High Maintenance Aspirations...

Hodgepodging for Love...

2012-02-08T11:47:00.000-06:00

1. What is something you are loving right now?

Spray Paint... I am currently making these for a baby shower Sparky and I are doing the decor for...

I found them first on pinterest but they are the handy work of one of my favorite DIY and Decor bloggers Katy over at Centsational Girl... She doesn't need my props though since she has about six gazillion followers... Here is the link to the tutorial on how to make these...

I will blog my before and afters soon...

2. Paris, Venice, New York, and Rome are considered four of the most romantic cities in the world. Which one would you most like to visit?

Paris... Hands down... I have been so close to going twice now... Someday!

3. Are you a romantic?

Not really... I appreciate it in movies and such but it makes me nervous in real life... I consider Paul bringing home Chinese takeout because he knows I had a bad day romantic, but the traditional stuff... candles, rose petals, etc freak me out...

4. What's your favorite love story made for the Big Screen?

While You Were Sleeping
Hands down my favorite... She was lonely and developed a fantasy of what love would look like in her life, only to discover it looked very different and was far more beautiful... If you have been under a rock for the last 17 or so years go to the Wal Mart right now and root around in the $5 bargain bin until you find this movie and watch it today!!

5. Everyone loves Pooh bear and friends...which character are you most like and why?

I didn't take the quiz, but I would guess Kanga...

6. What's the best chocolate something you've ever eaten?

Oh there are so many really good chocolate things... The flour-less chocolate torte my cousin the pastry chef whose bakery closed and moved to the big city makes would have to win though... A runner up would be the white chocolate bread pudding at Shepard's Pie here in Rockport... Yummo!!

7. Share a favorite quote about love.

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

Dr. Seuss

8. Insert your own random thought here.

I have youth group tonight and I should be writing my devotion and working on my newsletter right now. I am using you wonderful ladies to procrastinate... Well, I'm off...

Double Dog Likes...

2012-02-06T11:54:00.000-06:00

I am trying not to use the word "love" indiscriminately anymore... I saw a youtube video posted by a wise but exceedingly funny young man recently about how we overuse this word... His example was saying you "love" a grilled cheese sandwich then later say you love Jesus... His point was he is sure Jesus appreciates being on the same list as your lunch... Made me think... Here, is a link if you want to see it for yourself... So instead of saying that these are my current "loves", I am referring to them as my "double dog likes"... For those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, you will remember I used to do a weekly post called "Five Favorites Friday" and this post is like that... I am even thinking of reviving that fun weekly post...

Here we go in no particular order...

1. Brach's Candy Hearts...

Is there a happier candy on the planet? I really only like the orange ones (although I will eat the purple and pink too) but I so enjoy them and their eternal optimism this time of year... Their soft colors, their upbeat if not somewhat odd messages of the hope of, well, love... A big jar of them on display seems to be the perfect antidote to the mid-winter blahs...

2. This Song...

This song touches at the very core of what I feel for the youth group...

If you have a few few minutes please listen to it.

3. These Bowls...

From here ... I currently have some cute red and dark yellow bowls that I found at HomeGoods but they are way to big for daily bowls... They are for all intents and purposes, small mixing bowls... I frequently use them as small serving bowls... How insane then that they are the bowls we grab when we want a bowl of cereal, soup, ice cream or even chips? We need more reasonable sized bowls and I wanted some that seemed "happy" to me... These are a little more then I wanted to spend, but they come in so many fun color sets I was sold right away. I think a set or two of these will be my Valentine's gift from my husband... Now to let him know...

4. This Post...

This one... Right HERE

From Musings by Mommy...

By this blogger...

When we lived in Tennessee I was a leader in a homeschool teen group. In our first year one mom brought her son to several of our get-togethers... I admit I didn't get to know her very well, she seemed sweet but a little quiet and even though we chatted some, I was there for the teens and had little time to visit with the other moms. They moved away after that first year and even though I saw her posts from time to time on facebook, we lost touch... As acquaintances tend to... Until I started blogging... It turns out she is a blogger too... And I kick myself regularly for not getting to know her better when I had the chance, but thanks to this crazy bloggy world, she is someone I have gotten to know!

Anyhow, she wrote this blog Saturday that seriously stepped on my toes... I couldn't get it out of my mind all weekend... Her words about the hurtful nature of sarcasm haunted and convicted me. If you get a chance to pop over and read it, do... My comment to her post was painful to write...

Here is what I said...

"I have been thinking about this post all weekend... I think you are right... It hurts me to admit it but sarcasm is mean. I admit, at first I didn't totally agree with you, but I think there is a big difference between a "witty retort" that makes everyone laugh and sarcasm which by it's very nature makes everyone but the person it's aimed at laugh. Even if they do laugh, it had to sting a little. Who hasn't felt the burn of sarcasm? I will definitely be on the lookout for it in my mind or conversations... I think it is a seed of hurt that I no longer want to sow."

5. This Man

This is one like I love... He is an amazing guy who spent all of last week helping me in any way he could to make my life easier while I was pretty incapacitated by those headaches... He never complained that dinners were quickie, thrown together and not at all planned out... Usually stuff from the freezer department that was just dumped on a cookie sheet and baked up... Pizza rolls, tater tots, chicken patties, etc... Not at all "real" food, but not one single negative word... He did a lot of the basic housework and helped out with laundry and stuff so I wouldn't fall too far behind. He handled all the planning for Bible study and youth group too... He picked up my slack in such a self-less way and without fanfare... He just did it and didn't seek credit for all he was doing. I know when most people use the word "hero" they mean somebody that went rushing into a burning building to save a small child, but from his military service, to his serving in the church, to all the self-less acts and sacrificing her does for us, to me this man is my hero and I am blessed beyond measure to be married to him.

Thanks for listening,

This Week...

2012-02-04T01:32:00.001-06:00

This week felt like a total waste... I woke up everyday this week with a migraine... Some days the medication would get them under control by 10 AM other days (like yesterday) I was incapacitated until 1 or 2 PM... I fell behind in everything in my life... I struggled to just do the bare minimum all week... Even when the headaches broke I still felt like I was living in a fog... I am ashamed to admit the only times I cracked the cover of my Bible this week was at church Sunday, at the Bible study (we host) Monday and at youth group on Wednesday... Aghhh... I feel so... so... Like it's time to count my blessings...

1. I awoke from my headache fog today to find my husband spending his day off doing monster amounts of housework... He cleaned the whole kitchen and did all the dishes... (It was a huge mountain of dishes!) He did everything but vacuum "because he didn't want to disturb me"... I am blessed...

2. I did feel good enough to venture out to the store... This week our local store is having one of those amazing sale weeks and with less then an hours prep I was able to purchase $536.82 in groceries for $177.71... Yes, that's a total coupon and store savings of 389.11!!

3. Sparky went with me to the store, and helped tons... I couldn't have done it without her.

4. Wednesday when the worship team from youth group showed up at our house and realised I didn't feel good they immediately asked if they could pray for me. Then they asked what they could do to help me prep for youth. I am also thankful that even tough we live in the middle of nowhere there is a pizza place that delivers!

5. Even though my head hurt too much to read my Bible I did have hours and hours in bed or on the sofa when lying there was all I could do... During those times when I wasn't sleeping, I did get to pray, and listen... "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10a) was all I could do...

6. I have been able to function at least half of each day... A lot of people with these kinds of headaches can't say that.

7. I have the most amazing bloggy friends in the universe! I can't believe how sweet you guys are to bear with me!

Thanks for listening,

PS... In case you've been under a rock you know this coming weekend is Super Bowl Weekend... I live in New England so people here seem particularly hyped... I live with a man originally from New Jersey (where, if you didn't know, the Giants actually play.) I thought we'd have a quiet cozy weekend... I WAS WRONG! When you are youth leaders and your home team is in the game, you shall have a party... I think it's a commandment or something... Pray for me!!!

Sparky...

2012-02-02T23:41:00.001-06:00

I realize my last post might have been TMI... I'm impressed you came back by after that one!

I've had a couple people ask about the girlies and specifically Sparky... There are lots of exciting things happening in her life these days... She just technically started her senior year since she will graduate next January. She tried to work it out to graduate this spring but she will still need two courses next fall that they don't offer here in the spring.

She has felt a call on her heart for ministry for sometime but it wasn't until this fall that she was able to better define what that call was. She feels lead to start an after-school program for kids here. (Like the "Good News Clubs") So she is busy both working on her ministry plan and finishing up high school. She will be taking online courses from a Bible College starting next January... She is definitely anxious for this next chapter to fully begin... (I am in less of a rush...)

She also had the chance to host a Japanese exchange student for a week this past fall. It was a wonderful experience to open our home then our hearts to Kamiko. She is a sweet, quiet girl who was clearly overwhelmed by our busy lives!

