Frank Lloyd Wright (the architwect): New house keeps flooding. From now on, I will draw plans before building next to a river.

Forrest Finds the Loophole in Mama’s Longtime Saying

(From LocateTV)

Friends’ Follow Friday

(From LocateTV)

statman (George Gallup): Years of hard work and the only survey people remember is from Family Feud.

EverestSherpa1 (Tenzing Norgay): If @SirEdmund asks for a piggyback ride one more time, I will trip him and race to the top alone.

funkytut (King Tutankhamun): Excited for the move to Babylonia, but I will miss Arizona.

Historical Tweets contributor Sean Tucker submitted our Noah & the Ark tweet (a conversation with @2Ducks) to Eddie’s web site, and it was chosen as the #2 most popular fan art from September 2009.

We hear that Eddie chooses these awards himself.  If that’s the case… Wow.  We’re honored.

View, vote, & comment on “Noah and the 2 Ducks” in the Eddie Izzard Fan Gallery

@BuzzAldrin headed to the set… i mean moon. LOL. You been practicing slow motion “no gravity” walk?
[originally posted November 2008]

For over a year, we’ve said that books have been ruining history, but today we’re happy to announce that we’re the exception to that rule.

We just signed a deal with Villard (part of the Random House Publishing Group), the publisher behind every great book in history.

Come April 2010, you’ll be able to find Historical Tweets at your local bookseller… so, you should probably start the line now.  We’re not kidding.  It’s going to be big.  Really big.  Bigger than Harry Potter and Twilight combined.

Thank you for your support, your pos-mens, and your retweeting.  You’ve made us very happy historians.

Finally, a big historical salute to our agent Kate McKean at Howard Morhaim for representing us.  You’re a champ.

@bonnie we’re the rarest of breeds: heroic outlaws. no way this ends badly.
[originally posted November 2008]

Picasso: Just complimented a woman on her big head and weird ears. She was insulted. Must create visual style to justify myself.

TheDonald (Donald Trump): It makes sense that I should win. My girls have been hoping for world peace for decades. #NobelPeacePrize

dr_howser (Doogie Howser): Even though I am fictional, I was just awarded the 2009 Nobel Prize in Medicine.

rkelly_closet (R.Kelly): Just found out I won the Nobel Prize in Physics just for singing I Believe I Can Fly.

What started out as a fan-boy response to Mad Men characters Twittering in mid-2008 has turned into a real web site with regular readers and contributors.  We’re so honored for the attention Historical Tweets has received.  Thank you, faithful Twitterstorians.

• Time Magazine said: “Brilliant.”
• CNN said: “LOL-worthy”
• Ashton Kutcher confirmed this with a: “LMAO”
• Times of India said: “In poor taste.”
• Thousands and thousands of re-posts, retweets, LOLs, and fan-submitted tweets from people like you.

In honor of making history with Historical Tweets, here’s one from us, HT-co-founders/writers/historians Alec McNayr and Alan Beard:

Thanks again for your support.  If you haven’t seen them, check out the Tweets that started it all…

• Tweet #1: General Custer
• Tweet #2: Martin Luther King, Jr.

One small pitch, for all those trying to figure out the how their corporate marketing can benefit from online media.  Corporate social media is our specialty.  Historical Tweets went from zero to 4.5 million page views in one year… and we do this for clients, too.  If you’re interested in hearing more about the Historical Tweets story, or us as creators, send us an email. We’ll reply, and a conversation will ensue.  We promise, it will be historically entertaining.

Remember kids, those that don’t understand history are doomed to retweet it….

Alec & Alan

Thomas Jefferson (T.JEFF.USA): Mad at co-writers. Won’t include the ‘right to sexy slaves’ in what I’ve dubbed the Bill of Oh-So-Rights.

So how about generating your own?  What message would you put in the Sacajawea image below?  Let the comments begin!

We’ll start it out:

“I know it doesn’t look like the Pacific Ocean, but we have time for some poker, right?”

“I’m lost.  Leading these chumps in circles so I have time to check Ovi Maps.”
(there’s some product integration + smirkable humor…)

“Just go down to that mountain range and make a left…. or is it a right?”

