Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'?

Ten things I want to teach my son so he can become a man.

trish — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:39:23 +0000

Ethan turned one on April 12th. I have a letter for him that I need to finish, but in the meantime I’ve compiled 10 things that I want to focus on over the next 18+ years. I want to raise a man. I don’t believe you’re a man just because you’re male, just as I don’t think a female is automatically a lady. These are some ways I’ll be teaching my son to be a man.

Open the door for people. This is your chance to offer what will, for some people, be the only kindness they experience all day.
Stand up to bullies. You’ll be surprised that the majority of them will immediately back down.
Never stop reading. When you stop reading, you stop learning.
When you think nice thoughts about people, let them know.
Handle failure with graciousness on the outside, and kindness on the inside. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.
Be generous with your time and money. Both, even in small increments, are worth more to other people than they are to you.
Talk kindly to yourself. Don’t be harder on yourself than your parents or spouse would be.
Be curious, not furious. Instead of being frustrated or angry or annoyed as to why someone did something, try to figure out why they did it.
Decide which hill you want to die on. Most battles, whether with family, friends, employers, employees, or strangers, are not worth fighting.
Love hard.

Ten things I want to teach my son so he can become a man. was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

How being a pet owner changes when you have kids.

trish — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 03:41:24 +0000

I have this dog. Samson. He’s a tiny toy poodle, about 7 pounds, with reddish-blonde hair. I got him when I was 21, after scouring the newspaper for weeks for teacup poodles and finally finding him. I wasn’t the first person to call about him, though, and the other person paid for him and took him home, but brought him back to the breeder when he cried all night. This one-day-owner told the breeder that Charlie, as he was then named, was so small they were worried that if they got mad at him they would hurt him. The breeder gladly took him back and called me to see if I wanted to come look at Charlie. I fell in love right away and took him home right then, renaming him Samson — as big of a name as I could think of for this little teeny dog.

I don’t even know when Samson started being aggressive. He wasn’t too fond of my first boyfriend, Riley, and in fact I considered giving him to a Poodle rescue group at that time. But I loved Samson too much, so kept him despite the few issues that it caused in our relationship.

At some point, I realized we had a problem when Samson would attack other dogs without provocation. I spent $1500 for a trainer to work on behavior modification. When I went to pick Samson up, he said, “He’s a little shit, isn’t he?” The point is not that the guy didn’t know what he was doing; he did. The point was that Samson has issues that can be curtailed with training, but probably won’t go away.

When Dave and I got married, Samson was still sleeping with me, and he liked to burrow under the covers. He bit both of our toes a couple of times, mistaking the movement for what, I don’t know, but drawing blood on each of us. I finally taught Samson to sleep in his crate, where he now prefers to spend the night.

Throughout this whole time, I’m spending thousands of dollars on Samson as we try to find out why this poodle is starting to look like a hairless Chihuahua. This dog…I’m telling you, he’s on his way to winning the ugliest dog contest. He hair is thin, at best. His skin is covered in liver spots, and his breath smells like shit because he eats, well, shit. Sometimes while it’s still steaming.

A little less than a year ago, a friend came over with her baby and 2-year-old daughter. I knew to keep Samson away, so I put him in our room while we hung out in the living room. We all left to let the 2-year-old play at the park, and when we came back, my friend was rounding up her stuff so she could leave. I didn’t bother putting Samson back in our room because my friend was leaving, but sure enough, he bit the 2-year-old. He bit her on the hand because she was reaching for something he wanted. He barely broke the skin, but I took Samson to the vet two days later to have him euthanized. I can’t have a dog around that bites children! The vet talked me out of it, saying that Samson “wasn’t committed to the bite.” She tried to provoke a bite while we were at her office, but of course he played the nice submissive dog.

Samson has snapped at Ethan three times now, leaving a scratch on Ethan’s hand twice. I know, it’s not a real bite, but does it matter? Does it matter that Samson isn’t “committed to the bite”? Do I keep Samson until he does some real damage?

When I found out I was pregnant, I called a poodle rescue organization, but given Samson’s age, health problems, and behavior issues, the woman didn’t think he could be re-homed.

I’ve become really good at keeping Samson away from Ethan. I know what Samson’s triggers are, so oftentimes I’ll put Samson in our bedroom if Ethan is playing on the floor or cruising around. Samson loves hanging out in our bedroom — everything smells like me and Dave and he can sleep on the bed without being bothered by anyone.

