Hedonistics Anonymous

中國歡迎你 Part Deux

2009-11-01T20:45:00.010-07:00

In China, I...

punched my boss.
had a posh nightclub mami force girl after girl on me.
replaced my Vitamin C with Panadol.
actually wanted to go to church to pray for salvation.
discovered a large pizza from Pizza Hut cost nearly RM70.
found happiness eating RMB1 gong jai meen on short plastic stools by the roadside.
unknowingly stayed in a love hotel.

Welcome to the Nanyang Seascape hotel in Zhu Hai, located 5 minutes away from the Zhu Hai - Macau border. It's the epitome of China... huge, garish Oriental designs, oversized Mak Datin furniture, and THREE different sets of tea cups on the table, all thoughtfully arranged for your comfort and (ahem) pleasure.

Pleasure maximizers for both men and ladies WITHOUT the hassle of a third party nine months later.

Located in the bathroom, just in case.

中國歡迎你

2009-10-25T18:16:00.007-07:00

I'm blogging from Hui Hua International Hotel in Changping, more than an hour's drive from Shenzhen Airport. It's a very, very nice hotel.

My room is seriously big. It's even bigger than my boss' room.

The only difference is that he's got the swimming pool view (read: poolside Baywatch), while I see buildings when I look out of the window.

Not that I'm complaining, really. :)

Each day is different

2009-10-22T21:29:00.007-07:00

Some days I would be busybusybusy till midnight. Other days I would be lounging from morning at Travillion, awaiting orders from the boss who treats every place like an airport. Arrive. Sit down to refuel. Take off. He's got 10 people wanting his attention all at one go. He's got 10 projects to tackle at one go. He's got another 10 more projects waiting in the wings. I've more or less employed Anthony Bourdain's early morning management method. Before I sleep, I do a mental rundown of things to do tomorrow. When I wake up, I repeat the whole thing. By the time I leave the house, I've pretty much got all my ducks sitting in a row.

However, the ducks are pretty capable of changing into chickens or geese once I get to the office. Hence the title, each day is different.

I collected my visa this morning, got my sis to change a whole bunch of currencies for me (I have no idea why China, HK and Macau cannot just stick to one standard currency dammit), and I have some banking stuff to do tomorrow before flying off at night.

Ahh busybusybusy.

When the going gets rough...

2009-07-12T08:29:00.008-07:00

...the tough slips into ignore mode.

Bcause that's the most painless way to deal with unpleasantries in life. At least for me it is. Face it, it takes two to argue. So you rant, I keep quiet. You yell, I keep quiet. You stomp off, I'm not there anymore. Yes, I'm still sitting there but I'm not.

Sarcastic as I am, I seldom snap back in a real argument. I automatically slip into ignore mode. I'm not a fighter. I don't like to fight. Not because I can't. To me, it's a bloody waste of time and energy. The times I DO snap back, I usually end up getting frustrated at myself because I have very high regard for emotional self-control. That's why angry people scare me. Emo people scare me. I can't deal with crying people. I don't like people to touch me. I had a friend who found it funny to sneak up behind me and smack my butt while I was talking to another friend. Guess what, I elbowed her. Oh rather, I nearly did, but luckily I managed to stop mere centimetres from her face when I saw who it was. That's the kind of reflex action I have.

Was chatting with the cousin on Facebook just now and our conversation went something like this:

Me: I'm still not really sure how to deal with uncalled-for anger.

Her: Hahaha me too.

Me: So do you do the "ok calm down, let's talk things through" shit?

Her: I just don't say anything. Let's talk things through sounds too patronizing.

Me: Or do you just say "DUDE GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER NOW!!!!"

Me: Frankly, I don't think anybody wants to calm down when they're angry. They just want to rant and yell at you until they're satisfied. Then apologize after that.

Her: LOL that's just about right.

A feast for the senses

2009-06-14T23:09:00.003-07:00

Watched Visitor Q over the weekend.

Haven't watched this kind of movie in ages - weird fetish sexual crap that Japs seem to excel at. Visitor Q's about this stranger who entered the lives of this really really screwed up family. He screws them up even more to the point of total chaos just to make them realize the importance of being a family. It has nearly every sort of disturbing scenarios - incest, senseless violence, drugs, murder, scat, lactation, necrophilia etc.

Sometimes I think I'm too old for this kind of stuff, but then again, I diligently scour the Net for movies that would shock me senseless. It's not the porn factor, I don't even like that stuff. I'm a voyeur of human depravity in every manner. I want to know how low can a person go. In a bid to shock me some time back, a good friend sent me a link to "2 girls 1 cup", which, for those uninitiated, involves two girls shitting and puking into a cup and consuming the contents.