She joined us on a Wednesday, which is our youth group night. The kids on our youth worship team come here after school Wednesdays to pratice, fellowship and eat dinner here, so her welcome to our home included Paul, Myself, Cate, Jackson, Sparky;s boyfriend (who leads worship for youth) my parents a home health aid and three other youth members... Wednesdays are quick dinner then rush off to youth (so we can get there early) so she kinda had to roll with the punches...

By the end of the week she said we were nothing like she thought an American family would be like, and we assured her she was correct... We are anything but a typical American family! We all got a chance to bond though and it was hard to let her go home after one short week!

So, as I mentioned above, this guy is still around... It seems like he might be around for awhile.

(Why does this picture look funny... We were at our "camp" on Islesboro and they both had packed plaid flannel shirts and for some reason we made them swap... I'm sure it was funny at the time...)

He and Sparky have made the decision to "court" (as I mentioned in my last post) so they are now dating with the intention of marriage... People ask me how I feel about my daughters making these decisions so young... Truthfully, it's not what I pictured for their lives, but they are both girls who deeply love the Lord and are actively seeking his will for their lives. We should be totally freaking out by the world's standards, but we aren't... We are in prayer with them and together and so far it seems like this is the direction the Lord wants for them...

Here she is helping him get ready for the "8 Days of Hope" mission trip he went on last fall... (Please ignore the forever messy kitchen... Thanks!) He was headed down to Alabama and I guess he decided a buzz cut was needed...

And here is is the day he returned... She did not want me taking photos at this moment, but he was only gone 11 days and it was clearly the longest 11 days of her life... She wouldn't let go long enough for me to take a picture of him in his official "8 Days of Hope" sweatshirt... I think it's time for me to come up with a name for this fellow... I'll have to think on it for awhile...

Sparky also took a "creative sewing" class this fall and took to sewing like a duck to water... She made
two purses, a pair of shorts, a skirt, two queen size quilts, matching Christmas stocking for Cate and Jackson and tons of these little monsters and owls for Christmas gifts...

This particular fellow was for her fellow...

I'll leave you with this picture... Also known as the "worst group photo of all time"! We has an "Ugly Sweater" Christmas party for the youth... I was assembling the kiddos for the group picture our pastor asked for to put on the over-head Sunday morning... About six of the teens were in the bathroom and I was trying to pose the ones still in the room when my camera gave me that flashing light of death which means I literally have seconds before it totally dies... I quick took the picture so not to let our pastor down... This picture did not end up on the big screen Sunday morning...

I still wonder why...

Thanks for listening,

Bathroom Blessings, Headaches & A Dress...

2012-01-31T21:21:00.001-06:00

Quite the title... Huh? I know you guys are wondering and cringing about the "Bathroom Blessings" part... Let me share... You see, I've rarely gone to the bathroom alone in almost 20 years. At least once a day one of the girls either follow me into the bathroom or I hear a little knock on the door while I'm in there. When they were little it was because they actually needed the potty or because they just wanted to be with me... I admit it used to annoy me, but as they have grown up these stolen moments of alone time in our busy lives have become something I've grown to treasure. And I do treasure these moments far above the lack of privacy. It was in the bathroom I first got a hint that Cate might be having issues at school and it was in that same room I first grew to suspect that her and Jackson were becoming serious. I was flipping through a magazine in the lav when I first found out that Sparky boyfriend was talking to Paul about moving to courting from dating. (Dating= getting to know each other... Courting= dating towards the goal of eventual marriage.) Perhaps it has to do with the intimate nature of the room, but I have to admit I do not look forward to the day I find myself all alone in the loo...

As for the headaches part... I get migraine headaches. I don't get them all the time but when I do get them I seem to get them for several days in a row and they are incapacitating. I have had one four out of the last six mornings. Most days if I take the medicine soon enough, by noon or 1:00 I am able to function... That is half the day lost! I am currently falling behind in all of my housework and just about everything else... I do hope this cluster of headaches is almost over!!

Now the big new... Cate has a dress!! Oh, excuse me... A Gown... Can I get a woot-woot?? I didn't ask her yet if I can reveal it on here, but I imagine the big reveal will be soon! We have a wedding party, location, photographer, menu planned, decor chosen and the dress... I really think we are getting there!

Thanks for listening,

Super Cool...

2012-01-26T11:46:00.000-06:00

Thanks for listening,

Any Youth Event I Survive...

2012-01-20T23:21:00.000-06:00

Is a good event...

Youth events (fun nights, game nights, movie nights, lock in, etc) are a very small part of what we do as youth leaders but they do seem to be the "epic" moments the kids are talking about for weeks to come. The format we inherited with the youth group was the weekly Wednesday two hour youth group and one monthly event. I don't think I can handle more then one a month, but some months we do push it to two. We have discovered that we grow by one person for each one we hold. From the seven-ten kids we inherited we are up to about twenty kids, with an average attendance of fourteen at our weekly youth groups.
Frankly this stymies me... Paul and I are chronically uncool... I am not saying this for you to reassure me differently... It is a fact. He tends towards cranky and I am dorky... I have little idea who half the singers are they talk about and most of them are Christian bands! We do genuinely enjoy their company and make it clear that all of them are welcome in our home pretty much anytime. We also truly love each of them and spend time praying for each of them. They are all unique and it is neat seeing their gifts develop... We are truly honored to be able to come beside them during these transitional years...
That being said this post is about youth events... Also known as "What doesn't kill you, will most certainly leave a big mess for you to clean up!" Lets discuss the one that almost did kill me first... The (infamous) Lock-In... If you are a parent of teens who have been to a lock-in or if you went to one as I teen, close you computer right now and write them a little thank you note... Seriously, Why are you still here... Go on, I'll wait... Oh your done, great... Now why did I make you do that? Because I can tell you from experience that planning and living through a lock-in is a herculean task.... We did ours back in October, during our second month with the youth and while we were still in our trial period... Are we nuts, I think so... But all summer while the teens were pestering us to take this role their desire for a lock-in came up again and again, so we just did it...
Here is a peek at the schedule I did up for our 12 hours of non-stop frivolity...

7:00-7:15 Arrival

7:15-7:45 Welcome Prayer, Welcome, go over rules, opening “guess my line” skit,

7:45-8:15 Food: Pizza, soda, chips, veggies

8:30-9:00 Ice Breaker Games: Aardvark Relay, Order in Chaos, sticky buns, Brain Freeze
9:00-9:30 Food Ice Cream Sundaes
9:30-10:00 Worship/Prayer

10:00-10:20 Group Devotion

10:20-10:45 Male/Female Devotions/Prayer

10:45-11:00 Free Time/food/game “I Never”, Fly swatter soccer

11:00-1:00 Movie (To Save a Life), Discussion & Popcorn
1:00-2:00 Games: Post It's Obstacle Course, Whatever It Takes, Train Wreck, Covered,
2:00-3:00 Skits (skits printed up)

3:00-4:00 Worship / Prayer

4:00-4:30 Youth Mad Libs (Mad lib sheets)

4:30-6:00 Board/Card Games Apples to Apples/ Cards/ (catch phrase) cards

6:00-7:00 (Wake up) Breakfast Cereal, milk, oj, fruit

7:00 GO HOME ALREADY!

Are you exhausted just reading it? Well take a look at some shots from our night...

First up... Sticky Buns...

Then the Aardvark relay..

Then "Brain Freeze" The premise of it is teams race to build Ice Cream sundaes in their team member's mouth... Good, not so clean (hence the tarp) fun...

(Yes, that's a banana stuck to his head!)

Prayer and worship...

And some random early morning shots...

Nothing like melted ice-cream sundaes at 4 AM...

I took a lot of pictures early in the night but as it went on I took fewer and fewer... We did have quiet rooms set up for each gender and of the nineteen youths we had only six who stayed up all night... But Paul and I did the full twelve hours... From there we dragged ourselves home (I don't remember the ride...) and I woke up around 2 PM. Being Maine, things are pretty spread out, and about seven of the kiddos had thirty or more minutes to drive home, so we arranged to have someone with a mini van pick them up at the church and transport them to our house (about 8 minutes from the church) so we were wall to wall sleeping bags and blankets in the living room... It didn't stop me from crawling into my bed and not waking up until after the van came back at noon to transport them back to their cars in the church parking lot.

Tonight was just a "Fun Night" at our house... Games, snacks and general frivolity... In the grand scheme of things it was no lock-in, but twelve teens in my living room always feels like a big event. So that's what I've been up to...

Thanks for listening,

Family Photo Shoot...

