortress, and was a glowing source of support for everyone and never wavered in his confidence in us), and each one of us reacts differently to that pressure. When those moments happened, we would compensate for each other. It was like harmony, as cheesy as that may sound. Everyone had plenty to do, but we all never hesitated to make time for each other.

I had Lyme Disease when I was young, and since that time, I have had a slight tremor in my hands (I have talked about it a couple times in my vids). It has made it a bit difficult for me to do things like paint my nails without messing up, or put on makeup especially well unless I really concentrate. Being so nervous exacerbated the tremor. Maria painted my nails for me on my right hand, and Ally touched up my makeup for me. These sound like things that aren't important at all, but they mattered to me. A lot.

When it was time to film, I was a wreck on the inside. The called us in, and had us each stand on our mark in front if the mic to make sure we could all be heard evenly (Ally and Maria are tall, I am very short). One of the directors asked Ally to say something so he could listen to the audio, and Ally recited the alphabet with the professionalism of a Shakespearean actor. I was up next. I improvised a rap about our director in his shirt and hat. He started to laugh, and that made me feel a tiny bit better. Maria was up next, and that's when we saw...it. When Maria turns it on, she is made of ASMR. She shifted into ASMR mode, and I think everyone with ASMR there got twinkly eyed.

The director and Josh adjusted the audio settings and had us do another test. This time I rapped Community's "Donde Esta La Biblioteca?" while Ally danced and lip-synced behind the director.

Then it was time to film. Ally's monologue was first, so Maria and I pretended to read a mystical book (one of my Shakespeare books). I was so petrified of forgetting my lines/wasting people's time that I couldn't get my hands to do anything but clutch the book. Maria turned into ASMaRia, and began to move her hands in gentle whispy motions. Sometimes she would lightly pet my hair, and every so often she would pretend to show me something important in the book. When she would do this, she'd point to a word on the page, and then quietly tell me the word. She kept pointing to the word "bastard" and then whispering it sweetly in my ear. I have no idea how I kept any composure between being so anxious and trying not to laugh at Maria's delicate profanity.

Sometimes we'd have to reset scenes, and we'd go sit for a brief moment outside of the curtains. Maria had brought a bag of apples with her. She had told us she discovered that taking a bite of an apple diminished lip smacking sounds before a shoot. We called her fruit haul our "one bite apples" and joked about how weird the crew might think we were---on top of us doing something they didn't understand, dressed in robes, and tapping on stuff---we'd have a bunch of apples on a counter each only having one bite in them.

We did soooooo many takes, and I never became less nervous. I spoke too fast, I think I was too loud, and I never felt satisfied with any of my scenes. Even now, I hate watching myself because I know I could have done a better job. Josh monitored the audio and had us redo every shot that was corrupted by the noises of New York. I liked that I was working with people who were perfectionists, and just as anal as I was about sound quality.

At the end of the shoot, people started taking pictures. I had told Ally and Maria earlier in the day when we were realizing what a large scale project we were doing that I wasn't keen on being in photos because I didn't want people posting images of my body. Everyone on set got together for a group photo. Ally stood next to me and wrapped her arms---and thus her cloak---around me. Maria stood on my other side, and did the same thing. To anyone else watching, it looked like the three of us were just affectionately hugging each other, but they were protecting me from the cameras. I never asked them to do that, it wouldn't have had any effect on the project (we were done), but they wordlessly did it anyway. That was a defining moment for me. That's when I loved them.

When it was all said and done, we had gotten up at 5am, and were leaving the studio between 10:30/11ish pm. Shoot day was emotionally and physically demanding, and we were EXHAUSTED.

We helped clean up the set and gathered our bags together. We had to leave the studio almost immediately after we were done cause people from Saturday Night Live were coming in to do a skit (HOW CRAZY IS THAT?!).

Ally was like a member of the crew when it was over, she helped out a ton.

We lugged all our equipment into the elevator while the boys got the car. Maria accidentally brushed my butt with her hand, and I slowly turned around with the happiest most ridiculous grin, and excitedly said "GentleWhispering just touched my butt." Ally facepalmed "Heather, don't make it weird!" Maria started cracking up and poked my butt again.

We drove back to the hotel in the car. We had started the journey as friends, and I felt like we were leaving the studio as family.

This is us leaving at the end of our shoot.

We went back to our respective rooms to change clothes so we could get dinner (even though it was prob 11:30pm by then). As soon as I got back to my room, I started to BAWL. I felt so low about my performance. I put my heart and brain into making vids, and I feel so indebted to those who watch. I didn't want to let anyone down. We knew there were going to be people (even a few content creators) that would try to vilify what we were trying to accomplish, and/or hate for the sake of hating, and I didn't want to give them any more reasons to pan what we had worked so hard on for so long. I straight ugly cried. I just needed to let out 18ish hours of repressed nerves and pressure. Then I put myself back together, and went to meet the others. Maria and Darryl opted to stay in and rest, so Ally, Josh, Josh's cousin, my friend and I went out for a midnight dinner. We were basically zombies, but we didn't want to leave each other yet without commemorating the night. The restaurant had this really cool feature---they let people write on their chop stick wrappers and tie them to the wall. I took my wrapper, wrote on it, and tied it on. It might still be there today.

They next day was our last full day together. We all slept in, and then went out for brunch. The food was good, the company was better, and we were all so happy to decompress.

Chicken And Waffles

Salmon and Eggs Benedict?

We decided to go to the Metropolitan Museum Of Art. Ally fell asleep in the cab on the way there. Once we were admitted to the museum, Maria, Darryl and I rushed forward and started touching a huge statue---and immediately got yelled at by security. You know you're an ASMRtist when you get yelled at for feeling up precious artifacts of human history. In our defense though, there were no boundaries put up around it, and some museums (Museum of Natural History) let you touch some of the stones...I think...I know I hugged giant rocks there, soooooo...I JUST WANT TO TOUCH THE HISTORY. IT'S LIKE TOUCHING TIME. LET ME TOUCH IIIIIIIIT.