In a bid to pay it forward, I sent another friend this link: http://kidsinsandbox.net/

Hehe.

Back in Miri, I used to watch bizarre movies on a regular basis until one of my housemates actually told his brother to lock the kitchen knives up in case I decide to murder them one by one in their sleep. Right. They should talk. They're the ones who sit around in their undies, littering every square inch of the floor surrounding the sofa set with beer cans and bottles, and watching disturbingly violent Jap porn... those potential rapists.

The Great Couple Meme with added salt and spices

2009-06-10T23:12:00.004-07:00

Ripped from the demanding bitch herself. Good luck with getting your Vera Wang wedding dress.

P/S: I do not claim all answers to be true.

1. Tell us about the first time you met and your first impression of him/her:-

At Foody Goody kopitiam. We were both on our best behaviour. He didn't smoke. I didn't utter a single obscenity. He thought I was simple and undemanding. I thought he was extremely calm and unsarcastic. Few months down the road, he's getting migraines from my obsession with branded bags and my fragile ego has been ripped to shreds from sarcasm overload.

2. What’s a weird habit or quirk that s/he has?:-

He only goes for haircuts on rainy days.

3. What makes him/her happy?:-

Haircuts. Rainy days. Liverpool winning. Playing Championship Manager on the PC. Money. Seeing me happy.

4. What makes him/her sad?:-

Lack of money. Not seeing me for a few days. Seeing me sad.

5. What makes him/her angry?:-

Hot weather. Backstabbers. People who repeatedly make the same mistakes.

6. What excites him/her?:-

Big football matches. Going on trips with me.

7. Tell us something funny about him/her:-

The first time he received an sms from "Angie" inviting him to go for drinks, I threw a tantrum because I don't like my man to go drinking with unknown chicks.

Then I found out that Angie was short for Angelo, his best friend, who's a guy.

8. What’s s/he like at home?:-

Asleep. This guy is a sleepaholic.

9. What’s s/he like at work/school?:-

Apart from a sleepaholic, this guy is a workaholic with the best work ethics I've seen. He churns out twice the daily quota of reports compared to his other colleagues. He works 7 days a weeks. Tomorrow's work will be done today.

10. Describe his/her room:-

Quite spacious. Has a tv cabinet and a full sofa set. There's a computer table (with a computer on it of course) and a small stand tucked against the wall with a raggedy bible opened to Psalms I think. Mother Mary is looking down at you from the wall. The only thing missing is the bed.

11. What’s his/her best friend like?:-

Skinny. Big eyes. Pockmarked face. Reasonably good conversationalist.

12. Do you know who s/he hates the most?:-

Backstabbers.

13. Have you met his/her exes?:-

Seen pictures only. But I'm not worried.. I'm way cuter.

14. Do his/her parents like you?:-

Not after his mother asked me, "Wahhh, my son also got people want arh..?" and I quickly retorted, "Don't get me wrong honey, I'm just in for the money."

15. What’s the first thing s/he would do or say if s/he fell down and scraped their knee:-

He'll just ROAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

16. What would s/he do in an emergency situation with other people involved?:-

Light up a cigarette and complain about the lack of airconditioning.

17. Which shop would s/he spend the most time at in a shopping mall?:-

PC shop, electrical goods shop, FOS, sports shop. Supermarket if he has to do grocery shopping.

18. What would s/he have for a typical breakfast?:-

Rice. Pau. Rice. Kaya toast. Rice. Fried sausages. All washed down with a tall glass of kopi peng.

19. Where would s/he want to go for dinner?:-

Any place that serves rice and allows smoking.

20. what kind of movie would s/he choose at the cinema?:-

Movies that involves fast cars, gambling and James Bond.

21. Describe his/her taste in music:-

Very mainstream. Basically overplayed stuff you hear on the radio. Oh, and Laura Pausini.

22. If s/he wasnt going out with you, who would s/he be going out with?:-

Angie.

23. What item in his/her wardrobe would you like to burn:-

Anything with holes in them. And his gold Barcelona football jersey. He doesn't know it, but I hate that color. It's very unflattering. He's going to kill me when he reads this.

24. What is s/he good at?:-

Ordering people around ala taiko. Being stubborn and sarcastic. Sleeping. Buying me icecream and chocolates when I'm depressed.

25. What is s/he totally horrible at?:-

Being romantic. I tell him, "B, say something nice to me!"

His reply: "Something nice."

