Paradigmafifa

Have You Ever Seen the Rain in This Town?

2012-02-07T12:07:00.001-05:00

I let the wind pass me when I entered the coffee shop on the corner of Ovalo Guiterrez, minutes after I took off the bus with the red and white stripes written next to its name, Orion. My plan has changed and I felt little bit wicked about it but I feel wicked all the time, so I constantly feel terribly just fine thereafter. It was raining last night and when I walked out my building around six a.m, I thanked God for letting me bring my grey jumper. My grey jumper with navy blue embroidery accents placed right in the middle, formed the six letters city name: OREGON. I have never been to that city and haven´t think nor had imagine myself being there. And now I cant remember what was the reason for me to buy this jumper back when I was in Indonesia, couple years ago. But I dont consider ´reasoning´ as a vital aspect of buying things. Plus, I rarely buy things lately other than the things I eat. And the only reason why I eat is because I have to keep living. Let´s stop on that.

Some people say a cup of freshly ground coffee is what it takes to get people moving in, starting a day, a brand new day after last night´s fight with their lover, or mistress, or their one-night-stand´s partner, or their ex partner, or just themselves. I fought a lot with myself, like last night when I was irritated by my own mind. She said I should have become that twenty three years old female who should spend money on having fun, go to the party or just have a drink or two while watching live band play jazzy tunes at La Noche, the club where once I went with some Peruvians I had just met during my first month in Peru. Now I dont even remember any bit of that place. I just can´t picture myself in there, I just simply cant and why should I try to? All I wanna do right now is to take a deep breath, start sippin´ my black coffee and keep writing.

Today is today and tomorrow is a brand new day. What happened to yesterday? Why I feel so dark and dull when I think about the time that has passed? I become super romantic whenever I start to look back on memories, probably because they all died in my mind but live in my heart. And I´m a romantic at heart. How useless I would be if I keep writing when the sky ask me to go out and see how different Lima within a rainy day like this. Raining is not for Lima and I could start telling you how many times I have been here and watching over the poured water mingling mystifyingly. It wouldn´t take more than 5 fingers. In fact, they never came more than once in a month. I think it´s hard to be a romantic person in this city. Probably that´s why: The rain is just never want to come. Which is annoying, for me.

What´s the story morning glory?

2012-02-01T10:29:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning with one thought and one thought only: Damn. It´s February already. What would be the story? I dont know. Another same story? Another same question? I dont know. How to make it different? How?

Photo by Julian Bialowas. Check out his super inspiring project: 365q

Perseverance

2012-01-29T01:31:00.003-05:00

That´s like my very voice within. Never Never Give Up!

I just read the old post from my favourite ¨slap-me-on-my-face-motivational-site¨ Chris Guillebeau´s ¨The Art of Non Conformity,¨ with the title called ¨Ever Feel Like Giving Up?¨ To that question, I really wanna scream one thing and one thing only : YEAAAHH!!!!

There were certain times in my life when I feel like I just wanna cry and do nothing else but keep crying. Just try to release my emotional feelings at that moment, and wish for all bad moods and sentiments will be gone away. And after that I would see my stupid face on the mirror, tired of all the efforts I´ve made on crying, yet satisfied afterwards. At least I think, I´m satisfied. But apparently solving problems by let it just go like that (by crying) and then try to remember that tomorrow is a brand new day is not always good (my personal opinion). I recently started to believe that I dont like setting myself to just let some things off from my radar and pretend like ¨Oh c´mon there would be next time, next day, next stop, chill!¨

I learn to say these words to myself over and over again: ¨Remember, learning how to solve problem is taking yourself one step closer to what we call ´maturity.´ Do you wanna be that better human being with better personality? Or you just wanna get older by age not by its maturity in life?¨

Regarding to my weakness on tackling-solving problems immediately, Guillebeau´s article reminds me of one word that answer all of those worries of mine. Perseverance.

I will wholefully copy-paste things about ¨perseverance¨ from this website. Feel free to see directly from the source site or here. It is very meaningful for me and hopefully would always remind us all about how important it is to have commitment and being hard to ourselves (for spesific reason).

Before we jump on the copy-paste article, I wanna put Dale Carnegie´s quote here that suddenly remind me of one person and his inspiring biography by Walter Isaacson:

¨Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all.¨

Oh all the misfits and the rebels (and the drop-outs?)

The copy-paste article about ¨Perseverance.¨

What is perseverance?

Perseverance is commitment, hard work, patience, endurance.
Perseverance is being able to bear difficulties calmly and without complaint.
Perseverance is trying again and again.

You show perseverance when you ...

Give up your tv time to spend hours studying
Try a new sport that is very difficult but you don't give up
Have a learning disability but keep studying even when discouraged
Come from a home where there is fighting and unhappiness but you still try your best
Have missed a week of school but you work hard to catch up
Are at the end of a difficult race but you cross the finish line
Save money and make sacrifices to buy something
Spend hours practicing on your music
Study and work hard to raise your grade
Try out for something you weren't successful at the first time

Proverbs and maxims

Failure is the path of least persistence.
All things will come round to him who will but wait. (Longfellow)
Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly will acquire the skill to do difficult things easily.
Work hard and give it your best shot; never be a quitter. (Charley Taylor)

More quotes on perseverance

Victory belongs to the most persevering. (Napoleon Bonaparte)
Hitch your wagon to a star. (Emerson)
To persevere, trusting in what hopes he has, is courage to a man. (Euripides)
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. (Beverly Sills)
Many strokes overthrow the tallest trees. (John Lyly)

People who persevered despite handicaps and disabilities

Beethoven (composer) - was deaf
Ray Charles (musician) - is blind
Thomas Edison (inventor) - had a learning problem
Albert Einstein (scientist) - had a learning disability
Terry Fox (runner) - is an amputee with cancer
Stevie Wonder (musician) - is blind
James Earl Jones (actor) - was a stutterer
Helen Keller (author) - was deaf and blind
Marlee Matlin (actress) - is deaf
Franklin D. Roosevelt (president) - was paralyzed from polio
Vincent Van Gogh (artist) - was mentally ill
Woodrow Wilson (president) - had a learning problem
Itzhak Perlman (concert violinist) - was paralyzed from the waist down
Stephen Hawking (physicist) - had Lou Gehrig's disease (of the nervous system)

Heroes and heroines

Susan B. Anthony was a women's rights activist who spent her entire life working for a constitutional amendment giving women the right to vote.
Marie Curie was a physicist who published 32 scientific papers and continued to study sources of radioactivity over many years.
Amelia Earhart became famous as the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean and as an advocate of aviation and women's rights.
Babe Didrikson Zaharias was a great American female athlete who excelled in many sports.
Benjamin Franklin was a leading scientist, inventor, publisher, and politician whose persistence, patience, and hard work paid off. He is on our $100 bill.
Wilma Randolph was an Olympics Gold medalist in track who was not able to walk properly as a child.
El Chino was the first Chinese matador in Spain.
Martin Luther King, Jr. worked very hard to lead the civil rights movement in the 1960's. He withstood prejudice and resistance to change.

Put perseverance into action

When something starts to bother you, wait as long as you can before you express frustration.
When something doesn't work right, try again and again.
Don't lose your temper when something upsets you.
Always finish what you start.
Keep working at something that is difficult until you complete it.
Don't give up on difficult jobs or situations.
Focus on someone or something that ordinarily makes you lose your patience and try to understand it (and don't "lose it").
Work a little harder or a few minutes longer on a task that you do not like.

Community service ideas

Volunteer to work in the library, at a nature center, or in an animal shelter doing tasks that require a great deal of patience and persistence.
Organize a campaign to promote good study habits in your school.
Help with the recycling project at your school and community.

Not so cool ways to cope

Escape or avoid your problems.
Blame yourself.
Blame other people.
Blame chance.
Blame other things, forces, or powers.

Cool ways to cope

Face and accept what happens in your life.
Express your feelings.
Write about your feelings.
Get help if you need it.
Try to make it better.
Take good care of yourself.
Learn and grow from your experiences, including the ones that hurt.

Activities

Write in your journal about difficult situations and how you handled them without giving up.
Write a poem about suffering, what you can learn from it, how to face it, how not to hurt others, or anything else about obstacles.
Collect stories, poems, diaries, or quotations by writers about persistence.
Brainstorm cures for "the blues."
Learn what Galileo (a famous astronomer) or other scientist endured with opposition faced during his or her lifetime.
Find out what help is there for people who face difficult situations - counselors, psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists, therapists.
Create a skit that shows what to do when disaster strikes.
Explore the healing power of music.
Explore the healing power of exercise.
Explore the healing power of pets.
Put some extra effort into a project that is difficult and try to improve your skill (like public speaking or learning a dance).

Two months blogging break and question about broken life

2012-01-28T10:04:00.003-05:00

Okay I got it.

The last time I wrote a piece on my blog was....... three years ago? Oh no wait, it was two months ago. Several times I pledged to learn how to write consistently excellent along with finding out about how to improve SEO, while in fact I proved the other way around. I became inactive in a social world, not only on blogging but also Twitter and even Facebook (Did I just make Facebook sounds like taking shower?) I pretend like the real world is much more important than this thing inside my laptop. I have started this ´I-need-privacy´ life. No facebook status updates, no tweets other than links I provided people to click on to, and other than that, I have become an observer, 24/7 reader, and a passive entity in this social connected era.

I used to be a conversationalist. Well I think I was. I loved to talk and share perspectives with others, I actively engaged in several discussions with my friends from college, or random new people I met on new places. In a shorter words: I opened myself for everybody. But now, I think I am not the person I used to be. One of the reason, probably, because lately I have realized that I was one of those people who were mentioned on Susan Cain´s ´based on-sixth-years-research´ book called Quite, as ¨The introvert who pretend to be the extrovert.¨

Do I really enjoy being around people? Make them laugh, share stories, taking pictures and show the world how content I am as a twenty three years old woman. Or actually the whole ´being with friends´ were just only my way in order to get myself labelled as a fun-to be-with person? A way to get myself acknowledged by the society around me. Do I really that demanding with my social life even though deep down inside I have started to believe that my life is all about me and my own journey? The experiences I embrace, the lessons I learn along the way, the exquisite natural beauty crafted in my personal view, the positive marks I leave for others, the impact I create, the spirituality I found deep within me, and so on, and so on, until I believe, in life, nothing else matter.

