History and Technology

Book Sales Breakdown 2016

2017-01-14T15:11:00.000-08:00

Another year down and another bunch of books sold. My goal for 2016 was to sell 1,250 books. I made it there in late-November / early-December. I actually finished 2016 with 1,325 books sold for the year. Like my 2015 breakdown, I'm going to break down my sales from most sold to least sold and all of the cover images are linked to the Amazon page for that book if you want to check it out. When I list a current price, that is the price of the ebook (and generally the price that the book sold at for all of 2016.) Total sold is the number of books sold of that title since it was published.

Ebook Sales: 340
Audio Book Sales: 31
Paperback Sales: 9
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2016: 380
Total Sold: 663

Minor Demons is really starting to gain some momentum. 380 copies is the most I've sold of any single book in any year so far as an author. I think the fact that there are two follow-up novels and a prequel novella out now really helps. I have a lot of readers who enjoy this series who grab new books as they come out, but 2016 saw a lot more people stumbling into Minor Demons and giving it a chance. I ran a few targeted promotions at $0.99 but I've moved away from giving away free books for the most part because it isn't anywhere near as effective as it used to be. Minor Demons may be my first book to sell 1,000 copies. I hope it gets there in 2017. If you've read it and enjoyed it, please recommend it to your friends and / or leave a review. It has 20 reviews on Amazon US with a 4/5 star rating and 5 reviews on Amazon UK with a 4.8/5 star rating. I also shelled out the money to create audio books for Minor Demons and Middle Demons. The Major Demons audio book is almost complete and will be released in early 2017.

Ebook Sales: 313
Audio Book Sales: 10
Paperback Sales: 6
Current Price: $4.99
Books Sold 2016: 329
Total Sold: 634

Middle Demons has almost as many copies sold as Minor Demons and it was my top selling book last year. Now that Middle Demons has been out for a while, the numbers suggest that 95.6% of readers who read Minor Demons have gone on to read Middle Demons. I'm very happy with that number. The series seems to be doing well with Kindle Unlimited readers on Amazon as well. I'm a little worried about the sell through on the audio books, but I haven't paid too much attention to audio books since 2014. They're never huge sellers for me.

Ebook Sales: 236
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 7
Current Price: $4.99
Books Sold 2016: 243
Total Sold: 243

Major Demons was released in May on Friday the 13th. It hasn't even been out for a full year yet and it's already sold 243 copies. I got a lot of positive feedback from readers following the release of Major Demons, many of them hoping for another book in the series. I did give some thought to ending the series here and tying up the ending a little more so I didn't leave a few things open-ended. Readers convinced me that they enjoy this series enough that I should continue it. The Major Demons audio book will be available soon (hopefully February, it was delayed a little and I'm reviewing it right now) and I expect sales numbers to go up now that it has a full year to sell. I'm working on the next book in the series, Minor Nephilim, which I expect to launch in 2017.

Ebook Sales: 42
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: N/A
Current Price: $9.99
Books Sold 2016: 42
Total Sold: 42

In an effort to get more readers interested in the series, I released Angels and Demons: The Demon Trilogy bundle that includes Minor Demons, Middle Demons, Major Demons, and Outcast Demons as a bonus. It has done pretty well and does better in some countries where I don't sell as many books (India, Canada, and Australia among them.) If you want to get your friends hooked, tell them to pick up The Demon Trilogy. It'll save them a little money over buying the books individually.

Ebook Sales: 19
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 17
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2016: 36
Total Sold: 82

My fifth bestseller for 2016 was my photo tour of the Caribbean. This book also sold the most paperbacks for 2016. I imagine it'll break 100 total copies sold in 2017 and become the second of my travel photo books to do so (the only one that has made it so far is East Coast History.) If you want some ideas of what to check out in the Caribbean, check out this book. It has some great pictures and some interesting history.

Ebook Sales: 14
Audio Book Sales: 10
Paperback Sales: 6
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 30
Total Sold: 166

My short history article on Caribbean pirates and privateers is slowly making its way to 200 copies sold. When it reaches that point, it will be my second history article to do so (Constantine: The Emperor of Tolerance reached that point a while back.) This article goes along great with my Caribbean travel photo book. Definitely worth checking both out if you're headed to the Caribbean.

Ebook Sales: 13
Audio Book Sales: 0
Paperback Sales: 15
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 28
Total Sold: 96

Moving along alphabetically (tied for 7th place), Gateway to the Vikings: L'Anse aux Meadows comes next. I actually traveled to L'Anse aux Meadows in 2016 and released a travel photo book for the site plus Boston and Halifax. It goes great with this short history article. Feel free to check them both out. Gateway to the Vikings also placed 2nd for most paperbacks sold in 2016.

Ebook Sales: 28
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 28
Total Sold: 28

Law school and work get in the way of me just writing all day. That being the case, I wanted to get another Angels and Demons book out when I had some free time to write over the summer. I decided to write a prequel to Minor Demons. It's roughly 40,000 words (so a little more than half the length of the novels) and follows the demon Bumalin as he becomes a memory thief in the Philippines. It hasn't really sold many copies yet, but I only released it in late August so I'll give it some time. If you've read the three novels but haven't read Outcast Demons yet, head over to Amazon and grab a copy.

