Hello Owl

Where there is light.

2013-05-09T13:24:05Z

Luigi flew to Queensland this morning to visit his doctor. Our lives have been so crazy the last few months with having a new baby, moving across the country and starting a new job that our old life that we left back in Queensland seems like a distant memory.

Right now life is good, there is so many changes and so much happiness in our lives. It is hard to believe that two years ago we were facing a completely different path and how close we came to losing him.

Every time he left for the hospital I would spend the day glued to my phone, always praying for the best but being prepared for the worst. Everyday I found it impossible to switch my brain off, my mind was constantly filled with worry as I asked myself over and over again would the cancer come back, would we have to do it all over again.

This time however I felt different, in fact I couldn’t remember the last time that big ugly C word reared it’s ugly head and when I bid him farewell at the airport I was not met with worry, I felt calm and relaxed and free from those horrible thoughts that controlled my mind for so long.

Not wanting to waste our new found freedom today we kept ourselves busy. The little girls and I went to the shops, did the grocery shopping and even managed a play at the park. Luigi called a few hours later to tell me that he was given the all clear.

Today, I am filled with hope and I see the light at the end of a very, very long tunnel.

Today if you ran into me on the street you would find me sporting boobs like pam, a simple blue singlet from cotton on and this beautiful skirt from emerson that was actually a freebie passed down from my sister. The outfit was tied together with a few simple accessories because I’m finding that simple is best up here. Say Hello to my emily green necklace which after twelve months is still going strong and my very stylish nappy bag which I love, love, love {more on this later} from Soon Maternity. Just checked the website and my nappy bag is actually on SALE.

Post baby fashion

2013-04-30T00:05:03Z

Isn’t post baby fashion just the most horrible thing ever. Right now I feel like I’m stuck in this big fashion vortex ripping through my wardrobe every morning and struggling to find something half decent in to make myself presentable as I race out the door.

Breastfeeding doesn’t help either, sure it’s good for baby but horrible for a fashion diva like myself, it’s so frustrating when your boobs are going up and down a cup every time the kid has a feed. Most days I throw on something baggy and unattractive to allow for growth during the day or wear something a little tighter knowing I might be at risk of exploding and ending up looking like Pam Anderson in that hot red swim suit.

AND on top of that I get the added bonus of adjusting to the weather. Which people continue to tell me is horrid for this time of the year and is the worst they have seen in years. Honestly I can deal with the heat, it doesn’t phase me at all. It’s the humidity that gets to me the most. Ten years away from the territory meant that my body had completely forgotten how intense the humidity gets up here.

I’m learning fast that less clothes is better for everyone involved. Especially when 70% of the time that we leave the house I find myself carry Abigail in the ergo.

I’m between sizes right now, my shorts are either falling off me and require a belt or a little too tight and I’m left with that teeny bit of post baby overhang sagging over my shorts, I know were keeping it sexy right here. Yesterday I purchased some new shorts. They are most definitely the shortest shorts I have ever owned but still not short enough to be trendy but any shorter and you will be getting a sneak peek of my underwear.

So tell me. What are your tricks of the trade, how did you survive the post baby fashion haze?

Better than chocolate

2013-04-16T04:32:22Z

Were not big fans of chocolate in our house, oh wait a minute..I better re-phase that. Luigi and I are not big fans of chocolate but our kids, they LOVE the stuff and can sniff it out within seconds and it’s for this very reason that it only comes into our house on special occasions like easter and cooking projects.

For Easter this year we really didn’t want to overload our kids with chocolate so we brought a sensible amount for each of the girls and then we also brought them a new pair of pajamas and as a bonus present we wanted to buy them something that would get us out of the house and they could use all year around so we brought them a yearly pass to Crocodylus Park which we used on the day. It’s just around the corner from our house and is the perfect way to keep the kids occupied for an hour or two on the weekends and over the school holiday. The kids were totally impressed with the easter bunny and we have already been three times so it’s already paid for it’s self.

Somehow our kids were still overloaded with chocolate from friends and family so I’m so glad we didn’t go over board, they most definitely had enough to keep them going for a few weeks.

It’s a tank, it’s a boat. No it’s a crocodile..

