Usually, when you have routs, you have inherent Good and Ugly in the same game. This week of routs was no different. With so many teams having the game in hand during the coin toss and so many others executing like Wile E. Coyote (only less creatively), it takes something special to stand out. The nominees below did.

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The Good
Arizona – If the Cardinals continue to play as they have the past two weeks, they should put the “Super Bowl losers” curse to bed. Their defense has been strong the last two games, and it kept them in this match with the Giants while the Arizona offense sputtered in the first half. That the Cards’ defense has put together solid outings in two straight road games is saying something for this franchise that seems to have had road woes for most of its history. Luckily, for Arizona, the offense didn’t waste the defense’s four forced turnover effort. While it was mostly ineffective in the first half, the Cards’ O-line got it together in the second half, giving Kurt Warner time to hit his receivers and pick apart the Giants’ defense (in the first half, Warner was 13 of 24 for 150 yards and a pick… in the second, he was 7 of 12 for 81 yards and 2 TDs). Not many people expected Arizona to go on the road and beat a team that had handled them in their own house last season, myself included, but Arizona just served notice to the NFC West (and just maybe the rest of the NFC) that they don’t plan to give up their division title without a fight.

Cincinnati – This was going to be the week. After losing to the Texans, the real Bengals were going to show up. Maybe they did. On top of Carson Palmer’s nearly perfect day, Cincy added 215 yards on the ground, 189 beneath the feet of Cedric Benson and three picks on defense. They scored on all five first half possessions to take a 31-3 lead into the half and then scored on their first two of the second half to conclude this rout. Had they wanted to, they could have scored on possession 8 and did not punt until possession 9 ended with :39 left. On defense, the guys with the funny helmets intercepted Cutler 3 times and kept the Bears from getting any sort of momentum. The Bengals actually put on a Good clinic.

Dallas – This was close. Which was more notable, Dallas’ efforts or Atlanta’s futility? We’ll give the Cowboys credit for their part. Faced with a second quarter 7-3 deficit and the Falcons on the Boy 31, Dallas forced a fumble on a sack to survive that whole and then went on the move. Miles Austin and Tony Romo get props, the Dallas defense did their part and Patrick Crayton returned a punt to the promised land as that early hole eventually became a 34-14 lead and resulted in a 37-21 win. It was an important win against a team that should be in the playoff hunt later in the year.

New Orleans – They were fish in a barrel. The Dolphins had them by the short and curlies. Brees was throwing it to the Fish more often than his own team. But, the Saints and Brees got redemption by an unbelievable comeback. 38 points in the second half was very impressive.

New York Jets – We aren’t exactly sure how you rush for over 300 yards against a defense that has shown twinges of brilliance. The Jets may not know, either, but they did against the Raiders. Shonn Green and Thomas Jones both clocked out with over 100 yards on the ground and the team average was just shy of six yards a carry. If you want to take the heat off a young QB who has struggled recently, this was the formula. It didn’t hurt that the defense pitched a shutout and the Raiders turned the ball over four times.

The Bad
Atlanta – The Falcons weren’t horrible, but they weren’t Good, either. Our major problem with them this week is the Cowboys have exactly two receivers for defenses to concern themselves with, and they aren’t both Wrs. Miles Austin and Jason Witten are the major weapons, both in terms of explosiveness and consistency. Atlanta didn’t do much to stop either of them. This is a game the Falcons jumped in front early and could have put some distance between them and the Cowboys. But marching toward the red zone with a chance to extend their 7-3 lead, a Ryan sack/fumble was followed up by a “curious” coverage on Miles Austin which resulted instead in a 10-7 deficit. After allowing a TD pass in the dying seconds of the first half to make matters worse, the Falcons put up a whimper of protest before taking the rest of the game off. Losing to Dallas at home is not Bad by itself. Squandering opportunities and then cratering is.

Carolina – The only things that saves this team from Ugly is they put a defensive whammy on the Bills, to the tune of 167 yards. They held the Buffalo running game to 1.8 yards a carry over 30 carries. The Panther offense racked up 425 yards and held the ball for over 9 minutes more than Buffalo. What saved them from the Good is none of that means anything when your QB tosses up interceptions that lead to 14 points on opponent drives of 7 and 27 yards. That gets compounded when the coach continues to call passing plays knowing said QB is an interception factory, to the tune of 46 pass plays to 25 rushes in a game that was within one score until early in the fourth quarter. Add two missed FGs and you have a full-blown, head scratching fiasco. They did enough right to avoid Ugly, but a couple of prominent people make them Bad.

Minnesota – Not running the ball on second and third and one for the TD. When you have the best RB in the league, run the damn ball. The refs in this game also get a vote for the bad category for that tripping call. Is it just me or has the refereeing been particularly bad this year?

The Ugly
Tampa Bay, St. Louis, Kansas City, Oakland and Cleveland could form their own universe of suckage. It’s like the Wheel of MISfortune. Spin the wheel and no matter where it lands, Vanna White is going to turn over the word ugly. Maybe one of them can jump up to ‘Bad’ on their bye week. On another note, the NFL needs to contain its ‘Uglies’ to one continent instead of spreading it internationally. I’m sure the Queen is none too pleased to have her country exposed to the Buccaneer Flu even with a side dish of Hunky McFabulous.

Speaking of St. Louis – We know, we already mentioned them in the group Ugly. But, hey, this team is worth more. What more needs to be said? We may just want to change the name of this category to “Ugly, brought to you by the St. Louis Rams.” Rebuilding is never pretty, but the building blocks are few and far between for this Rams team. They need to trade Steven Jackson while he still has value and try to build around the few solid defensive players they have. The Rams have now lost 17 games in a row, dating back to last season, and have the league’s worst point differential (-151, 37 points worse than the Raiders). The Rams are averaging 8.5 points of offense per game (though it’s actually less than that… 7 of their season total 60 points came on an interception return). They’re giving up over 25 points per game (if not for the 5 defensive TDs scored against St. Louis, this would be just over 30 points per game). Last season, the Rams looked horrible, but put together a couple of surprising wins against Washington and Dallas in the middle of the season. Don’t count on a repeat performance this year… there look to be only 3 possible wins left on St. Louis’ schedule, and even those will require a lot of luck and a level of execution not demonstrated by the Rams this season (two road games against Detroit and Tennessee, and a home game versus Seattle - to whom the Rams have lost 9 straight). Look on the bright side, Coach Spagnuolo… you’ll probably get just about any player you want in the 2010 draft.

Honorable Mention
Green Bay, Indianapolis, New England, San Diego - Unfortunately, the field was crowded, they should have kicked some arse and they did. Their opponents were in the cluster of Ugly not even worthy of individual mention above (except for the Rams who are particularly notorious).

Individual Honors ….
Miles Austin – Again. 6 catches, 171 yards and TDs of 59 and 22 yards.
Cedric Benson – 37 carries, 189 yards, 1 TD and a 5.1 average. Oh, and the TD run brought down his average (1 yard run).
Carson Palmer – 20 of 24 for 233 yards and 5 TDs. That’s a 146.7 QB rating in a 45-10 rout against a non-dreg.
Aaron Rodgers – 15 of 20 for 246 and 3 TDs. His numbers could have been bigger if needed, but this was quite worthy of note.
Tony Romo – This is an up week for him. 21 of 29 for 311 yards and 3 TDs in a game the Cowboys needed to win or regret later.
Alex Smith – He entered the game in the second half with the 49ers down 21-0 and went 15 of 22 for 206 yards, 3 TDs and 1 intereception. They didn’t pull it out, but they could have well been Ugly if not for the spark Smith provided.
The Steelers Linebackers – These guys played a helluva game, pestered Favre all day (recording 3 sacks) and scored 14 fourth quarter points to boot.

And Dishonors
Brad Childress – Uh, run the ball and good things will happen. The Vikings really have a one-step program to win….establish the run, even if it is difficult. Childress failed the one-step program this week.
Jake Delhomme – He throws interceptions in his front yard while pitching the football through a tire hanging from a tree. 27 of 44 for 325 yards is about an 84 QB rating with 0 TDs and 0 picks. It falls to a whopping 55.6 with his 3 picks, which is about equal to his season rating!
John Faux – Just keep trotting Delhomme out there,you imbecile. Just keep trotting him out there.
Josh Johnson – His bio says he is from Oakland. He is probably reminding Buc fans a little of Jamarcus Russell.
Jeff Reed – He had a couple of field goals and three extra points, but put on a tackling display that reminded us old guys of the passing display Garo Yepremian showed in Super Bowl VII. Instead of lining up with good field position facing a 10-point deficit, Reed’s effort allowed the Vikings to line up for an extra point only down by 4. Don’t worry, Jeff, they aren’t likely to flag a kicker for a personal foul unless it is a facemask or horse collar!
Jamarcus Russell – Johnson may make his case in Tampa, but JR is the real deal. 2 interceptions in only 11 passes before taking a seat.

