HIPSTER RUNOFF

NSFW: Kim Kardashian shows off a SIDE BOOB NIP SLIP!

Carles — Fri, 25 May 2012 21:24:55 +0000

Kim BB! I love LOVE LOVe ur entire family! Yall give me strength that one day my big ass will be considered BEAUTIFUL and I will have my own EMPIRE of self-perpetuating fame where some1 loves ME for ME!

Is that a lil nip I see! U need to cover up, bb! I remember one time I had the MOST EMBERRESING NIP SLIP at McDonalds. The cashier started laughing at me, and said that my nip looked like a big gum drop. It was the first time in my life that I realized that I had big, bullet nips and since them, I wear a piece of tape over them to prevent myself from nipping out.

I CANNOT wait til your lil Jenner Sisters GROW INTO THEIR BODIES so that they can be as HOT and CURVIE as U! Bruce Jenner is so HOT, it makes sense that his spawn would have BANGIN BODS!

But u gotta cover up, bb! At the end of the day, ur nip DOES look good, bb! I wanna hang out with u and Khloe! Khloe gives me #strength.

Paris Hiltin who? #TeamKimmyK

Pitchfork CEO Ryan Schreiber unretires to give AVICII "Best New Track" status. Has P4k gone EDM?

Carles — Fri, 25 May 2012 20:41:52 +0000

Link: http://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/13649-silhouettes/

Ryan Schreiber is an indie blog innovator behind Pitchfork Media. He started his blogspot, it blew up and replaced dying magazines, and now he just pays people who are desperate 2 be associated with the Pitchfork brand 'content farm prices', attempting to produce branded alt content. Schreiber recently decided to descend from his stacks of buzz bucks in order to 'get his hands dirty', doing the work of the content farmer. He decided to give the popular EDM DJ act "AVICII" Best New Music.

Is this a 'turning point' in Pitchfork history, abandoning the traditional 'indie sound'?
I didn't actually read the review, but it probably just tried to explain why p4k was blogging abt EDM because ppl mainly read P4k to hear that people died or to spooge over the honky band of the month in a more tasteful way than NPR's advertorial voice.

As genre names go, EDM is about as vague as "indie." While it's useful shorthand for the post-millennial rave movement's superstar DJs and producers, it doesn't give much insight into the stylistic diversity of the music. Its artists may share an affinity for dramatic, wind-up builds and earthquaking drops, but there's still a world of difference between Skrillex's glitched-out mayhem, Diplo's baile-funk bangers, and David Guetta's big-tent trance.
Then there's Swedish producer Avicii, who essentially makes straight-up house music with an ear for the kind of universal, candy-coated pop melodies that his homeland seems to produce with astonishing ease. More than six months after its official release, his 2011 electro house anthem "Levels" is still gaining momentum as one of EDM's defining singles.

U vibe 2 LeVeLs, too, bro?

Le7eLz.

Listen 2 the track. Does it sound 'relevant', 'best', and 'new', or just the usual chords that make ppl on molly 'go crazie'.

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This is a bold move by P4k, and it certainly adds to the rumors that there WILL be a dance tent at next year's Pitchfork Music Festival in order to capitalize on EDM markets. The Online Mag recently 'crossed EDM lines' in order to interview Skrillex.

Is EDM more relevant than indie?
Has the EDM bubble already burst?
R u more into this song than Majestic-Coma-Wave Beach House?
Should music not have labels/genres?
Don't u wish we could all vibe?
Is EDM the future of the indie blogosphere?
Does all white man's honky indie sound the same anyways?
Remember that time when Avicii was interviewed by some1 who had no effing clue who he was?

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Previously
Indie tastemakers P4k makes truce with EDM, interview Skrillex, the Prince of Dubstep

Lucas Vercetti wears a Lucas Vercetti hoodie in solidarity with Lucas Vercetti [Lucas Vercetti News]

Carles — Fri, 25 May 2012 20:00:15 +0000

Whaddup guys? Lucas here. Vercetti in the house.

Things are going great on this end. I think I'm really raising my media profile. I feel as if I am officially more famous than Earl Sweatshirt, the #2 most famous member of Odd Future. Screw that guy. He was such a dick to me, and I was the only one who was nice to him when our manager locked him in a basement for the first year of Odd Future and claimed he was in Samoa. It wasn't right, but he would always try to bite my fingers off when I slid his prison food thru the hole in the door of his isolation chamber.

But enough about that. I've got a good thing going here. Got a good girl, a good gig at the retail shop. Things haven't been this good since I got free sammies at my first job (Quizno's).

I'm counting my blessings. It's just the Vercetti way. Fame hasn't changed me.

Whoa! Thanks for reppin Vercettti, Tyler! Do u mind going easy on me this week, man? I'm tired of being hazed. I feel like I've proved myself as a valuable member of Odd Future.

Well, I gotta order some office supplies for the retail store, then steam press some of the new shirts, then take a 3 hour shift at the register. I shouldn't have to be doing this, but I hired a guy I used to skate with who was addicted to meth, and I think he's fallen off the wagon again. I'm not sure if I should narc him out to his parole officer, or just see what happens. Unfortunately, he has also been stealing inventory and selling it on eBay.

