How would you save your marriage, if this happened to you?

I found a text on my husband’s cell phone from another woman in Canada, (we live in the US). It was obviously more than friendly. I know for a fact he has not been to Canada, but was recently in northern US on a week long business trip. I asked him about it, he did not deny it, but said it was because he felt I was ignoring him and she actually made him feel good. He denied anything sexual with her.
We have 3 young children, and I really do love him. I just don’t know if I can get through the trust. We have discussed counseling but do not have money for it, and we are of 2 different religions. We are both pretty private and have issues opening up to strangers in person lol. We are spending more time together and talking more. We are finally planning on a long weekend together, something we have not had in 8 years.
What I am asking is does anyone have any advice as to how to deal with this? Also any personal experience is welcome.
What I meant with the 2 different religions is most people say to talk to your priest or something, that is not an option here.

How do you save your marriage?

For the past few weeks my husband has really been getting on my nerves and I think I have been getting on his He will do something that he knows will annoy me and then when I respond he acts like a victim. He twist es around my words so when I talk to him he makes my points seem like I am complaining about nothing. Then I tried not talking and saying anything then I feel like I’ll have things pill ed up and I will explode. He is like a lawyer he can twist around anything I don’t debate that much so after a while I’ll just say forget it . He wont under any circumstances go to counseling and I mean the things we argue about is stupid but they are really starting to take a toll. Maybe I should just go away for a few days and then we will like each other again but all I know is we are really getting on each others nerves I don’t want it to lead to anything else but it is really getting bad and we argue about nothing

You want to save your first kiss for marriage but you are an actor and do kissing scenes?

How does that work? Then your first kiss would be with another actor, not very special but it’s just acting and save your real kiss for your spouse.

Indian folks of YH: Would you stay in an unhappy arranged marriage just to save your parents from shame?

Would you live out every day in misery just to make your parents and relatives happy? Would you forsake your own happiness for the happiness of others? How many of you would do this? And how many of you are actually doing this now?

Would you have an abortion to save your marriage?

I’m 19 years old, my husband is 21 (almost 22). Right now he’s in the Air Force Reserve, hopefully going full time. He wanted me to get pregnant, I told him how awful the timing would be…but he still insisted. I love kids, especially babies…so I really didn’t mind. Even though I plan on breast feeding, trying to use cloth diapers and maybe getting a job at a daycare so i could work and still take care of our child…but he still insists we can’t afford it. Medical expenses before or after the baby is born, really isn’t an issue. Tri care would cover it all, bc he’s on orders and is taking some classes for his job which give him the same benefits of an active duty airman. Then after he had nothing else to complain about, he said neither of us (meaning the baby and myself) are healthy enough for it. I’m plenty healthy…he just thinks I eat unhealthy. I’m not overweight and I really don’t eat bad things…he’s just mad bc I don’t specifically eat what he wants me to. Anyways, he informed me today that if I didn’t get an abortion, we were going to separate. His idea of separating was me living with him, paying half the bills, and taking care of the baby entirely by myself. So, of course, this way he could see it. I’m 14 weeks pregnant, btw. I really can’t do this by myself, but I left him earlier. I packed all my stuff and left, bc no matter how hard I try…I don’t think I could deal with abortion. But I already miss him soo much, I can barely breathe, I keep making myself sick, I just want to be with him. All this stress couldn’t be good for the baby either…he said he wants to have a baby later, just not right now. But I’m just wondering, would you have an abortion to save your marriage, knowing you would have another chance at having another baby? The thought kills me…but being without him hurts me even more somehow. What am I supposed to do? I really don’t think he’s considering adoption…but I’m not sure which would hurt me more; abortion, having a baby and giving it to a stranger and never seeing it again, having an open adoption, but never get to take care of it…or asking a family member to adopt and having to see it often, but never actually having it all to myself…I’m just so confused…I’m too young to have to make these decisions. I don’t think it’s fair to punish our child for a choice that we made, for a baby we wanted. But how is it fair for the baby to grow up knowing his father didn’t want him? or her. I want this baby so bad, I’ve put up with the worst morning sickness for this baby…but I love my husband so much. I’m so scared that either way i’ll hate myself and end up failing.
I know it’s a sensitive subject, I just want honest opinions of what ppl would do if they were in my situation. If your spouse gave you an ultimatum like that, what would you choose? People can judge me all they want to, either way I’ll hate myself in the end. I think we’re going to try adoption…we talked a little. My aunt has two daughters but got her tubes tied…her and her fiance want a boy but would probably be happy either way. So we might ask her…hopefully she’ll say yes…
ha okay “wazzyrobin”. sounds like something only a crazy person would come up with. way to be a total b****. I didn’t say i was going through with it, I didn’t say I wouldn’t. I’m going to try for an open adoption with a family member. Do you think I want to even be considering this? This boy has put me through hell numerous times, I know his arrogant butt won’t leave me again bc the last time he tried that he begged me to come back the second I was gone. He really can’t live without me…but I also know that he wouldn’t help support the baby after it’s born, he wouldn’t help take care of it, I couldn’t bare to have him touch my child with his attitude towards it. He wants me to pay for it all, take care of it completely on my own but still live with him so he can see the baby when it’s convenient to him. Believe me I know how much of a douchebag he’s being…I love him nonetheless. I am miserable without him.

