life. photography. motherhood.

favorite places

2009-11-16T07:10:00-05:00

Way back when I first made a confession about the state of my dining room table here, one of the items was a picture frame. That post and item number three in the photo, well finally some two months later I just printed out the photos to go in it. The dining room table may still bear a resemblance to it's earlier state, now topped by flashcards, crayon drawings and a harvest gourd centerpiece of sorts...

These are two of the photos being framed, taken during a Casco Bay harbor cruise to Eagle Island. Why does summer seem so very long ago?

decluttering kids toys update

2009-11-15T11:42:45-05:00

Nothing a few leftover Flor tiles couldn't fix. Well that and the garbage bags seen in the lower right of the photo. Ever inspired by Stimey's Junk Pyramid, I have been on a tear. I do admit I stopped counting at somewhere over a hundred things packed away for donation/trash. I still have few HOURS of work left to tidy up the surrounding space in the studio, which is now overflowing with keep, sort, toss, donate piles.

I'm not sure exactly what the lesson is in all this. Stuff isn't so much the problem as maybe accepting they can be happy with less, MUCH less. Somewhere along the way, it's become so common just to buy them what they "need" anytime because the money/credit is there and so are the opportunities. With Christmas approaching, I can't help but remember how much I loved the anticipation of it for the wonder and suprise of new toys. I've taken that away from my kids and I want to give it back. Maybe it's too late for this Christmas, but after spending hour after hour with a very first world toy problem, it's kind of absurd to do it all over again next year. Here's the before decluttering post.

reason to believe

2009-11-14T13:18:02-05:00

that this year will be better than the last. A lyric from a song. Actually about a long December, but November isn't that far off. We mark time in many ways and January 1st never was particularly memorable for me. Birthdays. Mine. My kids. Change of seasons. Novembers. For some it's April.

One of my favorite people has started blogging again. She could

do nothing but post photos of her doggies and I would be glad. She made Squam possible. We all make things possible for ourselves and for those we haven't yet met.

About a year or so ago I crossed paths with Jen Lee in New York at a blogger event that was sort of out of character for us both. But I remembered her very distinctly when we met again this past July in Chicago during BlogHer. And again in September at Squam. If it's hard to see change in yourself, hard to see the distance from where you are now and where you were then. If it's hard to picture you a year from now, five years from now---watch someone else.

I don't mean become a fan of someone. I don't mean try to emulate them. Just watch. Be with them. Stay open to the possiblity that your path and theirs may cross again one day. Dream big with other big dreamers.

It isn't easy doing more than you thought you were capable of. But watch those you admire, watch those who make you smile, listen to their dreams unfolding. It's almost braver to accept sometimes that the big dreams are only realized in tiny steps, imperceptible day to day changes.

I see myself five years ago, sitting in a corner of our living room mumbling under my breath trying to make sense of a how-to-knit book while my husband tried in vain to quiet a squawking baby. I see myself this past September, finding myself walking alongside Jenny Doh for a few moments, having the chance to talk art and motherhood and knitting.

You might think at most that if I hadn't ever taught myself to knit, Jenny and I might not have had anything to talk about. Honestly, if I never taught myself to knit, I wouldn't have been there at Squam at all. Not this past year, not any year I don't think.

There are only so many hours in the day, so many ways to refine what is important to us. But when events leave you changed, leave you more than grateful for the only chance you'll need to understand the import of choosing just the few most important things in your life, well then it becomes so much easier not to worry that the big dreams will never happen for you.

Just now that former screamer of a baby thrust a notebook in my hands, made me correct her hand drawn multiplication quiz. I totalled up the fifteen correct answers and handled it back to her.

"I can't believe it!" she exclaimed.

Belief and disbelief arent' so very far apart, are they? There is both a hope and confidence in believing that is so necessary. There is also a kind of joy in receiving what you didn't believe possible. Sometimes it's more profound than math problems, sometimes not. Yes, this year will surely be better than the last.

And when I think of the year ahead, when I look back to Squam and watch the slideshow just one more time, I think instead of these lyrics:

On certain Sundays in November
When the weather bothers me
I empty drawers of other summer's
Where my shadows used to be
She is standing by the water
As her smile begins to curl
In this or any other summer
She is something all together different
Never just an ordinary girl

Maybe one day I'll tell you why I can't stand the rain in November, but maybe by this time next year I won't need to. Instead I'll focus on more important things like decluttering the toys in time to make the 4 o'clock deadline for drop-off at the charity thrift store. I'll focus on the laugh I had when I saw Amy's comment on that post. We are always moving on, always decluttering. Sometimes it's tangible and embarassingly obvious as with that post. Sometimes it's a quieter joy, a more balanced gratitude.

the real everyday math

2009-11-13T20:20:09-05:00

Around these parts that means striking bargains about using the netbook to play math-related sites. It's a little ironic that in my efforts to school her in the math basics, she uses Fact Dash on mhschool.com, a site run by McGraw-Hill, publishers of the beloved Everyday Mathematics curriculum used in our district.

When searching for a better explanation of just why so many people love to hate Everyday Math, I found this useful page that explains the various convoluted methods for computing that EM teaches. Couple that with my opinion on "inventive spelling" and I'm sure I'll be a teacher favorite at conferences for years to come. Joking. Mostly.

I thought it was pretty funny that beside her wi-fi linked netbook she had a cheap $7 plastic push button multiplication table I had gotten her at the parent teacher store. I really don't think there's anything wrong with a spiraled spiralling tornadic? approach to teaching a subject, but I see how much more in depth she needs me to be with her at home. This recent local piece on the reform math type programs is a bit disheartening. She doesn't have an autism spectrum diagnosis, but as mentioned by the neuro who diagnosed her dyspraxia, there is a lot of overlap in the two. She is definitely more an independent thinker than a collaborative sort. Time will tell how much the school version of math instruction helps or hinders her grasp of subject material.

I swear NaBloPoMo is turning into NaBloPo(aboutnothingotherthanschoolandmath)Mo, but there you have it. I have many thoughtful comments that I just haven't had time to respond to and have stumbled upon many more blog posts and beauty that I wanted to share, but also haven't had the time to. Having a kid who can comprehend a vast amount of material in a short amount of time sort of leaves me to being the one to whip up a buffet of learning at a moment's notice. That's a good dilemma to have. Also a good dilemma---not worrying about her screen time because it means for a change she's actually interested in paring back her five book a day habit.

such small hands

2009-11-12T14:47:20-05:00