Her Kicks

I Don't Want a Profile

2013-07-03T00:33:00.002-05:00

Don't judge me . . . by the color of my skin, the automobile I'm in or what I look like when . . .

I step out in my business attire and stilettos, laptop and spit fire . . . intelligent words, educated verbs and handle my business.

I'm the same woman who rocks Christian music and love songs, loves all genuinely, and doesn't care that much for the tunes that align with some of the stereotypical stuff you might try to describe us with. Not referred to by many as ghetto, but I can get ghetto so let's not get it twisted. No drugs, no dark tinted windows, no stunna attire or representation by my book. No tattoos or disrespect . . . just genuinely me. And no disrespect for those who do or have that.

But yet you pull me over out of the blue, hot flashing lights, just me and you in the middle of the night. No speeding, no expired tags, I just didn't fit the profile of who you expected to live "there" and drive "that" kind of car. Really?! So you ask what I do to afford it? Maybe ask if I was ok or even lost or if i needed an escort to safety. I'm guessing my Newsradio KTRH fluffy jacket with NO hood made me look suspicious or maybe it was the tiny diamond stud earrings that sparkled in the moonlight. Nah! It must have been NPR blasting on my box or perhaps the scent of cherry blossom air freshener that could have been mistaken for marijuana. Cause you know we all get high. Nah!

If it had happened once, maybe it wouldn't bother me so much. But it happens too much and that is what bothers me so much.

So yea . . . don't judge me . . . by the color of my skin, the automobile I'm in or what I look like when . . .

I pick up your family member stranded on the side of the road, encourage your child who doesn't know which way to go. Willing to give you anything I have, with no condition or regard for the pigmentation you have. I'm the same lady who rides to the park in sneaks and listens to songs with bumping beats . . . sometimes.

This degree, this material stuff, this look, this love, this Jesus in me . . . doesn't regard lines of color. Please don't judge me, you don't even know me . . . or maybe you do.

Based on my personal experience.

Sometimes life has its own kick

Give me my CHRISTmas

2011-11-29T01:16:00.001-06:00

GIVE ME CHRIST! -- It's CHRISTmas time! It's not some random generic holiday but rather the celebration of the birth of the savior, Jesus Christ. It runs me hot for people to stress that we must be politically correct and replace Christmas with Merry XMas/Happy holidays, etc. Now, I have many friends with various beliefs and I 100% respect that and they all know that, as sure as I wouldn't dare force them to genericize their religious holidays or force Christ down their throats. But this upcoming season is about Christ and His birth and ultimately leading to His death and His resurrection.

So dear America/world: feel free to choose to not pray in Christ's name or teach your children to do the same, celebrate whatever you wish and continue on carrying your banners naming that as freely as you already do . . . but please in that same regard let me have Christ in my CHRISTmas. Whatever holidays or religious traditions you have, Christians don't fight to make you remove the name of your god or savior in the name of religious freedom. That wouldn't be religious freedom now would it? I don't fight about the obscene offensive stuff at work. In my travels to other non Christian countries, I never thought it would be ok to start a petition to remove the mention of another, simply because I respect your right and because I enjoy the freedom to call on my God and have confidence that he'll answer despite whatever flag might be flying outside of the building or who the majority may be praying to.

So ... Merry Christmas!!! My heavenly father sent his only son, Jesus Christ, to be born just to die and shed his blood for us. So you can be non-Christian without being anti-Christian. Pick another season or time or do extra shopping during the celebratory season of who/what you believe in, but let me have my Jesus. It's real for me because he saved me out of my own foolishness, and I choose to recognize Christ because no other being did that for me.

PB&J is called the same all day long anywhere you go. If you hate the peanut or the jelly you simply never opt for it or make it at home, but you never try to have it removed from the menu. BUT if you ever "taste and see" that "PB&J" is the best thing you could eat anyway . . . you'll understand why I posted this in the first place. ;) #CHRISTmas #CelebratingChrist

Oh taste and see that the LORD is good! Psalm 34:8

The W


Another one of her kicks, a gift to you.

A Godly Mate - The Selection Process

2011-05-17T01:06:00.004-05:00

For the ladies and gentlemen in waiting . . .

So the brother has captured your heart or you have captured his - now what? Maybe you've been dating for a while now and you figure it is time to pop the question because you believe in God's plan for marriage. Again I ask, now what? Are there multiple people to choose from and you simply need to make a serious choice at this point?

Besides chemistry, a "feeling" of love and attraction to her/his good looks, what should you keep in mind? I have a personal assignment to do a study on something related to this, so I thought I'd share this excerpt from a three-part radio broadcast series produced by the ministry of Family Life Today from '07. Pastor Alistair Begg's “How Do You Find a Mate.”

Ladies first! :)

WHAT SHOULD A WOMAN LOOK FOR IN A HUSBAND?

1. The man should be committed to growing in his relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Do not take on a fellow as a discipleship project. Don’t take on a husband who has merely mastered Bible trivia. Look for a husband who is serious about growing in grace and in his knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Imagine that he is going to be, in part, your shepherd and your guide; that he is going to be the spiritual leader of your home; that he is going to be the nurturer of your children together.

2. A husband should be an individual of obvious integrity. If you find him in an employee/employer situation fudging the issue in his sales calls, telling somebody that he can get the product to them in two weeks when he comes afterwards and tells you that actually he knew that he couldn’t get it there for four weeks, but he said that because he didn’t want to lose the sale — on the day he tells you that, you need to have a long, serious conversation with him. And if he seeks to under-gird his deceptiveness with argumentation, you should probably kiss him goodbye. You need a husband who is honest to the core, to a fault.