2013-04-10T12:54:13Z

It’s school holidays at the moment and thanks to an early arrival in our family my parents just so happen to be in town for the week and we happen to think that is pretty darn exciting. Today seeing as we are new to Darwin and still finding our feet we thought we would do something totally touristy and jump aboard the crocodile and experience the city with Duck About Tours.

We cruised along the streets of Darwin at a slow and steady pace of 25km p/h weaving our way through town and slowly making our way to the harbour. Before we knew it we had transformed from a tank to a boat and were floating through Darwin harbour. It was a warm day with not much of a breeze but the views of the city beside us made it all the more bearable. 90 minutes later we found ourselves back in the middle of Darwin stepping off the tank and finding our feet again.

The kids had an absolute ball and I thought it was a fabulous {and unique} way to see the city sights around Darwin and we even discovered a few things I’d totally forgot about and will be adding to our bucket list for future adventures.

Afternoon Storm

2013-03-13T12:47:58Z

Life in the territory is hot and sticky. I remember the heat growing in Katherine the heat was something you just dealt with the best you could but you never really got use to it. My friends and I spent our days going from one place to the next on our bikes, moving from one adventure to the next and it always involved water. I don’t think we would have survived without all of those pit stops to cool off and re charge our batteries.

I honest thought it would be really hard coming back to the territory and coping with the heat, it’s such a different kind of heat to Queensland and I thought the kids would struggle big time but I’m really amazed at how well they have all adapted to life in the top end. Violet is out in the yard for most of the day and come the afternoon when the kids are home from school and running wild in the front yard we are blessed with these amazing showers.

As soon as the rain start you can hear the kids {and often the neighbours} running around the yard screaming with joy or doing laps around up and down the drive way waving their umbrellas in the air. It really is a magical sight. If Violet is inside and by some chance hasn’t notice the rain I’ll actually encourage her to go outside and play on the off chance that she might come back in clean, some nights she even remains clean all the way through dinner and doesn’t require a bath that night, were all about utilising the environmentally friendly methods around here.

We purchased a trampoline for the kids last week and it’s been worth it’s weight in gold. I really had my heart set on a spring free trampoline but we thought that having one set up in the front yard might imply I have a lot of money to throw around {which I don’t}, which might give people the impression we have lots of other fancy stuff to come in and steal so we went with a much simpler, cheaper option from our local k-mart.

I love pulling a chair up to the front of the house after the rain has settled and taking Abigail outside. I love to watch the kids running around like crazy people their faces filled with these gigantic big smiles, loving every minute of the journey.

Life is good.

2013-03-06T12:34:36Z

I have sat down to write this post over two weeks ago now and since then I sit down almost daily and attempt to start again, to insert a photograph or add a few words but somehow life seems to throw something at me and the post never gets published. I guess that’s the way things are going to be from now on. We have been in the territory almost a month now and officially in our house two whole weeks. Life is busy and exciting and chaotic. I still sit here surrounded by boxes but slowly as the days go by I’m starting to see that the walls are in fact not made out of cardboard but deep within the boxes they are painted blue, who would have thought.

The kids are absolutely loving life in the territory. It’s hot and it’s sticky most of the time but honestly they don’t care. Violet spends her days pottering around the outside of the house, sticking mostly to the shade and water play..occasionally venturing inside for a snack and when the kids come home as soon as it’s cool enough they are out the front racing down the driveway and working their pelvic floor muscles on the trampoline.

We have been hanging out with family a lot since we arrived {from both sides} enjoying family get togethers, dinners out and just re-connecting again after so much time apart. Last weekend my parents flew in on their way to their new jobs, they have taken a six month stint in Gove which is just a handy 1 1/2 hour flight from here. This of course means weekend visits and free time for me.

The past few weeks has really confirmed for us just how much we needed to make this move and how right it was not just for Luigi and I but for our family. Seeing the kids play and laugh with our family and friends as well as really making an effort and getting into school and after school activities has just confirmed that we are in the right place and this is exactly where we need and want to be.

My husband bought a house.

2013-02-25T11:58:38Z

Just a matter of weeks ago my husband and I were sitting on the couch watching something mindless on tv. Myself heavily pregnant and him searching real estate listing on his iPad. We had looked and renting and rent was hideously expensive, like $700-$800 a week expensive and he turned to me and said “Screw paying somebody else’s mortgage, I’m going to buy a house”. I didn’t move from my position on the couch and just said “Yeah right, just make sure it has air conditioning and a pool”.

