Hedding Somewhere

A Few Favourite Moments

2012-05-25T06:30:00.000+01:00

Summer has finally come to Carlisle! I don't know how long it will last... maybe a week, maybe just a few days... but we're enjoying it while it's here! :)

To celebrate the warm weather, here are a few of my favourite moments from this week.

Hanging our laundry out to dry on the clothesline. Yeah, I'm a nerd... but there's just something so refreshing about clothes, sheets, and towels that have been line-dried.

I got my flip-flops out this week. Last year I waited and waited for the weather to get warmer and missed a lot of flip-flop weather. So I wasted no time this year.

Asher and I went for a walk. With such gorgeous weather, I took advantage of it, and we went for a walk... well, Asher took a nap in the buggy. :) One day, we visited some friends and spent an hour or so in their back garden.

Asher's new favourite game is "peek-a-boo." It's amazing that he never grows tired of it. It's so fun to watch his surprise every time we pull something back from his face and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

Leon and I had a date playing a friendly game of Scrabble. Neither of us won the game, but we enjoyed spending time together. It's so nice to have time with just the two of us even though we have a baby now!

What have been some of your favourite moments from the week?

Dealing with Homesickness

2012-05-22T13:47:00.000+01:00

Something strange happened the other day. Every Sunday, Leon and I listen to a sermon together online, sort of as 'extra food' for us. Usually, we listen to a sermon from our family of churches in Carlisle, my home church or our sending church. This last week we listened to a couple from our sending church. It was a good sermon, but I'm not going to talk about that. What really caught me off guard was the feeling of homesickness I felt after listening to that sermon.

Homesickness? Where in the world did that come from? I've lived in England for over a year and a half and have not really struggled with homesickness. Until now.

I could speculate why I'm experiencing it now. Maybe it's because my life has changed dramatically in the past 2 months. Maybe it's because we now have a baby, and I long to be around family so our son can grow up with his grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Maybe it's because my parents and in-laws have both come and gone in the past 2 months. I really don't know, but all of a sudden I had this wave of missing the US.

How do I deal with homesickness?

Maybe I haven't experienced it since moving to England because I've been intentional in trying to not to be homesick. I've learned a few things about preventing it since moving here as well as from when I was in college. There is, however, something about moving to a foreign country that trumps going away to college in terms of being homesick.

Keep busy.

I had to get involved in things right away. It really helped me to have things to look forward to every week. That could have been working at the church office, meeting ladies for coffee, bringing my husband lunch, or whatever other event that would come up. I found that if I didn't have something to look forward to, it was probably going to be a rough week!

Find a place that reminds you of home.

This was a tip that a friend of mine gave me a few months after moving to England. She told me that sometimes it helps if you can find a place that reminds you of home, like getting coffee at Starbucks or lunch at Subway. For me, it was grocery shopping at Aldi. :)

On a cycle ride to Longtown last summer

Find 'family.'

Honestly, it helps a lot that I'm married to Leon, who's lived in England longer than myself. He and Asher are my family now. At the same time, it's helpful to find a family we can be a part of. For example, it will be nice for Asher to have a 'substitute' granny, aunts, uncles, etc. when his real grandparents can't come visit (or we can't go visit them).

Thank God for Skype!

Modern technology has come a long way. Now we have the ability to see our friends and family back home on Skype video. It helped Leon and I as we grew our relationship early on, and it helps us now as we keep in touch with family and friends back home. My favourite part about Skype right now is introducing Asher to my friends and family by way of video (although it hasn't happened that often). I think my parents are glad they can watch Asher grow up through such an amazing technological invention. :)

Enjoy a cup of tea.

I have to say this since we live in England. There's just something about a cup of tea that makes my troubles seem to go away. And I can have my cup of tea while doing my next tip.

At Carlisle Cathedral

Look to God.

In reality, this should have been first on my list. As a Christian I should look to God in struggles such as homesickness. He will give me strength. It also helps to keep an eternal perspective—This earth isn't my home, and I'm longing for my home in heaven with Jesus.

So those are some things that I've found help me deal with homesickness while living in England. Have you struggled with homesickness? What have you done to deal with it?

What I Love: 2 Months Old!

2012-05-20T10:55:00.000+01:00

Dear Asher,

You're two months old today! It's hard to believe you have been a part of our lives for so long already. You're growing up so fast! The other day, you started holding your head up all by yourself.

What I love about you at two months old:

You're our happy little man. You smile all the time.
Our little "conversations" we have together.
You love to play peek-a-boo.
You are growing stronger every day. You can hold your head up on your own now!

Love that smile!