Denver – They keep making the good list because, well they’re good. This was a statement win for them. Everyone kept saying they would “show their true colors” when the schedule got harder but they have just beaten the Pats and Chargers in consecutive weeks. The offense is efficient and the defense is playing great. Throw in some special teams magic by Eddie Royal and they stay undefeated.

Green Bay – The Packers earn a spot on the good list this week by totally destroying a bad team and divisional foe, the Detroit Lions. The Pack dominated every statistical category with the exception of penalties as they cake walked their way to a 26-0 victory.

New Orleans – The Saints had something to prove against the Giants, and had a week off to figure out how. We’d say the used it wisely. Offensively, the Saints racked up nearly 500 yards against a normally stout defense. Brees threw for 369 yards and 4 TDs in a 23 for 30 effort. They scored early and often, striking pay dirt five times in six first half possessions and being stopped on downs at the Giant 1 once. By games end, they controlled 36 minutes of clock. The Saints defense benefited from the success of the offense, largely keeping the Giants out of their usual game plan of grinding away. This was a Good game against a normally good team.

Oakland – “I thought they coached better and I thought they played better,” is what Andy Reid had to say about the Raiders after the Eagles were beat in Oakland 13-9. There’s probably some truth to the thought that the Eagles chalked this game up as a win weeks ago, and they expected to roll easily over the most feeble offense in the league. However, the tenacious and relentless assault of the Oakland Defense upon Philly can’t be dismissed. Philly was forced to practically abandon their run game, attempting only 14 runs. Oakland came at McNabb with blitz after blitz, sacking him 6 times. Because of the pressure, he wasn’t able to exploit the advantage DeSean Jackson had while being covered by Chris Johnson. That right there was the key to the Oakland victory. With this loss, Philly becomes the first team in the last three years unable to score a touchdown against Oakland. Then, to truly confuse the Eagles and their defensive squad, JaMarcus Russell decided it was time to show up and earn his paycheck. Rookie WR Louis Murphy’s blocking allowed Zack Miller to turn a 16 yard pickup into the longest touchdown play for the Raiders over the last 25 years. Murphy escorted Miller down field, delivering two key blocks that let Miller score virtually untouched. Russell still handed two INTs over, but his overall performance was a shock to anyone who witnessed it; 17/28 for 224yard. Those numbers aren’t going to win the hearts of fantasy fans, but Raider fans no longer want to salvage their Sundays with a fantasy win. This is just what Oakland needed, and if they can ride this momentum, the Oakland Defense, led by Richard Seymour, Kirk Morrison and Nnamdi Asomugha, are in prime position to exploit rookie QB Sanchez.

The Bad
Chicago – In a game that the Bears could have won, red zone turnovers were the team’s Achilles heel as Cutler threw an INT from the 9 yard line and Matt Forte coughed the ball up on consecutive plays; one of which Forte seemingly gobbled up in his butt crack. The red zone numbers for the two teams’ QB’s told the story as Cutler was 2-9 for 10 yds with a TD and an INT, while Ryan was 4-5 for 35 yds a TD and no INT’s.

Cleveland – The Browns continue to struggle on both sides of the ball and kept the game closer than it was on a Josh Cribbs kickoff return for a TD. Derek Anderson continued to struggle as the Browns couldn’t to stop the Steelers offense in a game that the score could have been much worse than the 27-14 final. In fact, the only thing that really stopped the Steelers offense were 4 turnovers that were mostly self-inflicted.

Detroit – Since they’re without Matt Stafford and Calvin Johnson, we’ll keep them off the Ugly this week but they were anemic on offense, gaining a measly 149 total yards and turning the ball over three times.

New York Giants – Losing in Nawlins to the Saints these days is not a cause for great concern. The relative ease in which the Saints offense controlled things is. The Giants D simply had no answer for the Saints in the first half. Even when they did seem to preserve some order with a goal line stand that would have kept it a 10 point game at halftime, the Gents shot themselves in the foot with a turnover and ensuing TD, making it a less salvageable halftime deficit. New York was only marginally better in the second half, possibly due to the Saints lack of interest by that point.

New York Jets – This week’s game against the Bills may be the one that gets pointed to when the question is asked, “Where did things go wrong,” if the playoffs come and New York finds itself on the outside looking in

Thomas Jones and Leon Washington hammered Buffalo for 309 yards on the ground, but 5 Mark Sanchez interceptions kept the Bills in the game. Sanchez looked like a rookie, forcing balls into coverage and making several poor decisions. This game should have been a blowout win for New York, but they squandered too many opportunities and simply refused to put Buffalo down. In the end, Buffalo managed to move the ball 29 yards in overtime and win on a 47-yard Lindell field goal.

Philadelphia – Losing to some teams will automatically land you in the Bad or Ugly. The Eagles put themselves here beyond that. It is a tired old song, although it is making its 2009 debut. Establish the run. When the Eagles do, they give themselves a chance to win. When they get pass happy, they almost assure themselves a loss. Against the Raiders, McNabb dropped back to pass 53 times. Six of those resulted in sacks, one more in a scramble for positive yards. By contrast, they ran the ball 13 times by design (not counting the scramble). Sure, they did a lot else wrong, missing a pair of FGs and taking a sack that knocked them out of FG range, but much of that stems from the brilliant strategy to forgo the run. Andy, you ignorant slut, RUN THE BALL.

The Ugly
Seattle – See the Arizona write-up. They managed only 14 yards on the ground, which might seem justified when they dug themselves a 17-0 hole after running only three offensive plays in the first 16:30. Still, it might have been advisable to keep the defense off the field to get some rest from the initial onslaught. While the defense actually played decently after the initial 14-0 barrage from the Cardinals, the defensive gameplan was atrocious. Seattle decided to put more people in coverage, often taking impact rookie Aaron Curry off the field when the Cards went to their 3-wide and 4-wide sets. The problem with that is that Seattle’s corners are no match for Arizona’s excellent receivers… putting more of them on the field doesn’t fix that problem. The Seahawks rarely blitzed and failed to get pressure on Warner. Hasselbeck had a rough time of it, being pressured constantly, sacked five times and completing only 10 of 29 passes. Offensively, this team goes as Matt Hasselbeck goes, but the 4th string linemen playing LT and LG were unable to give Hasselbeck enough protection to generate any offense at all. When your biggest offensive play is a fake punt, you know that things are ugly.

Tennessee – This game is the one all future ugly games will be judged against. Oh. My. God. It’s hard to believe this is largely the same team that finished 13-3 last season. They may well have played the worst 15 minutes in the history of professional football in the second quarter of Sunday’s game against New England. It seemed as though every time they touched the football, it squirted out of their hands and into the arms of an awaiting Patriot.

New England scored five touchdowns in the quarter, and the snow-covered field was a bigger hindrance than the Titans defenders. Tom Brady was deadly accurate, completing 85% of his throws, but he didn’t need to be, as his receivers rarely had a defensive back within 3 yards.

Offensively, Tennessee quarterback Kerry Collins completed just two of 12 passes for -7 yards. That is not a typo, Collins threw for negative yardage. Add Vince Young’s stats into the mix, and the Patriots secondary caught as many passes from the Titans quarterbacks as the Titans receivers did.

If you weren’t a Patriots fan, this game held only the morbid fascination of one of the many “Saw” films.

Washington – To the naked eye they had an listless offensive day, posting 265 yards. But when their three longest plays are pulled out of that total, you get a sloth-like 120 yards on the remaining 50 plays. The chain gang moved only seven times during the 23 minutes the Skins had the ball. Viagra can’t help that level of impotence. They tried pulling Campbell in favor of Collins which produced nothing. All of this against the Chiefs. The defense did not play badly, but unless they were going to also tackle the job of putting up points, any defensive effort would be wasted. In response, Sherman Lewis will be calling offensive plays rather than Zorn, which could be a precursor of things to come. We are unable to confirm the rumor that Lewis’ first effort will be to design a punt play from the wildcat formation. Things are pitchfork and rope Ugly in DC.

