Highland Mummy

Be Careful with your Words

2011-02-08T14:26:00.004Z

Image courtesy of hughbourne

I wonder how many words we speak in a day?In a week? In a lifetime? I suppose if I really wanted to know I could google it, but I would imagine that even just looking at one day, we are talking thousands (or certainly for me it is thousands, Hubby would probably be a whole lot less!).

Lately I have been thinking how we use these thousands of words. Do we think about how we use them? Is there much power in them? Several incidences of people using the power of their words to hurt me or discourage me lately has led me to think about the power of what we say. Then, as if by magic, I came across this blogpost over at Raising Olives. It reminded me again that the words we say to others can impact their lives in ways we might never know, both for good and bad.

I was raised in a Christian household and for as long as I remember my mom warned us to be careful with our words. To speak to people the way we would like to be spoken to, to remember that people have feelings. To not assume about people's lives, that perhaps those who were angry or rude to us were going through something we could never imagine. As a child, I understood it was wrong to say bad things but found it difficult to understand why other children so easily said hurtful things to each other. As an adult, I am still amazed at the hurtful, thoughtless things people say to each other and also to their children.

Every word you use to others is a chance to do good. Your one positive comment can be the beacon of light someone needs in their lives to keep going. Your support could be the inspiration for them to make a decision that didn't think they were capable of.

Years ago my Husband and I and our two oldest children were living back in Canada. My middle son, M, who has cerebral palsy was about 2 1/2, could crawl with one arm, but not much else. He couldn't talk, he couldn't walk and didn't show much signs of even attempting either. All the medical experts back in the UK had been vague when I asked about his future, saying they just didn't know, wait and see. I was understandably very deflated about the whole thing, and as each birthday/ month older passed and nothing changed I began to lose hope. Thing is M needed his mom to have hope and faith, he needed me to believe.

A couple of weeks after moving back to Canada, M was assigned a children's disability coordinator( someone who makes sure all the right people see him and coordinates different specialists to have meetings to help improve care) called Win. From the moment she arrived on my doorstep, Win was full of hope and happiness. She came in, played with M, asking how he was doing. I told her he couldn't walk and talk yet, and no one knew when he would or if he would. Win smiled and said "Oh gosh Allison, of course he'll walk! He'll walk and then he'll run and then he'll run up and down stairs and before you know it, he'll be jumping of the second last step instead of walking it." As I write it, I can hear her voice from so very long ago echoing in my ears to this day. I remember after she said that, I just thought "No, he won't, I don't know why she said that". But every time I got frustrated and started my 'M will never walk 'pity party in my head, I would think -Win says he will, she knows more than me, so he will. So instead of crying my eyes out I got up and worked with him more to walk.

By the time he was 3 he could walk a little. I mean a few steps at the most. I thought: Why did Win say that? Why would she say he would jump off the bottom step, when he so obviously never will? But she knew more than me and she said he would walk, so we persevered. Even on the darkest of days where people wanted to know what was wrong with him, why he couldn't walk..I thought about this woman I had met once and what she told me. Win was my beacon of light through those dark days.

M did learn to walk. Not the way you or I walk, he walks with an unsteady gait and a limp, but walk he does. He runs, he runs up and down stairs,and do you know what else he does? He always jumps from the second last step.Always.

It wouldn't have mattered if M would have never walked or talked, but I am grateful he does. I needed faith and hope and a woman I met once and never again gave it to me in a few spoken words. Spoken words she had probably forgotten all about by the time she sat down that night with her family for dinner. But not me. For nine long years those few spoken words have resonated within me as a reminder of her hope in M and my need to have hope and faith.

Choose the words you use carefully today.To you, you may forget them as soon as you say them, but someone might remember them for years to come, or even a lifetime. If that's the case, you want them to be for a good purpose.

And To Win H., wherever you are...I owe you more than words can ever express. I hope one day our paths cross again, and you can meet the boy who always jumps the last step.

Allison xx

Saving Money 2011- End of Month 1

2011-01-30T18:38:00.000Z

As you might remember I recently talked about how this year, my goal is to save money and reduce my debts. I thought I would give you a little update.

This month I have done the following to save money:

Firstly Hubby and I had a good hard look at where our money is going every month. There were things that we coming out of our accounts that we don't even use and things we don't need, like satellite TV. We also identified areas where there we savings to be made such as changing phone companies and looking for better quotes. I have cancelled one payment so far and am in the process of working my way through cancelling/ changing others.
Identified that if we take out a different credit card that is offering 0% interest for the first year, we can save a heap of money on the interest. I have made my application and when the card arrives I will be immediately cutting it up to prevent further purchases.
Batch cooking, a monthly shop and avoiding going to the shops the rest of the time.
We have changed almost all drinks in our house down to water or milk. This is what is recommended for children anyway. No more juice boxes for school lunches, just reusable bottles of water. This has saved a small fortune when you have 5 people packing a lunch everyday...and healthier!
Continued to sell off things we do not need on ebay.

Things we have taken out of our lives this month:

We have not eaten out, bought a snack from a shop or ordered take out.
We have reduced our unnecessary car journeys. At the weekends I try to stay home if at all possible, and if we do need to go, try to do as many errands as possible in the one trip.
Reduced the amount we/ me are eating including limiting junk food in the house, not snacking after dinner and therefore not buying 'snack foods'. I do, however, buy more fruit as a compromise.
Have not bought any of us clothes, treats etc.

So far, I feel better, feel thinner and feel happier knowing I am in control of my finances.I have spent some money this month getting repairmen in to look at necessary repairs and have also spent a little money on paint etc to do up the house. I see that however as investing in our home and am a) being prudent with what I buy and b) feel I have time right now to address the issues in my home.

Apart from continuing all the good work above,theses are some of my goals to do in February:

To do some extensive ebay sales this month
Start walking- free exercise!
cancel more products, continue to look for more ways to save money.

Here's where I need you! What would you recommend that I am not already doing? Leave me comments!!

Allison xx

A Tale of Tiles, Mommy Style

2011-01-16T16:09:00.000Z

Well, last week I asked you whether I should paint my hideous fireplace or not. Responses were varied and some people offered some really great ideas of what to do. I really thought hard about it, and thought that at the moment I will leave it, as it is as once you paint it, you can't unpaint. I also can't afford right now to do what I really want to do with it, and there are plenty other projects I need to be getting on with, so thought I should focus my energies on those. Which, is what I did...

