Hikayat Skuter Hijau...

Night Cravings

2012-01-07T20:13:00.004Z

Having owned my Vespa for almost five years or so, I can safely come to the conclusion that the Vespa gets better when things around it get worse.

The scooter laps up emergency road closures, inexplicable new one-way systems, dodgy tragfic lights and even flash floods with relative ease. So, when it came to choosing which mode of transport was best (I've got a choice of three these days) to get to the nearest kebab place in the middle of a winter night, the Green Vespa was the obvious choice.

Mmmm...Who would've thought that some spicy garlic cheese fries could taste so good?

Can We Stop Talking About Alfie Already?

2012-01-04T10:59:00.000Z

Years ago in tropical, smoggy Malaysia, as soon as I mentioned that I intended to further my studies in Dublin, the general response would have been between:

Isn't that place that's in the middle of a civil war and bombs go off every now and again? Isn't it? Why the hell are you going there then?
Where? Wha?

As news about the island of Ireland would only filter to Malaysia rather slowly (remember, this was a time before Facebook, Tweeter, YouTube and the like), the first reaction would be relatively understandable. Plus, most of them were actually genuinely concerned about my safety and wellbeing so, I'd take some effort to give them an update on the situation in Ireland and assure them that I'd be safe for the duration of my stay.

As for the second response, I might as well have named a small village east of Timbuktu. So, to help resolve matters, I'd normally just say near London to which I'd get a long Oooooh reply in the affimative. Sorted.

More recently though, the two classic responses would normally be replaced with the fiscally-related:

Have you still go a a job there, ah? Wah...that place is in some real deep shit lah. You OK ka?

Or...with relatives and friends more used to reading Harian Metro and Utusan Malaysia rather than errr...any other proper news source, there can be only ONE response:

Wah...that's the place where that gay Malay dude got married his to his Mat Salleh husband kan? Eh, you must know him lah?

No, I don't know the now infamous/famous (whichever way you like to look at it) Ariff Alfian Rosli who armed with a tanjak has single-handedly changed Malaysia's view of Ireland. Congratulations for putting Ireland on the map Alfie! Tourism Malaysia and Tourism Ireland should give this man a medal for all the publicity work he's done for both countries.

There were mixed reactions to Alfie's treatment in the
Malaysian press.
Liverpool's defeat against City could have been a contributing factor

Now, I'll stop writing about Alfie and let you enjoy the totally not gay pics of a couple (did I say couple?) of Dublin-based guys just out having fun...

Apparently, some feel that Alfie looks quite macho

Another random couple on their travels

Luis Suarez: Balancing the Probabilities

2012-01-01T20:40:00.001Z

It's hard work being a Liverpool supporter these days. During the Benitez era, most of us were forced to take crash courses in the merits of posession/pressing football and zonal marking. Well, at least the ones who actually bothered defending the Liverpool manager against the seemingly countless bumbling buffoons schooled in football by the likes of Andy Gray and Richard Keys.

The knowledge proved beneficial when gauging the Spaniard's replacement. It made it easy to see that Roy Hodgson was clearly out of his depth, even if the press and the LMA were telling us the exact opposite. Give him more time, eh? Bah...

Then, as the club was dragged through the courts and financial circles by Hicks and Gillet, we again had to don our thinking caps and devour all the legal/financial mumbo-jumbo just so we could better understand what was happening with our beloved LFC.

If anything else, the whole farce makes us appreciate John Henry and what he has done for the club to date.

Now, just as things appear to have calmed down a bit, Liverpool supporters are once again faced with the prospect of getting out their reading glasses, highlighters and digging out the number of their nearest lawyer friend or relative.

On New Year's eve, the FA issued their much awaited full written statement explaining the reasons as to how and why Luis Suarez was charged with using abusive language towards Patrice Evra.

Although not a court of law, the burden of providing proof of the alleged offence still remained with the FA's Commission and Suarez's accusers. In this case, all they needed to do (according to the FA's own rules) was to prove that there there was a probability that Suarez actually commited the alleged offence. Probable, that's all.