Honorable Mention
New England – The perhaps should be listed in the good, but we are so overwhelmed by just how Ugly the Titans played, we didn’t have enough energy. In the end, we decided not to bother with “good” coming out of Pats/Titans. As good as Brady was, the story of the day was how staggeringly dreadful the Titans were. The Pats backup QB, one Brian Hoyer, completed 9 of 11 passes himself. The game was uproarious fun if you were a Patriots fan, unwatchable if you weren’t. Unless you are into watching natural disasters and human suffering!

Individual Honors ….
Tom Brady – He will once recount to his grand kids how he walked uphill to work in the snow, went 29 for 34 for 380 yards and 6 TDs (5 in the second quarter alone), only played about 35 minutes, then walked home uphill again. They will not believe him.
Drew Brees – He played like, well, Drew Brees. 23 of 30 for 369 yards and 4 TDs against a normally sound defense.
Brett Favre – a model of efficiency going 21-29 for 278 yds and 3 TD’s.
Joe Flaco – 28-43 for 385 yds and 2 TD’s and put together the potential game winning drive. He thew for 196 yds and 2 TD’s in the 4th quarter alone and nearly carried his team to the victory.
Louis Murphy – OK Stooge, you’ve gone and lost your mind, this is a guy that isn’t even on the stat sheet for the Raiders/Eagles game. True,but he should be. In a game that featured one TD, and 86 yard Russell-Zach Miller hookup (with about 70 YAC), Louis Murphy is the WR who threw not one but two huge blocks along the way. Murphy was Miller’s lone escort and threw his first block at the Eagle 45, stayed on his feet, turned on the afterburners and threw another block at about the 15.
Ray Rice – He was the go to guy on the ground and in the air for the Ravens offense with 10 receptions for 117 yds and 10 carries for 77 yds and a 2 TDs.
Sydney Rice – was the big play man with 6 catches for 176 yds for the Vikes..
Aaron Rodgers – 29-37 for 358 yds 2 TD’s and 1 INT for the Pack.
Ben Roethlisberger – 23-35 for 417 yds 2 TD’s and 1 INT.
Hines Ward – 8-159 and a TD

Denver – They look like the Patriots of the early 2000’s. Yes, it’s still early but their defense has completely shut down Dallas and New England in consecutive weeks in the second halves. Orton is being smart with the ball, not turning it over, and getting it to play makers like Marshall at the right time. They pulled out a huge win despite making some boneheaded mistakes on special teams and allowing Brady and the Pats second and third chances that they used to always capitalize on. The fist pumps after the win show that Hoodie Jr. didn’t take all of Hoodie Sr.’s sullen demeanor traits with him.

Indianapolis – The Colts pretty much had their way with a divisional nemesis. They outgained the Titans by 122 yards, 11 first downs and 7 minutes of possession time without running the ball effectively. Some of this was due to the Titans being Bad, but still, for Indy to have a relative cakewalk in Tennessee is Good.

Miami – If it is possible for a week 5 game to be “do or die” this was it for the Phins and they came up big. Ultimately, it was the offense that answered the bell for this one, especially in the second half. They rang up 431 yards, showed a commitment to the run and Chad Henne distinguished himself by completing 20 of 26 attempts, a pair of TDs and over 240 yards. The Phins used the wildcat to their advantage throughout the game. This was a back and forth contest that turned into a fourth quarter shootout and came down to a Dolphin TD in the final 10 seconds.

Minnesota – So, can Brett the Great drive his ship to new lands, to fight the horde, singing and crying, Valhalla… Ah aha ha ah ah! Overall total effort. 4 for 4 in the Red Zone, the defense scored a TD, Adrian Peterson ran for 2 TD’s, Favre threw for one and the Hammer of the Gods came down on the lowly Rams.

New York Giants – They played arguably the worst team in the league right now at home and did what they should have done to a bottom feeder at home. The Gents controlled every aspect of the game, with the 44-7 score being a good indicator of the domination. Other evidence of an old fashioned butt kicking is 483 total yards to 124, 220 yard rushing, allowing 64 net passing yards (including 6 sacks), a 12:00 TOP advantage and recovering 3 fumbles. Eli’s effort will be mentioned later.

Seattle – The Seahawks found themselves playing a Jacksonville team that had played beyond expectations and was on a mini-roll. They traded jabs with the Jags for about 18 minutes. From there, the rout was on. The Hawks scored 17 points on three consecutive drives to extend a 3-0 lead to 20-0 by halftime. It was over by then and got worse in the second half, as Seattle turned two Jag fumbles into 14 points, the crown jewel being a 79-yard fumble return. Hasselbeck had a great day, throwing 4 TD passes and amassing 241 yards on only 30 attempts and 18 completions. The defense contributed by holding Jacksonville to under 200 yards and allowing them to penetrate the 10 yard line only twice: stopping them on downs at the 2 on the first and generating the 79-yard fumble return TD on the second. Very Good day in the Pacific Northwest.

The Bad
Dallas – No, they weren’t pathetic. They wind up here for the seam reason Minnesota, the Giants and Seattle wind up in the good, only in reverse. On the bright side, they rang up almost 500 yards against the hapless Chiefs. In fact, all the offensive numbers are good. Still, the needed almost half the overtime period to knock off a team that even the Raiders beat. Before their loyalists point out the game was in KC, that is where the Raider win took place. The Chiefs are bad enough that they were even wearing Dallas uniforms for this one! For all their yardage, the Cowboys were inefficient about turning them into points. They put the ball on the ground four times (losing two), missed a FG and had to scramble from a 10-point deficit to take the lead, only to give it up in the span of about 2:00. If it were not for Miles Austin, the old team from Dallas would have beaten the current one. Whereas the others use teams like the Chiefs as tools to test the scoreboard lights, the Cowboys struggle to come out with an OT win. Not so good, guys.

Tennessee – They were going into the game 0-4 and it was almost as if they had shut down for the season. Where was the creativity of Fisher? Where were the surprise plays? Not even a wildcat formation to capitalize on a weakness of the Colts defense that had been horribly exposed a couple weeks prior? It was a very disappointing and uninspiring performance by a team that had absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain by pulling out all the stops.

The Ugly
Buffalo vs. Cleveland – It’s not standard form to nominate an entire game but we did so last week when classifying New England vs. Baltimore as Good. This week’s Cleveland Browns vs. Buffalo Bills game was just flat out ugly, in fact, we may need to call it fugly. In a game that featured just over 300 yards of offense and 4 turnovers, it’s no surprise the point total for the game was nine. As much as we wanted to put Cleveland in the Good category, the game was just too poorly played to warrant such consideration. Congrats to the Browns for not being quite as bad as the Bills today.

Denver – Oh, their play was Good. But the Denver Throwbacks were Ugly. Put them in a fire. Now.

Oakland – Sure, it was the Giants, but they could have shown up. Tom Cable probably can’t wait for his arrest.

St. Louis – They exist, therefore they are Ugly.

San Francisco – The fact that nobody died at the hands of Mike Singletary during or after the game is a miracle. We were expecting the Bay Area to have both its NFL coaches led away in cuffs this week. The 49ers broke down every way possible against the Falcons, who are not a good team to break down against. In the end, none of the individual gaffes probably meant much by themselves, but collectively they equaled an Ugly performance.

Honorable Mention
Pittsburgh – OK, so they were playing the Detroit Lions…. BUT, the Lions are starting to show some promise and if you actually watch them play, you can see some promise in the Motor City. This very well could have been a trap game for the Steelers. However, the they did what they had to do and went on the road and beat a team they had to. The offense was a perfect 3 for 3 in the Red Zone as Ben Roethlisberger went 23-30 277 3 TD 1 Int. The only gaff on the day was a Roeth pick 6, which he needs to eliminate from his otherwise stellar repertoire. The defense secured the victory with 3 straight sacks on Detroit’s last ditch attempt to tie the game for a total of 7 on the game.

Individual Honors ….
Miles Austin – If it weren’t for Austin, the Cowboys would be explaining a loss to one of the league’s doormats instead of trying to spin an OT win against the same. 10 catches, 250 yards and 2 TD’s of 59 and 60 yards (the game winner) which included about 100 YAC.

Cedric Benson – Benson became the first RB to gain 100 yards vs. the Ravens since Moses parted the Red Sea as he scampered for 120 yards and a TD on 27 carries.

Braylon Edwards – Who is this masked man? His team lost, but he showed glimpses of past glory last night.

Chad Henne - Nice way to show yourself on prime time! The numbers speak for themselves, especially when they lead to a win.

Eli Manning – Where else do you put somebody who logs a perfect QB rating? Sure, it was the Raiders, but he still had to do it.

