Daytime: Hey, You Never Know – Book Signing by Robert Newman
When: Wed, April 7, 2pm – 4pm
Where: T.J. Byrnes 77 Fulton Street New York, New York 10038
“Book and Bite” Event Free wine and cheese! 10% off food order with book purchase!

Evening: Hey, You Never Know – Book Signing by Robert Newman
When: Wed, April 7, 5:30pm – 7:30pm
Where: T.J. Byrnes 77 Fulton Street New York, New York 10038
Free drink with book purchase!

TJ Byrnes Website

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From Section 1, (The present, The Seven Oaks Home for Seniors)

When the Larry King program was over, it was time. She closed her eyes.

Larry, do you have a moment?

Ida? For you? Of course I always have time. What’s the matter?

I’m embarrassed to say it.

Come on. We’re old friends. What is it?

Larry, something happened that hasn’t happened in a long time. I couldn’t believe it, really.

I’m all ears, Ida.

I had a Whoopee moment.

No!

It happened. At dinner.

Ida, I can’t believe it. After all these years.

Yes. I couldn’t believe it, either.

Are you sure?

Absolutely. Absolutely positive. We both felt it. I could see it in his eyes.

Well, we’re never too old, are we? I can only congratulate you.

There’s a small problem, Larry. He’s married.

Oh, oh.

His wife has Alzheimer’s. I’m so embarrassed to say it.

Oh, Ida. That’s rough. I mean really rough. What are you going to do?

I don’t know. We’ll see. I’m not going to run away from it, I can tell you that. And he’s not the kind to run away, either.

Ida, you know what?

Larry, I’m so unhappy. And happy. At the same time. What?

I’m talking to a brave woman.

Thank you, Larry.

A woman, after all she’s been through, who is still ready to face life.

Oh, I hope so. I hope you’re right.

God bless you, Ida Nollman.

Thank you, Larry King. Thank you.

From Section 5, (The present, The Delano Hotel in Miami Beach)

Later, in their room, Ida sat on the bed; she was frightened. I’m supposed to undress. I can’t. I don’t know what to do. I need my pills. Please, Abe, you can’t imagine how much I need my pills.

Not looking at her, Abe wheeled slowly around the room, turning off lights. He was pleased by a familiar stirring in his genitals. He knew he had to go slowly. There was so much for them both to get used to—their unfamiliar bodies, him with his missing leg. How would Ida react to that? She hadn’t minded when they lay together at Seven Oaks—she in her nightgown, he fully dressed. Abe took off his clothes except for his underpants and climbed onto the big bed next to her. He heard her nervous gasps.

“We’re just going to look out the terrace door,” he soothed. “I’ll show you some stars. Then we’ll sleep.”

She felt like when she was a little girl. “Okay, Abe.” Her voice was squeaky.

Sitting on the end of their king-sized bed, with his arm around her waist, they looked at the palm trees waving against the night sky, interrupting then allowing glimpses of the crescent moon that was upside down as if, he told her, it was waiting for a load of stars, and possibly a planet or two. He pointed to Venus and her less bright partner, Jupiter. “Stars twinkle, planets do not,” he told her. “Don’t you want to put on your nightgown?”

“Don’t look.” She began to unbutton her dress.

He took a chance. “Ida, I’m proud of you.”

She knew what he meant. Abe won’t let me take my pills. She wanted to weep.

From Section 5, (Present, The Seven Oaks Home for Seniors)

At Seven Oaks, every-day aches and pains –arthritis, neuralgia, muscular cramps, headaches, GI spasms, and back twinges– were recognized as part of the price tag attached to the accomplishment of old age. But that didn’t mean that discomfort should be accepted. The drawers and cabinets of the residents were stuffed with every pill and potion—branded and generic–made by the pharmaceutical and alternative medicine industries.

During lunches and dinners, the big dining room was a drug mart. Ida and other residents pursued what they liked to call their pill connections, seeking to trade for favorite medications, especially new ones. The market shifted daily according to the fancies of the traders who expertly compared dosages and potential side effects. On a typical day, four bottles of coated aspirin were offered for one of acetaminophen with codeine, and six bottles of ibuprofen for one of Celebrex.

When the residents couldn’t find what they wanted, they went to Lillian Gross, a lively redhead with a loud laugh. A former nurse, Lillian had stores of pills, tablets, and capsules. Her business, which she presented as a service to her fellow residents, depended on the fact that almost everybody at Seven Oaks overdosed and their prescriptions ran out before their insurance kicked in for a refill. Willing to help friends in need, Lillian charged less than the local pharmacies and the Internet outlets. She knew her customers and never provided medicine that caused a serious problem.

Lillian’s stock was replenished by her son, Alfred, who purchased the goods in Canada. With his mother’s encouragement, he was pursuing multiple careers, including auto theft, accident insurance fraud, and dog stealing. The small amount of money he got for the purchase and resale of drugs was barely enough to compensate him for his time, but it was, after all, being done for his mother. And she had the satisfaction of knowing that she was still contributing to the family business.

From Section 4, (1926, on a train from New York to Miami)

The waiter appeared carrying two plates. The contents were hidden under metal covers. Lifting the lids simultaneously, he announced, “Oysters Rockefeller.”

Charlie kept a straight face. “Fine. Very good.”

“Umm,” Heather said happily. He watched her pry an oyster out of the shell with a little fork. He followed suit. She glanced at him. Charlie knew what that look was about: Weren’t oysters forbidden to him? In fact, for Charlie, forbidden was not an important issue. Familiarity was.

“Umm,” she said, swallowing.

“Umm,” he said. He held the oyster on his tongue.

She extracted a second oyster. “Umm.”

He did the same and now held two oysters in his mouth.

