Heather Lindsey

"The Perfect Woman"

2013-05-04T13:16:00.002-07:00

Ever found yourself trying to fit into some image of this woman you want to be? You have examples all around you of your idea of what you think is a "perfect" woman. So, you attempt to do all of these things like cook, clean, start a business God didn't tell you to start, work crazy hours at a job you have no peace about just to find value, go to school (knowing good & well God never told you to go), charge up your credit cards, get your hair done, work out or whatever else... and you put all this pressure on yourself to be this "woman." Guess what?

She doesn't exist.

Let me encourage you sis-- putting all this pressure on yourself to be some person that God didn't call you to be will only distract and clutter your heart. Then, you won't even be able to hear God's voice because you're so busy trying to be an image instead of accepting that you're MADE in His image. Do I think EFFORT is a good thing to do your hair, work out, etc-- of course- but it's WRONG when those things are before God. How can those above things replace God? When you've made them idols and you've stopped seeking Christ & now you're seeking degrees, money, a man or whatever else. Did you know that people are in hell for love? They loved the wrong things and people and replaced GOD with those things they loved. They loved money. They loved power. They loved being "popular." They loved keeping a man in their bed. They loved porn. They loved to drink. They love to smoke. They loved rebellion. I ask you sis, what do you love? What are you "loving" as you try to achieve your idea of being a "perfect woman?" What is in your heart? WHO are you when nobody else is looking? Underneath the makeup, smile, and body... who are you all alone? Ask God to wreck & change your heart. And CONTINUE to ask Him to do this because this walk with God is not a sprint but a DAILY journey of living for Him.

Being perfect is impossible because we live in a fallen world. Trying to be perfect is going to stress you out because you're trying to achieve something that only Christ did. I always say, "I ain't perfect but I'm connected to the One who is & His strength is perfected in my weakness."
I want to encourage you to take all of who you are and lay it at the feet of Jesus. Take your hurts, pains, issues, lipstick, handbags, image, job, boyfriend, your marriage and whatever else and lay it at the Father's feet. Is He pleased with it all? Or have you replaced those "things" with Him? We cannot afford to switch all hard around here in direct disobedience to God. It just isn't WORTH it.

While trying to be the perfect woman, you may find yourself sweeping your past hurts underneath the rug. As you sweep them under the rug and throw a smile on your face-- you've fooled everyone but what you don't realize is that that hurt is seeping out onto your face in the form of stress. It's seeping out in your words. It's seeping out in your relationships. You begin to charge everyone for what your past did to you. You must LET GO of whoever hurt you. You must stop trying to carry this mantle when Christ died so you could finally rest in HIM.

Matthew 11:29 ESV

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Exodus 33:14 ESV

And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.

It's amazing to me that as we read throughout the bible-- we find that Jesus is pleading for us to rest in Him. Then, we go and get this 5 year plan that we put together in our wicked heart that Christ had NOTHING to do with and slap it on the wall & throw a few scriptures on it and call it God. When did we get so busy? When did we replace His precious Spirit with the "make it happen independent attitude?!" Some of us are pursuing goals and dreams and we have gotten all dressed up and Jesus is our accessory. We sure look good in our disobedience. But our heart is a wreck & it's so far from Christ. I fear God. I fear standing before Him one day & He say this: "On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity"- Matthew 7:22-23. That scripture scares me. I don't want to ever think that I've figured life out. I don't want to ever long for this world more than I long for Christ. I don't ever want to get so caught up in myself that I do all these "Jesus" things but my heart is so far from Christ. I'm "busy" about just doing things that look good but Christ didn't tell me to do any of them. Just thinking of this HUMBLES me daily. You may think-- it doesn't take all this Heather-- you're too hard on yourself. No, I reverence and fear God. It DOES take all of that because you have the world that is pumping it's ways into your head 24-7 and if you aren't sitting before the Father-- at His feet, you can easily get caught up in this world. So, where is your heart... "perfect woman?" You cannot take your red bottoms, weave, cooking and job to heaven. Let's start seeking the One we cannot see & develop in the fruit of the Spirit (love, peace, joy, patience, self control.)

How do you do this?

Ask God to help you daily. Be content with your today. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Ask Him to help you to recognize when you're being tested so you can pass the test. Ask God to show you where you're wasting your time in life. Join a church or a Pinky Promise group for accountability. Stop beating yourself down from your past sin & turn from it and repent. PRIORITIZE- God first, then your husband, children, then ministry & your job. The bible calls a "perfect" or "ideal" woman one with CHARACTER & doesn't even mention her beauty (according to Proverbs 31.) Win people over with your QUIET & GENTLE spirit-- not your looks. (1 Peter 3:4) In Jeremiah 1:5 it says that our lives our pre-planned & organized so clearly-- there's a PATH laid out for you. Are you seeking Christ as HE leads you or are you leading YOURSELF & asking God to join you?

Few things:

1. So sorry that I haven't been blogging! Part of the joys of being a new mommy! Thanks for your patience as I balance life! ;-)

2. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

3. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts: www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

4. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 13,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

5. To purchase bracelets, cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store. JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: JESUS

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

(Newborn shoot! Logan is 4 weeks here!)

"Why I Became A Vegetarian"

2013-04-09T19:49:00.001-07:00

People ask me almost every single day "WHY are you a vegetarian?"-- and then they share their desire but struggle to eat less meat. This blog isn't an attempt to convert your meat eating ways, but since you decided to check it out.. I can share with you how I eat and live.
Just a little background, I haven't always been a vegetarian. I grew up eating meat here & there but for the most part, I didn't eat meat on a regular basis. My mother was a vegetarian so we didn't include meat in our daily life, however my dad ate meat so we would always have it on the holidays and here & there. As I got older and into my teen years, I would eat fast food (I used to throw down on big mac's in high school ha!) and whatever else I could get my hands on. In short, I ate TERRIBLE. I continued to eat terrible throughout college and when I moved to New York after graduation. After being in New York for 3 years, I decided to cut out white foods, dairy, sugar, soda, meat, fried foods, fast food and any sweets for an entire month. Shockingly, I lost 15-20 pounds in that ONE month! I was so surprised! I couldn't believe how those things caused so much weight gain. So- from that point forward, I started eating healthier again. I still ate meat but I just became very picky about my choices. I would only eat grass-fed organic beef and chicken and instead of farm raised salmon, I would opt for wild salmon so I started to slowly transition to the other side..

This is me right after the month diet in 2006!

I continued to eat meat for a few more years and everything changed in 2010. I tried the raw food diet. I think that many people are afraid to try the raw food diet or the vegetarian lifestyle because they don't know how or where to get their nutrients. It's vital that if you want to switch over, you have to have a plan. You have to create meals ahead of time or you'll end up just plain hungry & you will give up. In starting the raw food diet, I went online and pulled a ton of different recipes, went to my local Fresh Market & a Vegan Co-Op & I purchased everything on my list. I then when home and started trying different recipes. I was shocked to find out that raw vegan food was actually good! Sticking to the raw food diet after the month is possible but for me and my schedule, it wasn't realistic. I had started traveling more and preaching and I found that almost all restaurants cooked their food in butter so that immediately eliminated almost 99% of the foods I would be able to eat on the road. During that time, I still had the mindset that I would eat meat after the raw food diet.. so I tried to eat a piece of steak with some veggies. What a mistake! I FELT the meat working really hard to digest in my body! I was literally PRAYING that the food would quickly digest. I was tired, sluggish & I had no energy! From that day forward, I decided that I would never meat eat again (or, in a fun way of looking at it: Anything that had a mama or a family).

Through my research of eating better-- Vegetarians have been reported to have lower body mass indices than non-vegetarians, as well as lower rates of death from ischemic heart disease, lower blood cholesterol levels, lower blood pressure, and lower rates of hypertension, type 2 diabetes, and prostate and colon cancer. Not only that, Vegetarians age less quicker because our bodies don't use as many enzymes to digest our plant-based foods. Which means that our bodies will have to do LESS work-- which means that after we eat-- we won't be sluggish & tired! Think about Thanksgiving dinner, after you eat EVERYTHING... you have to go lay down because you're so tired! That's your body working EXTRA hard to digest all of the food you just ate.

I know that in order to do what God called me to do, I need energy. Not only energy but I want to look great doing it-- and I'm not saying that LOOKS are everything by any means because I think your spiritual development is what is most important. However, there's something about getting all dressed up and feeling healthy, working out and feeling good about yourself. It reflects in your confidence and attitude. Eating terrible makes you PHYSICALLY feel bad. Think about a super unhealthy meal like Pizza-- how did you feel after you ate it? Nobody ever says "that was a good idea." What you eat also says something about the discipline you have in your life. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit and we have to make sure that as we bow our heads to "ask God to bless our food & thank Him for it" that the food is really going fuel us as we accomplish the will of God for our life OR are we stuffing our faces with fried foods as we ask God to use the food to "nourish" our bodies?

Just look at your skin-- your skin is a direct reflection of what you're eating. When I switched from being a meat eater to a vegetarian, I broke out for about 6 months! I was shocked! Through research I found that my body was cleansing itself from all of the toxins that I had been eating from the past 20 years! Yuck! And it was all showing up on my face!! So, be sure to pick up a great concealer ladies! It's worth it though, after those 6 months, my skin was back to normal! So what did I do during that time? I tried different products but I ended up going with Murad from Sephora. You can help move the process along faster by going to getting a colonic. Do your research and make sure the place knows what they're doing!

So, what are the basic steps I think you should take to become a Vegetarian if you would like to be one? Here's a few tips.

1. Get a Vitamix. It's like the Bentley of Blenders. It's helpful because alot of the food you will make WILL be from scratch and you need a powerful blender. You can pick one up via QVC and pay in payments, go to Costco & find it for $379 or purchase it directly from Vitamix. If you cannot afford a great blender, its ok. I didn't start off with this blender--I started off with a basic blender & worked with what I could until my husband gave me the ok to get the Vitamix. (He had a hard time with the concept of a blender costing that much & he wanted to know that I would actually use it!).

2. Get a Food Processor. This will help you big time with mixing your foods, like veggie burgers, etc. You can find one at Bed Bath & Beyond (don't forget to use your 20% coupon!) or Target.

3. Google. Google is free, right? GOOGLE recipes! Look up the Raw Food Diet, Plant Based diets or Vegetarian recipes online. Get creative! Try out some new stuff!

4. Get a juicer. I have a Belleville juicer. It costs about $150 but I REALLY want an Omega Juicer. I'm still trying to convince my husband that it's a great purchase-- as it's the same price as the Vitamix. Nonetheless, the Belleville does the trick and there is a TON of leftover pulp but it doesn't go to waste!
Save your pulp & blend it in your smoothie or bake some muffins with it!

5. READ some books on it! I like the 80/10/10 book by Dr. Douglas Graham and The Beauty Detox Solution by Kimberly Synder. Both Raw Food Diet books but they will get you STARTED and provide meal plans. Also, watch "Forks Over Knives" via netflix! It's INTENSE!

6. Water. Water. Water. YOU have got to start drinking water. Juicing and blending is also great-- and honestly, throw out processed-store bought juice and make your own. That juice is packed with sugars! So, up your water intake and definitely stick to juicing/blending. I SWEAR by Essentia- Alkaline water. Best tasting water out there and it actually cleans out your system! I get mine from Whole Foods & as of late-- Amazon.com

7. Pass the test. You will get tested when you go out to eat with friends. EVERY restaurant has a veggie option. I know it may be tough-- and I've even ate at Steakhouses & just opted for 4 side dishes as they didn't have an option for me. Eating meat again is non-negotiable.

8. Ask God to take away the desire for meat & to help you to be creative. Who told you that you're in this battle against your flesh alone? God will and CAN help you. You're never alone. Even Christ was tempted with bread when he had fasted for 40 days. He's been tempted WITH food & He will give you a way OUT if you're struggling in this area. ("No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."- 1 Corinthians 10:13)

9. Don't get overwhelmed! You can ease into being a vegetarian by being a Pescetarian. Cut out everything but fish & then ease into it!

10. Don't listen to what everybody else has to say. When I became pregnant, everybody & their daddy was telling me that I needed to eat this & that in order to have a healthy baby-- including meat. I birthed a 10 pound 1 oz baby of pure muscle from this plant-based diet. Totally worth it. Do your OWN research & figure out what your body needs. You're going to have to put some energy into this to LEARN. It's WORTH it though and it will soon become like second nature.

As you can see, I've built up to being a vegetarian. I just didn't go cold turkey one day and I continue to learn and research new ideas and meals! And please note that I didn't have a blender, food processor, etc to start-- I just started & worked with what I had at that time. These tools are helpful to make yummy foods so get them at some point if you can.

I want to share with you all a couple of my favorite recipes!

Also, I'm a vegetarian, not a vegan. However, I do seek to eliminate dairy (like eggs) as much as possible.

1. When I first went vegetarian-- I missed my gravy. This recipe is Vegan Sweet Potato Biscuit and Vegan Apple Sausage Gravy After trying a ton of different recipes, I found this one to be the BEST and the base of the dish is Cashew Cream. Which is simply raw cashews placed in cold water overnight and then drained, and blended in your blender with cold water (enough water to cover the cashews + 1 inch).

Sweet Potato Biscuits and Apple Sausage Gravy
Makes 16-18 biscuits

Sweet Potato Biscuits

4 cups all purpose flour
2 Tbs baking powder
2 tsp salt
1 cup vegan buttery spread/margarine, cut into 4 pieces
1 cup cooked and mashed sweet potato (or canned)
1 1/2 cup cashew cream (thick)
1 Tbs apple cider vinegar (optional)
Buttery Spread/Margarine for brushing

Apple Sausage Gravy

1 apple, cored and finely chopped
1/2 package GimmeLean Vegan Sausage, crumbled
4 Tbs vegan buttery spread/margarine
2 Tbs flour
1 cup cashew cream
1 tsp garlic powder
salt to taste
Fresh parsley to garnish

(To make vegan buttermilk, we need to curdle a non dairy cream. This is why I have apple cider vinegar as optional. If you do not have the vinegar, use thicker cashew cream.)

Preheat oven to 425. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

Add vinegar to cashew cream and stir. Let sit for a few minutes to curdle and make “buttermilk”.

Combine all dry ingredients for the biscuits in a large bowl. Cut in buttery spread with pastry blender or pulse in a food processor until mixture is crumbly.

Add mashed sweet potato to “buttermilk” and then add this wet mixture to the dry one. Stir until just combined. DO NOT OVERMIX.

Knead dough on a floured surface a few times and then pat with your hands to a 1/2 inch thickness.

Use a round cookie cutter to get your biscuits ready to bake. Put biscuits on your baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes. Brush margarine over top before serving.

While biscuits are baking, make your gravy. Start by pan-searing your diced apple in 1 tablespoon of buttery spread on medium-high until it is soft and begins to lightly brown. Remove and set aside. In the same pan, add sausage crumbles and cook until crisp. Set aside with apples.

In a saucepan on medium, add buttery spread and melt. Add flour and whisk to make a roux. Cook for one minute, and add your cashew cream. Lower heat to med-low and whisk until gravy has thickened. Add garlic, salt, and majority of sausage and apple, reserving some pieces of each to use for garnish.

Top biscuits with gravy and then a few pieces of apple and sausage. Sprinkle parsley and share with your family!

****A note on Cashew Cream: I use cashew cream in all of my savory recipes because it’s simply better than other non-dairy milks. The fat ratios are similar to dairy cream/milk, and it’s easy to control the thickness of the cashew cream by using your own high-powered blender. Especially when it comes to white gravies, please don’t use almond/rice/soy milk! Cashew cream has helped me convert many dairy-lovers. If you do not own a Vitamix/Blendtec/etc, you can still use cashew cream by soaking raw cashews for a few hours before use.****

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Here's another favorite! I made this veggie burger tonight and it was by FAR the best tasting veggie burger I've ever had (with the exception of a veggie burger I had at a spa in Scottsdale, AZ). I couldn't believe that I MADE it! It was so flavorful! Granted, you're going to spend a long time making it AND gathering everything, but it's really worth it!

1 cup dry TVP (textured vegetable protein) I like "Gimmie Lean Beef Style Vegan Protein"
3/4 cup hot water
1 cup grated zucchini (from about 1 medium zucchini)
1 teaspoon kosher salt
4 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup minced yellow onion (from about 1/2 medium onion)
1 medium garlic clove, minced
3/4 cup grated carrot (from about 1 carrot)
1/3 cup peeled, shredded red beet (from about 1/2 large beet)
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sunflower seeds
2 teaspoons tomato paste
2 teaspoons ground mustard, such as Colman’s
1 1/2 cups cooked short-grain brown rice (about 3/4 cup dry)
2/3 cup cooked brown lentils (about 1/4 cup dry)
2 tablespoons minced Italian parsley leaves
1 tablespoon dried thyme
1 cup coarse whole-wheat panko, such as Ian’s
3/4 cup sliced cremini mushrooms
1 large egg
1 large egg white
3 tablespoons tamari or soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
7 whole-wheat buns or kaiser rolls, for serving
INSTRUCTIONS
In a medium bowl, combine the TVP and water. Stir and set aside until ready to use.
Toss the zucchini with 1/2 teaspoon of the salt and place in a colander or strainer set over a bowl to drain, at least 10 minutes. Squeeze the zucchini to release any excess water, then set aside, discarding the liquid.
Heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil in a small frying pan over medium heat. When it shimmers, add the onion and garlic and cook until the vegetables are soft and translucent, about 5 to 6 minutes.
In a large mixing bowl, combine 1 cup of the soaked TVP mixture, the zucchini, carrot, beet, 1/4 cup of the sunflower seeds, the tomato paste, ground mustard, 3/4 cup of the brown rice, 1/4 cup of the lentils, the parsley, thyme, and 1/2 cup of the panko. Add the sautéed onion and garlic and mix well; set aside.
Heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil in the same frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, until tender and nicely browned, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat.
Transfer the mushrooms to the bowl of a food processor; add the egg, egg white, tamari, pepper, and remaining salt, TVP, sunflower seeds, brown rice, lentils, and panko. Process until the mixture is well combined and uniform, about 30 to 45 seconds. (The mixture will not be smooth.)
Add the puréed mushroom mixture to the reserved TVP mixture and combine well (using your hands works best). Form into 7 patties (about 3/4 cup each) and place on a baking sheet. Heat the remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil in a large nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat. Add 3 patties to the pan and brown on one side, about 6 to 7 minutes; flip and continue cooking until the burgers are crispy and heated through, about 5 to 6 minutes more. Repeat with the remaining patties and serve on whole-wheat buns or kaiser rolls with your favorite toppings.

This is just a couple of my favorites! I also love my Green Smoothie that I drink daily and my Butternut Squash mac & cheese!

Couple easy switches:
1. Lawry's salt to Himalayan Salt
2. Vegetable Oil to Unrefined Coconut Oil
3. Regular butter to Vegan Butter
4. Regular Milk to Almond or Rice Milk
5. Vitamin Water to your own flavored fresh water (ie. cucumbers, basil, watermelon water or lemon water- just place these items in your water for easy flavorings)
6. White rice to Quinoa
7. Fried foods to grilled foods
8. Eat a salad before each meal to help fill you up!
9. Don't miscombine foods. Meaning, don't eat meat with starches (pasta, bread, etc)-- it takes too long for your body to digest it. So if you're going to eat meat, eat it will veggies. If you're going to eat pasta, eat it will veggies.
10. Regular cheese with Nutritional Yeast or Draiya Vegan Cheese

Other quick go-to-meals
1. Coconut rice & plantains with veggies. Just cook brown rice in coconut milk and vanilla almond milk until soft. Set aside. Cut plantains and veggies and sautee-- serve and drizzling honey & celtic salt.

2. Avocado & Tomato Sandwich. Vegan butter on both sides of wheat bread with a little bit of honey. Avocado & tomato inside and place on panini presser for 2 minutes

3. Sweet Potato & Black Bean Burrito Wrap. Cook Sweet potato's by boiling them for 20 minutes. Soak black beans overnight in cold water, cook next day. Mix them together & put them in whole wheat wrap. Season and roll the wraps and place them in the stove at 350 for 15 minutes or until cooked. Drizzle salsa on top & serve!

Pray that this helps you in your journey! Love you all!

Few reminders:
1. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts: www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 12,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

4. To purchase cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store. JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: LOGAN. -- (how fitting!)

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

This is me just 2 weeks after giving birth! I charge it to working out & eating healthy pre-pregnancy and during my pregnancy!

"When I No Longer Desire God"

2013-03-22T12:04:00.003-07:00

Ever felt like.. you knew that you were supposed to spend time with God, read your bible, pray & do all these "things" and you had the right intentions in doing so.. but as you went about your day, it didn't happen. You thought about it. You felt conviction. You felt God's spirit tugging on you; but you never sat down & just experienced His presence. Then, as the day went to a close and you sat down to watch your favorite show, you said- "It's ok, God loves me and I'll just do better tomorrow." This cycle continues for weeks and it turns into months. You begin to see yourself change from a sweet and patient person to a irritated and impatient woman. You start to gossip a little more, watch a few more shows that you wouldn't usually watch, listen to a little Beyonce (and please, let's stop defending her like she's God. The bible says a tree is identified by their FRUIT.), curse a little there-- you know, your standards begin to adjust. Your guards have been dropped and you are calling yourself a Christian but you cannot figure out why you're miserable. Guess what?

You no longer desire God.

You see, you desire the music, the shows, the TV, the little boyfriend rubbing on your thigh, the silly unhealthy friendships, the lying, the gossip. You desire those things. You may say that you don't desire them but the way you prioritize your day shows me what is important to you. It shows me where you place your value. It shows me what you're thinking about it. It shows me and .. let's replace "me" with "God" where your HEART is.. you think it's in Him but it's not. Just because you have good intentions doesn't mean anything until you start taking those good intentions & doing something different.