Peyton Manning – Against a team that traditionally gives them fits, the elder Manning was 36 of 44 for 309 yards with 3 TDs and a pick. You might expect that from Peyton, but not usually in Tennessee.

Donovan McNabb – McNabb must have been humming the theme from Welcome Back, Kotter in his head all afternoon. He welcomed himself back with a huge performance, finishing 16-21 for 264 yards, no interceptions and 3 TD passes of 51, 20, 40 yards.

Ben Roethlisberger – He was the catalyst of the Steelers offense, spreading the ball around for an efficient 23-30 for 277 yds 3 TD’s and an int

And Dishonors
Dre Bly – Most of us have been called into the boss’s office for screwing something up. Singletary may call Bly to a junkyard at 1:30am for his bonehead move of celebrating a pick six while still 70 yards from the actual six and then being stripped while down 35-10. The word moron comes to mind, but we suspect Singletary will find worse.

With that in mind, here is a helping of our week 4 review. Read, digest, discuss, comment or ponder along with us over such questions essential to the universe as “what the hell is going on in Tennessee?”

The Good
Denver – This was the week Denver was supposed to fall. Instead, they beat the favored Cowboys, holding them to 10 points (the Boys had been averaging 28 points per game through week 3). The Bronco D has crept up the rankings, now sitting in the top 5, with the 3rd best passing coverage in the league. Romo was essentially shut down, throwing for no touchdowns, sacked five times and turning the ball over twice. Denver didn’t let much happen on the ground for Dallas either, allowing only 74 yards and the only Dallas TD. Orton awkwardly racked up 243 yards and 2 TDs. He’s not going to inspire shock and awe, but he’s getting the job done. Doesn’t hurt that Brandon Marshall has decided to show up and play, putting forth his best performance of the year. None of this bodes well for New England who comes to town next week. It’s quite possible Denver meets the presumed AFC Champion Chargers in week 6 with a 5-0 record.

Indianapolis – The Colts completely dominated their NFC West foe for the second straight week. Even though the Seahawks were not at full strength (will they ever get there again?), the Colts were impressive on both sides of the ball. Peyton Manning threw his fourth consecutive 300 yard game by spreading the ball around to everyone. Donald Brown and Joseph Addai both bowled over the Hawks defense for their rushing TD’s. Freeney and Mathis created havoc for Seneca Wallace and the interior D-line of Johnson & Johnson held the Seahawks run game at bay. But, not everybody on the Seahawks sideline had a horrible day. Edgerrin James had a great tribute video shown after the 3rd quarter and a lot of applause from appreciative Colts fans.

Jacksonville – While we will get to the Titans part of this later, the Jags controlled almost this entire game from the start. They racked up over 440 yard of offense, a 24-point halftime lead and then cruised to a 20-point victory in a game that should have been more challenging. Garrard completed 27 of his 37 passes including 3 Tds. The Jags averaged 6.5 yards every time they snapped the ball. The offense was rarerly incovenienced by the Titan defense, the defense was rarely inconvenienced by the Titan offense and the specials teams won their battles. The result was a big home divisional win and a slot here.

Miami – Props to Head Coach Tony Sparano in his handling of Chad Henne’s first start. Relying heavily on the ground attack of Brown & Williams who combined for 200 yards, Henne was able to operate in game manager mode and came through with flying colors. He might not have had a ton of yards, but made no mistakes, completed 14 of 22 pass attempts, and tossed a TD to boot. The Miami defense shut down the Bills running game, challenging Trent Edwards to beat them and he responded by throwing 3 picks. All around, a very good effort by a Miami team that many expected to be DOA once Pennington went on the DL.

New England/Baltimore – Yep, the entire game. Expected to be one of the marquee games of the day, New England and Baltimore didn’t disappoint. Neither team ever led by more than 10, and statistically they were close across the board. Baltimore started the game showing their mettle both on offense and defense, forcing a 3-and-out followed by a 32-yard Gostkowski field goal after the opening kickoff was fumbled and recovered by New England, then marching 81 yards in 15 plays on their opening possession, capped by a 20-yard strike to Derrick Mason from emerging star Joe Flacco. However, Baltimore would not get another offensive score until the 4th quarter, as the New England defense held firm.

The difference in this game was the second quarter, in which the Patriots had two scoring drives of 76 and 63 yards, eating up nearly 11 minutes of the clock.

New Orleans – The great hope for the rest of the likely NFC playoff field anticipating growth of the rare January NFL fleur-de-lis, was that New Orleans appeared to be a one dimensional team. However the Jets took Buffalo’s mild defensive success a step further this week containing both the Saints passing and running attacks better than anyone had up to now. The Saints responded in kind with stifling defense, allowing only one drive over 4 minutes/7 plays in length. Now as is common on this list, praise (or criticism) has to be tempered with a counter thought on oppositional strength. The Jets had not been the strongest offense in the league before this day but they’d been competent. There was little production on the ground and Sanchez got his first NFL taste of misery via the brutal 1-2 punch of the Saints secondary and pass rush which created turnovers or cold stops whenever the Jets threatened to gain any momentum

The Bad
San Diego – Elevated from the ranks of the Ugly only for the tenacity required to mount a furious comeback when many good teams would have folded (but missing the neutral cutoff since this was partially fueled by a recurrence of a disturbing Pittsburgh trend of 2nd half defensive hibernation). The offense is still potent but the defense is in utter turmoil, surrendering 500 yards and not being able to buy a stop down the stretch when the offense was scratching and clawing back into the game. Phillip Rivers was throwing all over the field trying to move the ball and keep up with the Pittsburgh scoring machine. Like the defense, the Charger running game has dried up. San Diego is in real trouble here and they need to use this upcoming bye week to shake some things up before they head to Denver. To be fair, the injury bug seems to be infatuated with the Chargers this year, mostly on the defensive side of the roster. But that doesn’t make it any prettier to watch, and if the Chargers are going to make their annual surge recovery from a slow start, they’ve got to find a way to stop the bleeding. Even if the bug shows up next week in the kitchen with an icepick in hand and the team rabbit in a pot coming to boil.

Tennessee – When you look at the stats of this game, they pretend it might have been competitive. The scoreboad tells a more correct story. The Titans mustered little offense when it mattered, the defense was a simply an object for the Jaguar offense to push aside and special teams gave up far too many substantial returns. Consider this: every Jaguar drive ended either in the Tennessee end zone or in Titan territory. Many also started there. The Titans were lucky to head into halftime only down 27-3, thanks to a late sack. Of the Jaguars offensive snaps, over twice as many were centered from the Titans side of midfield as their own. They managed to claw their way to within two touchdowns in the fourth quarter before Jacksonville put it away.

The Ugly
Buffalo – Their secondary was softened by injury, hampering their ability to exploit a still very green looking Chad Henne. But that does not excuse surrendering gobs of ground yardage to pretty much anyone who touched the ball for Miami, (5.6 ypc on 45 carries for 8 different players) including the receivers and a nifty 22 yard run by Ted Ginn to sustain an early scoring drive. On the other side, Phinfans had been nervous ever since the draft for their rookie heavy secondary and the prospect seeing so many marquee receivers early this season. T.O. was always high on the laundry list of dread but Trent Edwards quietly had about as bad a day as Mark Sanchez. In short, this was a game that a contender wins, possibly running away. Instead, the Bills got buried, as likely did any burgeoning playoff hopes sparked by a second straight promising looking start.

Kansas City – There’s some chatter about the Chiefs ability to win a game this year. Probably not fair to write them off quite yet. They’ve played 3 very good teams and the Raiders. Odds are they will crank out a win or 2, but don’t count on that for next week when they face a pissed off Dallas team. The Raiders have beaten the Chiefs in having the worst Offense in the league, but the Chiefs are threatening; and their Defense isn’t that much better. Matt Cassel never knew the shadow of Tom Brady would be so much warmer than the spotlight. He can’t turn the ball over 3 times and expect to gain the confidence of his team. The heart of this Chiefs team packed up and left for Atlanta last Spring, and nobody has stepped up to take on the role. I would be hoping for a twister and a little trip to Oz for a shopping excursion.

St. Louis – The Rams put on a clinic in self-destruction versus the resurgent 49ers, who recovered one fumble in the end zone, ran another fumble back for a second TD, and took an intercepted pass from Rams QB Kyle Boller to the house for a third. Add two TD tosses by San Francisco’s Shaun Hill, and you have the recipe for a rout. Free-falling St. Louis is being outscored over 4 to 1, and has managed a paltry 24 points in 4 games. Think about that for a second; If the Rams took every point they’ve scored so far in 2009 and applied it to this game, they would still have lost to San Francisco by 11 points. That, dear hearts, is ugly.