What can I say? Sometimes I'm too nice of a guy. Lucas Was Here.

Vercetti Out!

Indie Hunk Mark Foster has a CREEPY, FILTHY child predator moustache!

Carles — Fri, 25 May 2012 19:43:24 +0000

Mark BB! Ur the hottest hunk in indie! So why did u grow that filthy gross moustache!

U look like a mix between a filthy latino gardener AND a creepy child predator! Part of me is like EWW GROSS, but the other part of me is very attracted to latinos with moustaches, sorta like in the movie Jack & Jill.

At the end of the day, though, I would love for u to PUMP UP my clitoris in the way that you PUMP UP kicks! Honestly, It's been a long time since a man was TRUELY able to pleasure me. I just CANNOT get his song out of my head! He has SAVED the alt rock movement and their next album is gonna be PACKED with hits. With or without a moustache, Mark KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING!

Who are those HOTTIES? Set me up with one of them! They look like real HOLLYWOOD MOVERS AND SHAKERS! Set me up with 1 of them if ur not taken?

MGMT Kids who? #TeamPumpedUpKicks
Mark Foster 4evr!

Source Link:

Photo source

NSFW: Miley Cyrus shows off RIDONK-ASS sideboob!

Carles — Wed, 23 May 2012 21:11:45 +0000

Miley BB! I see some floppy jalopy! Is that the side of ur bosom?

WTF Miles! Cover the EFF up! U used to be a pure Disney star and now ur a SLUTWAVE SENSATION!

Don't get me wrong, ur body is AMAZING. Have u been going gluten free? UGH. I need to try that, but bread and butter are honestly my achilles heel. I would LOVE to have ur FIRM body. I'll bet u really hit the gym, doing cardio AND weights. At the end of the day, ur sideboob looks great. Nice, firm boobie. Mine would look like a pancake sitting on my belly, so at the end of the day, if u've GOT IT, WORK IT!

I honestly expect more out of u. Maybe u WANT the attention, but if Billy Ray were my daddy, I would ONLY want his attention. Is that a creepy thing to say outloud?

U look good, bb!

Oh Milesy... I will honestly ALWAYS have a soft spot 4 u.
Taylor Swift who? #TeamMiley
Noah Cyrus who? #TeamMiley

Zooey Deschanel finally leaves her tomato soup hermit cave, goes out to get nails done.

Carles — Wed, 23 May 2012 20:49:03 +0000

Photo by theCobrasnake

Zooey Deschanel is widely known for being in Fox's "The New Girl", being an indie actress, and performing in the band She & Him with some other guy who no1 even cares about. Recently, Zooey Deschanel obtained a social anxiety disorder that prevented her from leaving the house. All she really cared about was staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing. Eventually, many girls in our country acquired the same anxiety disorder, resulting in staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing. It has become a sad society where people only care about staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing. Something had to be done to save Zooey from staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing.

It's nice to see Zooey out and about, getting her nails done at a VIP event where they hire tiny AZNs to fix ur janky nails. It must have been scary for her to do something other than staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing. But at the same time, I'm sure she missed staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing. Who knows if she will stop staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing, but for one night, she wasn't staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing.

I am not sure if getting ur nails done is as fun as staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing, but when ur entire existence is about staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing, then you are probably scared to do ANYTHING other than staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing.

We would like to send Zooey all of the strength in the world as she fights to do anything other than staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing. There is a world out there where you don't just stay in, wear comfy jammies, order tomato soup, and dance by yourself.

Please use the comments section to send Zooey some strength and positive wishes.

R u worried abt Zooey?
Do u only care abt staying in, wearing comfy jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing?
R u a tomato soup Zozo hermit?

PREVIOUSLY
I am addicted to staying in, wearing jammies, ordering tomato soup, and dancing.

Bjork accepts award for Weirdest Person in the World Ever.

Carles — Wed, 23 May 2012 19:01:48 +0000

Þakka ykkur öllum fyrir að vera menn á þessari jörð. Ég elska pylsur og eins og að borða þá með börnin mín á meðan situr í íslensku sólinni. Það er ekkert eins og móður Jörð. Stundum munum við borða ísaður krem. Ég er aðdáandi af sorbet og gelato, en ekki frosið jógúrt. There ert sinnum í lífinu þar sem það er eins og við tilheyra ekki. Ég vil að hver og einn að vita að það verður betra. Ég man maður gekk með mig á götunni í gær og kastaði smá breyting á fætur mína. Ég var reið við hann, en ég ákvað að panta nokkrar tómatur súpu með því að afhendingu. Það eru dagar þegar þú vilt vera inni og bara dansa í kring í klæði svefni, en þú verður að takast á við daginn, jafnvel ef þú ert heill weirdo Who to í búningum.