Let's look at it like this: You're married and throughout the day, you talk to your husband, text him, make plans for the future, go on date nights- you are very intentional about developing and desiring Him. You WANT your husband because you continue to water & nourish that tree. Why is it that we enter into a relationship with Christ & we don't talk to Him, don't spend time with Him, aren't intentional but then we wonder why we don't desire a "deeper" relationship with Him? What also begins to happen is even if your ignorance, the Holy Spirit begins to tug at you to REMIND you to spend time with God and show you your empty voids. You will either adjust and make time for God or, you'll go & seek things to fulfill that void in your heart. You may go have sex, text some guy you know is a hot mess, go back into your past because it appeared more comfortable (it lied), go shopping (you know) and seek fulfillment in something to cover up that hole.

I can save you time, energy, heartache & hurt by reminding you that you'll never be satisfied until you get back to that place of being intentional & seeking Christ daily. You can run to try to find you another "mentor", preacher or whoever else to make you feel better about yourself and spoon-fed you OR you can start to woman-up and be the woman that God called you to be and go get on your FACE before God. It's time out for this foolishness sisters!! We have GOT to do better. How can we continue to exchange God's magnificent presence for the presence of some man that doesn't care about you or some job that you're not even supposed to be at? We have GOT to get back to this place of sitting at the feet of JESUS. It's great that you have your accountability sisters and that you remind each other to spend time with God but let's get to a place where we don't have to be reminded anymore. What if I had to remind you to spend time with your husband? Most likely 1. Your husband would get upset that he wasn't a priority 2. And wonder why the heck do you have to be reminded by another woman to spend time with him. Why is it that we get saved & have to constantly be reminded to spend time with God as if it's a burden? You don't have to be constantly reminded to spend time with someone you LOVE & is FIRST. The answer to the clear question is: You no longer desire God. And let me be clear, there's nothing wrong with accountability but at some point, we must move from "have to spend time with God" to "I get to spend time with God."

I just gave birth to our son, Logan William Lindsey on 3/13/13 (praise God! ;-) And I learned VERY quickly that the sleepless nights & "sleeping" when he is sleeping is crucial. I also found that even in these past few days, I hadn't been spending as much time as I used to spend with God even just days ago. It convicted me. I said.. Lord, I am spending time with the one that is most important to me. Don't ever let me make an idol of my son, even in my lack of sleep & exhaustion. God, help me to want you more than anything or anyone else.

So, what has come into your life and replaced God? I could have very well made my son an idol by giving him my attention 24-7 and made an excuse about my son being a newborn or whatever else. I cannot afford to make that choice, no matter how "sleepy" I am. Reminds me of Matthew 10:37 "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." This is referring to family but we could very well replace father or mother with job, money, a boyfriend, a husband or whatever else. I'm sure Matthew used this reference because these people are usually the ones closest to you. It is BECAUSE of my SON I NEED to spend time with God. It's BECAUSE of my job I NEED to spend time with God. You see, I cannot properly FUNCTION in these roles as a wife, mother, business owner, friend or whatever else if life isn't in PROPER order with CHRIST first.

Hebrews 5:12 says it nicely: "In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!" -- You're going to church, been saved for a bit, joined a Pinky Promise group-- it's TIME TO GROW! Just "doing" these things doesn't mean anything. The question is: When the rubber meets the road & you have a choice to choose GOD vs. something else.. what do you choose?

God pressed it heavy on my heart that people also don't desire Him because life HURTS them and they BLAME Him. We cannot turn our hearts away from the only One that can help us. If life has hit you hard, know that God is close to those that have a broken heart (psalms 34:18) & He is READY to take you back into His arms. STOP running from HIM. HE will use everything that you've been through to bring Him glory. So ask Him to break your hardened heart. Forgive whoever has hurt you. Stop looking at your hurt & start looking at CHRIST.

In short, when you don't desire God.. it's because He is no longer the object of your affection. Want to desire God? Get back to the heart of worship. Get back to that place where you craved Him when you first got saved. Get back to that place of worship. Get RID of anything or anyone that is hindering you. THEN, stay there. Renew your mind. Turn off garbage. Ask God to wreck you daily. This walk isn't a 100 meter sprint.. it's a marathon, so if you expect microwave results, you won't find them in Christianity. You must stay in that place of worship and trusting God no matter what is going on in your life. Let's all make a commitment to get back to this place of worship, starting now.

Few reminders:
1. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts: www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 11,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

4. To purchase cross rings, my book, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store . JUST for visiting this blog, I'll give you 10% off! Use the code: LOGAN. -- (how fitting!)

P.S. If you've asked me questions on here-- know that I'm not ignoring you! I get THOUSANDS of emails & questions and it's super hard to get to each one. Thanks for your patience during this busy time!

Love you all madly,
Heather Lindsey

"Sloppy Words"

2013-03-05T18:06:00.002-08:00

As I near the end of my pregnancy (39 weeks) I have found that just because you're pregnant, people don't tell you their beautiful pregnancy and labor stories-- they tell you the most horrific, crazy experiences that they went through and their mama went through. It's almost like you have a sign on your head at the grocery store that says: "I want to hear your worst experiences." As with anything in life, you MUST guard your heart against what people SAY. Why are we walking around just "signing for everybody's sorry packages" about our LIFE? The bible gives us FULL instructions on HOW to LIVE regarding being single, married, raising children, dealing with family members, working on your job & EVERYTHING else. Why do we RUN to all these other sources and ignore the MAIN source of life? I don't know about you but I don't have time to entertain the lies of this world. So, in light of me giving birth and just reflecting on everything over the past 9 months, I want to remind you of the following:

1. Humans don't know everything. There's no formula for ANYTHING. What may work for someone else (they met their hubby at church, one person may give birth at 38 weeks vs. 40 weeks) may NOT work for you. Be VERY selective in what you allow to be planted in your heart. You may meet your God-fearing, fine husband at the mall or at the grocery store! Why would you limit the God of Israel based on what you can see? God can IMPORT a man, He can OPEN up a barren womb, He can OPEN up a position at a company JUST for YOU. Just because this can be true, it cannot be your FOCUS. Our focus is on CHRIST. You never know. Even in my own life, my husband and I were pregnant in March of 2011 and we were excited until we found out that the sac was empty at the first ultrasound. There was no child-- just a growing sac. My body rejected the sac in May 2011 and I went through a painful miscarriage of the sac. I experienced ALL the things that came with pregnancy (symptoms) but had no child to show for it. I continued to experience problems with my body for a few more months. When we got pregnant again and found out in June of 2012.. I had a choice. I could sit around and FEAR that there wouldn't be a child or understand Ecclesiastes 3:2 that says there's a "time to be born." It wasn't my TIME to get pregnant OR for my son to be born and NOW I understand it! Pinky Promise started in January 2012 & I'm confident if I would have given birth in November 2011 that I would have been TOO busy to focus on a brand new ministry which as taken up a ton of my time! I had to LEARN to trust God's timing. PERIOD.

2. If you don't know the bible for yourself, someone will feed you their opinions. It's simple, if you don't have a standard then someone else will set it for you. You can't just let people's words & opinions push you around like the wind!! Can you compare to a piece of paper that is being tossed around by the wind.. kinda going wherever the weather pushes it? Or are you like that TREE that is planted by the rivers of water that brings forth fruit in it's season and its leaf doesn't wither and whatever it does -- does well? (Psalm 1:3). So STUDY the bible DAILY. Look up scriptures on things that you struggle with-- don't just walk around blind to what the bible says, accepting what everyone tells you!

3. Fear. For example, if you're believing God for a husband, pregnancy, salvation for your husband, a change in your child or whatever the case, you must hold on to what you believe to be true. It's because of your aunt's 4th divorced advice, you think that marriage would never work. It's because your girlfriends son who is the same age as your son.. and "this & that happened to him" so now the idea has been introduced in your heart and in the back of your mind, fear is growing and your faith is being attacked. We should listen to stories of HOPE and be encouraged that God hasn't forgotten about us! Don't let these silly distractions have you so messed up that you're believing the lie more than you're believing God's truth!

4. Stop watching Scandal. Ok. Scandal is JUST an example and I've never watched the show. But based on what people tweet and post about.. it sounds like there's some adultery & sex scenes. So as you lay down tonight, whether single or married you could 1. Wish you had someone with you that you aren't married to OR 2. You're married but now you're imagining yourself sexually with someone from your past. You may not get attacked right away but a seed was PLANTED. One day, your husband just won't be good enough, being single & just "trusting God" won't be as enticing especially since you've been waiting soooo long. You may think that I'm extreme. You may think that it doesn't "take all that." But living for Christ will cost you your LIFE. Satan is SEARCHING for an open door in your heart & you GIVE him an open door & then you DEFEND the open door. There's other silly shows out there that are filled with drama, unhealthy friendships and so much more. Guard your heart against these things. Turn off your cable. Do your part. This goes for music as well. I know you love your Beyonce but she's framing your thinking. And please, don't send me emails challenging your music- if God hasn't already convicted you-- go to Him & ask Him His thoughts on it. :)

5. YOUR part. Ok, sis- You have a responsibility. Yes, you do. What do you spend your time doing? Do you spend 14 hours on facebook, 8 hours of your day at work or school, an hour working out and then you open up your bible for 5 minutes to read 1 scripture and think that you're approved? Do you just go to church on Sunday to get your fix.. but ignore God the rest of the week? Do you only go to God when you're heartbroken or down or do you constantly seek and PURSUE Him? What if someone only came to you when they needed something? Wouldn't you feel .. a bit used? Do you really want a relationship with God or do you want what you think He can do for you? God has a personality.. a heart. He grieves. He cares. He's jealous for YOU. You must spend time with God daily. Do your PART. Remember, we spend time with God for OUR good, not for "His good." HE IS GOD.

As I mentioned above, I'm about to give birth! :) I am currently writing a book on how to stay fit & fabulous pregnant so I cannot wait to share it!! I am going to try to keep you all updated on Baby Boy Lindsey but grace me as I get adjusted to mommy-hood!

1. If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA- in Theatre 6.

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts: www.PinkLipsAndEmptyHearts.com

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 11,000 ladies that have joined! Find a group near you by joining & checking out the intro page! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

4. To purchase cross rings, tote bags, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store

P.S. If you've asked me questions on here-- know that I'm not ignoring you! I get THOUSANDS of emails & questions and it's super hard to get to each one. Thanks for your patience during this busy time!

God loves you like crazy!

Heather Lindsey

Valentines Day: Single Awareness Day?

2013-02-14T08:04:00.002-08:00

So, February 14th has rolled around and you're single again. You may have a few quick thoughts about it.

1. Dang, I'm single again & it's another stupid holiday where I have to hear about peoples love for each other.

2. Forget a relationship, there's no good men out there.

3. I'm content in Christ. (talking yourself into it)

4. No, really-- I'm chilling. I trust God's timing & I've TRIED to make it happen by myself & it doesn't work-- so I'm really trusting Him. (And you really mean it)

And in all honesty, you're probably thinking-- Heather cannot understand what I am going through because she's married. Honey, I've been single. I had to be single at one point in order to get married. And if I was single, you would probably say: "How can you speak on what I'm going through & you single with me- you don't have a man!" I'm writing this very blog because I understand what you're going through. I know that feeling and those thoughts that pop in your head & say "How much longer, God?" or "When is my time?" You may look around you and see a bunch of standard less men & think-- will I ever meet a guy that actually .. loves God, won't screw me, recognizes his purpose & really lives for Christ?? YES! IT IS SO POSSIBLE!!!!! The question is, are you going to have a pair of thighs in your bed tonight as you deal with your loneliness OR are you going to sit at the feet of Christ and enjoy Him?

You cannot get so tired of being single that you settle and go out with some random man today or any other day-- "just to do something." You will go out to the restaurant and see all of these other happy couples and it will make you want what they have. You'll compare your life to their life as you snuggle up to this man that you know is more interested in taking you home & exploring your body than setting boundaries and actually living by them. You really don't know him, but you tonight is fun to you because you can pretend that you have a real relationship. Then, after dinner-- you'll go back and forth with yourself on the ride home. Should I invite him up? Should I not? Gosh, he's fine. We're having such a good time. He makes me laugh. I don't want this night to end! So now, your emotions are leading your life. So, you'll invite him upstairs. I mean, you're not really going to do anything, right? You have this under control. So you're upstairs and you know it's wrong. Yes. You. With your arms raised in the church, serving the Lord on Sunday. You don't want to do it (so you say). But your actions prove otherwise. Your actions prove that you want what pleases your flesh. You are tired of being alone and it's much better to feel temporary pleasure than to deal with feeling lonely. So, one thing leads to the next & you end up having sex with him.

Then, the overwhelming guilt overwhelms you. WHY WHY WHY you ask yourself! WHY did I fall yet again to this same temptation?!??! WHY can't I just live for Christ? Why can't I meet anyone who will wait for me & honor my body? And WHY did his phone ring afterward at 3AM from some chick named Tiffany who cannot wait to see him again soon & do dirty things to him? And you didn't have a condom- but whatever you think. You begin to not even care about your own body. You think God hates you when He really loves you. You think that you'll never be forgiven so you don't bother repenting.

Three months later. You find out you have a STD and you're pregnant and you haven't heard from him since that day. He's changed his number and you have a baby on the way. You're about to be a single mother and this was never the plan.

If only you knew the end from the beginning. If only you knew, you would never, ever would have gone out with Him. Let's evaluate a few things.

1. Most likely, the Holy Spirit told you NOT to go out on that date. It's like.. you got this check in your spirit. But you rationalized and ignored it. A little date won't hurt anybody. When God checks you-- HE is WARNING you. You have to listen to that gut check in your stomach.

2. Then, when the thoughts began to pop in your head & even consider having sex with the man, you should have 2 Corinthians 10:5 those thoughts by "Casting down every thought that is contrary to God's word by speaking the Word over your life." Just because you messed up and when on the date doesn't mean you continue in your sin & throw out the bible. Fight BACK.

3. Then, we have to look at 1 Corinthians 10:13- "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." So, God is saying that I WILL GIVE YOU A WAY OUT!! Don't GIVE IN!! Even if you are in a so-called committed relationship, having sex outside of marriage will NEVER glorify God. If you want to be committed to each other- prove it & get married. Don't feed me the "we only have sex with each other lie"-- because you've made each other your gods & are using worldly reasons for not getting married. The bible tells us to flee fornication. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." (1 Corinthians 6:18)

4. Now, you have a STD & a child on the way. Don't beat yourself down, prayerfully-- you can get medicine and believe God for your healing. Hopefully it's curable. There ARE consequences for disobedience to God and although God may be forgiving and loving-- HIV, Herpes & AIDS may not be. The Lord has a plan for your child & so repent of your past sin and raise that child to learn and know Christ.

5. Bet you didn't think all of the above would happen based on a little date? I want to encourage you to be God-led in every decision that you make. Talk to the Holy Spirit. Vent and be honest-- Tell Him you want a spouse! Tell Him you want to do it His way & then start actually LIVING like it. If your one day husband did happen to walk by your home, would he see you getting out of the car & going into the house with some man super late? Are you avoiding the appearance of evil? Can God even BRING your spouse or is that seat always taken by Jimmy, Tom and Dejuan?

Some of you may think I'm too deep. Saying, it doesn't take all that Heather! Actually, it does take all that. God commands us to be holy as He is holy!! Why do we think we can belittle the holiness of God based on our limited mindset???!

Now, you have a choice. You can either be single God's way or single the worlds way. If you want to be single God's way, then today is a beautiful day because you know at the right TIME, you'll be in a relationship. It's just NOT your time yet. So you'll stay off of Facebook, Instagram or whatever else distracts you today into feeling sorry for being single. You must guard your heart at all times. You won't watch Scandal & other sex-adultry-driven shows because you're working on something and you cannot afford to plant those things in your heart. You will ENJOY this season because you know its temporary and each season in your life builds up to the next one.

Or, you can be single the worlds way. Go find you a date on Match.com, get you some sex and suffer the consequences. You may not see yourself suffering right away-- but when you're living outside God's will for your life and taking your life into your OWN hands, you will suffer. "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 14:12. So what "seems right to you?" Does having sex outside of marriage "seem" right? Does dating randoms "seems right?" Does staying with that unsaved guy "seem" right because you're trying to get him saved? What lie have you picked up over the years and called it your truth? Just because you BELIEVED the lie in your head doesn't mean that God agrees with it.

If you really want God's best for your life, it's going to cost you something. Stop skipping around here & living the way that you want to live.. & then wonder why life isn't working for you. Go back to your FIRST love. "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love" - Revelation 2:4 Many people will celebrate today and wish they were in your shoes if they were single. They WISH the would have slowed down, trusted God & NOT married the person they married. They had all of the warning signs but instead-- they ignored them. They liked the IMAGE of but didn't understand the work & effort that went into it.

Today & everyday after is what you make it. I would have never met my husband if I kept me a little boyfriend on the side. How can God trust me with one of His sons if I wasn't one of His daughters? We can say we want a godly man-- but if we continue to cuss like a sailor, drop it like everything is hot, argue with everyone, sleep with everyone... we're showing who our father really is. We will attract the same kind of man based on how we act & live. Just "saying" you're a daughter doesn't make you one. How you live this life identifies WHO your father really is.

Few reminders:
My husband wrote an amazing book, "So, You Want To Be Married" & you can find it here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com. It ties in with what I wrote above & so much more.

If you need accountability, JOIN a Pinky Promise group. You can find a group in your local area-- there's over 10,000 women that have joined in the past year. www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can find fabulous purity rings and bracelets that remind you of your decision to honor God here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com And just for reading today's blog- you'll get 10% off of your order. Use the discount code LOVE

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Your Price Tag"

2013-02-04T10:41:00.001-08:00

So, what's your price tag? Don't look at me like you don't have one. A price tag is the amount that a person will pay for YOU to get you to drop your standards. It doesn't have to be money either honey as you look down on women that strip or prostitute themselves to men. It could be comfort from loneliness, it could be a fine man, it could be a "bad boy," a man that serves in church, the desire to no longer be single because your clock is ticking, it could be the fear of losing friends so you go out & get drunk with them and you know it ain't right. It could be attention from a man that works in a certain occupation- like a pastor, athlete, lawyer or whatever else. It could be spending your entire check on a purse so when you hang around certain girls-- they will approve of you.

Who can get you to CHANGE their standards??? Who or what can do just that "one" thing that takes you from lifting your hands on Sunday morning to falling into sin??? And let's be clear honey, you didn't fall into that sin-- you walked right into it. You say you love Jesus.. and it just makes you frustrated at how you keep ended up in that bed, overspending or waking up from that hang-over. Why is it that you go from singing "I surrender all" on Sundays to "Put a ring on it" by Beyonce on Monday?

Let's be clear, NO person on this entire earth should be able to CHANGE your STANDARDS. No MAN. No WOMAN. No JOB. No NOTHING. If you aren't fully persuaded that you're strong enough to have standards in your relationships and friendships then you should pull away for a season until you're more persuaded by God than you are a human. Because what will happen is this: Your friends and your little boyfriend will determine your life. They will determine when you have sex, when you party, when you drink, when you do whatever else. All the while, you really don't wan to do these things. You KNOW it's wrong but deep down... you just don't know how to stop. You don't know how to tell anyone NO in fear of rejection. Then, you will get into a car accident and die and stand before God. He will say: Why didn't you do what I called you to do? And you will bow your head.. and say.. "But.. I didn't want to displease anyone." Christ will look at you with tears in His eyes & say.. "My daughter, you made those people, things your god. When they called, you answered. When they told you to do this, you did it. When they told you to do that- you obeyed. When I called you-- you ignored Me, rejected my instructions and with deep sorrow.. I have to say... get away from Me. I never KNEW you." (Matthew 7:23).

I sense such an urgency in the body of Christ. We are being pushed around by the wind by those we spend our time with. We have forgotten about God and replaced Him with the opinions of this silly world. We have devalued our worth and opened up our hearts to silly music and TV shows that have set our standards FOR us. It should bring great CONVICTION to you to listen to certain music. It should bring great CONVICTION to you if you hang out with certain girls. If it doesn't- I pray that you sit before the Lord and ask Him to break your heart for what breaks His heart. The danger in no longer being convicted of your lifestyle is this: Your heart has been hardened to sin & you've turned away from God. You've turned your heart from Him to the shows, the men, the job, the approval, that whatever else. You still go to church on Sunday, get your emotional fix and leave feeling approved that you did your "good" deed for the day. Then, you don't touch your bible again until you get in your car on Sunday and head to church. It is a sign that you NO long BELONG to Him because you no longer CARE. And.. you call yourself a Christian.

So.. what makes you think attending church is going to make you righteous?? Although you confess God as your Savior; your LIFE demonstrates that your heart belongs to Satan. Yes, I said it. Satan. You like his music. You like his sons. You like his places to go (clubs, strip clubs). You like his daughters. You like his hate. You like his unforgiveness. You like his homosexuality. You like his pornography. You like his clothes. You like his adultery. You like his gossip. You like his shacking up. You like his sex outside of marriage. If you really believed in your heart that Jesus was Lord you would HATE the sin you once LOVED. You would intentionally PURSUE GOD and STOP pursuing SIN!! This doesn't mean you're perfect- it just means that you refuse to pull your pants down for that random man! It just means you turn that stupid music off when you're tempted to bounce to it. You turn off the TV and sit at the feet of Christ and repent DAILY!! You're intentionally PURSING GOD DAILY!!!

Sis, I'm crying out to you. Crying out that you let go of whoever is pushing you around. Let go of the distractions. Let go of whatever is causing you to STUMBLE. If you only knew the destination of the sin that you're in.. you would never entertain it. You would run from it. You would hate it. Satan never shows you the end.. he only entices you with what you can see, hear, touch & feel...

As you read this-- understand that you cannot wait for your feelings to agree with the decision to live for God. You have to do what you know is RIGHT and your feelings with CATCH up. So, pick up the phone and shut it down, cut it off-- do what you have to do. You cannot afford to live a life outside of Christ ANYMORE. Read my blog on "How to Spend time with God"-- start there. Find a local church that preaches the word of God, pure and uncut. Obey God quickly with what He tells you to do. You seriously HAVE to start SOMEONE. Start right NOW. When you make a decision to live for Christ, HE will HELP you and MEET you right there.

I am praying for you & agreeing with YOU.

If you live in Atlanta, I want to invite you to our church. Join us on Sundays at 11:00am at Landmark Art Cinemas. Our churches name is: "The Gathering Oasis" (there's another church that holds service there too). 931 Monroe Drive NE Atlanta, GA.