26. What’s something about him/her that is annoying/infuriating?:-

If you think that I'm mean and sarcastic, you haven't experienced Mr B's level of sarcasm. He makes Simon Cowell look like a prim Catholic schoolgirl.

27. What’s something that you two fundamentally disagree on?:-

a) Japanese food is good.

b) Buffets are good.

c) Sweet cha kueh is yummy (I hate it).

c) The amount of bags a girl needs.

d) How to discipline kids - I'm into corporal punishment, he believes in reasoning out.

28. What’s something that you two agree whole-heartedly on?:-

a) Liverpool FC

b) Our wedding rings are going to cost less than RM500 for both.

c) Honeymoon at Anfield.

29. Is s/he possessive?:-

Not really. I'm more possessive than him.

30. Why would s/he succeed in life?:-

Because he's got work ethics of a Sherpa and noone would dare to go against him when he's angry.

31. What is the coolest gift that s/he has ever given you?:-

Seiko watch and a KK trip.

32. What is s/he obsessed with?:-

Football, money and making me happy.

33. What does s/he avoid at all costs?:-

Heat is his mortal enemy.

34. What does s/he spend the most money on?:-

a) Food

b) Clothes

c) Me

35. Describe his/her typical Sunday:-

Wake up. Pee. Shower. Go back to sleep.

36. Why would s/he be dangerous?:-

Because he is so big and when he's angry, the expression he has on his face is enough to make you pee in your pants.

37. Tell us about a time s/he looked absolutely gorgeous:-

Well, he's kinda cute when he pretends to be mad at me, but I don't know it. I would be pulling on his shirt repetitively saying in small voice, "sowie sowie.." and he'll be ignoring me.

Then when I've more or less given up, he'll look at me, stick his tongue out and grin.

Very exasperating.

38. What’s something about him/her that would surprise all of his/her friends?:-

Despite his cranky bulldog demeanour, B can very very affectionate and manja. He's even more touchy feely than I am.

39. What do you love most about him/her?:-

When he buys me chocolate without me having to ask for it.

40. The biggest lesson you have learnt from loving your partner:-

a) Patience is a virtue.

b) Silence is golden.

c) Never interrupt him when he's working or having a nap, unless I'm seriously starving.

Christians vs one born-again atheist.

2009-06-05T09:26:00.005-07:00

**WARNING: This post contains religious elements that may or may not (but most likely may) be considered offensive. Don't read if you're the holy schmoly type. Don't. If you're the stubborn sort that enjoys defying orders, then consider yourself duly warned.

Attended MK's mother's funeral this morning.

Seemed like it was only last week when I visited her at the hospital... and despite being weak and all, she could still talk and laugh and give praise to the Lord.

Which really got me thinking, if I were to die of some incurable illness, I would feel EXTREMELY cheated by God. I'm referring to cases like a non-smoker dying of lung cancer, or a non-drinker dying of liver failure. I mean, if that happened to me, I would be so pissed. Really. They say God is merciful... but if he played cruel jokes like this, would He still be considered merciful?

Christians have so much faith in life after death. I don't know, I'm in no position to tell them otherwise because I'm very much entombed in logic. Like the whole evolution vs creationism theory... sorry, I just can't buy the whole Adam and Eve thing. It reads like a fairy tale to me. And the whole concept of life after death, heaven and hell, is just too whimsical. I find it easier to believe that when you die, basically you fail to exist anymore. Or rather, to put it delicately, you become part of the earth. And your soul? Where does it go? Nowhere. It dies with your body.

My parents, the new Christians, are forever trying to re-evangelize me. They find it difficult to tell their church friends that their eldest daughter has reverted back to her worldly (haha), atheistic ways and horror of horrors!.. has stopped even trying to believe in God. We had this conversation over dinner one night.

Dad: Why have you stopped going to church?

Me: Why are you asking me this now? You know I have not stepped into church for the past, what, 2 or 3 years already.

Dad: But what is the main reason you have stopped going to church? Are you afraid of God?

Me: No. I'm just not interested.

Dad: But there HAS to be a reason.

Me: Fine. I find the whole Christian thing too boring for my taste.

Dad: Ahhhhh... so you don't understand the teachings?

Me: I do... I just find it boring. And church people are just so... pushy. They're forever trying to evangelize you. And you have to put on this fake happy face in front of them because they all always look so damn happy. Like they're high on something. It's scary.

Dad: So it's not the teachings, it's the people right?

Mum: Why don't you try attending some other church?

Me: It's not a matter of switching church! I'M JUST NOT INTERESTED OK.