From Section 3, (1921, Detroit)

The basement was dark. Abe looked for the light switch but couldn’t find it. “Estelle…”

He felt his way down the stairs and could make out the basement walls by the dim light that filtered through grimy windows. He heard a rustle from the behind the door to the coal bin. Heart pounding, he slowly opened the door and sensed rather than saw a figure standing next to the coal pile. “Moie,” he said, “If that’s you, you should get of here. Now. We won’t stop you.”

The figure groaned loudly, rushed toward Abe, knocking him down, then ran up the cellar stairs and out to the driveway. Abe could hear the shouts of his gang. He got up and stepped toward the coal pile. “Estelle?”

“Abe?” Her voice was thin, a whisper.

“Oh, God!” Abe shouted. He fell on the pile, scrabbling at the pieces of coal. He found Estelle almost totally buried.

Abe pushed the coal off of her. He pulled her to her feet. She was trembling and murmured, “Abe, I’m sorry. Abe, I’m sorry.”

Abe led Estelle up the cellar stairs. The kids, who were scattered up and down the drive and recovering from the shock of Nutty Moie bursting among them, were dumbfounded all over again. “Hey, hey, it’s Estelle… Look at Estelle… Moie got Estelle… Estelle are you okay? Are you okay?”

She was black with coal dust from head to toe. But she amazed them with an odd sort of smile. Not a “Ha, ha” smile. But a “Look what I did” smile. She told them in a whispering voice, “We were playing a game. It was fun. For a while.”

None of the gang knew what to say. They stared at her, a black apparition.

Abe, in his matter-of-fact, big brother voice, said, “What until mom sees you.”

Estelle smiled her strange smile again.

Abe took her hand and led her home. As they reached their house she began to weep and could not stop until Abe ran the water in the bathtub.

From Section 2. (1926, Detroit, a high school prom)

Danny Schwartz and his Wolverines playing the Charleston and Ida flying across the floor, hands clapping her knees, hop, hop, hopping across the floor, Gilbert flailing his arms and matching her hop for hop. And the band never stopping. Danny Schwartz, shouting encouragement. The other dancers cheering in a circle around them. She could do this all night, never tire, never want to stop.

Another boy brought her a drink. What was in it? Who cared? “Hard stuff from my flask,” the boy told a pal.

Ida kept on dancing. The Lindy. The Grizzly Bear. The Cakewalk, high-stepping, promenading hand-in-hand like the old- time slaves imitating high society. First prize. A cake. Ida and Gilbert, laughing until they had to sit on the floor, took the cake!

From Section 1: (The present, The Seven Oaks Home for Seniors)

Abe Hirsch had been cited for speeding—in his wheelchair—through the long, cream-colored corridors of Seven Oaks. The head social worker, Mrs. Rhea Feldstein was defending him in a meeting to which Abe had been summoned.

“Mr. Hirsch is experiencing a great deal of tension because of his wife’s serious health problem,” she told the Director, Mr. Walter Flowers, and the Assistant Director, Mrs. Lois Smithers, both African-Americans.

Abe, in his wheelchair, his amputated leg sticking into the room like an accusation, was studying the three of them and didn’t like what he saw.  At best, he was wary with African Americans, and he did not care for women like Mrs. Feldstein. He had often dealt with smart, talkative females in his butcher shop and had labeled her as another too-good-to-be-true.

Mr. Flowers, who was impatient because he believed that this matter was beneath his dignity, wasn’t buying the sick wife excuse. “Mrs. Feldstein, who doesn’t have a health problem at Seven Oaks?”

Mrs. Smithers amplified this view. “Mrs. Hirsch’s problem is upsetting, but I’m afraid that it is not a license for recklessness and endangering other residents.”

Abe looked pensive, but said nothing.

Mr. Flowers tried for a confidential, man-to-man approach. “My friend, please understand. We are concerned that one of our less agile residents may not be able to dodge your wheelchair.”

Mrs. Smithers chipped in. “They can’t hear you approaching from behind, Mr. Hirsch. Someone is going to get hurt. And Seven Oaks could be sued.”

Abe now understood that he had nothing to fear from these people. They were not going to throw him out of the facility, and they could not ground him by taking away his wheelchair. “I know what I’m doing,” he told them. “You don’t have to worry.”

Thinking of adding Hey, You Never Know to your Book Club list of recommended reads? The following is part one of a series of discussion questions perfect for your next book club gathering!

1. How do you think Devorah’s issues affected the marriage of Yussel and Bertha?
2. How would you describe Ida?  Which of the following apply to her personality:  pretty, vain, spoiled, smart, socially ambitious, looking for love, insecure, generous, sympathetic, alert, interesting, imaginative, jealous, brave, self-starting, thoughtful.
3. Do you know anybody like her?
4. How would you describe Sarah?  Which of the following apply:  realistic, low self-esteem, accepting of her fate, content to play second-fiddle to Ida, lazy, jealous, smart, thoughtful, ambitious, lonely, supportive
5. Do you know anybody like her?
6. Do you relate more to Ida or Sarah?
7. Do you think Bertha or Yussel had a stronger influence on the development of Ida and Sarah?
8. What are your feelings about the value that women placed on being married in the earlier part of the century?
9. How do you think Sarah felt towards boys/men?
10. Describe your feelings towards unions in general, and Sammy’s involvement with the union?  What does it say about the state of the country at that time?
11. How do you feel about Sarah’s affair with Sammy?  Do you think it affected her attitude towards men later in life?
12. Do you think Ida was jealous of Sarah’s relationship with Sammy?
13. What did you think of Josh?
14. Did you feel he was unfair to Sarah in leading her on when he knew he had had TB?
15. Were you surprised about Sergeant Boylan’s approach to Ida?
16. How do you feel about his reaction after she rejected him?
17. How do you think Ida felt about Sergeant Boylan asking her out?