You can find my new book here: www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com called "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts."

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Help me to Forgive"

2013-01-21T13:38:00.000-08:00

Ever been hurt by someone that you really love? This isn't some type of "drive-by" hurt as you're driving and someone beeps their horn at you & gives you a middle finger. But this is someone you have cultivated and developed a relationship with & they HURT you. I mean really hurt you. To the point.. where it completely questioned your relationship with them. So.. what do you do when you get wrecked like this? I mean, you love Jesus. You go to church. You try to live for Him. You said that you forgave that person. But the thought of them still makes you roll your eyes. You don't know how to let go of the pain even though you verbally forgave them. They cheated on you. They abused you. They talked about you. They stole from you. They left you. They ruined your trust. They really messed up. They really broke your heart. Do they KNOW how bad they hurt you? Do they KNOW the pain they have caused in your heart? You felt like you were a good friend, wife, husband, or whatever else and you don't feel like you deserve that treatment.

I have experienced that pain. Some of you have gone through some really deep rooted pain that I will never understand. I could never totally understand your shoes because I didn't have to walk in them. Although I had my own share of hurt and pain-- I do know this: as Christians, we can have a different perspective in the midst of our hurt. Remember, you are NOT like this world. Your standard comes from the Lord so your RESPONSE to the hurt must be different. This doesn't mean that you have to run and be best friends with the girl that stole your boyfriend or the woman that crossed you the wrong way because God can reveal certain things in people as a warning to you. What do I mean by warning? As I mentioned before.. everyone cannot be your friend. Some relationships are seasonal and you cannot afford to bring people that are unqualified into the next season of your life. Does this mean you hate them? No! Does this mean that you should try to open a door in that relationship because it's the "right" thing? No! It means that you should be God-led in who you surround yourself with but be QUICK to forgive them. And let me throw this in there.. just because you miss a person.. doesn't mean that they are supposed to be in your LIFE. We must constantly check our emotions to make sure that they are in LINE with where God is taking us.

I'm telling you that you can forgive whoever hurt you. You can seriously from the bottom of your heart let it go. How? Because Christ forgave YOU. That may sound like a cliche but how is it that we are so humbled and broken before God over our own sins against Him and we want immediate freedom from whatever.. but the second somebody wrongs us; we hold onto that hurt. "They need to PAY for what they did, right?" What if Christ made you pay for the way you treat Him? You would never rest as you carried around a burden of guilt. And most of you carry that burden around. You don't think that Christ really forgave YOU so you aren't really forgiving anybody else. When you refuse to forgive other people, it's like you are drinking poison, praying for someone else to die. That poison is getting into your blood stream and it's eating you alive from the inside out. And all the while.. you think that you are charging someone else for the way they hurt you-- but not only did they hurt you, but now they're living rent-free in your head. And most likely, that person isn't even THINKING about you or what happen. They have moved on and are going about their life and bitterness is eating you away. You see them on facebook and they're so happy.. and seeing their life. Seeing them makes you even more bitter.

How is it that you believe in forgiveness for yourself but refuse to give it to anybody else? How is it that you hold yourself to a higher standard as if forgiveness only applies to you and nobody else? How is that we want Christ more but we hate our sister or brother in Christ? How can we move on in our "ministries, callings, purpose" or whatever else if we are carrying all of this BAGGAGE?? Sis & bro.. GOD wants your HEART. So before you run & try to start a ministry you need to run & sit at the feet of Jesus and let Him HEAL your broken heart.( Psalm 147:3)

Jesus said we are to forgive others “seventy times seven” in response to Peter’s question, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" (Matthew 18:21-22). To fully understand what Jesus was saying, we must look at the context of the whole chapter, for Jesus was speaking not only about forgiving one another, but about Christian character, both in and out of the church. If you read that chapter, Peter, wishing to appear especially forgiving and "righteous" asked Jesus if forgiveness was to be offered seven times. The Jewish rabbis at the time taught that forgiving someone more than three times was unnecessary so Jesus had to clear it up! (referring to Amos 1:3-13 where God forgave Israel’s enemies three times, then punished them) By offering forgiveness more than double that of the Old Testament example, Peter most likely expected extra praise from the Lord as he appeared to be forgiving & loving. When Jesus responded that forgiveness should be offered four hundred and ninety times, which was WAY beyond that which Peter was proposing, it must have SHOCKED the disciples who were listening. Although they had been with Jesus for some time, they were still thinking in the limited terms of the law, rather than in the unlimited terms of grace. I believe that most of us are still stuck in the terms of the law. Saying, I'm going to forgive you this many times and after that-- that's IT! After that, I will NEVER forgive you. Can you do a heartcheck to see if there's anyone in your life that you've intentionally refused to forgive? Are you waiting for someone to "earn" your grace?

By saying we are to forgive those who sin against us seventy times seven, Jesus was not limiting forgiveness to 490 times-- He was saying there IS no number to how many times we can forgive. We as Christians with forgiving hearts not only do not limit the number of times WE forgive; we must continue to forgive with as much grace the thousandth time as they do the first time. WE are only capable of this type of forgiving spirit because the Spirit of God lives within us, and it is He who provides the ABILITY to offer forgiveness over and over, just as God forgives us over and over. So it's NO longer in YOUR ability to forgive whoever hurt you! It's in CHRIST'S ABILITY. The Holy Spirit will HELP you! You have to stop trying to forgive everyone in your flesh. It just won't work. You may be reading this and think that it's impossible to forgive someone. You're RIGHT. In your own way of thinking.. it IS. But through Christ, you can truly let it GO.

Let's check out a few scenarios!

1. Some of you may have been betrayed by a a spouse or a friend. What do you do? How do you forgive and trust your spouse again after the hurt?
Answer: You should learn to have amnesia in your marriage or friendships that are God-ordained. This doesn't mean you throw everything under the rug and never address everything.. it just means that EVERYTHING doesn't need to be addressed every 5 minutes you are offended. Maybe it's not them.. maybe it's you. Do you give God a chance to check you OR are you too busy popping off at the mouth? God can & WILL heal your marriage. You must adjust your mindset. You cannot just quit everytime it gets hard. You will get hurt. You will have rough days. But if you get through those tests then things will get better, you'll grow closer and it will get EASIER.

In the cases of cheating, your goal should be reconciliation. Both sides need to come together, repent, get counseling and get focused on Christ again. If your husband continually cheats on you even after the several attempts of reconciliation, he has abandoned the marriage. He has forced a divorce. I don't recommend staying a marriage a marriage with continued adultery or constant physical abuse. You STILL have to forgive him, but it doesn't mean that you HAVE to stay married to the man as he cheats on you or beats you.

2. I forgave that person.. BUT I still don't have good feelings towards them. What do I do?
Answer: Forgive by faith. Some of ya'll need to by faith.. forgive someone and then just ask God to help you think good thoughts towards them. Pray for them every time their name pops up or if you see them. Whisper under your breath that.. "God, I pray for so & so- that they may know you and your power. May they walk in your ways and obey you in everything they do." You won't be bitter towards them long because God will really change YOUR heart.

3. My boyfriend did something to really hurt me. What do I do, do I stay?
Answer: Let's be clear- if he cheated on you or something-- I don't recommend sticking around because a ring won't change his mindset. You're obligated in a marriage to AT least attempt to make it work. In a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship you are getting an opportunity to check a person's "get down" out aka fruit of the spirit. Again, we must always be God-led in our relationships but if your man is always lying.. and it's always SOMETHING.. and he's always trying to sleep with you.. and its.. this or that-- a "rang" aint gonna change him sister. You'll be checking behind him for the rest of your LIFE. Now, this is not "formula." All of your relationships should be God-led as I said before.

4. My parents hurt me. How do I get through the pain when I have to see them or a family member?
Answer: I totally understand! Whew! I know how that can be! I have been in a situation where I was hurt by a family member and first I took it to the Lord and asked the Lord to help me to forgive them. I forgave them by faith and I reached out to them to talk the situation out. I didn't feel like we were ever on the same page concerning this situation. I still felt hurt in my heart about the situation but I was determined not to give up on the person. I continued to call them, just to check up on them and prayed earnestly that God would soften and change their heart hearts to Him. Now, it's like nothing ever happened. It's pretty amazing. Not only have I forgiven them, but now we're moving forward and growing in our relationship. I knew that it was a relationship in my family that I couldn't just CUT off. I knew they were supposed to be in my life. There was no question.

There are some situations where you have to pull away from family members & stand up to them. In this situation, I felt like I had to stand up for what had happened. My standards and values come from Christ alone and no other place.

Regardless of your situation, remember this:

Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Just a few fun reminders!

1. The sold-out Pinky Promise Conference is this week! ;-) Please keep us in your prayers as we are planning the final details and the ladies are coming in town! :)

2. My book is selling like crazy! I'm so thankful for all of you that have supported! Check it out here: My New Book! Pink Lips & Empty Hearts

3. As always, you can join a Pinky Promise group locally! There's about 10,000 ladies that have joined! Join here: www.PinkyPromiseMovement.com

4. To purchase cross rings, fabulous shirts, purity rings & all that other good stuff-- go here: Pinky Promise Store

God loves you like crazy!

Heather Lindsey

(One of our maternity photos!) :-)

My New Book!! "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts"

2013-01-14T13:16:00.001-08:00

Ahh! I'm so excited!! I just finished my very first book! It's called "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts." The Lord placed it on my heart to write this book YEARS ago but I didn't fully start writing it until December of 2011! Here's a snippet of what the book is about:

An invitation for every woman who’s ever felt like she isn’t good enough, pretty enough, saved enough, content enough or doing enough.

Like millions of women, Heather Lindsey wanted to have it all together. But as life continued to go on, she found herself searching to fill her insecurities with temporary voids and ended up broken, rejected, exhausted and frustrated. Desperate to let God change her from the inside out—she shares her story, struggles and triumphs as she went from having Pink Lips & an Empty Heart to having Pink Lips and a Heart that is completely surrendered to God.

In a society where women are encouraged to portray a certain self-image, Heather challenges women in saying that it is not enough to just get dressed up and portray a “perfect appearance” when deep down, you’re empty. As a result, we try hide who we really are from everyone, including God.

Join Heather Lindsey as she offers witty, fresh advice that you would expect from your best friend over dinner. Compassionate and practical, Pink Lips & An Empty Heart is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:

• Be content whether they are single or married
• How to develop a deep, intimate relationship with Christ
• Resist the desire to compare your life to others
• Prioritize their day to day life busy schedule
• Develop in the gifts that God placed inside of you
• BONUS: Practical tips on hair, beauty and other money saving resources

I'm working on a 90 day devotional, a mommy/maternity book packed with recipes & tips on staying fit while pregnant and another book-- in which I will share after I finish the other two! ;-) You can find the book here: www.PinkLipAndEmptyHearts.com

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey (My maternity shoot from this past week! 8 Months Pregnant!)

Where is my Ring??!

2012-12-27T11:52:00.000-08:00

So, everybody around you is getting engaged! Every day you log onto facebook you find that YET another person is engaged! Although you're happy for them, deep down-- you're thinking umm.. ANOTHER PERSON?! UGH! WHEN IS MY TIME?!??! You go to church, pray, spend time with God, you're living right but HOW is it that all of your unsaved co-workers are now engaged.. or all your friends are engaged, married.. having kids but you find yourself.. still single.

I just want to encourage you today sis. I have felt how you've felt and I have been where you've been. First and foremost, you have got to stop comparing your life to another person. You've heard this before but I'm going to remind you that you're a Christian. You have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you. Do you know what that means to all of heaven??! You've been adopted, set apart, pulled aside, HIDDEN and PROTECTED under the care of CHRIST. Do you think He's going to just let you run off any marry some of anybody??! Anybody can get a ring honey. You can walk outside and pick a random up off the street and make him marry you. Proverbs 24:1 says: Be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them. So.. that should clear up being jealous of a bunch of random unsaved people that are getting engaged. They don't belong to Christ which means that CHRIST has no say-so in their relationships! The WORST feeling in the world is for you to walk down the aisle to a man that you KNOW God didn't tell you to marry! Yes, God is always speaking. He's always with you. Are you listening? And this isn't the time to run and preach to them that they shouldn't be getting married if they aren't saved. Bashing them over the head with the bible once engaged won't make them run to Christ. Just smile, hug them and say congratulations while you pray for their salvation.

Each season in your life will develop to the next one. If you're worrying non-stop about getting married, you'll finally get married and then you'll worry about kids. "Everybody is having kids and you don't have any kids." Then, you'll finally get pregnant and then you'll compare yourself to all of the other pregnant women and worry about your entire pregnancy. Then, kids will finally come and then you will compare your kids to everybody else's child. Do you see how destructive this cycle is??! And remember, we're Christians. Jesus is so clear to us when He tells us..

Philippians 4:6-7
6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

So.. are you allowing His peace to guard your mind during this season of your life? Or are you on a mad search to "finds you a man?" I want to encourage you to get off of your dating sites as you "SEEK" a spouse and get on your face before God & "SEEK" Him. Don't let being single make you bitter sis. GET UP! You shouldn't be in that waiting room waiting for him! Single life is NOT a waiting room for MARRIAGE. Marriage is ministry and if you were lazy with your walk with God while single when you get married, you'll get smacked in the face by the EFFORT that it takes to make a marriage GOOD & last. We wait for cars, we wait at the doctors, we wait for the train, we wait for appointments. And when the mechanic, our ride, the doctor or the train is LATE.. we get frustrated! We look at our watch & we're like come ON!! If you don't know what train you're supposed to get on, you'll hop on any train that comes because you're TIRED of waiting. Some of us have been on the wrong train for awhile and we need to get off of it because it's PUSHING us further and further away from our destination. Some of us have been "dating" men that we WISH would marry us but we know deep down that that fool has zero standards and no relationship with God. He won't spend time with God, he won't pray, he would rather play with your body then study the bible, he is CLEARLY not husband material but you would rather in that moment forgo being SINGLE than to have to deal with being lonely again.

God was MUCH more concerned about my purpose than changing my last name. He knew that He needed to pair me with someone who was individually pursing Christ the same way that I was pursing Him. I believe that if it was the will of God for my life, I would have waited even longer before I met Cornelius BUT God KNEW that we would come together & get BUSY about the Kingdom of God. He knew our hearts. He knew we wanted to please Him. He knew that our #1 concern in pursing His name. We were individually pursing Christ alone. The fork finally met & we knew within 15 minutes of meeting on January 3, 2009 that we were getting married one day.

Sis, I want to encourage you to get back to the place of worship and begin to trust God wholeheartedly. As a NOW wife I SEE how much work goes into a marriage and I'm telling you that you want homeboy to have the basics. You're going to want your one-day marriage to glorify God and then when you DO have kids.. you're going to want your HUSBAND to lead your household as a Christian leader. You may not see how important it is because your clock is "ticking" but I want to remind you that Sarah got pregnant at 99. If you don't know who Sarah is-- read Genesis.

So remove the words "I'm waiting for my man" from your vocabulary and replace them with "I TRUST GOD'S TIMING concerning EVERY AREA." We must become desperate for Christ and stop being desperate for a relationship.

You didn't get a ring this engagement season because it's not your TIME. YOUR ADAM has yet to awake (click on the link for the blog about it) and you cannot let those around you that are getting married DISTRACT you. On Christmas day 2008, I spent it alone with my family as a single woman. I met my now husband 9 days later. He proposed 12 months later.. on Christmas day 2009. You never know how God can turn things around! First step: Be content wherever He has you right now! Trust that if that DOOR was supposed to be opened, HE would have opened it.

(1 minute after Cornelius proposed!)

So what do you do in the interim?

1. Guard your heart: If Facebook is ruffling your feathers, maybe you need to pull away from it for a little while so you can focus. Stop watching stupid shows on TV that include sex, adultery, fantasies, or whatever else. Don't you realize those things can OPEN a door into your heart?

2. Be happy for others: If you aren't happy with yourself, you won't be able to be happy with others. So sit before God & be honest. You can tell Him that you're jealous & bitter and TIRED of being single. Ask Him to HELP you to want to WANT to be ok with being single.

3. Ask Him to show you the joys of being single. Get prepared to get tested.. but don't worry, the tests will make you stronger & mature you. Remember that you're SUPPOSED to be doing something during this season. What is God trying to accomplish & get you to DEVELOP in? Is He having a hard time because you're ignoring Him & focused on .. this world?

4. Find a local church & get involved! Surround yourself with like-minded Christian women! If you aren't in a Pinky Promise group, there's about 300 groups all over the world! These groups are SISTERHOODS. Period. We encourage each other-- build each other up. Work on studies every month and really keep each other accountable. www.pinkypromisemovement.com

5. SPEND TIME WITH GOD! Honey, when you're on your face before God-- you don't have time to be worry about what is on sister susie's ring hand finger! You're BUSY about PURSING God and you're TIRED at the end of the day. You won't have time to be jealous of anybody.

Stay focused & encouraged sis!

And before I go.. I'm BEYOND excited to announce that my FIRST book is being released next Friday, January 4th!!!! This book is for the woman that is completely dressed up and broken inside. It's for the woman that feels like.. she isn't doing enough, saved enough or whatever-enough. It's truly the all-in-one book for the woman after God's own heart! It will be available via Kindle, Amazon & my own personal site! To pair with the book, "Pink Lips & Empty Hearts" I'm coming out with my OWN lipstick line with 3 shades of PINK! I will share those details later AND the link to purchase the book when I have it!

Here's a few things I will discuss:

• Find contentment whether they are single or married

• Develop a deep, intimate relationship with Christ

• Eliminate the desire to play the comparing game

• Prioritize their busy, day-to-day schedules

• Develop and grow into the gifts that God has placed inside of them

• BONUS: Practical tips about hair and beauty, as well as other money saving tips and resources

And speaking of rings.. I have a Pinky Promise Sterling Silver ring that you can wear on your left ring hand finger that serves as a reminder that you're married to Christ (Isaiah 54:5). So wear IT or another ring as a reminder until your one-day husband replaces it with your engagement ring. You can find it at the Pinky Promise Store! www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com. I've always said if you want a ring so bad, buy one & get over the hype. :)

AND Check out my new website that has my calendar and other fun updates about the new church we're starting in Atlanta, GA! :) www.heatherllindsey.com!

God LOVES you like CRAZY,

Heather Lindsey

It was worth the trust.

The night of the engagement!

The "Private" Woman

2012-12-20T17:50:00.000-08:00

I am in the middle of the final edits of my book but I had to take a break from it and share an area that has been heavy on my heart with my sisters. As women, we carry so much hurt, pain, rejection and so many other things from our past that we begin to subconsciously charge every other woman that has hurt us in our future. We also charge our husbands, boyfriends and whoever else for the exes. But specifically today, I want to ask you a question.. are you HIDING what God called you to do?

God has birthed a huge ministry in so many of you women but because of your hurt, you’re afraid to open up, to try anything or to step out and do what He called you to do because you’re “private.” It’s ok to keep some things to yourself but I can guarantee that some of you ladies.. have some really encouraging, powerful stories that God LONGS to use! Some of you are so resourceful and are naturally skilled at things like interior design, fashion, cooking, organizing, business and so many other areas! WHAT DO YOU have in your hands? What gifts and talents has God placed in your heart to share with others but you’re keeping your tips, ideas, vision and whatever for yourself? So, it’s all about you and yours right?

Sis, it’s time to be free. Free to let God use ALL of who you are! Granted, you’re going to meet some not-so-good people out there but we live in a fallen world, so it will happen! You cannot let those FEW people discourage you from DOING all that GOD called YOU TO DO! Can you imagine if I never started Pinky Promise because I “didn’t want anybody to know my business or my past?” I am not concerned about my past but I'm focused on the FUTURE that God has planned for me! My past has been WASHED away! I have NO shame from what has happen to be because I believe that God uses whatever HAS happen for His glory now because I'm determined to live for Him. How do I know that?

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Psalm 85:2
You forgave the iniquity of your people; You, covered all their sin.

Romans 8:1
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

So it’s clear, that IN CHRIST, we are NEW creations!! With NEW gifts, talents and so many things INSIDE of us!! I challenge you to WAKE up the SLEEPING woman inside of you! Do you KNOW how many women would benefit from your wisdom, ideas, talents and gifts?! If you could ONLY see your potential. You’re so private that you keep all of your gifts hidden and push everyone away because you think they’re out to get you. If you would just let your guard down and tap into who you are in Christ you would find that God placed a beautiful ministry on the inside of you. Don’t you know that when you harden your heart against people, you ALSO harden your heart against CHRIST. Now, I’m not saying that you should just hang out with some of anybody that gossips, talks crazy and refuses to live for Christ. What I AM saying is you have to stop giving every new person you meet the side-eye as you hold your gifts and talents inside of you for “your eyes only.” EVERYBODY IS NOT OUT TO GET YOU. You have got to let go of that idea and be open to the doors that God opens in your life through friendships.

I don't want you to read this blog and then run and start a ministry. I want you to read this blog and then sit at the feet of Jesus and give Him your hurts and cares. The issue is-- we hear things like this and then we run out crippled from our past and then after the high wears off, we begin to slowly start charge new women for the old women that hurt us.. again. You need a true conversion from the inside out. You need to truly give this area to God & LEAVE it there. Then, be intentional in all of your relationships about allowing God to change you from the inside out. So REMEMBER this when you meet new people.. grace them, pray for them, ask God to show you their hearts and REST. Stop looking into everything; assuming that whoever is going to hurt you. As far as your gifts and talents, start wherever you are-- use social media to share your FAVORITE tips & advice concerning your gifted areas! Start a blog on an area you're SUPER passionate about! You NEVER know how God could use what He places on your heart! Start a Youtube video on how to apply makeup and include how vital it is to be beautiful from the INSIDE out first with Christ! Start a cooking youtube channel and teach ladies HOW to cook!

How can we continue to ask God to "show us our purpose & ministry" if we refuse to even open up about where we came from and what God has done in our life? Why do you want to start your "ministry?" Why do you want a PLATFORM? So you can pat yourself on the back? Why do you want to be successful in whatever you do? Is God at the forefront of your mind? STOP seeking your "purpose" and start seeking Him. Then, take each day-- day by day. When you place God first... He will show you, "do this, then do that. Go here, then go there." Let's be clear, God places people on top of a platform that could CARE LESS. They care about pleasing Him and not people. If you're so tied up and worried about your past; you'll be controlled by people and not Him.