3. Look for a husband who is able to lead boldly. Look for the kind of man who can think for himself, who can weigh options, and who can make good decisions. A girl should never settle for leadership that is selfish, bombastic, and domineering. The leadership of the Lord Jesus Christ, as espoused by the Apostles, is a leadership that is marked by an attitude of servanthood, an attitude that submits to the leadership of others.
The flip side of it, is that a young woman should be more than a little concerned if the fellow that she’s dating has to check with his mother all the time — ”I need to phone my mom about that,” and all he’s trying to decide is where he should buy the large or the medium t-shirt — you’ve got a problem there.
4. Look for a husband who displays the ability to love sacrificially. For example, watch, at the end of an evening with friends, to see if this character is quick to organize and spearhead the cleanup, or whether he waits for everybody else to clean up. Observe the way he relates to children and to strangers. See if he possesses a willingness to hold doors for passersby with full arms. Watch his attitude to waitresses and to other people who are involved in serving the public.
5. A husband should be able to laugh heartily. Humor is a vital element in preventing marital failure. The ability to laugh doesn’t mean that he’s the class clown or even a joke-teller. In fact, he may be hopeless at telling jokes. That may be the funniest part about him. But it is important that he likes to laugh, and a key trait to look for is his willingness to laugh at himself. If he takes himself too seriously, look out.
6. A husband should model genuine humility. Simply put, a good husband shouldn’t be stuck on himself. Genuine humility keeps its focus on others. And if you find yourself in the company of somebody who cannot be an understudy, who can’t sit in the second chair, who has always got to be the theme of the story, the joke of the party, the success of the event, I want to suggest to you, girls, that you might want to take a long, hard look at whether you’re in the company of the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life.

WHAT SHOULD A MAN LOOK FOR IN A WIFE:

1. A good wife must have a personal faith and trust in the Lord Jesus. Don’t enter into an intimate relationship where one person is a Christian and the other is not. The Bible is clear – don’t get unequally yoked.

2. Look for a wife who possesses beauty that is deeper than the skin. It is less important to find a woman whose beauty comes from time spent in front of a beauty parlor than from time spent in the presence of the Lord Jesus.

3. Look for a wife who is an initiative-taker with an attitude of submission. This simply parallels what we said previously about a man being a sacrificial leader. Any wise fellow is looking for a woman with ideas, abilities, hopes, plans, gifts, dreams, the whole panorama of abilities that she brings to marriage, because in entering into marriage in more areas than we are prepared to admit, we, as the husbands, will be dependent upon their knowledge, upon their insight, upon their courage, upon their faith, upon their expertise.

There will seldom be a day, as a man, when we do not have occasion to depend on multiple levels upon the wisdom, insight, initiative, grace, courage, faithfulness, integrity, skill, giftedness, of our wives.
4. A wife should build her husband’s confidence. Trustworthiness stems from character. A woman’s intrinsic qualities are revealed by her actions.
5. Look for a wife who displays kindness that touches others. Women don’t have the exclusive ownership of the characteristic of kindness, but often they do a much better job in expressing compassion than most men. If you think about it, women that have marked our lives have often marked our thinking on account of their tenderness.
6. A wife, like a husband, should have a sense of humor that braves adversity. The ability to laugh will get couples through more than a few rough spots.

Keep in mind, no one is perfect - - not even you! :) But there are some traits we should all be practicing and attracting.

In love,

The W

Another one of her kicks

One Small Victory and War Breaks Out . . . Within

2011-05-03T01:21:00.001-05:00

So here we go . . .

"Re-blog" of my FB Note:

I'm not a “party-line politics” girl, but I am for what's right and what's fair, period. I'd be the last to have any opinion simply b/c of the color of my skin or the color of another, so let’s put that to rest. That said, I really want to say “ZIP THAT LIP re: PRESIDENT OBAMA!” But since I believe in democracy and the freedom of speech to my core, I won’t say that. I will say I respect your right to believe how and what you want to believe, but I am getting real tired of hearing the same ole stuff.

Some of the silly comments that I have listened to 1:1 and read across FB and all of my news sources, have just aggravated me to no end today. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Pay special attention to the end as that IS the key and end-of-day end-all to the argument.

1) OUR U.S. President Obama's face has been up on every TV channel next to the high gas prices, he has been blamed or associated with the billions of dollars the previous camp gave away without so much as an IOU on the back of a Starbuck’s receipt, his “winds” have apparently caused the rash of tornadoes and inexplicable shift in weather to the price of tea in China, but yet we refuse to associate him with this victory re: Osama bin Laden. Not ending the war of course, but apparently putting an end to at least one high minded, pseudo hunt for 1 single dude for the better part of a decade. One minute we’re screaming, “make love, not war” but with this apparent victory then the chant has changed to “oh, it’s good but you ‘gets no glory for it my brother,’” and not that he was gung-ho for it anyway. What?! Why is that really? Oh ok. *side eye* It was under His watch, so really why are we fighting about who can take the credit for it? Never mind that we've been in this mess for many years and that another regime moved us into a crazy war and into even crazier economic times. You can MISS ME on this issue! Let’s talk about relevant stuff like why we’ve allowed these big oil “bullies” to pimp slap us, take all the profits and brainwash us into believing we should just get used to the fact that gas will be $10/gallon this summer (exaggerated). Or how about why our government lets other big businesses dictate our laws; why Texas pays such high insurance over other areas that face natural disasters each year; and why we allow someone from another country and religion turn around and tell us that we can not have God in our pledge, on our money, etc? We could never go to another country and run what they do. Let’s talk about that! But if you force an intra-country war over who handled this one small victory in anti-American terrorism, then I say shut it! It’s silly!