Ebook Sales: 12
Audio Book Sales: 4
Paperback Sales: 8
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 24
Total Sold: 139

My short history article on Luther Standing Bear was in the also-bought section of Luther Standing Bear's own works on Amazon last year. It sold 78 copies in 2015. Obviously that's not the case anymore, as it's down to 24. It's still a great short read and way less than the publishers of other works on Luther Standing Bear will charge you. That's still one of my favorite history book covers. It features an Igarut shield and spear I bought the last time I was in Baguio.

Ebook Sales: 4
Audio Book Sales: 10
Paperback Sales: 9
Current Price: $0.99
Books Sold 2016: 23
Total Sold: 182

These seven short computer stories from my days as an in-home computer technician were put together for an eight hour writing challenge. I put this entire book together (including the cover that I made in MS Paint) in under eight hours. It has now sold a total of 182 copies and is my most popular selling audio book overall. That's the most accidental success I've had with any title, so I just leave it alone and let it do it's own thing. It isn't very long, but it's very entertaining for a $0.99 ebook. It was also my best selling book in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 7
Audio Book Sales: 13
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $0.99
Books Sold 2016: 20
Total Sold: 64

My Geekus Maximus short stories are hidden gems. Seriously, if you're a little geeky and want some laughs, go buy everything I've written under my Geekus Maximus pen name. It'll cost you less than $3 total (or nothing if you're in Kindle Unlimited). This 8,000ish word short story follows an out of work computer tech named Robert who finds new clients in a fantasy land of dwarves, elves, goblins, trolls, and talking horses. Yes, the trolls have original technology riddles that I created. See if you can solve them before Robert does.

Ebook Sales: 5
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 13
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2016: 18
Total Sold: 121

If you enjoy U.S. history, you will enjoy this travel photo book. Over 125 photos and brief histories from: the Capitol, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the White House, Arlington National Cemetery, Mount Vernon, Monticello, Jamestown (with excavation photos), Gettysburg, Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, the 9/11 memorial, and more. History nerds will dig this book.

Ebook Sales: 15
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 17
Total Sold: 92

This 54,000ish word collection contains three short stories I wrote when I was first starting out as an author. It follows the last known descendants of Dr. Jekyll as they take on and attempt to stop the descendants of Mr. Hyde. They don't sell a lot of copies and don't make much money, but I will be adding the first short story to a multi-author bundle soon in 2017. If you like the Angels and Demons series, I imagine you'll have a good time with these as well, even though they're shorter.

Ebook Sales: 7
Audio Book Sales: 4
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 13
Total Sold: 250

Constantine: The Emperor of Tolerance was my best selling book in both 2012 and 2013. It's a modified version of my senior thesis and explores the idea that Constantine shaped Constantinople as a city open to both Christians and pagans. By doing so, he set a model for emperors to follow. Any time an emperor diverted from that path like Theodosius (in favor of Christians) or Julian (in favor of pagans), it led to civil war. This one is my personal favorite. I'm thrilled that it's up to 250 total copies sold now.

Ebook Sales: 5
Audio Book Sales: 2
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 11
Total Sold: 140

I wrote Explanations and Advice for the Tech Illiterate because I saw a need for it as an in-home computer technician. It covers a lot of computer and home theater basics and helps you understand the terminology and what you should be looking for in retail stores. I had these available on all outlets for a year and they still only sold on Amazon, so they'll be going back as Amazon exclusives this year. Great series if you need some help with technology basics.

Ebook Sales: 3
Audio Book Sales: 2
Paperback Sales: 5
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 10
Total Sold: 56

I actually thought I would stop the Tech Illiterate series after Volume II, but a reader left a review letting me know that she had purchased both the ebooks and the paperbacks (which she marked up) and that they had changed her life. She didn't feel afraid of technology anymore. She asked me to continue the series, so I did. I'm hoping the series does better back as Amazon exclusives this year.

Ebook Sales: 1
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 7
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 8
Total Sold: 33

I've talked about what's in this travel photo book before, so let me tell a story about the cover. That tiger was asleep nearly the entire time we were there looking at it. I had time to buy a shirt and walk around for a while. The tiger slept the whole time. As we were leaving, he popped his head up and I ran back. When I looked through all the photos I took for this book, one of the shots of the tiger that I took when I ran back was my favorite and ended up on the cover. I'm really glad he woke up.

Ebook Sales: 2
Audio Book Sales: 2
Paperback Sales: 3
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 7
Total Sold: 64

This is a pretty cool little article that traces some early sources towards the origin of prayers through Archangels and intercessory beings. The praying couple on the front are the Mary and Joseph from the carved nativity set I bought in Baguio. As you may have guessed, my house has a lot of wood carvings from Baguio. A lot.

Ebook Sales: 4
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 3
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2016: 7
Total Sold: 37

This book is a great photo-based tour of three major Asian cities. The cover features the entrance to the grave of the 47 Ronin. Definitely worth checking out.