Transparency is priceless. It shows others that.. you know.. you aren't perfect but God will take your many imperfections and make you whole. It gives people hope that God can change the "worst" of them. It shows people that you don't have to be perfect in order to come to Christ. It shows people that God can turn your mess into a masterpiece. It shows people that God has not FORGOTTEN about those that seem forgotten.

Stop HIDING. It's time to come out sis. USE what God placed INSIDE of you!

Fun reminders:

My book is coming out in a few weeks! I cannot WAIT!! More details to follow!

Don't forget if you order any two items from Pinky Promise, you get a cross ring for free! Use the code: CROSSRING via www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com! :)

Have you joined Pinky Promise? It's an AMAZING sisterhood with over 8,000 women that are totally in love with Christ. Pretty amazing. www.pinkypromisemovement.com

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

Baby Boy Lindsey's Shower

2012-12-16T18:39:00.000-08:00

Wow! We've been super busy with moving, planning the Pinky Promise Conference, finishing the editing portions of my book AND preparing to launch our church in Atlanta, GA next month! I wanted to pop in and share pictures from our beautiful shower yesterday! We're so excited an thankful to be parents! Being married for two and a half years has really given us a chance to get to know each other and prepare to welcome someone else into our family. We take being a parent very seriously and we're THRILLED for what this journey will bring!

We aren't sharing Baby Boy Lindsey's name until AFTER his birth, but don't worry-- I'll post a few pictures of his photoshoot! :) We played some cool games; the guys had a to blow up a ballon and then try to bend down and put their shoes on, we had to change a babies diaper with our hand behind our back and "How well do you know Heather & Cornelius" a few more games-- opening presents and so much more! It was pretty awesome!

The colors of my shower were yellow, black and white!

Checking out the 7 month belly with Sabrina! :)

My very best friend, Delan! :)

My sweet Wynter! :)

My VERY best friends of 12 years! :)

Me & my best friend, Noey-- 2 weeks apart! :)

The AMAZING baby shower planning committee! I love these ladies!!

Opening Presents!

Thanks for sharing in our celebration of Baby Boy Lindsey! We are looking forward to the Pinky Promise Conference Baby Shower & then.. 1.5 months later, we will meet him! :)

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!

www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets, promise rings, & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store!

www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you picked up my husband's book? "So, You Want To Be Married?"

www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com

Coming Soon in January 2013

My First book! :)

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Your PAST"

2012-11-27T15:02:00.002-08:00

So, you're saved now. You love Jesus. You go to church. You work on living this thing out. You read your bible. You do all of these things.. but deep down you still have this nagging feeling from your past. It's a guilty feeling that you have that you're not good enough, saved enough, powerful enough or strong enough.

Before I continue I want you to know that everybody has a past-- not just you. We needed Jesus because we had to be saved FROM something. As most of you know-- the biggest area I struggled with was placing my hope and trust in humans and not Christ-- specifically, my little boyfriends when I was single. I found value in relationship more than I did God and I made those relationships my idols. I wanted humans affirmation more than I wanted Christ so I jumped from relationship to relationship all while raising my hands in church and speaking in tongues. Although my past may not be like your past-- every single person HAS one. I believe that it's because we live in a fallen world that we WILL have tribulations but "Be of good cheer-- because Christ has overcome this world." (John 16:33). This blog isn't another attempt for you to get emotional, write down all of your past & crumple it up & throw it over your shoulder. Sadly, it will still exist. You must allow God to do a deep work in your HEART and let Him rip out anything in you that's not like HIM.

When you gave your heart to Jesus, He CLEANSED you from all of your sin & all unrighteoutness. (1 John). If you've been abused, raped, molested, hurt or physically abused I want you to know that God doesn't hate you & HE still wants to USE you. He hates sin. He knew that on this earth we would experience unspeakable things and that is why He sent His only Son, Jesus to this earth to make you whole again. We have to start believing that it is really Christ that can heal us from our past. "By the strips of Jesus you are healed" in 2 Peter 2:24 is spiritual and referring to SALVATION. Now that you are SAVED and belong to the FATHER "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" - 2 Corinthians 5:12 YOU ARE A NEW CREATURE IN CHRIST! Now, you just have to BELIEVE by FAITH that you are.

When your past begins to cripple you-- this is what happens-- situations happen over and over again and instead of really dealing with those things head on and giving them to Christ--we begin to get hard. We say "I'm fine, I don't need nobody-- I'm GOOD" as you continue to push your hurt under the rug. What happens is the rug can only hold so much of your past so then your past begins to seep out into your workplace, relationships and every other area. You begin to charge others for what happened in your past. Then, you wonder why you cannot function properly in certain relationships. You jump from FRIENDSHIP to Friendship.. relationship to relationship.. boss to boss-- blaming everybody and everything for your HURT while you refuse to trust or commit to anyone in fear of getting hurt. You want things to work-- but deep down you cannot quite figure it out. It's because your foundation is hurt and not Christ. "By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward." 1 Corinthians 3:10-14. So what does that tell me? It tells me that your foundation in life will get TESTED. If your foundation is based on the abuse from your past-- it's going to FAIL you over and over again. Until you allow God to rip up that foundation in your heart and let Him transform your heart into His image- you will remain spiritually crippled and heavy.

I gotta be honest with you, if you're holding onto the guilt and shame from your past-- you're most likely doing it to others while you pray to be free. How can you afford to walk around and hold people to their past when YOU had one as well? We are the BODY of Christ! We must come together at some point and start building and encouraging each other! Tell God that you're bitter and jealous of everybody else and that you need help! God can WORK with somebody that is has a heart that constantly judges itself! He cannot work with you if you constantly IGNORE your very wicked heart.

This past weekend in Michigan! :) Happy Thanksgiving everyone! :) Baby Boy Lindsey is getting big!

So, how to deal with your past? Here's some practical tips!

1) Confess all known, previously unconfessed sin. In some cases, feelings of guilt are appropriate because confession is needed. Many times, we feel guilty because we are guilty! You are guilty of choosing that man over God. Yes it was wrong but YES it can change right NOW. (See David’s description of guilt and its solution in Psalm 32:3-5.)

2) Ask the Lord to reveal any other sin that may need confessing. Be completely open and honest before the Lord. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). I often pray that God forgives me of any unknown sin and I ask Him to reveal my heart to me so that I can change and be conformed into His image.

3) Trust the promise of God that He will forgive sin and remove guilt, based on the blood of Christ (1 John 1:9; Psalm 85:2; 86:5; Romans 8:1).

4) On occasions when guilty feelings arise (and they will) over sins already confessed and forsaken, reject such feelings as false guilt. The Lord has been true to His promise to forgive. Read and meditate on Psalm 103:8-12.

5) Ask the Lord to rebuke Satan, your accuser, and ask the Lord to restore the joy that comes with freedom from guilt (Psalm 51:12).

6) Your PAST does NOT define you, Christ's death and resurrection defines you. Ask God to help you to believe this.

7) Cast down stupid thoughts that attack you. (2 Corinthians 10:5).

8) Guard your heart against TV shows and music that reminds you of your past. You have a part to play--- God will always play His part-- will you?

9) Don't go back to the sin that kept you in bondage. It's better to be uncomfortable in the arms of Christ than comfortable in the arms of a random that is cheating on you, beating you and using your body.

10) Walk in the newness of Christ daily. I don't have time to entertain my past because I'm much too busy focused on what God told me to do! I'm TIRED at the end of the day and I have enough energy to do what HE called me to do alone. As my sister would say, "I don't have time for all that extra!" haha! :)

Psalm 32 is an awesome study if you're struggling in this area. Although David had sinned (murderer, adulterer, liar, etc) terribly, he found freedom from both sin and guilty feelings. He dealt with the cause of guilt and the reality of forgiveness. Psalm 51 is another good passage to investigate. The focus here is confession of sin, as David pleads with God from a heart full of guilt and sorrow. Restoration and joy are the results. I talk about spending time with God and confessing your sins often in "How to Spend Time with God"-- I think it's important that you recognize that true freedom comes from not just "knowing" but believing that Christ DIED for you.

Finally, if sin has been confessed, repented of, and forgiven, it is time to move on. Remember that we who have come to Christ have been made new creatures in Him. Part of the “old” which has gone is the remembrance of past sins and the guilt they produced. Sadly, we are SO prone to wallowing in memories of our past sin, meditating on memories which should have been dead and buried long ago. This is pointless and waste of precious time. It's time to refocus & get busy about accomplishing the will of God for your life. God has a plan for you-- regardless of your past. So, if you have people that are constantly bringing up your past and throwing it in your face (or even if you're doing this to yourself)-- remind them & yourself that "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"-- 2 Corinthians 5:17. You may have to tell yourself this twenty times a day but it's better to fight BACK than to sit and entertain your past. And if others are focused on your past, don't worry-- as they focus on it, you focus on Christ. Then, you'll look up and Christ will put you on BLAST & show you off, just to show this silly world that He calls the last.. first.

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!

www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets, promise rings, & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store!

www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you picked up my husband's book? "So, You Want To Be Married?"

www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

The new Pinky Promise tee! :)

Unequally Yoked?

2012-11-07T20:04:00.002-08:00

I think it’s important to address this area because unequally yoked relationships are hindering our walk with God in regards to our friendships, courting, and especially in your dating relationships. Then, you look up and you’re married to this person that you’re completely unyoked with but because you were so focused on leaving the title of being “single” behind—you ignored ALL of the warning signs and married this fool who “said” he was a Christian.

Let's clear up a few things:

1. Yes, you can be unequally yoked with someone at your church or another Christian. Just because they are sitting under the same word as you-- doesn't mean that they are taking it and applying it to their life. Maturity comes when we start living this walk and passing these tests.

2. Yes, you can be unequally yoked with your friend. At times, there's a fork in the road of your relationships where maybe your friend stops pursing God as you continue to pursue Him. You may find that surrounding yourself with that friend is pushing you further and further away from God. You find yourself compromising and heading the wrong way.. but you just don't know why.

3. Yes, you and your boyfriend could be totally unyoked. Maybe you're trying to make it work because you don't want to be single. Maybe you're rationalizing because .. you're tired of being lonely. Maybe you both are working on your relationship "together" as you sleep "together?"

4. NO, you don't throw away every person you think you're "unequally yoked" with-- some relationships (mostly FEMALE friendships develop & grow into great relationships as no relationship is perfect), but YOU have to control the environment (ie. invite her to church or to a positive event.) And knowing God-- He refuses to share His glory with your little sorta-saved boyfriend so--most likely, He already told you to break that off.

5. YES, you can be free from soul ties by confessing your SIN to God and HE will cleanse it. (1 John)-- Sometimes, we think we need this whole emotional production at church to be free from a soul tie. WALK in the cleansing POWER of CHRIST & turn away from that sin. Now, by faith-- continue to choose Christ and the light. Then, GUARD your heart. Block him from social media, change your number-- do what you have to do.

6. YES, there's times you will have to pull back from your family and not surround yourself with them 24-7 as Christ builds your faith. They may not accept or understand your walk with God and criticize you for it. Stand firm in love.

Even demons can “say” they are a Christian. What would you say if satan came up to you and said.. “I’m a Christian, I’ll go to church with you on Sunday.” He goes to church with you—lifts his hands during praise and worship and shouts like he was delivered from something. Would you believe him? Well, you’ve just met most people that are in church today. We sit in church on Sunday for one hour a week and we live the rest of the 167 hours a week like no God exists on this earth. Although they may not be satan—they live their life like they belong to Him.

1 John 2:4- “If someone claims “I know God, “ but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love Him. That is how we know we are living in Him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.”

So, I'm saying that you cannot just SAY that you’re a Christian and expect to get into heaven. If you belong to God—you will live in the light and stay in the light and make decision that line up with His word. Yeah, you’re not perfect but if you DO sin, He’s faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you. (1 John 1:9) However, a real Christian isn’t practicing SIN. They practice holiness. They guard their heart. They’re intentional about living for God. So I challenge you. Do a lifecheck. Is there some fruit growing on your tree that PROVES that you live for Jesus? Stop telling me that you belong to Jesus if you hate someone that hurt you. (1 John 2:10). When you take each day—day by day—you’re living for Christ. When you GIVE Him your hate, frustration, issues and problems-- and ask Him to help you and you really mean it-- you're living for HIM.

So now that we have the basics down about what a real Christian is—let’s take a look at how to identify an unequally yoked relationship. You know deep down in your heart if you aren’t equally yoked with someone. You just know. Especially if you spend time with them and see how they respond to life’s issues. You may ignore those areas because you “love” him and he’s “on his way to being saved” or you’re trying to “get him saved.” The only thing you can change on a boy is his diaper. A man has to want God for himself. You may have been with that person for a really long time and you don’t want to start over with anybody else but you know good and well that person, (insert name) is not God’s best for your life.

2 Corinthians 5:14-16- “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.”

Remember that just because someone says they’re saved, they can still be an “unbeliever.” An unbeliever is someone who refuses to believe God’s word and live according to His ways. I'm so tired of Christians running around and saying they got saved at 4 years old and since then-- they've been living like hell on earth. YOU are LIVING for your master. Is your master GOD or satan? Your lifestyle best identifies with who your father is.

Preaching in MO this past week! My hubby introduced me!

Let’s look at a couple of scenarios.

1. An unequally yoked boyfriend or girlfriend can pull you so far away from Christ. They will poison you with their “ideas” and “philosophies” about God while planting seeds in your heart.

They may say, we are planning on getting married—"it’s ok for us to have sex. Nobody is going to know—I just want to be one with you. I’m committed to you and you’re committed to me—we have each other." Sounds like something out of a movie right? You feeling’ all warm and fuzzy inside but STOP. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” YOU cannot trust that man with your own purity and you're about to trust him to lead your life in a one-day marriage?

Your little boyfriend has made his flesh his “god” and is about to rob you of your purity and relationship with God by taking what doesn’t belong to him. Don’t be that girl that goes along with him. Your relationship will only get worse as you push God to the outside of it. Remember those that choose Christ are abiding in the light. They are choosing God when it’s hard. Remember that our relationships are supposed to push us closer to God—not away from Him.

2. They can weaken your faith. It’s that person that constantly doubts everything about God based on some weird “logic” that they came up with. So if you’re hanging around a ton of “friends” that are of different religions, you’re setting yourself up if you aren’t strong enough. Meaning, most likely, you will end up doing what they’re doing versus your Christian values influencing them. You cannot tip-toe around this area.

1 Corinthians 5:9 says “Do not associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulged in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to believe yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, worships idols, abusive, is a drunkard or cheats people.”

You may be thinking that this is a bit extreme. God knows that you’re not going to walk around sinless and neither will those around you but this text is referring to those people that deliberately sin, feel no guilt, shame or remorse and then come up with excuses in their head to why they think it’s ok. If you continue to read that same scripture—it says to JUDGE the person inside the church who claims to be a Christian yet indulges in sexual sin. This isn’t a chance for you to yell at everyone and call the out unless you’re ready to call yourself out. You go to your sister in Christ and confront and discipline that person from a caring place of LOVE.

If you have a friend who you are watching go downhill in a certain area—talk to them in a loving way about this. But check and pull your emotions together before you speak to them. It’s vital for your walk as a Christian to make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with believers and Christians that live for Christ. More than anything- be GOD led.

Don’t you REALIZE that there’s a reason that God doesn’t want you to associate with people that aren’t going in the direction that you’re going in? God told Abraham in Genesis to LEAVE his family and go to a place where God would show him. God didn’t even give specific instructions. He just said GO. So, when God tells you to “go”—what excuse do you give? You don’t want to leave your boyfriend that keeps sleeping with you? You have chicks around you that are dropping seeds of doubt in your head? Are your “unequally yoked” friendships pushing you away from God? Of course they are. The proof is in the pudding. You get around that girl—and you find that you complain, gossip and feel heavy after leaving her presence. Back to the story—God told Abraham to get away from His family because his family worshiped idols. They didn’t belong to God. God needed Abraham to GET away from those people that were framing his thinking. They had influence on him. So.. who is influencing you?

Your life is much greater than having a billion friends and a ring on your left ring hand finger. At some point, we have to learn to trust God concerning these temporary things. Eternity is knocking at your door and you don’t want to stand before God and say “I didn’t obey you because I was too busy & distracted trying to keep a man that you never told me to keep.”

I know I will get this question—“What if you’re married?” Well, if you’re married—this isn’t a reason to run and get a divorce. You win your husband over to Christ by your quiet & gentle spirit (1 Peter 3:4). Trust me.. I've won my husband over in certain areas concerning areas in our marriage. I've watched God change my husbands heart because I learned to accept him-- ISSUES and all. I knew that I couldn't change his issues but CHRIST could if I moved out of the way and LET Him. YES 1 Corinthians 7:14- "For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." HOWEVER, your goal should not be to marry somebody who is NOT equally yoked with you. Paul is referring to a person's "current" state-- not somebody who is pre-planning to marry a random. His instructions for that was "DO NOT DO IT." Don't marry an expectation that a person will all the sudden change once you get married. You WILL deal with so many other issues that come with marriage if your husband isn't saved. So don't even gamble with it. PLUS, how can YOU trust the leadership of your one-day spouse if his father is the enemy? So if you are married-- continue to pray and ask God for grace. But if you're not-- don't use this as an excuse to run and marry somebody. You will remember my words if you do.

At the end of the day, this Christian walk is going to cost you something. You are required to DIE. Die DAILY. Die to your old way of thinking & being and taking on the image of Christ. So, you may think.. “my situation is different, we’ve been together for years and years and he says he’s saved but—I don’t see any fruit but he’s working on it.” Well, sista- you need to let him work on it, over there. Don’t be a distraction to his walk and most likely, while he’s working on it—he’s still dealing with his carnal nature concerning his flesh and your body. Don’t allow yourself to become an idol for a new Christian. They’re searching for somebody to depend on – make sure that space is empty for Christ. And make sure that yours is empty as well so it can be filled by CHRIST. You don't really need that man to be satisfied, you need CHRIST.

Few things:
SO sorry I haven’t been blogging! Hubby and I have been traveling NON-STOP & preaching everywhere! It's currently 10:51pm and we just landed in the Bahamas today as I preach on Friday! Whew! It’s pretty awesome and I’m thankful—I’ve just been busy and this growing belly is a reminder that I need to slow down. Also, baby Lindsey is a BOY! ☺ I cannot wait for March 2013! I will be blogging more moving forward! ☺

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!
www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store!
www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you signed up for the Pinky Promise Conference? We would love to meet you!
www.pinkypromiseconference2013.com

Have you picked up my husband's book? "So, You Want To Be Married?"
www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com

God loves you like crazy!

Love always,

Heather Lindsey

(last week in MO)- 22 weeks pregnant!

"So, The Lord told you "he" was the one?"

2012-10-16T10:18:00.004-07:00

(Me & my hubby toasting in Africa last month!)

I get this question a ton-- people say, "The Lord told me that so & so was the one," so I figured that I would address it in my blog.

Let me tell you my quick husband story. My husband and I attended the same church. I was extremely active in ministry as I was a part of the Media Team, Dance Ministry, Women's Ministry, Prayer Counselor and the Special Events Team. I was busy about pursuing God. Granted, I kept me a boyfriend on the side here & there but for the most part-- I was committed to Christ. I attended the church in New York-- my now husband attended the church in Atlanta (same church, two locations). He would always travel with the pastor because at the time, he was his assistant and right hand man. So, every Saturday, the pastor and Cornelius would travel to New York and I would always see this young guy in a suit running around-- looking all serious! Was I attracted to him? I mean, I thought he was cute-- but he was always so serious and like I mentioned before, I kept me a little boyfriend so I always was pretty focused on them. So we walked by each other for three years. We both attended the same meetings together and we were even in a room with just 2 other people & spoke briefly just 2 years before we actually started courting.

4 months pregnant at an event :)

Three years after walking by each other-- and one day we started talking. I'll be honest with you, I knew within 15 minutes of talking to my now husband that we were going to get married & have a ministry. HOWEVER, 4-5 years earlier than that-- I thought I heard the same thing. I was being introduced to this guy at church and I shook his hand, I heard "That is going to be your husband"--I thought.. HUH? No way! And just kept it moving. A few months later, we became friends-- always hanging with the same group of people and then I started to become attracted to how nice he was. He wasn't my TYPE whatsoever but he was such a nice person-- I almost felt obligated to give him a chance. Plus, I mean.. I "heard" he was going to be my husband right? Mind you-- I knew my purpose. I knew that one day I would be in ministry full time with my husband and do all these things for Christ. I was confused on how this was going to happen because that relationship began to NOT glorify God. We started to do things that SEPARATED us from God. And I won't beat around the bush, I told the guy I didn't want to kiss until I get married .. and we ended up fornicating. Then, I couldn't stop! I couldn't find the breaks. Then, what I thought I heard.. I began to not believe. The proof was in the pudding. Our relationship was pushing me FURTHER & further AWAY from God. Our relationship was so far from ...

Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

So as I read that scripture, I begin to weep. I said.. God.. how is my then boyfriend who said he's going to be my one-day husband presenting me? It scared me because I knew the answer. My one-day husband was supposed to PUSH me closer to Christ and I knew that it started in the courting process. Although he said he loved me & we were boyfriend & girlfriend for a long time.. I knew that I became his idol and vice versa. God is clear in Exodus 20:3 that I was to NOT worship any other god but Him. So although I was saying that God was my God.. and I served in all these ministries and prayed for all these people.. my heart was so far from Him. I called out His name with my lips but went right back into the bed with my little boyfriend and SHOWED God who my real "god" was. It was my flesh. It was my desires. It wasn't GOD. If it was REALLY GOD-- I WOULD HAVE LIVED LIKE IT!!