Dad: You should give it a try. Don't give up before you even try.

Me: Why don't you ask me to try some other religion?

Dad: Well, obviously we can't do that.

Me: Yes you can. Try it. Talk to me like a normal human being and not some holy roller. Say to me, you're my daughter and I love you no matter what religion you choose because I just want you to be happy. SAY IT.

Dad: I'll be happy if you start going to church.

Me: I'm sorry dude, that's not the right answer.

Sis: *trying to be diplomatic* Maybe it's not the right time for her to make this decision.

Dad: You're right. Her time will come one day.

Me: Excuse me, I'm still in this conversation. If you guys are going to start talking about me in third person context, then I'll take my dinner to the living room thankyouverymuch.

Stupid is as stupid does

2009-06-02T07:36:00.007-07:00

Use ISA Against Chin Peng's Supporters - Association

KUALA LUMPUR, June 1 (Bernama) -- The Ex- Servicemen's Association has called on the government to use the Internal Security Act (ISA) against anyone, including politicians, who proposed or supported a move to allow former communist leader Chin Peng to return to Malaysia.

Its president, Datuk Muhammad Abdul Ghani, also described such quarters as communists for attempting to bring in the communist ideology into the country.

He hoped the government would take stern action against any politician or those attemptiong to bring Chin Peng into the country.

"If possible, use the ISA. We do not want the communist ideology to grow in Malaysia," he told a press conference here Monday.

He said in a peace treaty and the dissolution of the Communist Party of Malaya in December 1989, the communist insurgents had agreed to stay in southern Thailand.

"If they want to return to this country, they will have to comply to the law and undergo a rehabilitation process.

"However, we, as ex-servicemen, will feel insulted if they were allowed to return as Malaysian nationals," said Muhammad, who also urged the government to review the pension paid to retired soldiers who sustained permanent disability in the war against the communists.

Meanwhile, ex-serviceman Corporal Muhammad Sham Harun who lost his sight in an operation against the communist insurgents in Perak in 1975, does not harbour any love lost for the communists.

"If I ever see him (Chin Peng) again, I will dig his eyes out so he can feel what I feel.

"There must be something that makes him want to come back, or even spread the communist ideology. If he is allowed to return, then our sacrifices are futile," the 55-year-old told a press conference.

Mohamad Sham retired from the army in 1994 and currently receives a RM429 monthly pension.

For Rosli Adnan who lost his legs during the war with the communists in Grik, Perak, in 1978, Chin Peng's return would cause misery to many ex-servicemen and their families.

"It's better he stays out of the country. His return will hurt our feelings," said the 50-year-old who receives a monthly pension of RM274.

-- BERNAMA

HAIHHHHHHHHHH EVERYTHING ALSO MUST USE ISA. DO THIS ALSO ISA. DO THAT ALSO ISA. I THINK I WRITE THIS POST ALSO CAN KENA ISA.

THESE PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW WTF IS ISA AND THEY SIMPLY SAY ARREST PEOPLE UNDER ISA.

BODOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I FOR ONE DO NOT CARE IF CHIN PENG COMES BACK TO MALAYSIA. YEAH SURE HE USED TO BE A COMMUNIST LEADER, BUT THAT WAS IN THE PAST. NOW HE'S JUST A SAD OLD MAN. IF MALAYSIANS WANT TO BE SO CALCULATIVE, WHY DON'T WE BAN THE JAPS FROM COMING TO MALAYSIA? AFTER ALL, THEY FUCKED US UP ROYALLY IN THE 2ND WORLD WAR. DON'T EAT SUSHI.. DON'T EAT SASHIMI... LET'S ALL BURN HELLO KITTY! AND THOSE STUPID AH LIANS WHO CAMWHORE WHILE DOING KAWAII POSES SHOULD HAVE THEIR EYES DUG OUT, HANDS CHOPPED OFF AND SENT TO KAMUNTING UNDER ISA TO BLEED TO DEATH!!!

OR LET'S GO FURTHER BACK IN HISTORY AND SCREW THE BRITISH FOR RULING OUR COUNTRY! LET'S SHIT ON THE UNION JACK AND BAN IMPORTS OF BRITISH PRODUCTS! DESTROY YOUR BURBERRY BAGS, PEOPLE! SET FIRE ON MARK & SPENCERS, TOPSHOP AND DOROTHY PERKINS! IF NOT, YOU WILL BE CAPTURED UNDER ISA AND PUT AWAY FOR 100 YEARS!!!!

