his jealous sky

burning letters

2012-12-03T11:08:00.002-08:00

I think I'm coming round to Carlisle now. it's pretty but it's just not the big city I miss so much.

This is Mims, walking home from university the other day. the sun was blasting through the dead trees. some branches still cling to their orange, lifeless leaves like it will save them. the snow isn't here yet - who knows if it will ever come? we are in the lakes, masses of water, and yet everyone says it's always too cold to snow here.

I love the park we walk through every day, it changes as fast as the clouds move

The other night, it was frosty and dark ice hid on the pavements, but we went for a walk to burn old letters in the night. like some kind of ritual. they've gone forever and they can't mean anything now it's just ash on the roads

14,000 pageviews

2012-10-07T11:24:00.000-07:00

but what to show of it? apart from a portfolio and a camera?

thanks anyway (to anyone who still follows me)

my boy, and a party i forgot happened (weeks ago now)

the view from my university flat, cleaning my piggy, and a note from beth, a new friend

(she forgot the 'u')

I wish photography could have been my thing. I could have travelled and done the thing I love most. now my camera just sits by the window getting dusty. I don't like taking anymore pictures because it's like the pictures hate me, what's the point. trying, and getting slandered from people who aren't even jealous, they just hate you and your shit photography. there is no point anymore. so I will do my 3 years at university and forget the promise I made 5 years ago
I don't want to follow my dreams for a dead person anymore, not when it just causes me grief

back to berlin

2012-07-31T09:43:00.001-07:00

we flew to berlin and landed with the first night bound to be horrible. we had to sleep in the airport cafe. well, it was cindy's diner with a children's play pool that wasn't the best idea at 6am for us

to pass the day time first, we took the airport express to the city, and we ate italian (i found a german meal on the menu though!) and explored

2am dealings, sat outside terminal D, playing cards and drinking 85 cent beer. good beer too

my sleepy boy

after being woken at 5am by 'cindy' we found ourselves laying in sleeping bags, by the car park, listening to the planes land and leave, trying to sleep. eventually at 12, our coach was there and we could get to melt festival!

but then it rained. and we waited by the side of the autobahn, watching other coaches zoom past when our driver was just too scared. eventually the rain left and we got there

and we thought it was a good idea to shave tomo's head - after a trip to lidl, a few (even cheaper) beers and the worst thunderstorm we ever got caught in

bad idea

the boys made good bikini models

but my camera lens wasn't allowed into the arena, so that's all i got from melt. apart from pictures on tomo's camera. but they can stay there, secret. and i won't even mention how amazing lana del rey was, or justice, or bloc party. i'll just let you imagine

back to berlin. city people

and that's it. i was rubbish with my camera. i wish i took more pictures, i always do the same

there's a few on my instagram too though - @jessicaheaps

now i am just watching the olympics obsessively and telling myself that i need to get a life (and get better)

time to plan this video i am making...

new home

2012-07-25T09:16:00.001-07:00

i have a new home, but it isn't really here or there. it's hard to fit in sometimes. it's strange waking up with your hand in someone else's. but it's nice. it's nicer than nice

wandering with hanah in the woods. it rained so hard that we crawled home, soaked and frozen half to death. i'm going to take pictures here soon, if only someone will let me take pictures of them

my favourite things

i'm not ginger anymore and this is old now

beat-herder festival things - the most amazing weekend

just things

when maxxie played at a gig in bradford

best friend

the foxes faux in keighley, on the olympic torch relay day. their music is so lively and sweet, it's music that makes you giggle

keighley in bloom. i can't wait to leave this town, yet i know i'll miss it when i go. it's a strange one

i don't know why i do blog posts like this. i guess i just like to think that people find them interesting. like reading someones diary, like a book. but my life isn't good enough of a story to read in that way

i have my berlin and melt festival pictures to do now. this will take me days on end

haworth in the forties

2012-06-22T13:22:00.000-07:00

me, harriet and scarlett went for a dressed up day strutting up and down haworth for the 1940's weekend. i should have posted these pictures weeks ago but so much has happened (i might tell the story one time but it's a long, heartbreaker and it's definitely not ready for today)

odd things

for tomo, my pug loving friend

the main street. the flags and faces, the grey sky

shopping, or really just messing around

i miss this, taking pictures

soon. when my life is more normal again

lca fashion: the show

2012-06-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

after sat on the side stairs, for both shows, half an hour each, i got cramp in my hands and my eyes squinted so much i couldn't squint anymore - really, i couldn't