Long story short, we broke up. God told me over & over again to BREAK IT OFF. I learned that EVEN if you "hear" that a certain guy is the "one"-- you may be WRONG. You may have mis-heard God. The proof is in the pudding baby. God is so powerful, so awesome that He knows in advance EVERY situation and EVERY relationship. He even foreknew who would CHOOSE Him one day and get saved. He knew that guy wasn't my husband!!!!!!!! That was either my emotions or satan telling me that lie. GOD knew my husband was going to be Cornelius & wasn't surprised by it!! It was a DISTRACTION and some of the things we think we "hear" distract us and PUSH us so far from GOD! We get all wrapped up in what we think we heard & then the guy marries another girl .. & then you're all mad at God so you ignore Him & start dating some thug guy that sleeps with you & everything else that moves. Guess what sis?

God didn't tell you that "he" was the one! Why would God tell you that when you cannot be faithful in small things? Why would He tell you that & now its got you ALL messed up because now.. you're trying to throw yourself at some guy to "make" something work that wasn't meant to be!! Why would he tell you something that would replace your desire for HIM for another man?

So, I gotta be honest with you. Like.. this is sister to sister-- heart to heart. If you thought you heard God say that about a person-- LET IT GO. Seriously. Let it go. If the relationship is meant to be-- IT will develop with FIRST, the man pursuing YOU. Sadly, you're taking ownership in your mind & heart over a man that doesn't even know your last name. He aint yours baby girl. Your focus must always be on Christ & NOT on the distractions of this WORLD! Your life is much greater than your MARTIAL status & if you don't get up get BUSY about what GOD is calling you to do, you're going to be switching all hard trying to get the attention of somebody else's ADAM! (I talked about "Where is my Adam here-- if you want to read it).

(our very first date 1/8/2009)

Now, back to the story with my husband and I. Both my husband and I KNEW within 15 minutes that we were going to marry each other. Neither one of us said anything. We just talked and talked.. and talked..and talked & got to KNOW each other. We discussed marriage & if I would be willing to move to Atlanta if we got married. We courted with PURPOSE. Sometimes, we tend to get "wrapped" up in what we think "God" said & we start playing house like we're married.. and you ain't married honey. On our first date, Cornelius said "I'm not going to kiss you until the wedding day." THEN we set up boundaries. No sleeping together, no cuddling, no kissing on the hand, the cheek, no movies, no NOTHING. We hung out in groups. I didn't dress half naked around him or try to test the standard he set up. Over time, I saw myself developing emotionally. It wasn't pretty. Courting
was ROUGH. I began to watch God peel off my layers of heart & show me how jacked up I was through my relationship with Cornelius. Although it was hard.. I was getting better.. stronger, less emotional, less manipulative.. and gosh darn it.. Cornelius was PUSHING me closer to CHRIST! He was doing what Ephesians 5 said to do! The process was HARD but it was so worth it! The proof is in that PUDDING baby! I had PEACE about Cornelius. God told me to PRAY earnestly for him when I didn't' like the way he was treating me. God told me to be sweet with him & love him earnestly. The difference between this relationship & all others is GOD was giving me the HOOK-UP on how to work out my relationship! It was so cool & a BIG change from Him always telling me to break things off! Finally, GOD had an input!! So, then Cornelius proposed to me 1 year after we officially started courting... 8 months later, we got married. God remained first during the courting, engaged & now as husband & wife-process. He was never on the back-end.

Quick crazy story: While Cornelius & I were engaged, a woman came up to him at church and said "The Lord told me that you're supposed to be my husband." Cornelius said, I'm sorry-- I'm "engaged"-- she said "you aint married yet." When Cornelius told me this story-- my heart broke. I wanted to find the woman & talk to her & explain to her all of the above. Sis, don't be that girl. Pinky Promise.

Our wedding day 8/14/2010

So I want to encourage you ladies to REST. Sometimes, we want to awaken LOVE before it's time (Song of Solomon 2:7). So calm down sister. If God told you-- He will tell him, YOU don't need to go running around, telling some man that "The Lord told you that he is going to be your husband." You're only going to freak him out and embarrass yourself. Just bite your tongue & stay focused on what GOD called YOU to do. Then, you'll look up and HE will be PURSUING you. Then, you'll smile and laugh with God.

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!
www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store!
www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you signed up for the Pinky Promise Conference? We would love to meet you!
www.pinkypromiseconference.com

Have you picked up my husband's book? "So, You Want To Be Married?"
www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com

God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey

"How To Prepare for Marriage"

2012-10-01T13:22:00.002-07:00

(flirting with my hubby! :) We hosted an event a couple weekends ago in AL)

Ok, so you may see the title and think in your head-- YES! I'm about to get WORKING on this list of HOW I can prepare for marriage. I think as Christians, we can be SO .. works minded. We just say, "give me this list & I'm going to do it & I'm going to be prepared for marriage." Although I am going to give you some practical TIPS, nothing can prepare you MORE for marriage than the Holy Spirit who guides your life. Granted, reading books, studying, praying for your one-day spouse are all GREAT things. I am not saying don't get knowledge-- but the MORE you know-- the more accountable you will be to that information.

Even if you do all of these things to prepare for marriage I want you to know that in marriage.. you will have your bad days. You will have days where you don't feel good and you don't feel like cooking or cleaning. You will have days where you want to quit your job. You will have days where your spouse is driving you up the wall. You will have days where you feel lonely. You will have days where you feel broken. You will have days where you don't want to be bothered. A list of top ten whatever will be thrown out the window. You will know what to do, but you still won't do it because of pride, hurt or whatever else.

Marriage is beautiful. It really is. But if you're a train-wreck as a single, reading a page long blog sure won't make your marriage work. The only One that can fix what is going on in your heart is CHRIST alone. If you're bitter at every person that is getting married, having kids or getting a promotion then not even a marriage is going to make it better. A marriage will only reveal more of your heart and include someone else into your life. If you marry a man that doesn't understand your past or that he is supposed to LEAD you & go into your heart & pluck out the wrong areas and lead you toward's healing & Christ-- you'll marry a man that gets MAD at your past. He won't know how to deal with it. He'll stay frustrated, so will you. You won't submit. He won't die to himself. Thus, why the divorce rate for Christians is at 50%.

I'm not one for formulas. I believe God is very creative but I believe examples encourage us & remind us to trust God.

You finally recognize that no man can fill your little voids. As soon as you decide to cut off all men that distract you.. then, 10 more try to date you. You continue to take the steps needed because you KNOW that it's not your time for a relationship. A mature woman knows that if she gets into a relationship right now-- that she will MESS up somebody's life. So she cuts out all of the idols. She gets quiet before God. She spends time with God daily & gets into that secret place. She knows that it's not enough to say "I pray throughout the day & spend time with God that way--I don't have set aside time."--she has both. She understands that talking to God throughout the day is BIRTHED from that secret PLACE. She continues to stay on her face before God before she heads off to to work & throughout her day. Her friends get married around her & she's so excited for THEM because her contentment comes from that secret place of quiet time with God & not some external circumstance. She doesn't compare her life to others. She is continually pursued by men-- I mean GOOD men. Christian lawyers.. doctors whoever else. But still..she's not attracted to them. She doesn't have peace about pursing a relationship with those guys. So she stays quiet before God. Time continues to pass & she continues to stay consistent in her relationship with God. She knows what God called her to do & she don't wavier from it. The holidays roll around and you're sitting at home alone with your family. Your family is on you about your clock ticking & being single. You smile & remind them that God's timing is perfect as His peace overwhelms your heart. The jabs about your single life.. no longer bother you. You long for that secret place to spend time with God away from humans.. because there's nothing like Him. So you pull away from your family & find a quiet room. You sit before God and tell him that you would rather be single for the NEXT 10 years then to date another random.

10 days later you meet your husband and you recognize him within 10 minutes.

This was my story. I believe that I best prepared for marriage by taking my eyes off of marriage & putting my eyes on Christ. I used my example because I saw a shift in my life where my heart went from getting the attention of some little boy to sitting at the feet of Jesus. Regardless of how long you wait for you husband I want to encourage you to STOP waiting. Lets look at the definition of waiting:

wait·ing (w'tng)

1. The act of remaining inactive or stationary.

2. A period of time spent waiting.

So if we're looking at the definition it tells me that its a period of being inactive or stationary. YOU should NEVER be inactive in your walk with God. We should always be moving forward in a direction of RUNNING towards HIM. If single or married-- one thing should be consistent and that is your walk with God. It shouldn't change. So if you're sitting around--just a-waiting for your one-day husband; you may wait a long time. Don't you get a little impatient as you wait at the doctors office and you're just sitting in this little room and it takes FOREVER for the doctor to finally see you? You're thinking.. you just wasted an hour of my life that I cannot get back. Then, imagine hanging with your best friend in the world! You only have an hour lunch & you're just chatting and then you look up and it's been one hour. You say "Gosh, time flew by!!" Do you see the difference? YOU STOPPED WAITING. You didn't look at the clock. You didn't compare your life to others. You were having a blast by hanging out with your best friend. THIS is how it should be with God. We should be so enjoying Him and His presence then we look up and say-- gosh, God. Time FLEW by! Now, you presented your best to me. This is so cool! I wasn't even sweating anyone & you totally hooked me up! Thanks Jesus! You're like amazing! :)

Ok, now that we have the basics DOWN pat-- I can give you some basic 101. I like practical tips because I believe that as women-- we should bring more to the table of a marriage then some eye liner and lipstick.

1. Take a cooking class. And not just some southern fried chicken class. You don't need to assist in pumping your family with unhealthy foods & aiding in a shorter life span. Take a HEALTHY eating cooking class. Introduce healthier lifestyles into your families life. My husband didn't want a southern woman that only cooked friend chicken and grits. He wanted a woman that would cook healthy & show him a different lifestyle of eating. When I was single, I would cook meals for my roommate. It's a good test to have a close friend who can be honest about your foods to help you to grow. In addition to that-- check out the raw food diet & get books on it. Do cleanses. Be intentional about learning.

2. Develop some fruit of the spirit. Are you loving, kind, patient? Use the tests and trials that come from your job, your family and other life situations to develop you. You should have some fruit on your tree. You're going to need that patience in a marriage.

3. Stop dumping every friend that makes you mad. Now, I'm not saying that everybody should be in your life but I am saying that we get rid of people so quickly without even DEVELOPING those friendships. Are you the type of person that gets scared of a commitment of a friendship or anyone getting close to you in fear of getting hurt? Face that fear with the Holy Spirit. He has not given you the spirit of fear-- but of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) The more you dump every friendship and every family member that rubs you the wrong way-- the more conflict you will have in marriage. You must learn to develop relationally. If you practice dumping every person when you get married, you will only continue the divorce you practiced. Let God lead you in your relationships. It cannot possibly be everybody else-- YOU may have a part to play in that and you may be running from a really great friendship.

4. Clean your house. Honestly, I'm still working on this area. I NEVER had to clean up after myself thanks to my mother :). But no excuses-- I've learned to clean up as I go and to pick up after myself. Depending on if your hubby is a neat freak or not-- it will help if you practice being organized.

5. Pay your bills on TIME. When two people get married-- you both take on each others debt. You become ONE. Your money is she money. She money is he money. So don't bring 500,000 of debt in credit cards. Discipline yourself & buy what you NEED. Plus, what if you want to purchase a house.. or a car & you want to take out a loan and they need both of your credit background?

6. BOOKS! I recommend reading about marriage. If someone has been there & done that and is a successful in their marriage-- why wouldn't we pull from their experience? My husband wrote a book called "So, you want to be married?"-- you can check it out here: www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com and if you want it on kindle, go to amazon & type in "Cornelius Lindsey." God has so many avenues that He uses to help us along the way. We get a ton of feedback from people and they say "I wish someone told me this when I was single"-- I'm we're like-- we tried to tell you! You just didn't listen! lol

7. A life. I know you're thinking-- a life? Yeah, a life. Figure out what God called you to do. Inside of you is so many gifts and talents. I was in grad school when I met my husband, working on wall street, writing a book, working with a ton of young girls--mentoring, teamed up with ACS--and I mentored displaced young girls that had family struggles, I was involved in 5 ministries at my church and I traveled all over. When you get married, you don't want to sit around and just watch your husband. YES we make him our priority and all that good stuff but get busy about what God has called YOU to do and make sure whatever it is' doesn't distract you from your priority which is God and your husband.

8. Work out! If you worked out single, why wouldn't you work out married? Let's make sure we stay in shape and create habits of staying healthy in every way! Find a gym, go to a track-- include working out into your daily regimen! I always say that the external man is NO WHERE as near as important as the internal man.. but if you walk around in sweatpants with your hair wrapped up and some flip flops all day.. you have to remember that a man is VISUAL. So look good for YOU. Get up, do your hair, put on some bronzer & lip gloss. Look cute for you & your husband, Jesus. :)

9. Wisdom with spending! Ladies-- you don't have to pay full price for everything! You can even make some DIY things for your home to make it more comfy! Check out vintage thrift stores, Ebay, Pintrest and other avenues to be more creative if you lack in these areas! You may say that you don't have the time or energy but again-- even in my own marriage- I see my husband may think he has to pay full price for something and with a little research online, I was able to save him 50%!

10. Spending time with God daily. THIS is the most important one. Period. Create a habit of spending time aside from everyone and everything. You are going to NEED it in your one-day marriage. Trust me. God knows your husband and he can give you the hook-up on how he works! Even as a single, you can be praying for your one-day husband that he has a heart that's turned towards God. Again, don't make it your FOCUS-- include it in your prayers in general.

Ok, that's it for now. I am praying for you who desire to be married. Today, we learned that sitting at the feet of Jesus is where we prepare for not only marriage-- but every area of our life. Let's keep our focus on Him & not a human.

Andddd I have an announcement. As most of you may or may not know-- we are expecting a Baby Lindsey!! :) We're SO excited to announce that we will meet baby Lindsey in March 2013! We're OVERJOYED at the idea of being parents & pouring into our very own. I will blog more about motherhood and what I learned-- and I'm writing a book for you soon-to-be mothers! :)

4 Months Pregnant! :)

Don't forget!

If you want some cute Pinky Promise jewelry, shirts, or journals go here:

If you want to sign up for a local Pinky Promise Group in your area-- go here! There's about 5300 girls in groups all over the world! Pretty awesome! Go here:

If you want to sign up for the Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta--I would LOVE to see you! More details are here:

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

(Me & my fine hubby!)

"God Closing Doors vs. You Opening Them"

2012-09-14T18:08:00.001-07:00

You may be in a season where people leave you, job ends, money runs out, things aren’t 100% working out, you’re losing friends or just experiencing loss in general. Gosh, trust me that I understand. I honestly believe I went through that very thing for an entire YEAR. It was the longest year of my life. You really learn who you trust in your darkest hours. I learned that I could lean on and really trust God. He didn’t just become a part of my daily bible ritual—He really became my entire life. I had to cling to Him. It seems like your whole world is caving in and the only One that makes sense is Christ alone. That’s if we decide to turn to Him instead of our circumstances.

I can recall certain situations in life where I tried to stay in a relationship, a job or in a certain place and I just knew deep down that God was closing that door that I desperately kept propped up. I wanted to so badly to stay in those situations—to stay comfortable versus dealing with the fear of the unknown. The fear of being single, the fear of not having enough to pay my bills, the fear of losing loved ones, the fear of not measuring up, the fear of not being good enough or whatever else. Sometimes, we try to put a comma where God puts a period. Although I shouldn’t have been surprised—God shut those doors. He popped my little pretend-happy bubble. I could have continued to stay in those places and continued those sentences. I could have had a run-on sentence & created an entire storyline.. where God put a period. So, while we’re here—I ask you, do you have any sentences that have continued that you know God ..never intended for you to continue? Most of those sad stories should have never happened. It comes with the territory of ignoring God and living the life we want to live. The heartache, the lies, the abuse, the abortions, the loneliness—you see, God knew these things would come if you stayed around longer then you were supposed to. You couldn’t see those things ahead of time because you were blinded by pretend love, money, status, power, sex, drugs, being comfortable or whatever else. I DO believe that God does work out things for our good when we live for Him. So don’t beat yourself down if you created an entire storyline. If you aren’t living for Christ right now, that can change right now. It’s wrapped up in a daily decision to just wake up and live for Him again. God can heal us; no matter how far we’ve fallen away from Him. He longs for your entire heart.

I recall spending the night at my boyfriend’s house when I was single but I would wake up every morning no matter what and would spend hours with God. Sounds weird right? Yeah, one would think that I would start applying what I learned and take my tail home. Anyway, I continued to spend time with God & I sat on the guy’s bed and the Lord would show me that I needed to break the relationship off and if I didn’t, it would only get worse. How’s for that? Not long after, we broke up. I was heartbroken but now I understand. God put a period there and it’s not for me to go & try to create some story that should have never been written. I watched the relationship go downhill. No matter how much I prayed, hoped and wished things would work out or whatever else..The season was over. It was time to move on. Matter of fact, I question the very start of some of my past relationships & situations, those doors were opened by Heather and not Jesus.

You see, those people, jobs, places or whatever else are stumbling blocks. You are tripping over them and falling flat on your face, over and over again. If I placed stumbling blocks in your way as you were walking down the street, you would look at me like I was crazy and walk around them. You would tell me to STOP harassing you and leave you alone. You would say “Heather, clearly I can see that you’re putting huge bricks in my path, I’m not stupid, I’m just going to walk around them—why the heck would I just trip over them and fall flat on my face?”

I believe this question is what all of heaven and the angels ask when we continue in a place where we have stumbling blocks.. and we just keep tripping over them.. over & over again. So, God sends help. He sends blogs, your pastor, your friends, books or whatever else to speak into your heart. Instead, you ignore them and you continue to walk into each block. Doesn’t it sound crazy with that image of me just walking up on you & placing square bricks in your path as you’re walking? You would think I was crazy! Why don’t you feel the same way about satan? And let’s stop blaming him for everything, he sends the stumbling blocks and you have a choice. You don’t have to trip over them. You can trust God & live for HIM in the midst of whatever is going on. Remember that God will give you a way out of every temptation. What temptations are you facing? Sister or Brother, you are NOT alone. ALL of us experience those tests and trials. I just want to remind you that you don’t need “he” or “it” to make you happy. You really need Christ and if you don’t allow Him to strip you of your idols, you will stay in bondage to those idols forever. Remember that God leads and guides your life. Trust Him, even if your story isn’t playing out the way you intended. He’s with you.

At times, people try to tell me that my life is perfect (and TRUST me, it’s FAR from it!!!!) and that I’ll never understand what they are going through. They say I have the husband, the ministry or whatever else. They see the product of my obedience to Christ but they don’t see the WORK that went into getting where I am today. I just want you to know that I could have a different life story. Instead of trying to write my own life story, I submitted my life to the One who created me. I have a choice to live for God daily. I could have said “screw this all”—I’m staying with my ex boyfriend, even though God told me to end it. I could have said “Forget reading the bible, this takes too much.” I could have said “Waiting to kiss until my wedding day? PLEASE. I aint waiting that long, I need me some sex.” Do you know that I had a choice in the matter? I have a choice to write this blog. I could have said “I’m leaving my marriage at the sign of a first bad argument or whatever else. So please, don’t send me any emails saying that I don’t understand. I was once single, I know and understand the struggles you go through. Where do you think these blogs and my future book is coming from? I’m most passionate about this area of relationships because it’s where I had the most pain. I went through HELL and back as a single. & got serious about my relationship with God and stopped dating randoms & met & married my husband, God’s way. So I challenge you in your own life. YOU HAVE A CHOICE!!!!

....Instead of comparing your life to my life, a pastor, a singer, some reality tv person or whoever else; start comparing yourself to the bible. Take your life and line it up against the bible and use it as a mirror to show you your heart. Let’s not blame anybody else for where we are in life and start taking responsibility for our actions. Granted, you cannot control your life and some of the things that have happened to you but you can control how you respond to them. I want the plan that God has for my life. I don’t want anything outside of it. I want His perfect will so I’ve stopped praying for meaningless, material things and I started praying that my heart would be molded to look like His. So what if I have a couple nice things here & there—what does it mean if my heart is wicked and hardened towards Him—as a Christian? I just cannot afford it and neither can you. I cannot afford to live this life as a pretend Christ—saying all of these things with my mouth but my heart is so far from Christ. I long to stand before God one day when this is all finished and hear Him say “Well Done my child. Thank you for living for Me & giving me your entire heart.” Oh gosh, it brings tears to my eyes if I lived this whole life and then stood before God and He said that “I never knew you—get away from me as I explained to Him that I preached in His name, wrote books in His name or whatever else.” This is a lot deeper than a blog you’re reading. I believe that God is crying out to you. Crying out to you because He wants to become your first love again. He is so jealous for all of the things and people you place in front of Him. He longs to be first. Please, sister. Brother. Give your entire heart to Him again. Spend time with Him daily and let Him lead you. I can promise you that it won’t be easy but you’ll grow spiritually and the tests & trials will give you endurance and character.

I love you & I’m praying for you.

I am writing this blog as I fly from Dubai to the United States. I was just in Africa for a week spending some time at the orphanage there that we have teamed up with to help support. It was a life changing trip. I will blog about it later and show pictures. I just want to thank everyone who prayed for our team and supported financially. I love you dearly.

Also, my husband just released his first book!! It’s called “So, You Want To be Married?” This book will WRECK you and challenge you as a single or if you’re married. It’s a must read! You can find it here: www.SoYouWantToBeMarried.com

Couple usual reminders!

If you want some cute Pinky Promise bracelets, shirts, or journals go here:

If you want to sign up for a local Pinky Promise Group in your area-- go here! There's about 4500 girls in groups all over the world! Pretty awesome! Go here:

If you want to sign up for the Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta--I would LOVE to see you! More details are here:

(Me in Ethiopia a couple days ago at the Raey Orphanage-- these babies were SO precious!)

"The Fear Struggle"

2012-08-28T07:09:00.000-07:00

So this area has been heavy on my heart lately. Why talk about fear? Because fear attacks our hearts everyday—from “WHEN am I going to get married?! What happens if I can’t get pregnant? What if something happens to my baby? Am I going to be too old to have kids? Am I going to randomly get shot in a movie theatre? What about my kids? What if their friends make the wrong decisions and peer pressure my child to do the wrong thing? What if I get evicted? What if something happens to my husband---Oh gosh, I couldn’t live on this earth without him! What if something happens to my mother or father? WORRY.. worry.. worry & FEAR.. Fear FEAR. It is PARALYZING you from really enjoying Christ and your relationship with Him.