Someone recently posted this on Facebook:

I get it! I’ve got this dog for the long haul. I think that I’ve done everything I can for this dog, with this dog, and to this dog, but I’m at the end of my rope. I’m not going to risk a child’s well being with a dog that’s unpredictable.

The third snap at Ethan happened today. I called up Samson’s new vet to discuss our options. It’s so frustrating because the vet doesn’t want to put down a healthy dog, but neither do I! I’ve done the behavior modification. I’ve tried to keep any of Samson’s triggers out of the way, but I can’t police Samson 100% of the time. Today was a perfect example of how I can turn my back for just a second and somehow there’s a trigger and Samson’s snapping at Ethan.

The vet agreed to try to rehome Samson. Not only do I have guilt for needing to find Samson a new home, but now I have guilt that I’m feeling relieved. Relieved that I can let down my guard. Relieved that the problem might be solved. Relieved that the problem won’t be mine anymore.

I get it. I’ve failed my forever dog. But I promise that some day I’ll pay it forward and rescue a dog from a shelter, and that dog can be my forever dog.

How being a pet owner changes when you have kids. was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

How fast do you read?

trish — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 17:58:10 +0000

I got an email the other day from James at Distilled Creative telling me about this new app he created in partnership with Staples. The app calculates how fast you read, and “highlights how long you could use an eReader on a single charge base your reading ability.” How long I could use an e-reader on a single charge is interesting, but how fast I read? Fascinating! I’ve always thought I read kinda slow — I’m certainly no Jessica. But finding out how I measure up against all these other readers? YES PLEASE.

Here’s the app:

Source: Staples eReader Department

Myself? Here’s my score:

I didn’t capture my score from yesterday, but it was pretty close. You might want to try taking all three tests, because I think reading is something that you get faster at once you get in a groove.

I know this test is specifically for e-books, but I’m wondering how this translates to print books. It seems to take me about two minutes to read one page of a print book. A book that has me engrossed has me reading even faster, because I tend to do what’s probably more speed reading. If I’m savoring a book, loving the writing, etc, then I’m sure my reading slows down even more.

Take the test and feel free to share your score in the comments!

How fast do you read? was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Catching Up: One Sentence Reviews

trish — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 08:45:53 +0000

I’ve had four books sitting on my desk, waiting to be reviewed, for what seems like forever. I don’t want to move them off my desk until I’ve told you what I thought of them, but in the grand scheme of things, writing these reviews is a low low priority. I was inspired by Lu over at Regular Rumination and her Great Review Catch-Up of 2011. So here’s some very short reviews of the four books that have been begging to be reviewed. I’ll try to keep it to one sentence, but I’m not sure I can do that.

Before I Go to Sleep by S.J. Watson – Full disclosure: I did a blog tour for the hardcover and have put together a blog tour for the paperback. Even so, I really liked the book. The suspense ratcheted up quite nicely, and while I was able to guess the ending, I devoured it pretty quickly. The author does a great job of keeping the reader wondering who, exactly, is the crazy person in the book.

The All of It by Jeannette Haien – I picked up this book because Ann Patchett loves it and I love Ann Patchett. I want to be besties with Ann Patchett. A book club I’m in chose to read it, and it was okay, I thought there were a few things that the author did particularly well, but for me, it was a forgettable book. Patchett obviously disagrees with me, but I hope that she won’t hold that against me when we do eventually become besties.

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen – A decent novel, but not one I’ll be pressing into anyone’s hands.

Very Bad Men by Harry Dolan – One of the best books I read in 2011. FABULOUS. Made me go out and buy his first book. A really well written literary mystery. I was wondering why Amy Einhorn (she was the one who published The Help) was publishing a mystery, and now I get it. Love love love.

Catching Up: One Sentence Reviews was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

The Book Blogger Convention

trish — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 01:41:51 +0000

Michelle and I are pleased to announce the acquisition of the Book Blogger Convention by Reed Exhibitions (the folks who run Book Expo America (BEA))!

As many know, I have been organizing and running the Book Blogger Convention together with Michelle (and with the help of other bloggers) for two years now. It has been a labor of love, something that we created because it was something that WE wanted and thought other bloggers might enjoy as well. The support has been tremendous, and the responses after both years was thoughtful, insightful, and spurred us to new ideas.

