Hildeborg Speaks.

What Success Looks Like

2010-03-26T13:10:00.000-07:00

Forget million dollar views and a corner office, I think success means working at a place where people are encouraged to bring their pets to work. Like this guy. His name is Velo, and he likes Sun Chips and sitting in your lap. He boosts my productivity.

View

2010-03-24T14:16:00.000-07:00

This is the view I have from my office. Boats, water and sunshine. It is a good, good life.

Life is Good

2010-03-23T17:27:00.000-07:00

This is the new love of my life. Her name is Clara. Clara Suzuki Boulevard S40. She's from Japan, and she makes me happy. More photos later.

My Mom Is a Mixer

2010-03-22T07:43:00.001-07:00

Today is my mom's birthday. She passed away last year, and this is her first birthday in Valhalla, where all Vikings go when they die.

I don't have much from my mom in terms of material things, but I do have her KitchenAid mixer, one of her prized possessions. It will always have a place in my kitchen.

Happy birthday, Mom. I miss you more than you know. Skol!

Easy Rider

2010-03-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

I completed my motorcycle certification test today. Watch for me, Seattle. I'm the one on the awesome cruiser with the big smile plastered across my face. You can't miss me.

The Empire

2010-03-20T18:50:00.001-07:00

This is the Empire Tavern in downtown Fargo. If you were helping with the sandbagging efforts, you could drop by the Empire and have a Grain Belt. Or a Hamm's. You'd totally deserve it.

Keeping It Holy

2010-03-18T21:45:00.001-07:00

I don't pretend to understand the overly religious. I guess everything has its place in this life, even sub-standard chocolate molded into the shape of prayer hands. I prefer my chocolate in martinis, but that's just me.

Ode to Magnolias

2010-03-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

I love Magnolia trees. I love Magnolia tress in bloom. I love them so much that I will slam on my brakes and jump out of my truck to look at them. I love Magnolias. I love them almost as much as pretty girls and bald eagles. My heaven is filled with Magnolia trees, bald eagles, pretty girls and beer. And cheese. I can't wait to go to heaven.

Special bikes for special folks

2010-03-16T11:14:00.000-07:00

Bike outside of Linda's. You go, Special Ed.

My Accountant

2010-03-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

Hey lady, I've done your taxes, and you are so screwed.

Creatures From The South

2009-09-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

We encountered many critters on our big adventure to the South.

First the good ones!

Take this handsome fella who was part of the petting zoo at Magnolia Plantation outside of Charleston, South Carolina. Unfortunately, I didn't get a good shot of the big, fat sheep who was obviously the don of the petting zoo. He made a beeline for Angie after she got some feed and rammed her in the ass.

Just 25 cents for fistful of feed and the lovely experience of feeding and petting a deer.

And now...the bad!

These crazy fuckers were hanging *everywhere* in the massive, overgrown gardens at Magnolia Plantation. Apparently they are the second largest spiders in the United States, behind the tarantula. We didn't notice them until we were well out into the gardens. After we spotted the first one, we saw them everywhere. It was like they were mobilizing for an attack. Then in our panicked state, we got hopelessly lost until a lovely older couple from North Carolina calmed us down with their charming Southern humor and led us to the exit. I wish we had video of us running through the swamp land of South Carolina shrieking every 30 seconds because of these gigantic, man-eating spiders as we completely ignored the "Beware of Alligators" signs.

However, we did manage to calm ourselves long enough to enjoy this beautiful blue heron, who swooped in to enjoy a stroll through one of the ponds.

After Magnolia Plantation, we were hopeful that we'd seen the last of gigantic bugs, until the bartender at Paula Deen's restaurant in Savannah told us about Palmetto bugs, which are gigantic flying cockroaches. I don't have a photo of them either, and I really don't want to talk about them anymore.

And then, we pulled off the road to have a drink at the kitschy goodness of the Crab Shack on Tybee Island. An open-air bayou type bar, we hung out in the plastic lawn chairs and enjoyed the view of the river. Until I saw something dart across the patio by my foot.

Turns out, these little black crabs were scurrying underfoot.

Now I know why the South tends to be pro gun. It's not about protecting yourself against other people, it's about saving yourself from all of these big bugs. If I lived in the South, I would carry a .38 and a big can of Raid.

Despite the creepy-crawlies on the floor, the Crab Shack was all it promised to be. We even bought some meat from the waitress to feed to the gators in the pen out front. I think that most restaurants should have a gator pen out front, especially when you can carry your beer and your package of meat out to feed them. Are you listening, Paula Deen?

