Help! My chain came off...

Hit and Run: Time to Make London's Streets Safer

2013-11-18T07:49:00.000+00:00

The tragedies of the five cyclists who lost their lives last week weigh heavily in my heart. Like so many who travel around London on two-wheels, I am frustrated by the lack of safe road design for cyclists’ and the lack of urgency and action by the Mayor of London to act on this issue.

In the same week as those cyclists’ lost their lives, I was bullied off the road by a taxi driver and nearly hit by a private bus whose driver failed to stop at a junction and check if traffic was passing before pulling out. I encounter experiences like these on my ride to and from work and I know full well that other cyclists encounter similar near misses.

Everyday I cycle I have the niggling thought that I could be injured due to circumstances beyond my control. In a morbid way I have been mentally preparing that I may one day be involved in a collision of some sort. It has always felt inevitable.

Last month that niggling thought became a reality when a speeding Range Rover driver in oncoming traffic took a right turn into me when heading north onto Gordon Square. The driver simply failed to stop to wait for me to pass before taking the turn. I was left lying in the middle of the road shocked and helpless watching the Range Rover speeding away from the scene.

My injured right side caused by an irresponsible motorist and poor road design

If I hadn’t have impulsively turned my handlebars left, I would certainly have been flung over the Range Rover. Instead, the right side of my body took the blow. My mobility in the weeks after was somewhat restricted and I had severe internal and external bruising and swelling. Even now, 6 weeks on I still can’t lie on my right side nor apply any pressure on the area without feeling pain.

Gordon Square (Source)

Unfortunately, it's of no surprise that the collision happened by Gordon Square near Torrington/Tavistock Place. A popular central cycle way connecting east to west, this segregated path has being lobbied by LCC Camden Cyclists as a ‘victim of it’s own success’ and has been renamed in bike forums as the ‘Lane of Death’.

I cycle the Lane of Death everyday and I am all too familiar with its design flaws affecting all types of road users. It was only a matter of time that I became a victim of its glaring inadequacies and the dangerous driving of an irresponsible, senseless motorist.

In the days after it made me think about the amount of times I have been told by friends and colleagues to ‘ride safely!’ But no matter how safe and responsibly I cycle, collisions like the one I was involved in are completely out of my own control. The responsibility of travelling safely seems to always be deflected from motorists’ onto cyclists when in fact one can have no control over the reckless actions of others like the Range Rover driver who collided with me. Nor can one have control over the surrounding road design, which may have been a contributing factor to the cause of the collision. For this very reason, vulnerable cyclists need to be protected by adequate infrastructure and motorists need to be held accountable for their actions.

I don’t feel proud to live in London and in a society which makes me feel that in some twisted distorted way that by being injured in a collision I have ‘paid my dues’ just for choosing to cycle. I feel like I have been punished for the method of transport I have chosen and that I deserve what I am given. The prejudice and abuse of cyclists on the roads and social media is endemic and needs to stop.

It is astounding that cyclists are stillhaving to argue for safer roads. I have to wonder how many more people need to die before our voices will be heard. The Mayor of London needs to start listening and acting immediately. I am backing the London Cycling Campaign to urge the Mayor to take positive action to improve cycling infrastructure of well-known killer junctions. I encourage anyone who wants to live in a safer, healthier and happier city to do the same.

Please support the campaign and write to the Mayor of London here.

HelpMyChainCameOff! has COME OFF

2013-05-09T12:22:00.000+01:00

Ah my dear, dear, dear bicycle friends. HelpMyChainCameOff! has COME OFF and when I say come off I mean OFFLINE!

Yep, I'm officially signing off from this blog and would like to wish all you readers and supporters a bicycle GOODBYE. I'm not giving up my two-wheeled adventures and will continue commuting and leisure cycling forever. I'm just stepping down from the stage of bicycle blogging in pursuit of other hobbies I want to get started.

It's been a swell couple of years and all good things have to come to an end right? I see this like Fawlty Towers and The Office, I'm bailing out whilst it's still good because I'm cool.

Thank you to everyone who has commented and read all my posts and supported my work - The bicycle community are a vocal, inclusive bunch and we make the best team.

So, with the wonderful weather on the weekend, I went out on my bike to celebrate the last post of HelpMyChainCameOff! and took some pictures of my adventure to Richmond Park which I want to share with you for the last time.

Cruising through Hyde Park dodging the tourists on their Boris Bikes.

Winging it through Chelsea, darling.

Passing by the rowing clubs in Putney.

Waiting for the level crossing to cross the railway line.

It's the attack of the MAMILs! They swarmed to Richmond Park in flocks.

Arrived at Richmond Park and observing MAMIL behaviour. Favourite quote I overheard was 'My glucose levels are down, I'M HUNGRY!' Ah vintage MAMIL saying.

Sitting back and basking in the sunshine.

And then it was time to go...

Over and out.x

SPIN London Bicycle Festival 3rd - 5th May

2013-04-15T12:57:00.000+01:00

Ahoy there fellow cyclists and trendsetters, did you get out and about on the weekend? Did you? Did you?

Because I did, and look what I saw.

Picnic on Boris Bikes

Turns out that Boris Bike docking stations make the perfect setting for a Brick Lane picnic. There's nothing like the idyllic scenery of Bethnal Green Road and the lorries and buses which rampage through it. Whatever you do, don't tell the Mayor of London otherwise he'll probably introduce a hefty rental charge for the picnic pleasure and these guys will have to sit on the littered street corner next to the Saturday night vomit to eat their Brick Lane bagel instead.

Enough of that, because I'm here to offer you guys a treat. It's competition time!

For all you scenester cyclists who wish that you could hang out in the Old Truman Brewery off Brick Lane with all your favourite cycle apparel brands at arms distance, well your wish has come true. I'm giving away 2 free tickets for the SPIN LONDON Urban Bicycle Show taking place on 3rd - 5th May.

And now let me tell you bit about it because what's the purpose of giving away tickets if I don't?