The problem with this is firstly, the Commission didn't need to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Suarez actually used abusive language, just probably did it and secondly, it falls foul of the FA's own rules on the matter. The written statement itself asserts that the FA and Commission agree that Suarez's alleged offence was a serious matter and on that basis, warrants a greater burden of evidence. Yet, this doesn't seem to have been the case when the Commission concluded that Suarez actually did commit the alleged offence. No real evidence. Just one man's word against another and a whole host of probabilities.

It gets even more interesting when looking at the facts. The report appears quick to point out that language experts were used in making the decision. Although I'm no expert on language experts and therefore don't have any evidence to the contrary, I just find it strange that both experts utilised are affiliated with the University of Manchester. Both. Manchester. As is in Manchester United. But hey, there's also Manchester City...?

I'm not saying that the two experts aren't totally independent and free from bias but isn't there a probability that they aren't to start off with. Surely, these two can't be the only South American Castellano Spanish language experts in the whole of England?

And then, there's the evidence itself. Although it's made out to be a clear conclusion from the experts (by the Commission and the media), when one reads the report in detail, it's clear that their findings are itself based on assumptions and again, probabilities.

Then, there's the fact that not one other United player heard Suarez using racially abusive language towards Evra especially when video evidence showed that the likes of David De Gea (clearly a native Spanish speaker who would've understood what was being said) was only an earshot away from where one of the alleged incidents happened. Was this seriously taken into account?

Probably not.

As a result, Luis Suarez remains guilty of an offence he probably did commit. Or was that probably not?

I Remember Why I Do Not Go to Xmas Parties

2011-12-29T23:13:00.001Z

December. As well as being the (politically correct) Holiday Season, it's also the season of endless partying.

I've got nothing against partying. In fact, I do enjoy the odd party now and again but when it comes to partying around this time of the year, I'd rather stay at home and keep as warm as I can.

Why?

Here's a couple of reasons:

1. The weather
Cold, icy, frosty and snowy weather isn't actually party-friendly weather. Whatever destination you're headed to, it's normally not worth risking life and limb to get to. The summer was made for partying, not late December.

2. The people
Nothing wrong with people in general. It's just the ones you do your utmost to avoid at work seem to be the ones that you end up being stuck with whenever the party/dinner/drinks come along.

3. The food
Being Malaysian, this particular item would naturally come way at the top of any party. Unfortunately, around these parts, it's more of an afterthought. And, if you're like me and more often than not would have to opt for the vegetarian option then, things get even worse on the food front. The vegetarian fare at Xmas parties normally consist of some spare roasted spuds, mashed carrots, boiled garlic cloves or some sloppy pasta, straight out of the can.

4. The tux
Now this might not apply to everyone particularly the girls but year on year, I cringe at reading 'Black Tie' written on the Xmas party invite. OK, I completely understand when the ladies go through all the effort of getting their hair done, their tan on and their bodily hair waxed off. In the end, they actually look better. Well, most of them. For the dudes though, the same doesn't apply. Yes, we don't fork out as much but the fact remains that guys spend a load of money just to look like they belong on the set of Happy Feet (or even worse, a horrible parody of 007 himself - yes, I'm talking to you dude in the white velvet tux).

I hope I'll remember this lengthy note-to-self to remind me whenever I feel the need to blend-in and sign-up for next year's round of parties.

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A Different Kind of Journey

2011-12-08T13:21:00.000Z

Normally, I'd merely go through Phoenix Park on my way to work. On the Vespa, the 5 miles or so to get to the park from home is effortless and depending on traffic, would take anything between 5 minutes and 15 minutes. Not actually a long journey by any standard but, it's a little bit different when you throw away the old 2-stroke engine and replace the pressed steel frame with what basically is two wheels stuck onto a couple of aluminium tubes welded together.

Yes, on one cloudy and mild Saturday morning, a friend of mine and I set off on a bicyle journey. At first, we weren't sure of our destination. All we had in mind was to do as many miles as we could within the hour or so that we had that morning. Fed up with going around Blanchardstown, I came up with the idea of cycling all the way to Phoenix Park.

My cycling buddy (let's call him Sam) looked at me in disbelief.