Isn’t it ironic that we immediately think of all the bad things that could happen to our loved ones and the crazy thing is—those things have never happened to our loved ones! Along the way—we’ve picked up fear from CNN, Fox News, TV, movies, other families and google. And yes, I say google because the second we have an issue, we run to google to see if other people have gone through what we are going through. And honestly, if you go online you will find so many BAD stories and very few success stories. And I have to be honest with you, if you have “friend” that is FILLED with fear and is ALWAYS saying crazy, negative stuff—you should probably limit the amount of time you spend with them. They are poisonous to your life and you will find yourself fearing things you never feared before. Also, turn off First 48, Law & Order or any other show that creates fear in your heart.

So I’m writing this blog to encourage you to rest. I sense such a worry in the hearts of so many. A complete fear, When we fear we tell God that we really don’t trust Him or His guiding. God is clear—Our days our numbered on this earth (Ps. 103:15) As much as we can kick and scream at that scripture, at some point—we all will leave this earth. So while you’re here—you have to make it good and you have to place your trust and hope in Jesus Christ alone.

The sad thing is, we fear all of these natural disasters and freak accidents but we don’t fear laying in the bed with our little boyfriend and having sex outside of marriage. We don’t fear not submitting to our husbands. We don't fear sneaking & watching pornography on our phones. We don’t fear reaching out to ex boyfriends that you’re still in love with while married on facebook and creating emotional ties that lead to physical ties. We don’t fear lying here & there.. we don’t really fear God. We fear things the obvious “fears” will affect us physically (even though the secret sins do just as much damage). Our fear is about us and it has nothing to do with God. We don’t want to get hurt. WE don’t want to get evicted. It’s all selfish & about you.

What happen? When did we start fearing things and stop fearing God?!? A fear of God says—I’m in awe of you God. You created the heavens, earth & all these humans on this earth. You’re in control of it all and I ain’t gonna sit up here and let the enemy harass my mind. Fearing God is being holy because He his Holy (1 Peter 1:16). Fearing God says you want what God wants and you want to do what He wants you to do. It’s because you love Him so much, you have a reverential fear for Him. This crazy love.

You may say—look, Heather—I aint there. How can I get this fear back for God? I ask you to look at your life. When you deliberately sin,, you harden your heart against God. If you are intentional about ignoring Him and more focused on doing what you want to do, you God’s strong voice that gave you that check in your heart in the beginning.. will slowly disappear. You have hardened your heart against God and turned your heart towards sin. Of course you don’t fear God anymore. You’ve built & created idols and now you worship those things with your life and not the living God. And it’s too hard for you in your head to cut off a bad relationship or a friendship because you don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings but you KNOW it aint right. Everytime you disobey God.. and ignore Him on purpose.. you’re hardening your heart. Obey QUICKLY. Don’t even entertain those crazy emotions that say “you’ll hurt their feelings, what about this? What about that?!” Let’s stack it up—place God & that person, job or thing next to Him. Which one do you want? You may quickly say “GOD!” I want GOD! If you really want HIM.. you’ll CHOOSE Him. Your life will demonstrate your choice.

I struggled with fear GREATLY throughout my life. I was a huge worrier. I definitely got it from my mama! I guess if you had 24 children (adopted all but one, including me! J) You may find yourself worried about their lives in some type of way. My mom always got so involved in every situation someone was going through & she brought it on herself. Most recently, I had to tell her—“MAMA! You’re 70 years old! Stop all that stressing out! You are too old to take on the cares of everybody else. All of your children are 18 and older—old enough to make decisions for themselves. You can no longer control that.” Anyway , I somehow picked that up growing up. I also experienced death with family members at a young age. Although I don’t remember them very well, my two brothers passed away when I was about 5 or 6. One murdered, one had a heart transplant and his body rejected the heart. Then, when I was 16 (One day after my birthday) on September 19^th, 1998 my best friend and sister, Kimmy died. Gosh. My heart was officially broken. I was crushed. She’s the one who first told me about Christ and she was like a second mom. She was only 21. The doctors overdosed her on anesthetic during a routine checkup for Cystic Fibrosis. No, we didn’t sue. We didn’t want to re-live & fight with anyone. My parents were those types of people. They believed that God’s vengeance was stronger then their own. Then, my father passed away in 2000. It was devastating. I was at Michigan State University for a summer program and he passed. He had been sick for awhile, but it was still hard. Then, a few years passed and my mother remarried and after 7 years—my step-father passed way—taking me up to this past year. Then, a month later, my nephew committed suicide. THEN, my girlfriend, Cathy passed away suddenly of a brain aneurysm. All within about 2 months. TALK about FEAR!

...The second Cornelius (my husband) left the house for two seconds I would get these crazy thoughts! What if someone hurts him in the parking lot. What if a homeless guy attacks him? What if this.. what if that?! I was so wrapped up in fear and abandonment. So I would give him the LONGEST hug & kiss before he left and I would tell him like 50 million times how much I loved him. I just had too many people die in my life and I wanted to hold on tight to those that I loved. After I CLUNG to my husband for a couple more months.. I realized that my clinging was based in fear. Fear that I would lose him like I lost so many others. Fear of going through what my mother went through twice. Gosh, it was so hard. So one day, as I was spending time with God—His presence wrecked me. He showed me how much I didn’t really trust Him. He showed me that no matter what happens in my life that He is with me and that He won’t put more on me then I can bear. As hard as it was—I decided to take baby steps by faith and trust Him. Have I all the way arrived?! HECK no! I will never arrive. Even as I type this—I’m sitting on a plane. I feared planes for years—because I knew if I crashed, my tail was gonna die. Now, while flying—I look out the window and I get to see a birds eye view of what God sees. It makes my issues seem so tiny. God is so huge! He’s in control of our lives!! He has our back!! He LOVES us so much!! I have completely submitted my whole heart to Jesus so my life is REALLY in His hands. I don’t have to put up with getting harassed by satan and NEITHER do YOU. I know that … I can do all things through Christ WHO strengthens ME. And it is through Him.. we are free from fear. It is THROUGH Him.. we have peace in peaceless situations. It’s through HIM.. we have joy when it looks like we shouldn’t be happy. Our hope is in Jesus alone. Let’s not place it in anybody or anyone else.

If you’re struggling with fear, I recommend that you meditate on these scriptures in addition to guarding your heart:

2 Timothy 1:7- I have not given you the spirit of fear, put of power, love and of a sound mind.

1 John 4:18- There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear, because fear hath torment. He that fearth is not made perfect in love.

Luke 4:10- For it is written, He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee. And in their hands they shall bear me up, if I dash my foot against a stone.

Fun reminders:

If you want some cute Pinky Promise bracelets, shirts, or journals go here:

If you want to sign up for a local Pinky Promise Group in your area-- go here! There's about 4500 girls in groups all over the world! Pretty awesome! Go here:

If you want to sign up for the Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta--I would LOVE to see you! More details are here:

GOD loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"Our Two Year Wedding Anniversary: 15 Things I've Learned"

2012-08-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

Sooo, today is our 2 year wedding anniversary! I'm SOOO excited to be spending it with the man of my dreams and my best friend. I decided that it was fitting to share some of the things I've learned from marriage for the past two years.

1. Marriage is work. I didn't know. I mean, you hear about it-- but in order to keep your marriage strong, you have to work it it. Meaning, you can't "starve" certain areas of your marriage. My husband said that it was important to him that I spoke to him in a sweet, respectful tone. I can't do it for two months & then start cockin' my neck at him & talking to him like he's a child a month later. You really have to listen, meet in the middle & pray often.

2. The joys of "shut up."-- You ain't ready to get married if you aren't ready to meet in the middle (OR go all the way), shut up & choose your battles. Every single discussion isn't worth a full- blown-out argument. It's not worth it. Sometimes, if my husband thinks that he is right about an area and we've gone back & forth about it in the past.. I just rub his back and tell him ok, & I love him. And don't roll your eyes at me for that. It doesn't mean I'm a doormat. Who told you that WORDS would win your guy over?! 1 Peter 3:1 says to win your husband over without words but by your BEHAVIOR.

3. My marriage is like no other. I cannot compare my husband to anybody else. He is Cornelius Lindsey & no other. He aint my ex, he aint some person on TV, he ain't anybody but WHO he is and how DARE I try to put pressure on him to be anything or anybody other than WHO God called him to be. He's an amazing man after God's own heart that presses INTO Christ daily. He listens to me, he's a beautiful leader & has a awesome vision. I am working with WHAT he got as God develops him in other areas. Let's all be honest, you have areas you need to work on too-- #grace.

4. ME. I learned about me. Oh, I knew I had issues when I was single.. but I was pretty convinced that I was pretty close to perfect as I pursued God & lived for Him. lol. PLEASE! Marriage is a MIRROR that will show you YOURSELF. It's like my husband goes into my heart & plucks out (vice versa) areas in our hearts that don't look like God. God allows us to expose each other so HE can HEAL us. Our marriage brings HEALING.

5. Everything doesn't always work out. T'is true. But now, you have someone to work things out with TOGETHER. There was a time period where my husband and I were having issues with our bank account & until it got settled, we had to eat rice just about everyday. WE didn't fight with each other, we laughed about it!! We enjoyed our rice & created meals out of nothing! We stuck together. In HARD times, don't QUIT. Work through them. Things will get better. GOD is our Provider alone. (matthew 6:33)

6. My husband aint me. Yeah, I have a SUPER happy personality. Even this morning-- I've been up since 6am waiting for my husband to wake up. As soon as he woke up, I started kicking like a little kid & he sat up & said "Please, just give me a minute"-- hahaha!! I KNOW my husband isn't a morning person. I'm pretty much on HIGH 24-7! So I had to really tune into the Holy Spirit & let Him lead me with my excitement. There's a time & place for that. My husband LOVES my happy personality but I also have to meet him in the middle at times.

7. The head of every wife is her husband, the head of her husband is Christ and the head of Christ is God- 1 Corinthians 11:3. Imagine this with me. Take a knife & cut my head off (not really, but you know), and cut my husbands head off.. and cut Christ's head off. Take my husband's head & place it on my body. Take Christ's head and place it on my husband. Where does my head go?! To my one day children. But as of right now, my head is gone & my husband's head is sitting on it. Which means my husband and I are ONE & HE is loving ME like HE would LOVE his own body. WHEN I look to my husband's body, on HIS head is CHRIST. So, as I SUBMIT myself to my husband, I'm really submitting my BODY to CHRIST. So it sure makes it a lot easier to submit to someone.. when the wife is constantly looking at CHRIST.

8. Stay snatched. I learned that you have to bend in the way you look. You are no longer dressing "cute" for anybody else but first your husband. My husband wasn't crazy about my blonde hair-- so now it's dark brown with highlights. I had to meet him in the middle. We work out to stay healthy & look good for each other. You gotta maintain this area. There is not thrown' down on KFC & Big Macs for dinner in our home. We eat HEALTHY meals. WE need to be around for a long time to preach, write books and everything else.

9. God speaks to my husband better than me. Umm. yeah. This was a fun one to learn. I used to nag in the beginning of our marriage. HE NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND. Girl, bye. That man just went into the man cave of his heart & he won't be coming out anytime soon. I learned to rest & place my trust in God concerning my husband. YES, I still addressed issues in our marriage but at times, God would tell me to shut it up because HE was handling it. WE are help-meets. So are you helping or hindering him? Make sure you move out of the way so your guy can hear from God.

10. My husband has my best interest at heart. I had to learn to trust him in this area. I had been SO hurt in past relationships. I had to LET my guard down & trust the GOD in him to lead our family, not abandon our marriage and to believe the best. EVEN in times IN our marriage where we said.. "WHY did I MARRY YOU!?" Yes-- we've had our share of arguments. Fights will happen. Things happen in marriage. God weans you and at times, it sure doesn't feel good. But it's for your good. If you just stick it out, you'll see the fruit of it. Our first thought shouldn't divorce.. but reconciliation. LOVE bears up under ANYTHING. (1 Cor 13:4)

11. NEVER SLEEP APART. Even if you're arguing. FORCE your mad tail right back into bed. Don't let your spouse run you out of your bed. Arguments WILL happen. It's marriage. The bible tells us "not to let the sun go down while you're still angry"-Ephesians 4:26. Don't get in the habit of running out of your bed when you're upset. You'll create a habit of sleeping apart.. or in other places. No matter HOW bad the fight is.. tears & all, I know my husband and I will be right in that bed together that night. Thankfully, we don't fight as much as we did the first year. lol Matter of fact, we don't really fight at all anymore. We have mastered peace.

12. Code Words: How have we mastered peace? Code words are your friend. If my husband and I get into an argument, we say "JESUS"-- meaning ALL arguments cease & we will not continue this conversation any further until our emotions settle.

13. God can give you the hook up. I remember one day I was upset with Cornelius and God told me as I went for a drive-- "Heather, I created and know Cornelius. I can tell you how he functions & give you the inside on how to use wisdom with Him." Ummmm.. why didn't I THINK of that?! Thanks Jesus! :) lol

14. My husband takes longer to cool down then me. If we have a heated discussion-- I can forgive and get over it in 2 minutes. My husband may need longer to settle down. I've learned to pull back and give him space to hear from God.

15. Marriage is best, done God's way. So stop watching stupid reality TV shows of pretend marriages because you're comparing it to somebody's highlight reel of a marriage and then they end up divorced in a year. Your home is your vacation home. (that's what I call ours) Make it beautiful ladies. Be his cheerleader. Love him like crazy, spend a ton of time with God & let Him lead you.

I am sensing in my spirit some people that may not feel like their spouse is really living for God. Sis, I want to encourage you to "win him over with your quiet & gentle spirit"- 1 peter 3:1. Just cling to God and believe the BEST. If he acts a fool, cook him breakfast and ask him if he needs anything else. PLEASE believe, I'm telling you to do it because I DID it. There's times where I thought we may not work out after a HUGE argument. I got quiet before God and I recall God's spirit spoke to me.. He said that His spirit was grieved because of the argument. He told me to forgive my husband and ask my husband to forgive me for what was said. Even though my feelings were still upset.. I still got my tail up & cooked. Pursue.. PEACE. THINGS will get better. Stay encouraged.

And Happy Anniversary to my king. I adore you.

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!
www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store
www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you signed up for the Pinky Promise Conference? We would love to meet you!
www.pinkypromiseconference.com

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

"CAN I get A TATTOO?"

2012-08-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

You're probably coming to this blog to see if you're "allowed" to get a tattoo. I had a blog on here. WITH all the scriptures-- backing up the difference between the law and the faith that we now live by in Jesus Christ. I have found that blogs like "Can I get a Tattoo"-- divides us Christians, sadly. There WILL be differences of opinion in the church about what is right or wrong. Paul says (Romans 14:1-17) that we are not to quarrel about issues that are matters of opinion. Differences should not be feared or avoided but accepted and handled with love. We cannot expect everyone, even the best possible church to agree on every subject. Though sharing ideas we can come to a fuller understanding of what the Bible teaches. We should accept, listen and respect others. Differences of opinion need not to cause division. They can be a source of learning and richness in our relationships. In addition, while the church must be uncompromising in its stand against activities that are expressly forbidden by Scripture (adultery, homosexuality, murder, theft) it should not create additional rules & regulations.. and give them equal standing with what God wants us to do. Things like tattoos, piercings & getting your hair cut.

My heart breaks for the body of Christ. It's so darn divided. It's so broken. I long for it to be one. I LONG to look like CHRIST. And you better believe that I won't have a part in dividing us Christians anymore with topics like can you get a tattoo. It's so small.. compared to what Jesus did for you on the Cross. HE WIPED your slate clean and MADE you whole! He died so that YOU may live!! So, after discussing with my hubby, we believed that it was best to remove this blog. I won't address questions like this anymore. I encourage you to do your own study.. and let God lead, guide & convict you. His ways are perfect. SOME topics.. aren't worth causing any more confusion in the body.. & this was one of them.

Romans 14:14 "I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ that no food, in and of itself is wrong to eat. But if someone believes its wrong, then for that person its wrong. And if another believer is distressed by what to eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don't let your eating RUIN someone for whom Christ died. Then you will not be criticized for doing something you believe is good. For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink but of living a life of goodness & peace and JOY in the HOLY SPIRIT. If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God and others will approve of you too. So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up. "

Have you signed up for Pinky Promise? There's local groups all over the world!
www.pinkypromisemovement.com

You can rock super cute bracelets & shirts at our Pinky Promise Store
www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Have you signed up for the Pinky Promise Conference? We would love to meet you!
www.pinkypromiseconference.com

GOD loves you like CRAZY!

(Me & my king in New Orleans! :))

www.pinkypromisemovement.com

"How Does Music & TV Affect MY Life?"

2012-07-23T18:29:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I'm going to get some people that are REALLY mad at me for this one. Why? Because I've worked in the music industry. I worked at at huge record label and I saw FIRST hand the behind-the-scenes of how "music" works. So people that may know me.. may be upset that I'm talking about this area that so many tip toe around. Before I get into this blog-- the ONLY reason I started working at a record label in the Marketing Department was to spread Christ. Everybody knew it. From my boss to the CEO. I didn't try to hide it. I made SURE everyone knew that I wasn't just some girl who was tryin' to "get on" -- I wanted them to know Christ. I had a curse jar, my bible out at my desk daily, and I'd bump gospel music ALL day long. I didn't hang out with them.. party with them.. or whatever else. I KNEW I went there to spread Christ & that was it. I honestly didn't want to work there. I really didn't . The Lord sure knew & so did my friends. I had to learn to be content during that season. It was hard because I knew what God called me to do.. and I'm like, why am I here Lord?! Such a season of developing.

Check out some old pictures from my record label days.
1. My girlfriends visiting my office
2. The company retreat with co-workers & the president of the company
3. The presidents & CEO of the company at that time

Let's all be clear. I'm real free from people. How can I serve them if I'm in BONDAGE to them? As much as I LOVE people-- especially those in the music business-- I STILL have a charge. That charge is to GUARD your HEART. I am MUCH more concerned about a person's heartbeat towards God then then their feelings getting hurt. You may say that I'm "judging" you.. but if you're caught up in the music business.. the business has already judged you. Most likely, you drink with them, party with them, curse like them.. and you look like them. Although you hit church on Sunday.. your life looks NOTHING like Christ. And baby girl or boy..we have to do better. Life is more about you getting' your "paper" & in all honesty, as you sit at home after a long night.. you're even more empty then you were when you woke up. Only Christ can fill that void.

1 John 1:5 says: "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth." 1 John 2:15 says: ⁵Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. ¹⁶For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.¹⁷The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

So.. I'm not saying this to beat you down.. so don't email me with angry messages. If THIS blog makes you mad.. that means that you need to evaluate THIS area because clearly, it's challenging you. This blog bothers you because you want to continue to live however you want to live and you still want me to say it's ok. Know that I won't. I won't ever agree with it. If we're going to really live like CHRIST-- we have to not LOOK and act like this world. And please, you're not being a light around those people as you hit the club with them.. you see.. you look EXACTLY like them. WHY would they want to serve your Jesus that has ZERO standards. Of COURSE you can get saved for real-- and live the right way.. but you have to "die" to some of your ways & let God lead your life.

MUSIC is POWERFUL. TV is POWERFUL. Why? Because it's setting an atmosphere in your living room & your eardrums that is planting seeds in your heart. Listening to certain songs and watching stupid reality TV shows begins the more YOU will start accepting that treatment into your own relationships. Yeah, he cheats on you, lies to you.. but he takes care of you. I mean, he pays your bills with his drug money or whatever money and he loveeeees you.. I mean you have that "ride-or-die" thug kinda love. Girl, please. Where did you get that from? We aren't 13 anymore. We're grown ups. And as a GROWN-UP-- we need to start having GROWN-UP relationships. Remember, your NEXT generation of CHILDREN could look like this man or woman. So stop complaining about this rebellious "generation" of kids when you're dating the main drunk & chick that is dropping it like it's hot at the club.

Before I get into the origin of music, Tupac used to be my favorite rapper. I had Thug Life painted on my wall as a teen. I LOVED rap & R&B. I LOVED ALL secular music. Until 2003.I got saved and gave my life to God-- for real. And being that I was a baby in Christ-- I had no idea that I wasn't supposed to listen to that music. Nobody "told" me. I remember-- sitting in my car one day-- and pulling out a secular CD from my CD player.. and thinking, this is garbage. It makes feel horrible and reminds me of my past. I can't listen to this crap anymore, it's not feeding my spirit in a good way.
From THAT day forward.. I stopped listening to that music, literally, listened-- one day & then next day, it's like God knocked the taste out of my mouth. So, since then.. I've listened to Gospel. My favorite artists are Kari Jobe, Kim Walker, Jesus Culture, Jimmy Needham, Hillsong and Matt Redman to name a few. So if you're struggling in this area.. as we ALL have areas where it seems like God delivers us quickly.. vs. us going through a process- GIVE that area to God & leave it there. Guard your heart. Do your part.

Lets look the origin of music.

The two Scripture passages that describe Satan before he fell are Ezekiel 28:12-19 and Isaiah 14:12-15. Satan was the “anointed cherub” (Ezekiel 28:14). He was adorned with every precious jewel imaginable (Ezekiel 28:13). He was “the model of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty” (Ezekiel 28:12b). Likely he was the highest of all angels. He was persuasive enough to convince one-third of the angels to join him in his rebellion (Revelation 12:4. Satan fell because of PRIDE. He did not like being “second best.” He wanted to be God: “You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain’” (Isaiah 14:13). Satan knew how easily influenced we could be listening to music or being entertained-- being that it's a DOOR for him to creep into your heart, he'll glady take it if you don't know any better.

Was Satan the head musician? This cannot be answered definitively. After researching scripture-- it does not say enough about what his duties were in heaven. Considering the fact that the angels constantly worship God (Isaiah 6:3; Revelation 4:8), it is possible that Satan led that worship. One thing is sure: for Satan to rebel despite having such an high position and close relationship with God, the devil is surely due his eternal destiny (Revelation 20:10).