but the outfits were worth watching twice over, and to get the pictures twice over and the practice. it just was amazing. i hope one day i'll do a real, big fashion show and have it all set up professionally, and not sat on the stairs blocking the fire exits

but, here's to my final blog on leeds. ever. goodbye lca, and hello summer and carlisle

life and good things

2012-06-15T03:58:00.000-07:00

post winter sun, jumping and having giggles together. i miss them both so much already

step grandma's 80th birthday meal snap shots

brother

some of my finest baking yet (for joe at college)

hello summer hair

the best two you could ever wish for

so much has happen in the past few weeks, it's hard to explain how scrunched up and messed up my brain is from it all. but it's summer now, long college days are over and it's time to party, festival and wait for university. which i can't wait for, but i have to anyway

there's going to be a lot less pictures of my siblings now and a lot more of traveling and friends. i miss them both and it's hard. really hard

it's time for good luck but it's still bad. please hurry up, good things

lca fashion show: backstage

2012-06-10T09:26:00.001-07:00

the costumes, make up and everything that went into the show were all so beautiful. i wish i took even more pictures than i did (900 in total)
i'm normally so scared to just point my camera at people, but i'm getting there. so many see you, and smile and that's not what you want - you want the natural face they had on a second before
it was great to do something different for once. i just hope they like the pictures (the cat walk ones are next)

SINGE

2012-05-22T07:02:00.002-07:00

if you follow me on Facebook or twitter, you will have already seen my new curve for sale. i've done this to help other photographers starting out, and to keep my funds alive to shoot still!

if you want a chance to WIN the curve, head over to my Facebook page to enter, or if you want to buy my curve from etsy, click here!

i hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of a new summer, and eating all the strawberries you can find. and taking all the pictures you can take, because i am

visit to the seagulls

2012-05-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

the car journey, with sun blazing through the windows

beach views and people

sister, brother and daddy going to collect shells for our fish tank

it's only a short one i know. but it's all i have for now
i finished college (sort of) today and it feels sad, but not quite over yet. we have the end of year show to set up and then, we dress up and go look at our work proudly sitting on the walls of leeds college of art's studios.
it's fast life. it feels like two minutes ago that i was at my interview, so nervous i wouldn't get in. and now i'm going to cumbria to do graphic design. crazy

ps. if you're in the leeds area, you should get yourself a ticket for the show, when they come out, and head over (there's free wine and beautiful art)

february adventures

2012-03-11T14:51:00.001-07:00

my brother playing in the snow, and the night sky moon waiting for the wolves to come out

only me, with my amazing SBTRKT tee, thank you jordan

cooking tea with mama

days and nights at my boys house, our mugs waiting for more tea, and the hat i bought him for christmas

the journey to and from my cumbria university interview. the most beautiful train journey i have ever been on. and i got into cumbria and it's my perfect choice. i can't wait to go in september

sister, embarrassed on valentines day because she got a card off her 'boyfriend' (she's seven). and my beautiful flowers from my boy

this is only half of my february pictures. it's just hard to find time these days

there's photos of baking and beaches, so don't ignore this space. watch it

berlin / part two

2012-03-01T07:05:00.001-08:00

city wandering, searching for street art and strange faces

a museum full of photography where some of the work was in 3d, it was so beautiful

these next ones are from the jewish museum. the most moving place i have ever visited. i want to go back

this isn't with a fish eye or wide angle. this is how it really was

pictures in the 'holocaust tower'. it was a lonely and cold tower

thousands of faces that were the faces of the jews killed in the war. they were too heavy to even shift

an upside down picture of a note on a tree for wishes

visiting checkpoint charlie

journey to the reichstag where all the berlin fashion week events were happening. we saw red carpets and posh cars. wherever you go there are people cycling everywhere. i wish people did here too

u-bahn travelling

a visit to the most boring fine art museum. we only loved the bubbles that we could play in, and the exit signs. i'm sorry fine art lovers. i just can't do it

i want to go back to berlin and live there one day. that's not just a wish, i'm going to do it when i'm lost and lonely and berlin will save me

berlin / part one

2012-02-19T09:41:00.000-08:00

lonely train journey with the suitcase twice my size

on the coach, and off again, at liverpool airport

off the plane and on another coach to our hostel. one minute it was driving past the river and city scopes, and next we would be driving past forests