Both of us had only recently started cycling as a way of getting some exercise. Football was out of the question as we didn't have enough numbers among our circle of friends to get a decent five-a-side game going. Not on a regular basis anyway. Plus, the last time we experimented with expanding the circle, it went horribly wrong. All this of course ignores the fact I'm totally crap at football anyway. So, we turned to cycling.

Sam was still staring at me as if I had just suggested that we compete in the Giro d'Italia or something.

I know a short cut...

I tried to reassure him with my local knowledge and after a moment deliberating on the best (read shortest and least hilly) route, we were on our way.

Next objective: Dublin City Centre!

Now Here's An Idea for a Paint Job: The Harimau Malaya Vespa

2011-12-02T11:00:00.000Z

The Vespa LX150 was done up by Piaggio's Malaysian distributors Naza Primera with the aim of latching onto the wave of excitement around the Malaysian football team's recent achievements.

All well and good (and very bipartisan which makes good business sense) but then the distributor apparently went and ruined all the good reputation it gained from the Harimau Malaya Vespa by doing a follow-up which is not the greatest of ideas, to say the least.

I've accepted the fact that riding a Vespa leaves me open to being labeled or associated with mods, skindheads, hipsters, crazy-dude-who-thinks-he's-in-sunny-Italy and what not. All of which I'm fine with (to an extent) but now thanks to Naza Primera, I might also run the risk of being identified as an UMNO goon and that is something I'd want to steer clear off. Maybe Naza Primera could gain from this major marketing cock-up - they could end up selling Vespa-branded hi-viz vests with Not an UMNO Member printed as big as possible on the back and front so that no one, absolutely no one can mistake a normal dude enjoying his ride on his Vespa as a member of ~~the extremely evil Lord Vader's 501st Legion~~ UMNO.

Pics nicked from the Star Online, Ammboi Dot Com and the Malay Mail Online

Radio Killed the Video Star

2011-11-20T22:55:00.000Z

On a day when three former Liverpool players in the Chelsea squad looked more likely to score (well, at least on paper) against their former employer, it was ironically, the single former Chelsea player in red who settled things at the Bridge this evening.

This fixture a few seasons ago would have been akin to watching a mind-numbing game of chess with both sides trying their utmost to choke their respective opponents to a premature footballing death. The underlying principle behind both teams being something along the lines of, if the other team can't score, we can't be beaten.

None of that today though. Today, it was as if both Dalglish and Villas-Boas were intent on outscoring each other on the pitch. The result of that was unsurprisingly, the most exciting Chelsea-Liverpool game in ages.

And, the other ironic thing about it is, I didn't get to watch a single live minute of the match. Yes, I followed the whole thing live but without an expensive cable subscription or a decent computer (my old laptop officially died a few weeks ago which also explains my recent blogging hiatus), I had to resort to different means of following Liverpool - good old radio.

Thanks to BBC 5 Live an a random radio app that popped up on the App Store, I managed to hear every minute of the match without any sudden crashes or suffer lengthy waits while the streaming thing buffers. It feels awkward but nice at the same time. Sort of like reading a book where you'd have to picture what you're reading. Not bad I suppose as a last option.

The Pedestrian Strikes Back

2011-11-18T14:13:00.001Z

Finally, some common sense from those in authority on all things road and traffic related.

Road safety campaigns have always focused on car drivers and motorcyclists but seldom (or is that never?) on cyclists. So, it was about time something like this popped up. If anything else, it in a way justifies all my rants towards the growing number of annoying and increasingly dangerous cyclists. Better late than never.

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The Number 46

2011-11-16T13:54:00.001Z

To many, the number 46 has different meanings. When I was young, it meant that my father couldn't sell off our banger of a Peugeot 504 and replace it with something that would better suit our growing family. We initially thought that it was the fugly ochre paint job but after speaking to some of our more superstitious Chinese neighbours, we were reliaby informed that it was the car's number plates that was the problem.

Apparently, the number 4 equates to death and the number 6 was something unfortunate like a worm or snake. Combine the two together you get roadkill or Death Snake or Worm of Death. Completely fine if you're a hairy biker looking for your next terrifying ride but for a family saloon in Malaysia, the car was as good as scrap metal. To make things worse, my Dad's car had the number 46 on the plates not once but twice. Death Worm. Death Worm. Dammit...