We got to see a couple cool sections, but we were all still so beat from the day before (and week in general) that we didn't do too much exploring.

Darryl standing in an Egyptian temple not touching anything.

We went back to the hotel and filmed a Whisper Challenge video together that had us all in tears laughing (we'll post that soon). The we went out to a couple bars. At one point, I fell asleep with my face flat on a table in an Irish pub. The group had drinks while I napped. Then we were off again.

We went to a dance club. The club was packed, and played oldies and 80's music. We made a little circle, and started dancing. I don't know what you may think about the dancing skills of ASMRtists, but I can tell you that they can dance really well! For real! And sometimes, they get REALLY into it. Maria, Darryl, my friend, and I were sitting on one of the couches taking a dance break while Ally, Josh, and Josh's cousin were dancing in front of us. Ally is legit a really good dancer. I yelled that compliment (cause the music was loud), and Ally proceeded to give me a mini lap dance, and then sat on the couch with us. I whipped my head to Darryl and Maria with an incredulous look of joy, and squeed "I just got a lap dance from ASMRrequests!" and Darryl and Maria high-fived/congratulated me, hahahaha.

It was a really good time. Drinks were spilling on my feet, people were pushing us, but it was so much fun. When "Shout" by the Isley Brothers came on, we were all jumping up and down,thrusting our hands into the air, smiling, and laughing, and I remember feeling a really content calm. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" described it as "feeling infinite." We were dancing together, we were so happy to be done, and it was just...good. It was one of those moments that you know you're going to still be able to feel years later. It was special.

The next day we said our goodbyes. It was an experience I will never forget, and it wouldn't have been possible without you guys. Patreon played a huge part in funding this trip to marry VR and ASMR. I wouldn't have been able to go without it. So thank you, patrons for allowing this to happen. Thank you to all the viewers who made this possible by being supportive and kind, and therefore motivating me to go out of my comfort zone to try and bring you new kinds of ASMR content. You push me to want to do better all the time. You truly don't know the extent of my gratitude for you. Creating content makes me happier than anything else, and you make it possible for me to create content for people I adore with people I adore. I am SO proud of you. I am a child of the internet, so I know how ugly it can be sometimes. When I posted the teaser for this, you guys not only were open to the idea, you were classy and kind concerning the people who worked on it with me. I have seen viewers and even a few content creators behave maliciously and callously toward/about ASMRtists they don't watch or don't like---but you guys are such a good group of people, you didn't attack or try to demean anyone, and that is so admirably decent in my eyes. Seeing you be kind on other channels, and being so warm on mine so often, makes me incredibly honored to call you my friends, teammates, and viewers. You are the impressive ones, and you help and inspire me more than you will ever know. Thank you. <3

ASMR Head and Scalp Massage Test

2015-04-27T20:47:00.000-07:00

I am working on an ultimate head and scalp massage video for you guys. I have been doing some experiments with props and sound, and I think I have figured out a way for it to sort of feel like I am actually using a mechanical head massage device on your scalp. Here is a taste of part of what's coming.

Incase the blogger vid doesn't work for you, I have also uploaded this on my Facebook page here: ASMR Head And Scalp Massage Test

I would like to meet you on Omegle tonight! Details are in the picture!

2015-02-12T20:40:00.001-08:00

PS. I am not responsible for anything you might see on Omegle. Caution: there may be junk.

Timestamps for the 120 Trigger ASMR Video

2015-01-12T15:38:00.001-08:00

Youtube won't let me post this list---apparently the description box for a video has a text limit. :/