Back to what Susan Cain mentioned on her book about ´the extrovert and the introvert,´ I keep thinking about the word over and over again. Pretending. It may sound stupid for some people to read these following statement, but I just wanna tell everybody that I even opened several tabs looking for the definition of the word ´Pretend.´ Here are the following meaning I found on Dictionary.com:

pretend [pri-tend]

1. to cause or attempt to cause (what is not so) to seem so;

2. to appear falsely, as to deceive;

3. to make believe;

4. to presume;

5. to allege or profess, especially insincerely or falsely;

6. to make pretensions.

Do I pretending my life away? What´s the matter with being radical honest within society that seems wanting us to be ´a person with million friends?´ When was the last time I told friend that I dont like the way she/he talks to me? I think, I have never said that because I was afraid to do so. I was not brave enough to tell to someone straight to her/his face about something that I dont like from them, profoundly because: I was afraid to be that person. I was afraid to hurt their feelings, I was afraid to be hated. I was afraid to have someone who would ended up talk behind my back about how rude I was. The main point is: I was too afraid to be an honest person.

There is this great point I read on Amber Rae´s post on her Tumblr, titled ¨Cut the Bullshit: Radical honesty, living naked, and the lies we tell ourselves,¨

¨In order to have authentic relationships with others, we first need to have more radically honest relationships with ourselves.¨

I need to be honest to myself first in order to have authentic relationships with others. That´s probably the main reason why I feel lately like I have broken relationships with almost everyone. A friend who never give any response to my facebook message, or another friend who seems to take some space from me, and other sentimental feelings I have to others. Now I realize those worries are not my main problems. The real task for me is to define who I really am, to be honest to myself, to have a two way communication with my inner space. To become my very own best friend, to find a peaceful life. To find a peace deep within me. To know what is peace and to learn more about how to achieve it.

Two months have passed since my last post about diplomacy, another global affairs issue on my blog. I wouldn´t stop writing about that, since that is one of my interests in life. But together with my effort to learn about what´s happening outside, I also ask myself to look and carefully learn what lies inside. To have an honest relationship with myself. To be honest of who I really I am and what I really want in life. To be who I really want to be. And the most important of all: To overcome the fear of being alone. It is so okay to be alone.

Pretending is so last centuries :)

Diplomacy? What is Diplomacy Now?

2011-11-25T12:15:00.002-05:00

Questioning ´Diplomacy´ and its existence in contemporary global political order

China will tell you what it is.

For Beijing, it is more than what Ernst Gellner wrote on his masterpiece ¨Nations and Nationalism,¨ where he mentioned the term as something inseparable from a powerful political force. Diplomacy for Chinese is not through political approach, but more into its economic stance towards global order, or in a constelation of what Yale´s scholar Immanuel Wallerstein called as ¨The Modern World System.¨

When it comes to negotiation, China only has two things to say: FOLLOW ME, and seems like they already have many followers who will never be able to say (referring to twitterland) Follow Me Back. Thanks to its ability to stand strong among the global economy crisis and the continuing strength of its currency, has made economist even jokingly calculated that a year in Chinese time is equivalent to five years anywhere else . They are clearly unbeatable. Clearly.

No wonder, lately, I believe Chinese understand the idiom ¨Vini, Vidi, Vici¨ (I came, I saw, I conquered) more than the real Romans.

Apparently, when it comes to ´diplomacy,´ the use of this word are just too demanding for China. Just like now, when the never-ending disputes of South China Sea (SCS) appear and raise another tension again among its claimants (Vietnam, Philliphines, Malaysia, and Brunei), China has made it very clear that they will always be stony-hearted on this issue, even if they announced the other way around.

Henceforth, before the East Asia Summit in Bali, China´s Assistant Foreign Minister Liu Zhenmin confidently asserted that disputes in the South China Sea should be resolved between the ´parties concerned´ bilaterally. This short statement, according to former secretary-Ministry of External Affairs of India, RS Kalha, showing that, clearly, China little did realize how isolated they had become in this issue.

In fact, for other claimants, this case is too severe to be solved under bilateral and so-called diplomatic way. But so far, Chinese still hold the remote control. They know how to act and when is the right time to.

In 1974, the Chinese seized the Paracels island from Vietnam, killing several Vietnamese troops. Then, in 1988, the two sides clashed in the Spratly Island, when Vietnam again came off worse, losing 70 sailors. Knowing the long dispute had stoked tensions between these Communist-ruled neighbours, the two countries signed the agreement on Oct. 2011, ¨remain committed to friendly consultations in order to properly handle maritime issues and make the South China Sea a sea of peace, friendship and cooperation,¨ said the agreement, according to China´s Xinhua news agency.

Reached the agreement with Vietnam, on the other hand, China has long been continuing its claim on Scarborough Shoal, where also contested by the Philliphines. Through its diplomat, Philliphines remains strong with its intention to bring the case into the International Tribunal for the Law of the Sea (ITLOS). The idea which obviously rejected by Chinese, bearing the probability where China may not be able to maintain its stated position in accordance with the UN Convention on The Law of the Sea (UNCLOS), would be a serious loss face for China.

Another part of the conflict is Spratly Island, claimed in whole or in part by China along with Brunei, Malaysia, Philiphines and Vietnam. Adds another reason for leaders from the region to ask for the third parties to take part as a mediator of this conflict. When China could preferably insist on taking bilateral way in Paracels island and Scarborough Shoal cases, the latest one absolutely would have to be solved under the multilateral scheme.

What happened next immensely prove Samuel Huntington´s prediction, ¨It will take a long time, and certainly the West will remain the dominant power into the next century, but the decline is occurring.¨ The West is coming closer to the region and distracting Chinese through its participation in East Asia Summit (where the Asian leaders seem trying to gain more support for the disputes on the SCS), even when there are many problems at home.

When I say ´West,´ do not imagine European counterparts. Paraphrasing Kishore Mahbubani in his latest article on Financial Times, ¨The time when European summits provide glimpses of the future world order are gone,¨ those folks predictably are working hard not to bring back the middle ages moments into the continent, mixing and matching the puzzle of its economic crisis.

Working on the same main task to create a better economy, be compared with Europe, the United States is heading into a totally different foreign policy direction. Amid the domestic crisis, Uncle Sam shows their latest belief: After the Middle East, here comes The Real East.

From Australia to Indonesia, Obama latest trip has brought a new level of regional tensions, escalating gloomy political climate with China. Reached the deal with Julia Gillard for the brand new US navy based at the northern territory of Australia (the closest to mainland Asia, only 820 km from Indonesia) where within five years will be the new house for 2.500 US marines, Obama said it very clear in his speech to the Australian Parliament, ¨United States is shifting its military weight from the Middle East to the Pacific.¨

Another move, furthermore, burning China to the ground with the US ambitious trade initiative with 12 countries called Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP), which obviously seeks to keep China out.

This is more than clear for anybody who could read these paths of U.S. foreign policy. Washington done with Af-Pak (Afghanistan-Pakistan), leave it two with ambiguity of each future. In a broader context, after the glorious May when Bin Laden died, plus the Arab turmoil which has buried Ghaddafi in a history, now U.S. is craving for more delicate issue.

Thankfully, the time is so right for Obama´s government to bring back the Asians into the centre of world´s attention. As a pivotal point of current economic growth, Asia is nothing else than the essential source for the global renaissance. Too diversed and too many interests within the region, the idleness of ASEAN (Association of South East Asian Nations) as the region´s non-intervention community, plus China´s ballistic diplomacy to its neighbours, have become the reasons why U.S. smoothly re-entries the battlefield.

On his visit to Asia late October, U.S. Secretary of Defence, Leon Panetta, addressed the U.S. visionary decision to be the third party in this fruitful area, by saying, ¨I want to make very clear that the United States is going to remain a presence in the Pacific for a long time. If anything, we are going to strengthen our presence in the Pacific.¨

´Remain a presence´ and ´strengthen the presence,´ isn´t that clear enough for everybody in Asia, that the United States has officially landed its ammunition to join the races on South China Sea? The real amazing race episode is now on, everybody!

Anytime, U.S. would be easier to send their army to any country in Asia, thanks to Australia. This, once again, will make any rational people deliberately ask, ´so what is diplomacy now?´ The modern world is taking the opposite steps where the military spending in the Asia region is increasing altogether, strengthening their defence networks. Vietnam has increased its defence budget by 70 per cent this year while Indonesia announced a 35 per cent increase in its defence outlay. In the Korean peninsula, the Republic of Korea (RoK) is building a large naval base on Jeju island. Also, the U.S. has agreed to support 145 Taiwanese F-16 fighters. Similarly, Malaysia and Singapore have increased their defence purchases. Are these all among the so-called diplomatic steps?

The war is on

Now wondering what is diplomacy? Do not waste your time to open international law text books. Today, diplomacy is nothing more than a symbol of state participation in a global order, if there is any. The concrete steps are in the fields where millions of money splurged into military equipments. That is what diplomacy is now, not only for China with its latest decision on naval exercises in the Pacific Ocean amid the South China Sea conflict. All countries define the ´diplomacy´ word as an old fashioned term in a sovereign states lullaby. In fact, the next question is, ´what is sovereignty?´

Now let´s wait. Do they –who came all the way into a far away land and built its naval army base to furtherly take part in that region´s disputes- know what does that ´sovereignty´ mean? I heard the President graduated from Harvard Law School. Probably next summit, we could ask this: ´what is international law, Sir?´

Clock is ticking.

Exactly.

Lima-Peru,

Ayunda Tafsa Afifa

ayunda.afifa [at] gmail.com

Feel it.