Don't grow up too fast, Asher. We want to enjoy every little bit of you! :)

Love,
Mummy xoxo

First Mummy-Son date!

2012-05-16T06:30:00.000+01:00

Leon went out to meet with a friend, so Asher and I had our first (of hopefully many) Mummy-Son date on Monday night! It was a short, very enjoyable time. Asher can carry on a conversation quite well already. :) Granted, all he speaks is 'coo' right now, but it was still very sweet.

'Sup, yo? :)

And then he spent the rest of the time sleeping, so Mummy had some much needed time to herself! Yeah!!

Love, from a Mother's Perspective

2012-05-15T09:28:00.001+01:00

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal." 1 Corinthians 13:1 (ESV)

These words are so familiar. I'm certain I studied them in Sunday School as a youth. I studied them as Leon and I prepared for marriage. Each time, the words of this famous chapter in the Bible gave me a different perspective on love and Jesus' love for us.

Now that I'm a mother, I find myself ~~conveniently~~ providentially studying those words again.

Spending time together on a Sunday afternoon

Becoming Asher's mum has reminded me of how selfish I can be. In the early days of figuring out life with a newborn, it was so easy to get annoyed and frustrated with Asher when he was hungry, tired, cranky, etc. at times that were inconvenient for me. Then I realised that with becoming a mother came the lesson in laying down my life. Being a mother, especially the mother of an almost-8-week-old, is a selfless job. I give, and Asher doesn't give back very much, if at all.

It kind of reminds me of my relationship with Jesus. He gave so much for me, and I don't give much back. He selflessly died on the cross for me. He loves me without condition. He is patient with me. I could go on.

"A sacrifice, staggering and true, for love of His very own. We learn love from His laid down." —Ann Voskamp; A Holy Experience

There's a blog post I stumbled across this weekend that sums up what I'm learning about being a mother beautifully. In it, the writer talks about how mother ducks selflessly use their best feathers from their own coat to line their nests. They don't use the leftover, dirty feathers laying around like I'm tempted to do at times. I need to give my best. Just like my Saviour gave His best for me.

Threave Gardens & Estate

2012-05-11T14:58:00.000+01:00

While Leon's parents were here, his dad wanted to visit some English gardens since he's a 'Master Gardener.' So we found ourselves at Threave Gardens and Estate on Wednesday! It was a perfect day to visit a garden. Its grounds are 1,600 acres, but it's not all gardens. In fact it used to be hunting grounds until the National Trust of Scotland took it over.

It doesn't compare to Kew Gardens in London, but Threave still reminded me a lot of Kew!

Threave Gardens

We got there just before lunch, so we had a brief walk around before eating. After lunch at the restaurant on the grounds, we went on a tour of the house. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before Asher got bored, and Leon and I had to leave the tour early. We enjoyed walking around the gardens, too. Maybe Asher is just a lover of the outdoors like his Mummy and Daddy! ;)

The Threave house

Enjoying a walk in the gardens

After one last stop in the restaurant to feed a hungry boy, we went home.

Full tummy, let's go home!

Dedicating Asher Samuel

2012-05-09T06:30:00.001+01:00

Leon and I had the privilege of dedicating our son Asher to the Lord on Sunday. For those of you who may not be familiar with baby dedication, it's a lot like infant baptism. We stated before the church that we are going to raise our son in a Godly way, and the people of the church are behind us to support us.

Asher's dedication (It was nice to have Leon's parents here for Asher's dedication!)

They also prayed for us as parents, for Asher, and for grandparents.

Praying

Cockermouth Georgian Fair

2012-05-08T06:30:00.000+01:00

On Saturday, we took a trip to Cockermouth. We had planned on seeing William Wordsworth's childhood home, but our plans changed quickly when we got there. There were plenty of other exciting events going on. It was the Cockermouth Georgian Fair! It was so fun to see people in period costume walking the streets. Plenty of dancing was going on, and there was a market, too. They even had a May pole (but we didn't get to see the dancing for that). After lunch at a pub, we enjoyed checking out all the sites.

We enjoyed watching the dancing, but I'm not certain we understood it all.

Morris Dancing... why?!?

I think Asher was a bit confused by the Morris dancing, too. :)

Cozy in the pram

Leon and I wished we could be out there for the English Country Dancing they had!

English Country Dancing!

And then there was the crazy comedy duo called Swash and Buckle we saw in the street. It was cheesy humour, but still got a good laugh out of most everyone. Their big act was catching a cannonball in the face, complete with a cannon and firecrackers.

Ready with the cannon

"Don't try this at home... if you have a cannon."

We are so glad we spent our time wandering the fair instead of going to the Wordsworth home! What fun!

