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Scrappin' Donny Trump

2018-01-18T13:43:00.001-08:00

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We just heard one of our "favorite" pundits (Senator Lindsey Graham) call Ironic President Anal Expulsive Super Genius a Street fighter. Street fighter. That would be keeping it real. No, actually the imagined optics are as dreadful as that ridiculous wrestling video. And as one of TV's funniest commentators (Jeanie Moos) teased - he does assign clumsy nicknames. She seemed to imply there is little propriety to these names.

So turnabout is fair play? N'est ce pas? So the assignments of Ironic, Anal Expulsive and Super Genius seem appropriate? (The Super Genius appellation came from and old Looney Tunes cartoon). But we do fear claims of libel. Scrappy has implied such claims before. Jolly good. So Street fighter seems laughable. But Scrapping, or Scrappin', seems apropos. 😤

We had to think a about that. Would Feisty be better? Nah. Graham also referred to a hypothetical instance where Scrappy might even take on The Pope! That's dangerous even diabolical thinking. 😈😁😇. So, should we call him Pope Trump? No, that seems blasphemous - even laughable. No, this is no laughing matter. Keeping to the high road how about Saint Trump? He is seen to be wearing a hair shirt when he bemoans not getting enough credit. Better kiss the ring Bannon - that'll work. Maybe future history will cut him some slack.

That'll be the day. Makes President Ironic seem more appropriate. Also, we'll skip the expletives for decorum's sake - and Google policy. How about Mr. Popularity? Only in a Richie Rich comic book - not to mention his numbers keep tanking. 😇. That's our cue Baghdad Bob. Why the Baghdad Bob references? YouTube might answer that.

We kind of miss Bob even with his being an enemy propagandist and all that.

We should mention how relieved we were when the Michigan Meteor missed Washington. It would've been hilarious, er no, tragic if the meteor had annihilated the entire Trump clan. We have a perverse sense of humor.

Res ipsa loquitur.

The Shape of Fire

2018-01-07T12:41:00.001-08:00

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Unauthorized. The bleak, blasted and blighted path seemingly leading from Wolff's Whitehouse witch hunt. But such pretty witches, forgive us if this sweet chariot swings so asymptotically near Melania's deep mascara and Loboutin's red souls (sic.) These weren't made in America, were they?

Its a Fast-and-furious shout-out shot out of a coal shute faster than white-nosed bats out of hell. Hell, Hollywood and Babylon were never like this. Those slicing tweet shots zooming out of super swanky "Murcialago" barely whiffing the temple forehead fonts of journalism's ivy towers are drowning in the pond. That thing in 'The Shape of Water' should be hurling them back. But they hurtle past us harmlessly while tripping up that one-legged hurtler, $Trump.

Indeed, he is like the proverbial one-legged man in an *ss-kicking contest. He should be feeling the heat of controversy in the eye of this year's Polar Vortex of Irony. We notice it should be sweeping over the Whitehouse - just now and not on Xmas. You see Virginia - er Donald - Climate Change must be real. Climate Change and Santa Claus morphing into a Krampus-shaped Satan Claus. Forgive us, that schadenfreude simile is barely resistable. And he is dropping fire-bomb cyclone shape charges all over this kakatrumpian hellscape.

Meanwhile, Steve-Miller-cum-Reinhard-Heydrich is having an extra-Factual nuclear meltdown on national syndicated Sunday political TV. Shades of Paddy Chayefsky. Its like Oliver Goldsmith, Shakespeare and Hunter S. Thompson all time-travelled here and rolled into one. This is classic-cubed stuff that just cannot be made up. Along with the "Tax Change" its like Burroughs wrote his sequel 'The Naked Sh*t Sandwich". Yea, it is that bad and smells worse. But, Thank God, no drugs are involved - we hope, we pray.

We're already in a New Cold War, we hope and we pray its just that. This filet-of-soul and counterfeit caviar stinkburger already smells to High Hades. And that's bad enough. We invested heavily in Taibbi's "Insane Clown President" only to wake up to this year's 'Fire and Fury' that Trumps all. Yes, its worse than we suspected and we reach for a Bismo and/or blue ribbon cognac. We've had enough of this toxic fire hose lava flume running past our noses smelling like fire and brimstone. And I'm Cotton Mather ringing a bell in front of Hades' Gates with a "Run! Flee!" placard in this frostbitten hell scape. Res ipsa loquitur.

Jurassic World Crossovers (Suggested)

2015-06-14T10:40:00.002-07:00

Jurassic World Crossovers (Suggested)

The Sequel: Rogue veterinarians move in, anaesthetize, de-claw, de-fang, spay/neuter, micro-chip and drug-up the dinos. Safety!

The Hulk Crossover: Hulk Smash! Dinos.

Double X Crossover: X-Men and Kick-Ass kick Dino *ss!

Fantastic Four Crossover: Until Doctor Doom shows up vapes all the Dinos, visitors, staff and everybody. Except Invisible Girl.

50's Crossover: Happy Dino Days - Dinos devour the Cunninghams, Fonzie and entire town. (Except Erin.)

Jurassic World Recovery: Dinos become cross-addicted dope fiends and basically "lunch out".

Jurassic World Recovery 2: Drunken Dinos move into a shelter and get Bible-thumped into submission.

Superman Crossover: Dino-killing Kryptonite asteroid also destroys Superman.

"Ghetto" Dinos: Waste a day trying to give blood and applying for SNAP. Rejected: "non-human". #JustSaying.

Vote for President Dracula?

2010-03-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

President Dracula? http://bit.ly/bpmNkE Who would you vote 4 - Dracula or a faux-Dracula?

President Dracula? http://bit.ly/bpmNkE Hmmm...I dont know...does he like tea parties or quail hunting?

President Dracula? http://bit.ly/bfKf1h #CBSNEWS 45yr old running 4 prez. Yeah, when I turned 45 I went nuts too...

Vote for Dracula? http://bit.ly/d1dA8b #CBSNEWS Hes got a stake in the next election...oooh..terrible pun... #BadExample

Vote for Dracula? http://bit.ly/d1dA8b #CBSNEWS The blood bank is dry! Hmmm...we just had a blood drive...ohhhh.. #BadExample

Vote for Dracula? http://bit.ly/d1dA8b #CBSNEWS Good idea, we needed more bats around Florida anyway... #BadExample

Vote for Dracula? http://bit.ly/d1dA8b #CBSNEWS Hey! The TParty could use some new blood! ...groan... #BadExample

Vote for Dracula? http://bit.ly/d1dA8b #CBSNEWS Hey! The TParty should back the gentleman vampire from FL..better than #SarahPalin?

Vote for Dracula? http://bit.ly/d1dA8b #CBSNEWS FL vampire running for president...thats better than #SarahPalin?