So last week was still Christmas vacation round here, Christmas and New Year were over, the decorations were down and all that fun stuff so I though this would be the perfect time to start one of the jobs I have not had time for.

Back in the summer, when we were going on a shopping trip to the 'big city' (around here that is somewhere where sheep do not wander the street, and there are stores that are bigger than your living room) I took measurements of all the areas in our house needing tiling and went to a discount tile shop and bought all the tiles. Initially I dreamed I would employ someone who knows how to tile to do this job, but funds did not allow for that. So, in September, a week before my Mom came to visit, I decided to tile the bathroom sink in the bathroom she would be using. I had bought beautiful glass mosaic tiles, in panels of 30cm by 30cm. I looked up an online tutorial and tiling seemed fairly simple (by the way if you are wondering where my husband was during all this, he is never here due to long work hours, and when he is, he does do stuff). I figured if I took my time, and was slow and careful it would be pretty good. And it was. Tiling with mosaic panels is really easy as they are attached at the back with a sort of hard netting that can be cut with a Stanley knife or a good pair of scissors. You also don't have to worry too much about matching them up as the panels already do that for you. I was very pleased with my achievement, so when this spare time on the holidays came up, I took it for granted the next tiling job would go as smoothly as the first.

This is Tiling job number 1:

This is the current debate as to which colour to paint the walls in this room (just as a matter of interest, if you have an opinion, please comment. My choice is the lightest one)

So with this new found enthusiasm and confidence, I decided it was time to tackle the small bathroom by the front door, with the tiles I had bought for it. These are the before pictures:

This is a mirror I made from driftwood I found at the beach...

My collection of Volkswagen/ surf stuff, doesn't every bathroom have this? ;)

Thought I would let you see the full room, even though it is just the area around the sink that was going to get done.

So off I started, again with mosaic tiles, this time though, a sand coloured stone mosaic tile, using the grout I had bought when I did the glass tiles. It looked mushy and fine to me but I suppose I am no tiler, as we know. So up went the tiles, taking my time to make sure each panel matched up to the next one.This was despite the five year old who decided I needed company and wanted help to create plans for a cookie and lemonade stand ( in the north of Scotland,in the countryside, in January) and the cat who would not leave me alone. As you can see, its not exactly a big room.

All was going well and then I realised I had run out of tile adhesive, so we had to go into town to get some more. By the time we got back, the unknown dried out tile adhesive had given way and my tiles were now hanging off the wall, and all over the floor. I then had to scrape the tile adhesive off the wall, put on new stuff and re stick. By now between the cat , the five year old, the trip into town, a now complaining ten and eleven year olds, let's just say my patience was beginning to wear a little thin and my 'take my time and do it right appraoch' had kind of gone out the window and the new 'let's just get them on the wall so I can start making dinner' approach had now taken over. I got them back on, but couldn't get them as straight as they had first been, but not so much it looks bad. I also got too much grout all over them when grouting (which by the way I tried to do while the adhesive had not dried to the wall-mistake number 2) and found it difficult to get off the excess grout- some steel wool cleared this up at a later stage. Grout also got on the wall this time and when I tried to take it off, it took off the paint as well-good thing the room needs painting.

This is the current stage of the bathroom we are at:

See my Mistakes?

OK, its not the best, and I am still tidying it up, but I did learn a lot.

My Tips for Mommy Tiling (I don't know if they go along with what professional tilers do, but it works for me and professional tilers don't have to entertain five year olds, have loud cats annoying them or have to stop and make dinner/ change loads of laundry or a hundred other distractions I have)

1. Even though it didn't work out this time, try and get peace and quiet to tile.Ask a friend and offer to return the favour. TRUST ME, this would have gone a whole lot easier if I didn't have someone whining "I'm hungry/ thirsty/ need help" in my ear, or in fact, sitting on my lap.

2. Take your time. I know you are saying 'what time?' but really, this is not a job you want to rush, you will pay for it in fixing it later on.

3. Use good tile adhesive/grout. You are already saving yourself the expense of paying someone to do this, use good materials. Don't make my mistake, tile adhesive should be sloppy, not like play doh.

4. Wait till your tile adhesive dries before grouting. And when you grout, focus on the grouting areas, not slapping it all over the tiles. You will have more to wipe off at the end. A little at a time, and wipe as you go.

Next job: painting this room. I am thinking about board and battening the rest of this room as I am planning on doing it to the hall outside this bathroom, What do YOU think?

Allison xx

Should it stay or Should it go?

2011-01-06T21:40:00.002Z

Okay, this post is a bit out in left field, but I think I am feeling the whole 'New Year-New Start' feeling.

In case you are new here, this is basically the situation I am in. Last June we bought a brand new house. Now, we didn't build it. A man who owned the farmland decided he could build a house on his own and then sell it on. He cut corners. He put some expensive features in that showed and some cheap where he thought people wouldn't notice. He took on jobs he probably shouldn't have, and although they were ok, they weren't great. Then he put the house on the market, and there it sat for THREE years.

Enter our family. Not a big budget, but a big family, with three boys, all growing, all the time. We needed a big house but not a huge price tag. I found this house and I loved the location, the style, the layout. I loved the expensive finishes, but am not naive enough not to notice all the areas he cut corners and was cheap or didn't do a job properly. Problem is, a house where it was all perfect would be too expensive for us, and if you had seen the state of the first house my husband and I ever bought when we first bought it, this was a dream in comparison. We didn't really have much to loose, especially in a buyers market. So we put in an offer (perhaps a slightly low one) and he accepted!

Now most of the house is a blank canvas. Every single wall was white when we moved in and the only room I have painted so far is the living room off the kichen (which I painted a colour called 'Toffee Apple'). This year as we are on a budget we can't do a lot of the big changes we want to do, but painting rooms and other little jobs should make the place more homely and also keep us on our budget.

