Hechkok Thoughts

أحلام يناير المبلولة

2012-01-19T17:38:00.002+02:00

- إنهاردة الدنيا ساقعة بجد، برد ما شوفناهوش من عشر سنين، مع إن درجة الحرارة محتملة بصعوبة بس الناس كان واحشها البرد و الشتا فا ماحدش زعلان ، الناس بردانة بس.

- مين مايحبش يشوف الشوارع مغسولة و الدنيا نضيفة و بتبرق، مين مايحبش البرد و لسعته بعد شوية دفا أو كنة، مين مايحبش يشوف المصريين و هم بيجروا من المطر و البرد و هما عمرهم ما بيجروا أصلا، ربنا يكون فى عون الفقير اللى ماعوش حاجة تدفيه فى البرد ده.

- حالة غريبة من الترقب و الإنتظار ، فعلا والله الناس فى بلدنا كلهم دايما مستنيين، مستنيين حاجات غريبة و مستنيينها طول عمرهم، حتى فى عز الثورة إللى عملناها و ماكملتش، كلهم مستنيين 25 يناير يحل علينا من تانى عشان يرجعوا يثوروا، ماهو المفروض بصراحة الأوضاع تصحى الميتيين من غير مواعيد محددة بس واضح إن فى ناس يأست من أول المعركة و ناس ثانية بتتلكك عشان ما تثورش.

- هى الموازين اللى إتقلبت واحدة واحدة فى 30 سنة إزاى بدلتنا و بدلت مفاهيمنا بالشكل ده، أزاى إتغير مفهومنا البسيط عن الصح و الغلط بالشكل ده، إزاى بقينا بنحارب عشان نقول الحاجات البسيطة المباشرة، مثلا إن إللى غلط مهما كبر أو صغر لازم يتحاسب و يتحاكم عشان يأخذ جزاءه و كمان عشان العدل بين البشر هو مفتاح الأمان و إن المحسوبية و الواسطة بداية سكة الفساد و الخراب، بس للأسف كلام مش بيعجب كل الناس.

- المجلس العسكرى عمل مليون حاجة غلط و ثلث أربع حاجات صح، بس الأكيد أن الإعلام فى عصره قدر يفرق الناس مليون شعبة و حتى نوعيات المصريين فرق بينها، بأه فى ناس عايزين الخير لبلدهم و عندهم إستعداد يضحوا بحياتهم بجد و مع ذلك ممكن يكونوا مش محبوبين إطلاقا من الإعلام، و ناس عايزين الخير لبلدهم بس خايفين على حياتهم و حياة ولادهم و يمثلوا الهدف الرئيسى للإعلام ، و فى ناس عايزين البلد تفضل خرابة عشان يعرفوا يفضلوا يسرقوها و دول المجلس و الإعلام عامل مش شايفهم، الحقيقة الوحيدة إن الصح و الغلط عمره ما هيتغير عشان مصلحة حد.

- أنا شايف الثورة لسة ما إبتدش ، يمكن كمان كام سنة تقوم ثورة بجد تعدل الحال المايل و تقيم العدل بين الناس و تحاكم الغلطان مهما كان جاهه و سلطانه و بكده تخلى المصريين يرجعوا لطبيعتهم السمحة و الطيبة و نرجع مهد الحضارة من ثانى، مفيش تغيير حقيقى من غير عدل كامل غير منقوص.

- واضح إن المطر و البرد أثروا عليا أنا كمان، الدنيا مافيهاش ملايكة فيها بنى ادمين من كل نوع فيهم خير و شر، بس هوة ساعات الواحد بتاخده الجلالة و يبقى عايز يصلح الكون و هوه أصلا مش عارف يصلح فى نفسه.

فتنة ولا فتة كبيرة

2011-10-12T16:09:00.000+02:00

والله يا جماعة أنا عندى شوية أسئلة محيرانى أوى ، من ساعة ما الثورة أبتدت و بعد التنحى الفظيع و الواحد حاسس إن فى حاجة غلط، ردود فعل الناس بقت عجيبة و غير متوقعة، أنا ممكن أتخيل أسباب كل واحد بس مش معقول المعايير إتغيرت بالشكل ده فى 30 سنة.

أول حاجة إزاى نمسك حرامى و قاتل و رئيس عصابة و قبل ما نحاكمه نوافق على طلبه إننا نخالف الدستور و نجيب المجلس العسكرى يحكم بدل رئيس المحكمة الدستورية العليا زى الدستور ما بيقول... مع إنه حرامى و ممسوك بس له شروط لازم تتنفذ مش غريبة دى.

ثانى حاجة رئيس العصابة نفسه وعدنا بالفوضى و حكم الإسلاميين لو هو مشى و الحمد لله المجلس العسكرى بيضبط كلام الراجل بالحرف عن طريق التباطئ فى ردود الفعل مع شعب ثائر، عن طريق التهاون مع أفراد العصابة حميعا، و ده واضح للجميع فى البداية المتأخرة للمحاكمات بعد تركهم لشهور لتوفيق أوضاعهم و تضبيطها، أيضا عن طريق بطئ المحاكمات نفسها و التى لم تنتهى حتى الآن، و إعطاء حرية و وعود للإسلاميين على حساب باقى الفصائل بنصيب فى مجلس الشعب و التركيز عليهم فى الإعلام فى الوقت ذاته بصورة غير مبررة.

ثالث حاجة إزاى الباشا الكبير أوى صاحب الأملاك و الأراضى النائب العام عبد المجيد محمود يستمر فى منصبه حتى الآن و كأنه بطل من أبطال الثورة مع إنه خدم كتير أوى مع رئيس العصابة و الشياكة بتقول كفاية كده بس إزاى ده بطل و بيستحمل و لازم يكمل كأن مصر مافيهاش رجالة ولا بتوع قانون غير واحد بس، و عليه فالقضايا كلها متظبطه ان شاء الله و شباب العصابة كلهم طالعين براءة عن قريب.

رابع حاجة إزاى نمسك رئيس العصابة عشان نحاكمه و نسيب أفراد العصابة يلعبوا مع إنهم معروفين بالإسم بس ماحدش بيتحاكم غير لما الناس تطلبه عشان يتحاكم، أما بقيت العصابة فاللى يهرب يهرب و اللى يخرب يخرب واللى يبيع يبيع، صدفة :ان ماحدش واخد باله، مع ان الأعضاء الفاسدين فى الحكومة القديمة و الحزب الوطنى المنحل معروفين بالأسم لكننا نفاجئ بهم فى تشكيل الحكومة الجديدة و فى التليفزيون و فى كل مصيبة تقع على دماغنا، كأن مصر مافيهاش ناس محترمة غير شوية الحرمية دول، لكن ماحدش يكلمهم و لا ياخد باله منهم و لا حتى يحاكمهم على اللى عملوه أو اللى بيعملوه و نرجع نقول البلطجية و الفوضى و مين السبب.

خامس حاجة و دى اللى غريبة فعلا إزاى المظاهرة قبل و بعد الثورة تبقى سلمية و تفضل سلمية طول الوقت و لكن بعد ساعات من السلمية بدون شرطة أو جيش نفاجأ بأفعال بلطجة و تخريب فى نفس وقت ظهور الشرطة أو الجيش و كأنهم يا أخى متفقين، و تبتدى المشاحنات التى تنتهى عادة بعنف مفرط من جانب الشرطة أو الجيش و شهداء و دماء.

سادس حاجة إزاى عايزين يقنعونا إن بلدنا فيها فتنة طائفية بعد فضايح الداخلية و أمن الدولة فى تفجير كنيسة القديسين و فى قتل الأبرياء فى محولة لإيجاد جانى وهمى، إزاى نصدق إنها حاجات مش مرتبة مع إن الحياة بين المسلم و المسيحى فى مصر حياة طبيعية جدا لم يغيرها غير بعض المتطرفين دينيا فى الجانبين و أرائهم المليئة بالكره و الحقد و الدالة على ما يضمرون فعلا و التى تلقى رواجا مع بعض ضعاف النفوس فى ظروف خاصة جدا.

سابع حاجة لغز الألغاز الحكومة الضعيفة اللى بيقولوا عليها حكومة الثورة رغم إنها باقية تحت رغبة المجلس العسكرى فقط و التى لم تعالج أى مشكلة و لم تتخذ أى موقف إيجابى منذ توليها مقاليد الأمور و التى لا يعرف أحد سر إستمرارها فى العمل رغم عدم كفاءتها ألا المجلس العسكرى نفسة و لأسباب خاصة جدا بعد أن أثبتت للعامة فشلها فى كل المواقف ، شىء محتاج وقفة.

الموقف فعلا صعب دلوقتى، صعب على كل الأطراف، مجلس خايف يسيب الحكم لا ييجى حد مدنى يحكم فيحاكمه و يحاسبه على أفعاله قبل و بعد الثورة و ساحب وراه جيش مصر كله، فلول و أصحاب جاه و سلطة فى الرمق الأخير من حياتهم الإجرامية، مبدأهم الوحيد إما رجوع النظام القديم بمفاسده و ظلمه أو إغراق البلد فى الفوضى للهروب من الحساب و العقاب، شعب فقد إيمانه بالمثل العليا و هو يرى رئيس العصابة المفترية و هو فى طريقه للبراءة و بحصوله على هذه البراءة يدشن الحجر الأول فى نعش هذه الثورة. فحتى المبدأ الأوحد الذى أردنا الخروج به من هذه الأحداث لنعلمه لأولادنا بعد ان كنا نسيناه و هو إن الظالم لا بد له من نهاية مهما طال العمر أصبح مشكوك فيه نتيجة لقضاءنا العظيم المفدى.

