One would assume that the Hello Kitty tooth would make all Hello Kitty fanatics come to their senses and simply admit that Hello Kitty x dentistry will never go together, but once again you would be underestimating the lengths that Hello Kitty will go to get her image on absolutely everything. Thus, the Hello Kitty retainer was born:

Upon seeing this, my wife thought that the entire concept of a Hello Kitty dentist would be a wonderful idea. At one point she even exclaimed, “Wouldn’t Hello Kitty braces be the cutest thing ever?!”

All I could imagine was having Hello Kitty leaning over me with a Hello Kitty dentist drill in her hand with a Hello Kitty drill bit on the end hitting my teeth as the Hello Kitty Novocaine she administered hand no numbing effect. Now that I think about it, that would probably be on par to the pain that Hello Kitty Hell causes me on a daily basis…

Sent in by Tara who has already punished herself more than I could ever imagine wishing upon her by merely thinking that getting a custom made Hello Kitty retainer is something a sane person would do…

Sent in by Amy who should have to dress up like this everyday for the rest of her life as punishment for creating the thought in my wife’s mind that this would be “a cute and wonderful costume” for us to wear next Halloween (I’m moving back to Japan before that happens), and for ever thinking that anything good would come of sending it to me…

While Hello Kitty fanatics may see something like this as cute (you have to seriously feel for the lumberjack significant other that has to carry this around at work), for the rest of us it pretty much exemplifies what any horror movie villain (or the evil feline herself) would undoubtedly use to dismember victims. In fact, The Hello Kitty Chainsaw Massacre is probably already in production and is guaranteed to be the most horrifying movie that you have ever seen. Then again, getting dismembered by Hello Kitty wielding a Hello Kitty chainsaw probably would be less painful than actually having to live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Shelly who really should have to spend all her free time cutting firewood with this thing (along with a miscellaneous Hello Kitty plush now and then which “accidentally” gets mixed in with the wood pile) as punishment for ever thinking that sending it to me could ever be a good idea.

Update: Apparently, this brings out the worst fears in everyone:

(via Onipepper)

(via Mysticmaster)

Sent in by Peter

Sent in by Stacy who has confirmed that the world is much closer to doom that anyone ever imagined…

Apparently, Vancouver is the Hello Kitty crap capital of Canada from the emails and comments I’ve been receiving telling me about where I can do all kinds of great Hello Kitty shopping. I know this may come as a shock to some of you because you have obviously completely misunderstood the title of this blog, but what I really need is advice on how I can avoid seeing any Hello Kitty crap if I am fortunate enough to make it to Vancouver — not where I can find it. Just saying…

This next contest is for a Hello Kitty bento making set. Believe me, if you ever want to thoroughly embarrass somebody in front of their friends (and have their friends crack jokes about what they are having for lunch for the rest of their career), use this baby to pack a lunch for that person (unfortunately, I know this all too well from personal experience):

The Olympic contest is to help support and spread the word about lesser known athletes participating in the Olympics games. I’ve decided to participate by helping get the word out to people by creating Facebook fan pages.

We’re going to step this one up a notch and give five easy ways to enter this contest instead of just one:

1. Become a Facebook fan of Robel Teklemariam who is the lone athlete from Ethiopia participating in the Vancouver Olympics.

2. Write a message of encouragement to Robel Teklemariam either as a comment to one of the posts on facebook or on the wall. The message should be 10+ words in length (let him know you really care).

3. Write a message of encouragement to Clyde Getty either as a comment to one of the posts on facebook or on the wall. The message should be 10+ words in length (let him know you really care).

4. Write a message of encouragement to Tugba Karademir either as a comment to one of the posts on facebook or on the wall. The message should be 10+ words in length (let her know you really care).

5. Follow The Olympic Dream on twitter.

You can enter once or up to five times – whatever number of the above you want to do. For each of the above you do, leave a comment letting me know which one you have completed (so you can have up to 5 comments for this post) and each comment will be an entry into the giveaway. I will have a random number generated for the comments that qualify which are left below. The person’s comment that matches the number will receive the Hello Kitty bento making set.

The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Thurs January 28th. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world.

Update: There were 206 entries in this contest and the random came out as #66. Congratulations to Joy for winning and thanks to all for the comments that you left. Several of the athletes have commented how much the support means to them.

For some unfathomable reason, my wife thinks that this is adorable and would be fun to wear around. Something about being able to wear your hair as Hello Kitty on a daily basis or something like that, but to tell the truth, I’m not sure exactly what she was saying because as soon as I heard the word “adorable,” I immediately tuned out everything she said. I knew my head would explode in excruciating pain if I actually had to hear somebody explaining how this could be cute, and my self preservation instinct kicked in.

So my wife does have a reason, but I hope I never find out what it actually is. Then again, the fear that she might spontaneously decide to tell me again when my defenses are down pretty much ensures more Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Lynn (via princessdelacoiffure) who should have to listen to my wife explain exactly why she finds it adorable again and again until she grows tired of doing so (never) as punishment for ever thinking that sending this photo to me could result in anything positive.

Sent in by lilly (via elfo streetart – image used with permission)

This contest is for a Hello Kitty Nori punch courtesy of my wife (who incidentally has been greatly encouraged by acquaintances who say that there are quite a few places to buy Hello Kitty crap in Vancouver — which has me thinking that maybe winning isn’t going to be the escape from Hello Kitty Hell that I had first imagined…):

The Olympic contest is to help support and spread the word about lesser known athletes participating in the Olympics games. I decided to participate by helping get the word out to people by creating Facebook fan pages.

Entering this contest is easy — simply become a Facebook fan of Tugba Karademir, a Turkish ice-skater who has struggled to find coaches and sponsors when many top ice-skaters are treated like rock stars. If you have the chance (although not part of the contest), also leave a message of encouragement and I’ll make sure that Tugba reads it.

After becoming a fan, leave a comment letting me know that you have and that will be your entry. I will have a random number generated for the comments that qualify left below. The person’s comment that matches the number will receive the Hello Kitty nori punch.

The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Sunday January 24th. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world.

Update: For all those that entered the first contest and became fans of Clyde Getty (and if you haven’t, please do), he slightly injured himself doing a triple layout back flip in competition. I think he would greatly appreciate a message of encouragement for a quick recovery. Please consider doing so.

Update 2: Congratulations to Carol Browne who won the ice tray in the previous giveaway.

Update 3: There were 94 official entries in this contest and the randome number generated was 46 making Harriet the winner. Congratulations.

While I should write that I will now give a spoiler, I really don’t need to because when I explain it you won’t believe me — but you can’t make these things up. This video featuring Darth Cat Nip, Princess Kitty, Master Fluke, Hop 2 D 2, Hobi Kat Nobi and, of course, The Fur. The question is can you last until Master Fluke and Darth Kat Nip fight with their Flea Sabers. Seriously, watch at your own risk!

The worst part of watching this was that my wife saw my jaw on the ground in disbelief and took that to mean that I was actually interested. I don’t know if it is worse having my wife now constantly wanting me to watch this series or instantly thinking of “The Fur” and “flea sabers” when Star Wars is brought up. You can not unthink these things which ensures never ending Hello Kitty Hell…