Video Killed the @RadioStar

Henry David Thoreau: Ugh. Should have named Walden book “Survivorman.” Would have sold better.

Edgar Allan Poe: There’s a bird stuck in my study. Calling animal control.

MarieX (Marie Curie): Foreign lab assistant keeps asking for “two more” every time we give him an x-ray. Give it a rest, man!

PS — When said by a non-native English speaker, “two more” might sound like “tumor” and visa versa.

Joe Montana: Team dietitian says the key to becoming a champion is more rice.

[make your own tweet using our photoshop template]

@dn_aidit: @chairman_mao @brezhnev toinght we will turn this nation red. wish us luck guys…!

Goliath: @PhilistineYouths And another thing, don’t do drugs. There’s nothing worse than getting stoned.

[New and separate tweets every day.  Follow and subscribe to the new site BiblicalTweets.com or @thetweetsofgod]

Conductor H. (Harriet Tubman): I’d tweet more, but Article 1, Section 2, Paragraph 3 limits me to 84 characters.

See: the Three-Fifths Compromise on Wikipedia.

Nesster25 (Elliot Ness): At my current rate of success, alcohol will be eliminated forever in no time.

Alex GB1 (Alexander Graham Bell): @GoogleVoice Don’t feel too bad. Apple rejected my dialer app, too.

Despite rumors, we don’t want to crash computers.  Or printing presses.  Or weavers’ looms.  Any of these devices are useful for Twittering.

Seriously, though.  Anyone else having a problem with our HT Photoshop template?  Leave a comment below… we use Mac (Leopard) and CS3’s Photoshop, in case you’re wondering.

His email, slightly redacted:

I have tried and tried to access the Photoshop file from your ‘Submit Your Own’ page.  I have been trying to submit my own Historical Tweets all year and every time I click ‘open zipped file,’ my computer goes crazy.

Could that be a reason more people aren’t submitting their work? Or am I the only one who can’t get into Photoshop from the ‘Submit Your Own’ page?

Very Frustrating.

Again, our apologies.  We’ll fix this faster than FDR fixed the Great Depression.

Here’s a sample of their historical creations:

Virginia Woolf: @HenryJames: Am a bit depressed. Maybe I’ll download some vintage Nick Cave from Ovi Music. That’ll cheer me right up!

Odysseus: @ShipCrew I know, I know, we’re so lost. Can somebody please log on to Ovi Maps and get us back home asap??

Dr. Benjamin Spock: @babyboomers My bad.

From Wikipedia, the fount of all knowledge:

“Spock was the first pediatrician to study psychoanalysis to try to understand children’s needs and family dynamics. His ideas about childcare influenced several generations of parents to be more flexible and affectionate with their children, and to treat them as individuals…”

Archimedes: Unsuccessfully tried to measure the surface area of one of my big round pies…ugh.  From now on, the pies are square.

[oh snap, math humor!]

The Donald (Donald Trump): New this season on The Apprentice: I’ve digitally remastered videos of myself from the 80s and 90s to compete against each other. Can’t wait to fire myself.

Bill Lumbergh: @petergibbons What’s happening? Yeah… we’re putting new cover sheets on all the #TPSreports. Did my DM get lost in your tweetstream?
Submitted by Brett Abel — Thanks Brett!

[from the 1999 film Office Space]

LilArnoldJ: What you tweetin’ ’bout, @Willis?

(Leave your reasonings either way in the comments section below!)

Tried and True:

Shiny and New:

Atlas: Feel the Burn!!!

Thor: @Zeus Stop stealing my thunder! (And all the hot chicks!)

Benny B-Money (Ben Bernanke): Completely agree. Always a good time to invest. RT @iFish Stock prices have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.  Invest away!

CapReynolds: One glance at my tush and we’re done. Gorram Alliance is taking over @FOX. #mrsreynolds #savefirefly

Solomon: Had to cut 3 babys in half 2day b4 some1 finally got it right!!!

J.Ed. Hoover: @TrickyDick Closed my investigation into Manolo Blahnik. Would feel bad but these shoes are FABULOUS!!!

Fonzie: Shark!

General Custer: Leeeeerooooy Jeeeeennnnkins!!!