And had you told Jewdar that he would be writing a defense of the Jewish Press, we would have said you were quite mad. The JP, for those not in the know, has historically been a mostly retrograde black hat Orthodox paper, replete with all the insularity and intolerance that one might expect from such a source (with some exceptions). But strange things are happening at the Jewishpress.com. A week ago they ran a fairly poignant op-ed by a gay orthodox Jew. As one might expect, this drew a certain amount of criticism, but here’s where it gets really crazy–rather than begging forgiveness, Jewishpress.com came out swinging. We have no idea where this will all lead (and we hope the website’s leadership still has jobs), but for now, we have nothing but respect for the crew at JP, and look forward to seeing what comes next.

But you know what, Mr. Eberle? If you’re really that desperate to join Club Yid, then okay. On behalf of Team Heeb (or at least the Ginjew contingent), let me be the first to say, “Welcome to The Tribe.” Did I mention the position comes with a whopping side order of guilt? For the sake of decorum, let me answer that question with another question. Would it be too much trouble to stop making internet videos for thirty seconds and call your aging mother already?

“What happens to the song no one hears? Can it come back again in a few hundred years?”

Nehedar tries to be philosophical, but fails miserably. Her song is uninteresting but just for the hell of it, I’ll take the bait and answer her rhetorical question with a question of my own: What happened to 90s sensation Blackstreet and their famed song “No Diggity”? Already nobody gives a shit about that song and it was performed just 20 years ago. So to answer your question Nehedar, no, songs don’t come back and neither will yours.

The video itself is equally confusing (you’ll find that out if you actually watch it.) For some reason random people (friends/family members?) stand in the background for way too long holding up cardboard signs of popular albums and songs titles. Is this supposed to be funny? Ironic? Or are you trying to say that in 300 years your song will be as irrelevant as Abbey Road’s “B-sides”?

And why are you on a beach with what appears to be some dude who was rejected from the cast of Jersey Shore? Considering you are a Jewish hippie chick, is this one of your terrible acid flashbacks from the Negev?

Please explain what is going on in this video and why we should remember it in 100 years.

Ari Fleischer secretly involved in Komen strategy On Planned Parenthood. (Think Progress)

Why the Komen/Planned Parenthood breakup—while it lasted—was good for feminism. (The Nation)

Escape from Williamsburg. (Forward)

Three American Jewish seminaries have been pronounced “sexually healthy.” (New Voices)

Jewish newspaper assails BDS conference for disinviting their reporter. (JTA)

A twelfth blast hits Egypt’s gas pipeline to Israel. (Reuters)

Israeli prospector says natural gas found offshore. (NPR)

The new political star of Germany is Jewish which hasn’t happened since…ever. We – Jews in Germany – are full of hope, for Marina Weisband has arrived. She will, even if she is only 24 and head of a disastrously incompetent party, bring some brighter days for all of us.

That’s what the opening line to this text would have been four weeks ago. But it was not meant to be. Marina Weisband just resigned, citing fatigue and her upcoming diploma in Psychology as the reasons. And we are all crying bloody tears.

She was one of the leaders of the Pirate Party, an offshoot of a new political organization that popped up all over Europe in the last few years. The name is reminiscent of famed download site “The Pirate Bay” for a reason: The Pirates, as they call themselves, are basically interested in Internet rights (“copyright reformation”) and not much else.

Even if they have no real economic or foreign policy plans, they are a small success, with polls predicting they could enter Parliament. In Berlin, they are already in the Senate. One of delegates there only wears overalls and a keffiyeh headscarf, another one was honestly surprised when he heard that Jews might have a different perspective on antisemitism. There is a line between charming unconventionality and blind unprofessionalism, and the Pirate Party frequently crosses it.



All of which would be totally irrelevant if the face of the party hadn’t turned out to be Marina Weisband, who joined early on and rose to the top. She is a Jewish woman amongst men who seem to have massive problems with both of those things. “Feminism” is considered a taboo concept. Every Pirate is equal; discussing gender would actually be sexist.

The Jew-thing is even more complicated. Two years ago, a Holocaust denier was still a leading member of the party. And since, for many Germans, Jewishness is a religion and nothing else, Marina Weisband, who goes to shul every Friday, is the enemy. Seemingly every day, she’s confronted with questions like “You’re a Jew? Isn’t that some sort of Nazi-thing?” by Twitterers who proudly identify as Pirates.

But we never questioned Marina (we get to call her that) for her staying with the Pirates. If anything, it made us like her more: A tragic Jewish heroine, trapped in a goyishe organization. She just seemed like, given the opportunity, she would and could get shit done, starting with some of her party colleagues.


I don’t think there’s a Jewish politician that inspires the same kind of adulation in the US. Maybe pre-scandal Anthony Weiner, when he was that guy who was friends with Jon Stewart and an awesome yeller. But adoration for Weisband was different. Had she been in office some months longer, I have no doubt there would have been shirts with her face, Shepard Fairey-style. Alas.

When news broke that Marina had received antisemitic hate mail and was going to resign, everybody suddenly realized that there really is no hope. Even if she says that those two events are unconnected: Here is a smart and proud Jewish woman who was too good for this world.

Wait, it’s not like she’s dead. She says she’s gonna return – this time, hopefully not surrounded by latently antisemitic sexist bumbling idiots. During a talk show, a former governor casually said to her, “And in 30 years, when you’re Chancellor…” – everybody laughed, Weisband included – “no, I’m serious! You’re gonna be Chancellor!” Who knows. We’ll see in 30 years.

Till then, of course, Germany can go fuck itself.

Everybody loves a good fairytale. Boy meets Girl, Girl gets nose job, Boy decides Girl is attractive enough to keep around. In this case, the part of Boy is played by the British public, and it’s Labour Party leader Ed Miliband filling the role of the recently surgery-ed. Miliband claims the surgery was to fix a deviated septum. Yeah, anybody who’s ever been to Great Neck has heard that excuse more than once. Forget about Tay-Sachs; genetecists need to start investigating the link between Ashkenazim and deviated septa.

While this surgery isn’t doing much to help the public see Miliband as less “weird,” at least it couldn’t possibly hurt his lower-than-ever ratings. Perhaps it will even have the opposite effect. Because hey, who among us hasn’t been or doesn’t know someone who has been the victim of botched nose job surgery? (I’m looking at you, Sarah Michelle Gellar.) This totally makes him relatable, in that jappy-girl-next-door kind of way.

The lesson we can all learn from Miliband is that these sorts of image changes are best done at the very beginning of one’s career. Miliband might be dreaming of becoming the next Disraeli, but at this point, he’s more likely just to end up as the British Jennifer Grey.