2012-01-19T08:30:00.000-06:00

First of all... My blog seems to be having some technical difficulties... I will try to get to the bottom of them but if you are having trouble leaving a comment I am sorry... It started yesterday as far as I could tell, and I thought it had to do with the "Boycott the Web" thing... Now I'm not sure, but I will look into it.

So... We had planned for Cate and Jackson to get their engagement photos taken last fall before their engagement party, but it was one of the many things that did not happen. Every few weeks or so the photographer friend of ours and I would chat on facebook and try to make a plan, but to no avail. Finally I got this hair brained scheme... Since we needed a family photo taken for our Christmas card and they still needed engagement photos taken, let's combine them into one shoot... This decision was made in mid October, while there were still leaves on the trees. It was also decided that we'd need to do it on a Saturday since that is the only day conceivably we'd all be free during daylight hours. Unfortunately we didn't have a free Saturday until the first weekend in December... Actually I forced everyone to be free so I could order the Christmas cards before... Well Christmas! The only problem with an outdoor photo shoot in December in Maine... Yep, you guessed it... It was COLD! Our poor photographer River (of River Radley Photography) is like a size 0 and was truly the coldest one out there, but as you view the following pictures keep in mind, for each shot we had to remove our winter coats and pile them behind River then pose for a few shots trying to pretend it wasn't 22 degrees out then run back to our no longer warm coats for a few minutes as we moved to a new spot... (Ironically we were not the only family out at this particular spot getting our photos done on this particular day... And the other family had small children.) As if the cold wasn't enough, it was also windy down by the water... How windy you ask... Take a look...

Yes, Hair was a constant problem...

Ok, here's what we came up with...

These ones on the beach were so cold and windy it was hard to take the ridiculous nature of what we were doing seriously...

So we goofed off...

A lot...

I wanted one of the girls and I...

Sisters... And the one we actually used on our card...

Sparky!

And finally...

The engagement shots...

I love this one... It is framed in our living-room!

Oh, and a rare shot of Paul smiling...

PS. I think it is time for a custom blog design... I welcome your recommendations for designers... If you are able to leave a comment that is...

Thanks for listening,

Hey There...

2012-01-18T14:15:00.000-06:00

I know I promised to be better about posting... I am trying... I really am. It turns out running a youth ministry is a much more time consuming job then I had anticipated. The last youth leader left over eight-teen months ago and his assistant has been keeping things going since then. He was a "fly by the seat of your pants" kinda guy and didn't leave much structure to operate in. For the last year and half it's been kinda on a holding pattern slowly shrinking in the process... Since we started in September and took over in November we have been trying to get things back on track some. We are loving every minute of it, but it has been a lot of work. I will share more with you soon, but for today, since it is in fact "youth group" day I will leave you with the devotion I wrote for last weeks Sr. High & College class. (We currently have 7th grade through college... wow... I know... We break it down for lessons and devotions to 7th-9th grade and 10th grade and up.)

Here goes...

Authority:

This month we want to take a look at what the Bible has to say about authority, or more specifically submitting to authority. This is one of those topics that nobody likes to focus on, adults or teens, but why is that? I have a theory… because we like to hold to the belief that we are in control of our lives. I am even willing to take it one step further and say we like to believe we are the final authority in our lives. We know what’s best for ourselves, right? Besides, why should we submit ourselves to the authority of others? You have reached the age where you clearly start to see the flaws in those around you. You have realized that your parents are flawed people, the leaders in your church are just humans who struggle the same as you do, the administrators in your school are clearly biased, and you see corruption everywhere in the government… Why then would you submit to them?
Let’s see what the Bible has to say? ”Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended”. Romans 13:1-3 Wow… that seems very clear. If God established all the authorities in your life, and rebelling against them is to rebel against God… That is a lot to think about. The question you need to ask yourself is “Do I believe that God has a plan for me?” Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This verse isn't just truth… It is what is referred to as a “promise.” It is one of those verses where God, who cannot lie, makes a commitment to us. That he has a plan for us and if we submit ourselves to his plan, (his authority) he will prosper us, not bring us harm, but to give us hope and a future. We want to prosper; we want hope and a future, right? And we are promised that by God through his plan.
I heard an analogy recently of God’s plan for us, for all of us being like a huge mural that he had completed since before the beginning of time. I take great comfort in this. For me personally, I like knowing I am not just stumbling through this life untethered. I like knowing that if I stay in God’s will, his plan that tomorrow is taken care of. But what does this have to do with authority you ask? Well if God knew you from before you were born, if his plan for your life was “painted” before time began, then doesn't it stand to reason that he knew who would be in authority in your life? I would go so far as to say he hand picked the right parents, pastor, youth leaders (gulp), teachers, husbands (for us girls) and even government for you to be in authority under, for his plan for you to be fulfilled. Are these people always right? No… Are they always fair? No… But the bigger question is, are they handpicked by God to be in a position of authority in your life and knowing that, why do we choose to question their authority in our lives? Is not questioning their authority the same as questioning God?

*That last question sparked a pretty heated debate... It was a pretty fruitful conversation but at times a bit to heated. Let me clarify my thoughts for you...We have been taught to question authority (particularly since the 1960s) regularly... I am not in any way suggesting that we give up our constitutional right to protest wrongs... I am merely suggesting the God knows what he is doing... If those in a position of authority are directly outside of God's will it's our Christian duty to not follow them... I was just putting that line there to get people talking... It worked!!

Thanks for listening,

Did Ya Miss Me?

2012-01-11T13:03:00.000-06:00

Guess whose back...

One day last fall after the engagement party I sat down to edit the pictures from said party and got so overwhelmed I thought, "I'll do this tomorrow"... That was in October... Whoops... I never did get those pictures edited, and since I felt obligated to do that post next I just stopped posting... How crazy is that? In all fairness my life hit fast forward at that same time and I have spent the last two and a half months running to just get the next thing on my list done. Few things have been done early and lots of things were done late or without the usual attention to detail I like to have... It was a busy season! So much has happened since last we talked I don't know where to start... I guess where we left off?

The engagement party (of which you may never see pictures) was... well, ok... I really hope it doesn't set the tone for the wedding. I think my expectations were pretty high, perhaps too high, but realistically, it wasn't my best party ever. I'm sure on the surface it was fine, but anything that could go wrong, did. We planned to have it outside in the yard. We knew it would be cool, so we planned to do a bonfire and keep it casual... Because It had rained the day before the ground was soaked so we had to set it up in our driveway (not the most attractive part of our yard by a long shot!) I had spent days decorating the front and side yard with straw bales, corn stalks, pumpkins, ect... I hollowed out 50 gourds, drilled holes in them and suspended them from tree branches to be lit on the night of the party... Alas the ground was as wet as a sponge and muddy... The rental chairs were sinking in it and so at the last moment a couple hours before the party we were forced to move everything we could to the drive way... Almost all my decorating was lost in the dark where it wasn't seen by anyone. To top things off, one of Jed's family friends decided to take it upon herself to do a presentation to the couple in the form of an "engagement survival kit" she put together for them. When people reminisce about that night they don't talk about the heartfelt prayer that were offered up to them, the song a friend of theirs so beautifully sang in their honor, not even the food is what comes to mind... Nope, it's when she presented them with a box of condoms in front of their pastor... Yep, that is what people remember. I think I remember why I didn't want to tell this story in pictures now...

So much more has happened, but I don't want to overwhelm you on my first day back... I've missed you guys tons and hopefully you will forgive me for disappearing again... I did resolve to take time for myself and write here at least once a week... We will have plenty of time to get caught up!

Love you guys!

Thanks for listening,

Hodgepodgeing is Nuts...

2011-09-28T09:59:00.000-05:00

Here I go... Doing another Hodgepodge... "Cause it's fun & I just love Joyce who hosts it... She is an amazing bloggy friend who I feel blessed to know in this here bloggy realm!

Click this little link below if you wanna join the fun!

1. It is officially fall here in North America...I realize not everyone who participates in the Hodgepodge lives in North America but if you do, what's your favorite memory of Summer 2011? If you're not in North America, what's your favorite memory of the season just ending on your side of the world?

At the beginning of the summer we hosted a youth group night at our house (just on a whim) and absolutely fell in love with these amazing kids... We had so much fun and such a connection they immediately started campaigning us to become the new youth leaders. (Something we'd never felt qualified to do.) We told them that night that they were welcome here anytime, and starting that night we had teens here nearly every night all summer... It would be easier to count the number of times we didn't have extra kiddos here. After MUCH prayer and meeting with the pastor and church leadership we came to see that the LORD was calling us to this, even if only for this season of our lives... This summer completely changed our lives and the direction of them. Yea!!!!

2. Your favorite nut? You know I mean the edible kind, right?

Hands down the cashew... Love 'em!