Marketing Gone Wrong

2009-09-18T17:24:00.001-07:00

Marketing Gone Wrong, originally uploaded by Hildeborg.

Now I realize that I still have a lot to learn about the marketing game, but this bench photo is downright creepy. Melba scares the hell out of me, even more than those giant Southern bugs.

Cicadas: A Love Poem

2009-09-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

Someday I want to write a love poem to cicadas. My trip to Savannah has made me fall in love with their powerline hums. As a Northerner, I would have a different take.

Until then, I give you a stanza from another poet's poem about these buzzy guys.

Cicadas At The End Of Summer
by Martin Walls

Whine as though a pine tree is bowing a broken violin,

As though a bandsaw cleaves a thousand thin sheets of

titanium;

They chime like freight wheels on a Norfolk Southern

slowing into town.

Go read all of it at Poetry Foundation.

I Love...

2009-09-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

That someone who searched on "Westboro Baptist Church = Crazy" on Google was referred to my blog.

God bless America.

This Is The Best Thing Ever

2009-09-11T13:40:00.001-07:00

Urban Word of the Day: You Lie!

2009-09-10T09:15:00.001-07:00

September 10: You lie!

The classiest way to respond to anyone you disagree with.

Obama: There are also those who claim that our reform efforts would insure illegal immigrants. This too is false - the reforms I'm proposing would not apply to those who are here illegally.

Joe Wilson: You lie!

Beginning My Farewell Tour...

2009-09-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

My lawn goose, Fargo poster, and hockey stick are all packed up and ready to go to my new gig (I hope my new coworkers aren't reading this...the goose comes with clothing)!

A standard goodbye party in a conference room, complete with a variety of beer and munchies and old friends and people you don't even know...

Hey, at least they got my favorite!

This has been my home away from home for years and years and years...

My farewell message to my coworkers...

Rolling With The Bitches

2009-09-08T21:15:00.000-07:00

We found this 197x Chevy Silverado outside of Linda's. That's how we roll...

Now For My Soft & Cuddly Side....

2009-09-08T17:01:00.000-07:00

No comments from any of you....but I love my critters, and so I sent a very heart-felt email after I adopted my cat from MEOW Cat Rescue in Kirkland. MEOW is an awesome organization, so when they asked if they could feature my mail on the Happy Endings portion of their website, I was more than happy to oblige.

Check out my mail (and photo) of my Ding Ho, the most awesome cat ever named for a dry cleaners.

http://www.meowcatrescue.org/happyendings.html

My Labor Day....

2009-09-07T13:04:00.000-07:00

Spent laboring.....

My Favorite Amsterdam Photos

2009-08-23T08:41:00.001-07:00

And before time gets away from me, here are my favorite snaps from Amsterdam. I'm glad we visited London first - it's a huge, bustling city where you just feel like you have to go, go, go. But Amsterdam is more chill. We didn't really do anything but walk around and around gawking at the beautiful architecture and canals.

Opera singer in the window....On our last day in town, we stumbled across dueling opera singers just north of the Red Light District. These lovely ladies were hanging out of second story windows a block apart. The piano player (and big crowd) was below on the street. One sang, the crowd cheered and then the other took over. It was awesome. What a treat.

Amsterdam squatter buildings....Squatters took over a handful of abandoned buildings in Amsterdam years ago, and instead of just throwing them out, the government actually listened to their concerns about the lack of affordable housing. Now there are a few buildings where squatters live (and have their own co-op association apparently). On the fronts of these buildings are some beautiful murals.

How could I see a giant wooden clog and not get my photo taken in it?

The gays have it pretty darn good in the Netherlands. The Netherlands was the first country to recognize same-sex marriage, and there are plenty of gay bars scattered throughout the city. I love the guy in the background. He's priceless.

I often wonder why Angie doesn't like me taking photos of her. This could be why.

The Red Light District. Not as crazy as it sounds, but there are plenty of ladies in windows with the red lights above them and they are mere inches away from you, separated only by the door. Of course, no photos are allowed, lest you want some big thug to come out and destroy your camera. And I didn't want that.

Beautiful, beautiful homes....They used to tax homes based on their width, so you see mostly these skinny houses.

Lady of the canal....Lots and lots of interesting boats, and I loved this lady atop of one of them.