2011-11-22T21:34:00.001-05:00

FEEL IT. YOUR FREEDOM TO ASK AND KEEP ASKING.

....terdapatlah mereka-mereka yang mempertanyakan ketuhanan, agama, dan segala dogma tentang ada dan tiada. Lalu oleh mereka-mereka yang mengaku beragama, para manusia yang bertanya ini dianggap sebagai kaum-kaum yang terhina, dicaci dan selayaknya dipaksakan untuk mengakui apa-apa yang selama ini diakui para umat beragama. Bagi mereka, bertanya adalah awal dari semua kebimbangan, dan ini merupakan gerbang menuju hal yang ditakuti: kehilangan para sesamanya. Namun sesungguhnya, tidakkah mereka yang beragama itu mengerti satu inti dari situasi ini? Bahwa dengan bertanya, maka sama dengan mencari tahu. Bahwa dengan mencari tahu, maka timbul kesadaran untuk membuktikan mana yang benar dan mana yang salah. Dan tidakkah itu inti dan segala inti dari ilmu? Untuk dipertanyakan, dicari tahu, dan dibuktikan? Dan bukankah menurut agama yang mereka percayai, sesungguhnya ditinggikan derajat para manusia yang berilmu? Maka pertanyaan selanjutnya adalah, siapakah di antara dua kaum ini yang akan ditinggikan derajatnya? Yang diam dan menerima, atau yang bertanya dan mencari tahu? -AA-

Surat Terbuka Untuk Ayah : Patria o Muerte, Papa!

2011-11-14T01:08:00.002-05:00

Teruntuk seorang lelaki yang ku kenal 23 tahun lamanya sembari menarik nafas di bumi.

Surat terbuka untuk Ayah.

Pernah ada suatu hari di dalam lembaran memori otak ku yang tidak ada apa-apanya ini, aku mendengar Ayah berkata, ¨Kalau kamu banyak makan sayur, maka kamu akan bisa terbang seperti burung di angkasa sana.¨

Dengan ketololanku di usia itu, aku percaya.

Aku ingat betapa seringnya sejak saat itu aku mengkonsumsi sayuran, ditambah dengan kelezatan masakan ibu tercinta, seorang ibu rumah tangga yang membaktikan dirinya untuk keluarga, aku semakin berharap hari itu akan tiba. Hari dimana aku akan bisa menyapa burung-burung di angkasa raya dan mentertawakan entitas-entitas kecil yang terlihat dari ketinggian di atas sana.

Ayah, dengan bertumbuhnya aku dan pribadiku sebagai manusia, aku tersadar bahwa semua itu hanya untaian kata yang sengaja Ayah rangkaikan untukku, agar aku mau memakan sayuran, yang semuanya tidak lebih untuk alasan kesehatan.

Namun lebih daripada itu, sesungguhnya terselip satu makna dari kalimat yang Ayah berikan padaku saat itu, yang hingga saat ini tanpa Ayah sadari selalu membuatku mengingat lagi kata-kata Ayah dulu itu: Bahwa tidak ada yang tidak mungkin di dunia ini, termasuk untuk terbang lebih tinggi daripada rasionalitas yang ada, menerjang jauh segala paradigma dan terlepas dari belenggu norma-norma.

´MUSTAHIL´ tidak lebih dari sebuah kata, bukan begitu Ayah?

Ayah, bukan kah bukannya tidak mungkin kita sebagai anak bangsa Indonesia yang selalu disebut sebagai generasi yang datang dari negara dunia ketiga oleh para penjajah imperialis dari negeri seberang, akan dapat suatu hari nanti berdiri tegak menyatakan, ¨Kami putra-putri Indonesia, bukan putra-putri negara dunia ketiga,¨ bukankah begitu, Ayah?

Ayah, kita -manusia- adalah saksi sejarah.

Dengan hampir setengah abad usia Ayah, tentu Ayah ´menyaksikan´ sendiri bagaimana dulu mahasiswa-mahasiswa di tanggal 15 januari 1974, memblokade pangkalan udara Halim Perdanakusuma untuk menolak kedatangan perdana menteri Jepang (Tanaka Kakuei) dan pihak asing yang ingin menegosiasikan perihal modal asing di negeri kaya raya ini? Aku yang belum terlahir ke dunia pada saat itu, dewasa ini cukup terkesima membaca cerita tentang Malapetaka Limabelas Januari (Malari) di beragam media dan buku sejarah.

Seorang anak menyaksikan mahasiswa berdemonstrasi dalam peristiwa Malari
(Source; Google Search)

Mengapa pemimpin Indonesia seperti pada saat itu Soeharto, dengan dalih kebutuhan negara atas investasi asing, seakan takut dan gentar terhadap mereka-mereka yang disebut-sebut sebagai Negara Dunia Kesatu atau well developed nations? Mengapa pemimpin seperti Soeharto malah berbalik menentang rakyatnya, mengerahkan pasukan militernya untuk membubarkan demonstrasi para mahasiswa?

Ayah, ketika di tahun 1993, lima tahun usiaku, aku tidak tahu bahwa di bulan Mei telah terbunuh seorang wanita Indonesia yang berteriak meminta keadilan untuk dirinya dan teman-temannya sesama buruh pabrik di Jawa Timur. Marsinah -wanita itu- disiksa hingga tewas setelah beberapa lamanya memperjuangkan hak para pekerja pabrik untuk meminta kenaikan gaji dari seribu tujuh ratus rupiah menjadi dua ribu dua ratus lima puluh rupiah.

Ia, Marsinah, adalah sosok warga negara Indonesia yang meminta haknya dari pengusaha berkelas yang memompa tenaga para manusia yang digajinya lalu memaksimalkan pencapaian keuntungan tanpa mempedulikan hak-hak dasar seorang manusia. Marsinah tewas tanpa daya dan tanpa upaya aparat pemerintahan dalam mengusut tuntas kasus tragis pembunuhannya. Semua terdakwa pada akhirnya diputus bebas murni oleh yang memiliki kekuasaan di dunia hukum Indonesia, yang katanya terhormat dan membela semua rakyat Indonesia tanpa terkecuali. Prek cuih.

Ayah, kalau memang benar kata-kata itu, bahwa dengan sayuran maka kita manusia akan dapat terbang tinggi, dapatkah aku terbang dan tak kembali kesini?

Pergi jauh dari tempat dimana anak-anak mudanya dibuat tuli oleh pekak kesenangan yang membuat lupa akan realita.

Dimana jurang antara si kaya dan si miskin bahkan telah menjajah dan menganga lebar di institusi terhormat bernama lembaga pendidikan.

Dimana begitu banyak orang tua murid yang harus berhutang untuk melunasi SPP anaknya.

Dimana begitu banyak orang tua yang tidak lagi mengajarkan sopan santun pada anaknya sehingga anaknya tidak menaruh hormat pada pesuruh, pada saudaranya sendiri yang mau-tidak-mau harus bekerja dan disebut sebagai pembantu.

Mengapa kita berteriak marah pada pemimpin sebuah lembaga pendidikan yang memberi penghargaan pada raja suatu negeri yang (katanya) tidak bertindak manakala banyak tenaga kerja wanita kita disiksa di negerinya, mengapa kita marah? Di tanah ini sendiri, di tanah kelahiran mereka sendiri, para pekerja rumah tangga itu juga banyak yang dimarjinalkan oleh kaum berduit yang menganggap dirinya bertingkat-tingkat lebih baik dibandingkan seorang manusia lulusan SD dari daerah perkampungan yang datang ke kota untuk membuat berkilau lantai rumah dan menyuapi anak-anak si orang kaya tersebut.

Ayah, kalau memang benar kata-kata itu, bahwa dengan sayuran maka kita manusia akan dapat terbang tinggi, dapatkah aku terbang dan tak kembali kesini?

Mengapa aku harus bertahan di suatu negeri dimana televisi dan medianya dikuasai oleh para politisi berduit melimpah?

Apalah hakikat dari distribusi informasi dalam tatanan kehidupan berbangsa dan bernegara selain meluruskan yang tidak lurus dan membenarkan yang tidak benar?

Apakah media yang dikuasai borjuis yang tega menenggelamkan sebuah desa bernama Sidoarjo lewat perusahaan keluarganya, maka akan dapat kita jadikan pegangan untuk mengetahui kebenaran?

Apakah media yang dikuasai oleh pengusaha kaya yang menghabiskan milyaran rupiah untuk merayakan ulang tahun pernikahannya yang disorot oleh tiga stasiun televisi miliknya, yang berarti disaksikan jutaan mata rakyat Indonesia, yang mungkin ada di antara mereka adalah petani, buruh pabrik, nelayan, pekerja rumah tangga, pemotong rumput, penjaga ronda, apakah patut kita menatap layar milik orang tanpa kharisma dan empati pada sesama?

Terbangkan aku, wahai Ayahku. Ke sebuah negeri dimana pemimpin tidak hanya berbadan besar dan bergelar kehormatan dari negera ini dan negara anu, tapi juga mampu berkata-kata berani selain hanya menebar kata ´saya prihatin´ dan mengundang iba seluruh negeri.

Terbangkan aku, wahai Ayahku. Ke sebuah negeri dimana aku dapat bertemu dengan para anggota dewan yang tidak hanya menderetkan jumlah rodanya di dalam garasi lalu berteriak ´selamatkan bumi´ di televisi dan berdalih bahwa ia peduli pada isu perubahan iklim, dimana di saat yang sama ia adalah salah satu konsumen terbesar bahan bakar minyak di negeri ini.

Terbangkan aku, wahai Ayahku. Ke sebuah tempat dimana para manusia terhormatnya tidak tanpa malu mencari-cari apel malang dan apel washington untuk dikonsumsi perut-perut keturunannya.

Terbangkan aku, wahai Ayahku. Ke sebuah masa di mana aku telah mampu mengimplementasikan kata-kata dan mimpiku menjadi sebuah proses nyata untuk meneriakkan yang benar itu benar dan yang salah itu salah.