One of the things I HATED when I viewed the house and since is the fireplace. Now, in an ideal world I would replace with the local and famous Caithness slate , like the slate at the bottom is,but right now that is not an option. So I am wondering...Should I paint it white? Do you think it would look better? My living room it is in is white walls, sand coloured curtains/blinds with teal touches in the room. It is meant to mimic the colours of the beach beside which we live. All the paintings in the room are of beaches we have being to.

What DO YOU think?

I think they look like horrible concrete stones, but oddly as there are touches of brushed silver in the room now, I find myself unsure of what I think. I need you help. Be honest. I will update with my decision, and if I paint I will definitely show you the 'Afters'!

Allison xx

Fantastic Chance to Win Moomin Mug and Cup Set (Europe only)

2011-01-04T11:17:00.000Z

Did you, like me, grow up with the Moomins TV program-y'know those cute little characters? This is a fantastic chance to win a Moomin mug and plate set from Cloudberry Living.

Follow this link to enter. Extra entries are given for liking on facebook, tweeting, mentioning on your blog etc.

Competition ends Jan 11, 2011, 6am (UK time)

Good Luck!!!

Allison xx

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T16:43:00.000Z

Image courtesy of knme.org

2011! A New Year and a New Decade...

Ten years ago I started the new decade and millennium with an nine month old baby and two months pregnant.Incidentally, I also started this decade with a bathtub full of water and an emergency cupboard as I was convinced all our power/water would go due to the Y2K fears! So much has happened in that ten years, we have moved 6 times, including living back in Canada for a year. My husband and I have both completely changed our careers, his new career resulted us being posted to where we are now, somewhere I never envisaged in my wildest dreams that I would end up living (although I love it now).
If you had told me all this ten years, I would have never believed you.

Which kind of makes me wonder what this decade has in store for us. To be honest, I don't even know what's going to happen this year, as I am currently waiting to see if I get into my post-grad and if I do, it will change our lives for a while...again...

Now, despite the chaos of things changing again and the not knowing what will happen, I guess it would be safe to say I enjoy it- otherwise why would we keep doing it? I like not knowing what's round the corner- its like a Xmas present you haven't opened yet-as long as it remains unopened it can be anything you want it to be.

If you make one resolution this new year, take my suggestion and don't fear change. Sometimes doing something you're not entirely sure of can have the most amazing results and take you places you never thought you'd end up- and generally not the places you'll anticipate you'll go. About nine years ago, my husband sat on my then toddlers bed on a sunny June afternoon and made a life changing decision to start saving and the process of moving to Canada. Over the course of the next four years that decision would lead us into a series of events that led us to living in the far remote north of Scotland and being happy to be here. Not the way I expected to turn out, but that leap of faith, led us to follow our hearts and realise how important it is to be open to change and taking a chance.

This year my big resolution will again be to open to change- and the opportunities await us if we are open to them.

Happy New Year 2011 and wishing you a wonderful year!

Allison xx

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T20:37:00.000Z

This is just a short post to say 'Merry Christmas' to everyone as I will be taking the next couple of days off to spend with my family and friends. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season, and take at least a small amount of time for a gesture of goodwill, be it popping in on an elderly neighbour, putting some money in a charity box, or even holding a door open for someone. 'Tis the season.

I will leave you some pics of our house at this time of year:

Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas

Allison xx

Christmas Reading List

2010-12-20T20:02:00.000Z

I suppose you could say a forever new years resolution coupled with being snowed in has made me decide that I am going to get down to some serious reading over the Christmas holidays. There is plenty else for me to be doing but the way I figure it I am owed some relaxation time and snowy dark days in the north of Scotland provide the perfect excuse.
As a child and teenager I read anything and everything, but now as a busy mother I find myself much more picky as to the books I read, thinking 'Am I willing to utilise what little spare time I have to read this?'. This makes me very discerning and to be honest, many, if not most books get cast aside. So, as far as my 'Winter Reading 2010' episode, much research has gone into what is going to be read. But I have narrowed it down and these are my choices, and recommendations for winter reading:

Any Human Heart by William Boyd

I am very excited about reading this book. It was recently on channel four as a four part adaptation. It had had very good reviews and I was keen to watch it. I have to admit the first part I was a bit apathetic to the character, and wasn't particularly interested in his life, but as the four parts progressed it became obvious that in a way, that was part and parcel of the story. Any Human Heart follows the life of Logan Montstuart, son of an affluent man who made his fortune in Corned Beef herds in Brazil. His story unfolds through his diaries, through school and university right up until old age. Like I said, it took me a while to grow to like the character, but then I realised at the beginning he is a immature university student without much depth, but as his life and circumstances change and mould him, you begin to empathise with him and his eternal questioning of how much we control in our lives and how much is down to luck and love. I am hoping the book with be further detailed than the TV adaptation and am very much looking forward to this.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

This is the first book in the famous Steig Larsson trilogy and to be honest, despite many friends reading it last summer and the movie coming out, I wasn't that interested. I don't know why, but I hadn't heard much about it and like I said before, I am quite particular about how I spend my spare time and if it doesn't have 'wow' appeal-it doesn't get a chance. That is, until I realised , when researching my upcoming vacation to Stockholm, Sweden, that much of the book is set there and there is even a 'Stieg Larssen' tour. Now, I thought, I don't really go all the way to Stockholm, not go on the tour, not having read the books, only in a year or two, to read the books/ watch the movie when it ends up on TV and curse myself for an opportunity missed. So I asked for the opinion of someone who read it and they have said they are a fantastic set of books, but the first four chapters are a little dry. If you can get though that, then you are in for a fantastic story. I have decided I will attempt the first one and we'll see how it goes. Stay tuned for future postings about how I got on....

What will you be reading this holiday season?
What would you recommend?