2) We are getting upset about so much of the wrong stuff and bypassing the very thing that should be causing pure outrage. Never in our history have we forced the hand of a President to show his papers. Not since my Grandfather and ancestors walked the streets of Back Woods, USA, have we convicted a man for not proving his identity. SMH @ ignorant slavery mentality. Yep, that’s what it boils down to. Were we in that much outrage over Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal a/k/a Piyush Amrit Jindal? His name is just as difficult to pronounce. Nothing against him, just making a point. NEVER before have we requested and allowed a mop headed, fool who happens to have been lucky in business (Trump! Sorry, I digress . . .) influence us to force a President to produce his college transcripts to prove his Ivy League worthiness. Never mind that we previously supported a former President who could not form a well structured sentence on his own to save his life. Hmmm! (Bush! And I digress . . .) But yet, we question the grades of the leader now? He already has the job, so why is he having to interview again. MAYBE if we scrutinized our local and state government this way, we could keep idiotic folks from moving to Washington to begin with and making decisions the constituents would never support anyway, e.g. removing God from the pledge, foolish tax credits, not forcing the hand of those who are taking advantage of govt assistance, etc.

3) His name is PRESIDENT Obama, NOT Obama bin Laden. Just stop it!! You may not like him or agree with him, but please show some respect for the office of presidency. This is why other people can come into our country, disrespect our laws and leadership, train to kill us on our grounds and then make good on it; in part because we don't have enough sense as a nation to band together and show solidarity as the U. S. of A.

4) And finally my brethren (brothers, sisters, cousins, n friends) what does the Word of God have to say about it? We often hang our hats on Jesus when it’s convenient, but we don’t like to refer back to it when it comes to practicality. I could bust out a whole bible study on this, but I think it is summed up perfectly in 1 Timothy 2:1-4.

The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know. Pray especially for rulers and their governments to rule well so we can be quietly about our business of living simply, in humble contemplation. This is the way our Savior God wants us to live. He wants not only us but everyone saved, you know, everyone to get to know the truth we've learned: that there's one God and only one, and one Priest-Mediator between God and us—Jesus . . . (The Message Bible)

Pray so that we can have peace! There is whole plan of God that will be carried out and eventually there will be nothing but destruction and calamity and the tribulation will come while the church is taken out at Christ’s 2^nd coming, but it does not release us from doing our job in praying for our leadership today. It’s our prayers that keep God’s hand of mercy on us as-is. If not, I think we would see even worse things in a quicker timeframe.

So let’s not fight over silliness. Judge people based on character, pray for leadership and let’s band together in the land of the free. You have the right to your own opinion, but I hope that it’s not based in the soil of hatred and intolerance and certainly not on the color of one person you never wanted to lead you. Have I agreed with everything in the White House? Nope, and I never have fully supported everything one presidency represented. I have VERY specific reasons why I vote for and support certain people and laws on a city, county, state and federal level. It has everything to do with my personal ideals and what I feel is fair to all of the people around me from co-workers to family to strangers. The beauty of it is that we can all exercise our right to vote when it’s time. But no matter who is in any office, pray for their knowledge and wisdom.

That is all. Carry on! And I still love you and there is nothing you can do about it. XO J

Another one of her "proud to be an American" kicks

One Small Victory and War Breaks Out . . . Within

What's LOVE got to do with it?

2011-03-24T02:33:00.001-05:00

Everything! Love has everything to do with it!!

Learning to love and be loved in God's way is a process. You thought I loved you, I thought you loved me, but we have no idea. Before you say it again, please evaluate what it really means. I ♥ you . . . Really?

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Are you patient with me, even when I make you mad or agitate you?
Am I ever envious of you?
Do I hate on you openly or secretly over what you have, your life, your talent, your accomplishments, your shine?
Do we act in arrogance or are we rude to one another? Do you disregard me and treat me like an afterthought? Do I deal with you and be nice to you only when I want to or when it's convenient to me?
Am I easily agitated by you? Do you resent me for something that I may not even be aware of?
Do I rejoice when you mess up or make a mistake? Are you happy that my "stuff" didn't work out anyway?
If you love, then does your love remain even when I don't meet your expectations or act the way you think I should? Or are you only happy when you can manipulate me to do what you want?
Do I always believe the best in you, no matter how many times I've seen you NOT at your best?
Does your love endure or does it get weak or start to faint when you find a new friend or whatever?
Do we unconditionally love each other out loud?
Do we put the other person's needs above our own (in balance of course)?
Do you and I love without expecting anything in return?
Are we more concerned about what we look like and feel like over the care of someone else's soul?
Then do we really love each other or is it just a feeling , a thought, a concept, an idea, a wish, a hope, a dream . . . a nothing.
When I can put you first, pray for you first, make sure you eat and have clothes on your back first, care for you when you're down, and lift you up when you fall . . .
When you show me that you love me more than you say it, when you root for me and support me, when you pray for me, when you are more concerned about my soul than our friendship or kinship . . .
THEN and ONLY then can we say it's love . . . the God kind of love.

I think what God is teaching me or re-teaching me these days about love is so basic and simple yet so profound - - and a little painful. I thought I really knew about love, you know . . . a seasoned saint who understood love. I didn't realize that some things in my life as it relates to a number of people and situations were just flat out selfish. And yet, I wanted and expected unconditional, "put-your-all-in" kind of love from everyone else. Sometimes not loving the God kind of way is or can be painful because of the guards and armor and gates and walls we build up around our precious little hearts. We're afraid that someone will invade and conquer and run away with the spoils. But if we love the God kind of way, without selfish expectation and without fear, we can rest assured that our hearts are guarded in Christ and that the Holy Spirit of God will guide and protect us along the way. Ultimately every person who names the name of Jesus Christ as their personal savior should be the BEST LOVERS the world has ever seen. We should be exemplifying the God kind of love in friendships, family, marriage, on our jobs, in our neighborhoods and especially within the body of Christ.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (Amp.)
Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

That's what love has to do with it! That's everything!