city wanderings; street art everywhere, the berlin wall, a pretend man, and the beautiful art of blu

and journeys on the u-bahn (the trains) around the city

it was so cold so we had to wrap up, and walking around the city for hours was hard but i am glad we powered through. berlin was one of the best experiences i can remember. i've only ever been to another city once - london, when i was in my mama's tummy. so berlin was amazing. truly

colour versions will be appearing on my tumblr, if you want to see them go here

a new year

2012-02-18T05:54:00.000-08:00

(just two months too late)

the two who mean the most. they are beautiful

the christmas street

only the cutest dog i know

a night with the art geeks. drinks at the coolest pub, a meal (where they were so messy it was unbelievable) and a journey to the weirdest gallery, ever

i wish that make up wasn't invented. i always feel free without it

my best friend and my double chin (sorry)

only the most amazing christmas meal and people all in one night. with the cat that attacked me, biscuits with our names on, secret santa, and beard boy

the night we all said goodbye to 2011

back to college, with late nights journeying back home

caroline and rob, and a picture i did for her for christmas

and the thing i love most. days and nights spent at my boys house, eating omelettes and cuddling dora (the pretty dog)

i had such an amazing christmas holiday, i wish i could re-live it sometimes. some of the pictures are from my 366 project so i am sorry i've posted them twice now, and i am sorry it has taken me two months to blog again, but life is too fast and crazy at the minute. my camera is always with me though

i promise to keep taking pictures, even if it kills me

kneel down, wasp sting

2011-11-17T13:35:00.001-08:00

clothes and make up: sophie condren

model: eleanor williams

in time

2011-11-13T06:33:00.001-08:00

my favourite dress

waiting for the bus home

disposables from the gypsy photo shoot, pretty people

my favourite boy

pretty lights at leeds train station. my second home

sister holding the new fish to put in the tank in the wall

he loves me though (my only boy)

morning sister, looking at the map of pokemon world she made

me, dressed for winter, and behind me my wall of love

day trip to yorkshire sculpture park in the cold wind, with bright autumn leaves scattering everywhere

walking to the bus stop from my boys house

leeds days

i told you i'm not dead. i'm still taking pictures and still thinking 'what do i want to do?'

thank you for not leaving me

thank you for believing

the disappearance of me

2011-08-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

for the next year or maybe longer, i am putting down my camera and saying goodbye to photography for a while. i have been pushing myself for 4 years now and i have grown tired of giving everything and not getting anything in return. i am leaving my email open to anyone who maybe wants me to pick my camera up again and work for them, but until that day i am giving up

today i started at leeds college of art doing a foundation course for the next year, and hopefully it will guide me to somewhere that is much better than here. i want to focus on making it, and photography isn't making anything for me, it's dragging me down.

thank you to everybody who has supported me and said 'i love your photos', you kept me going for a while. and to those who will call me a loser for quitting, if you knew me closely you would understand that there is a lot more that goes on in my life other than taking photos.

i don't know whether this is a final goodbye to my blog, or a see you later, but thank you to every page view and email. you're wonderful

when noone else is around

2011-08-17T05:59:00.000-07:00

they have my heart. when there is nobody else to look after me, innocence is the best teacher. innocence doesn't do bad things or think about the worst. it just smiles

thousand eyes

2011-08-12T14:23:00.000-07:00

oh it's time to fight for souls

(love) the luminaries

little sister

2011-07-13T03:41:00.000-07:00

she is the one who keeps the camera in my hand

ten best friends and a disposable camera

2011-07-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

the clouds/the plane journey/the airport

the villa/the pool/a bird/rosie sunbathing

the first night, we went for a meal

walking on the beach in the early am

lazy pool days

coming home

i miss catty and the pool and the beach cocktails and the restaurants and the foreign supermarkets and the malibu and fishy and needing the air con on and not wearing tights and gator and having curly hair and meeting people from all over the world and not sleeping

lets go back

it's in the water

2011-06-12T05:21:00.000-07:00

emily

dancer

2011-05-31T14:22:00.000-07:00

danielle knapper

daisy's and buttercups

2011-05-03T15:38:00.000-07:00

giovanna white

bittersweet lips

2011-05-01T09:06:00.000-07:00

lauren & lauren, sophia & caroline