HC: A Forum for Reclusive People & Hikikomori

HikiCulture Graphics

Fri, 07 May 2010 18:07:07 -0500

"Embracing a Life of Solitude"

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 20:58:42 -0500

FOR the last 16 years, Nick Fahey has been living on an island in the San Juan archipelago north of Puget Sound, in Washington state, where his only full-time companion is a 26-year-old quarter horse called Ig. Mr. Fahey, 67, lives in a cabin on 100 wooded acres that has been in his family since 1930; it has no refrigerator, but there is electricity generated by solar panels, so he has light and can charge his cellphone.
Nick Fahey, 67, keeps a neat kitchen and sleeping loft at his cabin.

There are few amenities of the material kind, but his days are his own. Time, he said, is “one of the real luxuries of living out here.” With the exception of cutting wood for fuel and to support himself — occasionally he makes a trek to neighboring islands or the mainland, to sell the wood or buy groceries — he is free to do as he pleases. Most days are spent rambling around the rocky island and drinking coffee, his favorite French Market brand with chicory.

“I don’t worry about whether I am clothed or not,” Mr. Fahey said. “But the weather is such that it’s a good idea to wear some clothes.”

Getting away from it all: it’s a common fantasy. But for some people, fantasizing isn’t enough. For whatever reason — the desire for peace and quiet in an increasingly frenetic world, an attempt to escape the intrusiveness of technology or the need for an isolated place to recover from heartbreak — they feel compelled to act out the fantasy, seeking the kind of solitude found only in the remotest locations.

The compulsion to live in isolation can be attributed to any number of factors, said Elaine N. Aron, a psychologist and the author of “The Undervalued Self” and “The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You.”

Some people might “really need their downtime,” Dr. Aron said, and seek out “isolation that avoids all social intercourse.” Others may have developed an “avoidant attachment style” in childhood, resulting in “a need to prove to themselves that they don’t need anybody,” she said.

For many people, though, the desire for extreme solitude may have simpler roots, she noted: “It could be because they want a mystical experience. You can’t pathologize that.”

When it comes to striking out alone in the wilderness, however, men may be more inclined to do that than women, said John T. Cacioppo, director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago. “In our culture, there is this mythic individualism that we cherish,” said Dr. Cacioppo, who studies the biological and cognitive effects of isolation. “That’s particularly true for men — they are supposed to be an island unto themselves. They take that myth more seriously and try to pursue it.”

For some, he added, a divorce later in life or another equally jarring event may trigger that impulse. “Losing connections during that period of your life becomes very traumatizing,” he said. “One way to deal with that is to prove that you don’t need anyone.”

In Mr. Fahey’s case, he moved to the island full time in 1994, several years after he divorced, not because he was traumatized, he said, but because he liked the “feeling of freedom when you’re by yourself. You don’t have to answer to anybody.”

His daughter, Anna, 36, now visits about once a month, and his son, Joe, 39, who lives in France, comes once a year. There are a handful of other residents on the other side of the island, but Mr. Fahey prefers not to socialize with them.

“I’m not a misanthropic recluse sort of guy,” he said. “I just know that I’d rather be here by myself.”

Once a week, though, he does venture to Anacortes, a town on the mainland, 10 miles away by boat, to visit his 99-year-old father in an assisted-living home and to see his girlfriend, Deborah Martin, whom he has been dating for 15 years.

Ms. Martin, 56, explained: “We are both pretty independent, and I imagine that’s partly why it works. We don’t have the same expectations that other couples might, like, ‘I need you to be here every night.’ ”

When they met, she said, she was raising two children on her own and not looking for a father figure for them. But now that the children are grown, she said, she is considering moving to the island to be with Mr. Fahey.
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Stuart Isett for The New York Times

When Mr. Fahey craves company beyond that of his horse, above, he rows out to the Veteran, the 1926 fishing boat he restored, to visit his girlfriend and his 99-year-old father.

“I think he probably does get lonely,” she said. “But he loves that place and he gets a lot of sustenance from it. He doesn’t want to forsake it.”

FOR Roger Lextrait, 63, living in seclusion seemed like an appealing change, after a harried life as a restaurateur in Portland, Ore.

Mr. Lextrait was the sole inhabitant of the remote tropical atoll of Palmyra, in an island chain administered by the United States in the Northern Pacific Ocean, more than 1,000 miles south of Hawaii, from 1992 to 2000. He wound up there in his mid-40s, after nearly a dozen years of sailing around the world on his yacht, the Cous Cous, following his divorce and the sale of two restaurants in the early 1980s. Exhausted by his years on the boat, he agreed to take a job as the island’s caretaker, warning ships off the reefs and discouraging vandals. The post was supposed to last a few months, but Mr. Lextrait stayed for eight years.