For those who need a quick fix:
1. 1:39 Telephone Voice
2. 2:17 Book Tapping & Page Turning
3. 5:14 SK SkSK SKSKSK SKSKSKSK
4. 7:21 Ribbed Valentine's Day Heart
5. 11:17 Sage Stick & Smudging
6. 13:42 Compressed Air Can Duster
7. 15:14 Leaves in Contact Paper
8. 18:09 Trigger Words
9. 20:47 Brushing Your Hair
10. 22:10 Leather Baseball Mitt
11. 25:25 Tapping The Ticking Clock
12. 28:19 Magic 8 Ball
13. 30:57 Scratching A Yoga Mat
14. 32:47 Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards in Pocket Trading Card Pages
15. 35:13 Thinking Sounds (Mouth Clicking)
16. 37:57 Tapping Rubber Hair Brush Handle
17. 40:03 Face Steamer Device
18. 42:36 Gummy Worm-tongues
19. 43:34 CHCHCHCH
20. 45:51 Chalk On A Chalk Board
21. 48:18 Cleaning Your Ears (Ear Scrubbing)
22. 51:25 Basket Bottle
23. 54:12 Latex Gloves
24. 56:40 Mini Volleyball (or curious basketball)
25. 58:54 Helicopter Sounds (TKTKTK)
26. 1:00:36 Blood Pressure Cuff
27. 1:02:30 TSTSTSTS
28. 1:04:31 Happy Sad Onion Man
29. 1:07:41 Brushing Your Face/The Camera
30. 1:09:50 Tiffany & Co Diamond Paperweight
31. 1:13:31 Plasma Globe
32. 1:15:33 Blanket Fort Sounds
33. 1:17:46 Indiscernible Whispering
34. 1:19:55 Kinetic Sand
35. 1:22:38 Breathy Whispers
36. 1:25:06 Squishy Cow
37. 1:27:00 Ear to Ear Counting
38. 1:29:20 Lather Sounds (Washing/Shampooing Your Hair)
39. 1:32:18 Fingerless Gloves (Yoga Gloves?)
40: 1:34:21 Face Mister
41. 1:35:27 Dental Model
42. 1:37:17 Paintbrush On Canvas
43. 1:38:50 Blowing In Your Ears
44. 1:41:41 The Gravel Goblet And Candle
45. 1:44:38 Pointer Action
46. 1:46:10 Vintage Wooden Car Puzzle
47. 1:49:05 Measuring Tape
48. 1:50:36 Bouncing Water Gems/Water Marbles
49. 1:52:42 Tickling Your Face With A Feather
50. 1:54:09 Fizzing In Your Ears (Baking Soda And Vinegar)
51. 1:56:57 Hands Cupped Over Ears & Whispering "Telling Secrets"
52. 1:58:44 Writing Sounds
53. 2:00:43 Tuning Forks and Zenergy Chime (Harmonic Massage)
54. 2:02:26 Cat Purring
55. 2:03:10 Clicking (Using Antennae)
56. 2:04:16 Spray Sounds "Rain" Falling On You
57. 2:05:23 Hearing Test
58. 2:07:00 Baoding Balls
59. 2:09:39 Breathing In Your Ears
60. 2:12:18 Pop Rocks
61. 2:14:13 Kiss Sounds
62. 2:16:04 Water Marbles Sloshing
63. 2:17:48 Giant Penny
64. 2:20:10 Alphabet Sounds
65. 2:21:54 Vibrating Light Toy
66. 2:23:26 WoodWick Candle
67. 2:25:17 Anticipatory Triggers
68. 2:27:49 Humming
69. 2:30:13 Typing
70. 2:32:32 Shhhh
71. 2:34:54 Giant Garlic Statue (Actually a vase)
72. 2:37:00 You're So Dusty! (Feather Duster)
73. 2:39:30 Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards In Plastic Card Protectors.
74. 2:43:08 Vintage Shell Necklace
75. 2:44:30 Flooring Samples
76. 2:47:47 Aluminium Coil Insulation Tube Thing
77. 2:49:37 White Sand Zen Garden
78. 2:53:06 Miniature Tea Set
79. 2:56:24 Headphones Over Your Ears
80. 2:58:42 Eye Examination & Follow The Light
81. 3:01:41 Powdered Milk
82. 3:03:30 Counting In Spanish
83. 3:05:47 "Womb Sounds" (What else do I call this?)
84. 3:07:54 Sniffing Your Ears
85. 3:08:52 Rotary Phone
86. 3:11:10 Echo
87. 3:13:12 Rimu Wood Box and Paua Pen
88. 3:15:56 Covering Your Ears
89. 3:17:49 Car Duster
90. 3:19:48 Red Plastic Skull
91. 3:21:40 Pinpression Toy
92. 3:25:46 Brrrr Car Mouth Sounds
93. 3:27:46 Marshmallows In Your Ears
94. 3:30:25 Water Drops On Glass
95. 3:32:03 Fossils
96. 3:35:25 Dark Feather
97. 3:37:26 Brushing My Hair
98. 3:39:37 Gentle Personal Attention
99. 3:41:16 Sword
100. 3:44:04 KSKSKS
101. 3:46:46 Guiro (Hollow Gourd Instrument)
102. 3:49:28 Ear Massage
103. 3:50:43 Mini Clay Pot
104. 3:52:59 Plastic Scissors
105. 3:55:01 Stone Butterfly
106. 3:56:55 Crinkly Makeup Removal Cleaning Cloth Bag
107. 3:59:06 Energy Cleansing Sweeping Hand Motions
108. 4:01:03 Tapping Your Ears (Ear Tapping)
109. 4:02:53 Hair Horn
110. 4:05:25 Brushing Your Ears
111. 4:08:28 Giant Candy Buttons Remote
112. 4:10:26 Leather Bound Glass Decanter?
113. 4:12:40 Scalp Massage (Ear Muffs)
114. 4:14:05 Candy Bobomb
115. 4:15:11 Skwish
116. 4:18:28 Old Ice Cream Scoop
117. 4:19:15 Mofo FLOAM
118. 4:21:40 Mini Sparkly Christmas Ball
119. 4:23:22 OMNONOM You're a Pizza!
120. 4:24:56 Walking in Snow, On Pavement, & On Grass (Footsteps)
121. 4:27:47 BONUS! Hedgehog ASMR!

120 ASMR Triggers. 4.5 Hours Long.

2015-01-11T03:18:00.002-08:00

Cross your fingers for my computer to successfully render, and then I will be able to post the vid! It was sooooooo much more work than I realized. I felt like I bit off more than I could chew, but I am hoping people can use it to find new triggers, revisit old ones they love, and use it as an example in explaining what ASMR is to new viewers. I REALLY hope it works for you. I REALLY REALLY hope my computer can handle this kind of render. And I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that Youtube doesn't make me wait days for it to process. Wish me luck?

I Needed You To Know.

2014-12-24T23:21:00.002-08:00

Heads up: I am going to get rambly and sentimental.

I always tend to get reflective around this time of year. I just got home a little while ago from gorging my face off eating the 7 fishes with my family. Christmas Eve is my favorite food day of the year. Christmas Day is my favorite breakfast day because my mom (who is sleeping over) makes bacon and eggs for me and my sister. I am a terrible cook, so getting to eat this kind of comfort food with my family is very special to me. There are a lot of things that are special to me.

2014 was a very hard year for me. You guys know I very rarely talk about personal issues, but it was really interesting because so many of you could tell when I was really struggling (even if I didn't say anything). It's interesting that you guys know me even though we've never met. You all were a constant source of encouragement and HUGE motivation to just keep swimming. You guys made me laugh, you made me cry (appreciatively), you made me happy, and you made my channel with me. I can't tell you what it means to have all of you with me on this journey, and you will never know how deeply honored I am to be able to work with alongside you all.