Ég notaði til að hugsa að ég átti að vera almennum, kannski verða poppstjarna. En svo fattaði ég að ég er Bjork, og á Íslandi Ég er almennum. Í Ameríku, ég val. Já, ég hef unnið verðlaunin fyrir skrýtnasta manneskjan í heiminum til. Þetta er gríðarlegur árangur fyrir mig. Í lok dags, allt sem þú getur gert er að vera sjálfur, jafnvel ef þú klæða sig eins og heimilislaus poka dama sem straumar dúfur á staðnum garðinum. Stundum fæða dúfur á staðnum garðinum.

Ég hitti dúfu sem heitir Larry og fór með hann heim með mér. Hann fannst í raun að borða aukagjald ostum, kex, og ferskum ávöxtum. Við urðum góðir vinir, en fékk í innlendum deilu eftir að við vorum algeng lög eiginmaður og eiginkona. Ég elskaði Larry, en í lok tímans okkar saman, það var ljóst að hann þurfti að breiða vængi sína og fljúga sumir þar annars.

Larry, ef þú ert þarna úti ... Ég elska þig, og þetta er fyrir þig.

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Ashley Olsen shows off her BANGIN BIKINI BOD! FULL HOUSE? More like FULL BOD!

Carles — Wed, 23 May 2012 18:41:50 +0000

AShley BB! I luv u and ur sister Mary Kate! Both of u were blessed with BANGIN BODS from a VERY young age. Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey are LUCKY men!

I wish I had a twin! I heard that they have special powers, just like in that movie Jack and Jill. Adam Sandler is AMAZING, even more talented than Martin Lawrence in Big Momma's House! It would be nice to communicate telepathically with some1. I remember my ex used to never talk to me, so I would imagine that he was trying to reach me telepathically. It made me feel better about long dinners at Subway in silence. Maybe he telepathically broke up with me, instead of abandoning me without saying anything.

Ashley BB! u r having FUN in the SUN! Ur body is BETTER Than evr, and u have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Ur body is PERFECT and ur have an EXOTIC beauty that likens u to a creature from a faraway world!

How bout u, me, Mary Kate, and ur other sister Elle go on a VACAY sometime soon? I won't have bodies like yalls, but at the same time, I could sit in a sun dress on the beach and sip pina coladas! #yum

Raven Simone who? #TeamMKAOlsen
Jonas Brothers who? #TeamOlsens

I tried to search for something on the internet, but Google turned into a bleepbloop machine.

Carles — Wed, 23 May 2012 17:59:15 +0000

I went to my favourite search engine Google.com today in order to do some research on tomato soup restaurants that deliver in my local community.

As I began to type in my query, my computer began to emit noises that sounded like "Bleep" and "Bloop." It was confusing. I tried to backspace and resubmit my query. Unfortunately, I was met with more bleepbloops. I spent about an hour, messing with the on screen synth simulation, pretending that I was in a relevant electro chillwave bleep bloop band such as the Crystal Castles, the Neon Indians, or the MeightyThrees.

In that moment, I thought that maybe I was meant to do something else with my life, not just search for things on the internet. Maybe I could do something more creative. I could start my own bleepybloopycore band, becoming one of the most relevant acts in the scene.

Maybe I could go 'viral' on the internet. I believed that if I put my mind to it, I could do anything.

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I just want to create something beautiful.

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Then I realized that I sucked, I didn't have enough equipment to adequately record my songs, and most of all, I lacked the artistic vision and drive to make something that any one would want to hear. It was humiliating. My day started off normally, with a search for tomato soup. But now, I feel like an artistic failure once again.

I feel angry at Google. Why did they even bother turning their frontpage into some meme? I wish they'd just stick to what they did best, instead of attempting to become an online music creation app.

Maybe it's time to become a Bing user. All I wanted from a search engine was a company that bullied me into using their products, showing biased + sponsored results.

Thanks a lot, Bleepy Bloopy Google.

Beach House sounds & looks comatose on another TV show. Did they TANK?

Carles — Wed, 23 May 2012 17:41:51 +0000

Whenever u say the name 'Beach House', ppl are automatically like 'they are s0 beautaful and majestic.' It's generally true, but I watched this clip of them on Jools Holland (the UK Jimmy Fallon) and it seems like they are sorta 'dead' on stage, or maybe in a medically induced coma. It's too dark 2 know if they are passionately playing. Maybe they are nervous? Maybe they feel as though their music took a step backwards on this album, and they wish they were playing Teen Dream?

At the end of the day, u gotta give Vicki LeGrand props for having the #1 curly mop in indie. If she didn't have that, this band might be up shit-creek, but instead, they get to exist as the 'soft rock' for NPR cool dads who waste money on Jack White and Black Keys albums. Not a bad place to be in when they could have ended up in buzzband no man's land, one of those sad bands that is stuck playing festivals during the daytime forever.

Did this put u 2 sleep?
R u like 'zzzz'?
Should Beach House hire backup dancers?
Should Vicki LeGrand be a frontwoman who riffs around on stage, dancing in a tiny outfit, crowdsurfing?
Did St. Vincent's Coachella crowdsurf prove that every woman in a buzzband eventually has to crowdsurf to engage their fans? [via grabfest]