Allison x

Watching, Waiting, Wondering

2010-12-17T18:33:00.001Z

Image courtesy of Wisebread

Right now, my children are doing a lot of this. Sitting watching the Christmas tree, waiting and wondering what the man in the big red suit will be putting under there on Christmas eve night. There is much anticipation, excitement and patience (or impatience as the case may be!) going on here right now.
They are not the only ones, though. A couple of months ago I made a decision to apply to do my PGDE (Post-Graduate Diploma in Education). This would allow me to teach grades 1-7 rather than just Kindergarten/nursery as I currently do, and would also mean a significant pay rise. That in itself is causing wonder and waiting, but there is a bit more to the story.
Firstly, as you may be aware, we live in a very remote location as a result of my husband's job. That means the nearest location I can do this training is about 130 miles away. Secondly, this programme only takes on 10 people every year, and hundreds apply. If I do get in, This will involve me having to give up my job (and lose our second almost full time income) for a year and also do rather a lot of commuting back and forth, a round trip of 260miles(note: I would not be doing this every day-we have family that stay in this location and hubby works shifts so we would use a system of travel, using vacation time, staying down there on his days off, family etc to reduce travel-I am not totally insane).
Even if I don't get in this year, I will be applying again the year after, so hopefully at some point soon, this will become a reality. A reality at a significant cost to our family budget ,as like I mentioned, not only will we lose my 30 hour/week income, but also have additional(significant) travel costs/ extra babysitting costs etc to overcome. There are student loans available but I would rather not rely on them if I can avoid it and have decided that tightening our belts from the very beginning of 2011 would :
a/ do us no harm anyway, paying off debts, saving money is always good financial sense
b/ would enable us to save money for if/when I get in and
c/would get us used to living on less money when the times comes
All sounds great, but I need to think about what I can do to save money. We don't live an extravagant life anyway and our biggest 'luxury' is probably our travelling. This year we have planned one holiday, which is for 4 days only, just hubby and I, back to Sweden. We booked dirt cheap flights and are staying in a hostel. Finally all our old rubbish I have been putting on ebay, building up a sum for our spending money.Also, when I booked the dirt cheap flights you had to pay extra for suitcases, so we opted against them, reckoning we can put four days worth of clothes in the small carry on bag you are allowed. This will also prevent me from making too many purchases and double up as a saving money tool!
Apart from that, here are my other ideas for saving money so far:
1.Continue selling off all the things we don't need on ebay and also local sales sites. This should generate a nice little sum I can keep for travelling expenses when I lose that income.
2.This year I will not be buying new clothes for myself and hubby. We have more than enough. In fact, I have quite a lot 1-2 sizes too small. I am going to go on a diet, which should save money again(no snack foods!) and I will increase my wardrobe. I won't be buying much for the children either as luckily all the grandparents are very good at buying them a lot for their birthdays and they wear school uniforms during the week anyway so don't actually need that much. I will, however, buy them all some for their birthdays which I will pick up in advance in January/summer sales.
3. I have already in the last few months being working on reducing the monthly food budget. Starting January though, I am going to set a limit per month which should help reduce 'extras'.
4. I have also been looking at the way we live our life the last few months, where we spends our money, where we can reduce it. I will continue to do this, reduce unnecessary outgoings etc.

So Here's where I need your help. What can you recommend to save me money in 2011? Have you done anything that has saved you a whole bunch of money? Any tips-please please please tell me all your money saving secrets!What will you be doing to save money?

Wordless Wednesdays: Snow Day Activities

2010-12-08T19:05:00.001Z

In my dreams, I can give up my 'real' job and do something from home, like bake beautiful cookies for a living. Today I attempted to 'flood' ice my cookies for the first time today and it went..well! Okay, they don't look professional, but me and the kids not only enjoyed making them, but eating them too and hey, it passed time on another snow day, where we were beginning to run out of things to do.

Winter Wonderlands and Christmas Chaos

2010-12-02T18:29:00.004Z

This was the view from my mudroom earlier this week as yet another snowstorm blew in from Scandinavia.Beautiful, this week has really made it a marshmallow world! Having come from Canada, I am used to snow and cold temperatures, but living in rural conditions in the north of Scotland where our nearest shopping centre/ mall is 120 miles away( just to give you an idea of the remoteness of our location- although we do have several more than adequate shops in nearby Thurso-6miles and Wick-28miles)presents even more of a challenge when you have three small children to look after. Not to mention, the Christmas shopping.

In years past, since I have moved up here, I have gone 'down south' 120 miles or more to Inverness or 200 miles further to Glasgow to spend a weekend shopping. Writing this now, I really wonder what on earth I did that for. I think my logic was that it was weekend away and therefore combining the 'chore' of Christmas shopping with a relaxing weekend away, after leaving the kids at Granny and Grandad's en route. Relaxing, it was never. Let's be honest, no matter how enjoyable we visualise Christmas shopping being;it is not. It is an agonising, sweaty chore, hauling yourself through stores packed full of stuff and people, trying to find items that are for other people. Additionally, you spend time standing in shops debating over items and whether they would constitute good gifts for the people you know less well on your list.

Now working five days a week with a daily seventy mile round trip commute, I value my weekends more than ever and have a growing list of things to always be getting done then. Things,that I am too exhausted to complete during the week. The idea of taking a whole weekend of precious relaxing, catching up time to go on this epic journey of Christmas materialism filled me with dread,and decided a new, time saving approach would surely be better.

So this year I did all my Christmas shopping online, and without a doubt, it was blissful. After dinner over a few different nights, I sat down, cup of tea in hand and went onto my favourite shopping websites and looked for items. Now, having lived up here for several years I have to say I am a bit of an expert on online shopping and know where I can pay less postage, as companies sometimes hike up the price for our location.
Here are some of my top tips:

1. Try to combine as many presents into one purchase on one website at one time. Many websites charge one fee no matter how much you order. Others, will often take off the postage if you buy a certain amount. Amazon and TescoDirect both do this, and at Amazon, you only need to spend £15! That's 2 DVDs!

2. Find Websites that you can get everything for everyone from. The above are both good and my other favourite this Christmas has been the Marks and Spencer site. I have bought for all the kids on my list, bought hampers which I can send directly to friends and family and have also ordered their lovely biscuit tins for all those who need a little treat over Christmas-teachers, music teachers, childminders etc.

3. Remember to leave time for things to arrive. I usually start when I get paid at the end of October, do half then and the other half around payday at the end of November.I do the things I need to post overseas at the end of October and local ones for Nov. The cost doesn't seems so great then.