Apa yang benar dan apa yang salah, merupakan sebuah subyektifitas yang seperti diungkapkan Hume dalam salah satu konversasinya dengan Socrates, ¨All truth are easy to understand once they are discovered. The point is to discover them.¨

The point is to discover the truth, Ayah.

Maka Ayah, andaikata aku dapat terbang pun, aku akan tetap disini.

Andaikata aku mengepakkan sayapku terbang, aku akan kembali.

Andaikata kini aku telah berada di bagian lain dari bumi kelahiranku, tempat asal darahku mengalir, tidaklah lebih untuk ´mencuri´ apa-apa yang dimiliki bangsa lain dan belajar banyak dari mereka, untuk suatu waktu membangun bangsaku sendiri.

Ayah, ceritamu tentang sayuran dan ´kebohongan´ mu tentang kebisaanku untuk terbang, telah menjadi suatu cerita bermakna yang melebihi apa yang bisa ditangkap oleh sebuah penalaran belaka.

Terima kasih Ayah, terima kasih untuk menjadi sosok yang membuatku terus bertanya. Terima kasih untuk menumbuhkanku dengan cara yang tak biasa. Terima kasih untuk segala kesederhanaan yang Ayah bina agar selalu ada dalam keluarga ini.

Karena sesungguhnya Ayah, lewat pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu lah aku tidak cepat menjadi puas dan menerima pembenaran manusia di sekitarku. Dengan cara yang tidak biasa itu lah aku memperjalankan diriku dalam petualangan-petualangan untuk sebanyak mungkin melihat dunia ini. Dan sesungguhnya, menjadi sederhana adalah sebuah cara terhormat untuk hidup saat ini. Karena kini, tidak ada yang lebih berharga dari sebuah harga diri.

Surat terbuka untuk Ayahku, seorang manusia yang terus bertanya dan mengajarkanku untuk terus pula bertanya.

Semoga sayap ini cukup kokoh menjaga ku hingga kembali. Patria o muerte, Papa!

Putri pertamamu yang berada 3 jam penerbangan dari pegunungan Sierra Maestra, tempat terlaksananya revolusi kuba, revolusi yang berasal dari mimpi-mimpi pemuda :)

Remembering Howard Zinn 1922-2010

2011-10-27T03:28:00.001-05:00

¨I´m worried that students will take their obedient place in society and look to become succesful cogs in the wheel - let the wheel spin them around as it wants without taking a look at what they´re doing. I´m concerned that students not become passive acceptors of the official doctrine that´s handed down to them from the media, textbooks, teachers, and preachers...¨

Howard Zinn

Pertanyaan atas Peran Kaum Intelektual

2011-10-25T23:37:00.001-05:00

Lima tahun lalu, di bulan Agustus tahun 2006, saya meninggalkan Jakarta dan sekitarnya untuk memulai hidup baru sebagai mahasiswa ilmu hukum di Universitas Gadjah Mada, Yogyakarta.

Sebagai remaja yang tumbuh besar dengan bacaan di bidang ilmu sosial, sejak masa sekolah menengah pertama saya sudah tahu bahwa ilmu hukum adalah tempat yang (saya rasa) akan tepat untuk saya ambil kelak di jenjang perguruan tinggi. Ketertarikan saya pada isu-isu global, pada perjalanannya membawa saya pada keputusan memilih jurusan ´hukum internasional´ di tahun ketiga saya di sekolah hukum.

Kini, satu tahun lebih sejak saya dinyatakan lulus dalam sidang skripsi/penulisan hukum di bulan Agustus 2010 silam, saya duduk termenung dengan bayangan-bayangan flashback tentang masa-masa saya sebagai mahasiswa hukum.

Saya rasa pendidikan formal (hanyalah) merupakan sebuah proses yang dibentuk sedemikian rupa hingga (terlihat) menjadi tahapan penting dalam kehidupan seseorang di negeri ini atau sekarang ini.

Dalam penjabaran verbal yang lebih sederhana, saya berpandangan bahwa jalur pendidikan tinggi di Indonesia saat ini lebih menjadi produk jualan oleh kalangan universitas atau penyedia jasa, dengan didukung oleh golongan akademis elit yang membentuk cara pandang pluralis bahwa ¨tanpa gelar pendidikan, maka kesuksesan hidup adalah tidak lebih dari sebuah bayangan.¨

Saya selalu mengingat kata-kata atau quote dari Mahatma Gandhi, ¨You must be the change you want to see in the world,¨ saya percaya bahwa saya harus menjadi sosok yang saya harapkan di masa depan. Imajinasi saya akan ´sosok itu,´ menjaga ambisi dan kepercayaan diri saya untuk berjalan menuju jalur yang saya maksud.

Gelar yang saya dapat di bangku kuliah tidaklah lebih dari dua variabel alfabet (S dan H) yang pada akhirnya membuat saya mempertanyakan relevansi dari penempatannya di belakang nama saya, kaitannya dengan sosok ´Siapa Saya´, serta bayangan tentang saya di masa depan.

Dengan terus menanjaknya ´harga´ yang harus dibayar demi lahirnya sebuah gelar akademis, saya bertanya pada diri saya sendiri: Apakah untuk menjadi pribadi yang dapat membawa perubahan bagi masyarakat saya harus ´mengorbankan´ orang tua saya untuk terus berjuang dalam tatanan yang mengkerdilkan kelas pekerja?

Empat tahun yang menjadi kewajiban minimal rata-rata di perguruan tinggi di Indonesia untuk pada akhirnya diakhir dengan langkah manis di podium dan diberi gelar ¨Sarjana¨, telah menjadi semacam beban bagi para orang tua yang terus dipaksa roda sistem yang memaksa pekerja untuk berkontribusi banyak pada tempatnya bekerja, dan terus digerus haknya untuk dapat hidup layak sebagai manusia.

Rekayasa ini semakin dipertajam dengan sikap angkuh penyedia lapangan pekerjaan yang meminimalisasi persyaratan untuk para pencari kerja dengan peletakkan syarat pendidikan strata satu atau sarjana. Ketika pendidikan menjadi monopoli kaum-kaum bermodal, yang belakangan ini digambarkan dengan representasi angka ¨Si 1%,¨ maka pantas kah mewajibkan hal semacam itu bagi rakyat Indonesia yang berjumlah 200 juta manusia ini?

Maka pada akhirnya, mereka yang bertahan adalah mereka yang berkemampuan. Mereka yang bermodal, mereka yang mampu menyetor jutaan hingga puluhan juta rupiah ke rekening universitas setiap enam bulannya. Mereka yang dibuat bangga dengan nama almamaternya, mereka yang dibuat lupa dengan tujuan sesungguhnya dari statusnya sebagai kaum intelektual.

Dalam salah satu essai terkenalnya yang dipublikasikan pada tahun 1967, pemikir Amerika, imigran yahudi yang vokal menyuarakan perlawanan atas sistem kapitalisme dan rekayasa kemapanan global, Noam Chomsky, menjabarkan pendapatnya mengenai tanggung jawab sesungguhnya dari mereka yang menyebut dirinya sebagai kaum intelektual:

¨THE RESPONSIBILITY OF INTELLECTUALS¨

¨…..with respect to the responsibility of intellectuals, there are still other, equally disturbing questions. Intellectuals are in a position to expose the lies of governments, to analyze actions according to their causes and motives and often hidden intentions. In the western world, at least, they have the power that comes from political liberty, from access to information and freedom of expression. For a privileged minority, Western democracy provides the leisure, the facilities, and the training to seek the truth lying hidden behind the veil of distortion and misrepresentation, ideology and class interest, through which the event of current history are presented to us.¨

Pertanyaan Chomsky mengenai peran sesungguhnya dari kaum intelektual menjadi pertanyaan lanjutan dari pertanyaan-pertanyaan saya yang telah ada. Ketika orang yang diberi kesempatan mengenyam bangku pendidikan hingga ´setinggi langit´ pada akhirnya menjadi penyambung serta pendukung kebijakan-kebijakan yang mendzalimi rakyat, bangsa dan negara, maka menurut saya intelektualitas serta gelar intelektual tidak lebih dari cara terhormat yang ´sengaja diadakan´ untuk menggemburkan pelecehan terhadap hak-hak masyarakat.

Dimana pergerakan pro-kerakyatan para kaum intelektual?

Ketika tahun 1998, saya masih duduk di bangku sekolah dasar, ayah saya pulang ke rumah dalam keadaan sedikit terluka akibat menjadi salah satu korban dalam tragedi semanggi, sebuah peristiwa bersejarah yang digerakkan para mahasiswa untuk menggulingkan rezim kediktatoran Soeharto yang telah 32 tahun (pada saat itu) berkuasa di Indonesia dengan self-acclaimed gelar kehormatannya yang digadang-gadangkan pada rakyat Indonesia, sebagai ¨Bapak Pembangunan Indonesia.¨

Saya, yang pada waktu itu baru saja pulang main sepeda bersama teman seusia saya di lingkungan komplek rumah, terperangah menyaksikan ayah saya, ´warga biasa´ yang bekerja untuk instansi pemerintah, menceritakan sedikit perihal apa yang sedang terjadi di negeri ini. Mengingat usia saya pada saat itu, tidak mengherankan apabila tidak banyak yang dapat saya mengerti dari penjelasan Ayah menyoal pergerakan rakyat yang didukung seluruh rakyat ´biasa´ Indonesia, menuntut turunnya seorang tokoh yang telah memperjualbelikan harga diri bangsa demi kedigdayaan perekonomian pribadinya serta kroni-kroninya.

Kini, hari ini, di sela-sela perenungan saya tentang pendidikan yang saya tempuh dan hal yang dapat saya perbuat untuk bangsa ini, saya kembali memikirkan hari itu. Hari-hari dimana jalan-jalan utama di Jakarta penuh oleh rakyat yang bersatu, bergerak maju menuntut sang pemimpin untuk ´menyerahkan kembali´ apa yang seharusnya dimiliki rakyat Indonesia sejak tahun 1945: Kemerdekaan.