2014's lows included being sort of bullied by someone from one of the top 3 television networks in America (when I wouldn't agree to let them into my home without giving me any information about anything they were going to show in an interview). I lost the person I considered my best friend to manipulation and betrayal---I had to face the facts that the person I considered my hero (and would have trusted with my sister's life) wasn't who I thought they were and wouldn't be a part of my life. People in my family became ill, and some had/have some very serious health issues to contend with. Life happens. :/

But you know what else? Life happens! I got to have awesome interviews with people who were not only respectful of ASMR, but also of my boundaries (one of which I consider a really awesome friend now coughJonathancough). I made new friends---some I have no idea how I went so long without having them in my life. My existing friendships became SO much stronger when I went to them for help. I realized that I could trust more than one person with me, and as odd as it may sound, it made me stronger. I have been making the most of every available moment with my family, and I have cherished our moments together. And I got to keep making videos with you guys---the Falcors to my Atreyu. Pulling me out of the swamps when I am down, and flying high with me when I'm happy.

There are a million affirmations I could say to you right now to try and tell you that no matter how bad things get, you can get through them---but they are just words on your screen---easy to read and sometimes very hard to feel. I wish all of you happiness and good health. For what it's worth, I am going to keep trying to give you tingles, smiles, laughter, relaxation, rest, and a sanctuary from the world when it gets too loud, because I want to help you as much as you have helped me. We have never met, but we are going through life together. It's happening. We are growing up with each other. We are going to struggle, we are going to fall, we are going to fail, we are going to feel completely broken---and we are going to fight, and get back up, and put our pieces back together. We're going to do this over and over because we're human, and we're vulnerable, and resilient, and wondrous. I can't do much, but I can try my best to help you in the best way I know how, and the way I love, and I promise you I will never stop trying for you all. Haha it sounds so dramatic, but I don't know any other way to say it.

I have no idea what the future holds, but I am excited to embark on 2015 with the greatest group of people on the internet. You all have given me the greatest gifts in my life these past two years, and I will always try to repay you for it through my videos. I am so proud of all we've accomplished thus far (I will make a blog post soon of what we've done together), and I know that we can do more. We are shaping the dialogue about ASMR, and we are pioneering a new genre that is going to have a huge presence in nearly all forms of media one day (that's my bet at least)---and one that is helping literally millions of people now. Think about that. My videos wouldn't exist without you. This is a group effort, a team endeavor, and therefore you have a hand in helping every person who benefits from ASMR content. Thank you, my fellow adventurers.

Happy Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and Happy Life. See you in the future! We'll go together. :)

ASMR Was Mentioned In The 200th Episode Of The Wired UK Podcast!

2014-12-17T12:43:00.001-08:00

Hey guys! ASMR got a mention in Wired UK Podcast's 200th episode!!! http://www.wired.co.uk/podcast/episode-200 If you start at 15:44 you will hear Nate (the host) speaking highly of ASMR and playing a clip from my Cat Lady Role Play! I think it's awesome when people are open minded (and in this case very positive) about ASMR, so if you want something cool to listen to---or if you just want to stop by the podcast page and say hiiii from the ASMR community (we can be the friendliest welcome wagon on the internet) and congratulate Nate and his team on their 200th episode, please feel free to do so .

My 200th ASMR video is coming. Whoa.

2014-12-13T06:31:00.003-08:00

Hey guys, I wanted to let you know a new vid is coming. It was brought to my attention that it's going to be my 200th vid, and I have been feeling a lot of pressure to complete the Bob Ross one, so I want it to be the 200th video. It's A LOT more work intensive than I thought it would be. I am using two mics and two cameras, among layered moments, so please bear with me. I could have done a sound slice to hold you guys over, but I want to get this done. Thanks for understanding, thanks for sticking with me through 200 videos (whoa my gosh!!!!), and I am sorry for the delay.

Making It Rain Tingles Part 2! Looking for new ASMR content creators? Here are some more I recommend!

2014-11-25T17:45:00.002-08:00

Last week I started a little blog series that I am going to try my best to keep up with. In it, I share other content creators' vids that work for me (about 10 at a time) to possibly help you find new sources for ASMR. Here is another batch for your viewing pleasure! I hope you find some new content creators that work for you!

Ardra Neala's BEAUTIFUL "Binaural Psionic Initiation Role Play"

AnkieAsmr Tingling's "Getting Your Eyebrows and Eyelashes Colored Role Play"

ASMR Chess' "The Fundamental Chess Tactics For Beginners"

ASMR Angel's Cranial Nerve Examination Role Play

asmrbebexo's "Super Up-Close Whisper: Words Beginning With Q"

Asmr Vids' "Sculpting Toy 3"

amalzd's "Dead Sea Nails Saleswoman Role Play"

asmrdidibandy's "Doctor Role Play"

ASMRanthony's "Hands In Your Hair"

asmrAlice's "Sci-fi Research Role Play"

Bonus! Arda Neala's "Krampus Role Play"

I hope you enjoy this week's picks! More to come! Remember, if you don't see someone you love up here, it doesn't mean I don't love them too---I just can't put hundreds of vids in one blog post, or people will feel overwhelmed and be less likely to check out some new faces. You are always welcome to post your faves and anyone you think I should check out in the comments to share with me and each other.

Cutebunny992 is back! An Original Gangster of ASMR Returns!

2014-11-22T00:13:00.003-08:00

The return of the bunny!

ASMR has grown a lot in the last 5 years. There are hundreds of thousands (maybe even millions at this point) of people who watch ASMR videos now. Some of you might have been around a handful of years ago, and might remember Cutebunny. Some of you might have no idea what I am talking about.

Cutebunny is an OG of ASMR. She was one of the first channels I ever subscribed to (waaaaaaaay before I became a content creator). Cutebunny made a role play of something I had never heard of before---something called a "cranial nerve examination." It triggered my face off. Hundreds of times. Even now, years later, it still triggers me.

Cutebunny's name is Marianne, and she is responsible for the popularization of Cranial Nerve Examination Role Plays. Her CNE RP triggered hundreds of thousands of people without a binaural microphone, without an HD camera, without any special effects, back when ASMR videos on Youtube weren't common at all, and the genre was in its infancy. It was just her voice and her movements, and it worked wonders.