Visit from Grandma and Grandpa

2012-05-07T08:41:00.001+01:00

We had some visitors come all the way from the US to meet Asher! He's a pretty popular guy. :) We've enjoyed having Grandma and Grandpa Hedding around this past week.

Meeting Grandma

Meeting Grandpa

Project Pinterest

2012-05-01T15:47:00.000+01:00

I don't think you have to be too into social media to know that Pinterest is all the rage these days. For those of you who don't know what it is, Pinterest is a virtual "pin board" where you can pin ideas for crafts, home, school, children, etc. It's addicting... a bit like Facebook. I've been "pinning" for almost a year now.

Image source: erix!

I have done a few different projects that I've found on Pinterest, but not many. I mostly use recipes. Maybe I should share my projects with you to keep me accountable. Less time "pinning" and more time doing the things I "pin" would be good! Maybe my goal at this point (keeping in mind that I have a newborn) would be one project a month. We shall see. Anyone want to join me?

Recipes seem to be the only thing I'm good at actually following through with, so I'll start my little "Project Pinterest" with a recipe I discovered.

One thing I miss about the US is flavoured coffee creamer. I've found coffee "whitener" while living in England, but I'm not daring enough to even touch it. Instead, I've learned to take my coffee with milk. It's alright, I suppose. I still miss my flavoured coffee creamer.

Image source: rore

So you may be able to imagine my delight when I found a recipe for homemade coffee creamer! I was a little sceptical of putting honey and vanilla in my coffee, but—surprise, surprise!—it's really good! Of course, I had to try it right after I finished making it. The only thing I'm not certain about is there are sort of floaties in the coffee after I put the creamer in. Maybe that's just because the creamer was still hot from being on the stove.

Ha! I made creamer! The website I found it on has several other recipes for homemade coffee creamer, too. Maybe I'll try my hand at the other flavours sometime!

Meeting Asher

2012-04-25T07:30:00.000+01:00

Asher is a popular guy already! We had an open house so friends from OM and church could come meet our little man.

Meeting the Wrights

Asher was happy to be held by so many people. What a trooper! :)

Meeting our friend, Ruth

Kirk will make a good grandpa someday, don't you think? :)

I think Asher made a few friends that day!

Asher's new friend

P.S. If you abbreviate "Meet Asher Samuel Hedding," it spells M.A.S.H. :)

Weekend Wander: Sunshine, Rain & BBQing

2012-04-23T14:53:00.001+01:00

Saturday brought some nice weather. I managed to get out to the city centre for some errands (by myself... yeah!), and we decided to BBQ since someone had given us a couple of chicken breasts and steaks. It was perfect weather for a barbecue.

And then, in true English fashion, it decided to rain.

That would be my husband... barbecuing under an umbrella.

On Sunday, we spent some time in the conservatory enjoying the warmth of the sunshine. Someone even got a nap!

Asher getting a Sunday afternoon snooze

What I Love: One Month Old!

2012-04-20T10:55:00.000+01:00

Dear Asher,

Wow, how time flies! You're one month old today! We've had quite the adventure since you were born.

Cuddles with Mum after a bath :)

What I love about you at one month old:

You're a great eater! You love your food and sometimes eat your entire bottle in less than 15 minutes!
You have a sweet smile that you seem to save just for Mum.
You give great cuddles!
Your cheeky personality that comes out more each day.

Daddy and I are looking forward to more adventures with you!

Love,
Mummy xoxo

Feeding struggles

2012-04-18T12:45:00.001+01:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, our struggles continued after Asher was discharged from the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU). It's incredible, really, to look back now and see how God has worked in everything we've been through in the last month.

The whole reason Asher was in SCBU in the first place was because he was dehydrated and jaundiced. The dehydration was caused by an insufficiency in my breast milk supply. After working with a midwife who specialises in breastfeeding, it was decided that my low milk supply was due to all the trauma and blood loss I suffered as a result of Asher's birth. It was a difficult discovery to make.

Finally able to feed my own son!

Since coming home from hospital the 2nd time, I had been breastfeeding Asher. Then I would use a breast pump to get the rest of the milk off while someone else (Leon or one of my parents) would feed Asher with a bottle of formula. This was exhausting work when it had to be done every 3 hours (yes, even through the night)!! The hardest part was when I discovered that all of that hard work to increase my milk supply wasn't really paying off, even with the medication I was on.