Many Christians struggle with this question. Many secular musicians are super talented. Secular music can be very entertaining. There are many secular songs that have catchy melodies, thoughtful insights, and positive messages. In determining if you want to listen to secular music, there are three things you must consider: 1) the purpose of music, 2) the style of music, and 3) the content of the lyrics.

1) The purpose of music. Is music designed solely for worship, or did God also intend music to be soothing and/or entertaining? The most famous musician in the Bible, King David, primarily used music for the purpose of worshipping God (see Psalm 4:1; 6:1, 54,55; 61:1; 67:1; 76:1). However, when King Saul was tormented by evil spirits, he would call on David to play the harp in order to soothe him (1 Samuel 16:14-23). The Israelites also used musical instruments to warn of danger (Nehemiah 4:20) and to surprise their enemies (Judges 7:16-22). In the New Testament, the apostle Paul instructs Christians to encourage one another with music: “Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” (Ephesians 5:19). So, while the primary purpose of music does seem to be worship, the Bible definitely allows for other uses of music. And honestly, even if that person can play the flute really well-- if they are gay-- I ain't listening. It just is what it is. Because their LIFESTYLE doesn't glorify God-- that person is subject to satan and his spirits. I don't want his little spirits entering his music & then plant messy seeds in my heart. Just is what it is. Let me elaborate on this: WHAT is inside of YOU flows OUT of you-- you are a slave to whoever you serve (romans 6:16) so someone who is practicing homosexuality is a SLAVE to satan & sin-- I don't want that ON me. I worship and serve the Lord. That homosexual has perverted their gift and uses it to glorify satan and their lifestyle. So don't get all mad at me for calling it out-- somebody gotta say it. I LIVE for Jesus. MY standards are clear, THIS won't change, because you're mad that I said it. So please, stop sending me your angry emails as if my stand according to the bible will change because of some humans view?! I LOVE you-- I really do, but I could care less about your "thoughts"-- I live according to the bible.

2) The style of music. Sadly, the issue of music styles can be very divisive among Christians. There are Christians who adamantly demand that no musical instruments be used. There are Christians who only desire to sing the “old faithful” hymns. There are Christians who want more upbeat and contemporary music. At the end of the day-- if it glorifies God, that's ALL that matters.

3) The content of the lyrics. Since neither the purpose of music nor the style of music determines whether a Christian should listen to secular music, the content of the lyrics must be considered. While not specifically speaking of music, Philippians 4:8 is an excellent guide for musical lyrics: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” If we should be thinking about such things, surely those are the things we should invite into our minds through music and lyrics. Can the lyrics in a secular song be true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy? So if you're struggling with getting over your ex-- you should probably turn off Adele. Yes, her voice is beautiful but every time it plays.. it reminds you of your little boyfriend or girlfriend. So do a music check & a TV show CHECK. Is what you're WATCHING glorifying God or is it painting this picture of what you want in a husband based on some basketball player or rapper? Is it HELPING your walk with God or is it HINDERING it?

Most secular music does not meet the standard of Philippians 4:8. Secular music often promotes immorality and violence while BELITTLING purity and integrity. If a song glorifies what opposes God, WE shouldn't be listening to it. However, there are many secular songs with no mention of God that still uphold godly values such as honesty, purity, and integrity. If a love song promotes the sanctity of marriage and/or the purity of true love—even if it does not mention God or the Bible—it can still be listened to and enjoyed. As I mentioned before, I still don't listen to those songs either, but that's just me. I like to LISTEN for the heart of the artist. Even with gospel singers.. your heart could be so far from God or homosexual & you're just a singing'-- I will turn you off. You don't know Christ, your heart told on you. WHEN you're spending a ton of time with God-- HE shows you that stuff so the crap that is on the inside of them, doesn't get on you. We must guard our hearts on who we hang around. So yes, if your hang around that music long enough-- you'll start looking like it. If someone is struggling with depression for YEARS or lust.. and they are just singing their little troubles in your ears.. guess what you'll be struggling with?!? STOP surrounding yourself around it. When we SPEND time with God-- HE shows us this stuff.

Remember that the above applies as well for Television. It's the SAME thing. Check out the content, the words, the acting.. because if it's not glorifying God-- it's glorifying your flesh and most likely-- you're seeing results in your life. So if you're struggling with sex outside of marriage, you shouldn't be watching shows that have people shacking up. It just is what it is.

Whatever a person allows to occupy their mind will sooner or later determine their speech and actions. This is the meaning behind Philippians 4:8 and Colossians 3:2, 5: establishing RIGHT thought patterns. Second Corinthians 10:5 says we should “take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” These Scriptures give a clear picture of the kind of music we should not listen to.

And as I mentioned in ALL of my blogs-- we can all get saved & change. I am not throwing away "
anybody"-- I'm just challenging us to DO better.

So, let's do better. Let's give our carnal nature to God & really live for Him for real. I really love & I'm praying for you.

Also, I've gotten some nasty responses.. as I was sure that I would. If you read my other 100 blogs-- I'm sweet, kind, gentle-- YES-- but at times-- God charges me to be BOLD & blunt about certain areas. So if it bothers you... good honey. WE all have areas we need to work on.. including me. I'm a straight WORK in progress & desperate for GOD daily. I NEED His help & I'm LOST without Him.
And check out this links!

Pinky Promise Store (bracelets, ring, shirts) www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com
Pinky Promise Conference (register! Join me in Atlanta!) www.pinkypromiseconference.com
Pinky Promise Movement (Join a local group or start one!) www.pinkypromisemovement.com
For Speaking Engagements: Kristi@PinkyPromiseMovement.com

Lastly, SO sorry that I haven't been posting! :) Been super busy! But.. I'm back at it!

God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey

(at a speaking gig in Philly)

"God, What Have YOU Called Me To Do?"

2012-07-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, we go to our jobs day in and day out.. and we're so frustrated. Asking God-- WHAT have you CALLED me to do? Why in the heck am I here? It's almost like you stop caring about your life because you think God stopped caring about you. So since you don't think that God cares.. you stop caring as well. You run off and date randoms, spend like crazy, drink.. smoke or do whatever fills your voids because WHY does it matter anyway? All this doing "right"-- yields no results for you in your head. I remember. I would just have sex with my little boyfriend.. because that whole marriage thing took too long. Everybody else was doing it. Nobody would know. Right? Gosh, I was so empty & blind to my own ignorance.

I know the feeling.

That feeling like you're walking aimlessly around this earth as it seems like EVERYBODY else around you is skipping around in their purpose. It's like they have it all figured out and God is showing you your purpose .. last.

When I was 20 years old, I had an internship in Washington D.C. at Black Entertainment TV. I thought I wanted to be a Producer, so how fitting to take a semester off at Michigan State from my little random (who I just broke up with). I had just given my entire life to Christ & I was really pursuing God with all of my heart. It was the most loneliest.. most fulfilling season of my LIFE. I really fell in love with Jesus that year. It's like the Lord placed this fire in my belly combined with .. the desire to never go back to my little boyfriend that played me & cheated on me with everything that moved. I knew I wanted more for myself and my life. I wanted my life to really honor God. I just wanted HIM. I remember a particular evening when I asked God what my PURPOSE was. It was date night. I had cooked Jesus some spaghetti and brownies. We just finished watching "Blue Streak" the movie.. and I just sat quietly before the Lord. Just talking with Him. After talking for about 30 minutes.. I told the Lord.. that I wanted to know why I was here. I don't want to do anything you don't want me to do.. I want to live the plans you pre-ordained for me.

So I sat there. Then the Lord said, "Heather, I've called you to preach my gospel all over this world. You and your husband will travel with world and share my name and millions of people will come into the knowledge of who I am through you and your husband. (Mind you, I'm super single). I will blow your mind my child. If only you trust me and let me take on the lead of your life-- I will lead, guide and instruct your path. I have great plans for you."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I was so excited! I wasn't just a wandering soul!! (And neither are you!) I JUMPED up and ran and told my unsaved roomate that "God told me that He called me to preach!! I'm going to travel this world & share Christ!" -- she lifted her head & looked.. at me & said are you crazy?! We work in the entertainment business.. and laid her head back down.

I was so sad. Why wasn't she excited as me!? Must she be a buzz kill?! Then I went back to my room with my head down. The Lord said "Heather! You cannot share what I 've called you to do with everyone. I gave YOU the vision, not her. In addition to the vision I gave you.. you won't go into preaching publicly right away. Instead, you'll work at different places and your full-time ministry will be your job. At each job, you'll develop and grow in certain areas. Don't resist the development. When you're 29, you'll fully step into ministry and you'll understand the path I gave you"

Omg! I was so excited! God spoke it so clearly to me! I knew why I was here!!! Which gave me another standard. I can't marry no fool without standards. He needs to have a heart for God & his people.

Fast forward to 9 years later..

Each day the past 9 years, I spent the first of my mornings and most nights with God. Not to get anything.. I just needed His presence. I worked at jobs I hated, loved people that lied to me and bashed me.. and messed up a ton.

29 years old continued..
So, I've been on the road the past few weeks at certain speaking engagements.. what I didn't know that the the time I would spend on my face before God all those years would create an atmosphere where His presence is so thick in the room that women cry out to Him, pour out their issues & learn that HE is GOD & there's none like Him. A year from today, you may not remember everything I say at a conference-- but you will remember how thick and heavy the presence of God was in that place. THAT is what GOD called ME to do. I didn't EARN it. I didn't hope & pray for it. It was a SET UP!! GOD set it up. I just accepted the CALL.

Now, let's talk about you. Clearly, as per the above, I was headed in another direction. I was going to be a TV producer. Is there anything wrong with that? No. I just needed to DO WHAT GOD CALLED ME TO DO. I AM ONLY GRACED TO BE HEATHER LINDSEY. You are graced to be you & to accomplish the plans that GOD has already pre-set and arranged for you. Your FOCUS should be to discover the plans that have already been pre-set, arranged and prepared for YOU. I want to share some practical tips to help you. Before I share them.. I wanna be super clear. Don't seek your PURPOSE, seek CHRIST. It's so easy for us to get caught up in what God called us to do.. while ignoring the One who created us.

1. You gotta get saved. Read ALL of 1 John. I can tell your saved the the fruit on your little tree. You cannot tell me that you got saved at 4 if you live like HELL & your tree is empty. The proof is in the pudding. Fruit grows slowly, so don't be hard on yourself if you aren't growing in certain areas. God will grace you but you must be intentional in GROWING up in HIM. In addition to all that, you are saved when you BELIEVE that Jesus died for your sins & made you right before Him. So, this gets rid of your carnal nature. You won't wanna go back to little Tommy anymore. the old you DIED.

2.WE HAVE TO SPEND TIME WITH GOD. If you read EVERY blog.. you will see that I talk about how to spend time with God & the Journal Challenge. HOW can you expect to hear God's voice if you refuse to spend time with Him?

3. You gotta LISTEN to God. Once, I took a job for the money. That was it. I wanted away from my current job & I wanted a job that would pay me more. BUT I had NO peace. NONE. My motive was wrong. I ended up quitting within 3 months. Such a fail.

4. Check out your atmosphere. Who are you hanging out with as you beg God for your purpose? You may have a little boyfriend that you keep having sex with.. but you beg God for your purpose. Babygirl, sin separates us from CHRIST. (Isaiah 59:2) There is NO profit in playing house with someone. IT WILL KEEP YOU FROM YOUR PURPOSE.

5. Be content. You may not have the most amazing job right now.. but keep your eyes on Christ & He will open your doors and fund the entire thing. YOU may have some really amazing things in your heart.. that GOD placed there. THERE is a specific time to which GOD will bring those things to past.

You see, your life is much greater than your job. It's bigger than your car. It's bigger than you appearing successful to some people at your church. It's bigger than "keeping up with the Jones." It's bigger than you feeling good about you. It's bigger than what you think. God created you and placed you in your mothers womb with PURPOSE. EVEN if you don't feel like you have one. If you woke up this morning, God is going to use TODAY to prepare you for those things HE called you to do. WE will never arrive. So don't get caught up in this silly world & it's ideas. Don't hang out with messy girls that bring you down. Don't keep sleeping with that man that doesn't value you. It's time to change. It's time to be the woman GOD called YOU to be. Sis, whether single or married... lets BE the woman GOD called us to be by BELIEVING HIM & livin' this thing. I'm on board. Are you?

God loves you like CRAZY,

Heather Lindsey

Pictures from a speaking engagement a couple weeks ago.

"Why He Won't Marry You"

2012-06-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

So, I've seen so many worldly blogs and articles on this subject, I figured I would clear it all up and talk to you like your sister in Christ.
Maybe you're single, or dating someone and you want to get married. But homeboy is taking forever. Your girlfriend probably told you that you need to give a certain "look", flirt around, "put yourself out there", go online & date or whatever else. WHY he won't marry you is for so many reasons, including your PROTECTION.

So, let's jump right into this.

1. He's not 100% sold on you. For him, there may be a ton of other fishes in the sea and he's not totally sold on you. So he'll drag you along forever without giving you a ring and telling you that you need to be "this" or "that" before he marries you. It's all based in some stupid condition. Lets all be clear-- you can lose everything 2 days after you get married so it can't be based on some material or condition. Marriage is supposed to last forever.

2. The non-committed. This non-committer knows that he's a "good" catch so he's not going to totally commit to you because as his career, degree or whatever else grows.. he needs to make sure that you're good enough to go where he's going (or good arm-candy). Which is sad again-- and based on a ton of conditions. If he doesn't see the amazing in you, help his way to the door & wave goodbye.

3. Free milk. Are you giving them' goodies up? WHY would he run & marry you if you are giving him all your goodies, playing house, sleeping with him.. as you cook, clean and do his laundry. I mean.. why would he need to get a marriage license when you do all of those things with your maiden name?

4. God's timing. Well, you weren't supposed to wake "up" this Adam-- and he's a random. God is really closing this door. You're sad, trying to MAKE it work and everything else.. but it just is NOT working and.. you wished that it would. You try to do everything he wants you to do & please him but no matter what, God still closes your little relationship door.

5. The Visionary. This guy.. wants his career 100% together, and all of his ducks totally in LINE before he thinks about marriage and a family. He doesn't want to take on the responsibility of YOU if.. he feels like his career hasn't jumped off. My question to him would be.. "WHO IS YOUR SOURCE?!" If you know that you're supposed to be together, been courting for awhile.. stop waiting for money to come in to help your decision. PAINT your picture together. Again, what happens if you lose your job as soon as you get back from the honeymoon? So you waited FOREVER, played around, rubbed, touched, dishonored God while dating.. finally got the job.. got married and lost it all. It's WORLDLY. That whole mind-set is of the WORLD. We are to be led by GOD daily so if God showed you your girl, marry her already & figure it out & grow together.

6. Sorta-Christian. This man isn't totally sold on God & sure isn't being led by Him. I'm not even sure why you would wanna marry this fool but I have to put this in. This guy doesn't understand the marriage between Christ & His Church or "dying" to yourself so he's selfish. He says, " I aint ready to get married", goes to the club, looks at women's behinds everytime they walk by. This guy is carnal and is vocal about not wanting to marry you. Please, let him go already.

7. The Married Man. Yup, Had to put this one in-- he may not marry you because he is STILL legally married to his WIFE. This man is on the rebound & searching for someone to affirm him again and get what he couldn't get from his wife. He could be going back & forth with his first wife.. messing with her & you. IF you wanna court this man.. he needs some time to himself after the divorce to get whole. Period. Don't be his little void-filler.

8. Flirt. The flirt won't marry you because he craves the attention of so many other women.. just getting it from you would be boring. So, he'll end up married at about 40 or 50 because by then it will get old. He likes the idea of communicating to you with no commitment & pretending like something will be there that never will be.

9. The Baby-Daddy. Homeboy has like 5 kids by 5 different baby mamas. I'm not clear on why you think he'll marry you but he didn't marry them? Please. Move on.

10. The Liar. This man wouldn't marry you because he's so busy lying to you & everyone else while holding a secret life as a down-low brother, with other women, at strip clubs while up in the church, Praising the Lord. He's torn with his life and cannot figure out how to really give his whole heart to Christ so he lives this lie. He is not confident in leading you because he doesn't believe he's really led by God.

So.. how do we avoid the above? WHEN we spend TIME with God daily, HE shows us the hearts of ALL men (including YOURSELF & where YOU need to change). The thing is, we have to start LISTENING to when GOD is leading & guiding our lives!! At some point, we have to start doing OUR part. Let's start now. Cut off any of the above. Get quiet before God & whole. You don't wanna marry the above, you want to marry God's best for YOU. Sometimes, we stick around.. hoping that they will change. Don't marry an expectation that you can change someone because you cannot. THEY have to want to change & you may wait a lifetime for that to happen.

Praying for you.

God loves you like crazy,

Heather Lindsey

“Balancing Life: The Life of a BUSY woman”

2012-06-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

(at a recent speaking engagement!)

As a woman, I understand how pulled we can be in so many directions. Every minute of my time is filled with doing something. Even now, as I’m on a two hour flight to Phoenix, I planned on studying, reading, blogging and working on my book because I knew I would have some uninterrupted time. I want to just share some of what I do just to give you perspective.

First, I’m a wife. That in itself is a full time job. Everything I’m about to name afterward besides spending regular time with God comes second to my husband. Even with that—I have to manage it & work it around my husband’s schedule. Let me explain—my husband comes first on this earth next to the Holy Spirit who leads & guides me. ANY and all projects can get disrupted, shut down, put on the back burner & prioritized when my husband sees fit. Thankfully, I didn’t marry no crazy, controlling man. I married a fair, just man. When I first started Pinky Promise, my husband and I got into a heated discussion about my schedule. He said that I was married to Pinky Promise. I’m like WHAT??! He said I spend all of my time, responding to emails, praying with girls, making bracelets, and working on my business plan. He no longer was cooked for or paid attention to him—and at night, I sure worked until about 3am making bracelets or responding to emails so the time we used to have to talk to one another was being filled by work. Although all of those things were GOOD, they weren’t good if Cornelius wasn’t second to God and God would clearly tell me to make sure my husband had his priority. My husband isn’t a needy type of man at ALL. He just wanted some eggs in the morning. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.. I need to prioritize. If all of this ministry stuff fades away.. what will I have? My FAMILY. And Cornelius is my family. Him & I are the first of our family and I need to make sure that I’m being a loving wife. I gotta be honest with you, I’m a businesswoman. I’m not knocking the woman who is a housewife because THAT in itself is a gift—I know you WORK your tail off. But the Lord didn’t call ME to just be a housewife—housewife duties don’t come “natural” to me. Creating and implementing a business plan gets me excited and keeps me up all night. Cooking a few times a week,-- is ok because we gotta eat and I wanted my husband to eat healthy but cleaning meant I hired someone to come into my house to take care of it. My husband’s love language is “acts of service” which means.. HE feels most loved when I’m cooking, cleaning and doing things for him. Which can be hard for my mindset because of my schedule!! Let me share. I own my own consulting firm. I’ve been consulting and working with one particular company for 4 years. That’s pretty much a 9-6 job but I get to work from home—which is awesome! I’m thankful. But I really have to be available, meet deadlines and work on huge projects that take a LONG time. I have to be able to dedicate time and energy to that company as a consultant.

Then, I have Pinky Promise. Pinky Promise is the organization I started that reminds women of their value and worth. It’s my baby. I love Pinky Promise—a Promise to honor God with your life and body. (www.pinkypromisemovement.com). It was birthed when I started selling Pinky Promise bracelets and gear (www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com). I knew that it wouldn’t be enough to just give people bracelets to encourage them to not cheat on their husbands, have sex outside of marriage or to cut out watching stupid reality TV. I needed to get them involved, so I started a network online that has grew into the thousands and has over 125 groups all over the world including the US, Africa and London. Lets stop really quick and talk about the moving part of having a Pinky Promise store. It’s SO much work!! There’s orders, changes in addresses, items that were lost in the mail, items that arrived, but were stolen, people that want me to donate, people that want bulk orders, back order issues, shipped the wrong item, the list goes ON & ON! There’s a huge customer service aspect to it that people don’t’ realize. When you’re selling thousands and thousands of product, you’re bound to have issues. Plus, I am now working with a ton of vendors and most of our bracelets are made from scratch. I hired a team in Michigan who makes the bracelets and I make them as well, including the two interns I have. Again, there’s moving parts—getting the product wholesale where we can, searching for better lettering beads (which we have and switched over! These beads last forever!), then, the string is out of stock for 2 weeks, then my T-shirt vendor cannot print shirts for another week, then, my team is running out of supplies in Michigan, then, they need to get paid.. The list goes on & on. I’m constantly searching for new, fun products for women to rock to remind them of their value. So, YES! It’s a TON! Then, within all of that, I decided to start the Network (www.pinkypromisemovement.com) as I said before, I needed to get the women involved. Involved in their community, involved with each other, praying, encouraging and supporting one another. So I started the network, and women started creating groups! But of course they need material! So.. I pray for the women and ask the Lord what He wants me to create for the women to study. I create curriculum so they have something to study every time they meet. Then, I teach once a month to them and encourage them to come up with things to do as a group. I'm also planning a Pinky Promise Conference in January with a TON of women. There's so many moving parts to that as well. (www.pinkypromiseconference.com) I ain't complaining, I'm just sharing because I'm GRACED to do all this. I'm thankful.

Within all of that, I have thousands and thousands of women emailing me, calling and asking for prayer, advice and encouragement. So, I always try to get to as many as I can but I’ll be honest, it’s so hard sometimes because I really just don’t physically have the time to respond to everyone! Then, I’m blogging every week and writing a book that should come at the end of this year. I also tweet and post statuses on facebook a ton to encourage people. That’s important to me that I can encourage someone who is having a rough day. Then, I love to work out and it helps keep those stress levels down—and my husband loves it when I work out as well, so I have to make that time to work out three times a week. Of course, with all of this—I need to make sure I’m spending time with God daily because if I don’t, I’m a trainwreck and weary. So I started the journal challenge on this blog to encourage people to spend daily time with God. It helps ME to stay on track. I’m on day 57 I believe. I also get invited to speak places, so my husband and I will travel go to preach a few times throughout the month. Mind you, all of the above needs to keep running on track, including the Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta, GA that I’m hosting January 24-27 2013. So…. NOW you understand why my husband felt the way he did. I felt so pulled, so overwhelmed. One day, I just broke down and cried. I had been going off of 4 hours of sleep a night, was in the middle of a huge project, trying to get out Pinky Promise orders, help people—and mind you, I still have a family and friends that expect me to call them and still continue developing a relationship with them. I couldn’t physically do it all. I was so tired.