Honorable Mention
Minnesota – This was a tough call. The Vikings put on a solid performance against a division rival on MNF. The series that ultimately decided the game was a defensive stand in the 3rd quarter, witht he Vikings stopping the Pack three times from the one to turn the ball over on downs. Oh, and the old uniforms should become the new uniforms, too.

Pittsburgh – For three quarters they were outstanding. The fact that they wound up needing to make some plays late in the fourth to seal the deal against the Chargers puts them here and not in the Good.

Individual Honors ….
Brett Favre – 24 of 31 for 271 yards, 3 Tds and no picks on the Monday night stage against his old team and Vikings’ divisional rival certainly deserves accolades.

Ben Roethlisberger – 26 of 33 for 333 yards and a pair of Tds with no picks against a conference opponent many thought would be a real test also deserves accolades.

Rashard Mendenhall – This guy shredded the Charger run defense to the tune of 165 yards and a pair of TDs

Matt Forte - The Bears running back had 121 yards against the Lions, a nice total. He did it on only 12 carries. He ripped off a 61 yard run early, setting up a TD while the game was going back and forth, then salted it away with a 37 yard TD run.

And Dishonors
Jamarcus Russell – Just etch his name in here. The only good thing that can be said is he didn’t throw any interceptions. He also didn’t throw that many completions.

1. New York Jets (3-0) - AFC East champs. 1st seed over Broncos due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed tiebreaker.

2. Denver Broncos (3-0) - AFC West champs. 2nd seed over Colts due to the strength of victory tiebreaker.

3. Indianapolis Colts (3-0) - AFC South champs. 3rd seed over Ravens due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed tiebreaker.

4. Baltimore Ravens (3-0) - AFC North champs.

5. San Diego Chargers (2-1) - 5th seed over Patriots due to a better record in conference games.

6. New England Patriots (2-1) - 6th seed over Bengals due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed tiebreaker.

Just missed: Bengals. Cannot believe I just typed that.

NFC

1. New Orleans Saints (3-0) - NFC South champs. 1st seed over Giants due to the strength of victory tiebreaker.

2. New York Giants (3-0) - NFC East champs. 2nd seed over Vikings due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed tiebreaker.

3. Minnesota Vikings (3-0) - NFC North champs.

4. San Francisco 49ers (2-1) - NFC West champs.

5. Green Bay Packers (2-1) - 5th seed over Bears due to head-to-head victory and over Falcons due to a better record in conference games.

6. Atlanta Falcons (2-1) - 6th seed over Cowboys due to a better record in conference games.

Just missed: Cowboys, Eagles, Bears.

Top 5 Picks in the 2010 Draft

Same 5 as last week, but with a little movement.

1. St. Louis Rams (0-3) - SOS (.444)

2. Tennessee Titans (0-3) - SOS (.556)

3 (tie). Kansas City Chiefs (0-3) - SOS (.667) Coin flip with Panthers.

3 (tie). Carolina Panthers (0-3) - SOS (.667) 3rd pick over the Buccaneers due to a worse combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed. Coin flip with Chiefs.

5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-3) - SOS (.667)

Just missing the top 5: Browns, Dolphins.

The Good
Baltimore – OK, it’s time to recognize the Baltimore Ravens, even if this one-sided victory was against the woeful Cleveland Browns. Joe Flacco threw for a career high 342 yards a TD and no INT’s as the Ravens defense did what it is supposed to do and kept a bad offense out of the end zone. This was the most complete Ravens victory of the young season as both offense and defense strutted their stuff. The Ravens rushing attack combined for over 100 yards and 3 TD’s. The Ravens defense held the Browns offense to a measly 186 total yards and caused 4 turnovers. The Ravens were very good in this laugher of a game and now lead the AFCN by a game over the Cincinatti Bengals.

Cincinnati – Perseverance and patience proved crucial for the Bengals as they trailed the entire game vs. the Steelers. The Bengals capitalized on the game’s only turnover - a gift pick 6 courtesy of Ben Roethlisberger or Santonio Holmes. There appeared to be a miscommunication between QB and WR as CB Jonathan Joseph was alert and broke on the ball for the easy INT for a TD. The Benagls converted a 4th and 10 on their game winning drive as Carson Palmer moved them down the field on a 16 play 71 yard drive, which ate up all but 15 seconds of the game clock. Whodeywouldathunk the Bengals would be leading the Steelers in the AFCN by a game, even if it is only in week 3? Another positive for the Bengals is Cedric Benson who seems to be adding up to a tremendous value, making them forget about Rudi Johnson.

Denver – So I took my dog to the vet for a checkup last week. The vet told me my buddy had a great heart rate and seemed to be very agile. I told her, “And he’s 15!” She replied, ‘Don’t tell HIM that!’ I think the Broncos have the same vet. They are supposed to fall apart any week now. “A win against the Raiders? Please…. That proves nothing.” Or; “ Yep, this is all a fluke and their retreat into the AFC abyss is eventual. “ Either they are not listening to what’s supposed to happen, or this is their way of letting all the armchair experts know they’re wrong. 3-0 is a tough record to laugh at. Denver soundly shut down a festering Raiders Offense. While Orton didn’t light the air game up much, connecting on only 56% of his passes, the Buckhalter and Moreno tandem combined for 35 carries and almost 200 yards. The Denver D and run game might continue to quiet the naysayers a bit longer.

Detroit – Celebrate and rejoice Lions fans! Congratulations on finally getting off the snide. Watching this game, I was able to witness the potential of Matthew Stafford. Stafford, mostly lived up to his reputation of having a very strong arm with not so great accuracy but thanks to the Lions philosophy of max protection and relying on their talented WR’s named Johnson, The Lions kept the rookie QB off the turf. Washington continued to struggle on their defense’s inability to cause pressure and turnovers while their offense continued to struggle scoring points. The result was a well played game by the Lions in which they were able to get the lead and hold on this time.

Jacksonville – The Jaguars got their first win of the season versus the Texans in spite of a superb performance by Houston quarterback MAtt Schaub (26/35 for 300 yards and three TD’s.) Maurice Jones-Drew tore up the field with 119 yards and three touchdowns for the Jags, and David Garrard added 214 through the air. The game was still in doubt until former #1 overall draft pick Mario Williams was called for a horsecollar tackle on third down, which brought a first down for Jacksonville and extended their drive.

New England – Brady still doesn’t look 100%, missing on a few potential homerun strikes to Moss that would have been dead on target (or at least catchable) in 07. However, he is getting a little more comfortable looking every game (even looked better here in the 2nd half vs the first). As long as they can win games in the meantime, Brady getting comfy will serve them better down the stretch than the highlight reel gold they are missing right now. One thing that was back in 07 form was the O-line, creating numerous plays where Brady had time to scan the stands and find Giselle, his Mom, an old high school buddy in town for the game, and Waldo before throwing the ball. This was particularly impressive here since it involved neutralizing Abraham. Kudos also to Fred Taylor for a good showing (see individual honors), and the defense as a whole for stifling both ends of a well rounded offense.

NY Giants – Granted, this was against the Bucs who are a contender to drink from the bottom of the barrel. Still, after a loose defensive performance against the Cowboys, the Giants defense gave up a whopping 86 yards of total offense. 86, as in Agent Maxwell Smart. That netted the Bucs five first downs (one by penalty) and just over 16 minutes of possession. This was not a shutout, it was a complete shutdown. Meanwhile, the Giants romped to almost 400 yards of offense, 226 on the ground. About the only way to screw up such a performance would be to turn the ball over, and the Giants did not (the Bucs only turned it over once). The Giants winning this game substantially was not, in and of itself, enough to land here since that was expected. Giving up a goose egg always gets our attention, but the Giants took that about two steps further. It is hard to get more Good than this.

Philadelphia – McNabb Who?, Westbrook Who?…Eagles looked dominant on offense with subs at the “skill positions” still finding their legs. Kolb became the first NFL player to pass for 300 yards in his first two starts (and look how much better it seemed when he wasn’t forcing it, trying to keep pace with Brees). The defensive front did well too, destroying the rushing attack and pressuring Cassel enough to prevent the Chiefs from ever really being in this game.