Ebook Sales: 3
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 7
Total Sold: 32

This is my photo-based travel book on Hawaii. It was my only book to sell 0 copies in 2015, so I guilt-tripped everyone in my last Book Sales Breakdown. The guilt-trip worked, because it sold a few copies early in 2016 and then a few more later on in the year. So thanks everyone. Someone go buy a copy now so I don't have to guilt-trip you in the 2017 Book Sales Breakdown. :-P

Ebook Sales: 4
Audio Book Sales: 1
Paperback Sales: 1
Current Price: $0.99
Books Sold 2016: 6
Total Sold: 36

This is the second short story in the journeys of Robert the computer tech. In this one, goblins release a virus so that they can drum up business for their anti-virus software company. My sister did the cover for this one. I'm gonna say it again, go buy every Geekus Maximus book. Less than $3 total.

Ebook Sales: 5
Audio Book Sales: 1
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 6
Total Sold: 56

This is a combo of two really short articles, one about the theocracy that existed in early Utah and the other about Gregory Palamas of the Eastern Orthodox church. I'm really surprised it sold an audio book, because it's been blasted over on Audible. Writing about anything religion-related always brings out people with really strong opinions.

Ebook Sales: 2
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 6
Total Sold: 43

I miss the Philippines like crazy. I lived over there as a missionary from 2005-2007. In my travels, I've also discovered that I just really like islands in general. I also hate snow... especially Utah snow. This is a unique book in my travel photo series because I speak fluent Tagalog, so I've included some Tagalog words and a lot of really cool places to check out. The rice terraces of Banaue (on the cover) have been farmed for thousands of years. If I ever make enough money to retire early, I might move to the Philippines... or the Caribbean... or just away from Utah.

Ebook Sales: 4
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 6
Total Sold: 32

I should have named this one Traveling the U.S.: Salt Lake City. This mostly explores historical sites in Salt Lake, Echo, and Park City. It was fun to walk around and learn a little more about the history of Salt Lake for myself. It's a cool book with some great pictures.

Ebook Sales: 0
Audio Book Sales: 5
Paperback Sales: N/A
Current Price: $0.99
Books Sold 2016: 5
Total Sold: 39

This short story was free for a long time to generate sales of the next two short stories. I've changed it back into a $0.99 ebook and I think a lot of the readers interested in the series just buy the $2.99 bundle. I'm fine with that. This does have an amazing audio book version, though.

Ebook Sales: 3
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 5
Total Sold: 5

In our 2013 east coast history travels, we didn't have time to make it up to Boston. This year, I suggested we go to Boston and then fly up to Halifax to drive down and see L'Anse aux Meadows. We put that vacation together and I got some amazing photographs of colonial history in Boston and the only confirmed North American viking site up in Canada. It's a steal at $2.99. Go read it.

Ebook Sales: 3
Audio Book Sales: 0
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2016: 3
Total Sold: 46

This is the short story that started it all for me. I wrote it way back in 2012 when I decided being an author would be a fun hobby. I had no idea how much fun it would be and that it would eventually lead to an extra passive income every month. I still really like the cover for this one, even though it doesn't necessarily gel well with the genre.

Ebook Sales: 1
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2016: 3
Total Sold: 11

This is the only Tech Illiterate volume that hasn't made back its costs, but I don't care. That's not why I wrote this one. I wrote this one because a reader asked me to continue the series. Her review made me feel like I had done something life-changing for her, so I wrote Volume III. It'll eventually make back its costs.

Ebook Sales: 2
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: N/A
Current Price: $8.99
Books Sold 2016: 2
Total Sold: 10

So the history article collection finally got a new cover. I ran a Facebook ad early last year when I was still experimenting with Facebook ads. The ad sold two copies. I'll take it. At least the history article collection didn't go a year with nothing. If you're interested in a few of my history articles, buy the collection. It'll save you a lot of money.

Ebook Sales: 2
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: N/A
Current Price: $5.99
Books Sold 2016: 2
Total Sold: 2

I created this bundle that includes all three Tech Illiterate books to save readers some money if they want more than one. I don't expect it to sell a lot, but it has already sold one in 2017.

Ebook Sales: 1
Audio Book Sales: 0
Paperback Sales: N/A
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2016: 1
Total Sold: 24

This is a short 10,000ish word novella I wrote as a follow-up to Jehovah and Hades. I stopped the series after this one, but the things I learned writing this series ultimately led to my decision to write Minor Demons in 2013. Thank you to whoever purchased the single copy that this short story sold in 2016.

I've already sold over 100 books so far in 2017. That's insane. I'm actually starting to get some fans with the Angels and Demons series. Here's the total breakdown for the past 5 years:

2012 Books Sold: 157 (156 ebooks, 1 paperback)
2013 Books Sold: 372 (222 ebooks, 139 audio books, 11 paperbacks)
2014 Books Sold: 636 (404 ebooks, 160 audio books, 72 paperbacks)
2015 Books Sold: 998 (885 ebooks, 70 audio books, 123 paperbacks)
2016 Books Sold: 1,325 (1,099 ebooks, 95 audio books, 131 paperbacks)

That puts me at 3,488 books sold since I started in 2012. I put a lot more time into this now than I did back in 2012 and I hope the numbers continue to trend upwards. That's why I'm aiming to sell 1,750 books in 2017. That's a bigger jump than I've seen in years past, but I will be releasing the 4th Angels and Demons book this year and at least start working on the 5th. Ultimately, I would love it if I sold enough at some point in the future that I could go down to being a part-time lawyer and / or IT guy and dedicate more time to writing. I'm definitely trending towards that, so thank you to all of my readers. Here's to a great 2017!