Some terrible things happened to her channel, and Cutebunny disappeared. Had she stayed, I have no doubts that she would have hundreds of thousands of subscribers. Some people uploaded her videos to Youtube, and even then, they garnered over a million views in total. One could argue that her introduction and popularization of the cranial nerve exam role play helped contribute to the growth of ASMR as a whole. CNE's are among the most common, effective, and popular types of ASMR videos, and this woman had a direct influence on that.

Her CNE wasn't the only video she made that attracted obscene amounts of people to ASMR, and inspired hundreds of content creators (myself included). You might also know of a video called "Let Me ASMR You" that has inspired other ASMRtists to make their own versions. She was a prolific content creator who had a nice variety of videos (including some great teaching role plays, and videos in Greek as well). It has been three years since she disappeared. I am so happy to share that she's back!

Cutebunny understands ASMR, and seems to be naturally inclined to trigger it. I think she deserves a huge warm welcome back to the community that she helped build and was forced to leave. Please check out her channel Cutebunny992 and say hello to someone who (though she may not even realize it) is partly responsible for making the ASMR video genre what it is today. I hope that she stays, and I can't wait to see what she brings to the table in the future.

Looking for new ASMR content creators? Here are some I recommend! Making It Rain Tingles (Part 1)

2014-11-10T00:41:00.000-08:00

I am subscribed to around 400 ASMRtists (atm). I love having lots of options and seeing the different ways so many unique and awesome people make content to trigger others. I thought I would maybe start sharing some videos/channels from other content creators that work for me. Obviously I cannot talk about every single content creator in one blog post, so I will do a handful or two at a time. Feel free to leave anyone you've found and highly recommend in the comments!

Accidentally Graceful's amaaaaazing short ASMR film "The Shift"

17MissCoco's "Making Nails"

17MissCoco's "Follow The Pen"

albinwhisperland's "Morticia Adams Does Your Makeup"

ASMR BEARD's "Trigger Words"

ASMR Barber's Channel Trailer

ArtSMR Dianne's "Strass Stone Book Tapping"

ASMattR's "999 Happy Haunts" ASMR Collaboration

asmr Yacyama's "Covering Your Ears With Binaural Fizzing Sounds"

Air Light ASMR's "Multilayered Tapping, Scratching, Unintelligible ASMR"

I think ten is a good number to start with. If you don't see someone you love up here, it doesn't mean I don't love them too---I just want to pace it on the blog, so people don't feel inundated. I think this way people can explore some (possibly) new material they've not seen yet, and I will try to update the blog frequently with these kinds of posts so you can discover more. You are always welcome to post suggestions for other channels in the comments for others (and myself) to discover. Happy Viewing! :D

Hanging out with you on Omegle!

2014-10-25T15:15:00.002-07:00

Hi friends! I loved doing this, and I would like to do more of this in the future with you all! I will keep uploading our sessions to my blooper channel. If you want to join me one night on Omegle for a little bit, keep an eye on my Twitter or Facebook. I will give notice in both places so I can reach as many of you as possible. This was so fun---I was soooooo nervous, but everyone was incredibly nice and funny. Thank you to all those who participated. See you soon! :D

My Twitter

My Facebook

My Blooper Channel

Congratulations to the Winners!

2014-10-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to WorkerOfTheHarvest for winning the 3Dio mic, and Jordan Lynn and Cali ASMR for winning the sleepphones!

If are reading this, and you are one of the winners, please keep an eye on your Youtube inbox---I will be messaging you shortly to make sure everything is okie dokie with eligibility, and if so, getting started on hooking you up with your prize!

Thank you to every single person who has joined me on this Youtube adventure (not just for the giveaway, but for the journey as a whole). You guys mean a lot to me, and I look forward to making you tingle and smile and the future <3.

New ASMR Role Play Idea. Want To Contribute? :D

2014-09-27T19:41:00.002-07:00

Hey everyone! I was watching a Youtuber named jacksepticeye yesterday, and he gave me an idea I want to try for a role play. He does a series on his channel called "Drawing Your Tweets" where people tweet him silly things to draw. I would like to do this as well---but I would like to turn this into a Bob Ross-esque role play. So if you would like to participate, please send me a tweet at https://twitter.com/HeathFeathASMR with the hashtag #BobRossMyTweet and something you would like to see me botch up drawing as "Feather Ross." It could be anything from "an apple" to "Dark Feather riding a dolphin" (but nothing malicious or raunchy). If it's well received, I think we could make it a series I do every now and then, and maybe I can give away the paintings/drawings as giveaways (I don't know if anyone would even want them, cause I guarantee they will be awful, haha). I thought this would be a fun way for us to interact, for you guys to be a part of a role play, and a new way for me to give you tingles. Nothing is set in stone, but I wanted to put out the idea and get things rolling so I can feel it out.

Thank you. My birthday was very special because of you all.

2014-09-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for the beautiful birthday wishes. You all are more significant to me than you know. I am finishing up a video tonight that will try to explain what you and these interactions mean to me, and just trying my best not to lose it on camera (curse the mob cutting onions in my living room). If I could hug you all I would.

One Of Our Own Has Written A Book! Congratulations, JustAWhisperingGuy!

2014-09-08T12:19:00.002-07:00

Hey everyone! One of our own community has just published a hilarious and super helpful book called "Hardcore Self Help: F**ck Anxiety."

Many of you know JustAWhisperingGuy. Robert has been my friend for almost two years now, and he's been an invaluable resource for me in the past. Whenever I would get too critical of myself, or want to scrap something, Robert was behind the scenes cheering me on, telling me not to doubt myself, and letting me know when I was being unfair and too hard on myself. He's also a brilliant and driven person, who at only 25 years old will have a PhD in psychology within a year. I know a lot of us experience anxiety (some of us all too regularly), so I thought I would share something that might really help you---made by someone who has really helped me.

Cool News: My Voice Was In A Movie Trailer!