This was becoming a lesson in humility. I really had my heart set on breastfeeding my baby. Through many (many, MANY) tears, long nights, and prayers, I decided to stop breastfeeding. I know it really isn't that big of a decision to make, but as the postnatal, emotional wreck that I was, it was difficult to let go. It has been what's best for Asher and myself. I wasn't enjoying my baby while I was persisting with this. More importantly, I didn't want my desire to breastfeed to become an idol, replacing God in my life.

Interestingly before I made the decision to bottle feed, God put peace in my heart. I knew that I'd be okay however this turned out. With God's help, I was at peace with my decision to strictly bottle feed.

A smile for Mummy!

And everyone is much happier now. :)

Part 4: My Amazing Husband

2012-04-07T22:16:00.001+01:00

I need to take the time to share with you how amazing and incredible my husband has been with all we've been through in the last almost 3 weeks.

Do Leon and Asher have the same expression on their faces?

He was incredibly supportive and helpful while I was in labour and giving birth to Asher.

When things began to go pear-shaped, he kept his head on his shoulders.

After being up since 2:30am, he went home from hospital on the day Asher was born and cleaned up the remaining mess in our house... including the massive task of draining the birthing pool!

He was strong even though it was difficult to see me having such a rough time with my injuries and blood transfusion. I know it couldn't have been easy for him.

He arranged lifts to and from hospital when we needed them.

He made certain that we had food when we got home.

He stayed past visiting hours to support me while I was having my blood transfusion.

He has taken care of Asher when I was physically too tired.

He was once again strong when we had to spend the night in Special Care.

He was incredibly supportive of me while I was struggling with breastfeeding.

He got up during the middle of the night to give Asher his bottles after I breastfed.

He kept our house running before my parents could get here to help.

I could go on. I may be a bit biased, but I think I married an amazing man! :)

Part 3: A Night in Special Care

2012-04-06T14:27:00.000+01:00

Want to freak an emotional, hormonal, postnatal mum out? Tell her that her son has lost 15% of his birth weight and that she should take him in to hospital again and be prepared to spend the night.

On the Sunday after Asher was born, the community midwife came to check-up on us. She checked me and then asked all kinds of questions about how Asher was doing, and based on those questions it seemed he was doing well. Until she weighed him... that was the 'proof in the pudding' that he really wasn't doing well. Asher had lost 15% of his birth weight. Of course, it was because of something with the way he was feeding. The midwife immediately phoned the maternity ward at the hospital to arrange for us to come in.

The midwife left our home; my parents arrived from the US 10 minutes later. They were greeted with somewhat of a "Hello, how are you? Meet your grandson!" and then a "We have to go back to hospital. Want to come along?" I can't imagine what a shock that was for them... It was for me, as I was in tears by then.

Thankfully, I'd been there the day before with another health question regarding Asher... so I got to see the same midwife. She did a good job calming me down and sorting us out.

However, once we arrived we were soon whisked away by a paediatrician to the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU; kind of the equivalent of the NICU in America). WHAT?!? Really? Was my baby's condition that serious? Evidently. I learned that the amount of blood loss I suffered from Asher's birth caused a delay and insufficiency in my milk supply. Thus, Asher was dehydrated and losing weight.

At this point I was pretty emotional. My little boy was getting pricked to get bloods drawn. He was being checked for his jaundice levels and dehydration. I was also told that I'd have to breastfeed him, top him up with formula and express what little milk I had left. It was rather overwhelming. I spent a lot of time crying... either on Leon's shoulder or my mum's. Was I doing something wrong to cause all of this? Of course not, but it sure felt like it at the time.

Getting good sleep on a full tummy at last

We were then told that Asher would have to spend the night. Cue the postnatal tears again. They have a couple of hotel-type rooms in SCBU for parents to stay in while their baby is under the nurses' care. Thankfully, they let us keep Asher in the room with us. We spent the night getting up every three hours to breastfeed, top up and express. It was a long night especially since I was already knackered from an emotional day.

That day, I was ever-so-thankful for some friends of ours who came to visit us. They were in Carlisle for the week and came to visit us at hospital when they heard we were there again. It was so nice to chat with them about all that had gone on so far with Asher and myself. They helped us process through things a bit more than we already had done. Plus it was just nice to have good friends' shoulders to cry on.

The next morning, things looked brighter with a little more sleep. Asher was getting some good feeds in, having dirty nappies and back to his normal happy and contented self. My mum and dad came back to spend some time with us before we got discharged. The nurse in charge of us wanted to weigh Asher and check his bloods again before we were discharged so we had to wait until the late afternoon to go home.

Getting a bottle from Grandpa while still in hospital

Praise the Lord, Asher had gained some weight in the time we were there! He he had also gotten rehydrated, and his jaundice levels went down, too. It was nice to know that we wouldn't be spending another day in hospital and could go home at last!