AND! I HAVE NOT TOUCHED ON THE DUTCH AND PORTUGUESE YET!

Now you see how ridiculous this whole issue is? Members of the Ex- Servicemen's Association should just go fucking hang themselves for talking through their asses.

This is where I stand

2009-05-14T20:01:00.002-07:00

When shit hits the fan, I instantly build defensive walls so thick and so tall that even I have trouble climbing out myself.

Thing is, I'm beginning to like it in here. The peace and tranquility helps temper the discontentment somewhat.

So yes, you got what you want from me at a price. Like a favourite person of mine commented recently, it's better to be cynically paranoid than naively stupid. Better to purge all toxicity from my life now than let it sink in and become permanent. Also, I don't like looking into the eyes of snakes.

Another clueless person I'm fleeing from is just as I described... permanently clueless. I don't doubt that we all have our own episodes of cluelessness, but this person is such a daily blur sotong, it's a permanent case of open-mouth-enter-foot, to the point where the words that come out start taking on a spiteful, malicious tone.

I am an extremely non-confrontational person. I WILL apologize and overlook alot of matters just to ensure peace. Until I have to confront someone, it's usually a big freakin deal to me. And it doesn't help that I'm slightly on the paranoid side these days haha.

I want pho like NOW!

2009-05-06T21:14:00.004-07:00

Let's take a break from the hustle and bustle of exhausting juvenile dramaramas and focus on helping me find Vietnamese food in Kuching.

You know that I'm pretty desperate already because I didn't even bother to put "good" between "find" and "Vietnamese". It has come to the point where any semblance of Vietnamese food would do. I'm willing to settle for 60% authenticity okay... sad right?

The reason behind this madness is Melbourne. See right, in Melbourne there are tons of Vietnamese restaurants serving extremely delicious authentic Vietnamese cuisines. While in Melb, I had the fortune to try really good pho bo (beef noodle soup) at Preston Market.

It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking good. "Hor fun" with beef slices and fresh basil floating in a huge bowl of sweet, salty, slightly tangy beef broth. You squeeze a wedge of lemon into the soup and topped with fresh crunchy breansprouts and the first mouthful is mouthgasm at its finest and most intense. It's like going away and coming back all at once. Crazy and comforting. And definitely the stuff desperate food cravings were made off.

Now I'm left with a pho-craving the size of Africa and no solution for it.

Help? Anyone?

Birthday cupcakes

2009-04-27T04:59:00.004-07:00

Guess what I got from my beloved cousin for my birthday?

HAM:SAP CUPCAKES!

My grandmother said that this is a wo niu.

Then I asked her, "If this a wo niu, where are the antennas?"

She answered, "Gor leong chee yeh, mm chee tit chor hei pin si hor?"

Head over to her blog to read all about it. You'll be amazed at her unsound creativity.

THANK YOU CUPPYCAKES!!!!

one day

2009-04-24T08:05:00.004-07:00

you might just wake up

pick up the phone

dial my number

only to have the operator telling you

that the number you dialled is no longer in service

because i've truly upped and left

one day

it might just happen

Now to make me happy...

2009-04-19T08:15:00.003-07:00

12 more days to my birthday!!!!

My wishlist:

~~Cornelia Funke's Inkheart trilogy~~

Gifted by colleagues - slenz, mami jarum and miss wong. Thank you!

Dinner at Sheraton Four Points

COMPULSORY Japanese buffet

Let's do this one after the Lundu trip. You guys know who you are :)

Long wallet

With tons of credit card slots and exterior coin compartment.

Clutch

At least 12 inches long, solid make, and can hold both my camera and my handphone.

While composing the wishlist, I typed "bag" down thrice and erased it thrice because I know I have too many, but then again how can one have too many bags?

Lazy (too much so)

2009-04-15T00:01:00.004-07:00

The title sums my life up at the mo.

All I want to do is play online games - hunt freakin mice and conquer virtual villages.

That, and the constant stop.rewind.play of the memory of your lips nuzzled against the back of my neck at 4-something a.m in the freezing, ultra-sexy hotel room nearly a week ago.

Excuse me folks, the mice are calling.

Pick pack

2009-04-06T23:39:00.002-07:00

When it comes to packing a suitcase, most people pack their clothes first.

Not me.

I start from chargers - for my Nokia and Sony E phones, my Nintendo DS and my camera.

Then I pack my universal power adapter. This is a MUST. You have no idea how it feels like to be stuck in a dingy hotel in Hadyai with a charger and a rapidly dying phone in your hands, but you can't do anything because apparently the hotel's electrical socket is only meant for the flat-legged two-pin plug. Also the adapter doubles up nicely as an extra socket.

