One look at this and you realize that those who advocate abstinence sex education have been going about it all in the wrong way. Go ahead and teach as much such education as possible in schools, but simply require that all girls have to walk around with Hello Kitty on their lips and it’s guaranteed that they’ll never get as much as a kiss, let alone anything else. In fact, I can’t think of a better male repellent and warning that dealing with such a person guarantees a life in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Stacey

What could be more Kitty like than wearing a big bow on your hand so that you can sucker punch someone who doesn’t agree with your fanaticism (with all the love and kindness that the evil feline professes, of course). I’m sure that this was created with the sole purpose to brand those who actually have a grasp of reality for life with a bow-scar across their face (with bonus points if the fanatic manages to create that scar on the left side of their forehead). There is probably the ulterior motive to make those who refuse to succumb to the HK brainwashing to suffer immeasurably more in a the worst hospital possible as they recover from the injury. It’s all part of the ongoing plan of world domination and eventual Hello Kitty hell for all that she envisions…

Sent in by Kelly P.

While these don’t exist at the moment, it’s probably a pretty safe to conclude that it won’t be that long before there truly are Hello Kitty breast implants (my guess is that the people at Sanrio are right at this very second hitting themselves on the side of the head wondering how they could have never considered coming out with a line of breast implants before now). And you know that while they may initially be regular implants with the cat-with-no-mouth branded on them, it won’t stop there. Eventually they will be made in such a way that the woman’s breast will actually take the form of Hello Kitty (because, seriously, what better way to show your love of HK than to turn your breasts into the shape of her?) This will undoubtedly make the fanatic deliriously happy, but will haunt any person who sees it with sweat-inducing nightmares for the rest of their life (and probably require decades of intense mental therapy that still won’t be able to get that image out of their head). And, the truly horrifying thing is that once this happens, somehow it will continue to get worse from there…

Sent in by Betty

I’m not sure if there is anything that would make the average person want to shave the entire head of a little girl more than seeing this (and her mom’s head for good measure for encouraging her to have this done). Let’s all hope, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, that this doesn’t become a trend…

Sent in by Deede via Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care

When your significant other thinks it’s a good idea to pack a half-dozen of these in your lunch to “brighten up your day,” what she is really doing is setting off a hurricane level warning siren that if you don’t get out of the relationship that very second, your life is going to be a torrential rain storm full of Hello Kitty Hellishness…

Sent in by Dawn (via Denna’s Ideas)

Update: Never satisfied to do the horrific only once, there is also the Hello Kitty white chocolate strawberry:

Sent in by Allison

No future partner, friend or family member should ever have to endure such complete hideousness, but the sad fact of the matter is that this is likely just the tip of the iceberg of the Hello Kitty Hell they will see in the years to come…

Sent in by Laura

Think about it. You wake up and head off to take your morning shower. You close your eyes, lean back and place your head under the warm stream of water. Relaxed and thinking that you are ready to begin the day, you make the terrible mistake of opening your eyes to see the cat that is supposed to have no mouth vomiting water all over you. This is definitely not how anyone should begin their day.

Even worse, you know that regular water spewing all over you would not be enough. There is no doubt that the shower head was created with a specially formulated substance inside to grow pink shower slime within it. After only a few uses, you’ll have Kitty vomiting a pink slime stream onto your head each and every morning. You know you are living in Hello Kitty Hell when not showering for months on end is the positive alternative…

Sent in by a number of different readers…

Seriously, this thing exists. And while the vast majority of those of us who are sane are simply staring at it saying “wtf?” to ourselves, there are legions of fanatics drooling like Saint Bernards with a bowl full of dog biscuits in front of them. While anyone with even an ounce of common sense should have run far, far away from their significant other long before this was even suggested to be a good idea as part of a wedding, those that have a person in their life who wants to wear one of these is guaranteed to live a life of extreme Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by far too many readers…

You have to feel deep and unrelenting pity for those who know a Kitty fanatic that would do something like this since she undoubtedly opens her mouth far too often to show anyone and everyone what she has in her mouth (that fact that she insisted on photos of it inside her mouth pretty much guarantees that she will want all to know about it). if there ever was a reason for a crown to want to self-destruct, this would seem to be the perfect reason…

Sent in by Marylou who wrote, “When I went to my dentist to have my temporary dental crown replaced with the permanent one, he had a surprise for me. He knows I’m a Hello Kitty fan so he had the feline’s picture put on the inside of the crown. I love it!”

The show is being produced for The Hub which will follow four Hello Kitty characters who are out to live the rockstar dream (we know, that food that you just consumed is making its way back up — we’re sorry…) Supposedly Gene Simmons will be acting as the executive producer for the show, further ensuring that this will be something that you can’t unsee no matter how much you want to. My advice is to start looking for a cave to make you home, because living in a cave would be a lot less difficult than having to live with your mind after seeing something like this…

Sent in by far too many people via usatoday