Spin is 'the world's first urban focused bicycle show and festival' featuring progressive, forward thinking cycle brands such as Vulpine, Mango and Tokyobike.

Haven't got any money because you squandered your last tenner on the overpriced burgers at MEATmission? Well hey guys, this is a culture thing as well. You can:

+ Race your friends at Rollapaluza static cycle racing
+ Scoff some food at Jimmys' cycle bistro
+ Watch a film or talk at the pedal powered cinema
+ See the themed Bike V Design exhibition
+ Watch bikes being built
+ Go to some talks or demonstrations and cycle-art installations

You can buy tickets here for £7 or otherwise, ENTER MY COMPETITION TO GET A PAIR FOR FREE!

Enter to win the tickets by tweeting or liking the HMCCO Facebook page using widget below! Deadline to enter is midnight on Monday 22nd April. A winner will be selected at random through the Rafflecopter widget.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

ENJOY!

Oh the Glamours of Cycling

2013-04-12T10:05:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I think I look like this on my bike...

Source

But from recent experience I learned that this is not always achievable. I'm going to tell you something about cycling which I like to think is taboo.

I am brave and I think it's time to tell you about the REAL world of cycling.

Because when it's a sunny day and the birds are chirping and you think how nice it would be to go on a spring ride.

BEWARE

If you haven't noticed, there are quite a lot of scraggly pigeons in this city, eating up London's finest leftover chicken shop food and tucking into Friday nights discarded kebabs. Well, these pigeons obviously don't take the underground to get from Finsbury Park to Soho and choose aerospace as their chosen method of transport (which I guess is fine as they don't use petrol and flying can help them keep in shape). However, this means us humans pedalling on the ground may be the target of unwanted droppings from the urban pigeon.

And that my friend, is what happened to me last Friday. I have censored the image as it is too revolting to plaster of the internet in it's natural form and I wouldn't want to jeopardise any future employment opportunities for myself.

Oh, and on the Monday I rolled my front tyre in some dog pooh which I then had to watch go round and round and round on my commute on Tuesday.

So my bicycle friends, cycling isn't always 'cycle chic'.

And time to dismount

2013-04-03T07:43:00.000+01:00

Sweet Looooooooooooooord Jesus, there is a time and a place to dismount from your bike and take the slow pedestrian walk across the road and I have found that time and place!

It's The Strand and High Holborn during rush hour.

After following TFL's recommended cycle route to get me from Crouch End to Waterloo Bridge, I found myself cycling some of London's most terrifying and perilous roads where cycle infrastructure is zilch, nano, non-existent. Ok, ok, I already knew this, but I guess I've never really had so much trouble getting somewhere during rush hour before.

At the start of my commute, I was at ease with the calm traffic and simple roads, but then I stumbled into territory where cars, black cabbies and monstrous lorries rule the streets. I quickly learned where my place was and it was a difficult decision between the pavement and the gutter.

Throwing myself onto the sanctuary of the pavement, I walked the remainder of my route to Waterloo Bridge and I thought about how cycling on quiet back roads just doesn't work in central London (a point well made by the Alternative Department for Transport blog). Here is a taster of what I encountered:

+ Wide one way roads with multiple lanes occupied by buses and taxis - but no cycle lanes!

+ Monstrous lorries storming through junctions at peak times

+ Congested traffic on narrow lanes with limited shared space

+ And this Crazy of a junction on High Holborn. I thought I understood roundabouts and complex junctions but this one is ridiculous

+ Walking and cycling, I eventually made it to my work training session

But I decided that next time I'm going to call The Jetson's and HITCH ME A LIFT please!

Do you often have to walk part of your cycle route you are way too scared for your life?

Addison Lee - Redemption?

2013-03-26T09:02:00.002+00:00

So I was cycling along the same old boring road I always do under the grey, freezing cold skies which are always there whilst thinking about what it would be like if I had a turbo button on my bicycle, when out of nowhere a car overtook me using the WHOLE OTHER LANE FOR SPACE.

Yep, the whole other lane! I had ample room to wobble and jerk over the potholes as I pleased without fear of necking it into a passing car.

All thoughts of turbo buttons and hot days were dispelled as I looked ahead to catch a glimpse of this goodwill, safety driver and the set of wheels they were rolling in. And shock horror, it was an Addison Lee car ahead of me!

Addison Lee cabs got into hot water a year ago after big boss, John Griffin shamefully berated cyclists saying that cyclist deaths and injuries are largely the fault of cyclists and that drivers are not to blame. And what followed was a PR nightmare for Addison Lee with a protest and a boycott of their services. (Griffin obviously wasn't clever enough to realise that many of his customers are cyclists)

Addison Lee cabs have never been a favourite amongst the cycling community, they are like black flies on the road persistently buzzing around you waiting for a cheap move to cut you up. They are also enemies with fellow black cabbies after Griffin encouraged his staff to flout the law and drive in bus lanes.

With cyclists and black cab drivers uniting in April last year, it was evident that Addison Lee cabs were the most hated vehicles on the roads of London. So fancy my surprise to find that an Addison Lee driver had been considerate and careful when passing me on the road. It is such a rarity that a driver uses the other lane to pass me, even when they is no traffic on either side of the road, let alone being an Addison Lee taxi driver.

I have been aware that to improve their disastrous image, Addison Lee have been working with Cycle Training UK offering taxi specific cycle training for their drivers. I also can't remember the last time an Addison Lee driver cut me up on the road, which was a frequent occurrence in the past.

Coincidentally, in the last year Griffin seems to have accrued a bicycle (see below), but is having trouble getting out of the AddLee car park. Perhaps he's scared he might get cut up by one of his car drivers and be on his maiden voyage into the abyss. Or maybe he's just waiting for his high-vis gear to arrive from Wiggle.

Mr Griffin 'takin' muh bike fo' uh ride Ya' know what I'm sayin'?' Source: Cab4now.com

So what does this mean?