Harian The Straits Times pada tanggal 6 Februari 1998 mengabarkan,

¨…lebih dari delapan juta pekerja akan kehilangan mata pencahariannya tahun ini, 10% dari total 90 juta pekerja di Indonesia. Menambah jumlah pengangguran yang telah ada….¨

¨….pemerintah berjanji akan mengucurkan lebih banyak dana untuk membuka lapangan pekerjaan, melalui dana pinjaman dari Bank Dunia…¨

¨Visiting World Bank President, James Wolfensohn, who left Jakarta yesterday morning, told reporters on Tuesday night that the bank had diverted US$ 600 million from the US$ 10 billion in active funds allocated to Indonesian employment schemes.¨

Stasiun TV dan semua media mengabarkan mengenai gerakan terorganisir di kalangan rakyat yang dimotori kaum intelektual (mahasiswa dan tokoh akademis), untuk menjatuhkan Soeharto dari jabatan sebagai Presiden yang telah dipangkunya selama 32 tahun. Masa-masa itu adalah penjelmaan dari revolusi kelas pekerja, golongan masyarakat yang selalu menjadi korban dari setiap kebijakan dari kelas elit pemerintahan.

Situasi pada masa itu seakan merefleksikan kalimat yang diucapkan oleh Nikita Khrushchev, sekretaris partai komunis Soviet, yang pernah berkata, ¨I, once said, ¨We will bury you,¨ and I got into trouble with it. Of course we will not bury you with a shovel. Your own working class will bury you.¨

Rakyat yang akan menghentikan sebuah rezim kekuasaan, karena rakyat lah yang sepatutnya memiliki tempat tertinggi dalam tatanan kenegaraan, bukan penguasa atau kelompok pemilik modal. Hari dimana rakyat meminta kembali hak-haknya akan tiba.

Pada akhirnya, tanggal 21 Mei 1998, sang diktator itu pun menyerahkan kekuasaannya pada penggantinya, BJ Habibie, mengakhiri drama perjalanan hidupnya dari seorang anak petani hingga puluhan tahun mengontrol Indonesia, memperkaya golongannya, dan memiskinkan generasi masa depan melalui lilitan hutang dan keterikatan pada lembaga pendanaan asing.

Kini 13 tahun sejak peristiwa penggulingan rezim Soeharto itu berlalu, cerita baru telah terukir, pemimpin baru bergantian menerima amanat rakyat melalui proses pemilihan umum, diiringi dengan revolusi di bidang teknologi, rakyat Indonesia (termasuk saya) menikmati gaya hidup tanpa batas (borderless) sebagai salah satu efek dari globalisasi di segala sektor.

Kelas menengah menjadi tumpuan utama roda perekonomian bangsa Indonesia yang menurut prediksi banyak pakar ekonomi lokal maupun dunia akan menjadi salah satu titik pertumbuhan tertinggi dunia, berdiri kokoh di tengah krisis ekonomi yang sedang memporak-porandakan perekonomian dataran Eropa dan Amerika Serikat yang digadang-gadangkan media internasional sebagai akibat dari kerakusan pelaku kegiatan sektor ekonomi.

Dimanakah posisi kaum intelektual sekarang ini? Menjadi pelayan bagi korporasi yang menggantungkan hidup orang banyak pada satu hari di akhir bulan yang dinamakan ¨hari gajian?¨ Menghadirkan manipulasi data akan perkembangan ekonomi yang tetap tidak berpihak pada rakyat? Menghadirkan kesan bahwa meningkatnya kelas menengah di negeri ini diikuti pula oleh meningkatnya kualitas hidup masyarakat di pedesaan? Atau kaum intelektual menempatkan dirinya di tengah masyarakat, mengkritisi kebijakan pemerintah yang berbalik mengkhianati rakyat yang telah mempercayakan masa depan bangsa kepadanya?

Seperti dikutip oleh Noam Chomsky, Dwight Macdonald, penulis Amerika yang gemar melancarkan kritik sosial melalui pemikiran dan tulisan-tulisannya mengatakan, ¨Only those who are willing to resist authority themselves when it conflicts too intolerably with their personal moral code, only they have the right to condemn..¨

Chomsky raised the question about ¨The Responsibility of Intellectuals¨

Lewat tulisan, saya mempertanyakan.

Jakarta, 26 Oktober 2011.

The Art of Being Patient

2011-09-19T14:49:00.001-05:00

Today is the 34th days of my arrival back home after nine months or so lived my life in far far away land. I came back one exact day before my 23rd birthday, and I feel relieved when my mom´s face was the first thing I saw at the airport´s arrival gate on August 15th, 2011. I realized how much I´ve missed her right at that moment, and we cried a bit, and then the next day I had my birthday (with no party of course, since I ain´t no like that stuff), and met my closest friends in life, had so much fun in town, then days passed and my best best girl friend married two days ago, and now here I am.

Time has passed. No more ´being on the rocky road´ with every signs popped out and available to choose, freely. The risks was on my hand, to go or not to go, to take or not to take, ultimate freedom.

One thing I love from being a traveller is, I feel honoured to have the ability to choose with no other people involved in this part. I met people from different side of the universe with totally different ways to see how their life should go, but we´re all linked by one fact: We´re in the road, so be unite, let´s walk and observe the place, go together and laugh about life. We´re all trying to put aside reality and simply just travel.

But when it´s time to come back home, the other way around facing us (well in this case, me).

People talk about other people, politicians robbed their country, intolerance had become daily content in twitter, television play some craps, and totally annoying traffic as something that I call ´another version of hell that you could see here in Jakarta.´ I´m sorry for writing such very subjective things here.

The point is: It´s hard to settling back yourself in one totally different situation than you´ve ever had when you were staying abroad in the opposite life´s condition.

I feel weak than I´ve ever be. I never had this feeling before, even though I travelled abroad before, yes, but not like this one I had in South America. From the duration of time, the people I met and had relationship with, the stories that been made there, the culture, the way I got my informal education from a lot of people, and so on and so on. I think I have fallen in love with the last experience I had in my life. I have fallen in love not only with the people and the memories, but with the way I get myself grew in there as a human.

I know I had one fundamental reason for coming back home, and that´s why I ensured myself to came back. Now the more I look back to those days of mine in South America (Lima, Pisco, Arica, Iquique, Antofagasta, Uyuni, La Paz, Puno, Cuzco, Santiago, and the carribean´s Port au Prince, Les Cayes, Port Salud, Cap d´ Haitien), the more I feel like I wanna get the very first flight to go back in there.

This ´hurry up!´ emotional feeling is the very first thing that drove me crazy. All I could think lately were about how could I get myself out of this town, what should I do here in Jakarta meanwhile, whom I should go to in order to get my mind happier than now, and all those pictures I still keep close with me about cities and memories in South America.

I´m getting crazy!!!

Probably I could just simply buy the ticket and go back or go somewhere else. Yes.

But one of the closest people of mine told me several times through the messages he sent me on Facebook. He told me to find the meaning of life, to do anything I want with purpose, to find my happiness without being trapped in the past.

I have to know the meaning of doing something. Even the the most simple thing in life, because everything, I repeat, EVERYTHING in this life is wholefully meaningful.

So even if I fly back to the place where I was the next morning, will that makes me happy?

So even if I travel back in time (even it´s absolutely impossible), would that makes me happy?

First thing first, I think that´s the philosophy I have to keep myself with. I have to find the meaning of doing and choosing something. I have to know the purpose of my life and which route I have to choose next, and the most important of all, to be happy, I have to find my own happiness, with no people jump in and take the lead on it, cause I´m the only person who know how to make myself happy, not other people.

After I find the purpose, after I finish the fundamental reason thing I should do here in Jakarta, then I would be able to walk straight into the destination I wanted to go, wherever that is. It could be here in Jakarta, somewhere in Europe, certain part of Australia, or North America, or linking around Southeast Asia, I dont know!

I am 23 years old and I believe that age is only numbers, no meaning after. I dont wanna get trapped in tradition nor culture about what to do/what to achieve/what to show when you´re 24 or 25 or 26 and so on.

My life is not a broadway with the night show kickin´ in and people get their ticket to see. Furthermore, I dont think I have to show anything to anyone. What for?

The Art of Being Patient, I am in.

Feels Like Travel Back Time

2011-08-26T18:15:00.001-05:00

Old couch in living room, hot tea with lemonade, magazine bought in Schipol´s transit, iPod played Teddy Picker by Artic Monkeys.

Aahhh.... Home!

Les Cayes in Portraits

2011-08-26T10:43:00.001-05:00

Five pictures from short visit to Les Cayes, Haiti, December 2010.

I miss the moments.

The view from our front seat bus, on the way from Port au Prince to Les Cayes

The ´traffic´, Haiti style

The hidden beauty

In the middle of traditional market, on the way to Port Salud

The kids we met in Port Salud

Experience, travel, these are as education in themselves- Euripides.

I´m Connecting the Dots.

2011-08-25T11:16:00.001-05:00

I am home.

Which road to go now? Oh, this is home already.

Nothing could beat the feeling of hugging mom deeply after nine months being away from her. Tears and joys collide into one another. I am happy, yes, but apparently it is not as easy as I thought before. Seriously it is not.

Before I decided to come back to Indonesia, some considerations appeared in my mind. Staying abroad, in my case was Lima, was definetely one of my best experience in life, ever. It was not only about being free because I lived by myself and made my own decision with no one involved on it. Heck no, it was way beyond that -post high school´s euphoria- reason. These reasons was the explanations why it was not easy to convinced myself : ¨Yes, now it´s time to go back to Indonesia!¨

Nine months living and learning a lot while I was staying around South America, I had found the real me, the real part of me in which I was never aware that had been living inside of me.

I never admitted myself as a selfish and spoiled person. Back at that moments before I departed to Lima (November 2010), I identified myself as a super independent young woman. I had faith in me and my future, and I could say now actually that faith was such missing in a hole. The way I looked at others was very judgementals. I see diversities as something that I have to hide myself from, even though I supported multiculturalism. When I believe that something is right and the other is wrong, so I would tell to myself that I was right and people with the opposite´s perspectives were wrong.