Michelle ran the Book Blogger Convention this past year by herself. It was tough, but we were looking forward to planning the 2012 convention with the idea that I would be present. It quickly became apparent that with my having a new baby (and wanting more bebes) and Michelle dealing with some health issues, that planning another convention wouldn’t be feasible. We approached Reed about the possibility of purchasing the Book Blogger Convention. After quite a few discussions, it seemed like the best idea to have Reed run the Book Blogger Convention and Michelle and I would bow out.

We are confident in the direction that Reed will take the Book Blogger Convention, and we feel they will be able to do things with it that we were unable to do, either because we didn’t have the resources or we didn’t have the time.

Our hope is that the book blogging community embraces this new direction, and we look forward to seeing you in June at the Book Blogger Convention and Book Expo America!

The Book Blogger Convention was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Legit

trish — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 06:23:35 +0000

Ever since I’ve been blogging (and from looking at my archives, I’ve been blogging since 2007 (which, wow)), the question has come up: But do book blogs even SELL books? Does anyone take that recommendation to a store and BUY a book? Book bloggers and have been pounding their fist on the table insisting, YES! Books are being bought based on OUR recommendations. Unfortunately, all of the proof has been anecdotal.

Until now.

I was reading the latest issue of Shelf Awareness (a newsletter primarily for bookstores/booksellers) when I stumbled across a survey of consumer purchasing behavior. Obviously this survey was done specifically for bookstores — information such as whether more men or women bought books, their socioeconomic standing, etc. One of the questions asked was readers’ principle ways of finding out about new titles. Personal recommendations account for 49.2%, bookstore staff recommendations account for 30.8%, and if you continue reading, it turns out that 12.1% of readers polled find out about new titles from blogs.

12.1%

That’s huge. That’s a big enough chunk of the pie to have to have a piece of the pie showing blogs as a possibility. I don’t think any blogger claimed that they had more influence than, say, a bookseller at a local bookstore, but we do, in fact, have influence.

Obviously I didn’t need proof before now since I already knew this from experience, but it’s kinda nice to have it.

You can see the whole survey here, and the Shelf Awareness article here.

And just in case you can’t get the words too legit, too legit to quit hey hey…

Legit was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Mind Numbing

trish — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 03:18:00 +0000

I’m loving being a mom. I love it so much that I can’t wait to get pregnant again, and have felt this way since Ethan was…one month old? Something like that. Probably earlier than that since I was telling Dave I would do it again just hours after Ethan was born.

I’ve become some hybrid of a stay-at-home-mom slash work-at-home-mom. When Ethan was four months old, I realized I needed a day or two a week where I could sit down sans baby and work. My mother-in-law was kind enough to help out here and there, but she frequently travels down to San Diego to see her other grandkids and her stepmom, she travels, and she has far flung friends that she occasionally visits. Instead of being frustrated or bitter when she’d let me know she’d be gone for a period of time, I decided to put Ethan in day care twice a week. That way I didn’t have to count on her to watch Ethan so I could get work done, and when she is able to watch him, I’m nothing but grateful for the bonus work time.

On the three days a week that it’s just me and Ethan, we’re busy. We always have something to do during the day, and usually have two to three activities planned. Here’s a rundown of a typical week:

Monday – Playgroup with other (mostly) stay-at-home moms in the morning, frequently have lunch with a friend, home in the afternoon.

Tuesday – Storytime at the library at 10:15, frequently have lunch with a friend, and starting in March we’ll be doing a music class at 1pm. Generally will leave the house at 9am or earlier so I can drive around waiting for Ethan to fall asleep.

Wednesday – Ethan in day care.

Thursday – Mommy & Me class at 11am, though I usually leave the house around 9am to either run errands or drive around waiting for Ethan to fall asleep. Have lunch with some of the women in the Mommy & Me group, get home around 2pm.

Friday – Ethan in day care.

Saturday/Sunday – Family time. Dave usually watches Ethan so I can work.

I don’t have a lot of down time, and the downtime I DO have is packed with lunch appointments/play dates/activities. I realized without consciously thinking about it that entertaining a baby? Is mind numbing. MIND NUMBING. Let’s play with this toy! No? Not this one? How about this one? Want to nurse? Is your diaper wet? Are you tired? Why won’t you go down for a nap? Let’s get all your toys and strew them around the living room floor! And when you’re bored with everything else, here’s some knives for you to play with.

I’m sure entertaining a baby is interesting to someone, but it holds no interest for me. Don’t get me wrong — I absolutely love hanging out with Ethan. He’s my sidekick. We do almost everything together. I take him to committee meetings, I take him to book club meetings, I take him with me pretty much wherever I go. But trying to specifically entertain him with toys for any longer than 5 minutes? No thanks.