4. Keep things light that you are going to send. Consider gift vouchers, earrings, DVDs to post on. Another idea is to again use something like Amazon and their sister sites, such as amazon.com(US) and amazon.ca(CAN) where you can order gifts, have them gift wrap it and only pay local postage or none at all if over the mentioned minimum.Friends and Family can also set up wish lists on these sites. This is especially useful for family wanting to buy for your children, but don't know what they have or what they are interested in. You simply click on things you think they would like and add them to your wish basket(you can make notes on the side as to which child would like this) and then other parties who you let know the details of your basket can go on and choose what they would like to buy and again, pay local postage.This has proved to be very useful in our family as my family in Canada feel happy knowing they are buying a gift that the kids will like, and not having to pay an extortionate amount of postage.

5. Finally, relax. Christmas is about relaxing, enjoying your family and friends and being thankful for what we already have. Shopping online allows me more time to do things with my kids and enjoy the season. It also helps me spend less as I am not paying for parking, coffees, eating out on the day, and all the other impulse buys. Plus it affords me my sanity, which these days is my most precious commodity.

Allison xx

The Hardest thing...not being able to'Do it All'

2010-11-03T16:58:00.004Z

I don't think I am a competitive person. If you do well, I will happily applaud and if you are trying to do something you want, no matter who you are, I will try to help you and cheer you all the way to finish line.But I suppose you could say I am competitive with myself. I like to achieve- a WHOLE lot. I like doing things, making things, helping with things, getting involved. I have so much in my life I want do, to go to, to experience. Not only does a lot of this take time, it quite often takes money too. Luckily, I enjoy my work, so quite often, I work a lot. I love my kids, I like to spend time with them too, do the things they want to, take them to the activities they want to do, let them have experiences they will remember and learn from. That too takes time, and quite often (but not always) money too. Do you see a cycle developing here?

Usually I balance all these things fairly well and although I have to cut corners sometimes and not do everything, I recently was quite ill and came to the conclusion part of the reason I was ill was doing too much and needed to slow it down. Easier said than done, right?

Problem is,I really do. What do you give up? Most of the things in my life that I do, I love, or I wouldn't so enthusiastically do them. It took a lot of thinking and debating. But as I found out, when you are super ill, you have that time.

The decision I came to was giving up my Honours year of my degree. I was enjoying it, so it was a tearful decision, but the right one. I can't give up spending time with my kids, their activities etc(nor would I!) and I can't give up work, as I love my job, but also I need the money.
It sounds straight forward situation, but it was not so much the actual decision, but the fact I had to concede and say 'I can't manage everything'. I find that very hard, and I don't think I am alone.

Us mothers love to say yes. We love to help. We want to do things for our kids, our families, our friends, our community. Equally I want to be a success in my own right. I want to do well, achieve things and show my kids that being a mom is the end of my personality.

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? I remember when my oldest child was a baby I was very ill and had to give up breastfeeding- I felt guilty for months. Why??Okay, breast is best, but there was a medical reason, and formula kept him healthy and fed-there was no need to feel bad, but that's what we do isn't it?

After my great decision making and removing things from my life that were stressful, I feel so much better, and wonder why it was so hard in the first place. And the best bit? I have more time for my three favourite people: my kids.

Allison xx

Travelling with Children: The Good, the Bad and the Downright Ugly!

2010-08-15T21:06:00.005+01:00

"To Travel is to Live"- Hans Christian Anderson

-our cabin sailing from England to Denmark!

Travel is without a doubt, my most favourite thing. Travel allows us to see new places, learn about others, understand the world around us better, and gain new perspectives and a greater respect of other cultures. Someone once said that all travel is only joyful in retrospect, and I have to say that with children, it is easy for this to be the case, but not necessarily.Many friends of mine, who were once avid travellers, using every week off work to go somewhere,have had children, and now think it risque to venture to the local play park. You can see all the things both you and your children want to see on vacation, without it becoming all tears and tantrums (and that's just you!), it just takes a greater level of planning than it did in your pre-parent years.

The first time I ever travelled with my children was when my oldest son was two and half months, I took him by myself to Canada from Scotland. In actual fact these early journeys when he was a young baby is when travelling with children is at its easiest. Since that first journey, I have learned so much while travelling.

Change Your Expectations

You can have a fantastic trip with children in tow, but it is important from the outset that you come to understand it is not be to be the same kind of trip you would have had pre-kids. Think about where you are going and what your key priorities of what grown up activities you and your partner would like to do -if you could pick the two most important things you would like to do on this holiday, what are they? Will the kids like it, or would you be better splitting the group. For example, this summer, while in Denmark, there were numerous attractions I wanted to see all over Copenhagen, but we had limited time and my children will not have survived being trekked all over the city, as I would have perhaps done back in the day. The solution? We took a canal cruise thru the city where we got to see all the sights from a sitting position.The cruise was an hour, short enough the kids enjoyed a boat ride, and my husband and at least saw the outside of some the sights we would like to see. Later the same day, my husband wanted to see the National Gallery, which also has a fantastic children's museum inside. The result? Everyone got to do something they enjoyed.

-Copenhagen

Pit Stops are Crucial

Racing cars need frequent stops in order to keep up the memento, and so do kids (and Mums and Dads too!) Bathroom and Drinks/Food breaks need to be frequent, but not necessarily long. Every couple of hours we try to stop, even if its for 15-20 minutes, for a packed bottle of water/juice and a snack.This can stop meltdowns and dehydration in hot weather. While we are travelling around, if I see an opportunity of a decent bathroom, take it, and make sure everyone goes or gets a diaper change. This should stop emergency bathroom stops. In saying that however, in the middle of a Danish small town, my four year old announced he needed to pee NOW, with no bathroom in sight. In this emergency situation, I have to admit I took him behind a building where there was some bushes to sort the situation, but no harm done. These things happen.

Tired Tots are harder to Deal with

Don't let everyone get exhausted, because it will end in tears. Vacations do not need to be full paced action fun every minute of the day. Try to get kids to go to bed at a reasonable time, or let them sleep in the morning. If you have a busy day sight seeing, try to lower the pace the next day with just chilling out at the hotel/campsite/ beach the next. When we stayed at Legoland, we went first thing in the morning to avoid the crowds, then went back to the hotel about 1pm when it was chaotic in the park, and had lunch and a sleep and went back into he park about 4pm till about 8, when it had calmed down again. This system worked really well for both the kids and the chaos of a theme park.