You can check out my 2015 book sales breakdown here, my 2014 books sales breakdown here, and my 2013 book sales breakdown here.

Minor Nephilim: 5 Chapter Preview

2017-01-06T09:01:00.000-08:00

What follows is the first five chapters of the rough draft version of Minor Nephilim. I hope you enjoy it and purchase the book when I release it (sometime in 2017).

MINOR NEPHILIM

BY: RANDALL J. MORRIS

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are a product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Cover image used with permission of the artist (Gabriela at http://chimicalstar.deviantart.com/)
Cover by Elizabeth Mackey Graphics
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in critical articles or book reviews.

CHAPTER 1

Shade was surrounded. Two nephilim circled him, both of them grinning. He spun slowly as they circled, careful to keep his short blades pointed at them. They would occasionally lunge and pretend to attack, but neither of them actually struck. They half-heartedly swung their weapons and it was easy for Shade to evade their attacks. He knew what was happening. They were killing time until the real threat showed up.

“So the two of you are too chicken to take me on? You need to wait for your big brother to come save you?”

Shade’s taunting struck a nerve in one of the nephilim. He took a swing at Shade’s head, actually moving in close enough to mean it this time. Shade side-stepped the attack and elbowed the nephilim hard in the nose. He dropped his sword and clutched his nose with both hands, frantically trying to stop the bleeding. The other nephilim charged Shade, screaming like a banshee. Shade evaded the attack and tripped the nephilim. He went down hard, belly first. When he turned on his back, Shade brought his boot down quickly on the nephilim’s face. He was out cold.

“Picking on my little brothers again, Shade?”

Shade turned and saw Reaper approaching. He sheathed his weapons and shook his head defiantly.

“I wasn’t picking on anyone. I was minding my own business.”

“It doesn’t look like that. It looks like you knocked one out and gave the other one a bloody nose.”

“They attacked me. I was just on my way home from your father’s house when…”

Reaper laughed.

“Practicing again? When will it finally sink in? You can’t do magic. You’re terrible. The worst I’ve ever seen. The rumors about your father summoning ice and all of his other powers are bullshit. You’re a bastard runt of an angel and a demon that didn’t want you.”

Shade drew the longsword from his back and charged. Reaper yawned, then held up his hand and fire shot out. Shade flew backwards in the air and landed hard on the ground. Before he could get up, Reaper was on top of him. He hit him hard three times in the face. Shade held up his arms to block the next blow, but it never came.

“That’s enough.”

Shade tilted his head and looked up through his swollen eyes. Everything was blurry, but he knew who it was. Lucia was radiating light like she always did. Reaper got to his feet.

“Hey, babe. I caught your little buddy picking on my brothers again. I needed teach him another lesson.”

Lucia gave him a skeptical look. Reaper held up his hands in submission.

“I don’t enjoy kicking his ass. He was asking for it.”

Lucia reached down and offered a hand to Shade. He got to his feet without taking it, embarrassed by the entire situation. Lucia looked angrily at Reaper’s younger brothers.

“Fade. Backlash. Get over here now.”

Fade had stopped the blood from pouring out of his nose and helped Backlash to his feet. Backlash was clutching his head, still in pain from being briefly knocked out.

“Did you attack Shade?”

Fade shook his head.

“He attacked us. We weren’t even doing anything to him and we asked him to leave us alone.”

“Don’t lie to me. Backlash?”

Backlash looked at the ground.

“We were just messing around. We weren’t trying to hurt him.”

“You say that every time. It usually doesn’t turn out that way… does it? I don’t want to see any more bruises on Shade courtesy of you two morons.”

Shade couldn’t take it anymore.

“We were just messing around and Reaper misread the situation. It’s fine, Lucia. I don’t need your help.”

“Shade… I just…”

Shade turned and walked away. Lucia felt Reaper’s hand on her cheek and he turned her head to look at him. He was grinning mischievously.

“Am I in trouble?”

Lucia tried hard not to grin.

“You’re not going to get away with it so easily every time. The next time you do that, I’ll think about dumping you.”

“Hey, I should get a pass this time. I really thought that weirdo picked the fight. He was hurting my brothers.”

Lucia rolled her eyes. Reaper figured it was time to change the subject.

“We still on to hunt some angels and demons later on?”

“Sure. I need to sharpen my knives, but I’ll drop by your place after that.”

Lucia kissed Reaper quickly.

“Oh and I’m serious. Leave Shade alone. The next time I see the three of you attacking him, I’ll join in. On his side.”

“Just go get your knives sharpened. I’m sorry about the whole thing. I didn’t know that they started the fight. I’ll straighten my brothers out.”

Lucia grinned at him and walked towards Weapon’s armory. Reaper turned to his younger brothers.