I’m sure at some point I’ll write a post about how I hate crafts. More on that when Ethan’s old enough to do crafts. I’ll be saying, Crafts are messy. Let’s go outside and get dirty instead.

Mind Numbing was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Sequel to The Passage to be published in September 2012

trish — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 18:12:15 +0000

I fell in love with The Passage by Justin Cronin within the first 30 pages. By the end of the over 700 pages, I was telling everyone about it and pressing it in to anyone’s hands I could. I’ve got the hardcover, paperback, and a couple of advance copies. I won’t loan out the hardcover (just in case someone doesn’t treat it with the right reverence) but I’ve loaned out the paperback and my advance copies.

The Passage is the first book in a planned trilogy, so for over 18 months I’ve been stalking Amazon and the Random House website to find any information I could about the sequel. I knew it would be titled The Twelve, but I wanted to know when I could buy it. FINALLY! I’ve got the information I’ve wanted!

The Twelve by Justin Cronin is set to be published on August 28, 2012.

Do I have my calendar marked with that date? You betcha. Here’s hoping that date doesn’t get pushed back.

Thanks to Ti from Book Chatter for alerting me of this via Facebook this morning, which she saw over at The Book Case.

Edited to add: Looks like the pub date got pushed back to October 16, 2012. Bummer. Thanks to Allison for the heads up.

Sequel to The Passage to be published in September 2012 was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Giving away books on World Book Night – April 23, 2012

trish — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 01:45:00 +0000

Do I even need to say anything to encourage you to do this?

We need 50,000 book-loving volunteers to fan out across America on April 23, 2012! Just take 20 free copies of a book to a location in your community, and you just might change someone’s life.
The goal is to give books to new readers, to encourage reading, to share your passion for a great book. The entire publishing, bookstore, library, author, printing, and paper community is behind this effort with donated services and time. And with a million free World Book Night paperbacks!
The first World Book Night was held in the UK last year, and it was such a big success that it’s spreading around the world! Please volunteer to be a book giver in the U.S. Sign up now to be a book giver. Read more about World Book Night on this site, from the free book list to the FAQs. Thank you!

Here’s the website.

If you were going to give away books to non or light readers, where would you start? What book would you press into someone’s hands?

Giving away books on World Book Night – April 23, 2012 was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.

Book Chat: Kidnap & Ransom by Michelle Gagnon

trish — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 01:11:53 +0000

Title: Kidnap & Ransom [buy the book]
Author: Michelle Gagnon [website] [FB] [Twitter]
Pages: 416
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
Date Published: November 1, 2010

Summary:

When the world’s foremost kidnap and ransom negotiator is snatched by a ruthless drug cartel, Jake Riley becomes ensnared in the effort to save him. But he’s up against Los Zetas, an elite paramilitary organization renowned for its ferocity and skill. Now he and his colleagues must navigate the dark underbelly of Mexico, from raging street wars to perilous jungles, in an effort to rescue him before time runs out.

After nearly losing her life on her last case, FBI Agent Kelly Jones may never do fieldwork again. Determined to regain her confidence, she joins Jake on his mission—and quickly realizes she’s in over her head. Then in the slums of Mexico City, she encounters a former nemesis who’s enacting a nightmarish ritual on the weak and vulnerable. Now she has one last, desperate shot to prove herself—by taking down a killer.

My thoughts:

As you know, I love me some good mysteries. Michelle Gagnon has become a favorite author of mine, and my only complaint is that I don’t have 20 backlist titles to choose from when I finish her latest book. At this point, I’ve read everything she’s written, and I’m chomping at the bit for more.

I read this quite a while ago, back in November 2010 when I was still working two jobs and reading was quickly becoming something that I used to do. At a time when reading time was at a premium and getting through a book could take a month or longer, I flew through this one in just a few days.

One of the reasons I particularly wanted to mention this book was because it’s been over a year since I read it, and while I normally can’t remember details from any books, I still remember that she did something in this book I’d have bet she’d never do. It took my head clean off.

If you’re a mystery fan, I absolutely recommend Michelle’s books. I know I haven’t said much about the plot, but that’s what the summary is for. I’m just here to tell you that you’re missing out if you’re not reading her books.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Book Chat: Kidnap & Ransom by Michelle Gagnon was originally published by Trish for Hey Lady! Whatcha Readin'? This post cannot be republished without express written permission.