Does this mean that Addison Lee really have improved their reputation and relationship with cyclists? Are they now polite, considerate road users, happy to share the tarmac with bicycles? Or was my experience just a one off? Either way, I'm still reluctant to hop into their cabs...

UPDATE: Hot of the Twitter press, Stagecoach West Ham bus drivers are also receiving cycle training with Cycle Training UK. Let the revolution begin!

Red Raw Thumbs

2013-03-15T14:52:00.002+00:00

I know it's hard but nobody told me about this!

The skin on my thumbs has turned red raw from cycling in the cold. And nope, you can't see it on this picture and yes, I have been wearing gloves, I'm not a maniac for goodness sake. Nobody told me about this when I signed up to this cycling in winter malarky!

As you all seem to be blissfully unaware of this horrific ailment one can get from cycling in adverse weather conditions, I guess I'll have to be the one to warn you all about it... SO COUNT THIS AS YOUR WARNING!

I have had to purchase soothing baby bum butter lotion to nourish my pitiful injury and recover my skin back to the softness of my baby years. I'll let you know once I have made a full recovery.

In the meantime....stay strong.

My Green Wheels - The Charge Hob 3

2013-03-08T10:39:00.005+00:00

Eagle-eyed HelpMyChainCameOff! wizard readers out there would have noticed that I have been sporting some serious green wheels. Are you green with envy?

Going by the famous formula adopted by bicycle crazies (n+1) with 'n' being the number of bicycles one currently owns, I realised that I didn't have enough bikes in my repertoire to call myself the Chief Cyclist of North London. However, I'm not failing nearly as bad as this guy who must think the formula is n-1.

Source: http://www.feizi-gallery.com/artist.asp?id=89 by Zhao Huasen

Somebody give him a bike please.

So continuing my bid to be Chief Cyclist of North London I thought I would present to you the wheels I am currently riding.

Bought through the Bike2Work scheme whereby I pay my bicycle off every month through my salary (because I am poor) and omit paying a pension because.....well...the economy is screwed, so why not? I selected the Charge Hobb 3 bicycle for it's handsome characterists and Britishness. The Olympics may be a distant memory but I can at least pretend that I am a GB rider everyday, especially as it is plastered on the frame in case you forgot.

I even managed to shove my slightly rusty back rack from my vintage bicycle onto the bike and invested in a 'proper' lock. And don't worry! I have two locks so do not fret..

There is no battle of the sexes here, this bike is made for both men and women. Being unisex doesn't make it any less comfortable, I find it easy to hop on and off the bicycle, even wearing skirts. And it is is remarkably nifty and perfect for nipping in out of traffic.

Being used to women's bicycles with seats more soft and cushioned than my sofa, this seat looked pretty scary when I wheeled it out of the shop, but actually it's the most comfortable bike seat I have ever had the honour of sitting on.

Thankfully the striking, glittering green paint hasn't encouraged me to become a Frogger cyclist yet and my seat remains at the appropriate height for legs to push the pedals down.

I have fallen in love with smart features such as these:

And the three gears is plentiful for my city riding. The other day I even managed to overtake a MAMIL, which is truly a remarkable acheivement seeing that I don't wear skin tight fabric exposing inappropriate lumps all in the name of reducing my air resistance by a fraction.

Having sturmy archer gears, I can change gears when stationery meaning I win the race of setting off quickly at traffic lights. This bodes well for my Chief Cyclist of North London bid.

I have even spotted a couple of men eyeing my wheels up which is a first in my cycling memory. Shame that I am a galumpher and have already got some major chips and scratches, dust and rust forming. But hey, that's what happens when you cycle in potholes and grit and ugly British weather. Still I need to learn to give this darling bicycle a bath every now and then if I want to avoid maintenance problems. Ideally I would have liked it to have a chain guard but I understand that it would have reduced the sleek, chic appearance of the bike and obviously I'm too young to be 'practical'.

I haven't migrated my burger bicycle bell to this bicycle yet so I am currently *bringless* when it comes to turfing pedestrians out of my path. I'm sure this isn't really a problem seeing that the high-viz brigade clear the paths before me in the mornings from any unyielding pedestrians. Thanks guys!

I am a big fan of this bicycle so far and I hope to take him out for some romantic bicycle adventures this year and engage in a mutual marriage of appreciation.

Holy Sunday cycling

2013-03-02T08:38:00.001+00:00

Apart from commuting like crazy on my two wheels, I haven't had much time to bike ride purely for pleasure. I can now say HALLELUJAH because in the same week we said goodbye to the Pope Benedict XVI, I found myself free as a frog on Sunday, so I hopped on my bike to see what was and wasn't going down in the great London pond. And I thought you guys would want to know because why else do you check in here?

Off I shimmied to the wonders of Soho hoping I would catch the Pope celebrating his retirement outside G-A-Y with a Jagerbomb and a dayglo stick in hand. That was not to be.

But hey, Chinatown was HAPPENING instead!

And when I say 'happening', I mean HelpMyChainCameOff! has turned into a Chinese lucky cat. Happy as Larry.

But uh oh....My ride to Soho and China town wasn't all lucky....

My favourite bike crossing button has been vandalised in the worst act of football hooliganism we have seen since the 80's.

Surely there are so many more important things to politicise than Arsene Wenger?.....Like will I ever wear high-vis? Or will Andrew Mitchell (aka Plebgate victim) EVER get back on his basket bike again?

Source: Thesun.co.uk

WHO KNOWS? But never mind, I was on the look out for a partying Pope...and yes, I do indeed love London.

Just as much as I love Torrington Place when it's free from on the crazy weekday traffic.

And popping to the Oxford Street Topshop to stand in the refunds queue for half an hour.

But I am blessed because all is forgiven when there are Japanese noodles to nourish my Sunday bicycle woes.

But where is that Pope Benedict now that he is a free man??

Why he must be catching up on his favourite blog HelpMyChainCameOff! instead...