I pulled away and got quiet before the Lord and I asked Him to help me. I wanted so bad to be this superwoman but it didn’t matter if home wasn’t happy and home sure wasn’t happy because I placed my husband at the bottom of all of that. I would cook here & there and the house was a wreck! I was a wreck too—I still wore dresses everyday while I worked from home but some days—it was yoga pants, a ponytail and no makeup. I didn’t have time in my mind to get dressed for real. During this time, I learned the real value of prioritizing. People always ask me, “How do you do it all?!” Well, I depend on God’s grace 24-7 to get me through each day and I make sure that spending time with God is my first priority and THEN my husband. So, I make a point to wake my tail up and cook for him throughout the week. This isn’t a law by any means but I want him to know that I am considering him first. Then, I get dressed because I know he likes for me to look nice—even if I work from home. Then, I go to my 9-6 and prioritize my day, making sure that I get deadlines out. I brought on two interns that come to my house a few times a week to help me get orders out. I also work into the night on bracelets but I don’t do it as much. I’ve given that responsibility to my team in Michigan who knocks out hundreds of bracelets weekly. I learned that what I think is so important, isn’t really important if my priorities aren’t in order. Don’t you understand that being “busy” breeds DISTRACTION? You’re “running here & “running there” and you’re not really getting anything done. What’s really important is not getting accomplished. We get so busy doing the work for Jesus, our kids, our family that we forget that we’re supposed to have a relationship with them as well. I stop and really listen to my husband. If he asks me to do something, I stop and do it. If I know he wants me to cook and I’m laying down after work.. exhausted, I get my butt up and serve him. I married my husband, not my job, or my ministry. And you better count the cost when you stand up there & run ya’ tail to the alter. Marriage is WORK in itself. My husband is gracious and understanding, but deep down—he still wants his meal and.. I want him to have it because I love him and desire to serve him.

When we’re overworked and tired, we’re most likely discouraged. We just don’t feel like there’s enough time in the day. When you’re discouraged, you may go into self-pity and throw a self-pity party. This is a party that only you attend and whoever else will listen to you. You may say “I work so hard, why doesn’t my husband cook for me or even THINK about dinner”, “why is it always my responsibility to clean up or to initiate the cleaning”, I work my butt off—why can’t I get that new this or that?”, or whatever reason or question you come up with.. will only dig you deeper into your hole. It reminds me of 1 King 18. Elijah had a HUGE victory in his life—fire came down from heaven and won the fight against the prophets of Baal. How AMAZING was that victory? Then, Jezebel said that she wanted him killed, so he went running for his life. He ended up running to the desert and hiding under a tree—crying out to God “Don’t you care about me??! You’re just gonna leave me out here like this Lord?” How often do we have great victories in our life and we watch God come in and do amazing things.. and then, we get distracted, weary, discouraged and wonder where He is. He’s in the SAME place HE has ALWAYS been. RIGHT there with you and at some point, you have to stop whimpering around and STAND up against stupid emotions that try to push you around. You don’t have to give into everything you “feel!” So the next time distractions or discouragement comes—fight back! If you keep reading into 1 King 19 God sent an angel to feed and protect Elijah in the midst of his frustration. So I know you may have a day where you feel overworked, tired, stressed out and out of balance but you need to go run to your Father’s feet. At His feet there is fullness of joy. At His feet there is peace. Remember that anything you cannot stop thinking about is an idol. So yes, your kids can be your idol. Your husband can be your idol. Your job can be your idol. It is out of my LOVE for Christ (If you’ve done it to the least of them, you’ve done it to me,” “Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord”) that I get my tail up and serve Him. My eyes stay on Christ. When they’re on HIM, He’ll give me the energy to work out, respond to emails, pray for the women, write my book, blog, cook, clean, take some mean time. I depend on His grace daily. It’s when I lift my eyes off of all of these worldly things, I can finally gain perspective. You gotta adjust how you’re seeing things!

So, I wanted to share some tips of things that I do that help refresh and energize me.

1. Spend time with God. Really. Spending time with God will give you PHYSICAL energy. I will say this in EVERY blog. Lets stop searching for some other formula.

2. Spend time with friends. I LOVE spending time with my girlfriends. We always plan girl trips at least annually and I am very intentional about spending time with my best friends. I know that with what God called me to do, I need to get refreshed and encouraged just laughing and hanging out with them. Girl time is vital.

3. ME time. I go shopping, to the spa, window showing, or just to a park and read a book. Spending time alone gives my head time to CLEAR.

4. I play dress up. Ok, I know it sounds kinda weird--- but I love shopping in my closet! I try on different outfits, and come up with new ones. I even do this in the middle of a deadline. It really clears my head. Lol

5. I take a moment and vent it all to God—raw & uncut! Lol I’m very honest with God—with my weaknesses and strengths, as HE already knows. I make it my business to shine the light on the areas where I’m a hot –mess so HE can change me. However, he seems to do a better job revealing than I do! Lol Read Psalms 62.. David poured his heart out to God daily. Such a beautiful example

6. I have a cheerleading section. Me & the Holy Spirit. I STIR myself up and I tell my emotions to shut up and to figure it out and trust God. I just don’t run around doing what I “feel.”

7. I step back from everything, and I ask God to help me to keep my eyes on heaven & HIS perspective and not my own.

8. I go running. Something about working out clears my head. Plus, it’s great for your body! #OperationSnatched

9. I cry. I’m not a big cry-person whatsoever, but sometimes, I got to get it all out and then set my mind that I trust God.

10. Spend time with my husband away from the house! We go get ice cream, or go to dinner- just to get away from the walls of the house.

This is heavy on my spirit—it’s ok to say NO to people. They will be just fine. Don’t let humans put a ton of pressure on you to do things. At times, I have to say “no” to people that want to pull on me or drain me. For example, I don’t take personal phone calls. At times, women from social media sites want me to call them to discuss their issue. I really want to be sensitive to their issue but if I called every woman that asked me too.. I would be out of balance again, drained and tired. I LOVE all of you that reach out to me and I PRAY for you daily but my husband and other priorities HAVE to come first at times. They just do. I work sun-up to sun DOWN and I rarely have the to come up for air. Thus, another reason I started the Pinky Promise groups—now we have an avenue to which the women can pray for each other and encourage one another. I’m only ONE person.

Don’t be afraid to cut people off that drain you and suck all your energy. If you’re surrounding yourself around a bunch of draining people, please believe that you’ll most likely be even more overwhelmed and tired trying to please them and keep up with your schedule as you walk on egg shells around them. That just raises your blood pressure. Aint worth it. I have eliminated any friendship where I believed that I couldn’t be myself. That may sound harsh but I aint got time to be babyin’ anybody. Either you’re gonna give me the benefit of the doubt as a friend or you’re gonna have to move to the side. I totally LOVE you still. No hard feelings. You just cannot rock with me. You’re draining me and I need to be FOCUSED on what GOD is calling ME to do.

AND if you'll be in Charlotte, NC this weekend-- I will be preaching at the Ruckus House June 22nd at 7:30pm- located at 3650 Ruckus Road in Harrisburg, NC. Here's a link to the venue where I'll be teaching. http://www.ruckushouse.com/locations/harrisburg.html

God loves you like crazy,

(Had a girls trip this past weekend in Scottsdale, AZ at a BEAUTIFUL resort-- love my best friend Delan!)

Heather Lindsey

"Tell your Emotions to SHUT UP"

2012-06-05T09:53:00.001-07:00

It's time to attack this area. We have struggled in this area and our emotions and little feelings have been running our life for WAY too long! Today. We're putting the smackdown on our emotions. We can no longer afford to sit & entertain our feelings as they just go with the wind. YOUR LIFE can not be determined by HOW you feel!! How does that work??! At SOME point we have to TELL our emotions WHAT to do.

Let me be honest, as most of you know from my story-- that I was a train wreck. I was an emotional little mess. I loved to manipulate my little ex boyfriends when I was single with my emotions. I would cry if I didn't get my way, I would whine, or seduce them to get what I wanted and then roll my eyes & think "you idiot." Yeah, I was wrong-- crazy & without Christ. Even WITH Christ-- I still hadn't renewed my thinking in that area. That crap even tried to creep up into my courting relationship with Cornelius when we started courting. When we first started courting, I wanted my way. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it and if you didn't give it to me-- I was going to have an attitude. You better believe Cornelius was gonna feel it. I got what I wanted.
One weekend, I was having a rough week at work and I just wanted to get away. Back in the day, if I had a rough day-- I would book a flight and go somewhere to GET away. Yes, I ran from my problems. So, I already had a flight booked to visit Cornelius in about 3 weeks but I didn't care, I was going to Atlanta that weekend. So- I called him & said, I'm coming this weekend. I need to get away. He said, "No you're not"-- I'm like WHY!??! He was like, "We agreed that you were coming in 3 weeks and why would that change if you're having a bad day?" And I'm like "LOOK Negro, I'm coming because I want to see my boyfriend and I want to GET away-- like NORMAL couples-- what the heck is wrong with you??" And he stood his ground. He said, "We don't make emotional decisions because we have a rough day, we don't run from our problems.." ooohhhhhhhhhh ,I was HEATED! How was HE gonna tell me what to do?! Is he crazy? I'm fly. He must have not got the memo. After we hung up the phone.. I continued to search for flights.. I was gonna go SOMEWHERE. Then..

I sat, frustrated and started to cry as the Lord spoke to me. He said "Heather, you always run from your problems as if quickly changing your geographical location is going to fill your voids.. it may fill them temporarily but I desire to fill all of your heart, I know that you're having a rough week but I was there all along, I want your entire heart Heather. Stop trying to use humans and things to make you feel good about yourself. It's time to grow up." I stopped in my tracks... "But Lord, I hate these feelings in my heart, I hate that work stressed me out, I hate that Cornelius won't let me get my way, I'm frustrated Lord!! You have to help me!!" He whispered, "What else makes you mad?".. well, I'm frustrated about.. this.. & that. He said.. "I desire for you to be content in every way & in every area. This is a good start. Pour your heart out to me daily and stop carrying all of that care. When you spend time with me, don't make it a law or a "check" on your wall of your good deeds, spend time and enjoy me freely. I desire a relationship with you. My child, I love you. I dance over you with singing-- I knew you long before you were in your mothers womb and I called you for a purpose. We are going to get through these areas together. My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is perfected in your weakness." I responded.. "Daddy, I'm so sorry. I repent. This issue is greater than me wanting to get away.. it was a chance for me to fill YOU with yet another person, thank GOD Cornelius stuck to his word & pushed me towards you Lord-- Daddy, I am going to work on this but I just need your help. I cannot deal with these emotions by myself, I need YOUR help. I'm lost and nothing without you Daddy."

3 weeks after with my hubby for our "planned" trip! Was worth the wait!

That DAY was a turning point for me. I realized that I was an emotionally led woman. No longer was I going to try to manipulate Cornelius with my emotions or others. I was determined to grab ahold of them. This is when I begin to tell my emotions to shut up. This is when I went hard against Satan's attacks & foreboding thoughts. This is a DECISION. When your co-worker is poppin' off at the mouth-- you don't have to respond with the same drama! Respond in LOVE. Smile, tell your emotions to hush & "win people over with your quiet & gentle spirit"- (1 Peter 3:4). If your husband or boyfriend is off the chain-- respond differently. Don't be that overly emotional woman or man. Nobody will want to be AROUND you. You want to be LOVED & not TOLERATED. If you ALWAYS have some drama going on around you, it makes it HARD for people to be themselves with you, worrying that they will "say " the wrong thing as they walk on eggshells around you. And if others around you are overly emotional-- LOVE never fails. So don't entertain it. Don't give into the attention and remember that whatever you FED will only GROW. If you continue to FEED an emotional person, they will continue to manipulate others with their emotions. Shut it down. You cannot change others, but you can change YOU. God wants your HEART.

I always like to include just a few practical tips.-- HOW to tell your emotions to SHUT UP!

1. Tell your emotions to shut up often. If you feel them rising up, check yourself.
2. Do a quick "emotion" check-- meaning that if you're upset-- slow down, analyze the situation. Ask yourself if you have a REAL reason to be UPSET or are you just being emotional. Judge yourself quickly before you run & make a decision to "confront" somebody with MORE emotions.
3. Mind your business. Half the time you're ready to pop off on someone is because of the way they "Treated someone else"-- God fights our battles. Words are powerful & they hurt LONG after the fight is over.
4. Spend crazy time with God. THIS will NEVER change. You will be less likely to pop off on someone if you're spending regular time with God. The whole goal is to SPEND time in His word & APPLY it. You should be meditating on scriptures & using those as ammo throughout your day. Join the journal challenge! This will help greatly!
5. Stop hanging with messy, overly emotional people. IF you have a ton of super emotional friends or you watch a ton of emotional Basketball wives TV shows.. what else do you think is going to come OUT of your heart??! You planted drama, you'll harvest more drama.

It's easy for you to argue & fight with everyone. It take a STRONG women to control her emotions. God wants to be able to TRUST you. Can HE?!

Before I close, just a reminder that I'm introducing Pinky Promise's first ring. If you purchase any two items off of www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com then you can type in "CROSSRING" as a discount and we'll ship you one for free. 100% of the proceeds this week goes to our missions trip to Ethiopia August 13th. We'll be out there feeding the homeless, preaching, laying hands on the sick and helping at the orphanage. Here's a picture of the ring.

God LOVES you like crazy,

"How to Start a Business- God's Way + Up & Comers"

2012-05-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

People ask me ALL the time-- HOW did you start Pinky Promise??! I want to start a new business & I don't know where to start. Let's all be clear, I didn't mean to start Pinky Promise. I really didn't. GOD birthed this crazy passion in me years ago to help women and show them that their value and worth comes from Christ alone. I didn't set out to turn this into a business with a full store. I just wanted to help people. I've ALWAYS loved accessories and WWJD bracelets so I figured.. what a great idea to make a bracelets that shows our promise.. or vow to honor God with our life & body until we get married. I put one online .. thinking that nobody would care..

I honestly thought that maybe 50 or 60 people would buy bracelets-- but THEN.. so many people said they would wear it and that they wanted to purchase one. I saw the demand for people that need fun daily reminders of their decision.. but I still didn't think anything of it. Until I created www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com which is my online store. I put a few bracelets up.. and to date.. there's been somewhere around 10,000 plus orders in JUST a couple months! (It was birthed January 26th 2012.)

I was shocked! I'm like, LORD! Where did all these people come from?! Then, I decided to name the line Pinky Promise. It's a promise or a vow to honor God with your life and your body-- whether single or married. Ya'll know what I mean married folks-- the attacks don't stop after you get married. After I sent out thousands and thousands of bracelets, I went to the Lord to discuss ways to keep the movement going. He showed me how important it was to get people involved. If you can get people involved-- they will have accountability to KEEP their promises & vows to God! So, I started small groups and now we have over 1500 members and over 120 small groups ALL over the world! They meet twice a month (at least) and I teach once a month. During their meetings-- they go over a study that I prepare based on what we're studying that month. In May, we studied Salvation and in June we'll be studying Discontentment and how it affects our life. Each month we have a different study.. (emotions, health, purpose, etc)

If you want to join a group in your local area or to start one-- you can go to www.pinkypromisemovement.com and be sure to watch the Orientation. Since it's birth, we've started a journal challenge, started selling journals, No Randoms & Pinky Promise tees & so much more! We are also having a Pinky Promise conference (www.pinkypromiseconference.com) in January of 2013 (Jan 24-27) and we invite you join us!

Pinky Promise has been such a blessing to me!! It's been such a fun way outwardly to express the decision we made in our heart. We're going in stores soon, working with youth groups, public schools and so much more-- spreading the word that YOU are worth the WAIT and that you don't have to entertain unhealthy relationships! Now, I have tens of thousands of new sisters in Christ that have experienced what I've gone through & are pressing into Christ! HOW amazing!?! We ALL have ONE goal-- that is to HONOR GOD WITH OUR LIFE, for real.

So, I say all of this to say.. How do you start you own business?

1. Don't do it for money. We chase God-- not stuff. Please believe you'll be using ALOT of your OWN money so it betta be a "God-idea" so HE can fund it.

2. Do what you're passionate about! Not what you mom wants you to be passionate about.

3. Do your research! Find out what others are doing in your market

4. Time management is important! Pinky Promise is a FULL time job so I have been learning to balance everything which is a huge task at times. Pinky Promise has been added to my already full plate!

5. Spend crazy time with God daily. Remember that this is HIS business, you're just managing it. If your business is really God-- He will lead you.

6. Hang in there when things look rough .. as long as you know you have a GOD idea & not a "good" idea, hang in there. Sometimes, God allows dry seasons just to develop you & show you that HE is the only One that matters, not all this fluff.

7. Have purpose in your business. Everything at Pinky Promise has a PURPOSE.

8. Don't compare your portion to ANYBODY elses! Period. Yeah, they may be doing what you're doing but GOD told YOU to do it. So stay in your lane.

9. Customer service is important. Make sure you respond quickly to folks. Imagine having over 10,000 orders.. and dealing with changed addresses, lost orders, etc!

10. Don't get discouraged. Be prepared to front some of your OWN money at times to take care of your business. You will have long hours with no what seems like benefit. Just hang in there. Stay close to God. He leads & guides you.

11. YOU HAVE TO BE ORGANIZED. Pull on accountants or people that can help you keep the numbers right. You'll need a EIN (Employee Identification Number) -- you can just go to any bank and open up a business account and they will give you one.

12. Figure out what type of business you have-- Non-Profit? LLC? Do your reasearch and plan to spend money. Can be upwards to $1,000 plus depending on what you plan to start.

13. Get your stuff TRADEMARKED. I compared & contrasted between a ton of attorneys and I went with Legalzoom.com as it was recommended by a TON of attorneys. They filed for me & it worked out perfectly. Plan to spend about $1,000+ to get your trademark. You don't want someone to come in & steal your idea or logo.

14. If you're a non-profit-- get some grant writers to give you GRANTS to do what you're doing.

15. File your taxes. Get a 1099 & file!! Don't try to get around it because you may end up in jail. If you sold some stuff or made a profit, you gotta pay taxes on it. Period. They somehow will find you.

In lieu of this blog, I wanted to share one of my favorite bracelets.. the "Linda Cross Bracelet" that is named after my mother. If you place your order within the next week (until June 1st)-- you will receive 20% off the Linda Cross Bracelet. Just type in: LINDACROSS1 for the discount on www.heatherlove.bigcartel.com

Ok, I always want to HIGHLIGHT some up & comers. So, I've compiled a few people that I personally recommend & LOVE. These folks are totally in love with Jesus & they have some amazing gifts.

First up:

Hope Ballenger

Company: Hope Ballenger Photography

Hope was working at AT&T and was a bit frustrated with how she spent her days working for someone else. One day, she went into Best Buy & somehow ended up with a professional camera. The light went OFF! SHE fell in love with Photography! I had no idea that my friend, Hope did photography-- she kind of just sprang it on me & I saw some of her work! I was blown away. So, I had to book a photoshoot with her! I was blown away by how easy it was to work with her & her beautiful ideas. She's officially the Pinky Promise Photographer so she'll be at the Conference in January! HOPE has such a beautiful GIFT. Honored to work with her.
Hope Ballenger Photography
Contact number 864-650-7375
Email address: hopeballengerphoto@gmail.com
www.hopebphoto.com
Facebook: Facebook.com/hopeballengerphoto

Some of our photoshoot! :)

Terry-Ann Phillips

Company: Designer/Stylist of Thierry Couture

I have known Terry Ann for a few years now from my days in New York City! I had NO clue that deep within her was this amazing eye for style & designing! When Terry first told me that she wanted to make a dress for me, I have to be honest-- I was nervous! I didn't even tell her what I wanted-- I just told her to go at it! I really wanted to see her talent! So I gave her my measurements (over the phone!) and she went to work! Two days before my trip to go out of town.. arrives this dress. I was SHOCKED! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! I put the dress on and the material was SO high END I was blown away! It was like.. the dress was mad perfectly for my BODY. Every detail was handcrafted.. I was in love! This dress was so slimming and I would HIRE TerryAnn to make ANY special occasion dress! Seriously! She also made this amazing yellow feather piece below that I wore in San Juan, PR last month. Again, FIT like a glove and a one-of-a-kind piece. Kudos to you Terry. You're amazing & God has gifted you!

Website www.thierrycouture.com
Email address: Thierryann.com@gmail.com
Instagram: Terryann64
Twitter: terryann333

Last but not least...

Ali North

Company: Sweet Expectations Certified Baby Planner

As you know, I don't have any babies yet (thank God-- that in due season, He will grace me with babies & TIME to take care of them with my work schedule!) but my PR company told me about this-- and I just had to look into it! You know how you have.. an event planner, wedding planner.. all that good stuff? What happens if you have a baby for the first time & you don't have a CLUE where to start?! That's where Ali comes in! She is a BABY planner! I think it's such a smart idea! She's totally knowledgeable about all those things you don't even think of! I would "like" her page on facebook and check out her site! She also started this business to help women that were considering abortion.. as a way to say, "I'm here to help you, you aren't alone." AMAZING!!!!!!

www.sweetexpectationsbabyplanner.com
www.facebook.com/losangelesbabyplanner
Twitter: @BabyPlannerAli
Cell: 310-922-6682

I hope these ideas have inspired you to be & do EVERYTHING that God you to do. Remember that there's a TIME for everything under the sun. At times, we can step out and do things that God told us wasn't the right "time" for us to start. So be patient if you have an idea in your heart. God will bring those things to pass in DUE time. WHEN you're living for GOD-- HE will organize it, network it, introduce you to the right people by setting you up.. over & over again. You don't have to do stupid things for success.. SUCCESS is FOUND in obeying God. Period.
God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey