to her edge surely just to my ankles but she beckoned,
lapping my legs with foam, clapping her bawdy castanets
and breaking on sand bars ever just beyond me. “Come,”

she laughed. Not one to resist the tease of salt I waded,
she nipping at my calves, then knees, then tender place of joy
I never could help in spite of myself. Further and further

I went, shallow then deep and shallow again,
turning to squint into the sun here and then to find the shore
and your long arms waving in the accent of my father. Surprised

every time, I’d wave back only to be pulled away again
by inexorable riptides of memory and longing
I could only ever feel, without breaking, in the ocean.

(c) Heidi Fischbach, 2010

Like most things, when all is well and at ease we don’t even think about our jaws. But when things get tight? Ow. Jaw tension can make it hard to chew, to laugh, to talk, to drink, to yawn, to sing… oh my. (Aww, dear jaw, thank you for helping me do so many things!)

I remember a 2 week stretch of jaw tension I had last year. I felt like the tin man in the Wizard of Oz, and all I wanted was for someone to come and squeeze some oil into my jaw joint.

We can certainly focus on your jaw the next time you come for a massage session, but in the meantime (or if you are a far-away reader), here’s a quick and quite possibly fun(ny) thing you can do to get some relief:

1. Get yourself a cork. A wine cork will do just fine.
2. Put the cork between your front teeth and bite down on it. It can be the short way or the long way, no matter. Just be sure not to overstretch your jaw to get the cork in there for goodness sake. Also, you don't need a death grip on that cork. Just a bite that will hold it there. Remember, we're aiming for ease.
3. If there is someone around, grab them and give them a cork too. If you do this exercise with someone else, you’ll probably laugh, and laughing–especially while biting down on a cork– can be verrrrry helpful for tightness of jaw.
4. With the cork held between your teeth, proceed to have a conversation. Or sing. Or laugh. Or tell on all the things that are bugging you. But do make noise, or some kind of sound. Go ahead. For 5 – 10 minutes.
5. If no one is around or you’d rather do this alone, you will still need to talk or make vocal noise. Maybe grab your hairbrush and sing yourself a song. Do some karaoke or garage band. Read yourself a poem or a story. Shout and laugh. Anything, but make sounds.
6. After 5 – 10 minutes take out the cork and then take another minute to massage your jaw like this:
   • Use both hands. Put the pad of your 2nd, 3rd and 4th fingers on your mandible (just under and forward of your earlobe) — you’ll know you’re in the right place if you open your mouth a bit and feel the hinge joint of the jaw moving.
   • Once your fingers are in place, firmly (but again, not ow!) make repeated, small circular movements, about the size of the diameter of a nickle or quarter… Your fingers will stay touching the same skin (i.e. not traveling across it), but you will feel your fascia (the connective tissue under the skin) moving in circles with your fingers. (If you’ve had a massage from me, you may remember me doing this).

You can do this exercise a couple times a day, every day, while things are tight.

Wishing you ease. And fun!

P.S. My office hours in Harvard Square are Thursdays & Fridays 8:30 a.m. – 8:30 p.m. / Saturdays 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. — Come see me!

We talked about the aardvark, and about juggling many balls of work—massage, potion-making, and writing—and about writing in one’s own voice, even when running a business.

You can read the whole thing over HERE.

Hot & Steamy Monday Momma came by for a visit yesterday. This morning her post was on my desk with a note: “Dahlin’, kindly post this on your blog for your lovely people.”

Greetings!

When I arrived in Boston yesterday morning I heard Heidi saying that if only Someone with a big S, or someone with a little s, or anyone, really, were with her, then her life would be better. It’s a lonesome thought that one (if only, then…), likely to bring its share of sad and tears. So I decided to pay her a visit.

I nearly scared her to death when I appeared at her window, truth be told. She was all, “heard of a door, lady?” But she let me in. Kind of her, really, perched as I was on quite the narrow ledge on the second floor thankyouverymuch of her building. I might be the weather, but a brick ledge is a precarious perch no matter who you are.

“Helllllohhh,” I exclaimed, in my best sultry voice. “I’m Hot & Steamy Monday Momma. Lovely to see you, Heidi.”

Her eyes got all squinty. “And who are you?”

“I just told you, I’m Hot & Steamy Monday Momma.” I tried not to grin.

“Right,” she raised her left eyebrow skeptically. To be fair though, while I know her quite well, this was the first time I’d appeared at her window wanting in.

“And how exactly do you know who I am?”

Oh my, but that just made me laugh– to think that it’s not obvious that the weather would know everything there is to know… But I pulled it together and tried to look serious, for her sake: “yes, love, you’re Heidi. We weather girls know.”

She stood there, pretty much just staring, her mouth agape.

“What? You’ve never seen a Hot & Steamy Monday Momma before?”

She shook her head.

“You gonna offer me a cup of coffee or something?

“Oh, sure,” she said, “sorry. I didn’t know the weather needed caffeine.”

Cheeky, ain’t she?

“I take it you want it iced.”

“Oh no, dahlin’, hot and steamy is my way.”

While she was in the kitchen I had a look-feel around. There was definitely a heavy sense in the air and it wasn’t me, I swear. This was some kind of heavy lonesome.

“Creme and sugar?” she called out.

“Does it rain in the rain forest?” I called back.

We sat and sipped our drinks, not saying much. Finally she asked, “why are you here?”

“You asked for help. I came.”

“Oh, that.” I knew she was remembering her words into her pillow as she’d fallen asleep the night before.

We sat there for another spell, quietly sipping, cradling our mugs.

“Monday–uh–Momma?” she asked.

“Yes, Sweetpea, tell me–”

“Not to state the obvious, but it’s impossible to get hugged if you are alone. And, well, I’m trying to be brave and strong and all, but I’m just afraid about the alone thing.”

I knew that our girl Heidi is my old friend Curiosity’s #1 fan so I invited her to consider possibilities, potential fallacies in her conclusions.

“I hear you about the alone thing. I do. I know where your mind goes when you think of alone and the future, and those are scary places to go. Let’s get real basic, OK? How about those hugs: what is it about being hugged that you want?” I asked.

“To feel enveloped. Held. Taken care of. Supported. Not alone. Connected. Loved.”

“Ah, yes, lovely. What if you knew that those things and qualities, and indeed, even hugs, are available to you no matter your relationship status?

She raised that wayward eyebrow of hers again, but I could see her mind chewing on my question.

“Take Mother Nature. She’s a single woman, and a single mother, at that. At least these days. Lord have mercy!” I stopped to wipe my brow, feeling a rumble of thunder in my chest, which I quelled. “Not that she hasn’t had her lovers, mind you. Not that she hasn’t had the wunderbar liaisons and long and loving relationships… I mean, you and I would not be here if it weren’t for those. But really! You’ve got to give it to her. That woman keeps going and going and giving and giving and taking and taking… she’s a sight to behold–

Heidi interrupted: “um, a point?”

Good thing I adore her. I sized her up and realized how impatient she was for a hug. “Where was I when you interrupted my story?”

“Mother Nature and her lovers–” she said, rolling her eyes a bit.

“Yes, well then… Heidi, you don’t need to be with someone to be hugged. And you can be with someone and be hugged and still feel lonely and unhugged.”

“I know! What’s with that?!”

“What’s with that is that it really doesn’t have much to do with the hugs themselves then, does it?”

“Come again?”

“Well, if you can be happy or not with a hug, and happy or not without a hug, what’s it got to do with the hugs themselves? But still, Sweetheart, that’s for another time. About the hugs–”

“Won’t you just tell me already?”

“Tell you what?”

“Tell me where these regardless-of-relationship-status hugs are available?”

“I can’t just tell you! You know very well that telling someone things doesn’t really work. People need to find their own things. Plus it can be a game, and I know you and Curiosity like to play those.”

“Lady! You crawled through my window to tell me this? That I have to find my own examples and answers on how I don’t need someone in order to be hugged?”

“Uh, pretty much.”

At that her eyes looked so sad, it practically made me start raining in her living room.

“Tell you what. Weren’t you going to go out for a run?”

I asked in order to remind her that she always feels better after getting fresh air and movement, and that something about the repetition of motion gives her mind lots of “bings!” and invariably opens up a sense of new possibilities.

“Yes.”

“I’ll come along, and we’ll see what we find. OK?”

She studied me in my colorful scarves and dangling, weathered beach glass earrings. “Weather girls jog?”

I did not stoop to answer that.

Off we went to the park where we did Heidi’s alternatey run-walk thing. On the runs we were quiet. On the walking laps, we talked.

“What kind of hug would you want today, Heidi?” I asked.

“A big bear kind of hug. ”

“Ah yes, like a momma bear or poppa bear in the stories?”

“Something like that.”

“Just thinking of it, can’t you just feel it already?”

“Yeah, sort of. But— I want the real thing. Not the airy fairy pretend thing.”

I smiled, not about to argue. Plus I’m confident in her ability to keep opening her mind. I didn’t tell her what we weather girls and Curiosity have always known but which human scientists have recently just discovered: there are these neurons (they call them “mirror neurons“) which fire not only when a person is actually doing a thing, but also when she or he is watching, or even seeing in their minds’ eye, someone else perform that same thing. Wonderful thing, that, isn’t it?

Her voice interrupted my thoughts. “I suppose there’s mossy soft forest floor hugs, too, like in Mary Oliver’s poem, “Sleeping in the Forest.”

See? She already gets the mirror neuron thing. Smart girl! I will have to commend Curiosity.

“Oh yes, sweetheart, that’s a lovely find. That Mary Oliver, we adore her, don’t we?”

“Mmmm, yes. What’s your favorite of hers?”

“I could never pick just one. Oh so many… Peonies. The Journey. When Death Comes… I know you have a number of them on your blog.”

We ran for another lap, me enjoying the steaminess of my Monday thankyouthankyou, and by our next walking lap, she’d found more.

“Oh! There’s being buoyed by water and feeling enveloped and held up at once, every last ounce of me, with whatever heavyness or lightness I might have in my heart, totally and fully supported.” She fairly shouted this, probably on account of being out of breath, but also excited.

“Do you get to go swimming, I mean, being the weather?” she asked.

“Oh Heidi, I get to do everything. And yes, water is a fantastic lover, I mean hugger.” I coughed, suddenly feeling steamier than I recalled having set the day to be.

It was getting to be the end of our time at the park, so I offered a suggestion of my own. “You know, if it reeeally is the flesh and blood person kind of hug you want, you could always stop a person on the street and ask them for a hug.”

I got a look from her for that, but continued unperturbed. “Sure, one might look at you weirdly, but the next person might be delighted. And who knows! You might make his or her day, sweetheart! Just sayin’. You can get creative about the actual in-the-flesh hugs. And I know you have virtual hugs at the ever-ready with all your lovelies around the world.”

She nodded, not having much breath to talk anymore. Which apparently I still did.

“And of course there’s the Hot & Steamy Momma Monday hugs, which is what I’m all about. You can always go out into the day of me, maybe for an early morning run at the park, or a 2 in the afternoon ambling stroll to the corner store, and I’ll be right there, as close as the sweat trickling down the side of your face. Tell me, who else’s hug has ever done that for you?!

“You’re weird, you know that?”

“There you go, my sweet! Happy Monday! Consider yourself hugged!”

And off I went, to my next stop. Maybe you. If so, I hope you live on the ground floor.

Like for Madonna, for example. It was a long time ago I said that, but I did.

And then there is, of course, Leonard Cohen. That’s been a crush of 10 years and counting. Be still my heart!

And then one day, not that many days ago at all, having just sung and danced my heart out at an outdoor Trombone Shorty concert, I said the thing about wanting to come back and sing backup… And someone said, why backup?

And I was quiet. Hmmmm…

Truth is, I have things kicking to get out. But I’ve felt shy. Or ashamed. Or not brave enough. And I thought the things wanting out were just mine.

But it turns out they weren’t. Mine, that is. At least not to keep inside.

Last week I recorded myself singing Sisters of Mercy. A wee step. And today I’ve gone and taken another…

It’s a prose-poem I wrote last year. Even as I wrote it I could feel it pounding like some kind of horses in my chest. And horses, my friend, were never meant to be in chests.

So here you go, out loud, baby!

“A Poem Came Pounding” (Heidi Fischbach (c) 2009)

+

Inspiration-igniting and Fear-taming Audios
(meditation/hypnosis recordings to invite the potion’s intention at the deepest unconscious level)

The audios will be available for download on Wednesday, July 28. AND you can order them now.

Why would I want to order now?

We are offering a we-really-want-our-people-to-have-this-pre-release special!

Nice. How special do I get to be if I order now?

You are still super special even if you didn’t order, but if you just did, thank you thank you! *Kisses* We’re super excited for you.

Still have questions? Keep reading… we hope to answer them.

Heidi, why does this potion plus audio thing get you so excited?

Did you know that smell is the most direct and primal of all our senses? When you smell something, your cerebral cortex sends a message straight to your limbic brain. Limbic brain? Yep, that’s your emotional center.

And did you know that hypnosis bypasses your ingrained patterns and outworn beliefs, allowing you to chat directly with your unconscious?

That’s a whole lot of bypassing of our ingrained patterns and usual places of stuck and muck!

We can’t wait for you to have this magical potion+audio set to ignite transformation in the zippy and super-charged subtle places where body and mind get it on and things can’t help but change.

Which 3 potions will it be?

Remember when you voted and let us know which ones you wanted us to make an accompanying hynosis/meditation audio for? We had a 3-way tie! You wanted:

Night Queen to develop your confident passion

Losing It to calm you the heck down in moments of overwhelm and fear

Sassypants to help you live your truth, without worrying about the world’s approval

What exactly will my Potion+Hypnosis Audio Set include?

• ½ oz. Losing It potion (with essential oils of sandalwood, lemongrass, vetiver and more) PLUS accompanying meditation/hypnosis audio to calm you down and ground you.
• ½ oz. Night Queen potion (with essential oils of jasmine, clary sage, chamomile and more) PLUS accompanying meditation/hypnosis audio recording to strengthen your calm and assertive confidence.
• ½ oz. Sassypants potion (with essential oils of cardamom, lime and more) PLUS accompanying meditation/hypnosis audio recording to help you hold your chin high and live your good life without waiting for the world’s approval. (No more tongue biting. ow!)

Shipping and delivery:

The potions will be shipped via United States Postal Service Priority Mail. Yes, we ship internationally, too. (Domestic shipping is $6.00 / international shipping is $15.00).

The mp3 audio recordings will be available for download on July 28.

The sooner you pre-order, the more likely you will be to have your potions when the audios arrive on July 28.

About the potions:

“Lotions and potions for mixed up emotions” is all about helping people with their hard stuff. The stuff that makes you cry. The stuff that makes you melt down. The stuff that makes you bite your tongue, even though what you have to say is important. You are totally and awesomely amazing as you are, AND the potions help you grow into and practice the qualities you want more of.

Aardvark potions are essential oils that have been combined for therapeutic effect, and hand-blended into a base cream made of shea butter, jojoba oil, grapeseed and/or apricot kernel oil, vitamin E and rosemary oleoresin. (Last 2 ingredients are antioxidants. They do not smell of rosemary).

• They melt upon skin contact and go on silky smooth.
• Can be used on entire body, including face.
• Lovely glide, without being too slippery. (Developed by a massage therapist. Hi!).
• One application last for hours. Fantastic for rough skin places when left on overnight.
• The scent unfolds upon skin contact, inviting the intention of the potion.
• The scent is subtle. As the essential oils meet air, their scent fades, while the potion’s intention remains.
• Made from organic, wild-crafted or farm select essential oils. In a few cases the essential oils are conventionally farmed, but all are pure: no synthetic additives, fillers or chemical imitations of scents. (This is very good news for people allergic to commercial perfumes, because unlike those, Aardvark Potions is very unlikely to make you sneeze. Nor will any sensitive souls near you have to move away.)
• Shelf life of about a year. (No preservatives. No parabens.) Aardvark potions are fresh stuff! Use them soon.

About the audios:

The magic of the audios comes from Shannon Wilkinson‘s use of neuro-linguistic programming and hypnosis. Shannon’s extensive training and her work with hundreds of people means that she has fine-tuned methods that make a noticeable difference.

Listening to the audio recordings will help you relax and take in, at a conscious and unconscious level, the unique qualities that these potions are meant to bring out. Think of it as you –by way of Shannon’s lovely soothing voice—having a chat with your unconscious mind. No one will be making you do anything you don’t want. You will simply be calling forth qualities you’d love to experience that, for whatever reason, may have been dormant until now.