“Since when can Shade beat the two of you up? That was pitiful. Do a better job ambushing him next time.”

Fade and Backlash looked at each other, then up at Reaper.

“We did what you told us to!”

“Yeah! Give us a break! He’s a good fighter!”

Reaper put a hand on his on each of his brothers’ shoulders.

“Our father is the most powerful nephilim sorcerer in the city. Use some fucking magic next time!”

Reaper smacked them each hard in the side of their heads.

CHAPTER 2

As Shade walked away from Lucia, Reaper, and Reaper’s brothers, he felt the inside of his mouth with his tongue. His teeth were all still there but he could taste blood. Shade felt the rest of his face and could tell that his left cheek was slightly bruised. He cursed Reaper and then he cursed magic in general.

As Shade followed the path to Weapon’s house, he got the feeling that he was being followed. He didn’t hear any footsteps, but could still tell that something was coming. There was something unnatural up in the trees. He pulled one of his short swords from its sheath right as he felt a blade press against his neck.

“I got you, Shade. Clean kill.”

Shade grinned.

“Check your hip.”

Shade pressed his blade slightly inward to emphasize his point. The nephilim removed the blade from his throat and frowned.

“You would have died first.”

“But you would have also died. You would have bled out. It wasn’t a clean kill, Nissa. Maybe next time.”

Nissa placed her sword inside her coat. It disappeared.

“How did you even know I was coming? I was up in the trees.”

“Instincts.”

“Well I’m still annoyed, but I wasn’t just looking for you to get a clean kill. I got a contract from dad. There’s a minor demon that has been stealing weapons from the armory. Five gold coins a piece if we can take him out.”

“Why doesn’t Weapon just kill him? Why the contract?”

“Do you really care? It’s easy money and good practice for the hunt. I hope you’ve been practicing. I’m not going to carry you through this, Shade. You need to pull your weight if you’re going to become a minor nephilim with me.”

“You just assume I’ll want to work with you? Maybe I found someone better.”

Nissa laughed.

“Very funny, Shade. There is no one better. I’m the greatest nephilim fighter there ever was, is, or will be.”

“Fine. I’ll help you with this job, but I want to see the contract first.”

“Why?”

“Because I found out that you cheated me last time. The contract was for fifteen gold coins and you only gave me five. I was even the one who killed the angel!”

Nissa grinned sheepishly.

“There was an extra fee for having to put up with your bullshit.”

“Then go take the demon out yourself. You don’t even need my help.”

“Stop pouting. I enjoy your company when I’m hunting and killing things. Happy?”

“I will be when you let me see the contract.”

Nissa weighed her options and then handed the contract over to Shade. She exhaled loudly in frustration.

“Why can’t you just trust me?”

“Because you were lying again. The contract is for twenty gold coins. That’s ten a piece.”

“I get twelve, you can have eight, and I’ll pretend I don’t notice when you stare at my ass the entire time. Deal?”

“I’m going home, Nissa. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Shade turned and started walking the other way. Nissa caught his arm.

“Fine. Ten coins each. Dad’s not sure this is a single demon. He thinks there may be a few. I need your help.”

“Ask me nicely.”

“Never mind. Go home then.”

Shade shrugged and started leaving again. Nissa caught his arm a second time.”

“Please?”

“And apologize for lying.”

“Oh come on! Are you serious?”

Shade smirked.

“No. I’m honestly surprised you even knew the word ‘please.’ Let’s go kill some demons.”

The small group of demons had successfully raided Weapon’s armory three times and turned an enormous profit from the weapons they sold when they made it back to Hell. The demons had scouted the place. They knew Weapon lived in the forest, a considerable distance from the nephilim city of Necropolis. They also rarely spotted him in the armory. Between training nephilim to fight, his duties on the nephilim council, and forging weapons in his blacksmith shop, Weapon only visited the armory to drop off weapons and armor.

The three demons entered the tunnel they built the first time they looted the armory. One of them lifted the circular hole they had cut in the floor and lifted his head inside. He looked around. Weapon wasn’t inside. This would be an easy score, just like the first three times.

The demon signaled to the others and then lifted himself into the armory. He reached for a sword and felt his hand severed at the wrist. His scream was cut short as his head was severed from his body.

“Is Weapon here? I thought he gave the signal?”

“There’s no one here. He did give the signal.”

“Well that’s just rude. I’m someone.”

The demons turned and saw an attractive female nephilim with dark hair, green eyes, and a trench coat. They eyed her hungrily, neither of them seeing her as a threat.

“Weapon’s daughter, huh? Why don’t you take off that trench coat and let us get a good look at what you’ve got underneath?”

“You haven’t earned it.”

“Well then maybe I’ll just remove it myself.”

“Shade?”

Shade dropped from the ceiling and planted a sword in the top of each demon’s head. One demon fell forwards and the other fell backwards.

“Not gonna lie. I’m even impressed with how stylish that double kill was.”

Shade winked.

“Then why don’t you take off that trench coat and let me get a good look at what you’ve got underneath?”

Nissa smiled.

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Standard contract? We just need to deliver the heads?”

“That and we need to clean up in here. There’s demon blood everywhere. You made a mess.”