How far can you go to save your marriage?

Anyone with experience on how to stop divorce and save your marriage?

If you have already filed for a divorce and what would be the best route to take to save your marriage?

If the your sinificant other says they want the divorce but all you can do is sit back and remember the statements that were made in a positive manner and you honestly know how they feel truely about you what do you do?

.Is there a happy ending, it feels as though worst could be better than how I feel right now! Is there hope?I?

So; I am reaching out to the world in effort to save my failing marriage! I’m probably like a millioln others out there with this feeling of desperation! It is affecting my self esteem, my work ethic, my home ethic, my children, my mind, attitude and self worth, and ultimately it is affecting him, my life’s companion! I have so much to work on, it feels like so little time, as a matter of fact, I think it may be too late. His habits, attitude and communication with me are quite harsh, he’s sick of me, showing signs of attraction towards others, talks in his sleep of what he’s done, calls me by another’s name, gets extreme in reaction when I question his actions, brings up the past, causes fights, is doing extraordinary things far outside his norm, getting “ready” before work in a way he never has, wears cologne for work, not me, tells me he’s going one place and goes another, doesn’t call me nearly ever and seems to get highly angry at things out of the norm…help

How to pro-life, anti-abortion, “Save-sex-for-marriage” type of Christians explain this?

So I’ve seen a lot of Christians say that if people just had sex when they’re married, there would be a decrease in abortions, contraceptive failures and unwanted pregnancies. Well, let me enlighten you:

1) Married women do get abortions.

2) Married couples do face the challenges/consequences of unwanted pregnancies.

3) Yes, contraceptives aren’t 100% effective… regardless of marital status. If a married couple is on birth control and it happens to fail, you can’t say that the only reason why it happened is because they didn’t save sex for marriage.

So if you really think that “abstaining” from sex till marriage is going to “cure” the abortion problem, think again.

How to change my character towards my broken marriage?

Its has been 8 yrs of marriage. The problem may b is me. I have fail to change my character towards my broken marriage. I would like to change to a better wife but it seems that i never wanted to change at all. We love each other but he don’t feel i care about him, concern about his life, with the attitude of don’t bother abouts what happening to his life. Is like I’m the spectator and he is the player. He always feel irratated with me and everymonth he will lecture me and repeat again and again about what i didn’t do as a responsible and caring wife and i have keep failing to be his wife.

I admit, he is poor and not financially strong. I worked too but i’m thinking a husband should have provide and be stable in his financial. May be because thats why i don’t respect him and I always fail to change my character to save this marriage.

He said i’m not ready to be married, not ready to be somebody’s wife, always live like a single and don’t undestand what is marriage all about.

Why are some women so silly to think that a baby will change anything?

Why do women assume this?

Why aren’t they smart enough to know that men will not be trapped like that, no matter how much it costs?

I don’t know why they do it to themselves. It’s really sad and terrible. Bringing children into the world all to save your doomed an failed marriage which was doomed from the start because you’re not a good match but you obviously don’t have the foresight because you’re soooo in love.

Know what I mean?

I need advice to save my marriage?!?

ok, so i have repeatedly cheated on my wife with the young student teacher, Cassandra. When my wife caught me, she took my daughter and they are both staying in hotel. Last night, I texted Cassandra and said we needed to talk. she wore another tight fitting, see thruough outfit, (see thru white tee, shirt white shorts) and we met at a cafe. This is how our conversation went- cass-you wanted to talk? me- yes. i can`t be with you anymore cass-be with me? i was never “with you” we just like to have a littlw fun sometimes. my boyfriend probably wouldn`t even care. I`m also a little angry becasue now my dangerous sex style has gotten me in trouble. The school found out about the charge of nudity and assault and things and I`m suspended right now! (grabs my p**is under the table) But that just gives us more freedom me- cass you have a boyfriend? let go of my junkkk! you still wNna have sex and you have a boyfriend? cass- you got a wife! and a daughter. and maybe andother on the way… me- i know but you seduced me- wait! please don`t tell me your pregnant! cass- well we didnt use protection. so if the test comes out positive, your the father. (shes still rubbing my junkkkkk) me- lord in heavan! i gotta go cass-wait- one last little “encounter?” with protection of course me-well, i guess, my wife left already = got nothin to lose. cass- come on, I know the perfect place. So, i gave in. she took me to an alley where people in the street could see us! she likes it dangerous. We almost got arrested. I told my friend and he said to try and get allll of us, me, cass,my wife, cass`s boyfriend and evn my daughter, in on these encounters. I maybe a lot of things but im DEFINETLY not one of those people who don`t ry interesting things. What do you think of the situation.