Get a Little Time to Yourself

Some activities go better without children,such as shopping. When we venture into foreign cities, my husband and I have very different agendas in relation to shopping; I like clothes and house design, he like sports and rare music finds. We both want a little peace to enjoy what a new place has to offer. As a result, we take turns. I take the children off to a toy shop or play area while he looks, and vice versa. In the evenings, after putting the kids to bed we would enjoy a well deserved glass of wine/ beer on the deck of our cottage. It is possible to carve out a little time together, even with kids, and because you have had the joy of seeing them enjoying their holiday, these snippets of time will be truly valued.

More next week about travelling with children. We will be looking at camping. Can't wait to hear all your stories.

Allison xx

Holidays are over, Back to the Grind and a New Blogging Year!(PLUS Book Winner)

2010-08-11T16:33:00.006+01:00

Apologies for my long absense, but I have been away on a wonderful vacation, first for a week sharing a house with friends from the States and ireland in the Cairngorm Mountains of Scotland,pictured above, followed by two weeks travelling around and camping in Denmark and Sweden.Pure Bliss not to have to do all the day to day things, spend some money and eat too many 'bad for you things'!

But all good things come to an end and we are all back at home now, back to work and soon, back to school.

It may feel like I have been neglecting my blog as I was away,but I feel now that I have my head down again, I am ready to start the new school year with new ideas for my blog, thought up on the long car journey and lying on the beach.

I am looking forward to sharing with you my ideas and have a greater sense now of the direction this blog will take.

Finally for today, our book winner. After visiting random.org, our winner is comment number 1,Janet 'Grammy' Harrold. Janet I will be getting in touch and sending the book on its way to you. Margaret Barrett also has a page on facebook titled You and your disabled child, and would be most appreciative if you left a comment after you've read it for others to see if it would be useful to them.

Check back this weekend as I will be doing an article on Travelling with children, the good, the bad and the downright ugly!

Allison xx

Wordless Wednesday: A Taste of the countryside: Happy Cows!

2010-07-07T08:50:00.002+01:00

These are the happy cows in the field next to my new house, it looks like they are posing for the camera! It is so nice to be back living in the country. I never really adjusted to living in town and I feel so much more settled being out in open fields!

Please continue to leave your comments on my book giveaway page. The book is listed in my 'I recommend' amazon side bar widget, but is in american pricing, and in actual fact is far cheaper on the amazon.co.uk site. I think the UK price is approx £14.95 or thereabouts. Again, try winning it first as it is a fantastic book!

Off to go enjoy some country side sunshine! Have a great wednesday!

Allison xx

I'm Back!!! Book Review and Giveaway!

2010-07-03T17:22:00.006+01:00

Hello! It feels like such a long time, but I am moved and back online. Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts. Moving was the standard nightmare but it is nice to be in a bigger house and out in the countryside. Just what three growing boys need!

Now, I have not forgotten my blog during my time offline. Margaret Barrett, author of 'You and Your Disabled Child: A Practical guide for parents' was kind enough to send me a copy of her book to review, which I read during this time offline and no tv or phone!

Margaret has experience by the bucket loads.Originally training and working as an Additional Needs Teacher, Margaret went on to further her career in the field by undertaking further training in developmental education. During her career, Margaret has worked with children with a variety of disabilities, including those that have suffered brain injuries, and now runs her own consultancy, Developmental Intervention in South Wales.

It is apparent through this book that Margaret knows her stuff.You and your disabled child is an easy to read guide with a common sense approach that is accessible to all. It is written so that you can read what you want to, when you need to, and makes sense even if you don't read it cover to cover,an important feature for those parents who only have small snippets of free time!(Don't we all!!!) The chapters focus both on the needs of the parent(IE-headings such as; 'don't blame yourself', 'make time for yourselves', 'don't be afraid to ask for help'), the child ('teach your child to respect others', 'help your child explore his environment' 'recognise and avoid 'learned helplessness''.) and the family as a whole. All the issues considered are issues I have seen children and their families face, and all are relevant.

As a parent of a child with special needs, this book would have proved invaluable in those early days and beyond with practical advice aimed at those who may never have encountered the world of special needs and disability before.Margaret addresses the grief expressed by parents as they have lost the child they were expecting, and the guilt for feeling this way,to moving on in a pragmatic and useful way. As an early years practitioner whose career and studies have focused on working with children with special needs, I also thought many of the parents I work with would benefit from this book and will be recommending it to them.

Too many parents find out their child is disabled and focus their attention on treatments on the Internet too quickly,or wrap them in cotton wool when sometimes, a common sense approach is all that is needed. Margaret reminds parents, a child with a disability is a child first, and that this should be the parent's focus. Simple, but prudent advice.

As Margaret has kindly given me this book and I have read it , and already have a substantial collection of books from my studies, I thought I would give this copy away as it seems selfish to keep it, when others might benefit. I am going to keep this open until August 11 as I am away on holiday soon, and I want as many people to have the chance to enter. Feel free to enter if you yourself do not work with/ have a child with a disability but know someone who does, or you could donate it to your local library.

To enter, please leave a comment below and join my followers, either on facebook or google connect.If you already are a follower, you just need to leave a comment. Open to all, everywhere as would be beneficial no matter where you live.
Best of luck. Check in later this week, for wordless wednesday, and Fab Fridays-Something Scottish!

Allison xx

Winner & Still No Internet

2010-06-21T14:17:00.002+01:00

Hello!

I am still without internet which I have not posted a winner yet!Once I have service at my new house I will be up and running again, but in the meantime, I went on to www.random.org and typed in a number in response to enrty (1=1st entry etc etc) and it came up with number 3, Nicole!!! If you email me your address Nicole, the fudge will be on it way to you! More coming soon, such as a fantastic book review/ giveaway and more about Scotland!

Allison xx

Moving Nightmares

2010-06-12T12:32:00.002+01:00

Hello!
I thought I would just post a wee note to let everyone know we are in the midst of moving. We moved yesterday to our lovely new house but have no internet, no TV , no phone and no hot water as of yet. I will be periodically checking my blog this week at the library computers, but will not be updating the blog until I have access at home again. Please continue to enter the fudge contest as it is open until the 18th of June and hopefully it won't be too long until I am up and running again!!

Allisonxx

Fab Fridays: Something Scottish- Orkney: Crafts &A Giveway!

2010-06-04T13:48:00.016+01:00

Last week, we looked at an overview of the Orkney Isles. As I mentioned, Orkney is a mecca for crafts people and the arts, and when you travel to Kirkwall, the capital of Orkney, you are overwhelmed with the amount of handmade jewellery stores, crafts and food products, all produced in Orkney. Today I'll go over my two favourites: Sheila Fleet jewellery and Orkney Fudge.

Sheila Fleet jewellery(http://www.sheilafleet.co.uk) is a family run business on Orkney, with Sheila Fleet herself designing the jewellery. Sheila uses the unique landscape around her in Orkney to inspire her designs, and as a result, her jewellery is beautifully unique with an Orcadian/ Scandinavian feel to it. One of the unique features about her jewellery is the enamel colours they use in the pieces, which reflect the natural colours seen in Orkney. Most pieces can be personlised and ordered in the colours you want, gold or silver, diamonds or other stones. Last year I went to Orkney with my family and was able to go to their store in Kirkwall, and bought a silver 'new wave' ring. Their staff could not have been more helpful and spent time helping me choose the ring I wanted, or offering the chance to order and customise a ring. A year later my ring is still in fantastic condition, despite being worn all the time and was money well spent.

This is my ring, except mine has 'sea green' enamel and there are two fake diamonds in the curls at the top.Below is the gorgeous 'pebble' series necklace. This can also be done in a number of enamel colours, and also, gold.

The other product Orkney is famous for is....Fudge!All over the island, Orkney fudge is sold, in a variey of flavours and is mouth watering good. In keeping with the fudge theme, the dessert featured everywhere in Orkney is Orkney Fudge Cheesecake. I have includud a recipe for it below.

Now for my FIRST GIVEAWAY!!!!This is open to all, no matter where in the world you live, I will send it out to you. I have three packets of traditional Orkney Fudge to giveaway to a lucky winner.

How to Enter:
1. Become a follower of my blog. This can be via facebook, my facebook fan page, or google friend. For each way you are following me, you will get an additional entry

2.Leave a comment under this post, listing which ways you are following my blog, and what you would like to see on my blog in future

3. Winner will be drawn at random on 18th June, 2010. The winners name will be posted on the blog and will need to message me their address.

4. Good Luck!!!

Orkney Fudge Cheescake:
Ingredients
250g Hobnobs or other oaty biscuit, crushed
75g Butter, melted
200g Philadelphia cream cheese
250g Orkney Fudge (or tablet)
600m Double cream, lightly whipped

Method

Combine the biscuits and butter, press into the base of a lightly butter a 24cm springform cake tin.

Beat the cream until soft. Grate 200g of the fudge, add to cream cheese, combine gently and then gently fold in the cream.

Chop the remaining fudge and scatter over the biscuit base. Spoon the cream mixture over the top and cover with clingfilm. Chill for at least 6 hours. Carefully remove from the cake tin.

Can be eaten same day but better the day after!

(recipe coutesy of http://www.cake-baker.com/Orkney-Fudge-Cheesecake.html)

Allison xx

All opinions expressed are my own. I was not compensated or paid in any way by Sheila Fleet Jewellery or Robertson's Orkney Fudge. Thanks to Sheila Fleet for use if images. Orkney Fudge image is courtesy of google images. Fudge in the giveaway is from ARGOS Bakery, Strmoness, Orkney (I not compensated or paid by them either)And is yummy!

Autism: Review of Resources and websites

2010-06-02T19:07:00.005+01:00

This is my first review in a series of resources for parents of children with disabilities, and this week focuses on autism.I had actually prepared a vlog for this but was having difficulty loading it, so have opted for a written review instead.

There are two books I am going to review today.The first book is Autism: Explaining the Enigma by Uta Frith, featured above, and also in the amazon sidebar for my book recommendations. This is my favourite book in regards to Autism, and if you were to buy one book about Autism, this would be an excellent choice as you will return to it again and again. The great thing about it is a covers a variety of topics in regards to Autism, from stuff as a parent you want to know right away, such as how to manage behaviour, to things you can read when you have time, such as historical cases that may have been autism, myths about autism, to scientific research such as comparing MRI scans of people with autism, the MMR controversy, special diets etc. As a student I have returned to this book many times over other books and have not only found it useful, but Uta Frith, the academic who writes it, does so in an interesting and easy to read way. Definitely worth a look.

The second book is Parenting a Child with Special Needs, Edited by Bernadette Thomas, Cindy Dowling, and Neil Nicoll(pictured above). This book is also featured in my sidebar and is relatively inexpensive. 'Parenting a child with Special Needs' is not an informative book per se, but a collection of stories of people who have a child with a disability and their story. It is similar to the 'Chicken Soup' format. Chapters have titles such as 'Happiness', 'Grief' and 'Anger'. Personally, as a parent of a child with a disability I found this book reaffirming and an enjoyable uplifting read. I think it would be very beneficial for those who recently became parents of a child with a disability, or recently diagnosed.

There are also two websites that those with a child with Autism, or practitioners would also find useful. The first is the National Autistic Society website, http://www.nas.org.uk. Although this is a UK website, those in the in US/Canada will also find it useful as it gives plenty of advice on various parenting issues. There is also a section listed called 'Publications' which gives up to date info.

The second website is again, based in the UK, but relevant for all. It is the Joseph Rowntree foundation website at http://www.jrf.org.uk. This site carries a great deal of research about a variety of subjects, including Autism, and is well worth checking out.

Please comment on how you found this first review,any questions if you have used these resources and what you thought, or what you would like to see in future.

Allison xx

Thanks to amazon for the pictures used.

Monday Mingle-May 31st (Late, sorry!)

2010-06-01T13:35:00.004+01:00

Hello I am soooo sorry my Monday Mingle is late! Thanks again to eightymphmom for Monday Mingle. Moving is driving me crazy and is taking time away from my blog, but am trying to maintain it, but rest assured after the move, there will be lots more! Check out my autism review later this week! Allison xx

Fab Fridays: Something Scottish- Orkney

2010-05-28T11:00:00.015+01:00

Over the next few weeks, Fab Fridays is going to focus on the Orkney Islands.So, consider today a bit of an introduction!