I don't think there's an inch of canal where there's not a boat moored. Unfortunately, many look like this guy. I supposed people don't want to give up their spot, no matter how rough of shape their boat is in.

The Nieuwe Kerk ("New Church") is a 15th-century church. M ostly Gothic, with some non-Gothic details added later.

My Favorite London Photos

2009-08-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

I'm back from a very awesome trip and thought I'd share a few of my favorite photos from my travels. Let's start with London....

The view from the London Eye...I didn't want to go, but Angie talked me into it and I'm glad she did. The panoramic views of the city were stunning. Worth the $80 just to sit there and gawk at Parliament, Big Ben and Westminster Abbey.

The Tower of London....Ever since I started watching "The Tudors" on HBO, I've been obsessed with Henry VII and the Tower of London. So I was thrilled when we got a hotel two blocks away. It was an amazing place, and I'd love to go back again.

Tower Bridge...this big mama is one of the most enduring images of London, and I loved that we stayed a few blocks away. We strolled across it two nights in search of food. It offered some amazing views of the Thames at sunset.

The Dickens Inn pub was recommended to us by our concierge (at the very fabulous and affordable Apex City of London hotel) on our first night in town. Right next door to the Tower of London and Tower Bridge, it was full of charm.

My joy knew no bounds when I found the Hung Drawn and Quartered pub. We had a pint and gazed upon the Tower of London. Bliss.

Absolut Ice Bar. This was recommended to me by a coworker who had been there, and it was worth every freezing moment. A room made of ice and glasses made of ice and filled with vodka. And a fashionable parka to boot.

This is their coat of arms. I'm sorry to offend, but I find it ridiculous. A lion and a unicorn are dancing together. What is that supposed to mean? Nonetheless, I'm glad for it because of the photo op it provided me. Long live the Queen!

The atrium at the British Museum. The whole museum is filled with amazing things (Hey, lookee here at all of the things we've stolen from your cultures over the years!) and the atrium is equally amazing.

Westminster Abbey. What an amazing view.

Amsterdam/London Photos...

2009-08-13T15:09:00.001-07:00

My connection to this Internet thing has been hit or miss over the last week.

I will compose my tome about my trip to this magnificent continent when I get home but here are some of my photos...http://www.flickr.com/photos/hildeborg.

Destination: London

2009-08-06T19:48:00.001-07:00

This is my test blog post via my iPhone. We're leaving tomorrow for London via Minneapolis (really, could I leave from anywhere else?).

Check back for my updates. Should be good times.

Best Of....The Bethlehem Lutheran Church Cookbook: Blood Klub From Hildeborg

2009-07-31T16:23:00.000-07:00

Today I received a little bit o' heaven: My dad - cleaning out my mom's things (Dodo, R.I.P.) - sent me a cookbook from my hometown's Lutheran church, circa 1979.

As I recall, it was to commemorate the church's 100-year anniversary - or maybe it was my hometown's 100-year anniversary - or the Vikings missing the playoffs for the 100th time.

In any event, at the time, we had two Lutheran churches in our 300-person town: Bethlehem and Zion. One was founded by the Swedes and the other by the Norwegians. Later, there was much hand-wringing when the churches (and their respective country churches) were forced to consolidate due to budget concerns and their dwindling congregations. But that's a whole 'nother topic.

Back to the cookbook. Filled with recipes from the congregation's ladies, it is filled with artery-clogging goodness. Back then, we ate three squares a day, consisting of meat and potatoes, meat and potatoes, and meat and potatoes. And then a bunch of sweets.

Oh sure, people dropped like flies due to heart disease, but they went with a smile on their faces.

So I'll post recipes from time-to-time. Stuff this good should be shared.

Today, I give you the best of the Scandinavian ones: Blood Klub.

You have to remember, these were written by immigrants, children of immigrants, or someone related to an immigrant. (Hildeborg - my grandmother - was an immigrant.) Norway and Sweden rolled up into one gigantic ball of mystery meat and dough. Enjoy.

Blood Klub (Hildeborg Olson)
14 c. ground raw potatoes
1 1/2 c. beef blood
1 c. rye flour
1 c. crushed dry bread crumbs
1/2 c. salt
3/4 tsp. pepper
14 c. flour

Mix all ingredients. For filling use lean pork, onions and salt and pepper. Make a patty of 1 1/2 cups dough. Place filling in center and fold together. Parboil 10 minutes in 1 kettle, then move to a larger kettle and boil 1 1/2 hours.

(White Klub: Omit blood and rye flour.)