Here Am I

Sufferings

2011-04-19T22:37:00.007+08:00

The word 'Suffering' became a synonym either for me or other parties since the past few weeks.

Last week, I got to watch Manchester United demolishing Chelsea 2-1 in the 2nd leg quarter-final match of UEFA Champions League. So what this got to do with suffering?

Surely a suffering to Chelsea as they lost 3-1 on aggregate to Manchester United. Haha*Evil laugh*

Last Saturday was the most anticipating day for the Sarawakians as they eagerly wait for the result of state election. Unfortunately for me (and the others too), BN won the 2/3 majority. The 'mighty' Chief Minister of Sarawak sworn in (again?) for the _*Insert whatever number you want here*_ time.

'Mighty' forever, eh?

The past few weeks also have been a 'suffering' for me personally with a lot of expected and unexpected things going on. Sigh.

Looks more on retarded than suffer.

But the 'suffering' I remember the most is when Jesus was mocked, insulted, whipped, nailed on the cross and finally died to redeem my sin. This week marks the most important week in the Christian calendar as we enter the Holy Week to remember the Christ's suffering just to save us of our sins.

Despite the suffering that Christ had gone through, we know that there is hope for salvation for He came as a Messiah. Now we know that He is risen and live, we can be sure of our faith because the Bible says

"And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith." - 1 Corinthians 15:14

Reactions

2011-03-30T04:03:00.009+08:00

Getting involve in the full time ministry is by far the most important decision I've ever made in my whole life.

These are some reactions that I had received (or might receive) from the people around me.

Some were shocked.

Some were skeptical.

Some pitied me because of my 'foolishness'.

Undeniably there were some of them who thought that I'm doing the right thing.

Regardless of what reactions I get from the people around me, I still hold on to the calling that I've received from the Lord. I am more concern of what God think of me, rather than what people would think of. So, I'm going to finish this race.

"But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." - 2 Timothy 4:5

Rekindled Passion

2011-03-28T03:40:00.006+08:00

Have you ever felt that at one moment you were very passionate about something and finds yourself losing that passion after a certain period of time?

For me, I have been in that situation quite a number of times.

When I was a kid, I was eager to learn and be able to play guitar because I thought it was cool (cool as in getting the attention of some chicks in the school). I remember I was very passionate about it. I started playing guitar at the age of 10. Most of my guitar-playing days were self-taught. I had never been to any formal musical lessons. I used to practise guitar for 2 hours a day. But as time goes by, I felt that my passion was fading each day. I no longer practise like I used to. That is when I thought to myself that I shouldn’t have wasted this God-given talent. So I try to keep up and upgrading myself with new skills and techniques.

Too often in our Christian lives we had the same situation too. We were once very passionate over serving the Lord, sharing the gospel, searching for lost souls and etc. But we found ourselves losing that passion after a certain period of time for different reasons.

Let us learn from the live of Moses in the Old Testament. Moses had a passion for his own people (the Jews) though he was raised up according to Egyptians traditions. He ran away from Egypt after killing an Egyptian man. For 40 years he lived as a shepherd instead of being a leader in Egypt. During that long period of time, he had forgotten about the passion he once had for his own people in Egypt. The Lord appeared to him and reminded him of his passion for the Hebrews in Egypt. Because of his rekindled passion, the Lord used him to free the Jews from the Pharoah’s oppression and hard labours.

We may have some of our passion lost. But let us guard our hearts and keep the fire burning for the Lord. You may have your worldy passions lost, but losing passion for the Lord is a no-no.

“The fire must be kept burning on the altar continuously; it must not go out.” – Leviticus 6:13

Who Am I - Casting Crowns

2011-03-26T02:53:00.004+08:00

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name

Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star

Would choose to light the way

For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

A vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love and watch me rise again

Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea

Would call out through the rain

And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

A vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours, I am Yours

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

A vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours, I am Yours

I am Yours

Whom shall I fear

'Cause I am Yours

I am Yours

Such a great song with great lyric too. Thought of doing the cover of this song, but haven't got the time yet. Soon, maybe?

"The LORD is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?" - Psalms 27:1

Be blessed.

Set my eyes upon Jesus

2011-03-23T23:02:00.003+08:00

Ever felt how the whole world is turning against you?

I get this feeling when I first made a decision to serve God in a full time basis. Everyone around me seems to turn their back on me (okay..that was exaggerating. Some only lah, not all).

Last night when I called my Dad to tell him about my decision, I know that he was shocked but he still managed to be calmed like ~~tiada perasaan~~ he usually did. Despite his calmness, I know deep in his heart that he’s actually disappointed. Later when he called me again the next morning, he stated his full support for my decision (again, I can sense the disappointment in his tone of voice).

The case was different for my Mum. She called me this evening when she was told by my Dad about my decision. She doesn’t seemed to received it well. I know she is deeply disappointed about my decision. I don’t blame her either. I can understand her disappointment. Me, being their first child to enter degree (Mechanical some more!) is so far their only hope for success. They expected me to finish my degree, get a handsomely-paid job, and support them financially. But that is not the case now!

Thank God that I have a God for me to rely on despite what I feel now. When the world seems to turn against me, I know I can set my eyes upon Jesus, and hold on to His promise that He’ll never leave me. I know that He’ll enable me to go through all these tests. He also had sent me a bunch of wonderful friends that are caring enough to support me, morally and spiritually. Who are caring enough to know how I feel, and accept me for who I am, and support me for doing what I love to do.

I’ve considered all the risks of following Jesus. Jesus said;

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate (love less in comparison) father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple."- Luke 14: 2

Despite all that I am going through, I will still hold on to my decision to serve Him. He is the one who has called me, and He will open the way for me.

U-turn

2011-03-22T18:22:00.003+08:00

Who says that U-turn only happen on the road?

As much as U-turn occur on the road, God does allows U-turn in our lives too. I am the living example here.

Let me tell you a lil' bit about my background. I am a person with great ambition in life. I wanted to be an engineer so I enrolled for an engineering diploma. I thought having only a diploma wouldn't be enough for me. I pursue my degree after I finished my diploma in 2010.

I first sensed my calling when I was very young (I am still :P). But then, I was unsure and ignorant about it. But the more I tried to ignore it, the more stronger it feels. Now that I am clear and sure of my calling, I am willing to go and serve the Lord wholeheartedly. I feel that this is the time for me to respond to what God has called me to do.

I am willing to let go of my ambition. I may not have all the luxuries in the world, I may not have any properties to invest on, but one thing I believe, that my God is a God of provider - Jehovah Jireh.

Now that I've made this decision, so Lord,

"..Here am I. Send me!" - Isaiah 6:8