The audios are downloadable MP3s (playing time of about 20 minutes).

All you will do is listen, preferably with headphones, after applying the companion potion, or simply opening the jar and taking in its scent.

Your mind may wander as you listen, and that’s okay. When you notice, just bring your awareness back to the audio.

Different people experience different things when listening to an audio like this. You might feel like you’ve been asleep, or daydreaming, or you may feel fully conscious of what you’re hearing. Even if you feel like you’ve been asleep, rest assured(!), your mind will be soaking up all of the good stuff. And, you can listen again, if you’re curious about what your conscious mind missed.

So, what do you say! Want?

And then one day you’re on German Guy’s porch reading “Stranger Music, Selected Poems and Songs by Leonard Cohen.” Leonard Cohen, your hero, your inspiration, your number one crush (when it’s not Clint Eastwood. Or Pablo Neruda. Or Billy Collins. Or or…). Leonard Cohen, whom you secretly fantasize singing back up for.

Then German Guy comes out and finds you singing and just like that he says, let’s record it.

And so you do.

Here you go, my friend. Sisters of Mercy. Take 1. As is. Because if I mess with it I’ll spend my whole Sunday on technology and it’ll never get done. Or be good enough for If Only. And if I think about it for 2 more seconds I’ll chicken out.

Press here to listen.

DEE-lighted to announce the people- and potion-winners of our contest!

*Drum roll, please!*

[Picture Shannon and Heidi, in fanciest of fancy Potion-Oscar gowns...  Shannon hands Heidi the envelope:]

The Grand Prize goes to:
Karencita

Great Prize One goes to:
Bridget (@intuitivebridge)

Great Prize Too goes to:
Elizabeth B

[When clapping dies down, Heidi hands Shannon another white envelope, this one with the Potion winners... Shannon is opening the envelope... Her eyes widen in surprise...]

“Oh. My! It’s a 3-way tie! And the winners are:”

Night Queen
(to develop your confident passion)

Losing It
(to calm the heck down in moments of overwhelm and fear)

Sassypants
(to help you live what’s true for you, without worrying about the world’s approval)

Wow! Yay! Cheers all around.

* * *

We had loads of fun reading all your votes, tweets and blog entries and send big kisses to everyone who participated and cheered us on.

Contest winners: We’ll be contacting you shortly to get your mailing information.  Your potions will be mailed out in the next week, and your audio downloads will be available on Wednesday, July 28. Congratulations!

Because we’d love everyone to win in some way, and because we’re super excited to start selling these creations now, we are offering a Pre-Release Sale to anyone and everyone who would like to get in on the Potion+Audio Alchemy Package:

Order now, and get all 3 potions & accompanying audios for:

$56 (plus shipping)
(after July 28th, the price will be $80)

Like contest winners, your potions will be mailed out within in the next week, and your audio downloads will be available on Wednesday, July 28.

What is included in the Potion+Audio Alchemy Package?

1/2 oz. of 3 Aardvark Essentials Potions
(artfully blended essential oils in a silky handmade lotion)

+

3 MP3 Inspiration-igniting and fear-taming hypnosis-y meditation audios
(to invite the potion’s intention at the deepest unconscious level)

Read more about the Potion+Audio Alchemy Package.

KBye! xoxo

Heidi

Mr. Aardvark, of Aardvark Essentials thank you very much, hereby announces his upcoming partnership with the fear-taming and inspiration-igniting, Shannon Wilkinson. We couldn’t be more excited. (The aardvark has been secretly crushing on Shannon for awhile, truth be told. Don’t tell him I told you. He’s a bit shy.)

What exactly will this partnership bring you?

You know those potions that you love? Well, those very potions will soon be available accompanied by downloadable audios, custom-made for each potion, to help you ignite potion-magics inside yourself in the zippy, subtle and super-charged places where body and mind get it on and things can’t help but change.

I, for one, am crazy-excited about this. It’s something I’ve been wanting for awhile, and being able to partner up with Shannon, is a perfect blend of superpowers: potion-y magics from the Aardvark, and audio-magic-coachings from a life coach. (Shannon is @shannonmv on twitter.)

Yay! What else?

What else indeed! We need your help.

Please vote and help us pick 3 potions:

what potion(s) would you like to see accompanied by an inspiration-igniting audio?