I was very narrow minded, judged book by it´s cover, and… idiot.

Before I took the flight to Lima, I spent 8 days in Berlin to attend international conference organized by Institute of Cultural and Diplomacy (ICD). There, I met-talked-shared perspectives with young scholars from around the world, mostly from Europe. I talked with high confidence back at that moments about how proud I was as a young Indonesian who flew to several countries to get involved in various international conferences and presented my thoughts through the papers. I never realized that actually by having such opportunities, I have had bigger windows to contribute more for my country, more than just flew from one to another countries and enriched my personal curriculum vitae.

What´s more pathetic as a young academician when all you have done was not more than just travelled for your own sake?

Still at Berlin´s conference, when one graduate student from Latvia named Ivanna asked me one simple question, ¨So how much do you think you could help your people by coming to this conference,¨ I felt literally slapped right on my face.

Yes, what have I done for my country? This question had been popped up in my mind every single time I think back about Berlin.

Before I left this city, I walked alone passing through Reichstag, visited Kennedy Museum which located right across the very well known Hotel Adlon.

There, I looked at one big picture of JFK, hanged on white painted wall inside one big empty room. I stood there for about 10 minutes, aggressively talked to my self: ¨This is the guy who had brushed his name in world´s history by made his own choice to ruled his people, served his country. Now Germans acknowledged him as one of this country´s long best friend and honoured him through this museum, dedicated only for him, John F Kennedy, American. What would you for your country? What would you do for the world?¨

I left Berlin-German still with that question kept on my mind, until now.

In my first few weeks in Lima, I met this traveller in Starbucks Miraflores, the most touristic area in town. I sat there with my book about freedom of expression and ordered my first Americano coffee which in the end would be four in total.

10 minutes reading, somebody sat on a couch beside me. After rest for a while and putted book to his lap, this guy asked me very simple question, ¨Where do you come from?¨

I looked at him, welcomed him with simple answer, ¨Indonesia.¨

Then the conversations poured down easily. After those very basic Q&A about each other´s identities, we crossed to different things to discuss, from borderless world to his photography hobby in which he found his profound love for small and silent town, switched to Greek ancient history (he is very knowledgable on this issue I must confess), until we concluded that we had to talk and meet more during his short visit in Lima.

Well, we never made it again after that day, but one thing I always remember about him was one statement he told me during our talk, when I told him how much I felt homesick and missed my mom the most, he sipped his coffee and starred to my eyes, ¨Afie, if you never walk out from home, then you will never know. Explore, learn, and explore more. You are such a very young woman!¨

Before I continue my story, I would like to say thanks for my friend, Zkot Pen. Thank you so much for that conversations we had in Starbucks. You taught me a lot through your stories! This is his website where we could trace his journeys through the lens!

Yes, I agree that through people you met while you´re hitting the road, you could possible renew the way you look at this life. People comes from different surroundings, embraced various things in their life, and of course carry their own stories with them. I love to meet new people and listen to their stories. That´s the way I could look back on my own and measure the good and the bad parts. Not to compare mine with others, but just think whether I have drove it into the right paths or.. the wrong ones.

I had such fabulous opportunity to join social work in Port au Prince, Haiti, from December 2010 until January 2011. I never imagined myself, ME, came into this city where used to be named as ¨The poorest part of western hemisphere¨ by the media. There, I realized that I was such a bitch who always complain about my life, my achievements, material things, all of those things which actually will never affect me as a person.

Thousand tents built around the town with people dying to earn money after the 2010 massive earthquake destroyed all they´ve got from house to jobs. But back then, I saw that Haitians still believe in the future, even though what they could eat everyday are depend on other people help, the developmental aids, et cetera.

Haitians live their life to the fullest. They looked very sad, yes devastated by the fact that they lost almost all the things they have had in life. But they still believe that tomorrow will comes with the new stories to tell.

With kids at the orphanage in Port au Prince. They were all lovely!

They keep on saying, ¨Bonjour¨ to every people they meet in the morning, showing that they are okay. Their smile were priceless.

One bright sunday morning in Port au Prince, I decided to accept our fellow haitians invitation to go with them to the church. I was born and raised as a muslim, so I was really curious to see how Haitians praised their Lord.

What I saw in there was breathtakingly beautiful. They wore the most beautiful clothes they had, put their smile on their face, and listen to the priest´s words seriously. They still believe in the power of God, they admired their Creator and they feel blessed by what they´ve still got with them at that moment. They sang the songs together and made my sunday morning as one of the most unforgettable ones. I love the colour of diversities. I love Haiti.

There are too many things I have learned while I was away from home. I learned how to appreciate other people´s feelings. I learned how to accept the conception of several things I was never agree with before. I learned the meaning of relationship. I learned how to control my emotions. I learned that knowledge is nothing without fundamental understanding. I learned the price of living independently. I learned to look at other people´s life and believe that nothing would be the same among humans.

I learned how to appreciate myself.

If I could turn back time and the time machine let me choose whether to change what have happened into what I wanted it to be or stay at the same point I am now, I would choose the second one.

I think it is unfair if I tell that I want everything to be what I want it to be. That is totally bullshit. Mistakes, obstacles, tears, hard times, difficulties are all made not for nothing. We should be thankful because by facing those things, we would become a stronger person in the future and looking back at that memories with huge smiles on our face.

Just like Steve Jobs said, ¨You can´t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust, that the dots will somehow connect in your future.¨

I love who I am, I love what happened in my life, I love it.

But loving my life also means trying hard to fix the holes and be better.

Learn from people, mistakes, stories, everything I could find in this universe.

Because I believe, if I never walk out from home, I will never know.

Now once I got back home after 9 months learned from the road, I hope I know where to go and how to face it all.

Love, this time from Jakarta,

Ayunda Afifa

This Ramadhan´s Star: Mr. David Yerushalmi

2011-08-08T15:14:00.002-05:00

How many of us have ever heard about the US based lawyer named David Yerushalmi?

Mr. David Yerushalmi

Well, this question is not exaggeratedly means that knowing lawyer names nowadays is some kind of obligation and written by law, NO (the exception goes to businessmen and those heavy tax payers, presumably?)

I believe it would be easier for young folks or people in general to get caught on stumble upon Rosie Huntington-Whiteley´s Burberry pose than crossing 12 pages ´reporter at large´ article composed by The New Yorker´s journalist, George Packer, which exposed Preet Bharara (Stock and Exchange Commission-simply called SEC-prosecutor) latest achievement on Wall Street´s latest insider trading criminal from Galleon Group, Raj Rajaratnam.

Well, I like both actually, cheesy entertainment news and confusing-frustrating global affairs. In the name of life´s balance, mate!

I honestly admitting that I foremostly found out about Mr. Yerushalmi when I read Andrea Elliot´s article on New York Times (July 30th, 2011). The article titled ¨The Man Behind the Anti-Shariah Movement,¨ you can read the full article here.

The little known litigation and risk analysis lawyer, Mr. Yerushalmi, has surprised the world (in a rigid 21st century media´s form called New York Times) with his quite-but-fast driven Anti-Shariah movement by drafted the model legislation with the effect of casting Shariah as one of the greatest threats to American freedom since the cold war.

This has been one of his long efforts which has began on January 2006. Mr. Yerushalmi was very clear with his position on attacking Islam as a religion since the beginning, including when he gave statements as a general counsel for the far-right Centre for Security Policy as reported by Stephen Lendman on his blog´s post titled ¨Vilifying Muslims in America.¨

He commented, ¨Muslim civilization is at war with Judeo-Christian civilization.. The Muslim people, those commited to Islam as we know it today, are our enemies. The way to defeat them is to criminalize Islam.¨

Mr. Yerushalmi also pointed out several things regarding his proposal in fighting Islam, which are:

- 20 years imprisonment for knowingly supporting the furtherance of or adherence to Islam;

- Congressionally declaring war on Muslim nations;

- Declaring all non-US citizen muslims alien enemies under Chapter 3 title 50 of the US code, subjecting them to immediate deportation;

- Assuring no muslims get entry visas to America

As Ms. Andrea Elliot wrote, the most fundamental reason for Mr. Yerushalmi´s works are not profoundly lies on getting the legislation passed in states. The purpose was heuristic - to get people asking this question, ¨What is Shariah?¨

Amidst the massive suspicion broadly heard about how sexist-racist-and bigot Mr. Yerushalmi is, this 56 years old Jewish-US lawyer has raised public´s attention on multiculturalism in US.

Furthermore, I see the correlation between the insecurities hanging among this anti-Islam proponents (including R. James Woolsey - former director of CIA and Michele Bachmann-Republican 2012´s Presidential Candidate from Minnesota) with growing numbers of Islam followers in United States, whom mostly are immigrants.

The Anti-Islam in America

The Anti-Shariah movement is not (only) based on the purpose of eliminating the usage of Islamic Law in US courts (which for specific cases applied for marriage-divorce and other matters entangled by the religion´s law. It is the complex motions brought in as the effect from post-moslem extremist era in other continent, Europe.

After several years looking at how Moslem Immigrants in Europe freed under the law and pro immigrants policies, the Americans realized the needs for spesific legal pattern to abolish it´s massiveness within their territories. Thanks to Bin Laden and it´s terrorism series which worldwidely marked since WTC tragedy, this group of people who sees Islam-Koran-and Sunnah as the triangle of violence´s voices, started to fight back by constructing their legal system with ¨No Islam¨ as a main point.

By randomly quoting Koran pieces by pieces-in which focusly emphasizing Islam as a religion with basic demand on scrutinizing the relation between human desctructions through wars and terrors- the Anti-Shariah campaign will only creating hysteria among people in US or even more in the world.

Salam Al-Marayati, the President of the Muslim Public Affairs Council told Elliot in the same NYT´s article, that the movement is ¨......purely a political wedge to create fear and hysteria.¨

Which if I could add my opinion, I agree with.