أما عن حلم إنتخابات مجلس الشعب و الرئاسة الحرة و النزيهة فقد بات بعيد المنال فى ظل هذه الفوضى المفروضة علينا من حكامنا و من جهاز الشرطة الشريف و وزارة الداخلية العصماء، و سوف نظل نجرى خلف هذا السراب حتى يمل أحدنا لعبة الإنتظار.

إن الأمل الوحيد الباقى لهذه الأمة هو فى الإسراع بتطبيق القانون بحذافيره على الجميع بمنتهى العدل و الشفافية، القانون المدنى العادى مع تفعيله بمنتهى الحزم على جميع فئات الشعب بدون أدنى تمييز و هو ما يعيد كرامة المصريين جميعا و يعدل كفة الميزان و يحفز الناس على العمل و البناء و إحترام الحكام و الأجهزة الأمنية و العسكرية بدون عنف، و يقود الناس إلى إنتخابات برلمانية و رئاسية نزيهة و معبرة عن أراء المواطنين البسطاء قبل أى فصيل آخر.

Ramadan Thoughts

2011-08-24T15:31:00.000+02:00

-Each year that passes in your life, you believe more in the holiness of Ramadan, how your feelings change from counting the hours of fasting and thinking about water and hot weather before Ramadan, to a complete change in your spiritual and social life.

A pleasant change due to fasting with a deeper meaning, due to praying in mosques with a spiritual Ramadan feeling, and due to connecting many levels of people such as friends, family and even the poor ones around you. Your feelings start to change rapidly and you get to feel that Ramadan is a timed bless from God, to reconnect your soul to the life around you, and to provide you with a small taste of the spiritual life you are missing.

-Libya is partially liberated, although they still cannot find the Fugitive “Elgaddafy”, he ran away and may be they will never find him, but am sure they are better off, they have an advantage that we do not have, people there are clearly divided into two groups the revolution group and the pro Gaddafy group. The fight was long enough to separate between them clearly, so now when everything is settled, only the revolution group will begin the construction of Libya, giving the county a real opportunity to experience something freshly new away from all the rotten policies and ideas.

-The fight in Syria took so much time, till today the killing machine is still on, the revolution is getting stronger day after day, as people begin to realize clearly the only path they have to freedom, unfortunately as long as the fight continues, the end of Bashar Elassad will be dramatically ugly and painful.

-So many political opinions these days are favouring the big conspiracy theory regarding the Arab world political changes, giving many mistaken evidences of foreign interferences in our Arab revolutions waves, forgetting the true role of foreign powers in our country through their rotten corrupted subjects called falsely “Arab leaders”.

The so-called leaders who sacrificed every national benefit and every true constructive project or plan for their own private benefit and wealth, through internal corruption and external week reconciliations to reserve their posts as long as they can.

This was the real conspiracy that targeted our Arab citizens for decades, the one that is falling with each country heading to real democracy and freedom day after day.

-The scenario that was planned for Egypt is changing consequently, despite all the bad intentions represented by the military council, despite all the plots and schemes we are facing from the pro Mubarak remnants, despite the ignorance and need of the people that are used by every corrupted businessman to cover his ace.

-We must believe something simple and clear, the Field Marshal “Tantawy” will stand in front of any progress in the democratic process, with all his powers to keep the old system away of accountability and to keep himself by sequence from it. For sure, he will not sacrifice his own freedom to serve our country future, he knows very well the amount of corruption he shared with the old gang, and he is planning not to surrender to accountability ever. He is seeking for an imaginary getaway to help him saving his old gang without conflicting with the Rebels, which will be impossible.

-Therefore, “Tantawy” will simply go on with the schemes of dividing the rebels and turning them over each other or by attacking the rebel’s icons by media scandals or by publicly spreading that the revolution is the cause of all the problems we are facing nowadays using in this path all the power of the civilian and military intelligence combined with the national security forces and their expertise in this field.

-A simple plan to turn the Egyptian people on the revolution, accompanied by some unexplained rising borders issues with Israel, he won’t face any difficulty to appear as the only savior of the country, to continue ruling the country until the danger reveals, forgetting all about parliament and presidential elections, which in all cases will condemned him one day.

-The sad part of my simple point of view is that the military forces themselves are not in a position to rebel or revolute over the military council despite all the flaws and scandals they observe and realize day after day. That is due because of the incredible increase in all the military salaries and living standards after 25/1/1011, a very clever move from the council to secure their posts and their positions in these hard changing times, which will leave us in these looping circles of mistrust, until the truth reveal itself.

The first big push

2011-08-15T12:20:00.000+02:00

I wrote this post three months ago, and because of some work I did not finish it, and today while searching in my notebook, I found it and after reading it another time, I think it still fits what is going on till today.

Before 25.1.11, everything around me was easy and simple, I never thought of changing or planning for my country and I had the smallest reaction toward crisis and disasters that does not affect me personally.

All of a sudden, everything changed after that date, as if this country turned to be mine in one night, turned to be my proud forgotten legacy, turned to be one of the things I would proudly die for.

Till today I feel a very weird new feeling, as if I am tired from waiting, anxious for the future, full of passion and dreams for my country and feeling the big burden of this responsibility as I never did before without really knowing what to do.

Sometimes simply the daily news can turn me upside down which never happened to me before, as if things became more personnel to me, maybe that’s why I begin to feel I need to do something tangible to this country, something measured and felt, not just some plan words.

So many variables, so many differences and so many thoughts and ideas, the big giant called Egypt was released from his chains after just an arm move, he didn’t need to move all his body to make this change, just an arm represented by some millions of Egyptians in the streets turned the balance of power upside down.

The sound of the truth is rising again, it took this giant a while to realize the real impact of what he did, as it was an unexpected move from the giant it lead to an unexpected result from the people in power, hope is raised again, and the way to the light is somehow clearer now.

After being chained for 30 years, it will take this giant sometime to stand up and walk again. He just has to unify his thoughts and ideas, into one big push to stand up and another big one to begin walking and then things will be all right.

But in real life things aren’t this simple, after many years of a brutal control over ideas, thoughts and opinions, after many years of injustice, lake of freedom and brutality, people are shouting and fighting with their thoughts and ideas instead of sharing and gathering them.

It will take them sometime to realize the right path to use and unify their resources, ideas and opinions toward a beautiful, honourable and yet unified goal and aim, it will take them sometime to realize the real power of their differences.

How they absorb any culture or religion without changing the real ancient fabric of the Egyptian people?

How they will absorb all these new different waves and directions into something better, when we just realize our true enemies, when we just realize what is really threatening this nation, when we realize the frauds and the conspiracies we are facing, represented in few elements.

Sick religion men, with sick ideas and directions, you can find them everywhere today, on YouTube, on public and private media, or in any crisis or problem that rises in the streets, preaching and advising people without any authorization, without any public or governmental reference, driving the country toward a dark chaos, some of the things that must be controlled.

A very corrupted and pointless media, aiming and searching for survival and advertising, without any benefit to this country, and with no true intentions to help building this new country called EGYPT through real constructive programs, real positive analysis and real solutions to our economic and social crisis.

A slow, inefficient and sometimes even doubtful decision making process, clearly represented by a military council and a so-called publicly chosen temporary government, and here is the real dilemma, in this situation in order to pass the changing phase you have to believe in this decision making process despite all its flaws, because simply we have no other choice,

A slow, weird, doubtful yet honorable legal system, who in my opinion will be the real motor of this revolution once it was purified and cleaned from the old regime known corrupted icons, I have no doubt this will happen in the near future, despite all what we are forced to believe these days.

Ignorant people and the inherited Chaos combined with some bad corrupted minds, who are still trying to survive the old system as a final hope for them, through racist conspiracies, through thugs operations using the lake of security, trying to spread chaos to show the simple people a so-called dark side of the revolution.

The absence of a true hero or a leader to be followed, to represent a raw model for the youth, someone with a wide national vision, that absorb all the different voices heard today.

A common Egyptian who can simply translate this vision into many national projects, that uses all this labor force to raise this country economic and culture level in a few number of years.

Simply we were falling for several years now, but after breaking these chains, the way is clear to the light now, it only needs some unity in forces, thoughts, resources, ideas and visions to create the first big push.

United EGYPT

2011-03-10T15:54:00.001+02:00

I was driving today morning to work and a strange idea popped into my head, In all this changing conditions and situations we are facing, how to have a solid stable opinion, positive and powerful enough to help and push people, how will I really participate in this revolution, how I will really have a part in all these events, how will I be useful to this movement and how to boost it to overcome the corruption it is facing each day and the chaos seekers who are fighting this revolution each morning with a new destructive idea.

In all these disasters and crisis we are facing each day, how to realize the real truth behind the manipulation, the deceases, the media tricks and the rumours spread by chaos seekers. How to have an undeniable believe about the greatness and the originality of the Egyptian people, a believe that despite the number of corrupted people and despite the amount of corruption that sneaked under our community for 30 years, we are still capable of climbing this mountain of filth to reach the top clean new civilized Egypt we are all wishing for.

