Hidden In France

Going fast and slowing down

2012-01-19T17:46:34-08:00

I'm a huge fan of Janet Hill. What would it take to get an original? The instant she posts one on Etsy it's GONE! That is the true meaning of selling a painting before it's dry. These days, I love her bouquets the most. I think for a while she was painting one a day. A. Day!

I was thinking how even with good things in my life, I don't adapt as readily as I should. I'm not that quick on my feet.

My 12 year old is turning 13. I was happy with the old number. Today in school they made the kids watch the infamous 'birth video'. They showed everything, mom. Everything!

Egad! Did I want my kid to see what I would not want to see myself? They gave me no time to decide.

Meanwhile my 19 year old notified me today that next year he is living off campus, that 'they' found an apartment and that it will be two boys and two girls living together. Double egad! I'm thinking what is so wrong about being on campus, in a dorm? what's so wrong with him remaining a little boy eternally?

I need to adjust... the problem is I need time to adjust to things. But life seems to demand that we adjust right. this. minute.

Sales of Hidden in Paris have doubled this month! What is this? I can't get over it but neither do I want to get cozy with it. I was comfortable with the slowly-but-surely growing sales. What if things went back to the old, previously perfectly good numbers. Would I be disappointed? How would I cope with that disappointment?

Here again, I suck at adjusting.

When things go too fast I get tension in my neck, headaches. My thoughts go into whirling spins. My speeches speeds up, I become impulsive, moody. I overeat. I have meltdowns.

I'm sensing all of the above coming my way.

interior un-decorating

2012-01-16T14:46:06-08:00

I love interiors that seemed assembled with bits of things gathered rather than ''Decorated'. Here are a few I have been meaning to post.

This soft interior via house to home

Pared down, simple, white, and then BANG! via 79 ideas

Can't find the credit for the interior blow: it looks like a painting (on second look maybe it is.) I love the texture and the daring combination of pink and sunny yellow:

A few ideas to steal, or how to decorate a while wall for the cost of pennies. I think this is Emily Chalmer's home via Elle.

c'est tout pour aujourd'hui.

irresolute about resolutions

2012-01-10T18:03:51-08:00

I don't take new years resolutions lightly. If I'm going to give up on something after just a week of trying and then spend the rest of the year hating myself for it, at least I should put a lot of thought into it, don't you think? ... Although last year I did come through for myself in a BIG way doing the very thing that scared me the most.

This year will be the year of setting the bar super low. I'm just going to add one small habit at a time and devote a month to each habit before adding a new habit. I didn't cook this technique up, I found it here. I tell you this because I also read somewhere that when you make a resolution very public you automatically feel more accountable for it. So now I have to do it, right?

My first habit is to get younger by one day each day... before you know it, in 365 days I will be a full year younger! genius.

But really. I like small steps towards big goals. That's how I got most of the meaningful things in my life done. Nothing happened in big vavoom moments. That's how I became a writer over the course of ten years: one paragraph at a time, trudging away, writing terrible prose, then rewriting and rewriting. And see how I casually labeled myself 'a Writer'? The first time I said the 'w' word, I passed out. The next time I said it I my face twisted into a terrible rictus and all my muscles tetanized, then I said it again the next day until one day it didn't sound (so) creepy and self-aggrandizing.

I'm a huge believer that you can manifest things by affirming them. Nothing magic there. It's a matter of reprogramming the brain. Changing my negative self talk (and it sounded so artificial and contrived at first) is how I went from being a pessimist to becoming an optimist, how I slowly progressed from lousy self worth to a pretty healthy idea of who I am and what I can accomplish.

**eek...patting myself on the back to uncomfortable levels** But I learned to do that too.

So many ideas about ourselves were born from repeating them from childhood (or hear our well meaning family repeat them. Mine were: Corine is inept in the kitchen. Corine is a chatter box. Corine is bad in Math. Corine really sucks) This can become the identity we cling on out of habit or because we can't imagine something different. So if it worked in one direction, why not do the same thing in reverse? Rebuild who we are meant to be, or what we want to become,one habit and one affirmation at a time.

First I had to cut through dense denial to identify teeny tiny bad habits I want to change. I could not find any, so I looked broader and came up with gluttony and sloth. Pretty crippling habits, especially when combined.

So rather than say that I will become super fit, this month, towards fitness, I'm adding the habit of eating an apple a day and drinking herbal tea. Oh I hear your laughs...but that's a giant step away from my mostly protein, caffeine and carbs diet.

Forget lofty pulizer prize dreams. Towards more focused writing I only need to take away one habit: the amount of time I spend online.

That's right girlies, I buried the lead. I'm taking time off twitter, FB and blogging. My need to write is really a craving for connectedness and self expression. Each time i tweet or chat on facebook, or comment or get lost in your beautiful images and words, the hot coal of creativity and self expression gets a little cooler, and the burn to write is not as strong.