'Oh, high-vis just sooo isn't Godly' Source: Catholic Sensibility

Longer Bicycle Days

2013-02-19T11:18:00.001+00:00

After exclaiming last week how I was at breaking point from cycling in the cold weather, I was delighted to find that the sun has finally put his righteous hat on and has treated us to a taster of Spring! The sunny weather arrived just in the nick of time before I bought an oyster travel card and became angry tube passenger.

And even more important is that it is now light outside when I leave work! The day you cycle home from work in daylight is always a landmark in any bicycle commuter's calendar and signifies the end of flashing disco bike lights and dare I mention it (because I know that everyone is very fond of these) but the end of donning those fluorescent yellow jackets. Can I tempt you to come to terms with letting go and wearing a normal jacket which doesn't look like you're a) working in a building site or b) going to a 90's drum and bass rave? Well? #Just putting it out there.

Putting gaudy bicycle attire aside, I have decided to celebrate the longer days and fair weather because, well you know, I'm british and I love the subject! I'm sharing with you my jubilant ride home in daylight last Friday evening.

I'm free!

Whitecross Street

Passing over Regent's Canal

Upper Street

Broken traffic lights attracted policemen in leather trousers. Not my favourite sight.

Nearly home now

I want to live in this house

I hope you all enjoy the lighter evenings!

Misery

2013-02-13T09:01:00.000+00:00

Trying to muster up inner strength to face the chill

Man alive, is it me or did the weather forget all about that lovely beaming thing in the sky called the sun? The last three months have finally taken a toll on me. Winter has nearly defeated me and my bike cruising ways. Usually I am defiant in the face of rain and snow but the last few days have caused me great misery. Yes, cycling is fun and it’s great to be committed to cycling whatever the weather but I have a threshold and for the first time in my life I have nearly gone over it. Life on two-wheels has become mighty challenging.

For example:

+ My gloves have officially become my chief nose wiping instrument. Snotting onto my gloves I'm sure wasn’t the plan for their lovely glove life and now they resemble snot rags. Hey ho.

+ My right eye has spent the winter permanently streaming making me look like I am forever mourning the loss of mild weather. As a consequence, my eye makeup on my right cheek is permanently smudged making me look like I work in a coal mine.

+ Sometimes both snot AND tears run into my mouth when cycling and I get confused and don't quite know what to make of the curious taste.

+ The sleet, snow and icy wind has dried out my face like a ugly prune and I am now concerned that my youthful looks are a distant memory.

+ My lips and hands have also suffered from chill burns.

+ The sticky, dirty snow of late has tarnished my once beautiful sparking green bicycle.

+ And the dark nights are making me feel like I am a cycling vampire.

Winter is giving me major first world pains. Are you fed up yet?

Will I manage to last the rest of February commuting every day? Will my eye stop streaming? And what will become of my ‘snot-ragged-gloves’? Stay tuned kids….

The Vulpine Merino Jersey

2013-02-11T07:48:00.003+00:00

Bicycle heroes and villains, MAMILs and froggers, messengers and roadies, lone wolves and righteous cyclists, yes everyone who loves their bicycle should now rejoice because I give you a cycling brand which offers simplicity and style without a spec of lycra to be seen! Yes, lycra has been replaced with cosy, merino wool from New Zealand's finest sheep. Unflattering figure hugging apparel have been relegated in favour of classic, modern style and it's brought to you by the wonders of Vulpine.

Specifically I'm talking about some hydrophilic, antibacterial sheep action going on in the form of the VULPINE MERINO BUTTON JERSEY!

So here we are, the first piece of cycle apparel I have ever worn. Voted by Road CC as 'Women's garment of 2012', the button jersey sure is sleek with its modern shape offering hint of 60's charm. I have been sporting this gem of a jersey through the cold, snowy commutes and the drizzly January rain and it is is proving to be wonderfully snug. Claiming to be exceptionally odour proof, I thought I'd put this antibacterial fabric through it's paces and wear it on one of my runs. Indeed there was not a whiff of a pong afterwards! (Please bear in mind that I am like the Queen and of course don't perspire).

Not only does it looks stylish and can go with many items in my wardrobe, but it also has a supercool pocket on the lower back which is a perfect size for a bag of my favourite Haribo Starmix sweets! The silicon waist gripper stops the jersey riding up and exposing the bits of flesh which rather look better hidden.

It's incredibly soft and comfortable to ride in and looks great teamed with a pair of jeans. Being available in either blue or black, I'm impressed that it doesn't come in any vomit-inducing, tacky colours which the cycling world is strangely fond of. This is a garment which will will work all year round layered up in the winter, or teamed with some nice shorts in the summer. Indeed I am very much looking forward to what Vulpine will offer female cyclists in the future.

Social media wizards, Nick Hussey and Velo-City-Chic's, Jools Walker are the ultimate Twitter tag team and have worked hard promoting the Vulpine brand. If you haven't heard of them then pedal a little bit faster folks! Or pop along to one of the cycling fetes they are so good at organising (next one is in Manchester this weekend, 16th & 17th Feb).

This garment gets the Help! My Chain Came Off salute, well done Vulpine!

Wear You Skirt With Pride : How to Cycle in a Skirt in Winter

2013-01-21T09:08:00.000+00:00

What's this? Snow eh?

Winter is here and it is chilly, but don’t go ditching those skirts in your wardrobe in the name of Mr. Practicality! Oh no, for I believe that the winter months allow the female cyclist to wear a variety of skirts, more than in summer in fact. 'Oh hello? What do you mean?' I hear you cry. Well, yes, hello my reader friend! If I have to spell it out then fine. That's what I'm here for....

In winter the rules for wearing a skirt to cycle in are different and the main reason for this is the humble tight (or pantyhose as those across the pond like to call it). 100 denier or fine wool, when teamed with a skirt, tights are my best friend on dark, winter bicycle rides. And it's not just warmth they provide but COVERAGE. Here are the reasons why you should carry on wearing skirts and how you can get away with going a few inches shorter if you wish:

NUMBER ONE – Wearing black tights means that even if you do flash a little bit of your nether region then no one will be any the wiser. All you can see is darkness! So all those sleazy van drivers out there who actively wind down their window to stick their head out to check you (yes this happens) can go and stick their head in their concrete mixer instead. Thick wooly tights are practically like leggings, there is no way you will reveal any surprises. Dignity in tact, phew!