“You’re the one that severed a hand. This is mostly your mess.”

“Hey… equal pay for equal partners. That’s what you wanted. That means you do half the cleanup.”

Nissa tossed Shade a mop and a bucket.

“Hey, Nissa?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna be my partner for the hunt tomorrow?”

“So you admit you don’t have better options?”

Shade looked like he was about to respond, but Nissa cut him off.

“I don’t need to hear the sarcasm. Yes. I’m in.”

CHAPTER 3

There were four members of the nephilim council: Lilith, Steam, Weapon, and Selene. Lilith called the meeting to order.

“As we all know, the hunt starts tomorrow. Let’s try to keep this meeting short. I’ll only be taking urgent business to King Leech. Does anyone have anything?”

Selene shifted uncomfortably and nodded.

“Angels and demons have been hitting our new outpost hard for a while now. I’ve received reports that our defenses have fallen. Weapon looked into it.”

Weapon placed a piece of parchment on the table.

“I took a small group of nephilim to attempt to retake the outpost after Selene told me the defenses were down. All of our nephilim are dead. There were a few demon corpses mixed in as well. We found the charred remains of Earthquake. They burned him alive and placed this letter in his mouth.”

Weapon slid the parchment across the table. Lilith picked it up and read it. She shook her head.

“We’re sure this is legit? The angels would love to pin something like this on Muan if they can.”

Steam nodded.

“Weapon brought several demon corpses back with him. They were definitely berserkers. I recognize the spells they were under and the markings on their bodies. It looks like Muan was behind this. It’s no secret the demons don’t want us expanding.”

Lilith crumpled the letter and tossed it back on the table. She turned to Selene.

“Are the defenses of Necropolis in jeopardy? This situation worries me. Should we postpone the hunt?”

Selene shook her head.

“Our defenses here are fine. There’s no need to postpone the hunt. We just need to build out stronger the next time we expand the city. The outpost was too far away and we didn’t use enough magic. I think it would be a good idea to build another outpost closer and fortify it better. I can have walls up quickly enough, but I would like Steam to curse them with his sorcerers this time. We can’t let them get lucky again.”

“All in favor of rebuilding and reinforcing with sorcery?”

Steam, Selene, and Lilith raised their hands.

“I’d like to suggest a more direct way of dealing with the problem.”

Lilith nodded.

“We’re listening, Weapon.”

“I want to take an army, track down Muan and his berserkers, and kill them all.”

Steam looked confused.

“You want to track down a major demon and the entire berserker order and wipe them out? Why on earth do you want to do that?”

“If we kill Muan with his army, berserker demons are no longer a threat. Period. Muan consolidated all of Nightmare’s old berserkers into a single order. We know he’s in the area. Why not wipe them out all at once? We may never get a chance like this again.”

Selene cut in.

“I know I’m only in charge of defense, but do we actually have the forces to do something like this? Without risking the entire city?”

Weapon ignored Selene and looked at Lilith.

“It’s a good idea. Take it to Leech.”

“Answer Selene’s question.”

“I would need about three-fourths of our forces.”

Steam laughed.

“You’ve gone insane, Weapon. If the angels or demons attack while you have three-fourths of our army out there after Muan, we’re done. That’s the end of our entire race. Why risk that?”

Lilith looked at the crumpled up letter again.

“We’re done for today. I’ll take both proposals to Leech.”

Steam, Selene, and Weapon got up to leave.

“Stick around for a few minutes, Weapon.”

Steam and Selene looked annoyed that they were being excluded, but they left.

“What’s this really about? You don’t normally make suggestions that are tactically ridiculous. What aren’t you telling me?”

Weapon immediately turned defensive.

“So you don’t want to take down Muan when we have the perfect chance? I thought you’d realized that the old alliances are dead, Lilith. We aren’t their friends anymore. They want to kill us. All of us. I’m just looking out for our interests.”

“Steam was right. It’s an insane risk to take three-fourths of our army beyond the protections Steam and Selene have set up for us here in Necropolis. Why do this?”

Weapon thought for a moment.

“Would you trust Muan alone in a room with your daughter?”

Lilith didn’t hesitate.

“Of course not. He’d kill her. I know he isn’t our friend anymore. What does that have to do with…”

“He killed my half-sister.”

“Muan killed your half-sister?”

Weapon nodded.

“Her name was Nissa. She was a middle demon in charge of the berserkers. Muan killed her to become a major demon after Adrenaline died.”

“So that’s where you got your daughter’s name. Weapon we can’t risk our entire race on a personal vendetta like this.”

“Then I’ll deal with it myself. I’ll take Nissa with me.”

“Nissa’s preparing for the hunt. Don’t take that away from her.”

“I can’t let it go anymore, Lilith. I need to take the little pygmy demon out for good.”

“I’ll talk to Leech. Promise me you won’t do anything until after he thinks about it.”

Weapon got up to leave but he nodded before he turned and left.

CHAPTER 4

As Shade entered his house, he heard three loud barks and his three-headed dog, Cerberus, lunged at him. Shade laughed as the dog tried to lick his face.

“I brought something home for you, buddy. Are you hungry?”