The Bad
Arizona – Maybe the Cards need to stay away from the desert heat, because they are now 0-2 at home. Not only are they winless on their own turf, they have looked awful in those losing efforts. The O-line that protected Kurt Warner so well against Jacksonville looked lost against the Colts (and in particular, Mike Gandy was flat-out owned by Dwight Freeney). There are a couple of playmakers on Arizona’s defense (like Darnell Dockett), but they couldn’t overcome an overall horrible outing by the D. They kept the Colts in check for about a quarter, but then Manning and Co. simply dissected the Cards’ defense for the rest of the game (and DRC was abused pretty badly, in particular). On offense, the Cards’ RBs continued their habit of fumbling the ball away, with Hightower putting the ball on the ground on one of the Cards’ few trips into the red zone. Warner fell back into his old habits of making poor decisions with the ball once he’s been hit a few times, throwing 2 picks, overthrowing receivers, and comically running backwards 28 yards to the 50 yard line to try and avoid a sack on a 4th-and-long late in the 4th quarter. The lone bright spot for the Cards was that every other NFC West team lost as well, so they didn’t lose any ground.

Buffalo – Only two things keep them out of the ugly category this week: A proliferation of even uglier games around the league lowering the bar for some borderline games to get promoted to “bad”, and the fact that the Bills defense did an admirable job containing an offense that had been running free this year so far. Unfortunately, the Bills offense could not answer. Their only points came on a fake FG where punter/holder Brian Moorman rolled out and tossed a 25 yard TD. This was the spark they needed, but Buffalo had nothing else to give. Though Brees had a suddenly mortal looking day, Pierre Thomas was able to move effectively, going for an impressive 9 ypc on 14 carries.

Carolina – After scratching out a 7-0 at halftime, the Panthers offense decided they had done enough. They abandoned the defense for the 3/4th of the second half, not gaining a first down for over 24 minutes. They were predictable and overly conservative during this offensive clinic. Some general incompetence by the Cowboys play calling kept this game close. But what the Cowboys offense couldn’t do while dominating 24 minutes of the second half the Panthers offense did in about 8 seconds…..putting this game out of reach when an interception was returned to the promised land. Losing this game in Dallas was not bad, but leading at halftime had promise, but a disinterested effort in the second half turned this into a Bad night.

Kansas City – It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with it. The Chiefs and Eagles held the ball for just about the same amount of time (Philly had a 70 second edge.) Total net yards? KC 196. Philly 420. WOW. How do you do that? What are you doing with all that time if you aren’t moving the ball? Well they sure weren’t converting on 3rd down. 0-11 on 3rd down attempts. That is going to KILL you. Well, kill KC, and it did. The not so bad for KC is that Cassel, while only throwing the ball 18 times, connected on 14 of those, and passing for 2 TDs. KC needs more of that.

Miami – Whatever good, bad or ugly the Dolphins rang up yesterday was overshadowed when quarterback Chad Pennington had to leave the game in the 13-23 loss to the Chargers. Though Pennington has been much-maligned in his career, any time he has started 10 or more games for his team, they have gone on to the playoffs, and when he doesn’t, they don’t. So unless Henne channels the spirit of another Michigan alumnus that stepped into an AFC East starting role thanks to an injury to the #1 QB, the Dolphins may have just seen their season sink beneath the waves.

Pittsburgh – The only thing keeping the Steelers off the Ugly list this week is that they led the game until the final 15 seconds. Not converting on short yardage situations; miscommunication between QB Ben Roethlisberger and WR Santonio Holmes, resulting in a pick 6; a dropped TD pass that hit Limas Sweed in the hands; a missed FG; and the defense giving up another game winning drive cost the Steelers their second victory this year. All of this considering the feared to be worst part of the team (offensive line) played much improved and protected well, while giving Willie Parker some running room. The Steelers are suffering from a Super Bowl hangover and are not playing like defending Champions. It doesn’t get easier this week as the Steelers host the Chargers on SNF.

The Ugly
Cleveland – Who is the freaking Quarterback of this bunch of Mangina led misfits? Players filing grievances, piss poor play, and an incredible void of talent has caused the Browns to be the current laughing stock of a team in the NFL as Detroit has officially left the Browns in their dust. The Browns don’t have much light at the end of the tunnel. In this game, Brady Quinn was benched only to be replaced by Derek Anderson and his 3 INT’s. Factor in almost no running game and a horrible defensive performance and it’s hard to come up with anything positive to come from this Browns loss. Perhaps our local resident KK can shed some hopeful light on this team as it would be an incredible reach for just about anyone else.

Oakland – Excuse me, I need to get Oakland a Snickers. They’re going to be here for a while. So here’s the question, if I had a magic wand and was able to transform JaMarcus Russell into a moderately decent QB today, would Oakland no longer be an ugly team? There are other problems, sure. Like who should JaMarcus throw to? They also have critical issues with their run Defense, as they can’t seem to contain anyone, ever, at all. But those two issues aside, is the utter incompetence of JRuss causing a snowball effect that has drug Oakland into the Ugly corner for good? This H2H analyst says yes. JaMarcus turned in 12 connections, 61 yards and 2 INTs. The Raiders Offense barely had a pulse, producing 9 first downs and 137 total yards for the game. A shout out to McFadden and his 3 Fumbles, didn’t want you to think we didn’t notice

Seattle – They get put in the Ugly category this week solely because of the hideous, garish, WFL-caliber neon green uniforms the team debuted (and hopefully retired) against the Bears. When people use the term “nuclear option,” rarely are they ever talking about football unis, but that’s exactly what these were. There’s absolutely no excuse for these uniforms to ever see the light of day again. The Seahawks need to round these abominations up and ship them to underprivileged children overseas who can then use them as nightlights.

Tampa Bay – As much as the Giants body of work in this game was Good, the Bucs’ defined Ugly. The Bucs were simply pillaged by the New York Giants. The offense gave new meaning to the word “inept,” not logging a first down until almost 40 minutes into the game (they did face 4th and 1 in the first quarter). 56 of their 86 yards and 4 of their 5 first downs came on amid-fourth quarter drive that fizzled with four consecutive incompletions from the Giant 5. Quarterback Josh Johnson had a mere 36 yards passing on 4-for-10 throwing after coming in for Byron Leftwich, who was equally erratic with only 22 yards and an interception after going 7 for 16. Meanwhile, the Giants amassed 28 first downs. The Giants tandem of Bradshaw and Jacobs ran roughshod over the Tampa Bay defense, piling up 196 yards on the ground between them. This performance was a throwback to 1976, and just as Ugly despite the change in uniforms.

Washington – They just became the answer to a future Jeopardy clue. Santana Moss had a monster game. Remove him and you have a team somewhere between the Clevelands and the Buffalos of the world. The stat sheet says they put up a lot of yards, particularly on the arm of Campbell. The reality is a lot of those yards came after the issue was no longer in doubt and everybody was too busy partying or in too much shock to notice. The defense, which had carried this team, gave up over 150 yards on the ground and threw Matthew Stafford a coming out party. Remember, this team is a 2-point win over the hapless Rams away from being 0-3.

Honorable Mention
New York Jets – Simply put, they had a chance to fold up in this game when the Titans recovered from t he 14-0 hole to take a 17-14 lead. In fact, the Jets didn’t look rattled. Perhaps inconvenienced. It says something about this team to give up a double-digit lead early in the second half, only to right the ship and bag a win. If we there had not been so much good already, this would have made it.

Individual Honors ….
Joe Flacco – The Ravens QB continues to pile up the offensive stats, completing 71% of his throws for 342 yards and a TD versus the winless Browns. Flacco, who finished with under 3,000 yards and 14 TDs in 2008, is on a pace to finish with over 4,400 yards and 32 touchdowns.

Santana Moss – The Redskins may have the uneviable distinction of being the team that the Detroit Lions beat to end their 19-game losing streak, but it wasn’t for lack of trying by Washington’s Santana Moss. Moss pulled in 10 receptions for 178 yards and 1 TD in the losing effort

Fred Taylor – The Patriots finally found their running attack, in the form of Fred Taylor. 105 yards with 1 TD in 21 attempts would not generally be noteworthy were it not for the fact that 100-yard efforts by Patriot running backs happen with about the same frequency that Jerry Falwell used to bless gay marriages.

And Dishonors
Wade Phillips/Jason Garrett – You’ve put up almost 200 yards rushing through just over three quarters. The opposing defense has been on the field 20 of the first 18 minutes of the second half. You are leading by field goal and have second and goal about four feet away. RUN THE EFFIN BALL! ]]> http://helmet2helmet.net/2009/09/29/the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-week-3/feed/ http://helmet2helmet.net/2009/09/23/if-the-season-ended-today-week-2/ http://helmet2helmet.net/2009/09/23/if-the-season-ended-today-week-2/#comments Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:38:31 +0000 BG http://helmet2helmet.net/?p=256 AFC

1. New York Jets (2-0) - AFC East champs. 1st seed due to the strength of victory tiebreaker.

2. Denver Broncos (2-0) - AFC West champs. 2nd seed due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed tiebreaker.