NUMBER TWO – On the subject of leggings, why not stick a pair over your tights if you are feeling the chill? This will add extra warmth and comfort and 100% pant coverage under your skirt. Plus, it’s easy to take off when you arrive at your destination without too much fumbling in the toilets.

Whatcha looking at?

Yep, thighs of steel, I know I know...

NUMBER THREE – Oh, how I love the humble winter coat. This is the ultimate in bottom half coverage. Most winter coats fall below the waist which is a lifesaver if you want to sport the mini-skirt on a bicycle when going on a night out. The winter coat adds extra coverage around the saddle and the sides of your legs as demonstrated above. Buttoning your coat up also means that your lap is also covered up.

So you see, don’t ditch wearing a skirt on your bicycle this winter, just make sure to buy some snug tights or leggings to keep you warm and dignified!

Confronting Bad Car Drivers

2013-01-09T08:43:00.000+00:00

I’ve been getting my game on lately and standing up for my little patch of pot-holed concrete I share with other road users. By getting my 'game on', I don't mean pelting passed all those mini-wheeled Brompton diva's out there.... I mean being more vocal to car drivers who have very nearly rammed their big fat car into me.

Building up enough confidence to ride your bicycle in a city is one thing, but being able to speak to car drivers about their misdemeanors is another. I have always been the kind of cyclist that when you get cut up, you deal with it and carry on.

I'm not sure why I have started to speak up, maybe it's because those near misses have happened just one too many times, or maybe it's because I have been reading up about that unorthodox Superman style character called 'Traffic Droid'.

Whatever the reason may be, I have found myself giving the Help!MyChainCameOff dressing down to a few people of late*. I only really chirp up when I've been the target of the kind of near miss which makes you wish you had an ejection seat like this guy:

But I don't, so instead I have to say to the driver that their actions had put me in danger.

For example, I was cruising my way to Stoke Newington on a Friday night when some kind of East End gangster and his mate slammed right passed me with only a fraction of space between us. I’m no Tony Soprano but I knew these guys were just softies at heart. At the traffic lights I knocked on their cheap blacked out windows and explained that they had driven far too close to me. The driver reassured me that he was a good driver and that I shouldn't worry (Oh...ok then, I see, that makes sense??!).

So I said-

'Hey you, I could have been a child on my bicycle or a nervous rider, how do you think they would feel, HEY?'

And they were like-

'So sorry Lady, we won't do it again, have a good evening.'

They finished off the sentence with a nice smile which I returned. And that was the end of the Help!MyChainCameOff dressing down.

Do you ever attempt to speak to car drivers who have cut you up? And has it ever gone disastrously wrong?

*Please note that I am not transforming into Traffic Droid's Superwomen counterpart, no way Jose!

HAPPY NEW BICYCLE YEAR

2012-12-31T11:03:00.000+00:00

Why look at us, another year has passed with more bicycle miles underneath our belts! I do hope you had a swell Christmas break. I spent mine in Berlin, a place where Milka (the god of all Euro snacks) is only €0.79 a bar and where the beer is plentiful and Radfahren its immer willkommen!

Snaps from Berlin, soviet style

2012 was a pedaltastic year, I have cycled the most amount of miles I ever have in my life and my thighs are now the widest they have ever been in my life. Oh how my muscles will gleam through a pair of cigarette jeans I plan to buy in January!

Looking to 2013 I aim to get those chunky bike thighs over to Holland because I heard a few little bike people mention that it's rad for cycling? Yes? And I also hope to pump up my tyres at least once a fortnight because in 2012 I got a puncture in my PUNCTURE RESISTANT TYRES! All because I didn't keep them pumped up. So as a result, 2012 will see me learning to love the bicycle pump.

I will also keep blogging to you fellow bicycle scenesters about my trusty bicycle commute to work and all my other two-wheeled gallivanting I do. Oh and talking about bicycle scenesters, I have found the original BICYCLE HIPSTER. This dude was rocking the bicycle chic look before most of us were even born. Man, are they even headphones around his neck?

And with that, I wish you a HAPPY NEW BICYCLE YEAR! Make sure to keep drinking and keep cycling for a Merry ol' time. This chap knows how to do it.

My Cycle Training Moves Two Months On

2012-12-19T10:13:00.000+00:00

That's not my house

Back in October, I wrote a post about the cycle training session I had with David Dansky from Cycle Training UK. David is a connoisseur of the roads and I was lucky enough to get some tuition on how I really should be cycling instead of how I think I should be cycling. He gave me plenty of tips to make me the official Safety Queen I've always wanted to be.

It's taken a while to get used to, yes, and sometimes I slip back into my old lazy habits but I am certainly much more aware of my own conduct on the roads than I was before. There are three nifty moves which I have implementing on my rides:

♫Looking back, over my shoulder ♫

Doubling the amount of times I look over my shoulder has made a MAJOR impact in the way I cycle. For example, a private driver in a blacked out friggin monster BMW was way too keen to plough passed me on a single filter lane the other day. I took the primary position and whipped my head over my shoulder to give him the 'don't even try it' look. Yeah, I had to repeat the move 5 times because he seemed to be getting trigger happy with the revving but in the end he finally got the hint and backed off. Before my training, I think I would have only looked behind maybe once in this situation which isn't enough communication for a driver who is pushy and intimidating. It's not all bad though, I also have a good 'Well hello there, I'm just here!' gaze in my repertoire. I save that for the good guys!

Primary love

If you're not with the cycling lingo then don't worry, riding in primary pretty much means get yourself in the centre of the lane and stick to your guns. Great for narrow roads where it would be dangerous to let a driver over take you because of lack of space and it's particularly useful to avoid being flawed by someone opening a car door on you.