Over the next few days he would point the ipad in my direction and say what about this one, or this one or this one and I would look and tell him what I thought and then he would move onto the next. Sometimes showing me the houses two or three times just to see if I changed my opinion on the matter a few minutes later.

One day he showed me this doozy of a property on the north side of town. Brick house, big back yard, a hideous black kitchen, a teeny little bathroom and black just everywhere..the windows, the floor, the railings about the windows. It was seriously scary. The price wasn’t bad and the area was where we wanted to be but we could have afforded to spend more and buy something that didn’t require any work at all but it would have meant more money out of our pockets at the end of the week.

I could see the clogs ticking in his little head and the next few days he worked like a busy bee behind the scenes to get everything lined up in a row. He spoke to our bank manager and our solicitor and then then real estate company and a then one night he came home and said “I put an offer in on that house and it was accepted”. I made a smart remark and went back to my tv show. I totally didn’t believe him until the paper work showed up in the mail a few days later.

I saw the house for the first time when I arrived in Darwin and Luigi saw it a week after me. I still thought it was ugly but it wasn’t ask scary as I imagined and it had good bones and definitely has a lot of potential. All of the changes are simple cosmetic changes, some that can be done straight away like painting walls and adding heavy curtains to allow for sleep ins on the weekend and some that will happen over time once we’ve had the time to settle in and really get a feel for the place.

We officially moved in on Friday and I now sit here surrounded by boxes. This is the last time I ever intend to be unpacking boxes ever again. It’s going to take a while for us to pull this place together and make it into what we want it to be as it’s seriously lacking storage and the first thing on the list is a massive man shed in the back yard. It does however look a lot less ugly with all of our stuff inside, boxes and all..my husband may have brought this house but together we are going to make it a home.

Surviving life with a whole lot of kids

2013-02-16T10:42:50Z

Abigail is officially eighteen days old. Seriously how did that happen it feels like just yesterday we were walking down that long hallway and leaving the hospital. We have crammed so much into that seventeen days that I’m not exactly sure how were still in one piece but more on that later. So today because I’ve been a mother of four for a whole seventeen days I thought I would share a few small words of wisdom on how to survive life with a whole lot of kids.

Be prepared:

Make sure you are ready for any situation by packing a bag before you leave the house. It’s a good idea to re-pack it when you return home just in case you need to go out again in a hurry. Be prepared for blow outs, hot weather, air conditioning, that impulse trip to the water park and anything else you might encounter on a regular day.

Arrive early:

This has been huge for us, the kids finish school at 2:45 and each day we have been travelling 30 minutes each way, sometimes 40 minutes in the morning so most afternoons you will find us hanging out in the car park from as early as 2:15. The little girls often fall asleep on the way and that leaves more time for ME! When we are settled in our new house we will only be 5 minutes drive from school so the commute won’t be such a big deal and we won’t need to leave so early but will still need to be there early to score ourselves a car park.

Food:

Arriving early means keeping kids entertained if they are not asleep. Usually I would turn on the tv and let Violet watch a movie but this week we have had to be super clever and think ahead, Violet is in serious denial about not having a tv in the rental car. With all of the changes the past few days Violet has been a little moody so I like to make sure I’m on top of things when it comes to snacks. Violet will have a snack when she gets in the car after school drop off and I will keep another in my bag for a mid morning snack and another one for all of the girls when we pick them up from school. Violet is big on fruit so I always make sure I have a few apples floating around my bag and some ice cold water.

Transportation:

I have multiple forms of kid wrangling, baby carrying equipment in the back of my car. These include a double pram, sling and a hug a bub. I never know what kind of mood Violet is going to be in when it comes time to leave the car. At school drop off I will have Abigail in the sling 99% of the time and let Violet walk beside me. This way is definitely slower and it’s sometimes a pain in the bum but she likes to explore and it gives her a chance to burn off some steam. When we are going to the shops there is no other option but the pram. I’d much rather have the security of the pram and have her strapped in then have to deal with a toddler tantrum in the middle of the shopping centre.