Then I move on toiletries - shampoo (I never use hotel shampoo), body wash (I refuse to use bar soap), facial cleanser, toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, tweezers, razor, moisturiser, and nail clipper. For some reason, my nails tend to chip when I'm traveling, so either I trim my nails really short before I leave, or I lug a nail clipper along.

I need my books. At least 3. I read too bloody fast. Right now I'm halfway through the "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood".

Oooh, I almost forgot medication. Simple stuff - Panadol, diarrhea pills, band-aids, oral rehydration salts. But this round I'm not bringing any... maybe just my Redoxon soluble vitamin C tablets.

Only then I pack my clothes.

I'm off to KK tomorrow... wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!! :)

KNNCCB x10000000000000

2009-03-27T04:11:00.003-07:00

I.AM.SO.FREAKIN.MAD.

I'm suppose to be a happy gurl today because later I'll be going to Islamic Cafe for tandoori chicken and cheese naan and I'm also happy because I know that in my fridge I've got the bestest, YUMMIEST lor mai kai (glutinouse rice and chicken wrapped in lotus leaf) that my aunts from S'pore brought back.

I tell you, the lor mai kai is to die for. So freakin yummy can die on the spot writhing from foodgasm. Must be the salted egg yolk they put inside.

Just now when I got home I raided the fridge and I was cussing and and on the verge of hysteria because WHERE THE FUCKING HELL IS MY LOR MAI KAI WHERE WHERE WHERE??!?!?!

Then when my mother came home, she told me she passed it to her friend to steam it for her lunch tomorrow.

WHAT THE FLYINGGGGGGGGGGGGG FUCK OK... ALL 3 OF MY PRECIOUS LOR MAI KAI IS GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I told my mum that she's horribly evil person. And she just said, "No more already, what to do?" and walked off.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Down dog

2009-03-22T23:58:00.004-07:00

Bobby came down with a bout of food poisoning last week because whenever we off-leash him to do his business, that silly boy would sneak off to the neighbour's house to eat whatever scraps of food being left out for the strays. No matter how much I scream or whack him, he'll still do it, given the chance.

Dumb dog.

I wouldn't care so much if he did not suffer any ill effects from his disgusting snacking habits, but he DID and we had to make two trips to the vet which cost me RM72 for shots, antibiotics and appetite stimulants because Bobby's throat was infected and swollen and he couldn't eat.

If RM72 could cure him on the spot, that money would have been well-spent but nooooooooo... I had to deal with his appetite loss and everyday brought forth the horrible game of Let's Guess What His Royal Highness Would Eat.

He wouldn't eat his raw meat.

He wouldn't eat his kibble. Even kibble soaked in liver soup.

He wouldn't eat bread.

He wouldn't eat yogurt wtf. I tell you, all the yogurt in my fridge is for the dogs. Don't anybody touch them yo.

The only thing he would eat is thoroughly cooked chicken liver and raw eggs.

It was like living with a ultra-finicky lapdog (Iwene, now I know how you fking feel!). Throughout the ordeal, Brandy became the official food disposal unit, often finishing Bobby's food after her own. And I know Bobby's food poisoning didn't come from consuming raw meat because Brandy was fine and dandy all along.

Anywayyyyyyyy Bobby is okay now. Brandy is... fatter now. And I'm poorer now. Boohoo.

P/S: It just occured to me that it would take 14 visits to the doctor for me to rack up a RM72 bill on the old AIA co-payment plan. Thank goodness for company-provided medical insurance.

Ultimate football betrayal

2009-03-18T21:01:00.006-07:00

When a certain very femes Kuching blogger recently announced that he has switched from being a Chelsea supporter to a MU supporter, I was aghast.

I had this terrigible, horrigible and even vegetable feeling of utmost betrayal. To add injury to the insult, this blogger is a GUY who claimed to have the biggest BALLS on earth. Coconut-size ones, if I do recall correctly.

There are many, many things in life that you can change. You can change your job, your house, your car. You can change your name, your food order, your partner, your hairstyle, your underwear.

But you never ever, ever switch loyalty when it comes to football. Ever. And if you do, God have mercy on your traitorous soul.