I've been rocking the primary move on many of the back roads on my commute. This move is perfect partnered with the 'don't even try it' or 'I'm just here' stare as explained above.

♫Don't go braking my heart♫

I get a C+ for this move because I keep catching myself not doing it! Resting your hands on your brakes is important in case you need to emergency stop because a dustbin or a dead rat is lying in your path (just normal street furniture of the roads of Islington). Unfortunately I get too carried away with the thrill of gliding down the road hanging back like I'm a bicycle gangster.

Like my Physics school report once said 'room for improvement'. Getting better at resting my hands on my brakes is going on my New Years resolution list.

With all these moves combined, I now feel confident in cycling around any of London's crazy roads, even through the City of London which has always been scary and off putting for me. Oh and before I go! I forgot to mention one more manoeuvre which I have found valuable on my commute and that is filtering to the front of traffic via the right hand side. With the boost of confidence I got from my training session, I now ignore the inadequate cycle paths which encourage cyclists to travel on the left and I fearlessly pedal on the right of traffic at junctions. I've even learned how super fast it makes your journey and it's so much more safer than sliding down the left where drivers may not see you and you are at risk of vehicles turning left.

I'd like to once again thank David for offering the training for me, he really has shown me a better, safer way of pedalling around the city. If you are interested in Cycle Training then visit the Cycle Training UK website. Also, some local authorities may offer the training free, I know the Borough of Islington does.

King of the Road

2012-12-05T09:42:00.000+00:00

This year has been like winning the Oscars for me, first I win my work Bake Off competition with my devilishly gooey chocolate brownies and then I win the Levi Commuter #weride competition and land myself a lean, mean bicycle machine! Actually he's really quite the Gentleman bicycle. I just can't help calling these suave two wheels KING OF THE ROAD.

When Levi's contacted me about winning, I had no idea what type bike I was going to get except I knew it was made by the brand Charge. As soon as I heard it was ready I dashed straight to Regent's Street, gawped at those Marmite Christmas lights (what are they about?) and dashed into the Levi's shop. A kind assistant wheeled out of the stock room this beautiful and extra long bicycle before my eyes.

After a little chuckle of delight and surprise, I became the proud owner of the King of the Road!

But wait! How on earth was I going to fit this giant through my flat? I told you a few weeks back all about my manoeuver tactics to store my bike. Now I was going to have to pull out the big guns and rely on my Tetris tesselating skills. My first obstacle was the lift.....will it fit?

Oh yes it does! But only just!

My second obstacle was my narrow front door...

Oh yes it fits! But only just!

And my last obstacle was the balcony, where it proudly takes up the whole space like the chief bicycle it really is.

I have been riding the Charge Steamer everyday ever since. I am the KING OF THE ROAD!

Goodbye My Dear Bicycle

2012-11-28T09:49:00.000+00:00

Last Sunday was a sad, sad day. It was time to say goodbye to my Raleigh Caprice forever. It's nothing personal, my balcony has just run out of space. It's not her, it's me.

To be honest, she has been having a few long term health issues and has been victim of neglect this past year. As a result she has become malnourished with pretty much no air in her tyres, her skin has turned all rusty and there is something not quite right with her pedals. Call the Social Bicycle Services please!

I decided that a new home with a new owner will do her some good. So last Sunday I plonked her outside the front of my block with a friendly sign.

When I left 20 minutes later she was gone. I wish her good luck and I hope she gets the make over she deserves. SHE DESERVED BETTER THAN ME. Godspeed my Raleigh Caprice, I will never forget you!x

Toasty Winter Cycling

2012-11-23T15:03:00.003+00:00

My new hot, hot gloves for cold, cold rides

Golly gosh, have you been caught out by the cold weather yet out on the bicycle? I caught quite a winter chill when I went on the Sustrans Autumn Wheels bike ride. Ok, so wearing a thin pair of tights might not have been the most sensible item to wear, but sheer tights are in Vogue YEAH? Even Madonna is wearing them.

Sheer tights on the Sustrans bike ride...brrrrrrrrrrr

Cycling in the cold isn't always jolly so I'm calling for ACTION! It's time to bring out the big guns and I'm talking about those granny knits which have been tucked away for 9 months. Remember my ‘Jacket Potato- esque’ look last winter? Well this chunky jumper is making a comeback and will be reunited with my bicycle at long last.

But I can't just rely on my jumper to keep me warm, I need increase my layers so I'm looking to add a few sneaky warm additions to my bicycle wardrobe, keeping it pure cycle chic of course!

I’m ditching my wool gloves in favour of vintage sheepskin gloves I bought last weekend (see photo above). These old timers are mighty thick and I'm a little concerned that they might immobilise the use of my fingers, but hey, as long as can still ring my burger bell then that's all that matters!

I have recently discovered the delights of VeloVixen, a company offering beautiful women's cycle clothing or in other words not shrill pink, ugly, monstrosities you see all to often in cycle retail! I'm swooning over their clothing range almost as much as I'm swooning over their super sweet romantic story about how they came up with the idea of VeloVixen #gush.

So taking inspiration from their website, I think a pair of Ana Nichoola arm warmers would be ideal to make me feel snug. I have also got my eye on this Icebreaker Merino Oasis Crewe as a base layer to sneak under my big fat wool jumper.

Comfy Arm Warmers

Base Layer

So when the air is brisk and London looks like this...

Beautiful Battersea Power Station

I should be the toastiest cyclist that has ever hit the streets of London!...Now just got to add them to my Christmas list! How are you planning to keep warm on the bicycle this winter?

Storing my bicycle

2012-11-08T11:20:00.003+00:00

Lack of space for storing a bicycle can be an issue if you live in a city. When I lived in Brighton, I didn’t have any bicycle storage. I had to watch my bicycle rust away all alone outside in the sea air. Now living in London I am delighted that I have a flat with a little bicycle sized balcony offering protection from those pesky bike stealers and the worst of the British weather.