I wish I could say that this is the end of the story... but it's not entirely. I went on to struggle with breastfeeding for a week or so after we were discharged from hospital. But that is a post I'll have to write on a later date.

Through all of this struggle, I'm thankful that God is good. I'm thankful I had a beautiful home delivery and we have a healthy, happy baby boy. Our sweet Asher is definitely living up to the meaning of his name!

Part 2: And then Things went Pear-Shaped

2012-03-31T08:53:00.001+01:00

In England, they have this phrase that they use to describe situations that go horribly wrong... 'pear-shaped.' After a beautiful home birth without the use of medicine for pain relief, I didn't expect what was coming next. Things definitely went pear-shaped.

The midwives had thought that I had torn a bit while delivering Asher so they got me out of the pool quickly to examine me. I thought it wasn't that big of a deal... they would just stitch me up and move on. That changed as soon as I realised how much blood I was losing. (Sorry if you're squeamish!)

Oh, was there a lot of blood.

I was ever so glad that the student midwife whom I'd seen many times before could attend the birth. For one, it was her first home birth to attend. Two, it was a blessing to have an extra pair of hands in the moments shortly after.

One of the midwives thought quickly (and quite creatively) and had me get up on the dining room table to examine the damage done. Remember how I mentioned having an unmedicated birth? Well, that changed afterwards. I had to use the gas and air to get through the pain of that examination.

To my disappointment, the damage done was too extensive to stitch up at home. To top it off, I was also losing a lot of blood. I wasn't pleased, but the midwives made the decision to call an ambulance and send me to hospital.

On Asher's first day of life, he got his first ambulance ride! I was so pleased he got to ride with me even though I couldn't hold him.

Once I arrived at the hospital, I was whisked away to the labour ward where I would learn that I had torn badly enough to be sent to the surgical theatre to be stitched up. It was so bad that I had to have a spinal, rather than a local anaesthetic, to repair all the damage.

Cuddles with mummy before going into theatre for surgery

At that point I freaked out, not because of having to go into theatre, but because I hadn't had much cuddle time with my baby yet. I'm so thankful the consultant working with me let us have some family time!

After a little over an hour in theatre, I was in recovery. I actually don't remember much after that point. That evening, I do remember having a rough time once Leon had to leave. It was hard and very emotional to not be able to care for my own baby due to the spinal and my injuries. I found it humbling (to say the least) to have to call for a midwife every time Asher needed to be fed or a nappy needed changing.

Cuddles and kisses from Daddy

On Wednesday, I had help with getting up and around. I was still quite sore and weak... a lot more so than I expected. I learned that I lost over a litre of blood, which left me anaemic. Once I discovered this, I was advised to have a blood transfusion. At that point, all hopes of going home that day were shattered, and I completely lost it. I knew that staying overnight again would be best, but all I wanted to do was go home.

Once it was time for the transfusion to take place, everything that had happened up until this point began to hit me. Overwhelmed and ~~slightly~~ incredibly hormonal, I broke down into tears—What had just happened to me in the last 48 hours or so? I had a lovely home birth and a beautiful baby boy, and now I'm in hospital with who-knows-how-many stitches needing a blood transfusion.

I received two units of blood, and I was feeling 10 times better the following day (Thursday). Granted, I still felt weak due to the anaemia, but I was up and about before they finally discharged us that afternoon.

We finally got to go home!!

Finally home again! For now...

Or so we thought... (To be continued...)

Part 1: Asher's Birth Day

2012-03-29T21:26:00.000+01:00

In case you've missed the big news in the Hedding family, there is a new addition! Our son Asher was born on Tuesday last week. He came into the world in such a beautiful way, and I thought I'd share that story with you now that I have some energy to do so. The whole experience ~~has been~~ is still quite a roller coaster ride, but God is good through it all.

Only a couple hours old

Monday was just another day. I have to admit, I was expecting Asher to arrive that weekend. So when Monday rolled around, I was disappointed that 'D-day' hadn't happened yet. By the evening, I was starting to feel rather achy. I had to have Leon put bread in our bread machine because I was too uncomfortable to stand and do it myself. An early bedtime was definitely in order, so I took my microwave heating pad and settled myself to sleep.

At 2:30 Tuesday morning, my waters broke. I wasn't certain it had happened at first so I decided to wait a bit before waking Leon. Sure enough, it was and I was soon on the phone with the labour ward at hospital to see about calling the midwife out to our home. Even though I was booked for a home birth, they asked me to come in to confirm that my waters had broken because I hadn't had any contractions yet. Of course, as soon as I got off the phone, contractions started... so I made another phone call to the labour ward to see if I really needed to come in. It was my choice, and I was asked to start timing my contractions.