3. Baltimore Ravens (2-0) - AFC North champs. 3rd seed due to the strength of victory tiebreaker.

4. Indianapolis Colts (2-0) - AFC South champs.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) - 5th seed over Chargers due to the best conference record tiebreaker.

6. San Diego Chargers (1-1) - 6th seed over Patriots due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed tiebreaker.

Just missed: Patriots, Texans, Raiders (yes, Raiders).

NFC

1. San Francisco 49ers (2-0) - NFC West champs. 1st seed due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed tiebreaker.

2. New York Giants (2-0) - NFC East champs. 2nd seed due to the strength of victory tiebreaker.

3. Minnesota Vikings (2-0) - NFC North champs. 3rd seed due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed tiebreaker.

4. Atlanta Falcons (2-0) - NFC South champs over Saints due to a better record in division games.

5. New Orleans Saints (2-0)

6. Green Bay Packers (1-1) - 6th seed over Cowboys and Seahawks due to a better record in conference games.

Just missed: Cowboys, Seahawks, Eagles, Redskins.

Top 5 Picks in the 2010 Draft

1 (tie). Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-2) - SOS (.500) 1st pick over the Rams due to a worse combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed. Coin flip with Titans.

1 (tie). Tennessee Titans (0-2) - SOS (.500) Coin flip with Buccaneers.

3. St. Louis Rams (0-2) - SOS (.500)

4 (tie). Kansas City Chiefs (0-2) - SOS (.750) 4th pick over the Jaguars due to a worse combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed. Coin flip with Panthers.

4 (tie). Carolina Panthers (0-2) - SOS (.750) Coin flip with Chiefs.

Just missing the top 5: Jaguars, Browns, Lions, Dolphins.

Cincinnati – Whodey woulda thunk that in week two, the normally hapless Bengals would Lambeau Leap their way to victory at Green Bay? Did you know that Bengals are a fluke play away from being 2-0 right now and finally have a running game? Cedric Benson rushed for 141 yds, while Ocho Cinko had 91 yds and a TD. Despite nearly blowing this game late, the Bengals earned their spot on the Good list for winning a game that few expected them to.

Denver – Wow, first Cincy now Denver in the same week, let alone the same month. OK, we take a little creative license with usage of the term “Good” here in the AFCW. Denver won their 10th straight home opener by beating the dismal Browns. The good for Denver is heavily weighted in their surprise 2-0 start. If it weren’t for the alleged coach on coach crime over in Oakland, Denver would have been presented with the NFL off-season Drama Queen tiara. Expectations fell, leaving San Diego the clear front runner, with Denver, Oakland and KC fighting for 4th place. Yet the Bronco stumble towards week 1 has given way to a much more cohesive march. Leadership is emerging in the unlikely form of Kyle Orton who threw for 263 yards and 1 TD. His passing was accurate in the red zone as well as downfield, with eight different targets recording receptions. The Browns have one of the worst rushing D’s in the league, and Denver took them for 186 yards on the ground and 1 TD. Not spectacular, but there’s promise in the Knowshon Moreno/Correll Buckhalter tandem. The Denver D shut down the Browns run game and stole back possession three times with 2 fumble recoveries and a pick. Next week a confident Denver squad heads to Oakland to face the Raiders in a fierce divisional rivalry.
Game Highlights

Houston – We’ll shish kebab the Titans later. But when you put up 420 yards of offense and 357 in the air against a normally strong defense, you had to do something right. Add to that no turnovers and you have the recipe for a win. Schaub, Andre Johnson had monster games, including a terrific one-handed touchdown hookup early. The Texans had an opportunity to fold, falling behind by 14 early in the second quarter. But brushing off their early difficulties after last week’s debacle earns the Texans a place here.

New Orleans Saints – The Saints were close to Good last week but got sloppy in the second half. This week, against a much better opponent with an exponentially better defense, the Saints did not skip a beat and was on the better end of the slop. The first 28 minutes were played at an Eagle-friendly pace and led to a 10-10 game. From that point forward, the Saints took advantage of a bad Eagle punt return decision (why the hell would anyone try to return a punt from their own 3), a fumble of the second half opening kickoff and an interception all in Eagle territory to post 21 easy points. The rushing attack even contributed 133 yard and a 4.6 per carry average. Sure, the defense gave up over 460 yards, but almost 150 yards of that were on two late drives that ultimately resulted in 2 Eagle points and 7 Saints defensive points. Perhaps the only bad for the Saints was Brees had a rather blasé performance….a paltry 311 yards passing (tsk, tsk). Ultimately, while the game was fairly even statistically, the Saints managed to move the ball against a normally upper-crust defense, turned three golden opportunities into 21 points and forced the Eagles to rely more on the pass than they would have liked.

New York Jets – Ok so they weren’t extremely flashy on offense themselves, but for the second week in a row, the jets completely shut down a potent offense.

The Bad
Dallas – The Cowboys defense presented a decent gambit of bend but don’t break, stalling out the Giants’ flagging red zone offense several times to keep it close enough to win…further Marion Barber was running pretty freely, it was all on Romo’s shoulders to cross the finish line and instead, he downshifted to reverse.

Green Bay – Losing at home to the Cincy Bengals is never a good thing. However, the Packers found a way to give up 31 points and when that happens, you normally lose. The only thing keeping the Pack off the ugly list is that they nearly came back to tie the game late. The Pack only ran the ball for 89 yards and had the only turnover in the game. At least the Packers faithful were privileged enough to witness the great Chad Ocho Cinko do his lame ass version of the Lambeau Leap, which he totally fucked up making a spectacle of himself.

New England – Specifically, the playcalling. With the exception of 5 minutes and 30 seconds, in the first two games of the 2009 season, the Patriots offense seems like a 426 Hemi with a governor slapped on it. Lacking the dynamic play-calling of Charlie Weis or even Josh McDaniel, the formerly high-flying offense has turned into something that incites yawns from all those that gaze upon it. Yes, it’s only two games, but in 2007, with a unit with similar talents, Tom Brady at this point already had led the Pats offense to 76 points with six TD passes - and the defenses of the Jets and Bills, while respectable, will not confuse anyone with that of the 1985 Chicago Bears.

Philadelphia – They get a pass out of the ugly category for pitching a decent first half and for Kolb looking respectable for coming in cold, (at least in the first half). Maybe if this continues the Saint’s opponents will get a free pass but for now, anytime you surrender 48 points this is the best seat you’ll get on this list.

San Diego – No RedZone channel needed during this game, nope! This is a battle of two strong defenses. We know these teams can score, but this is the defensive matchup of the week! Ok, maybe I was the only one thinking that? But I doubt anyone thought this game would put up one of the largest point totals of week 2. The bad sits squarely on the shoulders of the San Diego Defense. Merriman, only one tackle before you (of all people) decided to ‘play it safe’ with a tight groin? I can’t make this stuff up. Jammer, Flacco was throwing to your side of the field all day, they don’t fear you. Guys, you can’t depend on Rivers and the O to pad the scoreboard enough to compensate for when you decide not to play. We might have already crowned your ass, but it’s still just an AFCW crown and only counts for 1/3rd the value in other divisions. If your goal is to represent and make a legitimate run at the AFC title, you need to step up your game, and soon.
Game Highlights

Tennessee – The Titans did enough on offense to avoid Ugly, racking up almost 450 yards of and nearly 210 on the ground. If someone had leaked those numbers to us before the game, we would have assumed a spot on the Good and a major Titan victory. So how did they wind up here? Despite the gaudy offensive numbers they got out-possessioned by over 8 minutes. They turned the ball over once inside their own 30 that led to 7 uncharacteristically easy points and fumbled away their final drive. Their normally stingy defense allowed Schaub to look like Drew Brees, logging 357 yards and 4 TDs. This did not look like the Titans defense. About the only thing they did right was hold the Texans rushing attack to a meager 2.2 per carry average. The end result was a Bad home divisional loss.