3. What activity puts your sense of balance to the test?

Like Joyce, I tend to have trouble walking... Uneven surfaces outside tend to get me... I try not to fall, since it hurts waaaaaaay more now then it did as a kid, but I usually fall at least a few times a year.

4. How would you describe your sense of humor?

I think I have a good sense of humor... I love to laugh and make others laugh... I tend to be a ~~more then a~~ bit sarcastic... I also have to fight the urge to keep it clean... Taming my tongue has been one of my hardest and constantly on going tasks...

5. September 28th is National Ask a Stupid Question Day...what's your stupid question?

How do you keep a curious person in suspense?

6. Roller skates~hula hoop~jump rope...which activity would you most enjoy? Yes, you have to choose.

I tend to fall over so roller skates are no longer my friend... I am plus-sized so unless it is the larger hula-hoop I fear it would be a hula-belt... But since I injured my ankle about 14 years ago, I am the aforementioned "plus-sized" and gravity is no longer my friend, jumping rope is virtually impossible... So since Joyce says I HAVE to choose, and this her her game... I'll go with the hula-hoop...

7. What's your most sentimental possession?

Hands down, my scrapbooks...
8. Insert your own random thought here.

Remember way at the end of that too long post yesterday I showed you my start of fall decorating? (If not you can catch up here) Well, I added the mirror last night... Actually Sparky and her boyfriend helped me get it way up there and put a hook on the wall to keep it from sliding and wiping out everything in front of it...

What do you think? I think I like it...

Here is another view...

(or the bear's rear view... HeHeHe... I kill myself...)

Random thought #2... I almost always wear khakis... They fit me better then jeans and go with everything... I also own several navy blue tees... It is a common color folks... I also shop at Wal-Mart more then I care to admit... It's a small town, I don't have a lot of options... People keep asking me to help them... Really folks, just because someone is wearing khakis and navy blue doesn't mean they work there... I know we assume most of the other "shoppers" will be in PJ pants or worse, but come on...

Thanks for listening,

Things to Make You Go Awwww...

2011-09-27T09:49:00.003-05:00

This past weekend was the weekend of the much talked about baby shower. My cousin Jim's wife Janine is quite possibly the sweetest person on the planet so I really, really wanted to host a shower for her...

Unfortunately it was supposed to be in late June or early July sometime, but for many reasons that did not happen... Sparky and I had already picked out the color theme then started back in May planning and purchasing for this "outdoor summer garden party baby shower." Fast forward to late September... The baby has arrived, the "shower" becomes a "welcoming" party... As for the theme... Well, take a look at the weather here on Saturday...

I don't know if you can tell, but it was rainy, gray and overall nasty... So much for outdoor... But having this shower inside our super tiny home required a lot of heavy lifting and planning...

Friday night after the girlies and their guys got back from the football game, I put them to work rearranging all the living room and kitchen furniture... We shifted what we could and moving into Sparky's bedroom what we couldn't shift... It was total mayhem... I was up until about 3:30 in the morning finishing the general set up. and preparing chicken salad... I was dog tired in the morning, but there was much to be done before our guests arrived at noon...

I didn't have room for a "welcome" table, so I just added the frame with the invite in it to the entertainment center... The girlies said they thought I'd put the invite in that frame crooked on purpose... We'll go with that..

I had planned my summer decor for the top of the entertainment center around this party, so I had to leave it up until after it... I was itching from the first of the month for a change... I am so impatient.

Here is a look at the tables we set up in the middle of the kitchen...

These tables really filled the room up, but I do love the color combo Sparky chose.

Here are the little water bottles I did up for the party...

I did think they turned out pretty cute...

I put sparky in charge of decorating the table because by the time it was time to do this I had lost all ambition and a good deal of my will to live... (I am not cut out for only 2 1/2 hours sleep anymore.) To be truthful I am not a big fan of tables with stuff scattered all over them... I'd have left off the votive candles or clustered then closer to the center vase, put the candy in dishes and the starfish on each napkin as a take home... (Nobody realised they could take these so now I guess I am set for our next party.) Also we had found the little orange and turquoise shot glasses at Homegoods last summer for 4.99 a package and I had planned to put candy in each one at each place... We did this but Sparky believed they needed the tissue paper in them to look "festive"... Nobody knew there was candy in them, so we had plenty of snacks for the youth group kids who came by later...

I didn't say (nor will I ever) any of this to Sparky... Look how happy and proud she looks... Besides, it wouldn't have been done in time if she hadn't stepped up... And who cares if it wasn't how I'd have done it... It was pretty stinkin' cute either way...

Here (in the middle of the adjacent living room in our aforementioned tiny house) is the buffet table... This is before I put most of the food out, but I knew by that time I'd have little time for photos...

I did the little paper straws in the jelly/mason jars that you see all over the blog world for punch cups again... I just love this look and plan to do it again and again! I have a collection of bigger jars starting to build up in prep for our upcoming wedding season!

I needed to get at least one picture of the little peanut in here... I don't feel I can post one of the whole group since I didn't ask everyone if they would be willing to be on my blog, but the lady in white is my Aunt and the lady with baby Nathan is a relative by marriage and is in fact holding the baby, so they have no choice...

Janine (the mommy) is the second one in... Doesn't she even look sweet? Here she is with a friend from work and the girlies after the party... This was just before I ~~kicked everyone out~~ strongly hinted it was time to leave since several members of the youth group would be showing up soon... (Hey, three hours is one hour more then I allotted for this party... and I was dead tired... Besides the youth kiddos don't expect much... If I throw them a bag of chips they are happy, but ladies at a shower are high maintenance man...)

Here is a look at the whole set up... I think 12 is our indoor hosting capacity...

And in two weeks I am hosting approximately 30 here for an engagement party...

Yes, I have lost my mind...

Speaking of adorable peanuts...

Meet David Ethan, born just yesterday to my best friend Beth (who lives in TN) and her husband Tom...

Here she is... I love this woman... She is a blessing in my life beyond measure... Her and her husband are amazing people and Paul and I miss them terribly. We are very glad they will be here for Cate's wedding (their daughter will be a flower girl) in June...

I really, really, really wanted to throw her a shower, but alas time, money and distance got in the way... I do have a little something up my sleeve, but since she reads my blog I will have to wait to tell you about it... But I am excited about it...

Finally, yesterday I was able to start my fall decorating...

I only brought one tote up, so I started with the top of the entertainment center... I need to go procure some pumpkins and gourds, but over all I feel I am off to a good start.

I do need something to go on that wall up there...

I have a mirror downstairs I think I'll try today...

Here is another angle...

And below are some close ups... Since you didn't ask...

Sparky bought me the flowers yesterday... I admired them in the store and she insisted on getting them for me... She says I do everything for everyone else, the least she could do is get me a $15 grocery store bouquet... Sweet girl, someone should let her know that the least a person can do is nothing, she did something, and for that I am blessed yet again.

(By the way you should have seen Jackson's face when he found out when I decorate with candy it's for looks only until the end of the season... He was so confused...)

Thanks for listening,

Another Run In With The Law...

2011-09-22T11:16:00.000-05:00

I'm tellin' y'all... I'm a hardened criminal... Remember my last big run-in with the law? (you can read it here)

Last night when we got home from youth group we had another run-in... Cate went out on the back deck for a few minutes then Jackson joined her there... I can only imagine they went out there to talk... Hey, this is my story, if I say they were using their mouths for talking, so be it... Anyhow, (Wow, did things just get awkward?)... Sparky being the typical younger sister grabbed the spray bottle of water (that I use to deter the cats from scratching and the occasional teenager from sassing...) off the kitchen counter and decided to surprise them... It worked... Cate let out a yelp and Jackson gave chase, running smack into the screen door. (ouch...) When Cate caught up with Sparky she tickled her on the couch until she yelled "uncle"... They continued to tickle each other for a few minutes until I told the to "knock it off... Something is gonna get broken!" (ok, maybe I raised my voice... you caught me...) Anyhow, fast forward 20 minutes, we are all sitting in the living room mostly talking (wedding stuff) and watching a little TV when we hear a car in the drive way... Jackson sees a white sedan and assumes it is Sparky's boyfriend... Nope, it's the local police... Someone called in a "domestic disturbance" complaint assuming someone was being abused here! (Now, let's rewind... 20 MINUTES! Is that really a good response time for such a small basically crime free town???) As he walked up our porch he could see us all sitting around on the sofa... He looked as confused as we did. When I answered the door he told me why he was here, and (wait for it) I actually laughed in his face... It was so absurd... First of all... a tickle battle between sisters in no way sounds like abuse... It was laughter... Secondly, on any given night we have at least four but usually more teens hanging out here. Boys wrestling in the front yard, volleyball matches in the side yard, tickle fights are not unusual, and at least once a week they sit out by the fire-pit singing and talking... This is a busy household, and that is obvious to anyone who drives by simply by the number of cars in the driveway... Overall we were pretty tame last night... But apparently we party big here in the 'hood...
That's me... Hardened criminal...