People through this revolution were usually divided into two groups, a group who accepted any given offer and are ok with any proposed solution all along the changing situation, like “Mubarak must stay for 6 months” like “Shafik should continue the changing phase” the people who did nothing to this revolution except watching the news and talking, People who in reality don’t think of anything except their own present benefit, they can’t even see the near future they choose and the disasters it brings, they refuse to believe or to see that may be the solution won’t come so easy and so quickly, It is so hard , painful and exhausting to change a country from the lower base of corruption to the upper surface of honesty in less than two months of time.

On the other hand another group who were looking for the best they can get for this changing nation to be free and alive again, to regain its true peaceful and honest nature. They represent a new group of Egyptians who are thinking in the future with a new prospective, with a new vision, with a new spirit of change, with a new believe for success, with lots of details and ideas about how they want their country and how they will work to reach their desired new EGYPT.

This is the spirit we are seeking, a spirit that was reborn in the streets during the revolution days, Egyptians who are back to be proud of their race and nationality one more time, a united fabric of people who stood against all the violence and the corruption in this country and succeed to change it into hope, love and peace used to rebuild a lost and forgotten nation called EGYPT.

These are the real Egyptians we heard about, these are the standards, attitudes and behavior of normal common Egyptians, no Christian or no church has been harmed or hurt during the absence of the security in the streets in the first three weeks of the revolution, so how come we witness this fabricated conflict as soon as the police and security forces took place and become active again, simply we must realize the wicked plan, we are still facing some anti revolution icons or chaos seekers such as Safwat Elsherif, Zakareya Azmy, Fathy Sorour, Mofid Shehab and many others who till now are free to corrupt and manipulate what they still control, who are still playing in the back ground of the media, the security system and some newspapers.

These corrupted Icons are still powerful with all the rest of the “Watany” and “Amn Eldawla” flees, the corruption money they still control and the paid thugs and thieves they still own.

Their only aim and purpose is to drive the country into a dark rotten valley, to distract the people and to lead them simply to chaos, to prove the failure of this revolution through days and to bring to surface our need to the old regime security control just to live a secured normal life.

It will not happen In Sha2 Allah with the help of all the united fabric of Egyptians, we won’t surrender to these corrupted icons whatever they do, we won’t let them deform and destroy our beautiful revolution purposes and objectives, we must stop these corrupted icons and their followers and begin their trial as quickly as possible, to be able to quickly stop all their wicked schemes and conspiracies to separate and broke this united community fabric we build together for years, their interference in our live through rumors, media or any other mean and their deformation of our revolution must stop at once.

Youth Revolution for a free EGYPT

2011-02-16T15:42:00.000+02:00

For some time now, I have stopped writing, for some time now I was not believing what is going to my country, for some time now events around me are faster than the words I may write, for some time now the change I was searching for all my life was just beginning, for some time now am proud to witness all the events we are facing on daily basis, for some time now I can’t stop watching the news, for some time now dreams are no longer far away, for some time now I am very proud to be Egyptian living in a new free inspiring nation called EGYPT.

It was somehow a short revolution in terms of days; it took Egyptians only 17 days to gain the fruits of their revolution, from the famous day everything began the 25^th of January 2011 till the departure of Mubarak on the 11^th of February 2011, a clean, peaceful revolution to bring back freedom to the Egyptian hearts and minds.

But for strange reasons and with no explanations you are faced with a bad and serious situation, you have little time to enjoy your personnel freedom and even the real freedom of your home country, may be enjoyment itself is meant to be a short pleasure. With no doubts the fear and worries about our future is overwhelming the joy of liberation after may be less than one week, people seams not believing what happened, they are still in streets protesting for some random reasons, some personnel benefits and some irrelative causes, the country is still in a mess day after day, chaos is becoming a bad habit that people are afraid of losing and the whole situation is going from bad to worse.

Many institutions, banks , factories, and even public services entities are in stroke or are out of business for different stupid reasons, you can clearly hear the voice of some simple people asking about their share from the wealth of the corrupted people judged now a days, others are wondering how they will benefit from this freedom and liberation, people everywhere are confused and mislead by an ignorant media, and somehow it is our part o inlight them and to guide them to the right chosen channels to begin the real work and the rebuilding process.

We need also from our temporary government to give us guidelines and directions toward our future plans and our different ways of participation to these plans. A new advanced better EGYPT will take from us double the quantity of effort and attention we used to give; it will demand more care and more affection to the little details and the fine parts, it will need from all of us to work and to plan for our long and short term future, it will need from all the existing different parties to get along on a strategic plan for the whole nation, some defined goals we can all share and we are all willing to achieve in a certain period of time, we need to define also the ways to make us all participate in these plans in a clear transparent and direct way.

We successfully erased the old political rotten system, we successfully gave a strong message to anyone who will lead this nation, we are free men and we intent to stay like this, but the time for protesting is over, the time for disagreeing and arguing is ending, it is time to work, time to create and rebuild our life, our different systems and our manners and ethics on new advanced and adjusted basis, to assure one day the creation of a new positive, healthy, cooperative, self improving society, for a better Egypt in the near future.

I have seen the Videos posted about Wael Ghoneim lately on the media, an activist who had a certain leading role in the Youth Revolution, who is under the media spot these days with lots of rumors and gossip.

I still find nothing to shame this guy, even his work with Google the internet Giant corporation, for sure he was a brilliant person to be chosen for such a job, and for sure if you would like to work in a multinational firm or institute, you will be finally working for a Jewish lobby somewhere, be reasonable, they (and here I mean the People who have the Jewish religion and different nationalities and not Israeli people) are controlling the media and the finance business and many other things in our world, a truth you will face once you decided to go on a worldwide business, it never tells how patriot or trader your intentions are, may be for some simple less educated people it has a certain significant but sure not for me.

We used to fight anything new in our lives as a learned lesson taught to us threw years by the old political system, we also used to accumulate hopes and dreams over certain people and then blame them for our failure and losses, especially when we realize that the revolution we experienced was initiated by some computer geeks, bloggers and political activists who used to fight with the keyboard through the different social networks and groups.

The well educated and sophisticated people who refused to accept the corruption and the theft of their country and were positive enough to make a step in the right direction, these are the people who initiated our revolution not the poor or the needy who joined the cause after the departure of Mubarak, that’s why I understand the ear and the amount of rumors and gossip related to these youth and their origins, intentions and loyalties.

We should never blame Wael Ghoeim as we can simply realize how ordinary and casual he is, we should be glade and thankful he helped this revolution and he had a part in all of this while we had no hopes at all.

I am just sharing some fears from some secret foreigner actions and movements toward our nation in this critical time period, for example the strange movements of the US Army and fleets toward our coasts and especially the Suez Canal, I can imagine how important and strategic this canal can be for the whole world, I am sure also the Americans have their own Agenda to benefit from our current situation as much as possible, so I am just concerned and worry for the time period.

I have a strong believe no foolish country will risk conquering another country that just made a revolution and just kicked a leader of their own and set him to trial, such a country is a place to be feared and in case of any interventions in a near future, lots of variables must be considered, measured and evaluated before even the will to make a move.

No wonder we are all afraid of the unknown future, no wonder we are all hoping for the best to come, a first time change for all the Egyptian people from 30 years of fears, lies, worries and directed media, I know it is hard to predict the future but for me and here I mean my poor self opinion, I am sure it will be a change for the better, I am sure people will wake up in the morning with hopes and dreams to follow and to fight for them o come true, this hope and dreaming capability is the real gain from this revolution and it will be the motor to the Egyptian public to begin a new era of freedom and liberation.

Sorry

2011-02-03T20:54:00.001+02:00

I am sorry that after 30 years of deceives and lies you still believe this guy!! am sorry that after all what is happening you still believe he will do something for our benefit!! as he knows us and knew exactly how to divide us by a speech, we know him and we know he never did anything for our benefit for years, stealing from this country and the only responsible for all this chaos we are facing refusing to leave, can you just tell me how do you see him as a previous president in our country, do you believe him saying so, it was never and will never be a truth, he will never be an ex-president, he won’t give any chance to be judged or prosecuted, he is planning for a reelection in the next period , if you don't believe me open the Egyptian TV and see the people and what they are saying, it is just a new play to gain time, using all what he really did of chaos, police absence and even hiring thugs and thieves.
What are you still waiting for, I really don't know, and the surprise is that you are fighting now the people who made this change possible, let them simply complete their role and mission, don't help the government fighting them, they don't deserve this from us, try to be at least neutral not negative, you won’t lose anything more than you already lost the last few days, this must end now or it will never end, and if you look to the bigger view, you will find he really didn't change anything, and he gave no guarantees to do these changes and he is the same guy that lied before for 30 years and he will do it again, I know you want peace in your present life.
I know you miss your personnel security, but the reality is that we were heading to this chaos and disorder and lake of security in a year or two because of the hunger, the prices and the violence we are all facing in our daily life, we have been suffering for years with no hope, but to suffer for a month is better than suffering for your lifetime, he can leave now and let the new government rule till the next elections, don't be afraid, and think of what will you say to your children when the history write about the current events.
Try to be a brave Egyptian for once in your life don't let the Egyptian media conquer your soul and keep you the same sheep they are used to deal with, it is time for all of us to at least have a lifetime stand and loose the fear and threads they are feeding us through years.

Please don’t fall to the play of the president and the government, don't believe the people who let the corruption fill our life, they are and will remain the same gang with different faces, they have never changed through 30 years and will never change, a bad seed never grows to a healthy plant, and corruption can never brings prosperity and goodness.