I believe, understanding Islam (or other religion) will not only be around translating Koran and Sunnah from Arabic words and intrepret it simultaneously. It needs to be examined per surrah or verses without cutting the point and define it just like that. Even the muslim scholars itself, who are often called as Ulama, need to spend years by years together among them analyzing the Koran by doing ijtihad (the making of decision in Islamic law).

If Al Qaeda or militans from Pakistan and any other part of the world shows us how close Islam with weapons and terrors by regularly ´cutting´ Koran words by words and defensively announce it as their law of action (as we can see on their pre-bombing´s video), that are simply because they are illiterates. Or, in a modern secret service´s context, those Moslem extremist are just big fan of doing bang and burn (demolition and sabotage operations) in this 21st century´s multicultural environment.

With more than US$500.000 spent on his research, I suggest Mr. Yerushalmi to help his fellow Americans on fighting their economic fiasco. Fighting on Islam or any other religion in this universe will result on nothing but creating headlines.

I think now public have no time to spend on reading about hatred issues, since they prefer to read the steps taken by the government on tackling the economy woes, creating what people need for living, J-O-B-S.

Future generations will look back at this moment by saying, ¨They should have spent their intellectualism on the issue of how to reduce the rates for pursuing education, not how to debating races-religion and/or God.¨

Jimmy Carter once said, ¨We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.¨

I hope Mr. Yerushalmi, Michele Bachmann, and all those Anti-Islam (including all other religion haters) know who Jimmy Carter is/was. Hope so.

Peace from Lima,

Ayunda Afifa

The writer born and raised in Muslim family in Jakarta-Indonesia. She called herself as a liberal-moderate believer. She agrees that terrorist do exist but she strongly disagree with the single direct pattern used for labelling Muslim as a terrorist. She does not have any affiliations to muslim organization and/or others. She´s an ongoing learner on religion issue, so objectivity is clearly counted on her.

Contact: ayunda.afifa@gmail.com

El Trenta y Nueve Dias

2011-08-07T10:39:00.002-05:00

I believe it is official now. Ayunda Afifa is such a faineant blogger. 39 days since my last post on June 29th about my sister, I haven´t post-write-draft anything at all. I could picture the dissapointment in the Blog´s God face, since we all (blogger) know and fully agree on the importance of ´day-to-day´ blogging.

Hear..Hear... :´(

In the first place, I would like to apologize for not being your trustworthy blogger.

I have reason anyway (legally speaking, I defend myself now, ha!)

In case you haven´t know, I lost my laptop. My best friend since 2007, the thing where I undeniably commited my brain capacity into, where I saved my multimedia collections (my burger´s game, the one that released me from ´writing-thesis-self crisis´ was also part of it, remember!!), from which I learned how to type faster than when I was still using PC in my house (now you can tell I´m pretty fast on typing, ehm), and the gadget from where I befriended with many 21st century´s human invention (yeah, Zuckerberg, you named it), has faithfully gone with the wind.

I felt irritated, frustrated, and degraded by the fact that I wouldn´t be able to write regularly like I used to do with my ACER´s laptop. But worst of all was I felt threatened by my own insecurities. The first week after I lost it, I kinda felt empty. in other words, I lost myself. I lost the way I used to fulfilled my passion in writing and paraphrase my perspectives into words. Sounds too much? It is personal feelings, I guess. It is not only about ¨losing laptop-which-you could simply just buy another one and type on it¨, but it is more into the historical values I had with my old laptop.

Dear my Acer-super weird-laptop, I hope you feel happy now wherever you are. I miss you so much. I miss yelling at you when you couldn´t work effectively (the hundreds of errors that happened to you). I miss looking at you and thinking about the old days where I spent hours sitting-composing words-for my thesis. I miss the uncertain feelings whether to sell and replace you or not.

Rest in Peace, love. Even if you´re not dead yet, please, stay whoever you are. Stay error, the price that the stealer have to pay ;)

I am planning to write about several things this week, including the US debt woes (from my super amateur perspective, for sureeee) and my short visit to Chile. Later on, no more lazy blogger here!!!

Love from Lima,

Ayunda Afifa (Afie)

Untuk Adinda...

2011-06-29T11:36:00.002-05:00

Pagi ini rasanya berbeda. Aku terbangun dari mimpi yang menghantarkanku pada khayalan tentang adik.

Perempuan manis yang selalu berkata 'ya' pada Ibunda, yang acapkali menangis mendengarku 'berceramah'. Perempuan sholehah yang membuat batinku tenang karena aku tahu aku selalu dapat mempercayainya.

Perempuan muda nan tangguh yang selalu mampu menyisipkan perasaan hati terdalamnya.

Adinda, itu namanya.

Hari ini, 29 Juni 2011, hari ke-226 aku pergi meninggalkannya.

Demi mimpi, asa, dan cita, aku menyimpan kesedihan karena perasaan kehilangan akan dirinya,

Aku kehilangan kejujurannya, kesabarannya, kebahagiaan karena mampu menyaksikannya tumbuh menjadi perempuan cantik nan mempesona.

Ia adalah pendengar setia yang tak pernah memaksaku untuk balik mendengarkannya.

Adinda adalah hartaku yang paling berharga setelah Ibunda tercinta.

Di dalam mimpiku, aku melihatnya dari kejauhan, tanpa Ia mampu melihatku.

Aku menyaksikannya berjalan bersama teman-teman terbaiknya, tersenyum bahagia dan sesekali tertawa.

Itulah Adinda, adikku, yang hanya membagi keceriaannya tanpa memberi kesempatan pada manusia lain di sekitar untuk mengetahui kesulitan dan hal yang Ia rasa.

Ia terlalu istimewa.

Jenjang enam tahun perbedaan usia kami membuatku kadang merasa jumawa terhadapnya.

Aku merasa lebih tahu, merasa selalu benar, dan mengesampingkan perasaannya sebagai manusia biasa.

Jarak lah yang menyadarkanku bahwa Adinda adalah hartaku yang berharga.

Berapa banyak perempuan berusia 17 tahun yang memiliki ketegaran seperti dirinya?

Aku bangga padanya, aku merindukannya.

Andaikata dunia telah mampu memuaskanku akan ambisi dan cita-cita,

Andaikata di hari esok, hari ke-227 perpisahanku dengan Adinda, aku telah meraih apa yang menjadi bagian dari perjalanan 7 bulan penuh perjuangan ini,

Andaikata Doraemon berbaik hati meminjamkan pintu ajaibnya untuk satu hari ini kepadaku,

Aku akan datang menemuinya, tak perduli durasi atau limitasi waktu.

Aku hanya ingin memeluknya dan mengatakan padanya, "Uni rindu, Adinda."

Adinda Afifa Putri, adikku satu-satunya, karunia dari Tuhan untukku,

Suatu hari nanti, ketika dirimu menjalani kehidupanmu yang kamu pilih sendiri,

Uni harap Dinda akan menyadari, bahwa Dinda tidak sendiri.

Aku dan kamu adalah satu.

Aku dan kamu adalah harta yang paling dicintai Ibunda.

Aku dan kamu adalah mimpi yang tertunda.

Mari terus bermimpi, Adikku.

Seperti aku yang terus bermimpi akan hari itu,

Hari dimana aku dan kamu memeluk Ibunda di sofa rumah kita bersama.

Karena kita adalah satu...

ps: Di dalam salah satu email yang adikku kirim kepadaku di bulan Maret 2011 silam, Ia menulis,

"Ni, jangan tinggalin Dinda.."

Pada hari itu aku berjanji pada diri sendiri, bahwa semua pengorbanan ini akan kutebus dengan manis. Aku tidak akan membuang waktu dengan percuma.

29 Juni 2011, 11:14am.

Untuk Adinda, adikku tercinta,

Nini Afie di Lima

DSK : '09 & '11

2011-06-29T07:32:00.003-05:00

NEWSWEEK December 7, 2009:

"Today the storm has passed. The worst has been avoided." - Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the International Monetary Fund's managing director, speaking about the economic crisis at the Confederation of British Industry's annual conference in London.

THE GUARDIAN June 17, 2011:

"I have diplomatic immunity." - Dominique Strauss-Kahn told the police shortly after he was detained in New York on accusations he tried to rape a hotel maid.

"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it but you can use it. You can't keep it but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back." Quote by Harvey MacKay.

FAIR ENOUGH, huh?

The Buddhist Monk's Quote

2011-06-26T19:03:00.002-05:00

Sunday, 3:08pm.

Another gloomy days in Lima and it seriously has turned my mood up's and down lately. Aggh.

I have story to tell. Almost one month ago, I met for the very first time with Annie Driscoll, a girl from DC. We met in Ayacucho airport before we took the small bus to go to Alcamenca district for our social works together.

Annie came and in a very short time we became friend and talked about many things. Within 2 weeks, I recognized her as one of the most positive person on earth because of her attitudes, the way she looks on life, and she also helped me to think from different perspectives about many things. She simply left very nice impressions on me about her and I hope everything will always good with her and her family in DC.

When she came, she brought a book written by Jacqueline Novogratz-the founder of Acumen Fund, titled "The Blue Sweater". It took me only several days to finish the book and one word to say after I completed it was: AWESOME.

Novogratz's life is something that probably many young people would be willing to trade off with. Travelled to Africa, became a representative of international organization, been here-there-and everywhere, worked with locals and learned the language, and the most special thing was: She had the time of her life. She made the most of her journeys.

When I read the book, my mind flew into Kenyan mountains, imagined myself live there and embracing the totally different daily life in the wild continent. Oh you are so lucky, Novogratz!

Among her travels and stories, Novogratz also tells the readers about several prominent people she met in her life, including the Buddhist monk named Maha Ghosananda. She quoted him on page 129 of the book:

"If you move through the world only with your intellect, then you walk on only one leg. If you move through the world only with your compassion, then you walk on only one leg. But if you move through the world with both intellect and compassion, then you have wisdom."

I re-read this quote again and again when I was still in Alcamenca. One time, I was sitting on the third floor of our house in the village, around 6 am when the town was still asleep. All I can see at that moment was the sun came up to shine the world with hopes and blessfully accompany human and inhabitants. Nothing but was me, the book, and the sun. Peacefully beautiful moment.

