In order to proceed with a stepparent adoption in California, the following legal requirements must be met:

• The adopting and legal parent must be legally married or in a domestic partnership registered with the state (Family Code 9000). If you are not married to, or domestic partners with, the child’s parent, you may still be able to adopt using the “second parent adoption” procedure. That is a very complex process, and will require the assistance of an attorney.
• The adopting parent must be at least 18 years old and at least 10 years older than the child (Family Code 8600-8601). The 10-year age difference may be waived in some situations.
• The adopting parent’s spouse or domestic partner must consent to the adoption (Family Code 8603).
• The child’s other legal parent must consent to the adoption. If you cannot locate the other parent, or if the other parent refuses to consent to the adoption, you may still be able to adopt the child. There are several different methods for finalizing a stepparent adoption without parental consent (Family Code 8604-8606).
• If the child is 12 years or older, the child must consent to the adoption (Family Code 8602).

      (Source:  Sacramento County Public Law Library)

Many times the adoption involves terminating the parental rights of an absent parent, and we hear lots of questions surrounding the issue of an absent parent.  One of the most frequently asked question is “What if the absent parent refuses to cooperate? “  There are numerous reasons why the absent parent refuses to cooperate, or sometimes they simply cannot be found.  Sometimes the absent parent may not have seen or supported the child in many years, and they refuse to cooperate even though the adoption would be in the best interest of the child.  When the child has gone without contact and support from the absent biological parent for a significant period of time (usually a year or longer), the absent parent can be treated by the Court under the law as an abandoning parent.

Another question we hear frequently is “How long does it take?”   Of course the answer is usually “it depends”!  If all parties are available and willing to sign the consent forms, the process can usually be accomplished in as little as four months.  If the absent parent is not cooperative, it can be a very lengthy process, but in most cases can be accomplished in a year.

Clients also ask, “How much does it cost?”  The cost varies depending on the complexity of your personal situation, so the best way to get an accurate estimate of how much your case will cost is to contact us and talk through the specifics of your case.  Our attorneys are highly experienced with handling child abandonment cases and providing termination of parental rights and stepparent adoptions; as a result, we have the background and skill set needed to expertly guide our clients through this delicate process, and we look forward to discussing your situation!

Disclaimer – The materials contained in this blog have been prepared for informational purposes only. The information contained is general in nature, and may not apply to particular factual or legal circumstances. In any event, the materials do not constitute legal advice or opinions and should not be relied up on as such.

There are many important items to address in a family business divorce strategy:

• On the financial side of things, a divorce strategy should address both tax planning and the valuation of the family business.  These things can greatly ease the monetary effects on the family business.  The valuation of a family business is often one of the most contentious pieces of a divorce, so bringing in an expert appraiser who is capable of explaining to both parties how he arrived at his number is crucial in getting both parties to agree on the company’s fair market value.

• If the family business was established prior to the marriage, a prenup can be one of the best ways to ensure the family business survives the destructive legal haggling that frequently accompanies the divorce process.  Prenups can be a touchy subject, but are crucial to entrepreneurs and those building family businesses (see last week’s post:  Prenups Aren’t Just for Celebrities).

• The divorce strategy should also consider the businesses employees and the impact of the break-up on the working relationships, especially if the divorce is antagonistic.  Sometimes employees feel forced to take sides, which can take a terrible toll on the business and make it difficult to keep the business running smoothly.  Often the question that is top of mind for employees is “what happens to us now?”  The divorce strategy should attempt to clarify this to ensure that morale remains high and the business continues to function efficiently.

• Ideally, the divorce strategy should also address how relationships will be handled – with clients, suppliers, banks, and joint partnerships.  Laying this out in advance can help mitigate the uncomfortable discussions that will have to occur in the event of a divorce.

• Lastly, agreeing on a collaborative divorce model in the family business divorce strategy can save piles of money that are often spent during a litigated divorce.  Too many times a divorce will drain the funds of a family business and force them to close the doors.  Privacy is another top reason that many business owners choose the collaborative divorce process.  Many family business owners want to avoid subjecting their colleagues, partners, or other family members to depositions or testifying in court. The collaborative divorce process is all about privacy.

Divorces that involve a family business are very complex, and it is important to have good legal help.  If you are interested in putting together a divorce strategy for your family business, please call us – we have expert family law attorneys who can guide you through the process.

Prenups have been on the rise in recent years, not surprisingly, considering the state of the economy and the financial crisis.  People are anxious to protect what they have left, and they are concerned about debt their spouse is carrying, coming into a marriage!  California is a “community property” state, which means that typically the divisions of the marital assets in a divorce are split 50/50, unless you have a prenuptial agreement.  A prenup allows you to override state laws, as long as it is properly executed.

There are some key tips to ensure that your prenup is “properly executed”.  Generally, attorneys recommend that a prenup be signed at least 30 days before the marriage, to avoid the appearance of coercion.  In addition, it’s very important that each spouse be represented by their own attorney.  From a legal perspective, it’s an inherent conflict of interest for one lawyer to represent both parties in a negotiation like this, because how can they have both spouses’ best interest in mind?

Marital assets that get divided generally include all income and property acquired during the marriage by either spouse.  This includes:  salary and bonuses that were deposited in bank accounts, real estate, business income, and benefits accrued in a 401(k) plan, pension, or IRA account.  Though your retirement account may be in your name, in belongs to both you and your spouse.

Many people are concerned that a prenup kills the romance of their impending marriage, which is totally understandable since nobody wants to talk about divorce and who gets what when you are planning a wedding!  However, when handled correctly, a prenuptial agreement offers an opportunity to discuss important financial issues, hopefully in a non-emotional sort of way, which can determine the financial constitution for the rest of your marriage.  And, when it is a voluntary discussion, it is much more likely that it will be a positive discussion, rather than a negative one.  A heart-to-heart financial discussion might be difficult to have, but no marriage is immune from financial decisions, and it sets the tone for future dialogue, so we recommend having those tough discussions up front!   Our attorneys are highly experienced in negotiating prenuptial agreements, so please call us if you have any questions.

Failing to create a new financial plan.  Now that you are newly single, it’s important to create new financial goals and a realistic budget.  It can be all too easy to hide your head in the sand, particularly if your ex-spouse was the major breadwinner, or was the decision-maker on important financial issues.  If you don’t know where to start, enlist the help of a financially savvy family member or friend, or work with a financial planner.

Trying to hang on to the house.  It can be tempting to want to keep your family home, especially if you have children and want to keep them feeling comfortable and stable in their environment.  However, this is not always the smart choice financially.  Some important questions to ask yourself first are:  Can you afford the mortgage on your income alone?  Can you handle the maintenance issues that may arise or afford to pay for it?  Can you afford the property taxes?  Making sure these questions are answered first, before deciding to keep the family home will help you make a sensible decision, not based purely on emotions.

Overlooking life insurance.  If you and your spouse have children, and one of you is paying child support, it is critical to make sure the person paying the child support has life insurance.  It’s an easy item to overlook, but if the person paying child support dies, the child support goes away.  Ideally, the requirement of life support should be included when negotiating your divorce settlement.

Keeping joint credit accounts.  It is best to cancel all joint accounts either during the divorce/separation process, or immediately after your divorce.  All too many people make the mistake of sharing credit cards or keeping both names on the mortgage.  Unfortunate circumstances occur frequently where one party doesn’t pay as agreed, or abuses the couple’s joint credit.  These situations can lead to financial disasters that take years to clear up.

Using revenge tactics or financial retribution.  We see these situations in movies, and sometimes in real life too.  One spouse racks up the credit cards to get revenge on their cheating partner, destroy possessions, or perform many other various actions to inflict emotional or financial pain on their ex.  However, in the long run, that only causes more financial headaches and lingering bitterness for both parties.  Though divorce is a highly charged emotional process, try to stay business-like.  It is in the best interest for you, your health and your family’s health to dissolve the relationship cleanly.

(Source:  5 money mistakes people make after divorce, MoneyRates.com)

For many complex reasons, victims of domestic violence (mainly women, although there are cases of domestic violence against men) have a difficult time leaving.  A lot of women have a very valid fear that leaving will only make their situation worse.  And they are right; we are not trying to sound dramatic, but leaving a violent relationship without careful planning can be fatal.  So in this week’s blog, we wanted to pass along some advice on how to reduce the risk, and leave safely.

Don’t go it alone.  Even if you are not ready to leave the relationship, please seek some kind of support.  Whether it is from friends, family, domestic violence professionals, your coworkers or your church, you need to talk to someone.  Talking through your situation will help you make a decision based on the facts, versus your feelings. Feelings are very unreliable sometimes, which leads us to point #2.

Expect your feelings to change.  It’s normal for a victim to feel wild emotional swings, which can range from deep feelings of love to fear and anger.  In addition, it’s normal to feel conflicted and guilty.  It’s best to accept your feelings, but know that you cannot rely on your feelings to make logical decisions for your future when you are in an abusive situation.

Plan to leave.   Unfortunately, most women who are victims of abused tend to wait until there is a severely abusive situation before they leave.  Experts say it is best to at least plan for the option to escape.  Take steps that include gathering pertinent documents (bank account numbers, birth certificate, SSN), as well as your most treasured items and a change of clothes, and leave these with a trusted friend.  Also, be sure to carry the phone number of a local domestic violence shelter with you at all times.

Be realistic when ending the relationship.  Experts advise not to end the relationship in person.  Instead, choose to do it by email or telephone, for obvious safety reasons.  In addition, be sure to let family and close friends know the situation in case he tries to contact you through them.  It is important to remember that you cannot be friends and you cannot trust him.

Refuse any contact once you leave.  This probably doesn’t need too much more detail, since we just covered this above, but once you leave, do not meet with him, or respond to phone calls, texts, or emails.  It is dangerous for you to do so, and is likely just a manipulative ploy on his part.

Develop a safety plan for the “worst case scenario”.  It is important to work with a domestic violence professional and plan for the potential dangers that may arise, now that you have left.  Some items that you will likely discuss are ways to avoid any habits or routines where you have to be or go somewhere alone, and making sure your social networking site settings are private.

Arm yourself with data and information.  Educate yourself regarding restraining orders, and get a referral for a family law attorney or advocate who can advise you.  It’s also a good idea to save any threatening emails, voicemails, texts or letters, in case you need them for future legal purposes.

As we said, domestic violence is a serious and complex issue, which we cannot fully cover in a short blog post.  However, we hope we have at least given you confidence, and some tips that may help you or someone you know leave a violent relationship safely.  As always, if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call our office.  We are here to help.

(Source:  How to Leave a Violent Relationship, www.psychologytoday.com)

Types of alimony include permanent, temporary, and rehabilitative alimony.  Permanent alimony is typically paid to the recipient until the death of the paying spouse, or in some cases, the remarriage of the recipient spouse.  Temporary alimony, on the other hand, lasts only for a specific amount of time.  In some cases it may apply when a couple is separated, and living separately, but are not divorced.  It is sometimes awarded in cases where the divorce has caused a financial hardship, so temporary alimony is awarded until that spouse can recover financially.  Rehabilitative alimony is typically awarded in cases where one spouse needs assistance with college tuition or job training, which enables them to re-enter the workforce.  It is common with wives who have been stay-at-home moms, and is key to them becoming financially independent again.  “Rehabilitative” in this case, is not meant to imply that the recipient is incapable of making a living or that some type of personal fault must be “corrected.” The term is offensive to some, but no other term has replaced it yet, so we will continue to use this common term.

A common question we hear is “What factors are considered in spousal support?”  Keeping in mind that state laws are all different, here are the factors that typically are considered when deciding whether spousal support is granted in California, and how much.  These factors are:

• Length of the marriage
• The age and health of each spouse
• The potential earning ability of each spouse, and whether it is sufficient to meet the needs according to the marital standard of living
• The extent to which the supported spouse helped support the other spouse in gaining an education or maintaining a career
• The payee’s assets and ability to pay
• The assets and separate property of each spouse
• The ability to gain employment without unduly interfering with the interests of dependent children in the custody of the party
• Any history of domestic violence between the spouses, including, but not limited to, consideration of emotional distress resulting from domestic violence perpetrated against the supported spouse by the supporting spouse, and consideration of any history of violence against the supporting spouse by the supported spouse party
• The tax consequences to both spouses
• The balance of the hardships to each spouse
• The goal for the spouse receiving the support shall be self-supporting within a reasonable amount of time.

As you can see, there are many points that are considered.  We believe that the best way to settle spousal support issues is while negotiating your divorce settlement.  We can help with that, through divorce mediation or the collaborative divorce process.  That way the control of spousal support is where it belongs…with you and your spouse.

Disclaimer – The materials contained in this blog have been prepared for informational purposes only. The information contained is general in nature, and may not apply to particular factual or legal

Researchers have found that the first three years after the divorce is the most critical time period that can affect children’s development.  3 out of 4 children weather their parent’s divorce and may emerge more resilient, but there is still the 1 in 4 that may struggle or stumble developmentally.  It is crucial that your child receives emotional support and guidance during this time to be part of the 75% that emerges more resilient.  Further, during these three crucial first years, children of different ages will react differently and need different types of support.

There are critical development tasks for children of different ages.  If parents know what to look for during these first three critical years after divorce, they can watch, assess, and intervene if necessary to help their children weather the divorce and thrive afterwards.

In early childhood (from birth to age 5), the most critical development tasks are secure attachments and willingness to explore the world around them.  Divorce parents need to ensure their young children are able to form, as well as maintain strong attachments.  These foundations are critical for exploration and learning, and if divorce stands in the way of forming these attachments, can have long-lasting effects.

In later childhood, socialization and literacy are among the critical development tasks.  Both school and family play major roles in these development tasks, and children who feel the effects of a stressful divorce can have trouble making friends, and even performing basic skills such as reading.  Parents should watch for their child’s ability to form friendships and be ready to intervene if the child exhibits difficulty completing schoolwork.  Research shows that children who fall behind in these areas have a very difficult time catching up to their peers, and can experience issues like low self-esteem.

Lastly, in the adolescent years, the most critical development task is the emergence of a personal identity, which is formed from the “tween” years through the teen years.  Identity is established through relationships; relationships with peers, parents, teachers, and other influential adults.  The unfortunate part is that once identity is established, it can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, which means that if a healthy identity does not emerge, it can have disastrous, long-term effects on a teenager’s life.  So it is critically important during the first 3 years after divorce, that parents do not allow the divorce to cut off their teen’s relationships, in order for their teen to develop a healthy identity.

This is by no means a complete list of things to watch for during the critical first three years after your divorce, but we hope it gives you a good basis to learn from and some key points to watch for to ensure your child’s healthy development.  The key point is that divorce does not have to negatively affect your child, but it will take work on both parent’s part to ensure their child survives and thrives through the divorce process.

(Source: Does Divorce Inevitably Damage Children?  Huffington Post)

We hear from individuals that they want to change attorneys because their attorney has told them something they don’t want to hear.  This is where the aspect of trusting your attorney comes in.  Your attorney may give you advice that you don’t want to hear, and you may not want to follow that advice.  In that case, even though it’s painful, we recommend that you follow your attorney’s advice, because they typically have the experience and the knowledge of where your case is going, to make the best recommendations for your personal situation.

Some people also decide they want to change attorneys because they have a lot of questions about their case, and they may not understand what their attorney is doing, or what direction their attorney is taking their case.  Instead of switching attorneys, we recommend that you ask for a meeting with your attorney, and sit down and ask them very specific questions.  Have them lay out the reasoning and goals for your case, so that you have a clear understanding and can make the decision to get on board, discuss a different direction, or as a last resort, switch attorneys.

Firing your attorney may sometimes be necessary, especially if you feel you have chosen someone that you cannot trust.  There are different skill levels in attorneys.  Some of them are far better in court than others, some of us are far better on our feet than others, and some have incredible strengths in research and writing.  The bottom line is that no one has it all.  Any attorney that you pick is going to be a combination of those things, so get a full analysis of your case from your attorney and find out how they’re going to use their strengths in all those ways before you decide that what you want to do is better than what the attorney is advising you to do. In the long run, it will save you a lot of time, money and make your divorce process a much easier experience.

We have come a long way since then, and paternity is now established by DNA testing, which is highly accurate and has an accuracy range of 90-99%.  It can exclude a man who is not the biological father, and also show the likelihood of paternity if a man is not excluded.  Paternity testing can be done either before or after birth, and there are many different types of paternity testing available.

Prenatal paternity testing can be done as early as the 10^th week of the pregnancy, but does carry some risk to the mother and developing baby as the method for prenatal paternity testing is either by amniocentesis or CVS (Chorionic Villus Sampling).  Due to the increased risk of miscarriage, these tests have historically been discouraged for the sole reason of determining paternity.  However, this is changing as these tests become more accepted and routine.

Postnatal paternity testing (after the baby is born) can be done immediately by taking blood from the umbilical cord, which is very convenient and effective, and carries no risk to the baby.  Blood collection and testing can also be done at any age to determine paternity.  Only a small amount of blood is collected, usually a teaspoon or less, and is usually tolerated quite well by both children and babies.  Lastly, a buccal swab, otherwise known as a cheek swab, can also be done.  This type of test is performed by rubbing a Q-tip on the inside of the cheek.  Since DNA is present in every cell of the human body, a cheek swab is as effective as an actual blood sample.  The creation of the buccal swab testing has made the creation of the home paternity test possible.  While home DNA tests are highly accurate and very economical and convenient, they are usually not acceptable for legal purposes, since it is generally impossible to verify the identity of the individuals who were tested.

The cost of paternity testing can range from approximately $400 to $1,500, and prenatal paternity testing is often more costly.  Most paternity tests are conducted to establish legal responsibility and financial responsibility (child support) but the emotional and social aspects of paternity are even more important.  History shows that if a man is conclusively shown to be the father, via paternity testing, he is more likely to provide not only financial support, but emotional support as well.  He is more likely to bond with the child, and take an active part in his/her life.

If you have questions regarding paternity testing or establishing paternity, please feel free to call us.  We are here to help!

Gratitude can be particularly beneficial when you are going through a hard time, such as a divorce, a period of unemployment, or health problems.  University of Miami psychologist professor Michael McCullough says “When you are stopping and counting your blessings, you are sort of hijacking your emotional system”.  He means that gratitude can bring you out of a funk and into a very happy state.  McCullough continues “It does make people happier … It’s that incredible feeling.”  Robert Emmons, a professor who specializes in the study of gratitude at UC Davis, also states “We found that increased feelings of gratitude can cause people’s well-being and quality of life to improve”.

Many studies have been done that support these beliefs, including a 2007 study conducted by researchers at the University of California, Davis, and the Mississippi University for Women.  This study found that organ-transplant recipients who kept gratitude journals listing five things or people that they were grateful for each day scored better on measures of general health, mental health and vitality than those who only made routine notes about their days.

Other studies have shown that gratitude even affects the success of your relationships.  A recent study done in 2010 tracked more than 65 couples that were in satisfying and committed relationships. Interestingly enough, the results showed that each couple’s relationship quality corresponded with one partner’s feelings of gratitude.  This was demonstrated when researchers tracked the day-to-day fluctuations in the couple’s relationship satisfaction.  What they found was that on the day when one partner expressed feelings of gratitude, both partners experienced a positive emotional response.  As a result, researchers now think that gratitude is a very important part of maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner, and that it can strengthen romantic bonds.  What amazing research!!

This Thanksgiving, we plan to incorporate gratitude as a regular part of our everyday lives and we encourage you to do the same.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone, we are grateful for the opportunity to connect with you through this blog!

(Source: Why Giving Thanks Is Good For The Psyche, Huffington Post, and Why You Should be Grateful This Thanksgiving, livescience.com)