The only problem is that it is a bit of a mission to get my bicycle to the fourth floor of my block and through my flat to the balcony. I have to squash it in the lift (which I am VERY thankful for having!) and dodge the walls, furniture and the hallway through my flat.

Myself and the walls of my flat are always victim to scrapes and bruises from the sharp pedals on my bike. At least my arms get a workout each day with the heavy lifting!

To show you a little part of my journey to get my bicycle into my flat, I have made a GIF animation below. This is from arriving at my front door onwards.

When it rains this operation is most unpleasant, no one likes to carry a dripping wet bicycle through their lounge!!

How do you store your bike? And do you have any tricky manoeuvres you have to do?

Championing Active Travel

2012-11-01T09:32:00.002+00:00

Active travels my name and Champions my game, oh yeaaah I am an Active Travel Champion! That's right, I will now be championing the wonders of cycling and walking to all those nearest and dearest and the wider community around the radius of where I live. It's a voluntary position I have taken with the charity Sustrans. To quote from their website, 'Active Travel Champions are volunteers who help people be more active through walking or cycling for more of their everyday journeys.'

That's me!

And check out my super cool T-shirt and badge #sheriffstyle

It's all well being given a T-shirt but I need to make sure I have champion related occasions to wear it! I have a few projects I am planning to do and the first is speaking to my work colleagues in my next team meeting about cycling and walking and my new volunteering position. I also would like to plan a haunted themed bicycle ride and invite colleagues/ friends/ community people who wouldn't normally take to two wheels.

Bicycle art at the Sustrans London Office

It's not in my nature to be aggressive in my approach to promoting cycling and walking, I prefer to just offer a little encouragement to those who would like to try it but don't know where to start. I am super excited to have another bicycle related thing in my life in addition to this blog because you can never have enough bicycle related things hey!

Oh and by the way, do you fancy going on a pretty Autumn bicycle ride or walk in London? Sustrans have arranged an 'Autumn Wheels and Wandering day' on 10th November from Buckingham Palace to Richmond Park. You are invited! It will be a jolly ride/ walk led by Sustrans volunteers, which means I will be there, oh yeah! Donning my Sheriffs badge and red T-shirt.

If you would like to come along, make sure to register by e-mailing kate.meakin@sustrans.org.uk. Friends, family, everyone is welcome.

Over and out.

Teaching New Cyclists

2012-10-25T10:34:00.000+01:00

Keep it in your pannier!

Can you remember when you first learned how ride a bicycle? My first experience seems to have been erased from my memory. I can only assume that I must have been born with the knowledge of how to pedal from the day I was born! Unfortunately not everyone has my luck and there are many people who have never had the opportunity to learn to ride, or did so when they were young and have now forgotton.

If you know anyone who wants to cycle but they don't know how to or where to start then do not fear because Cycle Training UK is here! Oh yes, of course you remember when I first introduced you to this friendly organisation earlier this month. They gave me a much needed cycle training session to brush up on my bicycle moves.

Continuing my 'cycle training theme' which is emerging of late (I am a safety queen don't you know), it is only right to introduce you to a handy little guide called 'Teaching New Cyclists'. This guide offers a helping hand (or push!) for those who want to show they friends/ colleagues / loved ones / children how to start travelling on two wheels without hitting the ground (much).

One thing I love about this guide is that it is for everyone of all ages. Learning to ride a bicycle when you are an adult is nothing to be embaressed about so don't be afraid to get up to speed!

The pages are scattered with pictures of both children and adults learning to cycle. I have also discovered that someone who learned to ride when they were young but have now forgotten is called a 'false beginner'. This is because,

'...you never forget to ride a bicycle. According to neuroscientists, once you have learnt to balance the technique is forever encoded in your brain!'

Each section of the guide covers the different stages of teaching someone to cycle, from pushing the bike to balancing and making the bike go. It even contains the Bikeability Riding Syllabus so you can guide the person you are helping to become a fully fledged confident cyclist (just don't show them the Lycra section in Evans Cycles - you don't want to put them off!)

Now that the nation is going crazy for cycling, it is your duty as a cyclist to keep an eye out for those who are mere chicks to the world of two wheels and who may want to learn how to ride a bike for the first time! Who knows...a new learner may one day they may become just like Victoria Pendleton or Bradley Wiggens, but not Lance Armstrong please.

Have you ever tried teaching someone how to ride?

My Autumn Cycling Wish list

2012-10-16T09:26:00.000+01:00

Weekend Autumn bicycle trips are the best. I love the chilly, crisp air and the golden leaves fluttering from the trees. I love dodging the conkers and chestnuts on the ground and seeing the imprints of pretty leaves on the road.

Everyone keeps going on about this Merino wool stuff, which I'm sure is wonderful, but does it look as cool as tartan trousers, a chiffon blouse and the most stylish rucksack in the whole ride world? This is my Autumn cycling wish list. Unfortunately my dentist bill will mean that I might just have to longingly gaze at these items instead of 'cat-cycling' them around town.....Maybe next Autumn hey...

1 ASOS Bow Blouse / 2 Whistles Car Coat / 3 NW3 Elm Trouser / 4 Sandqvist Leather Bag / 5 Russell and Bromley Patent Brogues / 6 American Apparel Wool Blend Gloves

My cycle training session

2012-10-11T14:09:00.000+01:00

I aced my training!

When it comes to cycle safety, I have always resorted to the trusty knowledge I gained from the cycling proficiency course I took circa 1994. Being about 10 years old, I was more interested in my new flowery socks my Mum had bought from M&S rather than flapping my arm up and down to signal slowing down (do people even do that?). The course took place on a quiet cul-de-sac in a quiet town, so it wasn't surprising that I didn't learn any lifelong bicycle techniques such as filtering to the front of traffic and tackling multiple lane roundabouts.

Navigating around a busy city has taken practice and experience and I now like to think that I have the gift of the gab when it comes to cycle safety. Yes, I may not have the fluorescent jacket or a helmet to match, but I like to think I have good road awareness and patience at traffic lights. I bask in the ability to speed around London's congested streets leaving a flutter of flower petals as I pass. What more could I possibly learn?...