My contractions came on in full force at first. As we were timing them, we discovered they lasted about a minute and came about a minute apart. After a third call to the labour ward, they decided to contact the midwife to come out to our home. It was time to put the TENS machine on and get ready to set up the pool!

By the time the midwife arrived around 3:30, my contractions had settled down a bit, although they were definitely still regular. I was definitely in active labour, and the midwife said I was already about 4 centimetres dilated. Wow, that was fast. At this point, that birthing pool couldn't be set up fast enough since my contractions were getting stronger and the TENS machine was becoming less effective.

The pool was filled within half an hour... but that half an hour passed slowly when my current means of pain relief wasn't working well any more.

The remaining time up to the birth is a bit of a blur. It certainly wasn't easy, but the warm water in the pool helped.

Days before Asher's arrival, I put together a play list of worship songs to listen to while in labour. I was amazed how the songs I chose seemed to encourage me right when I needed them. Leon and I also spent a lot of time in prayer in between contractions. I'm pretty certain the midwives thought I was crazy when they heard me praying in tongues at times.

After pushing for quite some time, our sweet baby was delivered into the water with one gigantic push. It was a BOY!! After Asher was born, we got some sweet cuddle time. I really couldn't have asked for a more perfect way to bring our son into the world.

Sweet family time

After those first moments together, things started to get really exciting...

(To be continued...)

Remembering His Wonderous Works

2012-03-16T16:36:00.000Z

At the beginning of this year, I chose one word to strive toward as my goal for 2012—intentional. I thought I'd write a little about how I'm doing with being more intentional this year.

It hasn't been easy to be intentional. As an introvert, for example, it's hard to be intentional in my relationships because it means putting myself out there in a way that may not be comfortable. Thankfully I realise these things take time, and there's always grace from God when I fail to meet my goal of being intentional.

Now that I'm nearing the end of pregnancy, it's becoming even more of a challenge to be intentional. I know that may sound strange, but it's true. Most days, my thoughts focus on one word: BABY. In some ways, that's fine, but it can become unhealthy. My thoughts have the tendency to become so focused on baby and the end of this pregnancy that I forget my goal of being intentional. More specifically, I tend to forget the important relationships that surround me. And, in my self-pity, I tend to forget the amazing things that God has done.

"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old." Psalm 77:11 (ESV)

Enter God's perfect timing.

I've been going through a Bible study in the book of Psalms the last couple of months. Last week I studied Psalm 77. At first I thought that this would be a good psalm for someone who is depressed or for me if I should find myself suffering from postnatal depression after I have the baby. I had tucked it away on the shelf for just such an occasion until one morning when I realised that, duh, this passage was for me... right now. Ouch, that hurt.

And I said, “This is my anguish;
But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
I will remember the works of the Lord;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
I will also meditate on all Your work,
And talk of Your deeds.
Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;
Who is so great a God as our God?
You are the God who does wonders;
You have declared Your strength among the peoples. Psalm 77:10-14 (NKJV)

It hurt to realise that I've been neglecting to remember God's goodness and faithfulness in my struggles. It also hurt to realise that, yes, I have even neglected certain relationships in my life... relationships that I truly value. It takes being intentional to build those relationships, and honestly "because I'm too tired from being pregnant" is not an excuse. It may just take some extra effort and grace from God.

"I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds." Psalm 77:12 (ESV)

This week it's been a bit 'easier' to be intentional because people have been contacting me. I've had the opportunity to have friends around for a cup of tea (I'm not getting out much these days), and have been invited around to see friends if I'm feeling up for it, too.

In these last few days before "Little Bump" arrives, I've been finding it hard to wait for baby, yet enjoy the last few days with just my husband. We have spent most of our nights and weekends together intentionally doing things that we won't be able to do once the baby comes. As much as I want to hold this little one in my arms, I've realised I need to place a priority on my marriage.

So the lesson I've been learning lately is... to remember what God has done even in the trying times. He has blessed me with a marriage I wouldn't trade for the world. He has blessed us with these few remaining days before becoming parents. He has blessed me with friends who care. He has blessed me with this little life growing inside. And He blesses me with a brand new day every day.

So how about you? How are you doing with your goals/resolutions for this year?

Weekend Wander: Twenty-Nine!

2012-03-07T15:10:00.000Z

Last Saturday brought the celebration of my 29th birthday. It was a rather laid back day, thankfully. I wasn't feeling too chipper, unfortunately. The aches and pains of the 9th month of pregnancy have set in, and my little rice heating pad was my friend on Saturday.