Maybe it’s your favorite potion, the one you keep telling me you’re addicted to… Maybe it’s the one that keeps you from losing it… Or the one that helps you love yourself up without a sugar hangover… Or maybe it’s the one you keep hearing people talk about, have been dying to try, and just haven’t gotten around to yet… Yup, that’s the one! Or maybe it’s plural, because yes, you can pick up to 3 potions.

And too? Get this!: By voting you get entered into a drawing to win prizes.

YAY! Prizes! Like what?

Grand Prize (1 winner): All-potion 1/2 oz. sampler set PLUS 3 audios (value of US$136)

Great Prizes (2 winners): 1/2 oz. ea. of 3 winning potions PLUS accompanying audios (value of US$80)

YAY! Can’t wait. How do I vote?

Easy-peasy! 

Thing 1 (essential). Post a comment to this blog post (by Tuesday, 13 July at noon PT/3pm ET). Have fun and play. Get creative! But make sure your comment includes the name(s) of up to 3 potion(s) you want.

Maybe you’ll write a love note… Or a thank you note… Or a little poem or ditty. Or a haiku.

Something like: “Dear Mr. Aardvark, I’m writing to ask you for Sassypants’ hand in marriage. She’s a hottie. And she keeps me cool. I can’t live without her. Love, HeadOverHeels”

Or: “Dear Mr. Aardvark, thank you for helping me with that online dating thing. Oof! Dating  ain’t for wimps. Every time I go on a date I put “Losing It” on my legs (to keep me grounded), “Chocolita” on my arms (to help me love myself even if the guy turns out to be a cabbage head) and “Night Queen” on my face and neck (in case of a kiss *ahem*) Love, DatingIn2010″

Of course, you could just keep it zen and simple by naming the potion straight up, no frills.

“Ease, Please!”

It’s all good. But whatever you do, DO name the potion(s). Because that will be your vote and constitutes one entry in the prize drawing.

One entry? Can I get more than one entry?

Yep!

Thing 2 (optional). To get yourself 2 entries, talk up and link to our contest (full link: http://heidistable.com/potion-contest/ OR short link: http://wp.me/pM6yX-nN). Help us get the word out to your people! You know your ways… twitter, facebook, your blog, your knitting forum, your eat-watermelon-naked-in-the-heat-wave-group, or plain old fashioned email…

IMPORTANT: Be sure to link to this blog entry and copy us so we know to give you 2 entries. (On twitter, mention @aardvarkpotions. On Facebook, @Aardvark-Essentials)

Here’s examples of tweets (feel free to copy and paste)

• “Oooh! @aardvarkpotions is running a contest. With prizes! I just voted for Night Queen. http://wp.me/pM6yX-nN”
• “Get out the @aardvarkpotions vote! Check it out: http://wp.me/pM6yX-nN”
• “I want to marry Sassypants. That’s who I voted for. http://wp.me/pM6yX-nN” @aardvarkpotions”
• “Potions, magics and prizes from @aardvarkpotions… I just voted for Chocolita! http://wp.me/pM6yX-nN”
• “What’s your fave potion? @aardvarkpotions is throwing a contest! Vote soon. http://wp.me/pM6yX-nN”

The not-small print:

- You may vote for up to 3 potions in your comment, and you may talk us up like crazy to your people (*mwah!*), but you may only win once.

- Winners will be picked at random. (Shannon and I will do the electronic equivalent of drawing names from a magic hat).

- You can vote even if you’ve never tried a potion in person.

- Friends and family members of Mr. Aardvark, Heidi and Shannon, may most certainly participate.

- International entries are welcome.

- Comments will close on Tuesday, 13 July, noon PT/3pm ET.

- Winners will be announced right here on the Heidi’s blog on Friday, 16 July. (Sign up if you want to receive an email when Heidi posts a new blog entry. Or, subscribe in a reader. If you follow @aardvarkpotions on twitter, we’ll also send you a DM).

Sooooo… Which of the following potions would you like to see win?

Sassypants
Night Queen
Cha Cha Chai
Chocolita
Ease, Please!
I’ve Had It!
Losing It
Up & at ‘em!

OK. Off you go then. Get out the vote!

Big thank yous. Much joy. *mwha!* *slobbery aardvark kisses*