Part of the draw of living on the island, which is now owned by the Nature Conservancy, was that “time did not matter — sometimes I would lose track of the year,” he said. “It was so magical, millions of birds, turtles. When I’d go out with the dinghy, manta ray would escort me, dolphins.”

When he arrived, he said, he brought a boat stocked with canned goods, 300 pounds of flour, 30 gallons of olive oil and several cases of wine. After two years, he had achieved a near-subsistence lifestyle, eating fish from the lagoons and lobster hidden in the reefs.

Still, island life took its toll. “I got attacked by loneliness,” said Mr. Lextrait, who came to depend on the company of his German shepherd mix, TouTou. He would often forgo shaving and dressing, he said, and “I started talking to myself. Sometimes I felt like an animal.”

His infrequent visitors would ask things like “What are you going to do if a coconut falls on your head?” — given that the nearest doctor was hundreds of miles away. “I said, ‘Oh my, if I think like that, I’ll never do anything.’ ”

Mr. Lextrait, who now lives in Thailand with his wife, Jayne, an American he met in Hawaii after leaving Palmyra, said he returned from seclusion to find the world a changed place.

“I had no idea that the cellular phone existed, I was so lost,” he said. “I came back with different eyes — I was a different person.”

OTHERS choose a reclusive lifestyle as a political statement. Edward Griffith-Jones, a 27-year-old British man, spent the last year living in a hut he built in a national park in Sweden. It was his way of being environmentally responsible, he said.

“It’s a very interesting time to find another way of life,” he said. “People use the word ‘sustainable’ a lot, especially if they are in business, and it means nothing.”

In England, he had been working in nightclubs and bars, he said, when he met a group of people who squatted in abandoned buildings. He found he shared their green, anti-establishment values, and eventually became a squatter himself. And after attending a gathering of like-minded people held in a Polish forest, he decided to take that lifestyle to its logical extreme.

For him, that meant living deep in a Swedish forest, an hour and a half walk from the nearest train station — a trip that could take four hours during the winter, when the snow was deep — with a couple of other similarly inclined individuals who would come and go. He had a cellphone, which he charged with a small solar generator and used to call his family and his girlfriend, a college student who visited him every few weeks.

His diet was not for the fainthearted. Along with perch and pike from nearby lakes, he ate wild plants like nettles, berries and tubers, as well as mice and rats. He couldn’t hunt larger game because he didn’t have a gun — to purchase one, he would have had to provide an address — but he began studying how to make a bow and fletch arrows. On infrequent trips to town, he would scavenge for unspoiled food in the trash.

“We live in a world where everything is so specialized, now people don’t know how to make anything, they don’t know how to survive,” he said, speaking by cellphone from the forest. “I’m not completely self-sufficient, but I’m learning.”

Every aspect of his daily routine was essential to his survival. “I have to collect firewood, rather than do some job that I have no idea what is the point, which I hate, and from which I am completely alienated,” he said. “Everything in my life feels full of meaning.”

Recently, though, Mr. Griffith-Jones left the forest, having decided that the lifestyle was not as sustainable as he had hoped, mostly because “women weren’t willing to live there,” he said, “or raise up children in the forest.” He is now trying to start an ecologically minded commune on a farm nearby.

DAVID GLASHEEN, 66, likened his experience of living alone to “going to the moon.”

“Everything you’ve ever learned means nothing till you come to a place like this,” said Mr. Glasheen, who lives on Restoration Island, off the northern coast of Australia, with his mixed-breed dog, Quasi, and has been there since 1996. “It’s the pinnacle of privacy.”

An entrepreneur who said he has worked in a number of fields — including mineral exploration, food services and toys — he had suffered a series of financial losses and divorce when a girlfriend suggested escaping to an island in the early 1990s.

“I just wanted the idea of a less stressful life,” he said. “I figured there had to be something better than this out there.”

Mr. Glasheen was living in Sydney at the time and found the island, an uninhabited national park, through a real estate agent. His company, Longboat Investments, leased the land for $20,000 a year, in Australian dollars. He and his girlfriend set up permanent residence there, but she left after six months; their son, now 11, spends some school holidays on the island with Mr. Glasheen.

“We had a baby, we had no hot water, we had no washing machine,” he said. “Things are not easy here for a woman.”