Yummy chocolate cake with chocolate ganache and whipped cream lettering!

Nonetheless, I had a good day. We both really enjoyed having a relaxing day together, something that won't be happening too often in the near future. Leon was quite the servant and made me a delicious chocolate cake and dinner!

Leon made such a lovely cake. I think the letters impressed me the most. :)

He also gave me a clothes line for my birthday (sorry, no photos of it yet... I'm waiting for it to be hung)! Leon gave it to me in instalments (first screws, then hooks, etc.) so it would take me all day to figure out what in the world he was giving me. I was rather excited when I figured out it was a clothes line! I know, I know. I'm getting excited about a clothes line. I had been asking for one for awhile though. It's the simple things, right? :)

For some reason 29 feels so much older than I imagine 30 to be. Maybe that's because I'm nearing the arrival of "Little Bump"? Not much longer now!!

Long-Distance Family

2012-02-28T12:28:00.000Z

Since our little family is about to grow soon, I've been thinking a lot about our own families lately. In getting married I've learned that each family has its own culture. Living so far away from our families in the US, our family will have an even more different culture, both in the figurative and literal sense. Building relationships with our families back in the US will require more creativity than what either of us may have experienced when we were growing up. Also, raising our children as Americans in the British culture will bring it's own set of challenges, which is a post topic for another day. For now I'll touch on the topic of building relationships from a distance.

Leon's family when we visited last autumn.

Growing up, my family spent a lot of time with our extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles...). Keeping that relationship with them strong seemed to be a priority, especially on my dad's side of the family. It's great, because we still have those relationships today for the most part. It's something that would be nice to continue in our own little family, but living abroad kind of makes it more of a challenge. It sort of reminds me of when Leon and I were dating. We had to get pretty creative at times to come up with our dates we'd have over Skype.

My family while we were in the US last autumn

We'll have to get creative in the way we interact with our family in the US, too. I know that things will be different for us with our children—most of our time spent with family already is over the phone, email, or Skype video. It will be a challenge to help our children connect with their extended family. Modern technology is great, but it only goes so far. So we strive to do what we can. For example, I'm certain that once "Little Bump" arrives, a number of our family members will get Skype video calls so they can 'meet' our little one. I should also be more intentional in taking photos so that our family back in the US can see our new life as a family of three.

I'm certain there are other ideas, some of which I've found via Focus on the Family. The article I read probably assumes that most families are only dealing with distances across the US, but some of their ideas will work for us once "Little Bump" is old enough. I'm certain there are ideas for when baby is smaller, too (I just can't find the source right now).

So this is an interesting challenge that we're facing. We both value our families, and it would be amazing if our children can be connected to them in some way.

Do you live far away from your family? What are ways you've remained connected to them? Are there things that worked/didn't work?

I sincerely apologise for the lack of posts lately. I think that the third trimester of pregnancy has gotten the better of me! In fact, just as a warning, I will probably drop off the blogosphere for awhile once "Little Bump" arrives. I don't want to leave you faithful readers hanging, so I thought it best to say something! Thank you all for faithfully following our journey here, and I hope that you will continue for months to come! :)

Waiting and Preparing for Baby

2012-02-18T11:32:00.000Z

You can probably imagine what the frequent topic of conversation is in our house these days. Yup, you guessed it—'Little Bump.' It doesn't come as a surprise that it's the topic of conversation. It's understandable since having a baby will be a big life change for Leon and me.

We're faced with a lot of decisions... Hospital, birthing centre, or home birth? What kind of pain relief? Cloth or disposable nappies? Where will the baby sleep? What schedule will we work toward using? Breast feeding or bottle feeding? And there's even... What colour do we paint the nursery?

'Little Bump's' nursery... still a work in progress

Not to mention all the parental wisdom we've been given that we now have to sort through.

I'm now 36 weeks pregnant, and have 26 days until my official due date. But who's counting? This week, more than ever I've realised I'm done with being pregnant. I love to feel baby moving about... but I'm ready to be done.

Or am I? I also realised last weekend how precious the time is that Leon and I have together. We won't have that kind of time with 'just the two of us' for much longer. I've realised that I need to be more content with where God has us right now, cherishing the last few moments before our life rockets into a new season in life.