Cerberus wagged his tail and barked an affirmative response. Share untied the top of the bag and let the remains of the demons they had killed earlier fall on the floor. Cerberus was munching happily on the demon limbs within seconds. Two of his heads fought over the same piece until Shade pulled it from both of them.

“No fighting.”

The two heads found new pieces to munch on and Shade threw the piece back on the floor. He started sharpening his swords when he heard a knock at the door. Cerberus looked up briefly, but went back to eating. Shade set his weapons down and answered the door.

“Lucia… I’m fine. Go home.”

“Not why I’m here, numb nuts. I wanted to talk about the hunt and you’re my little brother so just sit down and listen.”

“We’re not related.”

“I’ll burn your house down. I swear, Shade. You can pout all you want but you’re my little brother. Leech and Lilith raised both of us.”

“My father’s a psycho killer… my grandfather’s a psycho killer… my great-grandfather…”

“Sit down and shut up for a while.”

Shade looked like he was going to protest, but Lucia summoned fire in both of her hands and made her way towards the nearest wall. Shade grinned.

“Fine. I’ll go back to sharpening my weapons and you can lecture at me about the hunt. Go for it. I’ll even pretend to listen.”

“Why don’t you actually listen? I’m trying to help you.”

“And I’ve told you my entire life that I don’t need your help. I’m not some abandoned puppy that you need to take care of. I can do just fine on my own.”

“Reaper’s helping his brothers prepare right now. I know for a fact. So if you and Nissa don’t want my help…”

“How’d you know I’m going to partner up with Nissa?”

“You’d be an idiot not to. Are you an idiot, Shade?”

“No.”

“Directly answering a question. That’s a new one for you.”

“Look… if it’ll give me an edge over Fade and Backlash, I’m all ears. Go for it. Tell me everything you can without getting in trouble.”

“If you keep your mouth shut, I won’t get in trouble no matter what I tell you. You’ll find all of this out tomorrow morning anyways. You can clue Nissa in, too. Just make sure you don’t get caught. I’ll deny that I told you anything. Reaper will vouch for me that I was over at his house all night if you try to get me in trouble.”

“Why?”

“We sort of… have a bet. He’s put twenty-five coins on Fade and Backlash. I’m putting my twenty-five on you and Nissa.”

“I’m gonna lose on purpose now.”

“I should just go over to Nissa’s place and talk to her.”

Shade laughed.

“I’m kidding. Don’t worry. Your money’s safe and you made a smart bet. Just start at the beginning. I’m not going to rat you out.”

“Alright. Well you know that Dad figured out how to steal angel and demon powers, right? He learned it from watching…”

Lucia almost said “Shadow,” but she caught herself.

“…anyways… Weapon and Steam were able to work with some blueprints that Dad drew up to make nephilim gloves. Once you kill an angel or a demon, you can use the gloves to steal their powers. You’ll get your pair of nephilim gloves tomorrow at the hunt. The few that make minor nephilim from this batch get to keep their gloves. Everyone else hands them back in until the next hunt.”

“I already knew most of that through rumors. What else can you tell me?”

“Every kill is worth a point. The most points wins. You bring back angel wings and demon heads…”

“I know all of that, too. It’s the same thing with the contracts Nissa and I hunt down.”

“Right, but each year Dad or the council picks a certain rule to tweak. This year, there’s a bonus for killing berserker demons. I just found out about it. They’re worth three points each.”

Shade immediately thought of his mother. Sarah visited on rare occasions when she was taking a break from searching for Shadow. The last time she visited, she had given him some small bags of fine powders and told him all about her training as a berserker.

“Would you try to cash in on the bonus? I know you did during your hunt.”

“That was very different. We got a bonus for bringing in angels’ weapons. It wasn’t any extra work really. Reaper and I just killed off a ton of angels.”

“But it’s how you won and that’s when you got your title. Lucia Lightbringer. Oh and by the way… I hope you know that adding a title to your name is really lame.”

“It runs in the family. Dad ran around telling everyone he was Leech the Angel Slayer for years. That was before he became King Leech.”

“So should we go after berserkers or not?”

“Don’t try it. The nephilim stupid enough to take on berserkers are going to get themselves killed. I overheard Mom say that Muan’s entire army is in the area. Just go for sheer numbers of weaker angels and demons. Play to your strengths. I know you and Nissa have a lot of experience bringing in demon heads for contracts and the occasional set of angel’s wings.”

Shade resolved then to hunt berserkers. The challenge excited him and he knew Nissa would feel the same way. He also had a pretty solid feeling that Fade and Backlash would be going straight for the berserkers as well.

“Just in case we run into a berserker, you kill them by taking off their heads, right?”

“That’s right but…”

Shade smiled innocently at Lucia.

“No, Shade. Don’t go after the berserkers.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll have to talk it over with Nissa. We can’t involve you in our hunt strategies. Thank you for the information, though. We’ll make sure you win your bet with your asshole boyfriend.”

“No berserkers, Shade. Promise me.”

“It’s getting late and I need to get some sleep. Big day tomorrow. Good night, Lucia.”

“If you die tomorrow hunting berserkers, I’ll bring you back to life long enough to kill you myself.”