Priorities:

This week I’ve been asking myself the question: Do I really need to go in there? a lot. A few weeks ago this wouldn’t have been such a big issue but in these early weeks with a new baby and a new city it is definitely on my mind more. A few weeks ago if i needed a loaf of bread I would have pulled up at the store, turned the tv on for Violet and run inside to get my loaf of bread. Now were in civilisation this simple task requires me to take up to four kids out of the car and take them all inside. Why has somebody not invented a drive through service for bread & milk, seriously..get to it people! Its for this exact reason that I have avoided going to JB Hi Fi and buying a new charger for my phone. Who on earth would take four kids in there?

and last but not least..

Don’t stress:

If life gets you down, if the kids are screaming in the back and you feel like your head is going to explode or the baby has just exploded for the 27th time today. Don’t stress, take a deep breath and leave the room for a minute or two and find your calm again. If your out and about pull into the closest fast food joint you can find and order yourself a hamburger to devour in the car park. I usually opt for a coke in these situations and I’m not saying you should go out and do this as an everyday activity but once or twice a week is totally ok in my books.

So there you have it folks. Just a few things I have learnt along the way in my short time as a mother of four. I’m sure I’ll learn a few more along the way but that’s all part of the adventure.

1/12 + 2/12

2013-02-15T00:00:45Z

Last month I set myself five simple goals for 2013. Smart, sensible goals that I knew I could easily achieve.

One of them and probably the most important of them all was to capture one photo of my family, six people standing together, looking at the camera once a month for twelve months. It sounds simple, right? If only it was.

So tonight I bring you the first instalment of many. I can just tell this is going to be a whole lot of fun.

January:
It had been raining for days. I was in my last days and of pregnancy and the end of the month was fast approaching I didn’t think this shot was going to happen. A large portion of Queensland was flooding including areas around us. We threw the kids in the car and set off to find a nice spot for a family photo each time being met with flooded creeks, messy paddocks and life stock. After almost giving up we pulled up in a paddock on the way home. It was muddy, it was extremely windy and the kids were not willing to co-operate. I set the tripod up, handed the remote for the camera to Josceline and hoped for the best. It’s not the perfect family photo but it just makes me love it even more.

February:
We were on our last weekend escape in Queensland having packed up the house the day before. We were on our way to dinner at the rum bar in Airlie Beach it was truly amazing. Riding up to room we barely fit in the roof. Luigi and Violet played games while the big kids enjoyed a treat from cold rock.

Abigail’s Story

2013-02-05T22:45:18Z

It’s late and I should be in bed but I wanted to write this down before I forget. Just 6 days later and I’ve already forgotten so much.This journey feels so surreal. Almost like it never happened.

On Tuesday afternoon after repacking my hospital bag a million times we dropped by the pool and said goodbye to the kids and made our way to town to prepare for the arrival of baby number four.

We checked into our hotel, showered and put on fancy clothes and walked hand in hand to dinner just down the road. We indulged fine food and coca cola, we soaked up the alone time and enjoyed what might be our very last night out, just the two of us for a very long time. After dinner we walked back to our hotel, changed into our pyjamas, crawled into bed and turned on the tv not having a clue what tomorrow would bring.

I knew I needed a good nights sleep so I went to bed early but at 3am dispute my best efforts I was wide awake. I lay there in bed for ages waiting for sleep to come but it never did so when the sun came up I pulled myself out of bed and made sure everything was ready for our trip to the hospital.

We skipped breakfast and arrived on the ward to check in at 7am just as we had been told earlier that week, being cheeky and asking the midwives where we check in for the day.

We’d never done this before and didn’t know what to expect. We’d been told I would have a check up and they would insert the gel and would most likely send us away..instead they decided I should have my waters broken and the drip started shortly after. It was done before I knew it had even happened and I guess you could say the show was well and truly on the road.

Breakfast was ordered and I joked about how I wanted an epidural on the side and it was all a waiting game from then on in. The nurse said she was more then happy to give me an epi with breakfast but I said I was happy to wait, I’d never had one before and wasn’t sure if I would need it now, I just wanted to make sure it was an option from the get go.