I realized this over the winter break. My kids were complete zombies (okay, so was I) and wanted to do nothing other than be fed a daily dose of passive entertainment. My type A husband being out of town, none of us had the cracking whip we've come to rely on to get anything done. I wanted my kids to be creative and active, but they didn't have the urge and I was super lazy about being a good mother (aforementioned sloth). My kids absorbed other's creativity by watching films, Tv and playing video games, going on FB and youtube.. and were satiated. I could see it so clearly when it was happening to them!

So cutting my daily writing on social media will be like tantric writing. I'll hold in the self expression and creativity so that they can be , let say, funneled and then released in a bigger, more powerful and satisfying way... rather than... diluted...ewww... i don't know about this analogy.

I'm not sure what I will allow or not allow. Too much and I will not be able to stick to it. Too little and I will only be lying to myself. But working alone is... well, lonely. So I might be back sooner than I meant. We'll see.

Happy new year's resolutions to all of you! Would you tell me what they are?

A very Californian Christmas

2011-12-24T15:12:31-08:00

I'm putting my frowny Christmas face on hold for a minute. Thank you Isa, the hike in the gorgeous Santa Monica mountains, the California warmth, bright blue sky and funny gossips helped, as did Excedrin Migraine, the one and only.

(New slipcover on my ikea couch, ladies! White coat of paint on the coffe table, a kite found for $12 at cost plus and voila my new décor.)

This afternoon I guiltily unpacked my teeny-tiny tree from its box in the garage. I don't have ornaments so I made a few with whatever I had on hands and had tons of guilty fun doing it.

Yes my friends, this year again is another botched attempt at reconciling Christmas and Hanukkah in my head and feeling guilty in two religions.

I laugh at this... our dog manages to be in every picture but I don't see it until later. Maybe she was signaling to me that the broom was also going to be in the picture. Ah!

I made those with silk paper and styrofoam...call me Martha. And was careful to put the menora and the tree in separate rooms so that they don't have to look at each other.

My husband is not with us for Christmas. No sweat off his back as he does not wring his hands over religious holiday identity as I do... and has the nerve to be out of state working on a documentary of poverty in America, thus totaly robbing me of my right to feel sorry for myself at Christmas time. Grrr.

I wish you all a happy, merry, holy everything lovely.

Textile animals

2011-12-12T16:43:08-08:00

The perfect pet perhaps? No shedding, no dandruff, no farts bad enough to make you run out of the room screaming. Food bill: zero and you get to recycle those old pjs.

Those textile animals are for sale in the loveliest shop you ever saw in West Sussex Pretty Scruffy (some of them available on BigCartel) All of this via the beautiful Kickcan and Conkers.

On a personal note: how am I supposed to concentrate when this is going on in the background?

I bet those textile dogs don't dream as big and loud as mine :)

Meltdown alert

2011-12-06T16:33:30-08:00

First art, then angst if you have the patience.

I luuurve this... the artist is Jennifer Mercede and you can buy her work on Etsy

ha! I really enjoyed posting such a looong image :))

Fantastic!

So fun!!!

had such a weird week, people.... which led me today to take my first yoga class in a year. Badly needed. My spine is in rigor mortis over here. When i want to look to the right I have to bring the whole body with it, feet and all.

Here are a few things that took place in the last week, not in order of importance.

I bought everything to furnish an apartment in Portland where my family will be commuting for the next four months. I mapped out everything, noted all the weirdo Swedish names and bought everything down to the potato peeler, trash cans, beds and bedding at Ikea. It was all purchased on Saturday and it was delivered in another state the next day. Merci Ikea Portland, you rock! The budget was under $2500. When the production is over we will donate it all to a woman shelter. It feels so much better than renting furniture, and we won't be basking on Formaldehyde.

I hosted a dinner party that same saturday but first had the meltdown of the century. My eyes were puffier than my gougères.

I had a huge fight (a mezza voce one which in a way was hilarious looking back on it) with a librarian when I returned my library books. This was a week ago and the books are now MISSING! Do you think it is possible retaliation? Could people do these kinds of things? In fact they do. That asshole better not mess with me. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH ME... or else i cry really really loud. (i'm known to do that)

And on Sunday my husband left for Portland so now it's just me and my boy at home. I do not like :((((

Voila my friends. Once again I have demonstrated a total lack of sang froid in the face of change and medium-to-low adversity. The plan is to handle it better next time.

winner of the giveaway

2011-12-01T17:29:48-08:00

The winner of the giveaway of Isabelle Bryer's art I hosted here is... drumroll...

Jenny LLoyd !!!!*

Congratulations Jenny... who happens to be an artist herself. Here is her website, and here is a little window into her beautiful art:

Hmm... I wonder why she would like Isabelle Bryer's art?! ....and want to win something like this:

Make sure to subscribe to Isabelle Bryer's blog and sign up to receive her emails because she will have more giveaways in the future and has a promotion going right now on Etsy.

**i'm mighty proud of my color effects. I'm totally an artist too! (not)