December Morning thoughts

2011-01-13T16:13:00.000+02:00

I have realized something very weird that kept looping in my thoughts for days, the most intimate person to me these days is my personnel computer, with whom I usually talk and write daily, with whom I usually save my memories as photos or videos, with whom I some time review some of my favourite stuff and music, with whom I keep all my personnel and professional documents and files, with whom I discover all the new worlds and places, with whom I read and read each day from news to literature to novels, with whom I connect with my old distant and close friends, it is a forced intimacy created by our need of technology to store, explore and connect.

It seems like old age is conquering my desire for life, I discovered by total chance that I had a stone in my left kidney for years, it makes me suffers some nights and it always remind me how old I became, and how am I supposed to preserve and protect my body if I need it to continue the rest of my journey.

No one can deny now how the weather has changed all over the world, here in Alexandria, the fog lasts all day long and sometimes all night long, in Europe the snow is covering every inch, in brief the weather isn’t as it use to be, every place on earth is experiencing a new weather each day, although it is exciting somehow, it reflects a dangerous phenomena affecting our planet, a change that may cause the end of this planet as we know it.

In a three days sick leave, what is better than reading my morning newspapers beside the singing voice of my three years old child, and the several attempts of the other 10 months old child to play with my laptop, although they are cute, funny and sometimes a source of joy, but I discovered through the day they never give me any space to make any activity or hobby, my full attention must be to them, my house became theirs and I sometimes go to a café just to read or write, I can only act freely with myself or with my wife at night when they are caged in their night sleep, but it never bothers me, it never affects how I adore them and how I love returning home to their noise and love, I really adore their persistence and forced love.

Few days to the end of 2010, a year full of events, but somehow it showed me its good face more than its bad one, somehow I learned how to appreciate the moments I spend with my small and big family, how to appreciate the peace and tranquillity, how to appreciate the laughter and the happy moments, how to overcome the sorrows and the sad moments, how to overcome the desperation that sometimes conquer our lives, the only thing I might remember from this year how I was blessed with Mahmoud in February, and how I turned a father of two boys after just three years of marriage.

Distorted sweet November

2010-11-29T17:10:00.001+02:00

An empty house without the kids or my wife, although sometimes it feels like heaven, it is a sad feeling for me these days when I feel this emptiness, unlike what I used to feel celebrating an empty house, it is weird and sad in the same time to come home to an empty silent house, a house with no life, no voices, no action, just a complete boring silence, finding yourself searching for ways to entertain yourself, damn I can’t believe what I’ve became, as if someone else is saying these words.
Weather has turned hot again the moment I thought it was the beginning of a cold winter, I can hardly stand my room without air condition, I really need for the weather to get colder, for the sky to get gray and cloudy and for the streets to be wet and clean, I can’t wait for a complete heavy winter full of everything.
When searching deep into my book of relationships the chapter of emotions and feelings, after paying a full respect to the parental emotions and feelings as the most important, inexplicable yet powerful emotion of all time, I realize that the relationship that really confuses me is a real friendship between two normal fellows, and its complicated emotions and feelings, how they are expressed and their powerful impact on the lives of the majority of people, a relationship that can easily detach from any benefit or profit, materialistic or non materialistic, friends can quickly get rid of the faking words, reactions and compliments, also the boring part of the acting process in any social encounter, they can easily undress all the facts around them and remain in a naked healthy relationship sometimes just after a short while.
After a funny but strange trip to Hurghada in which I enjoyed being engaged again to my wife, as we were in separate rooms the whole trip, enjoyed also the weather, the sea and the Hilton premises, a severe pain under my stomach attacked me in the last day, which lead me to discover an old 1.5cm stone in my left kidney totally by chance, a discovery that may cause me a great deal of pain in the future, but I can’t thank god enough for discovering it now and not later, cause without this pain I wouldn’t ever have done any scans to discover it.
Once again I saw the movie “Letters of the sea” for Daoud Abdel Sayed as it is presented on the cables these days, I adored the movie itself very much, I liked his choice in the music, I liked his choice for the cast, from the principle actor to the smallest one, although I hate “Basma” who is playing the main female character, I kind of liked her acting in this movie, I adore his choice for the place : my beloved Alexandria and mostly all the real scenes he shot in real winter with real rain and raged furious sea, also the beautiful old places he used in each scene, El Sheikh 3aly Bar, El Shatby Casino, El Tabakhein old Market, Stanley and Montazah, I liked his choice of this weird story and its little connected details all related somehow to my previous life in Alexandria, and maybe because it brings me to one of the magical relationships between a man and a woman, when they meet with no future, no hope, no expected feelings or love, just a desire after which they discover the reality of each other, a pure non profitable relationship that can turn to anything, from the love of your life to absolutely nothing, but a friendship that may last forever.
At last but not least I like his overall touch and his unique style, in each small forgotten word and with every little detail in each scene and how it is magically handled to offer you a sweet light movie, except for the end, which is usually his week point, I don’t know why but I think he always find it hard to reach people minds and hearts with what he really wants to say with his movie ends.
I can’t deny also my admiration of the young actor Ahmed Helmy, who jumped in the last ten years from a simple actor, doing medium parts in moderate movies to a super star with blockbuster movies, he is moving from a hit movie each year to the most successful movie for the last three or four years, a success that defines who he really is, not only a talented actor who can perform some comic parts but a true fine artist, who really knows how to show his brilliance in acting , performing and making movies, and who can also enter the hearts and minds of his audience with no effort at all.

The kind days of winter

2010-11-10T12:16:00.001+02:00

First day to wear something with long sleeves and a bit heavy, the weather became a bit chilly at night and unfortunately I only see the sun through my way to work in the morning and for the rest of the day I am in a big laboratory, away from any sun or sky, and when it is time to leave, usually it is dark outside, you may only see the stars.
The winter is entering the year like a shy bride, stepping slowly, one step forward and one step backward, the weather is magnificent , very moderate in the day and a bit chilly at night, had two days of vacation just to realize that.
I can’t get myself away from politics these days, lots of events and many new things are happening around us in Egypt these days; also a dear friend of mine is electing himself in the parliament, i am helping him as much as I can for the sake of the bravery act despite all my certainties and believes.
Something weird happens to me when reading the morning news papers in Egypt, of course when you read on line, it is a bit different, but I realized you can get satisfied by reading only one newspaper in Egypt, it will cover most or almost all the news, you are searching for, except if you like to read for a certain writer or thinker.
News are repeated boringly even with no clever comments or ideas, it may be a bad remarque, but any way it is my opinion.
When you get to one of our public transportation means or when you are forced to deal with any governmental institution, there is something that the eye of the beholder can’t miss, a new attitude took place in the people minds, a new behaviour conquered the heads and the thoughts of all Egyptians, a massive anger and fury, combined with hate and rejection, a negative power that is floating in the air, the continuous suffering has turned people into frustrated hot bombs, a rage of anger combined with a bitter taste, the taste of losing the hope in change, it made me think about how dangerous these mixtures could be and how dangerous these people have became, and the reality of our current situation and where are we heading in the near end.
I really can’t remember any more, was the media ever free? I can’t remember the last time I heard a free voice or a non profitable thought to help human kind, I can’t remember reading or viewing in any source of public media a free honest opinion or thought, these free opinions and thoughts could be bought but the things we find for the public aren’t free by any means, they are all forced and directed to illustrate a certain image, figure, state of mind and a whole culture in the end predesigned by all means of media to manipulate the eyes , ears and thoughts of people.
You can buy a certain book to a certain writer wishing he could give you a free non biased opinion about a certain dilemma or thought or peace of history, but the truth is much uglier than these simple thoughts, I realized you need to read thousands of books to put your hand on a simple reality or truth, trying hard to un reveal the covers made by the medias through time, and may be if you search and read hard enough, you may get to the truth or the answer you were seeking, for me am still searching, and all my results are bigger questions to be asked.
I think nothing regular or normal could change the culture and the behaviour of the Egyptian people, the destructive culture and behaviour they fought for years to gain, participate and apply in all the aspects of their lives, a big shake may be, a sudden fall, a natural disaster like a volcano or a huge earthquake, a destruction caused by a foreign or civil war, a major life changing event will be the only motto that can ever change the culture and behaviour of Egyptian, nothing less.