Thanks for listening,

I'm It...

2011-09-19T17:34:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by my new bloggy friend Angela from Angela's Randomness and although I am kinda super busy I'll try to play along... (Mostly because I hate to feel rejected, and would never want sweet Angela there to think I don't love her to bits... 'cause I do! So drop over and say "Howdie" to this sweet blogger who is just a little too obsessed with monkeys!)

So back to business... Here's the rules...

When someone is tagged they are invited to tell 10 random things about themselves and then tag five other people. Enjoy learning some new things about your fellow bloggers!

Now we all know this is gonna be tricky since I only got to 50 on my "100 things about me" post... So I am a little short on material. I am gonna kinda cheat and use this as an excuse to update y'all on what's been going on... Kinda a two birds with one stone thing.

1. The baby shower I told you about way back here is finally upon us... It was supposed to be a summer theme shower, but we could not get our ducks in a row, so it's now a late summer "welcoming" party...

Here's a sneak peek at the invites I made...

It is still up in the air as to if it will be indoors (since it feels like fall here) or out... I will know better as we get closer to the weekend.

2. The "love birds" Cate and Jackson are at the jewelry store as I type this picking up her ring... I do hope she loves it as much as I think she will...

Here they were on the day he proposed...

She is all mad that she didn't even have make-up on or anything and that he's wearing an old stained sweatshirt... I told her if she wanted pretty pictures they should have planned the proposal better... Jackson was speechless since he knew that was aimed at him...

Here they were last night... It had been a long, busy weekend so we decided to put in a movie and relax... They got a little too relaxed... They were sitting up holding hands when they fell asleep, within an hour they had drifted to this... In all fairness, it was mostly Cate doing the "drifting" but I woke them up and embarrassed them anyhow... (That's how I roll.)

But first I secretly took this picture, because... well, face it, they are just so darn cute! I promised her I wouldn't post it on facebook, but she didn't say anything about on here! (again, how I roll)

Please note the state of my house... I was going to crop it, but all of us have busy weekends that leave our homes a wreck by Sunday night... Why hide it... (oh wait... maybe that's just me...) Either way, I'm keepin' it real for you...

3. Speaking of cute...

I seems that young love is in the air around these parts...

These two are so cute I think I may get a toothache...

I may need to come up with a blog name for this fella... He seems to be sticking around...

And Sparky is thrilled... They have a big "date" night coming up... They have decided not to go to homecoming as it is (and I quote) " a bunch of bumping and grinding to horrible music with a bunch of kids who are either drunk, high or planning to get that way." So instead since she still wants to do the "dress up" part he's taking her out on a special date... Sparky and I went dress shopping yesterday afternoon... You know I'll post pictures for you!

Here is where I cheat a little...

#4 - 8. Here are some of Cate's wedding inspiration photos...

(source)

9. (another cheat) I have a question... She hopes to get married in a field outside a barn in which we will hold the reception... We will have about 100 people there... To rent 100 chairs for the ceremony it will cost $300... We will need another 100 chairs for the reception. Would it be "tacky" to either have guests carry their chairs inside for the reception or to ask (in advance) some able bodied people to help do this task? Or do I just need to spend the money for 200 chairs? I reserved 200, but it seems like a lot of money just for chairs... What do you think?

10. And finally an actual random thought... I am so happy it is sweater weather! I love fall, and fall in Maine is exceptional... The leaves, the cool, crisp days and cooler nights, apple picking, pumpkins, the slight drop off in the tourist population making it less frustrating going out... I truly love fall!!

Now, I'm supposed to tag five people, but I don't know who to pick...

If you want to be tagged just say "pick me" in the comments and I'll add a link to your blog here!

Thanks for listening,

Listen To This...

2011-09-14T22:56:00.000-05:00

My pastor played this at church Sunday and I was touched by this song... I went home and downloaded it... Then after youth group tonight there was a little time left over...(I told you we help out with the youth... right? I didn't??? Sorry... Now you know.) We'd all had an off night and I wondered if there was any point to the evening... But there they were after youth singing together (when they could have been goofing off.) and when I heard them singing this song I was moved to tears... It was beyond beautiful... Even on an "off night" the LORD is there!

This is Leeland... "I Wonder"...

Now don't go and do that thing I usually do when I see a video... Ignore it thinking you'll come back later... Take a minute and listen to this one...

Thanks for listening,

Post Its... 'Cause I'm Lazy...

2011-09-14T12:19:00.000-05:00

And 'cause they are fun...

Here goes...

Thanks for listening,

Lots To Say...

2011-09-11T13:07:00.002-05:00

Do you ever have so much to say that you don't know where to start... I could sum it all up in a few concise sentences, but y'all know me better then that. If it can be said in a few sentences I will make paragraphs for ya... I'm all about the details... It's why you love me... (Ok... maybe you don't, but heck, if you are still reading this and haven't clicked away it's on you!)

First of all, to cover Sparky... Yes, she has a boyfriend. They know each other from church and school and have for over a year. This summer they spent a lot of time ~~flirting~~ getting to know each other and last week he asked our permission to "date" Sparky. I posted about a week ago about our thoughts on dating... If you missed it you can click HERE to get caught up. Anyhow, he didn't just spend the summer getting to know Sparky, but getting to know the whole family and we really like him. (Or else Paul would have said no... I hope!) He is a great kid and I'm sure y'all will get plenty of chances to hear about him seeing as he is going to be best man at Cate & The Boy's wedding....

Do you like how I just dropped that juicy nugget in there... Did you have to re-read that one?

First of all, a public service announcement: If you know us in real life, not just the bloggy realm (you know who you are...) and especially if you are local, please let them tell you and others!

But yes... The Boy (I really need a new name for him) asked Cate to marry him and she said yes! (After he asked her father then sought out both of our blessing.) I should be freaking out... My 19 year old daughter plans to marry soon after her 20th birthday next year, and she plans to marry the boy she has been dating only two months, but I'm not... It is so clear that this is right... They have been on this path since they met... They are amazing together and they both truly love the LORD. I am truly happy for them.

So, are you sitting down... There is more news...

They quit college... And we are happy about it...

No, we are not nuts... If they hadn't made this decision together Paul planned to go down and remove Cate. You see, it wasn't at all what they advertised it to be. We knew it was a small school, but we were misled as to exactly how small. We were told they never accept more then 20 student to each class in order to keep classes intimate... How many people does that lead you to believe go to school there? Well, Cate and the Boy were 2/3 of the entire student body! Yes, there were only 3 students in the entire school. Also, (possibly due to the size) the classes were a joke... Cate said the home school co-op we belonged to in TN was more organized and the classes more thought out... Here is the problem with that... We were paying for her to go to school there. $4000 a semester... $800 a class... One class was called "personal leadership"... It was a daily devotions class. The book they used was a devotional book... Like one you might order to do in a small group, but not pay $800 for. But that was only one aspect... The other problem was in their doctrine. We knew the church that "sponsors" the college has somewhat different doctrine then we as a family subscribe to. We spoke to them at length about this, but apparently to no avail. They seemed open to accepting students from different backgrounds, or we thought so... It turns out they have some beliefs that we can only describe as unbiblical and they seemed very intent on forcing Cate and the Boy into these beliefs. I don't want to go into detail here, but it was a bad fit. There were many other reasons this decision was made, (like their two week window to withdraw was closing) but again I don't want to bash anyone... They plan to figure out where the LORD wants them school wise and pursue it next fall... As a couple.

Which brings me back to the engagement... Yes, we are fully supportive. These two are deeply bonded in a way only the LORD could do. Their relationship has been a time that could only be described as a "pressing" and it seems to have bonded them to each other and the LORD. If you remember, soon after they started officially "dating" his brother died a horrible and untimely death... And they were both in the room to witness it. They had to deal with that, and all the subsequent things that resulted from it. They also had a good mutual friend spiral out of control this summer and try to take anyone not deep rooted in their faith with her. (Our youth group is still reeling and rebuilding.) Then there was the short lived, but extremely stressful school experience... One of the (many) reasons they left was that the leadership there did not support their dating. In fact, they were open with us that it was their goal to force them apart. It was their personal view that they are too young to be seriously dating anyone, and they made it their mission to do us a "favor" and help them to see that... Instead of breaking up they both dug in deeper to the word both together and as individuals... If it was their goal at the school to divide them they failed... They are firmly cemented, and anyone who knows them can see they truly do belong together. His parents are just as supportive.

Would we have preferred they wait... Maybe, but not anymore...