Anyway, other than killing a few chickens and a cow, the old car served us well until Daddy finally found someone desperate enough to take the car off him, a good 15 years later. By then, I was in my teens and the number 46 meant something different altogether. Election posters with Tunku Abdul Rahman's picture (in his iconic Merdeka pose) started to appear everywhere I went. There was political upheaval in Malaysia and Semangat 46 (or Spirit of 46 Malay Party) was the era's Keadlian (People's Justice Party). Being in my early teens, I didn't have a clue as to what was going on. All I wanted to do was grab some of the campaign flags and turn them into a cape or two for my superhero costumes. And, that was the end of that.

Fast forward another decade or so and the number 46 made a re-appearance. Coincidentally, it came in the familiar colour of yellow (the same as the now defunct Semangat 46) but instead of being seen on posters across town, they appeared on the backs of numerous motorcyclists in Malaysia - all wanting to be like Moto GP sensation Valentino Rossi.

That was then. A couple of weeks ago, the number 46 took on a new meaning. Well, a new-ish meaning as Piaggio unveiled their Vespa Quarantasei (that's how you pronounce 46 in Italian) retro concept scooter.

Finally, after years of mucking about with half-baked attempts like the ET autos, LXs and to an extent the new GTs, Piaggio have finally upped their game and come out with an original idea. From the pictures that are now widely available on the web, it's quite clear that Piaggio have gone back to its roots (hence the reference to 46 being the year the first Vespa was born) and taken on board loads of functional design cues from the scooter tuning community.

As examples, the two-seater that looks like an old-style Vespa single seat configuration is definitely a standout while the curved front mudguard to accomodate the front shock looks like it came straight out of a German tuners head.

All that's needed now is for Piaggio to throw in a 200cc engine into it and actually make the damn thing.

If There Was Ever Any Doubt

2011-11-09T15:57:00.000Z

How bold of me to ever question Ireland's finest weather forecasters? They said we should expect freezing temperatures at the end of October/early November but all that ever appeared was torrential rain followed by flash floods and then some unusually mild weather (for November that is). No frost and snow was a no show.

Until last weekend that is. I woke up to a bright and sunny morning ready to head into town to join in the Eid celebrations at Malaysia Hall. As usual, it was a mad rush to get everything ready but when we eventually got out of the house, we were greeted by a frozen car. The frost that clung to the car wasn't actually the type you could easily melt away as soon as the car's blow heater was switched on. No, this was a more hardcore variant of frost that required a good bit of scraping and a decent amount of elbow grease to get rid of.

Thankfully, things have gotten a bit milder since then but still, it was a good reminder for what was to come. There was no doubt about that now.

The Halloween Horror Show That Never Was

2011-10-30T20:14:00.001Z

After a week or so (some might say SIX plus ONE days) of making life a living hell for some of my misguided friends, colleagues and acquaintences (plus the odd random dude), it was time for the wheel of (mis)fortune that is the Premier League to turn yet again.

As a Liverpool fan, I am well aware that karma hasn't actually been on our side of late. Yes, we get lucky enough to sign a master tactician of a manager and almost immediately after tasting the miraculous joy of Istanbul, we're sent to the depths of footballing abyss thanks to the previous American owners. Now, we're back afloat again although still no where close to where we'd like to be.

So, prudence was a key skill to survive the weekend especially since there was a visit to The Hawthorns who just happen to have a former Liverpool manager organising things.

The vultures (or should I say Devils) were hanging around looking to pounce on news of a conceded goal or even worse, dropped points. Anything really to re-gain a bit of lost pride while at the same time, inflict some pain on their bitter rivals.

Thankfully, that never happened and Liverpool walked away with three points, two goals and nothing conceded.

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The Night Dublin Stood Still

2011-10-26T14:28:00.001+01:00

A whole month's amount of rain fell on Dublin on Monday night. A whole month. In a night.

Roads turned into rivers as Dublin's rush hour traffic was brought to a standstill. Yours truly on the other hand, isn't in the business of hanging around inhaling toxic fumes from all the cars. Sure, I was soaked to the bone on my old Vespa but at least I was moving along which on Monday night wasn't just a simple task of filtering through traffic.