2014-09-07T13:41:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I wanted to share something with you: My voice was used in a movie trailer! That's my humming and breathing! When I released my humming sound slice, I was contacted by a movie studio, and here is the first trailer they've used it in!

I can't wait to show my mom and grandparents. It was a really cool experience! They asked me for more content, so I might be in another trailer one day or they might not use it at all---but either way, it's a pretty neat thing that I am stoked about (especially with being able to share it with my grandparents, cause they will understand a movie trailer much more than me dressing in a blue wig and pretending to be an evil candy queen hahaha).

Guys. An Amazing Viewer Did Some Impressive Analysis of Mystical Feather.

2014-07-27T11:33:00.003-07:00

Melanie's Fan Theory About Mystical Feather

It's beautiful. Do you have any theories? Whatever they may be, she's def coming back. Brace yourself. Motives are coming.

Are you an artist? Would you like to be featured in one of my ASMR role plays?

2014-07-12T21:20:00.001-07:00

Hey guys! I have been playing with an idea for a role play for a little over a month now. If you have a deviantART account, or art site where you make your own art, or are an artist on Etsy, etc, and you are interested in having it displayed in one of my videos (an art curator role play or something similar), please let me know in the comments here. Feel free to post your site too. I am thinking of doing a role play where I show some viewers' art. You guys know I LOVE art. I am always looking to do new kinds of ASMR role plays, and I would love to do one that includes some of you. Please read this post carefully for details about this potential project.

You would need to be willing to give a piece of your art to me to use in a video---so I would need your permission in writing (I would tell you exactly what you need to write according to Youtube's copyright policies) to use your art piece. You would def need to give me something that doesn't conflict with copyrights. I don't mess around with copyrights---I will not use anything that could jeopardize my channel.

Depending on how many art pieces I use for the role play, your art may be featured anywhere from a few minutes to many minutes---I cannot give you a concrete set of time in which it will be on screen.
The art MUST be yours---please do not volunteer other people's art---I will not use it.
I won't be able to use art that could get my video flagged (violent or sexual images).

The art can be prints, jewelry, sculpture, cloth, masks, metal, stone, etc---I am really interested in using different types so I can create different sounds in the video (using my nails, or a pointer, etc).
You would need to be willing to ship your art and pay for shipping. I will not be able to ship it back to you, so please make sure you have something you are comfortable giving away. If something is dear to you, or very valuable, please do not offer it up for this video---I know what art can mean to a person---I don't want you parting with anything you love.

I won't have any pieces coming to my personal address---I am WAY too cautious with my privacy to be comfortable with that---so I will have arrangements in place to have them shipped to another state/states, then a contact/contacts will get them to me.
I would credit you at the end of the video (including linking to your site), and on my blog. I would LOVE it if you could even give me a paragraph or two about yourself as an artist and your art to read in the role play (so I sound like a knowledgeable curator :p), so please think about what you would want me to say publicly about you and your piece.

For this first art curator role play (if it happens) I will select a handful, or two handfuls of people, but if people like the role play and find it triggers them, we can make it a reoccurring series using more people.

I will contact certain people who are interested in participating and get more information to ascertain eligibility (copyrights and shipping info). If you do not hear from me, please do not feel slighted---though I would love to use everyone, I have to do this in a way that 1. Doesn't overwhelm me or my resources and 2. Still keeps ASMR as the main focus. Ultimately I am doing this to trigger people, and I don't want to lose sight of that while trying to coordinate with multiple people.

This is still just an idea, and I am not guaranteeing that I will follow through with it. So far, the response on Facebook has been a very positive one, so I am extending it here. So if this is something you would be interested in, please leave a comment, include your site if you want, and I will take a look when I can (comp access is still limited). Thank you for even considering this idea. I think this could be really neat, and I would love to be able to include some viewers in this way.

"There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing."---Aristotle

2014-07-04T13:25:00.000-07:00

A lot of you guys on facebook know I have been working on this blog entry for a bit. It was actually requested from quite a bit of people (ASMRtists and viewers). I mulled about it, and I finally decided to publish it today. I hurt my back recently lifting something heavy like an idiot (used my upper back instead of my legs). I am currently icing it down with a frozen bag of spinach, and using my sister's laptop to write this. I logged on, found the standard number of trolling/hate messages to me, and thought "I'm stuck on my couch. My back just became the Duke of Douchebaggary. I can't do anything. I'm going to do this."

If you display yourself on the internet, you are almost certainly going to come into contact with WTFery. ASMRtists are no exception to this. While there are some super thick skinned and witty troll slayers in our wonderful little niche (shout out to the gorgeous and talented Amal---one of the best brains around town, and one of the most unflappable people I have ever encountered), many people enter the community not knowing what to expect or how to handle what is said to them. Even seasoned ASMRtists can be wounded by internet shenanigans. As a result, many leave, take hiatuses, close their channels, or take things to heart. So for this entry, I want to talk to you about what kind of things might be said to you, why they are being said, and the options you have upon receiving them/finding them. By no means is my word law---I am just a dorky girl who talks to her camera for hours in her pajama pants---and I am going to speak to you from my experiences. I am going to give you examples of things that have been said to me, but I don't want this entry to be something that makes you mad or sad. I have cherry picked some of my favorite comments/messages that I have used to cheer up other ASMRtists, or just crack me up. I want it to be something that can make you laugh, and perhaps inspire you to keep trucking no matter what someone says to you about your endeavors. Let's give this a shot, shall we?

What I am going to say might sound harsh, but stick with me, alright? You are going to be judged. I am not saying that you need to be complacent with the judgments, or that people are right to judge---I am saying it's going to happen. The possibilities are endless: If you don't show your face, people will attack you for your anonymity. If you show your face, people will call you an attention whore---heck, even if you just show a picture of yourself, you can get called a narcissist.