She stood there in front of me and said the only thing about having an epidural is I don’t want you to ask for it and say I wish I didn’t have an epidural. I laughed and said trust me if I’m I’m actually asking for an epidural and I don’t make it in time the old thing ill be saying is I wish I asked for it sooner.

Things were pretty boring throughout the morning. I was having contractions but they weren’t what I would call painful. I remember the nurse standing there asking me if it hurt and I simply said not really and she looked a little shocked. But to me this was totally normal.

Luigi sat in the corner playing games on his phone, occasionally taking calls for work and I caught up on an episode of greys anatomy, I had barely finished the episode but I was physically exhausted and knew I needed rest. I didn’t want to risk having an attack from my menieres and bringing on a dizzy spell.

So in between contractions I caught up on as much sleep as I could hoping it would be enough to keep it at bay. Eventually the pain got worse and Luigi must have spotted it too because there he was by my side. We discussed my options and I decided to try the morphine. Luigi said it gave you an amazing feeling but while I found it took the edge off the pain it didn’t do what I needed it to do. Later on I tried the gas and while the gas helped me to regulate my breathing the pain was quite intense and it wasn’t doing enough.

By this time even though I was doing my best to rest I was exhausted and the dizziness and the titinus in my ears had set in. I was able to control the dizziness eventually but my hearing was shot and it felt like a smoke alarm was going off in my head.

The nurse was right in front of me talking and I couldn’t hear a thing. I asked Luigi for my phone and started typing. I couldn’t focus on an attack and give birth at the same time, it just wasn’t possible. I managed to get out that I need something more for the pain, I wanted an epidural.

So they did. The anaesthesiologist was there before I knew it. The pain was intense but the dizziness bothered me more and all I wanted to do was close my eyes and wash it away so that’s what I did. Luigi held me in place while they worked their magic.

I remember it was just before lunch and Luigi was by my side and the rest all seems like a big fuzzy dream. The epidural did what I wanted it to do, it allowed me to rest.I would wake up occasionally in a little pain and see Luigi there by my side holding my hand or rubbing my back. I remember waking up once and he wasn’t there but it was only for a second, it was late and they must have ordered him out to find food other then that he never left my side, he did an amazing job and I couldn’t have done it without him.

Before I knew it. Luigi was there in front of me telling me it was time to push. I could feel the sensation but didn’t feel I had the energy to push so every time a contraction hit he would be there telling me it was time, urging me on. I remember lying there thinking I don’t feel a single bit of pain, why have I never done this before, what an idiot you are Danielle, you should have done this years ago when you first started having children.

Before I knew it they were placing a baby on my chest. It honestly didn’t feel real. I looked at Luigi and said is it really a girl and he smiled and said it sure is. He had the biggest grin on his face I knew she was going to break his heart over and over again. We named her Abigail Grace, she weighed in at 9.1 and was just perfect.

After everything was done I was suddenly starving and realised I hadn’t eaten since breakfast so the nurses brought me food and I requested ice, lots and lots of ice. Eventually my ears stopped ringing and the dizziness had stopped completely and I was given the all clear so I handed her over to rest.

Later that night we were moved to the ward and after kicking Luigi out the door and sending me home to rest Abigail was taken to the special care unit and I was instructed to rest. She was brought into me later that night for a feed and then I didn’t see her again until the next morning.

I didn’t lose any blood or require stitches but my iron was extremely low which explains why the combination of the morphine and epidural knocked me out and allowed me to rest between contractions.

It’s so hard to compare her labour to the others. They have all been so very different. You here so many horror stories about being induced but despite me having an attack due to my menieres I actually can not fault Abigail’s labour. It’s probably not a path I would have chosen for myself but this time around medically it was the perfect step and one I do not regret.

Almost a week in and Abigail is doing brilliantly. Just like her sisters she sleeps, she eats and she is the perfect addition to our family. Dispite all of the chaos going on around us we still find ourselves stuck in the baby bubble and I don’t think the magic is going to wear off any time soon.

the support we have received throughout this pregnancy and now early into the baby days and beyond has been amazing. Not only from people in our own lives but people we have never met through social media and other walks of life. There is seriously no way I can put into words just how much the support from every single person who reads this blog has meant. So all I can do is say Thank You, it’s been a blast and I hope you stick around for the next part of the adventure