My husband and I are having serious marriage trouble, lack of communication, disrespect both to one another,?

disagreement on parenting (he has three children and I have one they all live with us). We can’t even go a week without a disagreement,,,, both hurt and bitter. only been a year … As if that is not bad enough I am four months pregnant with our baby.. What can we do to save our marriage?? Any great books ?? no time for counseling?? Anyone made it back from the brinks of divorce from a blended family…if so how?? We love one another but as he puts it all the time its not enough??

Money issues in marriage?

My man and I have been together for 7 wonderful years. We share the same interests, common likes and dislikes and we get along. The only problem is our different views on money. I personally view life as something that needs to be lived. I tend to be the spender in the relationship. I spend my own money and I have trouble saving. I tend to like going out more and having a good time. I like to take trips and go places. My man on the other hand is a saver. He tends to think in lines of retirement and the future. He doesn’t go out a lot so he doesn’t really see why I enjoy going out with friends and family. He saves almost every bit of his paycheck and tries to avoid going places to save money on gas. Lately we have be clashing on money. He says I need to save more and I say that he needs to loosen up. He wants me to stop getting things done like hair, nails, etc. He also thinks that I should limit my going out to once or twice a month instead of each week. Also when I want to go places I get lectured about money and how I’m wasting it. Sometimes I understand how he feels and sometimes I think he is just being unfair.

So my question is what kind of compromise can we reach that will help us both be happy? Has anybody else had this problem? Also is he being unfair or am I just misunderstanding?

Serious answers only please! Best answer gets the points!

How can I save sex for marriage?

I’m a 19-year-old college girl, and for personal and religious reasons (I’m Christian), I’ve committed to remaining a virgin until my wedding night. I still want to date now, because naturally my body is encouraging me to have sex, and I want very much to fall in love and move toward that wedding night. The only trouble is that it seems most guys are accustomed to getting sex much earlier in a relationship than I’m willing to provide it, and I’m worried they’ll all get snatched up by girls who put out sooner.

Also, I hear so much talk about wanting to ensure “sexual compatibility” before marriage. This doesn’t really make sense to me because I’m thinking that if we have compatible sex drives, as well as similar morals and desires when it comes to sex (all of which we can find out just by talking), and we both have all functioning parts, there can’t be any real sexual incompatibility. Of course, I’m a virgin, so if I’m wrong on this, do tell. My point being that many people consider premarital sex common, and even practical.

So here’s the thing: I want a man who will respect my desire to save sex for marriage, who will be willing to marry without a “test run,” and who will be patient enough to work with me on the honeymoon until I’m able to please him sexually. Are they still out there? If so, where can I find them? Are there any men on Y!A who are also waiting?
greatprincemichael, that was completely unhelpful. I’m already aware that most people in our society engage in premarital sex. If you read the question, I’m looking for someone to help me live up to my personal standards, not to scoff at them. A conservative church has not forced these values on me; I have chosen them myself based on my own personal interpretation of the Bible, and based on what I do and don’t want to experience in my life.

Thanks to everyone else for the wonderful answers! I really appreciate the suggestions, the encouragement, the personal experience, and the humour!

Free Marriage counseling?

ok I am not religious and my husband is not. He is trying to get a job and i am in school. so we have no money. We need counseling and we know it. does anyone out there know any free marriage counseling places that we can go to with out it being all religion based or cost a lot of money? Please if you are going to tell us we are stupid then get lost. at least we are trying now. and thank you for those of you who gave real help.

Free Marriage licences/ records?

okay i need to find a free website where i can look up marriage records and i really need it… please help me

Free Marriage Counseling?

I need to find free therapy or counseling for my mom. (She’s having marriage problems). I was thinking about churches, but my mom doesn’t belong to a church and doesn’t have money to pay for private services. Her benefits don’t kick in for another month and she needs help right away. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Free Marriage Records?

I am in need of free marriage records
pls help