So, that's what is going on here... Does my life make yours feel sane? I'm off to plan a wedding...

Thanks for listening,

PS... I've decided to call The Boy "Jackson"... Because it's his middle name and thats as creative as I can be... Since it looks like he is sticking around I guess he needs a name other then The Boy, so there you go.

It's Over Folks...

2011-09-07T20:35:00.000-05:00

No us... You & Me, We're for keeps...

It's summer...

It has left the building...

The other night we had to go out and I had to put on a sweater...

After months of eating here...

(Alright I'll go out there... It's raining folks...)

Eating here...

Almost every night...

With just us...

With the company...

At times this little deck was so loaded down with teens eating hot dogs there were five to a bench over there...

Alas, Monday night when we ate there it got cold...

So did our food...

And it was dark before we finished dinner...

We didn't linger and talk like we had all summer...

We fled for the inside region...

(sigh)

Oh... See that bag there? (How can you miss it)

Here look...

You can thank Sparky for that being in my shot. Here in Maine we pay a deposit on our bottles and cans so we save them and take them back to get all our nickles back... But we have a small house, (makes a postage stamp look spacious small) so I keep a bin outside the back door to toss them in. Last night it was full so I told sparky to pull it out and take it to the shed... I told her it was going to rain tomorrow so don't leave it on the deck, because I don't want a month's supply of wet soda cans in the back of my car... She listens so well.

I can't complain... See those benches there? The shabby busted looking ones? I was supposed to restore them this summer... I guess she leaned this behavior from the master.

Oh, and while we are focused on that bag I want to make a little service announcement...

See that orange can there?

It is a "soda" called Moxie... It is a New England thing and if anyone ever offers you Moxie say "No thank you" and question your friendship with the mean soul who offered. The flavor has been (somewhat accurately) described as "carbonated prune juice" or "carbonated used motor oil"... The only way you could like Moxie is if you started drinking it as a young child and kept drinking it... Everyone who claims to like the vile stuff has been drinking it since before they could remember. It is only here because the girlie's boyfriends drink it...

Yes, you caught me... That was plural... They are multiplying and no, I don't want to discuss it... Other then to say that since I only have two daughters hopefully we have reached our maximum boyfriend capacity... Hopefully. Don't push me... You know I'll fill you in soon... Golly... Here I am trying to warn you about that evil soda and you want to go and change the subject.

Yes, Sparky has a boyfriend... It's new... I mean they have been flirting all summer so it's not new new... It is just official... As in "talked to the dad for permission" official... You know him... You met him here... We like him too... There, now you know everything... You are lucky I like you so much, 'cause you are just plain pushy...

Thanks for listening,

This Is One Strange Cyber World...

2011-09-07T10:00:00.001-05:00

... We just ~~live~~ blog in it...

So I thought I'd share with y'all a strange thing that happened to Sparky and I last week...

Please note I originally posted this as a comment on the blogger in question's site and was immediately bombarded with emails and comments about it... Apparently she has more then the six or so readers I have, and they love her so much they even read her comments section... I am pretending I'm not jealous... Fake it til you make it folks...

Here is what happened... (And this is in fact the actual comment I sent her, slightly edited to make sense in this context... Not for acuity's sake, but because I'm lazy...)

I was at the store the other night with Sparky picking out dish soap… (we are wild and crazy like that) and she was sniffing the different soaps and I told her to just pick one and I don’t care which as long as it’s the brand I have the coupon for… (again… wild and crazy) So I told her “quit getting all handsome* over the dish soap and put it in the cart already.” When to my surprise an uber-cute young thing spins around and asks if I read “The Lumberjack’s Wife”?? You can imagine my surprise to meet a fellow blogger here in my tiny Maine hamlet… We immediately bonded and exchanged blog and contact info… I have a coffee date thanks to Taylor's cool self!

“The Lumberjack’s Wife… Uniting bloggers in random circumstances and random places with her uber cool randomness!” (PS… notice the gratuitous use of “uber”… That’s how excited I am… I really need to get out more.)(PSS… unfortunately I don’t know how to put the cool dots on top of the u in uber.)

*Handsome: A Taylorism... Keep up folks... (Ironically that's another one...)

So that's it... Taylor is "dish soap aisle famous" and I have some funky smelling dish soap... Seems fair...

Thanks for listening,

PS. I know now that I linked up to her all six of you will start reading her blog and be so impressed by her coolness I may never see you again in these parts... It's ok...

PPS. I don't at all find it ironic that the weekend a bunch of her ultra cool readers pop over is also the weekend I post about how I like the least cool books on the planet... I have no fear they will return...

The Confession...

2011-09-03T21:57:00.000-05:00

It's time I confess something to y'alls... I have a guilty pleasure... Something I'm kinda embarrassed about... Something I have been doing for over a year now... Something I hurry and hide should anyone drop by...

You see I am totally addicted to... (Ohhh... this is harder then I thought...) Here goes...

I can't stop reading Beverly Lewis' Amish fiction...

There... I said it... Please don't judge me...

See, I'm kinda a book snob... I didn't realise this about myself until one day a little over a year ago. Just before we left Tennessee a friend gave me a box of books she was done reading. The box went onto the truck as is, I didn't even peek inside... You can imagine my surprise that under the top layer of books was about a dozen of these books. I immediately called her and teased her. She claimed these were her mother-in-laws, but she did say "Don't be such a book snob, they are a quick, fun read..." (Mother-in-law's huh??)

I planned to drop these off at the Goodwill, but Paul suggested I donate them to a church library or assisted living / nursing home. So I put them aside until last July (2010) when I realised I was completely out of books to read... (I am always reading something... I have to in order to fall asleep.) I was looking at the books I'd already read, but was uninspired when Paul dug out that box of books...

I told him I wasn't interested, but bed time came and I really needed something to read so I grabbed book one of a series... How bad could it be? After a mild ribbing from Paul I announced we were taking a trip to Goodwill tomorrow for new reading material, but for one night how bad could they be?

That was all it took... I was hooked. Sure the plot lines were simple and at times plodding, but the character lines were rich and well formed. Sure by book two I saw a plot pattern that I still see in nearly every book, but they are, well, sweet. I tend to take a break between series, but I do find myself going back to these books. I have found myself reading them all summer... They are fun summer reads... Easy, light, and fun... I even (gulp) ordered several from Amazon to have an ample supply.

There I said it... Please don't think less of me.

Thanks for listening,

PS. This confession is not a review, or endorsement... I most certainly didn't receive anything for writing this... I did pop over to Beverly Lewis' site and borrow pictures of a few of her many books... and I may still hide them when company comes over, but maybe not...

How We Do It...

2011-09-01T10:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I told you I'd fill you in on our dating/courting rules, and so in a rare turn of events I decided to be prompt...

Please keep in mind this is our opinion... This is what works for our family... I am in no way telling you to try this in yours... It just turns out some of you were curious and I am willing to risk inciting the "haters" to share this with you... (Please... No hating on me today... I did say it was opinion...) I am also about to share our opinions about purity and purity pledges... Again this is just how we do it... Every family needs to make their own choices in these areas...

When I was a teenager I wasn't saved and grew up in a fairly liberal home... Dating was whatever I wanted it to be. My mom took me to the OB/GYN the summer before high school and put me on the pill. I guess she wanted me "prepared." She said it would help with my cramps but we both knew she just didn't want premature grandchildren. Yikes... I felt like I was at the starting line of some race and they had said "On you marks... Get set..." and I hadn't trained or conditioned for this race... I won't go into the gory details but I didn't wait until I got married... In fact nobody even suggested I ever do such a thing... It was a forgone conclusion I would have sex before I got married.

Lets just say our approach has been different... We talked to the girls about purity and what the Bible says about sex... I even had some frank talks with them about the consequences of sex (not just STDs and pregnancy but also the emotional toll.) but left the decision in their hand. We both felt they had to choose purity for themselves or it wouldn't mean anything. I am serious, we didn't pressure them to make a public vow or sign some kind of contract, and refused to participate when a youth group was doing a "purity drive" trying to force all the kids to sign a public decree... We told the girlies they had to come to this decision on their own following how they felt led by the Holy Spirit but if they decided they wanted to remain pure and decided they wanted a "purity ring or necklace" or something to have an outward reminder of their vow before the LORD let us know and we would take them to get one. Both girls came to a decision on purity at different times and for different reasons... Well, for one reason, but different things prompted them... When we talk about sex I still tell them this vow is between them and the LORD and that they alone are the ones to make the continual choice to keep it, and they will have to live with the consequences of choosing otherwise. As they have gotten older I have been able to share more about my experiences with premarital sex and the regrets I have in this area...