Thoughts of a hot Autumn

2010-10-19T10:54:00.000+02:00

Another hot week, the weather is still hot and we passed the middle of October, the temperature is far beyond what we expect, a kind of shift in seasons, and the winter became a very small event in the whole year, according to these changes, I must change my location to another cooler place in Alexandria, I really can’t stand the hot weather for long, it is the only condition, in which I lose my temper, temper as from temperature how weird is that coincidence.
For so long I have experienced different domains and new eras of work till I got to what I do these days, theoretically I love my job, and I like to help people in their daily work, I like to solve difficult network problems, errors and complications. I like to learn about new and different protocols of communication each day, I like to explore infinitely without any limits and this can’t be done in any other domain.
Also helping people and teach them little tricks to facilitate their daily work is an art and an enjoyment if you love what you do, a difficult unsolved problem became a joy when it is solved, a small lamp lighten in your head with each new idea or method or trick or lesson, a weird magical bond is created between you and any service seeker, you can play the role you like whether a service provider or a small teacher, who is here to help more than just doing his job.
I enjoy spending my time on line and experiencing new soft wares to see and experience its capabilities and compatibility, I do love my job and what I do, but I hate everything else, I hate the way the work is done, I hate the relationships between the people working, I hate people and love others and deal with others, but when it comes to a whole evaluation to this job and how it affects my life, I would say:” You can’t win it all, you must accept your loss as you accept your winnings.”
People around me are beginning to bounce from life and its daily punches, from the prices that are always going up never down, not in my life time, from the daily demands and the luxurious needs that became granted desires day after day, from turning each happy moment or enjoyment to a cash payment or a highly priced commodity or service, little daily enjoyments and fun are slowly stolen from us, they are replaced with another prospective forced on us.
Sometimes I look to the people around me and I see things kept in their eyes, I see how they think, how they suffer, how they are afraid of facing the truth, how they are afraid of each other, how they are afraid of saying what they really thought, how they are filled with worries and fears, may be that’s why I fail to judge anyone, cause from a certain point of view, he is a victim of a certain life circumstances and maybe he wouldn’t be such a thinner under other life conditions.
We are facing a very bad media and cultural campaign to hate our beloved country, to lose the hope in repairing the bad influence of the foreign cultures we are following these days, to lose the hope of rising our lost great culture in the heart and minds of our youth, our babies and even ourselves, to lose the hope in repairing its political, economical and cultural conditions.
Maybe we should hate what is happening in our daily routine, maybe we should hate the bad life conditions we are facing each minute, maybe we should hate the unfairness and the injustice we are facing in every entity or institution private or public, but it must be a constructive hate, a hate that emerge a power to make something better, to improve these horrible conditions we are facing, not a hate to dislike and leave the whole country or the only place on earth we still have dignity and pride despite any other claims.

July Distorted Hot Thoughts

2010-07-19T11:51:00.001+03:00

-The only fact or certainty that keeps popping in my head or in front of my eyes all the time is the Complete Chaos we are facing these days, people are upset and angry from any reason, the patience of the passed years is finally broken, people are rejecting and protesting any unfairness or brutality, people are returning to their normal condition again.
-It is never late to begin; it needs only one step ahead without looking back. Only one step when you feel desperate or when you loose hope, just take one last step, may be you arrived but didn’t notice, may be it just need you only one more step.
-How to talk for or about our nation, how to discuss solutions and constructive opinions about its future, how to freely express what you think or what you wish for your own country, how to describe what is happening to us these days, it is hard to talk freely and with no fears in such circumstances, no one knows how things will turn, or how you will be treated in the next phase we are facing.
-World cup 2010 such a surprisingly amusing tournament, full of goals, great winnings, great losses, and incredible unexpected match results and a non predictable champion this year Spain for the first time.
-Souls no one knows about them and no one will ever know, they will remain mystery till death or till your soul really leave your body, are they ignorant like our bodies or they know the whole truth about life, but may be they need the body just to remember, as they need the body to feed, read, listen and see.
-The soul who is always seeking for increasing the knowledge, the mind, the senses and the culture in general, totally the opposite of the body whose main search are for its basic needs, food, sex, comfort and laziness.
-Old friends, we meet on the street by chance, there is never enough time to chat and catch up news and it is hard to meet again in an arranged date with this stupid rush life we live, so we wait for another chance to meet again.
-It has been a long time since I went to a concert and enjoys it, Maamoun Elmeligui’s Concert last weekend was magical, or may be it was just what I needed, I enjoyed the Lyrics, the singing, the music, the place and even the weather, I also enjoyed very much the company of my sweet wife.
-My youngest brother is getting engaged this month, lots of contradictory feelings pops up in your heart, lots of memories and thoughts, many wishes of luck and success, but I am still not used to his fiancé around us, although she seams cute and nice it will take me sometime to do so.
-A morning with my kids and my brother’s kids, eating, playing, swimming is funnier and more exciting than any other going out I planned or will ever plan, these lovely happy few moments aren’t to be traded by any other thing in this stupid life.
-Three of my best friends ever are joining me in Alexandria from abroad this summer, they will arrive to Alex in different timings through July and August, I am feeling so excited and incredibly secured with out any known or logical reason.
-We are definitely growing old, even though we are trying to deny it, but 30% of our conversations these days are about common elder diseases and how and when they will hit us, it is when facts slap you on the face with the bare reality.

Chained Choices

2010-06-10T10:33:00.002+03:00

I have realized in the past few years some freaky facts I never thought they exist in our life; the most urging one of these facts to my thoughts right now is mainly about our real role in our predestined life, not the old contradiction between whether we have a choice in our destined life or it is imposed on us as it is without real choices. Here am only discussing how you see your choices and how they affect your life path.
How these choices really change the path or the direction of your life, I want to say the difference between what you once planed for your life and what you end up with. For me and may be only me, I feel I have nothing to do with what is really happening to me in this world.
Through life your role is only to make choices thinking of a certain goal or a precise aim in a big plan you wish for your life. The bare truth is that deep inside your heart you don’t really know whether what you chose for your life will make you eventually happy and satisfied or not. The best that you can do is praying to god to bless you with what is best for you despite your ignorant choices.
So instead of realizing what you planned for your life in the beginning, you find yourself following your destiny where ever it is, despite what you planned or aimed for, facing a new reality that really exist and is totally different in everything size, colour, taste and shape from the pinkie immature dream you once had, a more profound colourful reality in which the dream is combined with the responsibilities, duties and facts of the reality world.
Realizing after some time and after deep thinking, you never really knew what was the best for you, what you wished for yourself or what really was destined for you, when you lay back your head trying to compare what you wished and planned for and what really happened, you realize the difference between what you once knew and what you know now, the big difference in knowledge and experience, and you believe that an upper hand from the sky adjusted your choices and decisions in life to end up in such a wonderful way that you never imagined and surely wasn’t planned by yourself.
It is a logic beyond life itself, it is something you realize in the end of your experiences, your primary plans in life, your primary dreams and hopes and wishes are just based on your limited vision at that period, they were just a primary black and white sketch of what your really desire in life, and were presented in your imagination by some fragile elements that are replaced in your head through time and experience by the real elements that can really brought happiness to your heart.
So you end up with a big idea, that we lived our lives wishing for material things and praying for needs, doubts and fears, instead of praying to god for only what is better for us, instead of wishing for whatever that brought happiness and peace to our souls and hearts, it is deeply shallow to pray, wish or hope for something specific, even if it is money, the wisdom is to pray for happiness, health and peace ever after, pray for being able to love and be loved in return, pray not to hurt or abuse any living creature to gain a kind of forgiveness in the end of your life, pray for having the capability to always help people to earn all the help you need one day.
You only have to see the whole vision while praying, the humble totally ignorant normal person is praying or asking the almighty god who knows everything and everyone in little details, so in this case you need help more than precise things, you need his help to insight your vision, you need his help to choose what will end up better for you, you need his help to survive the bad life choices you made, you need his help to regain faith whenever it leaks from you, you need his help to always see the real limited size of your abilities and powers which will keep you helping the poor and needy persons, the needy person such as yourself.

Hot June Expectations

2010-06-03T10:35:00.001+03:00

It is a cool chilly weather even though we are in the beginning of June, the weather here is turning to Caribbean, the sky is almost grey all the time with a chilly wind, the sun doesn’t shine for days like before, it only shines from time to time.
What is really concerning me is that we experience the extreme weather, from a hot burning sun, and an unbearable temperature to a chilly wind with no sun and at night you need a jacket, I am sure we didn’t meet this weather in June ever before.
Any way it seams like a crazy month even before it starts, many holding hot issues and many hot events to come, I stopped for minutes to realize that it is hell of a month and I am really looking forward to see how it will end…..
First you will meet the unexpected reaction from the world toward the massacre committed by Israelis to the boats of freedom that were heading to Gazza, about 20 persons were murdered from different nationalities and it seams like Turkey is the only Nation that can stand for now to Israel, our Arab community and leaders as usual, they refused what happened and deny the terrorism over the innocents with no real action taken from any leader as if they had no victims in this massacre, as if they are only witnessing the bloody crime. The European nations reactions varies from rejection to denial to ignorance and there is no real will in the far horizon to take any future actions, reflecting their real fear from the United States and its primary ally, and in another prospective reflects also the real vision they have for human rights and the International Law force and how it is doubled sometimes.
Facing the terrible truth that Turkey which is the only Nation that stood even in words to Israel attacks, and demanded apologies even before the international trial and it is most unlikely that Turkey will use the military force toward Israel only for political reasons with the United States. So it leaves someone like me with a terrible thought that the only real forces that are standing in front of Israel these days are Iran and Turkey, which really means that all the other Arab nations who share the boarders are acting invisible for now, and I am sure how it will end by the end of this month with no action taken at all may be only words of apologies.
Another act will be seen this month is the national elections for the parliament members, a new act with an old story but may be a new scenario so it has no real excitement to be even watched as usual, and for me it will end as it started approximately adding few new faces to the old known faces with no real impact except unfairness on people like me.
The last event that may cheer people and keep them occupied and busy for a great while is the World Cup which will begin in mid June, another world cup without the Egyptian team, with no team except may be Argentina to cheer for, but I am sure we will see some real football, and some nice goals and few good matches before it ends.
My mind is like a big loaded red balloon, loaded of thoughts, worries, fears and wishes, I can’t deny my need for a real long vacation, I need to stay sometime by myself, I think I need to plan a fishing trip for two or three days, it always works for me, I need to be surrounded only by the fishing silence, may be for so long, this is what inspires me and give me back my peace with myself first and then with the whole world, it is a blessing to just feel it, to go back in time to your first basic emotions and feelings, how you were so peace with the universe around you, a great pleasure and sometime even an enjoyment, you just have to give it a bit of your time from while to while.