Ex. "Did you REALLY need to paste a picture of yourself on this video? Are you that needy?? It's a damn audio only asmr vid, you could of put some relaxing picture of a pond, or lake, or anything, f***ing eagles flying in a shape of a unicorn. But instead it's of you cam whoring. What? Did you think we'd forget who makes the videos /u/sailorchell? Like come on, this comes off so attention seeking it hurts, or like gender manipulation. It's almost as bad as those YouTube vids that have a pair of tits as thumbnails for a video like "here is a list of my fave movies". Vying for views with shallow actions just turn people off. We want genuine, sincere asmrtists, not someone who is basically that kind of girl who you'd see taking a sexy fullbody shot just to show off a new mug she got."

If you are a male, there are people that will attack your sexuality. If you look nice, people are going to say you are using your sex appeal to get views. If you have breasts, there are people that will call you a slut. If you have a high voice, people will call you fake. If you have a deeper voice, people will say you are using your sexuality to get views. If you are confident, people will call you a bitch. If you are unapologetic about doing what you want, people will call you arrogant. If you are open about your life, people will use the info to hurt you, or question your character. If you are shy/introverted, people will tell you you don't belong on the internet. You might hear these things, and you might hear them often. It doesn't matter how well meaning you are or how many subscribers you have---the dark side of the internet can be like a bouncing little demon baby, full of unconditional malice, and there will be days that it wants you to be its playmate.

You might encounter trolling. A troll post is one that's intended to get a rise out of you and/or your viewers. They're looking to incite an emotional response. Many times you will see them on loads of other ASMR channels trying to goad people into interacting with them.

Ex:. "F*** you *****. You're so annoying. I am a dude btw, so you know I'm not just some jealous ho; this is a genuine statement."

You might get creepy messages. This is when someone tries to engage you in an unwelcome sexual way, or trick you into fulfilling a fetish request. It is important to note that everyone's definition of a creep is subjective, and not all comments that have to do with your appearance are made with the intent to engage with you in a sexual way or objectify you, not all fetish requests are made in a disrespectful way, or that any sexual comment is made by a creep. What matters is what your own personal boundaries are---unwelcome is key.

Ex: "i would really like to stick my ***** inside your *** while your ********. that would be swell.... i bet you have sexy feet too. lets take ***** together baby. then we can **** like bunny rabbits.i wanna suck ur toes and lick ur ***."

You might find there are people who loathe you. A hater is someone who vehemently doesn't like you. They don't know you, but they've convinced themselves they've got you pegged. Haters are loyal. They're the ones subscribed to you just to thumbs down your vid. They're the ones who make a point to down vote you on reddit no matter what you post. They comment on your vids/threads to tell you how inadequate you are. You exist, and they want to let you/everyone else know how much you suck for existing.

Ex: "Look at this white knight party you have going for yourself. You must be very pleased. I love how they all march over here to come and prove a few theories right about our rotund, reigning asmr queen. My shock is pretty low over the fact you've pretty much proved a comment I made last night right. I think it's well known by now that you read everything and anything to do with you. Got to fill that lack of self esteem and inferiority complex somehow."

There are people who will insult you because you/your videos don't fulfill their individual wants/cater to them in the way they think you should. These people don't care that you aren't creating content for other people, because you should be doing everything you can to please them specifically. If it doesn't work for them, that means you don't work at all. These are not people offering constructive criticism (constructive criticism is valuable and can help you grow as a content creator)---if you aren't acting in accordance with their wishes, they can attack your character, discredit your work, and sometimes even threaten you.

Ex: "It's funny how a certain "supporter" of my channel can find the time to manage her own channel and read through her facebook, and yet can't find the time to "support" my own work. If your just going to tell me something I want to hear just to make me happy so I'll shut up for about to seconds, I will be incredibly disappointed. Yeah those 22 thousand subs of yours are blind to how you really are. I think its pretty obvious your aren't creating anything to help anyone. You just looking for attention for the least amount of effort. Way to fool about 22 thousand acting like your someone your not..."---a person who didn't like when I declined their many requests to make my channel a commercial for their let's play channel.

There are some people who can get unhealthily attached to you. To them, you are not a stranger on the internet making ASMR vids, you are someone they have decided/imagined belongs in their real life. These are the people who might try to find out where you live. They watch who you interact with, they ask people they think know you for information about you, etc. There are some days you might wish they were trolling.

Ex. "It makes me a little uncomfortable that you never tell me anything...First, I wanted to let you know that in your last video, in the time light pass through the focus of the camera, causing a violet flashes deform your face to the viewer . I noticed this when passing the video frame by frame...I don't hesitate because of your silence. I felt , however , your signs , your keys , your hints, your little winks. Maybe just see what I want to see. I have so much fear that you don't want to want me!...If I changed my channel was not to deceive you, but to make this exchange between you and me more private."---excerpts from months of letters from someone who created multiple accounts.

There will be people who won't like how you comment to people. There are those who won't like if you stand up for yourself or your peers, or even make light of negative comments. Some people feel like you exist solely for content, and you shouldn't have a voice aside from the function they designate for you. If you respond to comments/videos in a way they don't approve of, they feel it's a negative reflection of your character.

Ex. "Heather I would appreciate clarification. You recently commented on an animal abuser's channel named Jenna Marbles. The woman is pictured shoving a helpless animal into a shower. I reported this video to YouTube and to PETA. You're supposed to be the Anti-Jenna Bush, the Anti-American Sorority Whore. Please tell me you didn't endorse this woman or I'm unsubscribing. You're Morrissey remember? Not Kardashian...You would note that I have unsubscribed from this channel although I have remained with Mariya. The only BS here is from your beloved director who feigns empathy while endorsing albeit impliedly cruelty."

Not every negative or harsh message/comment is intended to harm. There will be people that just don't like you or your content cause something about you or your vids don't work for them, and they might let you or others know---but they aren't doing it with the intent to hurt you. They are just stating their opinions, and while it might not be awesome to hear, it doesn't mean they are "bad."