The Ugly
Jacksonville – Ugly is the only word that can describe the day for the Jags. Don’t be fooled by the box score that pretends this game was more competitive than it really was. While they nearly matched the Cardinals yard-for-yard on offense, nearly half of the Jags total yards came after the issue was no longer in doubt. Garrard had a day he’d probably rather forget, completing barely over half of his passes (23/43)…Jones-Drew had one long run and averaged 2.5 ypc on his other 12 carries, they were plagued by miscues, from drive killing penalties some of the few times they did seem to gain a little momentum to 4 turnovers (plus another 2 fumbles they managed to get back). But the culmination of the ugliness came on a blocked Scobee FG attempt, which Arizona returned for a TD. Now granted the FG team is not generally of the immediate mindset to tackle a runner, but some of the Jacksonville pursuit looked as though they were swimming through mud. This team suddenly looks like they are grasping for a life preserver in a division full of hungry sharks.

Cleveland – Utterly humiliated by a Denver team which very possibly just saw its last 2 game win streak of the season. This team is who we thought they were. Er, well, at least for the first two games of the season. This week, the Brownies only mustered a total of 11 first downs and 200 yards of total offense. Are we ready to hear the cries for Derek Anderson or does Brady Quinn just need more time? Conversely, Cleveland’s defense gave up a whopping 449 yards of offense and the Brownies lost the turnover battle 1-3. All of this after recovering a Bronco fumble of the opening kickoff and parlaying that into a 3-0 lead. The Brown secondary was about as effective as the guy with a 25 foot bungee cord jumping off a 20 foot bridge. It’s not looking good for the Cleve Brahns as they travel to Baltimore to face the division leading Ravens.

Oakland – Sometimes it’s a shame there has to be a winner. Winning is positive reinforcement. It lets you know that your actions and accomplishments were effective and encourages you to repeat the pattern. If the Raiders take this to heart, the Lions will get a new roommate in the basement. Neither team played well and nothing means excitement like field goals. The downright ugly comes in the massive form of JaMarcus Russell. Through the corners of our cringing eyes we expect to see the Raider sidelines wave white flags of surrender on this failure. He completed less than 30% of his passes for just 109 yards. No touchdowns, and he rushed for -3 yards. Luckily for the Raiders they have a stable of RBs to set lose on the field. Between McFadden and Bush, they ran for 37 yards. OK, so maybe half the ugly goes to the Oakland OC. Oh wait, the Raiders don’t have one.
Game Highlights

St. Louis - The Rams found a way to waste a solid effort from Steven Jackson, who carried 17 times for 104 yards. Marc Bulger completed just over half of his passes, going 15 of 28 for a meager 125 yards, with one lone TD strike to Laurent Robinson (who is the lone bright spot in the Rams’ passing game). The inexperience of the Rams receivers will likely be a sore spot for this team all season. The Rams defense notched their first (and only) sack of the season, and managed to keep the Redskins out of the end zone (including stiffening for a nice goal line stand late in the fourth quarter), but it was not enough, as three Shaun Suisham FGs were enough to sink the Rams’ hopes of getting their first win of the season.

Honorable Mention
Washington Redskins – Not a lot needs to be said here. Playing St. Louis, scoring only 9 points and no TDs puts you on the edge of being bad. They even put up decent offensive numbers. This looks all too familiar for Redskins fans. If this were against the Giants, Eagles, Steelers, Ravens, etc, perhaps only the win would matter. But the Rams??? The defensive effort and the fact that the Redskins are normally not a factor of offense keeps them off the Bad….for now.

Individual Honors ….
Mark Sanchez – In spite of a few start of the game jitters, the Jets rookie QB looked like anything but a first-year signal caller in leading the Jets to a 2-0 start to their season. He didn’t set the world on fire statistically (other than completing about 2/3 of his throws,) but he made every throw he needed to make. The Jets have themselves a bona fide NFL quarterback.

Julian Edelman – With Wes Welker out due to injury, Patriots rookie kick returner Edelman was thrust into the slot in his place, and put in a Welkerian performance, with 8 receptions for 98 yards. There were a lot of reasons for Patriot fans to feel frustrated after the Jets/Pats contest, but they could take some small amount of solace from the efforts of Edelman.

Frank Gore - If only Gore could play the Seahawks 16 games a season, he’d set a new single-season rushing record. Both of Gore’s career 200-yard games have come at Seattle’s expense, and he took advantage of the absence of Brandon Mebane and Lofa Tatupu to abuse the Seahawks run defense. Gore is only the second player in NFL history to record two 79+ yard runs in a single game (the other being Barry Sanders), and Jordan Babineaux will have nightmares about Gore for weeks. Gore’s 2 TDs provided the margin of victory in the NFC West showdown, and gave the 49ers the early lead in the division.

And Dishonors
Tony Romo – Nice way to christen the new stadium there, Tony. The Cowboys gave you a chance to lead them to a win in the new digs, and you respond with what would have been an absolute zero quarterback rating, except you spelled your name correctly. 13 of 29 for 127 yards with a touchdown sounds subpar. Add three interceptions and you wind up here.

Jamarcus Russell – Last week, he completed only 40% of his throws. This week, less than 30%. So far in 2009, Russell is going from bad to worse. Unless he stages a remarkable turnaround soon, he won’t merely be called a bust, but may well be considered the standard by which all busts are measured, leaving the likes of Ryan Leaf and Tony Mandarich so far behind, they’ll be mere specks in his rear view mirror.

CBS Late games

FOX

AFC

1. Baltimore Ravens (1-0) - AFC North champs over Steelers due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed. 1st seed due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.

2. San Diego Chargers (1-0) - AFC West champs over Broncos due to a better record in division games. 2nd seed due to the best combined ranking among league teams in points scored and points allowed.

3. Indianapolis Colts (1-0) - AFC South champs due to overall record. 3rd seed due to the best net points in conference games (+2 net points for Indy, +1 net points for New England).

4. New England Patriots (1-0) - AFC East champs over Jets due to a better record in division games.

5. New York Jets (1-0) - 5th seed over Broncos due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.

6. Denver Broncos (1-0) - 6th seed over Steelers due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.

Yup, that’s right folks. The defending SB champs are out of the playoffs after Week 1. They are the only 1-0 AFC team to miss the postseason.

NFC

1. Seattle Seahawks (1-0) - NFC West champs over 49ers due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed. 1st seed due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.

2. Green Bay Packers (1-0) - NFC North champs over Vikings due to a better record in division games. 2nd seed due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.

3. New York Giants (1-0) - NFC East champs over Eagles and Cowboys due to a better record in division games. 3rd seed due to the best combined ranking among league teams in points scored and points allowed.

4. New Orleans Saints (1-0) - NFC South champs over Falcons due to a better record in conference games.

5. Philadelphia Eagles (1-0) - 5th seed over Cowboys and 49ers due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.

6. Dallas Cowboys (1-0) - 6th seed over 49ers due to the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed.

Sorry, Falcons and Vikings. Guess you should have played someone in your own conference.

Top 5 Picks in the 2010 Draft

The draft order hinges primarily on two things: overall record, and strength of schedule. If we consider teams’ entire schedules, and how those yet-to-be-played opponents fared in Week 1 (for example, the Bills’ opponents currently have a combined record of 7-9), determining the top 5 picks is actually pretty easy, though we have to go to divisional and conference tiebreakers.

1. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-1) - SOS (.375) 1st pick over the Texans due to a a worse record in division games.

2. Houston Texans (0-1) - SOS (.375)

3. Buffalo Bills (0-1) - SOS (.438)

4/5. St. Louis Rams (0-1) and Tennessee Titans (0-1) - SOS (.500) The Rams get this position over the Cardinals due to a worse combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed. However, the Rams and Titans must be decided by a coin flip, since they are from different conferences, and none of the conference tiebreakers apply.

However, if you see SOS as merely a current snapshot of the teams already played (and not teams yet-to-be-played), then you have 16 teams sitting at 0-1, all with a SOS of 1.000. So various divisional tiebreakers came into play, and I identified the last-place team in each division. Seeing as all 4 AFC teams had conference losses and all 4 NFC teams had conference losses, I was tempted to use the best combined ranking among conference teams in points scored and points allowed tiebreaker to whittle those teams down, but then I wasn’t quite sure how AFC and NFC teams would pair up for further tiebreakers. So instead, I proceeded to the next tiebreaker, the best combined ranking among league teams in points scored and points allowed. And this is how it shook out.

1. St. Louis Rams (0-1)

2. Carolina Panthers (0-1)

3. Chicago Bears (0-1) - 3rd pick over Redskins due to worst net touchdowns in all games (-1 for Chicago, 0 for Washington). This is the absolute last applicable tiebreaker before a coin flip.

4. Washington Redskins (0-1)

5. Oakland Raiders (0-1)

Just missing the top 5: Buffalo, Cincinnati, and Jacksonville