Lazy Evening Thoughts

2010-05-31T11:13:00.001+03:00

-A happy smiling baby is like an angel falling from the sky to cheer you up and to keep you always in a good mood.
-You are always misled by the people around you, although you know exactly how to differentiate between the right and the wrong, but it needs at least two to thin.
-The real difference between a normal person and a crazy one in the eyes of people, the normal person thinks before saying what he wants and the crazy one says what he wants without even thinking.
-A man is considered weird and alien, only if he doesn’t follow the community norms and habits even if he is a good citizen who mind his own business, he will be rejected.
-It is always very hard to see your actual self and size in the eyes of your surroundings, hard to see yourself as a wheel in the life machine and one of the smallest wheels, hard to realize how a small part of the whole existence you are and how you are considered a hero just in your life story not in others.
-Some people can barely smile, others can’t stop laughing and the majority can’t even cry, but happiness or sorrows are only seen in the eyes of the person.
-You are only remembered in life by the people you helped, by the people you were kind to, by the people you really touched or changed their lives, and at last by the people you care about and the people you loved, if you knew how to love, this is the only measurement tool used and nothing else.
-Blood related friends are blessings from the sky; they turn to be the most trustful friends through time, it is a relationship that needs a real vision from the start.
-It takes a lifetime to realize that you already got all what you really need in life and your lifetime endless pursuit of luxury is worthless in the end.
-When it comes to issues and problems related to men, women have approximately the same behaviour and attitude all over the world from the beginning of time.
-It is hard to find a regular, kind, and polite fellow these days, it is too rare to be true, goodness is treated as a disease in this cruel world, people try hardly to hide it inside.
-Teachers are slowly loosing their principles, manners and parental attitudes; teaching is no longer a sacred message that needs attention, care and love to be delivered, it became a profitable profession no more and no less.
-The real problem behind lake of awareness and realization among Egyptian population is a simple forgotten fact that 70 % of our populations are in none ending daily quest to fulfil their basic needs.
-It is impossible for people who don’t even satisfy their basic needs to search or even claim for democracy or human rights.
-It is wonderful to wish the people around you a good morning or a good day; it brings joy to your heart before it does to their hearts.
-Life always treat you kind because of a simple act of goodness and kindness, an old poor woman prayer, a gratitude look from an old man, an innocent laugh from a little child, some water to a starving animal, things you don’t count for, but in the end life treats you kind when you are kind to life.
-You are running after lots of goals in your life, supporting the family as you should, raise your kids as you wish, have some time for yourself and your life partner, eventually travelling the whole world and you even seek perfection in everything you aim for, but the reality in the end is: what really define who you are, are the simple choices you made through your life.

Facebook Era

2010-05-18T13:22:00.002+03:00

Facebook, what is it, why it is so popular and how to use it safely, it is a simple yet complicated way of communication between people, it was friendly using enough to attract lots of people from all over the world in a homogenous fabric. Through some simple steps, it allows people from same geographic areas to connect and share easily updates, news, files, media and even games in seconds. Also for me it was the only media tool and here I mean a tool powerful than email, that gave me the ability to connect with my school, university, work and ancient casual friends. These days it is getting more complicated in terms of use and applications, as it became more driven into the business world.
I think it is still simple when we talk about the desired ideology of use, if we just consider it as a simple way of communication with people, friends, co-workers and family members. Also it can be seen as a personnel web page for your news, photos and updates to let the people you can’t meet or see each day catch up with you.
From a certain point of view it eliminates lots of barriers, spaces and distances between people, it eliminates the time barrier between old relatives and friends and you find yourself connecting with people you met 15 and 20 years ago.
It helped most of its users to restore the old connection with lots of people, giving you the power to communicate with people in a very simple delicate way, gathering you with the people that share the same interests and the same hobbies and even in the same field of work.
Sometimes when I get these mad invitations to these mad groups or events or pages, a variety of different categories of interesting fields, I realize how big and vast it is.
Applications made by people with thousands of hobbies and interests, covering your cultural, economical, sports, news, gossip and even intellectual needs.
I think of it as a healthy way of communication in the first place and a good way of expressing your self, your social and professional image and resume, your recent activities and events, your inner feelings and even your secret desires while catching up with your interesting news in your favourite fields of life.
Away from the conspiracy theory, I have a certain reason to believe that facebook and Skype are well monitored and sometime controlled in a certain way by the government, despite this uncertain fact, it is very safe to use it just to express your social and cultural opinions, regarding to your political ones, the opinions that may be used to hurt you by some bad people.
So one of the main aspects that must be considered with great deal of attention is the security settings of your facebook account and the privacy settings for each and every used item or detail with each Facebook applications.
It is your way to adjust and control the data used, read, seen and listened to by your page traffic. It gives you the control on the public of what you announce, post or share on your facebook page.
As an ending point of this self evaluation of facebook, I think the benefits that return on us from the safe use of facebook in terms of knowledge; communication and fun are much much bigger than its disadvantages and cons, I can’t believe that there is still people who are afraid of beginning the use of such an application.

The chilly summer nights of May

2010-05-06T11:50:00.000+03:00

Summer invaded our land in only one night while we were sleeping, weather is so hot in the morning and a bit chilly at night with a familiar pacific essence, all the people around me are planning for vacations, Ramadan starts in the beginning of August and no one wants to miss the sun and the sea like last year, all the plans this year are mainly in June and July, for me my summer vacation is reduced to only 4 days from 6 to 10 August, I may spend these 4 days in Marsa Matrouh, I wish of course after god's will.
I enjoy the company of my 2 years old child over the company of most of my friends these days, and from several years I never felt I need to be alone like these days, I feel I need a long vacation alone with no talks or words, I need to listen to the silence for a while, I need to listen to the inner voices in me, I need to hear myself again.
I may choose one of my silent friends, if there is any, away from people, work and responsibilities may be in a north coastal village they are deserted these time of the year, a certain strange feeling is overwhelming my heart and soul, like an instinct or a need that wants to get out of me, like a desire to scream in a loud voice or may be just to feel free without any control or leach.
Sometimes you feel the world is a small place for you, as if you can’t breathe smoothly as if something is lying on your chest and you can’t get rid of it, something is desperately locked inside you, a need to shout, cry or fight to end these unexplained flow of emotions.
For more than a month now a crazy idea is popping into my head, a simple idea; How to make writing more like a career than a hobby? After many ideas and thoughts I realized, it takes much much more than the will, the talent and the desire combined together, it takes loads of continuous effort and continuous work, and may be lots of connections, to just begin as a simple writer in a newspaper or just a news reporter.
It takes ages to be a novel writer but we are damn sure deep inside our hearts a hit is a hit, a good story or a good article sells itself more than any publisher or distributor do. An original idea or story knows its way to the hearts and minds of people, so you must have something to fight with, something you can rely on, a powerful wall full of brilliantly new ideas, articles, stories and analysis to make you strong enough in this world.
May be, I am just saying may be it is too early for me to think about it, may be when my credit of respected articles increase and get known, may be am too young or too eager, but generally I adore writing about my feelings and thoughts, I like to composing articles about myself, my inner thoughts, my dreams and my social and political expectations, I like to analyze little details and little emotions arriving to a certain philosophy about life, living and human beings, a simple philosophy to push me in my life when I need a push and to be a helping guide to anyone who reads for me, I really love to make of it more like a career than a hobby but who knows may be one day I will be asked to do so with no efforts, may be my words will simply reach the right people and I would be one of the respected bold writers I adore.
I only wish and hope that the flame of my enthusiasm and spirit of writing never goes low and I keep and remain happy writing for myself and the people around me.

April morning thoughts

2010-04-22T12:10:00.003+02:00

*For the third time I am coming to a break point in my life, I must decide between two life choices, I must direct my life with a suitable decision in a few days, I have faith in god’s will and I pray for myself only for the best he sees in my path.
I know I can not decide by my own and that it is his will in the end but I try my best to be reasonable and rational in my decision and up to the levels and standards of ethics and morals he guided us with in order to just keep myself on the right track.
Suddenly from no where after a long period of recession you are blessed with two opportunities, it is usually like that either two tuff choices or nothing at all, and you are always stressed to choose and give a certain final opinion in the right time.
*Yahiya my two years old child always amaze me with unexpected things and attitudes, one of his things only appears at night when I arrive home and I face the energy and power he kept for me, asking me to play and talk with him, shooting with my name when I don’t answer and sometimes ordering me to play with him and to stay in his room, how he is still got such an energy after his long day in Nursery and then the club and after fighting his long fights all day long with his mother, how on earth does his battery works, does he ever need charge and suddenly he falls asleep while listening to any kind of slow music, he is like an angel and what bothers me is that sometimes I feel I don’t manage how to play with him indoor and how to get to his age and be a real play mate.
*A poor man is the one who can’t save third of his income, according to the latest classification worldwide, the person who spends all his income to just live is the most vulnerable and can fall into debts with the first crisis he faces so in terms of money even if you are living in a good standard and even if you are well paid and even if you think life is good it is never good unless you save 33.3 % of your income, I feel it is a bit weird but in the end I discovered I could be easily considered a poor man.
*I think the morning always defines the day and its mood, you even may face bad circumstances after a good morning and you don’t consider them bad, but usually a good morning equals a happy day, you may never know why will it be a happy morning, you may never know why would it be a happy day, you will never know the real cause of your happiness but you are sure deep deep inside you, you feel happy today.
The problem is when facing a blue day or a real bad one, when you wake up in the morning with a strange feeling, as if you are rejected from life, as if you are the center of the earth and you earn a share from any accident.
I think it has nothing to do with luck, it is a mood you ware without choosing, some people feel they need a cup of coffee to get out of it, others a heavy breakfast or a good shower but I think you can never escape your destiny.
*A smile is the most effective and powerful language used between people with different cultures, it is the magical stick that calms all the loud voices and the angry feelings and considered the perfect solutions to any misunderstanding or argument.
When facing a bad attitude or a bad reaction, person must guard his good principles, ethics and morals all the time, you must face the bad with the good in order to conquer it one day, because despite what people think when facing the bad with the bad it is a victory for the bad ethics after all.
*I enjoyed the Ahly/Zamalek match in the 16th of April 2010 more than ever, I enjoyed football more than anything and three goals from each team, even though the match ended with no winner or looser but people enjoyed each minute and each goal.
I enjoyed also the great match between “Inter Milan” and “Barcelona” in Champions League semi final, although its end came surprisingly unexpected with three goals to one for Inter Milan and although I cheer for Barcelona I enjoyed the football art and Inter Milan fighting spirit more than anything, may be our level of football is not so bad after all.

The sad end of winter

2010-04-11T16:34:00.012+02:00

Home beside my two-year-old child writing on my laptop while listening to Tom and Jerry music coming from the TV. Watching him paying such an attention to these two little creatures the mouse and the cat in their ultimate fight, a fight that cannot be resolved until eternity considering that the cat eats the mouse in reality to feed, not because it is evil and as a part of a big food chain that keeps the balance that ensure our survival.
Strange thoughts to be taught to little children, what they are doing make me wonder how we are doomed with this foreign high technology culture in cartoon and animation movies directed to our children minds. How we are captured by their thoughts from childhood age until adolescence and even to maturity sometimes, believing what they want us to believe, hearing only what they want us to hear and sometimes seeing only what they want us to see.
Despite the reality of these thoughts and ideas whether they are right or wrong, whether they are good or bad, whether they are racist or free, whether they are civilized or barbarian, their culture, believes, morals and ethics are different in shape, perspective and even in application with ours all the way long.
So it confuses me how the most important media tool that influences our children and youth is manipulated and controlled by another foreign culture and civilization.
While none of our dear producers and directors never have thought to create such a new cartoon character with original Egyptian origins. May be to overcome these American characters and to become one day the teacher and the raw model to our small children, a character that can express our good and peaceful thoughts, ideals and ethics.
Not these poor trials with low budgets we used to mark and laugh about, something serious, well made and directed mainly to children and youth minds.Something that can fulfil this gape and am sure it will earn its creator a big deal of money, according to its success, who knows may be one day I will do it.
It is a weird weather today, the sun is a bit shy, the sky isn’t clear, a strange fog is replacing the clouds we used to see, the sea is strangely calm and it is somehow windy and hot in the same time.
I have spend a weekend full of surprises, Thursday night, a funeral in Cairo was the main event, spend the night there with friends mainly on roads and hanging in the streets with no goal or aim, but it was a fun trip anyway.
A Friday with no family reunions, after a long drive to Alexandria, spend the rest of the day at home playing with my children.
On Saturday I went to “Zannili’s” a new Italian restaurant with my wife, my mother in law and my children, enjoyed a delicious meal and a wonderful view, we left in a hurry before making a scene with the usual crying voices of my children when sleep attacks them.
I then went to see my friends till midnight and came home early; at night while going to sleep I discovered that it was a surprisingly funny weekend after all.

Strangely growing old

2010-03-18T13:27:00.001+02:00

It is strange how I feel the change in me, it is strange when you feel it is not you who acts or talks, it is someone else’s manners, ethics and morals, it is strange when you discover you can always be the better person not the worst one, it is strange when you remember how you used to act and talk and how immature and naughty you have been for long periods of time without any regrets or self blame.
You meet someone surprised about your opinion, you find someone talking about how you became a different person, you begin to realize that something happened to you, you have really changed over years and it is obvious to the people who use to know you, even if you try to deny it or to neglect this fact, you will end up by facing yourself with the truth in the end, you have definitely changed in the outside and the inside, I became a bit fatter now and definitely my character also changed through years.
For being fat, it never bothered me and it will never do, unless when I have to hear with patience some caring comments from the people who care about me, comments like how this may affect my health in the future or like how I gained extra pounds after marriage, and that I must pay attention, in the past I used to hate these comments but now I just think how this person really cares about me to just advise me anyway, and I really appreciate this and it make me realize how I changed in shape.
The real dilemma was that I thought I never changed in character since I was in high school which is clearly not true at all, I used to think I am still this young fellow full of big dreams and high expectations and I used to act as if I am this fellow till now, but a simple coincidence or a common chance confront you with the bare truth, someone you used to know several years ago, someone you accidentally pass by, someone who was with you at college or in the university and haven’t seen you since, they chock you with how matured and responsible you became, how much have you changed since they last saw you.
It may be something good and of course it must be appreciated but really deep inside me it never brought happiness to my heart, I am afraid I wanted to be always the young reckless fellow who had his big dreams in life and his high hopes in the future to come, who was full of power and life even with all the mistakes and misjudgements he used to have, this crazy person who usually chocks the people around him with his actions and attitude, and of course not this young dad with his worries and fears and the tons of responsibilities he carries wherever he goes.
This was my real personality in the past, it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being a father, it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being married or responsible for a whole family but it means I am still not seeing the whole picture, I am still not realizing the beauty and enjoyment of this phase in my life which is completely different from the enjoyments and fun of another prior phase.
A proof of the immaturity I am still suffering from in my personality which makes me prefer the bold unstable naughty life I used to enjoy in my youth over the blessed stable complex life I am enjoying now, when you think about it, you find it logically clear, but in reality things are never measured with the same standards and feelings, because even your tools of measurement have changed over years………………..

The end of a broke February

2010-03-03T17:12:00.001+02:00

As usual every year, the month of February comes with its weird phenomena, before the middle of the month I am usually broke, although my Birthday is in the 7th of February, I am always left broke all the days left in the month, it is a phenomena cause I am not the only one affected here, usually lots of people experience the same thing, despite your way of handling your monthly expenses, it is usually a disaster in February, all the precautions fails and you end up somehow broke and waiting for the next salary or income.
Here in Egypt the commons call it “Fa2rayer” which mixes the Arabic name of February with poverty in a sarcastic way, as if it is the month of poverty and misfortune, but it is only a phenomena that could be spread as a roomer first and by time was believed by people.
For me I always liked the special mysterious February, one of my favourite months, and I have my reasons although they are personnel reasons, first it is the shortest and most unique month of the year, second it is usually cold and wet, third I was born in the 7th day of it, fourth it is somehow weird and funny in the same time and fifth I was blessed with Mahmoud in the third day of it.
The weather turned cold again in the end of the month after two weeks of hot weather, I feel like a fish that was dying from thirst and found water in the last minute, the rain is becoming rare day after day, despite the flows we hear about in Sinai and Upper Egypt, the rainy cities are suffering from the lake of rain water for the last four years.
I am more than alone these days, all my days are spent at work and sometimes I finish work at 10 pm which means I don’t see my children nor my wife and I end up staring to the roof alone in an empty bed in a silent empty house.
I am planning a short trip to Cairo in March, I think you can only enjoy this city in winter, I hope I can change my mood a little bit and I hope I can entertain my family in any way possible.
A strange sentence I heard or read in the past few days, the difference between an experienced woman and an experienced man in relation ships is exactly like the difference between a lock that can be opened by any key and a master key that can unlock any kind of Locks.

Quick Briefing

2010-02-15T10:51:00.000+02:00

It is Valentine’s Day; at work every body is dressed cool today, as if we are in a big festival, the streets full of flowers and the red colour is invading our lives for three days now, it is really a big announcement of love presented by all the people, may be we really miss the presence of feelings in our live.
I haven’t been myself for sometime now, for long time I’ve been holding things and usually it is not in my nature, I miss being calm and steady, I miss being rational and slow, I want to go back and enjoy life, not running after it event after event and day after day, the strange thing is am in the middle of two roads, two life choices and I am not giving it any thoughts, I feel like I am totally driven to a destiny I can’t change, although it is a dilemma in my head but the real truth for me, is that it will never be my choice to leave my home city and go search for a life else where.
The road I chose for my life, which is living in Alexandria, enjoying life between your friends and your beloved ones, what I have been doing all my life plus the dream of a world trip one day with my wife when life finally smiles for us, and the other road that life is choosing for me, an immigration to Canada to search for more opportunities to catch up with our mad increase in prices and life standards on one hand and the increase in the number of my family members in another hand.
No wonder I adore travelling, no wonder I adore discovering new places and knowing new people from all over the world, I always see travelling as contacting the true motion of life, I also see travelling the world as the big prize you may win some day after ending all your obligations and attachments, a journey you can spend your life time planning for, but it has nothing to do with living abroad, beginning a new life in a new place, searching for a new community to contact and get attached and a new beginning in everything, in your record in your relationships, in your colleges, in your friends, in your entourage as a whole.
One of the things I have been missing more than ever is the lake of my true old friends these days, most of them are living abroad and the rest are too busy to be seen, even though most of the time I am surrounded by casual friends but they never fulfil the place of one true friend when things go wrong, in the bad times and even when you are truly happy.
For years I considered my self the connecting channel between all these old friends, the only true thing that relate them to their past in Alexandria, the only person who is still connected to all the old gang, this is one of the biggest things I will loose by leaving, I will be one of the travellers around the world, one of the people who will live with no home feeling ever after.
A pregnant wife is somehow a field of mines, she doesn’t take any effort to just explode in the face of any one, I think the pregnancy period is one of the most difficult periods married couples experience in their whole life, it is when both sides are always feeling frustrated, under evaluated and misjudged by people and life, it is when they fight life through each other, but as we always say the will and the desire to build a happy successful life is much bigger and powerful than any obstacle you will face on your way, you only fail when you believe you have failed, continuing the fight is a kind of success any way, and for me even dying fighting for what you believe is a true honour.
After living about 30 years among people sometimes you feel you know some things or you earned some experience, other times you simply realize you can’t specify people at all, as if you know nothing about people, sometimes you find people that love for no reason and others that hate for no reason, and it takes some one like a famous Super Star to be loved and appreciated by all people in the same time and for no reason.