Ex. "I tried to like HeatherFeather but her voice just annoys the crap out of me. I wish it didn't because she seems to produce creative and regular content."

Why am I telling you all this? This entry is long, and it might be things you already know, or seem obvious, and/or trivial. If you watched my Draw My Life, or frequent my blog, you know I'm a spiteful woman who believes that "success is the best revenge," and I believe that people who are trying to hurt you are irrelevant. But admittedly, I have really thick skin. Not everyone has thick skin---and even those who do, aren't impervious to being hurt. If it helps to visualize it this way, think of a mean spirited/unwelcome remark as a paper cut. Is it going to kill you? Nope. Does it hurt? It can. Now think of getting bunches of paper cuts every week. For some people (regardless of subscriber count), they come every day, across multiple mediums. Eventually for some, it can become a death by a thousand paper cuts (death being a metaphor for closing their channel, or losing their drive to make vids, etc). People tend to remember the bad more than they remember the good, and it just takes one "cut" to get under your skin.

SPOILER ALERT: We know what happens to Drogo...

I have talked about giving power to people in "You're Not a Purple Frog" and I have talked about recognizing comments as being relevant or irrelevant in "True Life: I am an ASMRtist". I want to talk about being "selfish" now. Your channel is an expression of you. It's your territory. It's your place to create. As such, it's important that you like the space you've created for yourself on Youtube. We make videos for other people, but it's important that you make videos for you first. Doing what you want, having fun with your ideas, enjoying the time you put into your channel---these are things that keep you driven to produce more. If you are doing what you love, it's a lot harder for the kinds of negativity you might see to taint your endeavors. Don't be scared to be "selfish," and try new things, or stick to old things---don't be scared to make yourself happy and comfortable. It's your time and resources you are putting into your channel---spend them on something you can love.

Making videos for yourself and to your standards doesn't mean you don't care about your viewers---quite the contrary. It means you care so much about your viewers that you want to give them the best work you can deliver without compromising yourself. You aren't going through motions when you make a video. It means you are giving them genuine efforts with the best attempts you can muster to give them something they can be proud of too---having viewers that are proud to be your viewers means more to you than just numbers. Taking in the constructive criticism without taking in the nonsense, acknowledging the incredibly important feedback from your viewers, having pride in your accomplishments, investing yourself in your endeavors, enjoying working hard on something, all lend to producing better content for people---the people you WANT watching your channel. As much as I am proud of my Youtube journey, I am SO proud of the friends and viewers I have---I have said it before, and I'll say it again: They are some of the best people on the internet.

Even though some of this might sound like common sense or redundant, I'm not sorry for writing this book of an entry---because there are lots of people in our little niche...and in life in general who think they have to accept/deserve what's thrown at them, or internalize it, or allow it to permeate their real lives in toxic ways. You are allowed to curate your comments section so people aren't fighting with each other instead of relaxing. You are allowed to block people. You are allowed not to care when people don't like you. You are allowed to be unapologetic for who you are and what you create. You are allowed to disregard comments, and you are allowed to laugh at them. You are allowed to make content in the way you see fit.

The people who find you are effective for them will let you know, and you can take pride in helping an audience that is supportive and kind and there for what you want to do. You are allowed to be proud of your work. You are allowed to be proud of yourself. You are allowed to be happy. So do what makes you happy.

I hope that this entry (if you made it this far) made you laugh, smile, feel determined to keep going. I want to reiterate that I don't know everything. I don't have all the answers. I am not an expert or an authority that has any clout or control over the internet. I have been a Youtuber for a little over a year and half and feel insanely lucky for every experience I have had as one. I have met so many people I like and so much company that I care about, and I just want to keep seeing you all around the tube.

Content Update Concerning My ASMR Channel

2014-06-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! Some of you may already know that my comp died. It doesn't matter what I do, it's never going to bend to my will again.

Thankfully with the help of my patrons on Patreon, I am not completely hopeless! I am able to buy myself a new computer, and while it isn't the dream build we all were hoping for, I'm told it's going to be a pretty great build (thank you so much to those who helped me with the tech advice---I'd be SO lost without you. Special shout out to Quiettime Tutor).

So I am working with people and making finalizations on this machine, then it has to get built, and shipped to me. I might pay extra for faster shipping, but it will still take weeks for this new system to get here. Until it gets here and I learn how to navigate it, I am going to be on borrowed time and equipment---using a computer at a friend's house when I can. I am on someone else's schedule and using equipment that isn't used to video editing and rendering. This friend is being VERY patient and understanding with me, and I don't want to overstep my bounds by hounding them for their computer after they get home from work.

So here's what I'm going to be doing: I am going to put out audio only vids for a while. Sound Slices, A Dark Feather Sound Slice, some audio only Sound Assortments---stuff like that. That way, I won't have the extra editing and rendering time for visuals. As soon as the new comp is up and running, I will be creating regular vids again (I have a role play planned that includes some people you may know that I am excited to get to you). But until the new rig arrives, I think this is the best way for me to continue to put out content without putting out my friend.

Because of this change to my access to a comp, I am going to have to schedule my uploads (Youtube has a feature that lets you do that)---which means I won't physically be clicking "Publish" like I normally do. I am not going to have the same time available to me to respond to comments, so if you see less of me in the comments sections, it's not cause I don't care---it's because I don't have a comp at my fingertips to respond to you---and when I do have a comp to use at my friend's house, I am most likely going to be editing my face off (since I only have it for a limited time). I don't want you guys to think that I am not reading your comments, or that I don't want to respond. Engaging with you all has always been something I have enjoyed and had a lot of fun with, and I am going to miss it a bit. This is simply just a transitional period for equipment, and I will be back to normal as soon as the new comp arrives.

Thanks for understanding, and again, THANK YOU to everyone who helped me with this (via Patreon, Reddit, messages, advice, time, and encouragement). I appreciate it more than you will ever know. And I will not forget it.

I forget nothing. O_o