In the city, he said, when you need something, “you pick up the phone and everyone comes running. This is an environment where you have to be independent. Most men can’t handle it either.”

Mr. Glasheen intended to build a resort on the island with a partner, he said, but eventually he scaled back his plans, and is now leasing just 30 acres, which he has turned into a farm.

Along with native foods like lemon grass and capers, he raises bok choy, tomatoes and corn, sometimes with the help of volunteers who come to work for a month or so in return for food and lodging. (His farm is listed with an online network called World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms.) He also makes home-brewed beer that he trades for prawns from trawlers that sometimes anchor off shore.

A few times a year he makes a trip to Cairns, a city nearly 500 miles away, for “condiments and other special things,” he said, but mostly he lives a subsistence lifestyle that requires immense amounts of labor and planning. The wind turbine he used to generate electricity was damaged during a storm three years ago and still hasn’t been repaired, so he uses a solar panel to power his computer and lights. He does not have a refrigerator, but has a gas-powered freezer.

Several years ago, Mr. Glasheen became something of a media sensation after a dating profile he had posted on the Australian site RSVP.com was picked up by newspapers around the world. “The beautiful coral island I live on is a castaway’s dream,” he wrote in the profile.

When the National Enquirer published an article about him in February 2009, he said, he received messages from hundreds of women, but only a few piqued his interest: “There’s a lot of crazies out there.”

He made contact with six women in Australia, but after explaining the reality of his situation, he never heard from any of them again. “A lot of people liked the idea of having visits,” he said, “but not being able to go to the shops every month, that would be very hard for a lot of women.”

Though he would like to find a life partner, he knows he may have to lower his expectations. “There’s nothing wrong with having half a dozen very good female friends who see me as the most important man in their life when they come to this part of the world,” he said.

There is an inherent conflict between the peace of total solitude and the pleasures of companionship, he admitted. “It’s literally like living in heaven on Earth,” he said of the island, but “I guess I could say I’m desperately lonely sometimes.”

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What's the Hikikomori Phenomenon?

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 19:56:30 -0500

What’s the hikikomori phenomenon?

Hikikomori (ひきこもり): A term used to refer to acute social withdrawal prevalent among teenagers and adults.The term hikikomori is most commonly used in Japan, where the phenomenon is well-documented. The common equivalent terms used in the English-speaking world are shut-in or hermit, though some English-speaking people refer themselves as being hikikomori.

Traits

Hikikomori don’t leave their homes for lengthy periods of time; this is a contrast from general recluses who leave from time-to-time.

A hikikomori-sufferer’s seclusion typically lasts for months, years or decades. Any amount of seclusion under a month usually isn’t considered as being hikikomori-like.

Some hikikomori leave their homes, but only when necessary. They lose friends, quit their jobs, quit school, become anxious and in some cases, cut contact off from their family.

Possible causes

A combination of the below possible causes could be contributing factors for someone becoming a hikikomori.

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety has long been a reason for people not being able to have normal social lives.

It can range from moderate to severe. In the most severe cases, it can hinder people from going outside completely.

Depression

Hikikomori sufferers are typically, if not always, depressed.

There is a high incidence of suicide among hikikomori, which reflects the depressive state of the sufferers.

Post traumatic stress disorder

Hikikomori often suffer from PTSD.

Post traumatic disorder in the hikikomori usually develops when the person has been in one or more bad social situations at school or at the workforce. Extreme bullying towards a person can force them to become a hikikomori.

ASDs

Hikikomori very often have ASDs (Autism Spectrum Disorders). ASDs cause people to have poor communication skills.

Many people view ASD sufferers as being naive. They often are taken advantage of, mistreated and bullied. This leads ASD sufferers to choose a life of seclusion and become hikikomori.

Agoraphobia

People have suggested that agoraphobia is a contributing cause for people choosing to lead hikikikomori lifestyles.

Hikikomori, like agoraphobics, often experience a traumatic event which “triggers” them to become hikikomori. After experiencing one or more traumatic events in a social setting, they feel like they must be in their “safe place”, which is any non-social setting.

PTSD caused by a traumatic event often leads to agoraphobia.

Employment

Hikikomori are typically unemployed. They usually receive disability, welfare or are financially supported by their parents.

Hikikomori who get out of their reclusive lifestyles can re-enter the workforce, but they usually require lots of preparation before doing so.