I know some people choose to support a team because of peer pressure. Maybe for a girl, it could be because her boyfriend is a football fan, or this particular team happen to have an X number of hot players, which is equal to or greater than the sum of Y + Z combined. I know this very well because the very first time I chose to support Liverpool was back in '96. MU beat Liverpool 1-0, David James was the hot goalkeeper and I always had a thing for supporting the underdogs. MU won the game, but Liverpool won my heart. Oh, and it helped that they had hotter players too. David James was bald back then and he looked like Tyson Beckford. Jamie Redknapp was poster boy handsome. Stan Collymore was hot. Patrik Berger was hot. Compared to MU who only had Beckham? Blehhhhhh.

If you think this is a bimbotic method of choosing a football team, let me tell you this: I had an ex who supported Chelsea because his favourite colour is blue. Go figure. Anyway, if it wasn't for Liverpool, I would've supported Chelsea because back then Zola was kinda cute. And Chelsea won me quite abit of money, but that's a story for another day.

Anyway, for the record, I support Liverpool. And Argentina for the World Cup. And when it comes to football, I don't switch sides. Ever.

Ken Lee is soooooo yesterday

2009-03-15T19:02:00.005-07:00

No thanks to Kurt's link, I damn near bust my bloody stitches watching this:

Hing you must watch this ok!!!!

And no, I didn't watch it till the end. Don't dare.

And ze evil toofz iz out!

2009-03-15T02:22:00.006-07:00

The surgery was an anti-climax.

The needle was not as scary as I thought. I've had more painful mouth ulcers.

My dentist is seriously skilled. He was referred to me by a colleague who had a seriously impacted wisdom tooth. All the dentists she went to either refused to take up her case, or referred her to the SGH dental specialist, until one referred her to THIS dentist.

Coincidentally, my gay friend also recommended this dentist to me.

Anyway, the dentist told me that if I went to SGH to get my impacted wisdom tooth extracted, chances are they'll cut through my jaw bone, which would result in serious swelling and extreme pain. He also told me that he never cuts through the jaw bone and as a result of his non-invasive surgery, most of his patients experience zero to extremely mild swelling.

He drilled my tooth into half before extracting the bits separately. From the time I entered the room to when I left, the whole process took roughly 20 mins. I was a nervous wreck. Every time the dentist raised and lowered the chair, I visibly flinched. Every time the dentist brought a new apparatus near my mouth, I clammed up and used my hands to cover my lips.

I remember that when the dentist drilled my teeth, I smelled burning skin. Like "chau tah" smell.

I remember the assistant not really knowing how to hold the saliva sucker thing properly, and I looked like I had a water fountain coming out of my mouth.

I remember emitting a small whimper when I saw the dentist holding the sutures because I've never had stitches before and the idea of some part of my body being sewn up is just... gross.

Obviously I've watched wayyyy too many movies like this one:

The movie in which two teeange girls were invited to attend a party by a stranger online AND THEY ACTUALLY WENT. Look what happened in the end. Hah!

The next shittiest part kicked in when the anaesthesia wore off. It was like... being kicked in the face by a donkey. My whole jaw was ultra-sensitive and painful, and to top it off, the pain gave me a headache. That was when I made ibuprofen 400mg my newest best friend. Sorry mefenamic acid, your 250mg just didn't cut it.

Anyway, I didn't eat anything since my lunch of watery porridge on yesterday till about noon today. Still on watery porridge and mushy disgestive biscuits soaked in hot water, but I did sneak a little chocolate. Not my fault ok, I've gone 24 hrs without a cigarette!

Surprisingly, I'm experiencing minimal pain even without painkillers. I just feel icky when I feel the stitches pull slightly on my gums when I turn my head too fast. Should be able to do semi-solids tomorrow. I'm sick of eating baby food.

For once...

2009-03-13T20:41:00.003-07:00

I am eating wayyyyyy slower than my sister.

I ordered a large KFC whipped potato for dinner and could only managed to finish half.

It took me nearly an hour to eat four har kau. <-- saddest thing in the world.

I want to eat McVites digestive biscuits but I can't.

I want to eat Cadbury Rum&Raisin dark chocolate but I can't.

I want to eat icecream but I don't know if I can. I don't dare to try also.

Heck, I can't eat anything. :(

Swallowing leads to pain leads to headache.

Warm milk is the only food that doesn't hurt that much when swallowed.

I eat by smushing food against my top right molars with my tongue because my jaw can't fully close.

My tongue is rapidly being chewed to death because I use it as a buffer/cushion between my upper and lower jaw.

I have no idea what to eat. My sister suggested porridge water. I don't want to eat porridge because I cannot stand the thought of floating rice particles trapped between my teeth. Even the graininess of mash potato irritates me. I am seriously considering buying those little jars of baby food. Seriously.