I love you so much that I'd give you the shoes off my feet!!!!

The W

Another one of her kicks . . .

The Spring of Life

2011-03-11T15:00:00.000-06:00

Spring is definitely in the air! I can smell the change of seasons coming on. In my area, that usually comes with a bunch of coughing and sneezing, but nevertheless Spring is coming! :)

The winter season means cold and drab usually, and lots of things die in that season. That could be weeds, grass, useless things, jobs, friendships, connections, old living spaces and even relationships. But it's all in God's perfect plan. The change in seasons brings rain and sunshine to help the good things grow back anyway, it nourishes and gives life.

Often times, just before the new season kicks in, crazy stuff happens. Like cold air out of the blue, hurricanes and tsunamis in winter, snow in the summer. What I have learned in the last year is that even in the normal death and rebirth of things in a season, even in the unexpected change of weather, the next season will definitely arrive. It's how God planned it. Don't be discouraged just because extra rain falls. It is still the dog days of summer in Texas from June to August even when a cool front passes through and you can't go swimming that day.We may cry, hurt, laugh, enjoy, expect, and experience every emotion possible in a given season, but when God is ready, the next season will come.

The time will change this weekend and me and my girly girls will start planning for spring tees and capris, dresses and espadrilles. Rain will come, the sun will shine and before you know it, summer will have arrived. I say prepare for and enjoy the springtime now. In every season in both the natural and spiritual, there is something we should get out of it. Things in the "yards" of our life will die and it will be time to re-plant and plant the new. Beautiful things will grow inside of us, and yet we will still have to do work to keep the weeds out. It's simply called the cycle of life.

This spring I plan to change my wardrobe and live, love and laugh while I continue on the journey that my Father has me on. I know there are are some promises that are set to come to pass in this next season, not just in my life but in the life of the people I love, care and pray for. I stand in expectation for all us to have the joy of Spring even if the weather flip flops a little on some days.

What will you do with your springtime?

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

Another one of her kicks

A Tale of Two Brothas

2011-03-05T17:59:00.005-06:00

He was handsome, rugged but debonair and the brotha smelled so good it was absolutely ridiculous! Never mind the fact that this fraternity man wore suspenders and cuff links like no other. That’s my weakness! But yet he wasn’t exactly my type. Well, back then I had a type. Oh yeah, he had to be an MBA or at least multi-degreed, with a football player body, towering at 6 feet or more, dress well at all times, know how to write a prolific dissertation and also fix my car. And baby doll, I got PLENTY of one’s just like that! Hmppf! Plenty of jokas/suckas/chumps . . . exactly like that! Well, not everyone was a chump, but it makes me laugh to say it. Haaaa They caused boredom, heartache and a lot of sleepless nights. So I thought, maybe I shouldn’t have a type at all.

And there he was . . . not my type AT ALL. I peered back at him standing at the custom designed pool table with his personal stick in hand. I just KNEW he was looking at my “design” as I took the spiral staircase down to the 1^st floor of his million dollar home. In the months that followed, I kinda got my happy times back. He told me he loved me early on and almost scared me off, but he was so sweet and gave me everything. I fell in love with him later on down the road.

A few years passed and he finally went to Jared’s, but by then it was out if necessity. Because I said I would never be anyone’s long-time girlfriend and that I would never play house with a brotha ever ever no never, and because he couldn’t stand the thought of me being with another man. Can you believe that? This man said he loved me so much because I loved the Lord, was a girly girl, sexy, unpredictable, and the best FRIEND a man could ask for, and could even hang with his boys and watch sports. But yet he didn’t choose to spend the rest of his life with me because he genuinely loved me, but more so because he knew what the next man would be getting if he let me go. Uhmmmm . . . no! Next!!! At the end of the day . . . he wasn’t really ready.

And there was the start of my new waiting and preparation time for the one who would be ready!

Then there was Christopher. Grrr . . . for whatever reason . . . and not because I am the best looking and best personality that ever graced the earth (although ain’t NOBODY bad exactly like me!) . . . I ALWAYS attract the men who everybody else loves and who has every woman who comes into their presence jockying for position. Why? I would purposely look for the dude who was at the back of the class, successful but yet quiet and unknown, but them kind never gave me the time of day. LOL So Christopher was just like most of the rest of them, he was all confident, front-runner, man-of-the-hour in front of everyone else, but in getting to KNOW him, he was just the opposite of that. He was so busy trying to measure up to be THE MAN, that he didn’t relax and let me just love him. OOOOOO-MMMMMMM-GGGGGGGGGGG - - he was constantly saying how he wasn’t in my league, he was of a different caliber, he didn’t drive a Benz, blah, blah, blah, but that at least his wife would LOVE him cause he could . . . well, as he termed it, he could PUT IT DOWN. No, no, my brotha, it ain’t all about that in marriage. *PAUSE* Notice I said marriage, for all my sanctified sisters and brothers who have never crossed the line. :0 What I am saying is that while that is part of the beauty of marriage (now that I am older and grown for real that is a big part of the beauty of marriage!), it is also not the only thing. Having walked this way before, I know that bells and whistles for someone WILL stop ringing at various times or even for extended periods of time, but friendship, true friendship is forever. Friendship is what makes for a lifetime relationship/marriage! The sex is a wonderful gift that comes with the vows! Kinda like icing on the cake! *UNPAUSE* So in Christopher’s search for the woman of his dreams, I guess I really wasn’t it in part because he felt he couldn’t measure up to an unattainable bar that he created in his own mind. At the end of the day . . . he wasn’t really ready.

Blaine was the motorcycle riding, tattooed business man, and boy did he want his ride or die chick, so much so that he would do ANYTHING to get her. EVERYTHING any woman would want romantically, he did it, said it, gave it. He was all of that, but yet he didn’t ring my bell, float my boat or give me that ZING! I thought I was crazy, but everything happens for a reason. Blaine didn’t like impromptu me but yet didn’t want to feel “scheduled.” So we constantly disagreed about my time. Geesh, I digress! Blaine never committed to me though, but yet he didn’t want me to be with other people. WHAT?! Then one day this brother admitted that he felt I messed up his head early on and that he could never really get past it, so he never gave me all of him. How did I mess his head up? Crazy double standards men of all colors, ages and ethnic backgrounds have!!! Sitting across from me with the fire place burning and candle lit dinner between us (yes, like the others, he was an awesome cook!), he asked, “So do you date multiple people?” I clearly heard myself say “Sure, if I am not in a committed relationship. Dating is all about figuring out what you want and don’t want, what you like and don’t like, until you find THE ONE.” Down the road that blew up in my face. Why, you ask? He spent his time questioning my every move and always thought what I was doing pertained to another guy. That got old, because it was not warranted at all. He seemed to be consumed by my desire to have freedom. Fool! I said I would “DATE” multiple people if I am not in a committed relationship, the same as men do all of the time. I never said I “DO” multiple people! SMH He stopped calling and texting me all together. And yea . . . at the end of the day . . . he wasn’t really ready.

Alex was tall and had some mad attraction for sure. Our "relationship" was super short lived, but he was the best looking man ever. OH MY! I was not normally drawn in simply by looks. Long story short, he seemed almost too good to be true, so I always kept my doubting Thomas hat on with him. Turns out this brother was not real sure who or what he really liked. *eye brow raised* Let's just say, while I think like a man at times, I am soooooo far from being a man and . . . a man was what he really fancied anyway. Uhmmmmm hmmmmmm . . . Needless to say . . . he really was not ready . . . and never would be without God's deliverance. Just saying . . . NEXT!

And then there was HIM; the unexpected friend. I thought it would just be a few convos over Starbuck’s and that would be it. After all, he had other things going on in his life and I didn’t quite fit in anywhere. And for me, that was good! I was fearful of being hurt and disappointed again, running into another man who wasn’t ready, so I just wanted easy breezy. But somehow this ONE seemed different. I got butterflies every single time he rang my door bell, whenever we stood next to each other in the elevator on the way to our offices, when he held my hand in the park, and when we watched movie after movie with my feet securely nuzzled beneath his legs. That weird feeling in my tummy never left. But WAIT, I don’t do bells and whistles remember?! LOL I know, right?! HE took me totally off guard, off my game and made it easy to break the unspoken rules of engagement. I only intended to have fun, let him be my fake-date to all of my many events and laugh and giggle and enjoy regular, every day life with him as my friend. But nope, it didn’t happen that way. I actually fell in love with him! *sigh* For the first time in my life, I loved someone up front . . . just because. Not sometime after they said it first, not because they were everything or did everything for me, not because they met some need, but just because there was something about them that made me fall in love. He took my breathe away and made me smile at just the thought of him. So this thing with HIM scared me almost to death and many times I held in how I really felt because of that. So eventually he made other choices and decisions in his life that didn't include me. While it hurt, I just wanted him to live his life and be happy and pursue his dreams and be the man of God that he has been called out and set aside to be. That's partly how I knew I truly loved this man; I just loved him without any agenda or selfish motive.

I’m sure my lady friends thought this would be the part where the happily ever after story would come in, but not. J At the end of day . . . I guess he was not really ready either, otherwise I would be writing a different ending and moving on to the next topic. J HE is doing his own thing, and I am doing mine. And guess what? I still love him!

Still all I really know is that when HE, THE ONE, is ready, and after God has finished the work in me, then at that time everything will fall together. And I’ll never question what is what again. HE will open his eyes one day and know that I am the one; his cheerleader, his confidante, his ride or die, his rib, his heart, his special person that he plays hooky from work for, his best (girl)friend.

And the point of the story is? In life, as it pertains to love, it’s always a TALE OF TWO BROTHAS. Basically, there are two types of men - - the ones who are ready and the ones who are not ready. And yes I wrote about a few, but they are all just one of two types of brothas - - either they are in the “ready” category or the “not ready” category. A lady’s choice is to decipher which category a man falls into and decide whether she wants to hang around to see if he is or ever will be ready. Ready for what? Ready to show up in support of you even if he hates recitals, ready to bend a little for you, ready to make it clear that you are his choice, ready to be your best (boy)friend, ready to give up the things and people who are not conducive to his lifelong commitment to you, ready to actually commit to you. Until then, live your life girls and boys! I am convinced that God knows exactly what He is doing. He knows how to join together and how to remove those who were never meant to be in your life anyway.

God says in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans, thoughts, purposes he has towards us. They are thoughts of peace, health, rest, prosperity, favor and safety and not evil, distress, or adversity, in order to give us an expected end/future. He will make good on His promise and will even give us the desires of our heart if we trust Him. There may be a few HIMs, HEs, Christophers or Blaines along the way, but THE ONE will be revealed soon enough.

I have combined a few scenarios and traits and changed a few names in my story, just to make it as easy and as inoffensive as possible, but everything I have stated above is true. It’s a combination of past and present. It's a little tale of two brothas.

READY OR NOT, here I come! Another one of her kicks . . .

Your Divine Valentine

2011-02-15T23:32:00.003-06:00

I know it's a day late, but I thought this was a fantastic valentine thought/prayer. There is a deeper love than any woman or man can know. So in the longing for or the pursuit of or even if you're sick of love, remember that the love of God is above all and is relevant to every single one of us every single day. I have not been able to find the original writer of this one . . . so I'm just sharing . . .

Loving down to the sole!

A Valentine may play a love song for you, but God sings you the sweetest
love song in the universe.
The Lord your God... will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you
with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

A Valentine may give you flowers, but God sent you the most beautiful rose
of all. Jesus.
I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. Song of Solomon 2:1

A Valentine may bring you chocolate, but God provides you with something

even sweeter, His Word.

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm
119:103

A Valentine may love you for a lifetime, but God loved you before you were

born and will love you for all eternity.
Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love...with lovingkindness I have
drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3

AGAPE LOVE TO YOU & YOURS!

Love, The W

2011, Two Thousand and Eleven . . . already?

2011-02-04T13:51:00.002-06:00

It is hard to wrap my mind around the fact that it is 2011 already. And besides that, it is already February! 35 days into the New Year and I can honestly say, that EVERYTHING has changed. ;) There have been both positive and negative changes, but we know that all things work together for good to those who love the Lord and who are called according to his purpose. So, I ain’t worried about a thing!

I am moving on to another level in the things that Father God has called me to do, plus I am singing, writing, loving, liking, pursuing my passions and my side business is on the verge of making me a very happy and paid lady. There are new people in my life, and we’ve been having a blast! I have laughed a lot and spent some quality time along the way. I had some fabulous adventures, outings and opportunities, dinners, breakfasts and silent moments. Along with that, I’ve faced some harsh realities about myself and my own hang-ups and attitudes and some real truth about other people in my life and in my path. My heart has been broken because I hoped for something that just wasn’t there, and my heart has been lifted up by what I will call some renewal of sorts. Some close folks are suddenly no longer close to me. I let my natural guard down for some, and they turned out to not be true friends or true to their word or true to what they said were their convictions. Things that I thought were real turned out to be smoke and mirrors. But in all of that, I can truly say I am “yet holding on”! J I’m blessed, happy, whole and fulfilled. And keep in mind; this is only after 1 month and a few days into the year! Yikes!
2011 will only add to that!

My motto this year - - you live and learn . . . and then you do it all over again! That’s the cycle of life, right?! As long as I have the Lord on my side, my inner circle, lip gloss and high heels . . . I am GOOD! Oh . . . and my best friend and love of my life too! :)

SMILE Oh boy . . . HER KICKS!

So now what? I will be blogging in 2011! LOL I have a lot to say!

Cheers and I love ya!

The W

Sweet . . . or Just Stupid

2010-09-25T21:37:00.001-05:00

"Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry." ~ Author Unknown

Sweet . . . or just stupid?

A good friend of mine and I have been having deep convos about love, relationships and upcoming marriages. Heck, what lady these days isn't having that conversation whether married or single? Every woman desires love, wants to love and be loved and to stay in love. I think it's a God given desire and that it's a good thing. Some of my girls who have been torn in a bitter romance, a romance with a never-ending question mark at the end or who are in horrible marriages and partnerships disagree with me though about love and what it is exactly.

Let me say I am slightly different from the average female or the average amongst my friends. I have what I call my "man-side" and my "soft girl side," so I see things both ways. My inner "man" is the chick who really acts like a lady but thinks like a man. (Thanks in small part to Steve Harvey); she grew up with lots of male influence and typically has some good insight to the brothas. Don't laugh too hard, but I've been called "a beautiful dude with a dress on" because of my "tainted" male thinking. Wow! The softer side of me is the sweet, loving, looking at everything through rose colored glasses me. She loves hard and rarely accepts "no" when it comes to love. She is the die-hard romance fiend who sometimes has a little problem separating the cold, hard facts from fairy tale.

So now back to this quote . . . Is that love or outright insanity? Is that why some men have taken advantage of your heart's weakness? Did God make us that way, to love and accept hurt and to be weeping willows in love? Or did life just make us that way? No matter what you answer, there's no doubt that every woman of age has stood in those shoes. Those shoes where you thought he was the one, even walked down the aisle and said "I do" only to wake up the next day to a different reality. We're all guilty of loving and even liking someone way more than they loved or liked us, and we know that never turns out good. Sometimes though things just happen and they don't happen they way we think they should. No one is really guilty - - things don't always work out.

"Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

Yep, it's a part of loving. Love can be painful, it can mean you end up with the short-end of the stick, but that does not define love or mean that that is the way it always has to turn out. The real question is what do you choose to do with love? I say still love, still open your heart, still be vulnerable, because there is no way to have a true relationship without that. Holding back on your heart means you are faking it anyway. No one wants pseudo love, and you can't expect for someone to give you their all when you're holding back. Now, this love though should be in balance, meaning there is a difference between someone dogging out a female and things just not working out.

As women we are meant to love hard and be givers of love and life. Find the proof in Proverbs 31:10-31. The price of a virtuous woman is far above rubies, and that equals more than all of the rings Jarrod's has in stock.

Final answer: Love then is also when he tries his best and does everything in his power not to make you cry. It's when he does not ignore you because you are important to him and he always wants to remind you of where you are in the ranking of his life. It's when he chooses you over the other girl anyway . . . and chooses to spend the rest of his life dating only you. (No, I'm not saying dating forever. This dating for eternity applies in marriage.)

Any woman might experience the above quote, no matter how silly it seems, it's reality, and these handsome fellows in my life have experienced those same emotions in fact. But in the end, love in balance is a beautiful thing. You just have to find the balance between your head and your heart, and if your hope is in the Lord, then trust that he will guide you and guard your heart along the way.

Marc Jacobs
What I call "Hearts n Heels." Another one of her kicks . . .

The W

Treasure vs. Trash

2010-09-24T02:00:00.003-05:00

While it is not Spring and it doesn’t feel like Fall in this hot Texas melting pot, it’s time for a little clean up. Change is in the air all around me, even change that I can not see with my natural eye. I don’t know about you, but when the season of life changes for me, I also like to change my personal surroundings. It’s my way of starting over, a revival and refreshing of sorts. So now I have re-arranged some things in my room, finally got my fave 3D shoe art on my wall (I’m a shoenista first, and a blogger 2^nd), changed up my bathroom trinkets and rearranged my shoe gallery.

Now that the heavy lifting part is done, there’s some dust balls around and lots of “stuff.” Stuff - - just stuff - - as in art, pictures I don’t miss seeing, books (half-read and some never opened), old letters, journal entries, work papers, magazines, pics of celebrity hairstyles I wanted to copy and old sentimental gifts and notes and carnival game prizes, etc. Why?!!!! Why do I hold on to this stuff anyway?I knew good and well when “you” gave me that gift that I would never wear it, use it, like it, etc. LOL So why didn’t I throw it away, re-gift it or simply say “no thanks, I don’t need another one of those”?

The “stuff” around me is really not just non-matching mirrors, paintings, gifted china; it represents so much more than that. It’s stuff tied to old memories, old flames (some good and some bad), people that should have never been in my life to begin with, a reminder of a former life, location, and attitude. I said I had let go of things that tied me to all of that, but sometimes you have to get rid of the reminders as well. It’s not that you necessarily can‘t let things go or that you have any unforgiveness, grudges or regrets; it’s just that it’s simply time to move on all together.

That little revelation didn’t cost ya a dime! Haaa And it applies across the board in life - - from friendship, love, career, dreams, hopes, desires, etc. Some things are “for the moment” and you enjoy them while they last. Other things are keepers for life. So when you hit the next season of your life, just take a look around and assess what you have, what you need and want and what you should really just throw away.

Let me help you out! If you do need to do some clean up, you can use this list to help decide if you need to treasure or trash something.

She gave it to you, but you two no longer share matching last names.
His Momma wanted ya’ll to have it, but you’ve been having nightmares every night since its been in the house. Yikes!
It matches nothing and has no real value.
It’s pink plastic!
It is a size 8 (shoe) or 10 (clothes) and you are wayyyyyyy past that.

Give it away or burn it now and call it a day! You'll recognize the treasures that you really need to hold on to.

Yep, we can clean in high heels too!
Another one of her kicks . . .

Happy treasure hunting and trash throwing!

The W

Catch me if you can!

2010-09-19T21:18:00.002-05:00

After witnessing a very beautiful wedding ceremony last night and having numerous conversations with my peeps, guys and ladies, friends and family, I was reminded about the importance of finding or selecting the right mate. The divorce rate is sky high, and unfortunately you do not see nearly enough successful marriages that you would want to pattern your life partnership after. So I asked myself what happened to faithfulness, honesty, true love . . .? It all goes back to the foundation, which is the Father God. We have built our homes, hopes and dreams on sand vs. a solid foundation, because we have compromised in every way . . . all while sitting in church, all while singing and preaching and praising in church . . . all while hearing the foundational truths . . . but yet and still going down a path in relationships that clearly was not the right one.

So I'm just re-telling or re-posting this story today that I heard when I was 20 years-old on the campus of U of H, where I heard so much truth in the Word of God for the first-time in my life. Pastor Ericka McCrutcheon led a bible study for Alpha Omega Alpha Christian Sorority, Inc. (hey sorors!), and I will never forget what she said . . . likening a potential husband to a male eagle and describing how the female eagle makes her choice. So this applies to any lady in waiting, whether she is single or trying to rebuild her broken marriage/home, and also any man who is choosing his bride-to-be or trying to rebuild his home/marriage. Ladies, how well have you "tested" this "potential" before you let him be a part of your life? And to my brothers, how good have you been at catching the "sticks"?

HOW THE FEMALE EAGLE CHOOSES HER MATE
(As told by the Wintu Tribal Elders of California)

When it comes time for the female Eagle to choose her mate, she prepares herself for many suitors. And many come before her. She looks them over quite well and then picks one to fly with for awhile. If she likes the way he flies she finds a small stick, picks it up and flies high with it. At some point she will drop the stick to see if the male can catch it. If he does, then she finds a larger stick and flies with it much higher this time. Each time the male catches the sticks, she continues to pick up larger and larger sticks. When she finds the largest, heaviest stick that she herself can carry, the stick is at this point almost the size of a small log! But she can still fly very high with this large stick.

At any time in this process, if the male fails to catch the stick, she flies away from him as her signal that the test is now over. She begins her search all over again. And when she again finds a male she is interested in, she starts testing him in the exact same way. And she will continue this "testing" until she finds the male Eagle who can catch all the sticks. And when she does, she chooses him, and will mate with him for life.

One of the reasons for this test is that at some point they will build a nest together high up and will then have their Eaglettes. When the babies begin to learn to fly, they sometimes fall instead. It is then that the male must catch his young. And he does!

Now . . . let the real chase begin. ;)

The W

Another one of Her Kicks . . .

The Shortest Distance

2010-09-08T00:40:00.001-05:00

So I have had a mad urge to get back on my workout grind lately. Not only does it do a body good, it works miracles for the psyche. Today was a little different for me though; in fact, something funny happened on the way to the park.

Can't really run in these.

I started out across the street, and just as I crossed the bayou, I felt a cool drop of rain. It was like a jolt of lightning and energy struck my collar bone . . . and I decided to . . . press on despite an impending downpour. I started to smell that infamous, “fresh” scent of Htown rain. Admittedly, I was a little concerned that my hair would blow up into a massive pre-light skinned Michael Jackson fro and that my cute little tennis would get all muddied up, but something inside of me just screamed “keep going!” So I just said a little prayer and asked God if he wouldn’t mind just holding back the full on rain until I got back to my spot. And I . . . pressed on.

This time I decided I would go a different route while heading to the fave Hermann Park spot – the reflection pool. 5-10 laps around the pool and I could get in some prayer time, some thought time, some look-at-the-people-around-me-and-giggle-a-little-inside time; some “reflection” time. I walked straight across the parking lots vs. my normal course all the way around the other side; the course that I have taken every single time for the last year and a half. Everything I passed along this route was brand new to me and was sooo beautiful! There were new walkways going up, new trees planted, even the ducks resting around the waterways looked so different from what I normally see on the other side. I didn’t see the same old people along this path; there were lovely families leaving the zoo and cute couples holding hands seeming to just drink in the love filled air around us. Before I knew it, I was at the reflection pool already. I had taken in everything new around me, and in what seemed like 2.2 minutes I was at my destination. WHAT?! This can not be! It normally takes me a while to get around here from the other side! And how in the world did I miss all of this?

The next drop of rain hit the top of my forehead, and I was reminded that I was there to get something done and may not have long to do it. The wind was picking up! So I took out in a run (ok fine, a run/jog/walk a while) and decided I might as well go see what else was out there. So I took a zig zag trip through the park, up that extremely steep hill where many natives have rolled down as a kid (did I mention it was steep?), took a brief rest in the amphitheatre and took my normal course again only in reverse order this time. It felt sooooo good to me - - to do just the opposite of what I was used to.

What used to be glances turned into long, thoughtful stares from deep within today. I looked around and everyone seemed to know where they were going and looked happy to be there. Even the people who may not have even had a home outside of the park area didn’t appear to have a care in the world. And there I was all worried just minutes before - - worried about my hair, my shoes, possibly never being able to keep off these stupid 30 lbs., why I don’t have at least my 3rd rental property now, a PhD, the white picket fence and 2.5 kids yet. But the route, the rain and that drive to press on made me release all of that.

Reeeeee-diculous!

That’s when I saw them. My favorite playground paraphanelia, all wet up but seeming to beckon to me. THE SWINGS! I swept the rain off, positioned these hips inside the holster (Yikes! ;/) and started swinging. And the rain came down a little more frequent, but I laid back and let the drops fall on me as I pushed myself as high as I could possibly go vs. running in from the rain that could mess up my hair, my clothes, my stuff, my plans, my life . . .

Then it dawned on me . . . ultimately today I wanted to get somewhere and do what I desired, but God was showing me that this time I did not have to take the long route. There was a short cut to my destination right in my face that I had missed so many times, just simply because that is what I was used to. Taking the short route would have given me so much extra time to take in all of the new stuff along the way, all of the new people, seeing the trail from the top of hill from a totally different angle. But no, for a year and a half I never even looked in that direction. I have been so concerned about what MIGHT mess up my plans. So who cares about a little rain anyway?

Cute, but not for running!

Granted, sometimes the Father has a plan to take us the long route, because He knows what is ahead and has a plan of protection from some stuff along the short route. Other times, we get caught up in the long route just because we chose to go that way. The children of Israel took the long 40-year route out of the wilderness vs. a few days if they had just been obedient. And if something wonky happens going down the short trail, it’s ok too! We can still make up time. Life does not come in a pretty little package with a GPS and guaranteed people, places and things. It just doesn’t! But the one guarantee is Jeremiah 29:11. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord (Pslam 37:23), and those steps may lead us anywhere in the world from new pathways, to new park sightings . . . to . . . new people.

I got a few strange glances my way from grown folk apparently wondering what I was doing swinging on the swings with a storm on the way and with a huge smile on my face. I hopped off with a renewed sense of Wendy. Not a mere woman in the rain, but a child of the most high God who is not completely sure about where I may be going in this season of my life but 100% confident that wherever this particular shortcut leads will be really good for me.

So on my way back home, the very moment my foot hit the spot where I had asked God to hold the rain back . . . yep, He released it on me. It was a downpour like no other. So I did a slow run home in the rain with no care about my hair, shoes or even the fact that I might just look like I was entering a wet tee contest. LOL

Turns out my hair didn’t blow up into an afro, my sneaks didn’t get dirty, and my life is grand anyway despite what I may or may not have accomplished or gained so far. In fact, I have lost a few key things in the last few months, but life goes on. And what really counts is the fact that I am pressing on even in the rain; this time I’m taking the shortcut and I’m still enjoying the view.

Which route have you been overlooking?

The W

Her Kicks?

2010-09-05T15:30:00.000-05:00

Yep, Her Kicks! I decided to name my new blog Her Kicks, because it soooo fits me. And no, for those of you who really know me, this is not about my infamous stilletos and fly shoe game. Au contraire, it's really all about what I stand on, foundational issues, questions, etc. And of course I'll throw in some hot shoe pics ere now and again.

What are kicks anyway? Shoes, footwear; things that make you click, activities you like to do . . . So enjoy the read about these kicks - - mine, yours, our common ones, plus some randomness too.

Topics to come:
Sex in My City
Why You Are Always Waiting for Her
Desolation Around Me
In Waiting
My Calling
Tale of Two Brothas
Ain't Nobody Bad Like Me!

Not sure which order I'll end up posting what I've already written, but I have a whole lot of stuff to say! So join the convo, let me know what you think. . . and battle me if you wish. ;) All of my brothers are welcome to join in as well; don't be shy. (DISCLAIMER: I have used some real stuff from my life in my writings, because people want REAL, human stuff. If you think anything is related to you . . . well, just get over yourself. LOL)

Stay tuned! Smooches!

The W