That's purity and we feel it's their vow and their choice, but in dating it is our job to set the rules and standards. We know rebellious kids will break the rules, but we set them assuming they won't rebel and decided to deal with rebellion should it surface in this area only if it arises. We personally feel too many parents of good, non-rebellious kids assume their kids will rebel at some point and need to set the rules accordingly. Typically in our observation these parents set such restrictive rules from the start that it is only a matter of time before the kids feel the need to rebel. Look at history, it is human nature (not necessarily a good thing) to rebel against oppression... We need to guide our kids not oppress them people...

"Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord."
Ephesians 6:4 AMP

Hopping off my soapbox now...

When we set our rules for dating/courting we set them to help hold the girls and their "boyfriends" accountable, but not to discourage or oppress them. You see, we kinda wanted our daughters to make these first steps into relationships while they still lived at home, while we were there in a literal sense to guide them. We never encouraged them to date, but we didn't discourage them either.

Here is what "dating" looks like in our family... We encourage them to come to us if they feel they want to pursue a "dating" relationship and encourage them to have this talk with us as a couple. We don't require the boy to go to Paul and ask his permission, but we do find it respectful if they sit down and talk to us together. We really don't like it when some boy asks my husband for permission to date our daughter and hasn't even asked her yet... My husband says he is not in the business of "pimping" out his daughters... If she wants to date a boy it is because they have spent time getting to know each other and they mutually decide to pursue dating. (This has happened.) The "rule" is ideally they need to be friends with the boy first. (This has mostly worked out so far.)

After they express their desire to date (they don't like the term courting so we just call it dating.) they are expected to spend the majority of their time together either in our home, their home (if we know the family and their standards) or with friends who we all agree will hold them accountable. Please notice I said "majority" not all... No relationship will ever grow under a microscope. We encourage them to get to know each other alone initially in small doses and controlled situations... Some examples are walks, car rides with a destination (not just random driving around) and time outside on the porch together etc... As the relationship grows and our trust in them as a couple grows we slowly increase the amount of time they spend alone and where. (This is also dependant on the age of the girl in question.) Example... Cate's boyfriend lives about 30 minutes from here, they had been going out for sometime and had proven to us they were trust worthy. One night before they were meeting up with friends he needed to go home and change his clothes and his parents would not be there. We allowed Cate to ride with him to his home asking her to wait outside while he went in and changed, then they could proceed to their destination. Some parents might think we were foolish... Here's our point, rebellious kids wouldn't have spelled out this situation for us, they would have lied or "omitted" parts of the truth... We have had no reason to distrust them because they have given us no reason to. They are both open with us about their vows and their desire to keep them. I believe parents have a 6th sense and know (or at least suspect) when their child is up to no good... If you listen to that, you'll probably be fine. Did Cate wait outside? I believe she did, because I trust her. I trust her because she is open with me and does not have a history of rebellion or deception. If she did have a history of such things, if the boy in question had different values, or if we felt they were "sneaky" and not open with us we would not have said ok. (Keep in mind Cate & The Boy are 19... Technically adults... We are lucky they are good kids and are still willing to follow our rules.)
That's kinda it... No hard and fast rules... Nothing we could list on the fridge in numbered format... I don't even know if sharing this will be in any way helpful to anyone... It's just how we do it.

Thanks for listening,

The Happs...

2011-08-31T11:55:00.001-05:00

Warning... This is an exceedingly long post... If you have nothing you need to be doing right now, by all means read on... Otherwise you may want to go about your life and come back if you are ever overly bored... You were warned...

Sorry it took me so long to update y'alls on what been goin' down in these parts... I have been ~~crazy~~ busy and ~~losing my mind~~ getting Cate off to school was time consuming... We had a fundraising yard sale to raise a little extra cash to send them off with... People from church and family donated tons of stuff and we raised a little over $1000. ($500. for each of them.)

Oh, wait... You are probably saying "them??? Who the heck is she going on about?" Well remember I mentioned that our sweet Cate has a boyfriend? Yeppers, some kiddos take a futon or mini fridge to college, not our Cate... She is taking a boyfriend.

Here's how it all went down...

Wait... I'm getting ahead of myself... What ever shall we call this interloper who has spent nearly every waking, non-working moment in our home for the past few months?? I was gonna say "the Brat", but only because he's soooo not bratty, but that seems uncalled for... For now we will just call him The Boy until I think of another moniker for him...

So, here's how it all went down... Sparky met The Boy first... He went to her school and was part of the youth group at church... If you are a long time bloggy friend you'll remember him from this picture... He's the one in the dorky flag sweater... (Yes, getting his head licked by that guy who has been hanging around our Sparky all summer, but that's a story for a different day...)

Also there is a story behind that sweater... But again, for a different day... Let's face it folks this is gonna be a really long post as it is, and if I cram all my ~~lame~~ good stuff into this one y'alls won't appreciate it... But I digress...

Anyhow, The Boy was a senior in high school so he was in our youth group which goes up to 22 years old to cover our "young adults" too, so our Cate met him there...

They didn't think much of each other at first... I mean they were friends, but The Boy is a super nice kid so he's friends with just about everyone. I fact we kinda thought Sparky was sweet on him based on the photo evidence...

But our suspicions were wrong... She had already decided he might be a good match for her sister... When a certain small Bible college came to speak to our youth Cate couldn't make it that night since she had work, but Sparky not only thought is sounded just like what Cate was looking for but also found out The Boy was applying... Clever ~~devious~~ girl that she is, she convinced her sister to go visit the school.

Alas, she was right, it seemed like the LORD made this school just for our sweet Cate and during our visit she felt led to apply. It turned out they were having an event that night, and Cate wanted to stay. Our Sparky suggested she ride back with The Boy so we didn't have to stay down there and since he lived in our neck of the woods, it made sense... A flurry of calls and texts later it was all set up. It was only on the ride home Sparky ~~fessed up~~ let us know that she felt they would be a good match and that she was hoping a couple hour car ride alone would get things in motion.

She was right... You see they are both a couple of fairly serious kids with a deep love of the Lord and they both have a silly side... It wasn't but a few days before her father and I noticed a bit of a flirtation going on. He was here a lot, and they seemed to really like each other... When they started going on almost nightly walks together we knew it was only a matter of time, and we were right. Eventually (much longer then we thought it would take) he got up the courage to ask us for permission to "date" our daughter. Poor boy was so nervous he couldn't even eat dinner... We had already gotten to know him quite well by this point and prayed about this so of course we said yes, and the rest is now history...

Here he is giving our Cate one sunflower on their first month anniversary... Please excuse the mess... Oh and that's his mama in the back ground. We don't really let our daughters just "date" in the traditional sense... It is more of a dating/courting hybrid. We don't let the boy (any boy) come and just pick up one of our daughters and go who knows where just to drop her off hours later... I'll do a post on our personal thoughts on this later (and try to shorten this one) but suffice it to say, the boy and our girl are basically expected to spend most of their time either with our family or his...

Sooo... Back to the yard sale... You might want to scroll up if you forgot what we were talking about...

We had a huge yard sale the Saturday before last and we did really well the first day. Paul's contribution was to sell hot dogs, etc... to any hungry shoppers... This will be important in a minute... Wait for it... Anyhow we had TONS of stuff left over so The Boy's mom and I decided to open it back up after church on Sunday. It seemed like a good idea. So on Sunday I asked to make an announcement. After worship, but before announcements our pastor had Cate and The Boy come upfront and pray over them before they left for school the following week... He then had everyone come up and lay hands on them and pray corporately for them, and their families... Then he had Paul pray over them (The Boy's dad wasn't there that day) and I was basically a blubbering basket case. (say that 10 times fast...) On our way back to our seat our pastor started announcements and said "Rebecca before you sit down, you have one right?" so back up I went. I reported on how well we did, but right there in the front row was my girlie and her beau... Pretty soon I've lost my train of thought and remembered we had plenty of hot dogs and chips left to sell from Saturday and that is how I accidentally invited the WHOLE CHURCH over for lunch... Yep, all 160 or so of them... I didn't even realise what I'd just done, but Paul did. After announcements we break so the kiddos can go to children's church and we have coffee and snacks at that point. People kept coming up letting us know they would be there and asking what they could bring. I looked at Paul and asked him if I had just done what I thought I had... He said I had and we should think about leaving early because we were gonna need a lot more food... Whoops... Keep in mind, we were on day two of a yard sale.. Our home was trashed... And in the next few hours we hosted an impromptu church picnic. I don't know how many showed up but we started with 260 hot dogs and only had about 35 left over...

I'll try to get through the rest of this quickly...

How did the Boy spend the yard sale??

When he wasn't working he'd get as far away from his mom and his girlfriend's mom as possible...

See...

Yeppers... I think the "moms" treed that there poor boy! (I said that in my head with a bad southern accent... Add what ever accent works for you...)