At certain stages of the journey, I certainly felt that I was on some sort of extreme adventure scooter challenge involving riding a half-submerged Vespa in and out of gushing water, climbing up footpaths and navigating through layers of wet leaves so slippery I might have as well have been riding on frozen lake. Oh, and did I mention that this was all done while I was blind-folded.

OK, not exactly blind-folded but it certainly felt like that with a constantly fogging up helmet and the incessant rain pelting directly into my eyeballs.

As horrible as that might sound to some, I wouldn't have it any other way though.

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Louis Vuitton Lid

2011-10-24T12:24:00.002+01:00

Nope the recession isn't over just yet and the picture below isn't suggesting that I'm off on a shopping spree buying all the designer goods that I can get my hands on.

It's just a good spot to park my Vespa when I'm in the Grafton Street area.

Normally, I'd park the scooter there and walk away without even noticing the items on display in Louis Vuitton preferring to look across the street where Tower Records is located instead or head towards the ATM a few feet away. Actually, I try to avoid that particular ATM if I can as it constantly smells as if someone's taken a leak around it on a regular basis. Maybe there's some sort of pee-for-cash scheme going on here that I'm not aware of. Hmmm...

Anyway, while stopping by to get some winter essential gear for the kids, I couldn't help but notice the item that was on display in the designer store's window.

A Louis Vuitton motorcycle helmet.

I didn't bother asking whether it was really for sale or was it just for display purposes. Even if it was for sale and there wasn't a recession going on, I still wouldn't be caught dead in the thing.

Some might think otherwise.

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The (Not So) Friendly Derby

2011-10-18T16:42:00.002+01:00

Most of us are well aware of the Friendly Derby. Although matters on the pitch are far from friendly, it makes the casual observer wonder why in the world the Merseyside derby is given the Friendly label. Look a little closer and you'll realise that it's the fans that give rise to the derby's name.

Football fans in blue shirts mingle freely with their counterparts in red be it at Anfield or across Stanley Park at Goodison. As far as I know this happens no where else in the football world. Yes, other football clubs might have sets of fans where the father supports one club while the son supports their cross-city rivals. The same goes with brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles and the best of friends - all separated because of their differing choice of football club. It's a normal enough situation worldwide but it's only in Liverpool that one can see the two sets of fans mingle almost freely on match day.

It doesn't mean the rivalry is of a lesser grade though. Far from it, the familiarity and closeness with the other side is what makes the pain of defeat so much harder to take.

So, what about the non-Merseyside based Liverpool fan?

The same applies but with a key difference - the taunts come from those in red shirts too. Not from down the East Lancs but from faraway places like Malaysia, Indonesia, Nigeria, Japan, etc. where like on Merseyside, fans from the other side can be those close to you.

And, the rivalry in this case is seldom friendly.

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Admiral Ackbar Says...

2011-10-12T21:31:00.002+01:00

It's a trap!

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Dawn of A New Age

2011-10-10T21:07:00.000+01:00

A new addition to the stable. And no, its not a scooter. I consider it a "performance upgrade" for the average, slightly "big-boned" scooter enthusiast.

I have to say, the improvement in performance won't be apparent in the short-term so we'll have to wait a little while longer before any conclusions are made.

In the meantime, I'm delighted to grab every opportunity I get to re-live my childhood years.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Steve Jobs Wasn't Known To Be Into Scooters But...

2011-10-08T19:18:00.002+01:00

At least he made technology work for us normal human beings as opposed to the other way around.

To prove my point, here's something that my iPhone conjured up (with a bit of help from WordFoto) within a couple of minutes.

Not bad I suppose given that I have zero artistic ability.

Ingenuity, Born of Necessity (and the Threat of Utter Boredom)

2011-10-06T21:53:00.001+01:00

I sensed that all was not well as soon as I kick-started my Vespa that Monday morning. The engine sounded a bit rough but I pulled the throttle anyway and proceeded to head into work. Less than 5 minutes later, while stopping at a set of lights, the engine cut out. I initially thought that it was my mistake - releasing the clutch too early while the Vespa was still in gear or something. So, I gave it another kick , made sure to give it a mighty rev and assumed things would be back to normal.