As anxious as I am to meet our 'Little Bump,' I don't want to rush these last few weeks. I was encouraged by a blog I just 'happened' to stumble upon yesterday. The writer talked about cherishing what we have now even though we're ready to be done because we can't have them back. She also compared it to longing for our home in Heaven. She wrote,

"Motherhood is full of these moments. The wanting to hurry through the challenging parts yet attempting to embrace each ounce of joy. Savoring each stage yet exhausted and ready for the next. Feeling the pressure to soak it in. To not wish it away.
Isn’t this also life?
Things never stay the same. Life is all about movement. Moving from one stage to the next. Growing. Looking toward the future. Yet longing for memories of the past." –God Centered Mom

I'm discovering that waiting for our baby's arrival is a bit like the time leading up to our wedding. We had a sweet ache to move on to the next season of life while trying to enjoy the season we were in. I need to find joy in where I am now while eagerly waiting for what the future holds.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Timothy 6:6

Is there something that you're eagerly waiting for right now? Are you enjoying those "last days" or wishing them to fly by quickly?

Weekend Wander: Visit to the Highlands

2012-02-15T19:41:00.000Z

Leon and I took a weekend away to the Scottish Highlands! We wanted to have one last getaway before 'Little Bump' arrives in a month. We certainly enjoyed ourselves, and it was nice to have something to distract us from all things 'baby' for a couple of days.

Yup, we love each other. :)

We stayed at a quaint little B&B in a village called Tyndrum. It was surrounded by beautiful lochs, valleys and snow-covered mountains. We wished we could go walking on those mountains, but since I'm nearly 36 weeks pregnant, that wasn't going to happen. We did get to do some exploring by car though! Our first day there it was quite foggy, but I've discovered that the highlands are beautiful even in the fog.

I wish I knew the names of all these mountains. I'm not very good at remembering things like that!

We stopped at a number of car parks just so I could take photos

Our second day there, the clouds were not as low so we could see more of the beauty of God's creation that surrounded us. We went for a drive along the coast of Loch Linnhe and Loch Crean. It was a lovely drive. We stopped in a harbour village called Oban where we climbed up to McCraig Tower (by suggestion of our host at the B&B) to get a view of the village. It was a beautiful sight!

Oban, Scotland. I think that's the Irish Sea beyond the harbour.

McCraig Tower

On Monday it was time to head back to Carlisle. After having one last breakfast by the fireplace at the B&B, we began our journey home. Leon decided to take different route home that would take us by Loch Lomond. Some of you may know the song that is associated with this loch. It was kind of fun to see it and think of the song at the same time. Even though it was cold and windy there, it was a nice place to visit and drive along for a fair bit of our journey home.

Loch Lomond... It was pretty hard for me to not sing the song while we were there.

Now that we're home, we're in the homestretch of waiting for 'Little Bump' to arrive! Only a few more short weeks! It was so nice to get away before the 'two of us' becomes three. (In fact, I would highly recommend it for any couple who are expecting their first baby!)

Baby Shower!

2012-02-09T08:00:00.000Z

Last weekend, the OM ladies had a baby shower for "Little Bump" and myself! It was a lot of fun to spend time with these ladies and play goofy baby shower games in the process.

Some gifts waiting to be unwrapped

We spent a lot of time just chatting.

Chatting away...

More friends chatting away

Time to measure how big "Little Bump" has gotten (Who incidentally isn't so little any more)!

Apparently, someone said something really funny!

Then it was time to open gifts!

Lots of exciting things for "Little Bump!"

Another fun game! I'd never played this one before.

We had to guess all the words for 'baby' in different languages

After all the fun and games, some of the ladies offered their own motherhood advice. They also prayed for Leon and myself as we become parents. What a blessing all these lovely ladies are! :)

And now we're even closer to our sweet baby's arrival!! So exciting!

(A special thanks to my friend Ruth for being the photographer for the evening!!)

Psalm 4: Faith in the Transition

2012-02-07T15:55:00.000Z

Transitions are all around. It's a part of life. Some of life's transitions can be overwhelming. I look back at some of the transitions I've been through in my life and can see how God was the only One who could have gotten me through that tough transition.

One kind of transition: switching Underground trains in London (It's a pretty simple one!)

I'm going through another transition in life right now as I'm preparing for motherhood, and as Leon and I are preparing for parenthood together. Our little one has yet to grace us with his/her presence, but the preparation and getting my mind around motherhood is overwhelming. This being our first baby, there are a lot of unknowns in this transition.

I don't do so well with unknowns. I'm prone to worry. I've learned and been constantly reminded that I need God's strength to trust in Him while I wait out this transition. I've found myself crying out to God a lot lately.

In Psalm 4, God promises that He'll hear us when we cry out to Him.

But know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself;
the LORD hears when I call to him. Psalm 4:3 (ESV)

It's also encouraging to know that God will give us rest and peace when we cry out to Him.

In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8 (ESV)

I'm really thankful that transitions in life remind us of our need to desperately run to Him!