Anyhoo, there's no way I can wait till 23/4 to get my tooth extracted. So I'm scheduling another appointment this afternoon with a private dental practitioner.

GAWD I SUPERHATE NEEDLES POKING MY GUMS!!!!!!! @$#%!@#$!@#

*whimper*

Mefenamic acid is my new best friend

2009-03-12T23:52:00.003-07:00

My 38 is impacted. That's what the poliklinik dentist calls my stupid wisdom (oxymoron!) tooth.

It freakin hurts, but my cold-hearted parents wouldn't even dream of cooking porridge for me. No, I eat whatver they eat. If I want porridge, I can cook it myself. My mother even attempted to stop my grandmother for cooking porridge for me ok.

Anyway, in the spirit of extreme scrooge-ness, I opted to go to the poliklinik dentist instead of the private one. RM1 for registration, and my surgery + X-ray will cost RM55. So cheap. The downside is the poliklinik is not equipped to handle surgery, so they referred me to the specialist at SGH.

My little surgery is scheduled on the 23rd of next month.

In the meantime, I'm downing 12 antibiotic tablets (Amoxycillin +Metronidazole combo) a day. Plus MA (see title) for pain. I love MA, it actually works better than Synflex. Takes like 96% of the pain away. The lady manning the pharmacy counter drilled it into me 3 times that I absolutely HAVE to finish my antibiotics. HAVE TO. Cannot not finish. Turf lah, lady... I take my medicines religiously ok, some more I can tell you that Amoxycillin sucks. It does nothing for my cough.

First you sign up, then you start upgrading like a manic

2009-03-11T08:10:00.003-07:00

Apart from Mousehunt (ultimate devil's tool!) on Facebook, I'm currently hooked on Travian. It's relatively (read: deceptively) easy to play, doesn't require any download, and most importantly it's FOC unlike the OTHER devil's tool (read: World of Warcraft).

Basically you get a village, and all you have to do is to upgrade your crops, iron, clay, and lumber. Then you upgrade your main building, and build crannies, granaries, and warehouses. You get beginner's protection for the first six days.

Then you get your first attack.

Since you concentrated too much on upgrading your raw materials, you lack the foresight in building a hidden cranny. You watch in disbelief as your 120 lumber, 134 clay, 100 iron and 60 crop suddenly become 0 lumber, 0 clay, 0 iron and 0 crop.

Consumed with burning rage, you fire a message to your attacker: ASSHOLE!!!

And he replies with a contrite: Sorry.

Pacified, you patiently go about rebuilding your little village. Wisely, you construct a cranny to hide some of your stock. You also remember to upgrade your crops before upgrading other things because, y'know, them workers need to eat also yo.

Then the asshole attacks you AGAIN. He gets away with 70 lumber, which is a ridiculously tiny haul compared to the first attack.

Before the third attack, you upgrade your cranny to level 2.

This time, he comes away with nothing.

Feeling smug, you send him a message: Feeling better now?

Somehow he doesn't reply, but you don't really wonder why.

Btw, I'm on Server 7. :)

Learning the value of privacy

2009-03-04T00:57:00.004-07:00

I get irritated when I come across blog spats/flames/wars and someone eventually blurts out the inevitable "THIS IS MY BLOG! I CAN WRITE WHATEVER I WANT!"

And then when someone else calls the blog owner a stupid cunt, he/she gets defensive with "THIS IS MY BLOG! PLEASE HAVE SOME RESPECT! IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU READ YOU CAN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

If you can write whatever you want, then shouldn't your readers have the right to comment however they like? Having a public blog is like opening the doors of your house wide open for anyone to come in. Nice visitors will make pleasant comments. Not so nice ones will diss you to the high heavens and then piss on your couch. But at the end of the day, it's your fault for opening your house doors for public viewing, right?

Nearly 4 years of blogging has taught me the value of privacy. I believe some things should remain sacred: personal family matters, arguments between you and your other half, office-related matters etc. Every time I start a new blog post, I have to ask myself... will this post incriminate me (or anyone else) in any way in the long term?

Sad to say, the answer is usually yes. Which makes for a boring blog, but a more peaceful life without people talking behind your back.

Which is why when sometimes we chance upon something obscenely funny, and my good friend(s) tell me that I should blog about it, I don't. Because I think that issues like, say for example, you being a man trapped in a woman's body should be kept personal. I mean, I know it's just a freakin joke, but somewhere out there, there might an idiot thinking that you're the next Jessie Chung in the making.

And we don't want that do we, honey?

Sometimes...

2009-03-01T20:06:00.003-07:00

I wish you were someone else.