My solution didn't work and I knew then that I was in trouble.

Having had the Vespa for a while now, I knew to check for the regular culprit first i.e. dirty carburetor. Obviously, no amount of kicking would resolve the problem there and then. So, I pulled the Vespa aside and at the first chance that came along, I pushed the Vespa to the other side of the road into a nearby hotel car park. At least in the car park I'd have a bit of privacy while I inspect the Vespa's internal organs.

It was then that I realised that I had my work clothes on. Nothing fancy but still, I didn't want to get them all sweaty and greasy that morning. I reached for the contents of my jacket's inner pocket and gave the recovery service a call. I was 5 minutes away from home but, the service was free and I was hell-bent on getting some of my insurance money back that morning.

That plan didn't work either.

Seemingly, the recovery service was so busy that morning, it would take about 3 hours before they could get a van out to where I was. Not wanting to risk dying of boredom in an an empty car park in the middle of practically nowhere, I decided to have a go at the thing right then.

To cut a long story short, after some fiddling around with the carb and experimenting with the choke, I managed to get the Vespa safely home. Oh, and that includes cutting out about three times along the way as well as probably doing less legal things at a few traffic lights.

Definitely better than hanging around doing nothing for around three hours.

Analogue Time Travel Makes Bold Bloggers

2011-10-04T13:25:00.000+01:00

This happens to me all the time and by that I don't mean that I'm some sort of Marty McFly driving around in a souped-up DeLorean nor am I genetically prepositioned to randomly jump butt-naked in time.

That's all too complicated for me. No, for me, all that's needed is my dear old watch and a month that doesn't have a 31st day that ideally, comes around a weekend when I'm away from the laptop and calendars becoming somewhat detached from time and dates.

Put simply, I don't notice that the second day of the month stays as the first day and the third day of the month is frozen in second and so forth. And so today, on the fourth day of the month (the watch still says that it's the 3rd of October), I start writing my first entry of the month...

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Lies, Damn Lies and Myth-Busting Documentaries

2011-09-30T23:01:00.000+01:00

I happen to come across this NY Times blog entry while looking out for news on th Vespa. The blog's title was an immediate eye-catcher sheerly because it didn't make sense. Surely the bike is far greener than the car?

Well, seemingly not. According to Mythbusters, bikes (and I assume scooters like the Vespa are included in this) are actually more detrimental to the environment than cars. Yes, according to their seemingly accurate, scientifically obtained data, although cars are obviously the more fuel-thirsty of the modes of transport, the bike actually causes more of a problem by producing a larger amount of noxious pollutants.

Myth, busted. Yay!

There you go. All those fools (yours truly included) riding around on their bikes and scooters in the cold and wet thinking they're doing their bit for the environment have actually been duped into believing an urban myth. But still, it didn't make sense.

So, I decided to apply a bit of logic using my own commute to work. I normally ride to work on my old PX125. Being a 2-stroke contraption, this Vespa definitely won't win any environmental awards. You don't need fancy emissions equipment and a white coat to realise that what's coming out the Sito Plus isn't actually noxious - you can actually smell it. Ah yes, nothing's more refreshing than the whiff of 2-stroke early in the morning, for about half an hour or so.

Half an hour?

Yes, half an hour and on a bad day, maybe 45 minutes. But, what if I drove? Based on previous experience, in rush hour traffic on a normal school day, it would take me at least an extra hour to get from the suburban Dublin into the city centre. Did the guys at Mythbusters take this into account? Wouldn't the extra hour of being stuck in traffic produce more pollutants from the cat? Yes? No?

I haven't watched the whole episode yet but I suspect this very basic but fundamental fact could've been conveniently ignored.

It doesn't make a difference to me though. I'd still prefer my Vespa any day over my shitty car.

The Best Day of the Year

2011-09-28T23:07:00.018+01:00

...and I'm stuck at work followed by a PTA meeting that most probably won't finish until very late in the evening. Yes, after a non-existent summer, this day, the 28th of September is the first proper summer day of the year. And, I can't get out and enjoy it.