David Dansky from Cycle Training UK kindly offered me a cycle training session which turned out to be one of the most interesting and fun cycle experiences I have ever had. Can you teach an experienced cyclist new tricks? Indeed my friend, you can!

Firstly, David showed me some basic bicycle maintenance checks. Within five minutes I had learnt more about my bicycle than I ever have my whole life. Who would have known that the recommended tyre pressure is written on my wheels? Now THAT explains why there is a gauge on my pump!

Signalling clearly with an open palm

Then we practiced making turns to avoid things such as potholes, a very useful maneuver considering some of the craters I have to frequently dodge! He showed me how to emergency stop, a move which involves pushing my bottom off the saddle backwards to prevent flinging over the handle bars. I think I need a little more practice!

It was raining during the training session, but I was so engrossed in what I was learning that I didn't really notice or care. We peddaled our way around Islington taking it turns to take the lead. David showed me the importance of looking behind me frequently and the ability to control the traffic around me using the power of clear signalling and eye contact. What a difference this seems to make!

Busy roundabouts have always been quite scary and I am never sure which lane I should be in. We tackled Highbury corner three times in rush hour and now I am the roundabout queen!

I am more confident in approaching traffic on the right hand side and I learnt to take the primary position on most of the roads I travel down. Many roads are narrow so it is safer to take the primary position and you won't really be holding up the drivers because they can't go fast down backstreets anyway.

David was a very calm, friendly instructor and made me feel at ease the whole time. Whether you are a beginner or a confident cyclist, I highly recommend this cycle training, it has given me a whole new refreshing take on the way I cycle!

At the end of the two hours, David and I sat in a cafe and chatted about all things cycling. Now that I have my eye on the drivers a lot more, I'll be able to cast them under a spell, a spell which says ' keep back dude!' or ' take over me with lots of space, cowboy!'.

It was a wonderful evening and I am looking forward to testing my new bicycle wizard safety knowledge on the roads in the coming months. I'll let you know how it goes!

You can pop over to the Cycle Training UK website to find out more about their training.

Cycling London to Brighton

2012-10-02T10:52:00.000+01:00

Turning a year older means another birthday to celebrate. This year I decided I wanted one to remember, so I went to Waterstones and bought the finest road map I could find and planned a bicycle ride to Brighton. The planning ended up being slightly rushed being at midnight on the eve of my birthday, but I didn't want to pass up my dinner at OTTELENGHIS, the most wizard restaurant in all of Islington.

The Planning

After consulting with the TwitterSphere, you fine folk suggested that the best way to navigate a long ride is by using a good, old fashioned hard copy map. Something I was pleased about because I didn't fancy dipping my toe in the MAMIL pond and buying bike GPS or fancy phone etc. However in retrospect, perhaps GPS would have been more sensible because my route planning ended up being quite complex. Like a birthday trifle, it was made up of three parts:

Part One - Crouch End to Tooting

Using my trusty (and very battered) TFL cycle map, I planned the route to take me into the city, over Blackfriars Bridge and onto the CS7 all the way to Tooting.

Part Two - Tooting to Copthorne

This is where I used my creative skills. The road map I bought doesn't show the quiet country lanes, so for this part of the journey I took photos of a detailed map I found online using my phone. Tricky, but it worked!

Part Three - Copthorne to Brighton

Time to whip out the road map where I marked the route to follow the B2028 and B 2112 to Brighton.

The Ride

After opening my lovely presents and finally getting that handbag hugger which I first saw on Velo-City-Girl, we set off at 8am for the big birthday ride. Cycling through and out of London at rush hour was the one of the most challenging parts of the ride. It made me realise how easy and simple my cycle route through Islington to work is compared with navigating the quirks of the CS7, oh and trying to cross the river without getting squashed!

Once out of London, I felt free and easy, pedalling through beautiful, autumnal country lanes without a car in sight. What a delight! We even managed to stumble across this scenic spot for much needed refuelling.

Looks perfect doesn't it? Well, the ride wasn't all roses. It's something of a cliche now and I'm afraid to say it again, but my chain came off at least a dozen times! I think it's fair to say that this blog has cast spell over me and every bicycle I ride. I ended up having oily hands for the whole journey.

Oh, and try eating Japanese rice crackers after putting your chain on a gazillion times. And before you say it, no I didn't bring latex gloves or hand wash! I wouldn't want to risk squashing my packed lunch burrito with all that bicycle paraphernalia!

After lunch, we set back onto the road and found ourselves on the never ever ever ever ending B2028. It was something straight out of Groundhog day. To top it off, I had to experience the delights of Turner's Hill. Man oh man, it was quite a mission to get up that beast with just a couple of gears and no pavement to seek safety on. Once at the top, I knew I would be rewarded with downhill roads for a while until the big......Ditchling Beacon.

Once in Ditchling territory, the Beacon loomed in the distance like a big fat spot which won't go away. My supplies were getting low and I learnt a valuable lesson that 1 litre of water and a couple of orange juices do not cut the mustard for a day of cycling. Thankfully I stopped at a corner shop for an emergency purchase of water which made me feel better for the remaining miles. Unfortunately, Ditchling Beacon still hadn't gone away.

With just a few gears on my 80's mean machine, there was no way I was going to tackle such a hill and succeed. I have cycled London to Brighton before so knew what I was in for. I hopped off my bike and made the long walk up the hill. Once at the top, we were treated to views of Brighton and the South Downs. Cruising down the beacon into Brighton was a relief and deserved a refreshing birthday pint in the pub as a reward.

Thought the ride was over? I still had to get home! We caught the train back to Victoria and faced the 8 mile ride home to Crouch End. Getting through one way streets after a mammoth bicycle ride was an absolute killer!

And then I was home. With 80 miles and around 4000 calories under my belt, I zonked out and slept the aches away. It was a birthday I will never forget!

Have you cycled London to Brighton before? What route did you take?