The Orkney Islands are a group of about 70 islands located about 6 miles from the very north of Scotland. Personally, my current house is 200 yards from the sea in the north and I can see Orkney (as it is locally referred to) from my living room window!

Despite its very northerly location, Orkney is very 'green' and temperatures are moderate.

History on Orkney can be traced back over 6000 years and there are sites on Orkney that still exist such as Ring of Brodgar(featured above, the picture of standing stones) and Skara Brae(more in depth another day)

For hundreds of years Orkney was owned by Norway, and this is reflected both in local dialect and also place names. In fact, the people of Orkney consider themselves as being 'Orcadian' rather than Scottish!

In more recent times, Orkney was the birthplace and home of John Rae, who became famous after going out to search for Franklin's party who had disappeared looking for the Northwest passage, found them(dead), and then went on to discover the Northwest passage. He is entombed in St. Magnus Cathedral in Kirkwall, the capital of the Orkney Islands.

Orkney is also home to 'Scapa Flow' , a shallow bay where the allied forces secretly hid the Atlantic fleet during WW II, from the Germans. At one point a German submarine managed to get into Scapa Flow, but only managed to sink one ship!

Orkney is a vibrant place where many artists and craftspeople have now congregated and as a result, there are some beautiful products coming out of Orkney at the moment.More about that next week.

Thanks to http://visitorkney.com for some of the information. This is also a great site for more information if you have time to visit.

'Ring of Brodgar' Image is from 'Hello, I'm Bruce'at Flickr.com
All other images from google images.

Wordless Wednesday: Purdy Flowers & A grumpy cat

2010-05-26T14:18:00.011+01:00

It is a rainy, windy day here in Scotland and I thought about taking pics today but they wouldn't be very nice, unless you want to look at wet sheep!

So here are some pretty flowers from my in-laws garden I took a couple of weeks ago and my grumpy one eyed cat called Stooky, enjoying the sun!

Monday Mingle-May 24th

2010-05-24T13:12:00.005+01:00

Hi All- My second Monday Mingle! Thanks again to Jennifer over at http://www.eightymphmom.com for organising this. Head on over there to see others people's answers! If you want to check out Orla Kiely who I talk about in the vlog, her webite ishttp://www.orlakiely.com. I will be vlogging later this week about resources for parents of children with autism and also includes some general information for children with additional needs. Still need moving tips for an upcoming item! Post to the moving article please:) Allison xx

Autism: a view through my eyes...

2010-05-22T22:15:00.006+01:00

So, if you have been following my blog you will be aware I just finished my BA and am beginning my new job as a Nursery Nurse this autumn, which I am so excited about as early years is my favourite age to work with.

On a personal and professional level, my other interest is working with children with disabilities, primarily children with Autism. Much of the essays and projects I have done throughout university focused on Autism, and my aim is for my dissertation is to be on Autism and Behaviour Modification (more about that at a later date).

Today is an introduction to Autism through my eyes. Please remember I am not an expert (maybe one day!) and therefore any opinions I express are entirely my own. If you think your child is autistic or know they are, and need help with any aspect of their care, you need to consult a professional. Whew!
That said we can begin.

If I was to explain Autism to you scientifically, I would be here all day and chances are, if you are here because you have an interest in Autism and /or a child with autism, you know it all already. If not, here’s the short version.

Autism is a neurological condition that affects around 1 in 100/150 children in the western world. It impacts on social behaviours, communication and imagination. Some children have what is called ‘acquired autism’ which is as a result of something else that has caused brain injury; they have ‘acquired’ autistic traits. This makes up about 10% of cases, which are children who have had brain bleeds, tuberous sclerosis or other conditions. The other 90% of cases no one knows (the big scientific word for ‘unknown’ is idiopathic- such as the reason there are crayons in my dishwasher is idiopathic). Autism is also referred to Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD) due to the wide variation of characteristics that those affected have. Scientists have juggled around genetic aspects, environmental aspects, looking for causes and they have had some results, but truthfully, nothing that strikes right across the board (so far…).

The characteristics and symptoms vary between individuals, but all individuals display three main behaviour characteristics in order to be diagnosed as ‘Autistic’. These are:
• Abnormal social skills/ difficulty with relationships,
• Failure to develop ‘normal’ communication
• Behaviours that are restricted and/or repetitive, or obsessive.

These are just very broad headings. The amount of behaviours covered within these is vast. Again, I could write a book on this section alone.

So far, it all sounds pretty grim. It’s not. I cannot express the enjoyment, the laughs(ALWAYS with them, not at them) and happiness I have enjoyed while working with both adults and children with autism, That’s not to say there hasn’t been hard work, or frustration (no doubt on both sides).

There is an old saying I have heard, something along the lines of ‘walk a mile in a man’s shoes before you judge him” In my life I make a policy of trying to do this. When I think about the children I work with I think about what it would be like being a new kid at school where no one speak the same language as you. You can hear them, but you don’t understand them. You aren’t being awkward, you aren’t being annoying because you also have things you want to share but you can’t make them understand either. To me, that is Autism.

I see so many good qualities in the children with autism that I work with. Why must we always dwell on the bad things about the condition? Honesty, oh they are so honest. Once a child I had not seen in a while, asked me why I now had spots on my face; they thought I looked prettier before! A lot of children with Autism also like going up and introducing themselves to anyone and everyone. Too often, we find ourselves telling these children this is not socially acceptable behaviour, that we need to hold more back, be less honest, be shyer. Yes, we need to do it, but I do wonder about what we are saying. Be honest, but don’t be too honest, be outgoing, but don’t be too outgoing-sometimes I think it’s no wonder they are confused as to what is acceptable-I’m not sure I do!

Like I said, I am not going to bore you with all the scientific evidence, although if anyone is interested, I can send a list of articles of interest by email. Over the next few weeks I would like to explore different issues surrounding Autism, and feel free to comment and help guide me with what you would like to see. I am also going to be vlogging later this week regarding Autism resources.

Allison xx