Why?

But Ireland is a weird old place. Earlier this month, there were reports that it would actually snow in October. October!

Hard to believe when I look out the window and feel the warm(?) autumn breeze in my face while just above all the city centre office blocks, a cloudless blue sky.

Twenty Years Ago

2011-09-26T23:31:00.002+01:00

Twenty years? I can't believe twenty years have gone by since the height of grunge, teen angst and all.

I still can't play the drums like Dave Grohl, never actually grew my hair long like Kurt Cobain but hell, I still remember the lyrics to Smells Like Teen Spirit.

More on this soon...

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Suarez Sideline Storm

2011-09-24T12:59:00.000+01:00

The problem with geniuses is, they're all a tad bit insane. It's probably just nature's way of balancing things out a bit.

This clearly applies to Liverpool's own Luis Suarez what with the ear-chomping thing in Holland and to an extent, the unashamed celebrating in South Africa.

The thing is, it's not a carefully hidden secret so, the little Lucozade-kicking tantrum that happened on Saturday shouldn't come as a surprise to all especially Damien Comolli and Kenny Dalglish.

The King indicated that he had the issue well under control during his post-match "happy days" comment on Suarez so here's hoping that all this is just what it comes across as - an emotional response from an extremely committed player who wants to give his all to the team.

Who won't even think of heading off to sunnier climes in the south come January...

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Déjà Vu

2011-09-22T23:01:00.000+01:00

Watching the Brighton v. Liverpool match last night, I felt a sense of déjà vu. I came to the conclusion that after the horrible result against Spurs, even if Liverpool could do everything right, things would still be all wrong.

If we won last night, it would just be against a Championship side. Nothing worth shouting out loud about. God only knows what would've happened if Liverpool actually lost that match. We won the game scoring two in the process - the first one from Craig Bellamy and the second from the now oh-so clinical Dirk Kuyt. One brought in on a free while the other one isn't actually a spring chicken. But even that was seen as a negative with Suarez not scoring (even though he did provide the assist for Bellamy's goal) and Andy Carroll playing the role of benchwarmer.

Useless. Useless all of them. They wouldn't be fit to polish Vincente's boots.

Then again, it must be a good sign. Reminds me of the days under Rafa Benitez when no credit whatsoever would be handed Liverpool's way no matter how well the club was doing. It was Liverpool against the world (well, most of the media actually and some idiotic people who call themselves fans).

And you know what? I kinda like this feeling. In a strange way, it somehow seems right.

Sneezing in the Wind

2011-09-20T19:48:00.000+01:00

I hate getting colds. It's not the fact that my nose gets all stuffy, I sneeze constantly, my throat gets throbbingly sore and aches start to spread across my body. Oh, and there's the headaches as well.

No, all those pleasant things aren't the worst bits. The worst bit is that even though I'm as sick as can be and reduced to a zombie-like state, the world doesn't look upon it as a medically certifiable type of sickness. Take the day off and you're a wimp. Oh, his got man flu. Don't take the day off and your colleagues look at you as if you've got slabs of dead fungal skin falling off your face.

And if that isn't bad enough, I have now discovered a new low in terms of the effects of the common cold.

Ever tried sneezing with a full-face helmet with visor down while riding a Vespa at around 50-60 mph? Well, I have. Quite a lot actually seeing that I commute to work on a daily basis over the past four years. Fortunately, all the sneezing that I've done up to this stage have been limited to the polite, one could say, almost silent variety. A quiet personal achoo and that's it. No harm done.

My luck must've run out yesterday morning. On the way to work with my newly acquired cold (just in time to mark the transitional weather that accompanies autumn), I struggled breathing while trying to desperately balance the falling snot from a runny nose. Then without warning it came...

A mighty saliva-spewing, booger-blowing, head-jerking sneeze. ACHOO! The Vespa swerved slightly on the greasy tarmac and the car behind slowed down to keep its distance. Instinctively balancing the scooter back on the straight and narrow, I quickly realised that all was not well - my visor was completely covered in phlegm and I couldn't see a thing. And people say wearing an open-face helmet is dangerous?

Now, where did I put those anti-bacterial wipes...