I asked myself: What are you looking in life? Academic titles to make people believe that you are intellect? Fulfill the never ending ambitions and named it as compassions? How is it gonna be ended, then?

Thanks to Annie for the book, thanks to Jacqueline for the beautifully well written experiences, and thanks also to the Buddhist monk, Maha Ghosananda.

You-We-All of us always learn from anything-anyone-anywhere-anytime, nothing to regret. This time, I learned from these three people about different things.

Who says life is not beautiful when you have too many things to learn?

......even with too little time :)

The Configuration of Life.

2011-06-25T20:27:00.002-05:00

Pictures of my biking day, one fine Saturday back in March 2011.

Along Costa Verde, Lima.

Along the cliffs, San Isidro-Lima.

15 minutes break for "Raspadilla", sweet flavoured ice.

"Jalea Mixta" or fried seafood for 15 Soles in Chorrilos!

Here I am. Stumble upon my own search of the meaning "challenging myself of doing something far beyond what I might have expected in the past".

I recently writing a lot about future, paraphrase my definition of some mysterious paths after the 'now' time frame. Looking for, define, asking back, silently confused by too many options in the world. This is a permanent state. Nothing well-explicated.

Why I am asking too many times about the meaning of life if I have never start embracing the real life itself?

I feel so hard to let myself facing out something other than what's inside my comfort zone.

Narrow-minded.

This universe is funny. It makes us forget about the imagination of the end of the day. Too fun to be missed, this world offers too many things we can't say no to. Life is over-rated now.

Where to go now? Ambitions-dreams-challenges or... facing another reality?

L-O-N-G WAY TO GO.

Life is mysteriously funny and exciting at once. Enjoy! :)

Steve Jobs says...

2011-06-22T07:39:00.004-05:00

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinion drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what they truly want you become. Everything else is secondary." -Steve Jobs-

For My Grandmother : Please, stay as an Angel.

2011-06-21T14:43:00.001-05:00

My Grandfather with Mami, West Sumatra.

I had a dream last night. I met my grand mother, a very sweet woman to whom I often share my feeling with, the woman I call "Mami".

She was wearing her long dress with brown veil covered her grey hair. We sat at her old house, the house where I grew up at. She told me one simple statement in Indonesia language : "Mami kangen Fifa. Jangan pergi lagi ya..."

In english, it would be: "I (Mami) miss you, Fifa. Please stay, dont go anywhere anymore.."

And then we hugged and cried together.

Probably for some people, that was weird, or totally random dream that shouldn't be posted here. But for me, that dream makes me realize one thing: I may probably be physically far away from people that I love, but my heart still and will always be theirs. I miss my grandmother.

I still remember how Mami spent her evening with me at her house, after she and I prayed together with my grandfather, and then we had dinner and talked about my day at school. Mami will always have time to listen to every single story I told her. Even story about how upset I was when my friend at school made fun of me.

She always have had time for me. For stories I shared with her, for simple dinner together, even for have ice cream together and then watched news on TV.

Now, along with this fingers typing words in my laptop, I'm asking myself: "Do you have time for your grandmother, Afie? Have you had time for her? Listen to her life's stories, make her dinner, buy her ice cream... Have you done that, Afie?"

No.

I never try to ask about her life.

I never try to ask about what she feels.

I never try to ask if she wants ice cream or not (My Mami is a rock star grandma! She loves ice cream so much! One day, she took my ice cream from freezer and when I asked her, she put 'that' face and told me, 'Ohh, that was yours? I thought that was mine).

I never want to know, but I want her to ask me about my stories.

I want her attention, but I never put mine for her.

All I care was my personal life.

I am selfish, and arrogant.

Sadly but true.

Probably now, my Mami is sitting on her sajadah, praying to God, and then go to bed.

She's might be getting older, but she's always... always... the same Mami I have ever known in my life.

Caring, loving, put other people problems as hers...

She is an angel.

God, I may not your favourite person on earth,

I made terrible and stupid mistakes in life which you probably hate me for.

But if I could trade off my happiness with something else I could choose,

I would say: Please... please take a very good care of my grand mother.

Mami,

You inspired me.

Please, stay who you are.

I love you.

ps: I may not home (yet) now, and haven't hug Mami for the last 8 months, but as soon as I'm there, that would be one of the very first thing I wanna do. Wait for me home, Mami...

From The Kitchen

2011-06-15T01:09:00.002-05:00

Just pictures of foods I ate the last days. No money means: Foods from home :)

Espinaca Fettucini con Pollo y Pimienta Negra

It remind me of Haiti : Rice, egg, with fried banana and Lousiana's hot sauce

Between Me and Humalla's Thought

2011-06-14T22:46:00.001-05:00

For you in Indonesia or in any other part of the world outside Peru, this is Ollanta Humala, Peru's President-to-be who will take the seat as Alan Garcia's successor on July 28th 2011.

Now in this post I won't talk much about him (ideologically or politically), but I just wanna quoting one of his statement which I found in BBC's article.

"I dont believe in turning the problems of Latin America into ideological battles. We've been through that and it ended in bloody civil wars."

I am not quite sure which political ideology this man will go through with for the next 5 years term presidency. But one thing I truly agree is: Spending time debating each other about which ideology is the rightest one, is just wasting time and.. energy.

In Indonesia context, probably it is more into putting religiosity as a public debate. Why? What for? Which one is right and which one is wrong? How do we know which one is right and which one is wrong?

Again, quoting Humalla: Ideological battles will be ended in bloody civil wars.

I hope people in Indonesia will be smart enough to stop this massive fiasco. Build the country by enriching people, not killing them ideologically. People have their rights to choose: To believe or not to believe any religion at all.

Being a Moslem, Christian, Protestant, Catholic, Hinduism, Buddhist, Ahmadiyya, Scientific, Kaballah, whatever it is. Respect.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Speaking about ideology, speaking about freedom.

Freedom or... civil wars (in the end).

Ohh.. I love you Humalla (hahaha) :)

Currently Searching : The Meaning of Life

2011-06-13T20:52:00.003-05:00

I spent about an hour today walking around El Polo area just by myself, having lots of thought in my mind about my life, my experiences, my mistakes, my failures, and so on and so on until I stopped myself in one part: The question part.

I got myself all confused on what I want now. What I'm really heading into in correlation with what I am really wanna do in life. Lame and cliche? For me these things are daily meals for my mind.

Once, an old man told me: If you know what you want, then you know what you need. If you know what you need, then you know what to do. If you know what to do, then just do it.

Sounds simple, huh?

In reality, is not as simple as that sound. I know what I want (Do I?) Since I was in high school, I truly realize that I hate science and I love social subjects. I get myself caught by my Physics's teacher when I sneaked out the class and went to canteen, stayed there for 20 minutes (talking with food seller) and in the next 40 minutes I sat in my school's counselor room. I hate physics. My 'runaway' story back several years ago was one of my dirty little secret :)

Back to the topic. Yes, so I realized at that time (my high school time) that becoming a doctor is a big impossible thing for me (in Indonesia, most young people grow up with one typical dreams: becoming doctor). Luckily me, my parents both were supporting everything that I wanted to be. It was no matter at all for them that I got 5 for my math assignment. My Mom even told me: I won't force you to become number one, as long as you do your best and be honest to me.

(I wanna apologize first to my Mom because deep down inside her heart, of course she was sad when she found out my math, physics, chemistry, and biology's final score back when I was in high school. I'm sorry Mom, I did not 'force' myself to become better at that moment.)

So what I wanted to be was: a diplomat.

Shortly speaking, I went into International Law major in one of the most respected university in Indonesia, Universitas Gadjah Mada, Yogyakarta. I enjoyed the classes, I enjoyed the topics that I learned, I fully put my concentration into things that related to my biggest dream: Becoming a diplomat.

I joined Model United Nations community in my university, I participated in two simulations one organized by Harvard University in The Hague, Netherland, and one by Stockholm University & Stockholm School of Economics held in Stockholm, Sweden.

I wrote several articles about global affairs, got myself invited in some student discussions around my university, spent a lot of my times with my colleagues in Yogyakarta, talking about current issues and planning to organize special international affairs youth community in Indonesia, so back at that moment I felt like I finally found what I cherished the most.

Now I've been living in Lima, Peru, for the last 7 months (I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN 7 MONTHS!!)

I came for the internship and still working on stuff. I spent my 'life' on computer, articles, reports, email, until I keep asking myself: DO YOU HAPPY BY DOING THESE, AFIE????!!

Are these part of my paths to the dream I've made? The 'stay too far away from family and friends' part, the 'no money' part, the 'miss my home so much' part, the 'crying in the bathroom' part, do I think these are worthy enough?

Again, I have to ask the same question like the old man said: "If you know what you want, then you know what you need. If you know what you need, then you know what to do. If you know what to do, then just do it."

WHAT YOU WANT, AFIE?

... I want to be happy and make my Mom and my Sister happy too.

WHAT YOU NEED TO HAVE THAT?

... I need to work my ass harder than others to achieve what I've been dreaming since I was 15.

WHAT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD DO?

... Stop complaining, keep crying, but maintain the final results you want to get.

THEN DO THAT.

*Apparently, I find myself easier to understand things that I write than things that I think. Hahaha.

In the end, I conclude the meaning of life with one word: ABSTRACTION.

I dont know what is the meaning of life.

But I will keep searching for it.

I'll define it.

I'll define mine.

Support Blog Away Hunger Now!

2011-06-12T17:43:00.000-05:00

As a blogger (even though I am not 24/7 blogging), I am fully supporting Marc Matsumoto, the guy behind my favourite Asian Cuisine's recipes "No Recipes", with his initiative in cooperation with World Food Program (WFP), named "Blog Away Hunger".

Let us support the movement by clicking on this.

Even though I'm not Melinda Gates with her Bill&Melinda Foundation, but still, as long as I could help even if just a little bit thing, I will.

Spread the words, thanks :)