Here the Girlies are at the end of the sale...

(Poor guy was climbing down the tree at that very moment, but I told him I'd title this one "Creepy Boyfriend"...)

Here they are together...

Sparky calls this one "best friends"... She misses them a ton too...

Before Cate left we went to meet our newest cousin...

and spent as much time with the kiddos as possible...

Here they are the night before we took them down...

I love this photo...

But these seem more accurate...

and this one...

Those two actually came first... I had to force them to stop goofing off so I could get the good one!

Here is Cate in her new "dorm" room...

The president of the college turned his daylight basement into a series of bedrooms surrounding a common space for the girls "dorms" (Remember... EXTREMLY small college.) The guys kinda have the same set up at his sons house. Unfortunately the Boy's room wasn't ready so he is staying in the guest room upstairs in the same house... This is unfortunate because they feel like they are under a microscope with everyone watching them, so they are more then a little uncomfortable with the current situation...

Here they are with Cate's "school mom"

She's the wife of the president and the owner of the aforementioned microscope...

They were due to start classes Monday, but because of "Hurricane Irene" (not much of a storm in our parts) power was out so they had Monday off... So after two whole days at school (ie... two days of me being weepy and sad.) They decided to trek home for the few things they forgot...

The Boy didn't realise he "forgot" a haircut...

Paul set him straight...

There... Paul declared this "much better"...

And they are off again...

Someone get that boy a belt...

So... That's the happs around here...

If you are still reading this... Wow... What a true bloggy friend... I started just skimming myself about ten minutes ago and I'm writing it...

Next time I will try to be brief...

Hey, a girl can dream...

Thanks for listening,

Hodgepodging Again...

2011-08-24T10:23:00.000-05:00

I have started and not had time to finish two posts so far this week... I am spending every possible minute with my sweet Cate... Even tough she will only be an hour and a half from here it's starting to feel like she is going to the other side of the planet... I know our children are supposed to grow up and leave home, but... (I don't know how to finish that... I am so happy for her, but I will miss her ohhh so much!)

Time to focus on something else...

How about another "Hodgepodge"?

Pop on over to "From This Side of the Pond" to play along...

1. What is something that bothers you if it's not done perfectly?
Sweeping, dusting and vacuuming... I hate to do these things but if a spot is missed I can't just sit and relax... I obsess over it... I hate discovering these spots when we have guests.

2. Do you think a 6th sense exists? Explain.
I don't know about in general, but I can ~~almost~~ always tell when I'm being lied to. Not just with my girlies, but everybody... My husband jokes that I'm the human lie detector. Most of the time I'll just go with whatever they are saying then later tell Paul... The stuff people lie about...

3. Do you say your goodbyes slowly, quickly, or not at all?
Quickly... I can't stand prolonging uncomfortable situations... It just makes them more uncomfortable.

4. On a scale of 1-10, with ten being hot hot hot, what level of spice do you like in your food? What's your favorite 'spicy' dish?
I'm about a 3 or 4... I grew up in Maine which means I was a -10 on the spice chart as a child. To Mainers a little salt and pepper is fine, but be careful with all other spices... Growing up I was only aware of parsley flakes, garlic (powder only), paprika, cinnamon and Bell's poultry seasoning... So I've come a long way. Paul is probably an 8 or 9 so he'd say I haven't come far enough...
My favorite "spicy" dish... Probably orange beef.
5. What is one of your all time favorite commercial jingles?
If you put anything to song I can remember it forever, as long as I can conjure the tune, so as a result I really, really don't like jingles since they are all with me forever. I currently have Joyce's Coke on stuck in my head and I didn't even play the video... Just the suggestion... So I will pass on this question as pondering it will start up a bunch more.

6. Plane, train, boat or auto...your preferred method of travel?
Hands down there is nothing in this world like a summer day on a sail boat off the coast of Maine... That being said, it isn't really a form of travel, not the way I enjoy it any way... I'd have to go with car... Planes are great for efficiency, but there is nothing fun about air travel these days... We have traveled by car a lot and I like it the most... I love a good car trip... We have car trip "foods" and I love looking for a good restaurant or motel... I love discovering a hidden gem... I love books on "tape" and long discussions about ridiculous stuff. The girlies like to search stores along the way for candy we've never heard of... We always wait and try it together in the car of course... (PS. There is some really yucky candy out there!)

7. What is something you take for granted?
I'll go with something I took for granted... Being "the mom"... I am working my way outta a job here and I have no idea what I'll do next.

8. Insert your own random thought here.
I will update you on all of the goings on around here in a few days, but things are so crazy right now I probably won't be able to post again until next week. (But when I do, it will be epic!)

Thanks for listening,

Stinkin' Thinkin'...

2011-08-18T09:43:00.001-05:00

As I work on my "100" list I keep finding things that I want to tell you right away... I am up to 84, so I imagine I will finish my list soon...

When I was a new believer, a Bible Study I went to focused on our "Stinkin Thinkin"... There are whole series of books about the lies we believe... I did a study reading one of these books just a few years back... And yet my "stinkin thinkin" continues... Here is a doozy I just realised I have truly believed for years...

I was told years ago by an older woman, whom I really admire that my being fat is a sin and until I got that sin under control I’d never experience the fullness of the LORD’s blessings in my life… I have secretly blamed everything that goes wrong in my life or with my family on this… On myself…

Is there truth in this? I don't know, but I don't think so... I also know I am ready to let this "stinkin thinkin" go... I am giving it to the LORD today...

Is there "stinkin thinkin" you are struggling with today?

Thanks for listening,

A Two Fer...

2011-08-17T17:49:00.002-05:00

As in Two blog post in one day... Sometimes it's a fine line between blessing and curse...

I've always wanted to do the Wednesday Hodgepodge over at From This Side Of The Pond... Joyce is one of my bestest bloggy friends... I just love her to pieces, but I've never done her weekly linky thingy... Seriously folks, what kind of friend am I... (don't answer that...)

Here goes...

1. Using what's in your frig right now what sort of meal would you be able to make for guests who are knocking at the front door this very minute?

I just made pasta carbonara for dinner and all those ingredients came out of the fridge... Does that count? I "meal plan" and shop once a week on Mondays so I could make a lot with what is in there right now.
2. What is something about yourself that you hope will change but that probably never will?

I am fat... It is just a fact... I hope that doesn't offend anyone but it is really the best word... I have been "heavy" my whole life, but I got seriously ill several years ago and due to some medicine I was on I gained a lot of weight... I lost quite a bit of it, but without some kind of miracle I don't think I'll lose much more... I kinda stopped trying since otherwise I'm pretty healthy... I hope someday that word won't be the first thing people think when they see me, but somehow I doubt it.
3. What's something about yourself that you hope will never change?

I love people and desire to get to know everyone... Hear their story... I get excited when I see visitors at church... I like to think I am very approachable and easy to talk to and I like that about me. I think I make people feel comfortable and make it easy for them to open up. I love to have people over to our home and make them feel welcome... I have been burned many times by people, but I hope to never lose my love for everyone I meet...
4. Do you usually send serious or funny greeting cards? Why?

Funny... Because they are shorter... I have very little patience to stand there and pick out cards so the funny ones are quicker to read... Plus, I hate that moment when someone gives you a serious card then watches you read it... It's like they are waiting for your reaction... It's too much pressure, I find myself thinking more about how I should react and not really reading... Then I wonder if they think I'm "slow" because I've been staring at this card too long... Aghhhh... I just fake it and hug them... Please people, go with the funny card, or better yet, just give me the $2.50... I'd genuinely hug you for that!

5. Bird watching, shell gathering, or star gazing- your choice for whiling away the hours?

None of the above... I would rather read or watch a movie...

(Addendum... After reading a bunch of other answers I feel like a poo-head not picking one so let me explain... I live near the ocean and tourists scour the beaches for shells, it is rare to find anything in good shape and makes me annoyed at tourists... Bird watching is out since I have a cat so a bird feeder would actually be a cat feeder... As for star gazing, ok, sometimes I do enjoy sitting with the girlies and their friends around the fire pit, and I do look at the stars then, but it's just not my thing... I find the older I get, the earlier I want to sleep... So that is why you'll find me whiling away the hours in my hammock with a book...)
6. Do you double or triple check things? If so, what?

Yes, my blog posts... And I still miss typos and awkward phrases...

7. What's your favorite place for people watching?

I live in a very touristy area of Maine so Main Street in any of the little mid-coast towns here is perfect for people watching in the summer months...
8. Insert your own random thought here.

I think I am gonna miss my oldest girlie when she goes to college next week... I think I kinda want to lock her in a closet and never let her go... I think this and yet I know I will let her go... I think I will cry when we leave.
Thanks for listening,