Prevalence in Japan

Psychologist Tamaki Saitō, claimed that there may be one million hikikomori in Japan. representing 1% of the Japanese population. Some people criticize Saito’s claims since he admitted in his autobiography that he made up the figures to draw attention to the phenomenon. However, he claims to have based the figure on the number of people with schizophrenia in Japanese society, somehow convincing him that there were just as many hikikomori.

Hikikomori-related figures are unfortunately only available for Japan at point in time.

Misconceptions

People (mostly the media) have misinformed the public about the hikikomori phenomenon.

Some common misconceptions about the phenomenon are that:

* Hikikomori are adolescents
* Hikikomori are male
* Hikikomori are otakus
* Hikikomori are violent
* Hikikomori can’t be helped
* Hikikomori enjoy their way of life
* Hikikomori is a Japan-only phenomenon
* Hikikomori leave their homes at night

The hikikomori phenomenon: does it only happen in Japan?

The hikikomori phenomenon doesn’t only happen in Japan. It’s commonly believed that only the Japanese can become hikikomori, but there’s been reports of people all over the globe living hikikomori-like lifestyles.

Insightful links

BBC: “Japan: The Missing Million”

NY Times: “Shutting Themselves In”

Time Asia: “Japan’s Lost Generation”

Hikikomori forums

HikiCulture: A Forum for Reclusive People & Hikikomori (English)

Foro Hiki (Espagnol)

Foro Hikikomori (Espagnol)

Hikikomori’s Spirit (Français)

NHK’s Hikikomori Support Forum (スペイン語)

The document below can be downloaded, shared, embedded or printed:

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"Facebook disables Osama's account"

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 07:03:32 -0500

Facebook has said that the account under the name of al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden has been disabled on the social networking site.
The account is said to have extremist Islamic content and has over 1,000 ‘fans’.

“People often attempt to register fake accounts under the name of famous or infamous people and we have a number of technical measures designed to prevent this behaviour,” Facebook spokesman Andrew Noyes said on Sunday, Apr 18, in an email.

“Sometimes these fakes do get through but there is no evidence to suggest that the account in question or the other dozens of people who have tried to present themselves as Osama Bin Laden have any relation to the terrorist,” he said.

According to media report, the disabled account had speeches and audio recordings of Islamic extremists. The contents were reportedly produced by al-Qaeda-affiliated Al-Sahab Media Group.

The report said that Osama was referred to in the page as ‘Prince of Mujahideen’, while his location has been posted as ‘mountains of the world’.

http://news.oneindia.in/2010/04/19/face … count.html

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Couldn’t help but find this funny, yet disturbing at once.

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Spectrumville: A Forum for People with Aspergers Syndrome

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 05:36:54 -0500

Spectrumville: A Forum for People with Aspergers Syndrome:

Spectrumville is a new ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) forum which will cater to anyone who happens to be on the autism spectrum. In case you don’t know, the autism spectrum includes Aspergers, PDD-NOS, and “Classic” autism.

As long as you’re on the spectrum, you’re free to join and participate in discussion on this site.

Spectrumville is new and needs to be promoted in order to grow. If you could help promote it, that would be great.

You can promote Spectrumville by posting a link to it to:

. A social bookmarking site (Reddit, Digg, etc.)
. Facebook
. MySpace
. Twitter
. Your blog
. Your IM
. Your forum signature

When posting the link, be sure to use this full URL - http://spectrumville.prophpbb.com

There are other ways to promote it, but as long as you post the link somewhere where lots of people will see it, it’ll do.

Thanks. Hope to see you around on the forum. :)

Yes - And You And I

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 05:30:12 -0500

Yes - And You and I

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Pierre-Auguste Renoir Flower Paintings

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 09:29:55 -0500

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Reflection

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 04:21:07 -0500

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Blue City, Red Tower

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 04:15:01 -0500

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Tokyo Tower and Fuji San

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 04:11:38 -0500

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Change of Generations

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 04:06:56 -0500

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"Ah...venga il tempo in cui i cuori s'innamorino..." [Prima prova di still-life]

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 01:47:09 -0500

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Lamp and Clock

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 01:41:41 -0500

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Take it Easy Jet

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 01:35:38 -0500

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Moon Shot 2

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 01:33:14 -0500

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Moon

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 01:21:47 -0500

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Forward March!

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 13:43:32 -0500

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Lucerne's Jesuit Church, Switzerland

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 13:37:00 -0500

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I may no longer be religious, but this is a great photo.

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Chasing an Alien

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 13:31:05 -0500

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Pastoral Switzerland-autumn landscape

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 13:27:00 -0500

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