Mahmoud

2010-02-10T11:03:00.003+02:00

Last Wednesday on the 3rd of February 2010 I was blessed with Mahmoud, we were confused all his maternity on many names none of them were Mahmoud, but it was a dream like Yahiya, and he came as Mahmoud from his first minute, it is the end of a difficult period in our life but the beginning of loads and loads of responsibilities, may be because I am a man, I am still attached to Yahiya more, but who knows, they seam very different in shape but still who knows.
He is a tiny child, red most of the time, with dark black hair and brown eyes, he has a mice voice when he cries, but he sure has long legs and fingers, I try to see his eyes but it is hard to catch him with open eyes and when you do, he is always looking around trying not to fix his eyes on anything, he was kept in a nursery for two days, they passed like hell on us but thanks to god he is fine now.
All the time I am thinking about Yahiya, how it would affect his feelings, how it will be reflected in his behaviour, I wait for him to sleep to play with Mahmoud and enjoy his company, although I am spending most of my time with Yahiya, I feel sorry for him, even though I am beginning to feel unfair toward Mahmoud, ah it began, it seams like the dilemma of my life, I only hope It doest affect any other part of my life.
When I wake up at night and watch Mahmoud and Yahiya and their mother sleeping, I feel an inexplicable relief and happiness in the same time, I feel and realize I am blessed and may be I don’t thank god enough for his blessings, and just before closing my eyes to go back to sleep, I realize the size of the responsibility and the size of the part I draw for myself without even noticing and it always ends with me lying all my worries and fears on god’s mercy on us.
I wish I could be a good father, I wish I could give them all the love and care they deserve, to grow up as great good men and I wish when the time comes for me to be old they would look at me with love and care and remember the father I was.
I begin to realize more than ever how emotionally strong women are, how they change emotionally through the period of pregnancy and till they finish all the labour and nursery role, god gave them the possibility to evolve and change according to each phase and its demanding, they are viscous mothers when it needs, strong opponent sometimes, good friends most of the time and very feminine in the case of fear and love.
Day after day, despite my arguments, agreements and disagreements my respect to the female species is growing unwillingly, their part as a whole in our lives from childhood to manhood and even after marriage, grand mothers support is one of the greatest sacrifices I am beginning to realize in the last days, sometimes I can’t imagine life with out them, May god bless and keep them safe and sound for all of their children and beloved ones.

Year “20*10”

2010-01-28T11:29:00.001+02:00

Almost a month passed in 2010, it seams like a peaceful year so far but I guess it is a bit early to even guess, I can’t deny I am a bit pessimistic with this number, I like the even numbers and specially the 10, it always leave me with a peaceful feeling.
First time in my life I understand the true meaning of the phrase watch your back. I spend three days lying on my back because I didn’t watch for it carefully.
A bad sleeping position leads to a sever pain in the lower part of my back, I couldn’t stand still and it freaked me out but with three days of rest just lying in bed I am much better now, the doctor says it was only some humidity in the bones and of course I must loose some weight.
The only thing I enjoyed during this period was the phone calls of my friends and beloved one asking about my health and the all the long reads, all the newspapers, all the unfinished books I thought I will never have the time to read.
I realized while watching my library that I tend to read more to the people who enjoy life more than the people who see life as a hard serious freaking phase; this is only my own philosophy.
It seams like Egyptians are used to do their best only in desperate situations, when you think it is too late and you totally loose the hope.
The same doomed match is repeating again, I don’t have any worries about the match itself, I don’t have worries about how we will play, cause lately we have a respected team playing with one goal in mind, which was not the case for several years, I fear what will happen after this match again, and this time to the players themselves and not the shearing people.
When you are desperate of your life try to work harder, when you feel you are loosing try to fight harder, life always gives you what you want when you are least expecting it.
People differs from each other and differs from day to day and differs from one person to another, it all depends on how they see the rest of the human kind.
A human being is brought to this world asked to prove himself and to prove to the rest of the people around him how strong and reliable he is in an inexplicable way of live, a live full of flaws, unfairness and greed.
The strange thing nowadays is that if you really prove yourself in this mighty great greedy world it means in beneath you are one of these people and you differ no more at least in a way, cause I think the real aim of life was just how to live it, enjoy it and explore it without abusing others rights in any way possible.
If I have to state my thoughts about myself now, it would be a disaster, the sum of all these negative feelings I have in mind could drive people crazy, but in a way I know how to control my demons, I know how to win the battle with myself and come back fresher than ever to live this wonderful life we are blessed with.
How many persons among us can see this life as a blessing, how many will see it as the greater experience they had in life, how many will see it as an non stoppable adventure that will end with your death, how many loose this sight while dealing with their daily routine, and non endless obligations and debts to satisfy an endless desire of being safe.

You win some you loose some

2009-12-28T12:31:00.001+02:00

I know I shouldn’t open this subject, I know I will loose a lot by just telling my pure opinion but I can’t help it, this idea is urging in my head from long time, it has been jumping now and then especially with our modern life and our increasing need of luxury and excellence. The woman in our world, how she is seen, how she is treated and finally how she survive this pure manly life style, one of the things I thank god for since I was a little child is for me being a boy and not a girl, I always thought it is hard to be a girl, hard to be guided all your life, hard to be relying on someone all the way through your track, all your way through life, hard to be always the protected one, hard to feel like a trophy or a pleasure for someone else, hard to be always carried with care from someone.
Even in my hobbies, I always enjoyed exploring life and discovering new things and new places, and I think it would have been very hard on me to enjoy this life being a girl or a woman. It is almost rare to find a bunch of girls discovering alone a new place or a new cave or an old building except in movies, unless a boy is involved girls would never have interested in such things.
It also took me sometime to just correct my idea of right and wrong about women, about how they really should be seen and treated, not as we have been seeing and told in any way through our childhood to maturity, but a new way of seeing the woman I gained recently, a mixture between what should have been done and some pure self ideas and a bit of the moderate religious view.
You can never tell what the woman really wants, does she need to be always protected or does she prefer to be kept guideless free, does she enjoy the week role in the community or is she searching for a much powerful role in life, does she enjoys raising children or she prefers to succeed in her future career, what are her expectations from a man, how she sees the manly world around her, does she need only security or is she searching for a complete guardian, the surprise I got and chocked me a lot, is that no woman really knows exactly what she needs, but they all agree they need to feel all these tense contradictory emotions from one person.
Despite this dilemma faced by any man trying to live happily and make the people around him the same, woman are also unfair to themselves, they fight and fight day after day to win all the battles, to gain everything they think they earned, they are not realistic in any way, that’s why they never choose their lives, they fight continuously to gain in all fields and they loose something in the way, according to what they sacrificed they decide whether they will continue living happily or sadly for the rest of their lives.
A simple day in the woman’s life can clarify what I am trying to say exactly, she wakes up in the morning before everyone to prepare the breakfast and to wake the sleepy children and sometimes their father too, after running to finish all that and get dressed in seconds to be able to arrive to work in time, she begins a normal working day full of all the normal routine exhaustions, with a mind full of her family details, how they are doing, what will they eat today and finally how will she manage to get this late lunch done in time.
In her way home she tries to prepare her mother soul to take place again to loose the work stress and anger, to become caring and friendly again, trying to catch the small details of her beloved ones and to fulfil the missing daily gaps from the father, she then spend all her after noon very stressed in the late lunch process, and as always the last one to go relax, even if she managed to relax her body a bit her mind never relax, at night she is always concerned with the big family details and the urging issues before she begins again the dinner festival to finish her duties and get sometime to sleep, which is usually not enough because she will begin the whole process again the next day from the early morning.
Although some women enjoy such a busy life, although some woman prefer it to the normal mother role, they fight and fight to let it work and they get surprised when they found gapes and wholes between them and their children and most of the time with their husbands, she forget that in her daily run, she forgot to be a woman for her man, in her daily stress she forgot to be always the true loving and caring mother for her children, she simply forgets that she needs to choose from the beginning what will she sacrifice, cause no one can have everything from life, so it is better to choose what you really want from life, spending your life fighting over it instead of fighting and loosing what you didn’t need from the beginning.