Lucia stood up and left. Shade grinned as he made his way over to his bed. He stepped over Cerberus, who was already snoring loudly, hopped into bed, and fell asleep.

CHAPTER 5

Shade met Nissa and they made their way to the front of the crowd that was waiting to hear King Leech’s opening speech before the hunt. Nissa saw that Shade had brought Cerberus. She leaned down and scratched the ears behind one of his heads. The other two heads got jealous and they growled at her until she scratched their ears as well.

“You think bringing Carebear was a good idea?”

“Don’t call him Carebear. It hurts his ego.”

Nissa raised her eyebrows, still waiting for an answer. Shade looked around and made sure no one was listening to their conversation.

“Yes. We need him if we’re going to track down the berserkers.”

“Your sister visited me last night. She doesn’t think we should go after the berserkers. She wanted me to promise her that we wouldn’t.”

“And?”

“And I told her thanks for the info, but we can plan out our strategy on our own.”

Shade grinned.

“That’s why I love you, Nissa.”

Nissa blushed and then bent down to pet Cerberus so Shade wouldn’t see her reaction. She knew he didn’t mean it like she wanted him to, but the words still caught her off guard. Shade removed a small bag from his pocket and showed it to Nissa.

“It’s the chemicals that the berserker demons snort. My mom gave it to me the last time she visited. I figure we can have Cerberus smell it and lead us right to the berserkers. That’s where we cash in. Three points per berserker kill.”

“Sounds like a solid plan. Have you ever killed a berserker before?”

“No. We’ll be fine though. Just remember to take off their heads. That’s the only way to kill them.”

“That’s ideally how we kill everything.”

“So you’re in? Go for the berserkers?”

“Yup. Let’s do it.”

The gathered nephilim fell silent as Leech walked through the crowd and then turned to face them.

“Welcome, new recruits. Normally I love giving long speeches at the beginning of the hunt, but I don’t have time for that this year. You’ll pair off and be ranked according to the angels’ wings and demon heads you bring back. One point for a pair of angel wings and one point for a demon head. This year, we’re adding in an extra bounty on berserker demons. Each berserker demon head is worth three points. If any of you find the major demon Muan, you are to report it immediately. Do not attempt to fight him. You will lose.”

Steam cleared his throat to get Leech’s attention. Leech looked over at him and nodded.

“My daughter will explain everything else. Happy hunting to all of you!”

The nephilim cheered as Leech walked over to Steam and the two of them left. Lucia held up her hands.

“Minor nephlim and middle nephilim will be patrolling the area. You can summon us at any time with your gloves. Each nephilim will get a pair of gloves that can steal powers from dead angels and demons. If you get enough points to become a minor nephilim, you can keep your gloves. They’re also how you summon us if you need help. Clap three times and the nearest minor or middle nephilim will be there in seconds to help you. The top three teams will become minor nephilim, so there are six total openings. Everyone else will turn in their gloves at the end of the hunt and can try again next year.”

Lucia looked around and saw that the nephilim gloves had been handed out.

“I like to have some fun with the start of the hunt… so here’s what we’re going to do. You can all start when I burst into flames.”

Shade rolled his eyes.

“She’s such a show off.”

“3… 2… 1…”

Lucia’s entire body was engulfed in white flames and the nephilim all rushed off beyond the walls of Necropolis. Shade let Cerberus sniff the berserker chemicals.

“Go find it!”

Cerberus sniffed at the air and ran off beyond the walls. Shade and Nissa followed at a jog. It wasn’t long before the two crossed paths with an angel.

“So the nephilim are out in the open today? Good. We have an army in the area. I’ll go get them after I kill the two of you.”

Shade whistled for Cerberus to come back and then charged the angel. The angel swung at Shade and Shade ducked under the blow. He spun and struck the angel’s side with both of his blades. Instead of digging into the angel’s flesh, he felt his blades bounce off of something hard. Shade rolled and backed away a few steps.

“He has some kind of rock defense magic.”

Nissa nodded and started searching her trench coat. The angel lunged at Shade with a spear and Shade jumped out of the way.

“Have anything?”

“Yes… I just need to find it.”

Shade chopped at the angel’s head with his blade. The sword stuck in the angel’s head and he laughed before he removed it.

“Nissa…”

“Oh here it is.”

Nissa pulled a small bomb from her trench coat and tossed it at the angel. It stuck to his left hand, beeped three times, and then blew the angel into hundreds of tiny, rocklike pieces. Shade retrieved his blade and used it to cut off the angel’s wings before sheathing both of his swords. Nissa touched the pile of rocks with her nephilim gloves and Shade bent down to do the same.

“Rock defense. I guess it’s a pretty cool power. This guy was pretty lame overall, though.”

“You’re just saying that, because I killed him.”

“Your dad would have killed him a lot faster. Why can’t you fit a rocket launcher in your trench coat?”

“Not really sure. No matter how many times we’ve tried to duplicate Dad’s trench coat, we can’t get it exactly the same. Mine holds a lot less. Still more effective than you, though.”

Shade flipped Nissa off and she stuck her tongue out at him before Shade had Cerberus sniff the berserker chemicals again and they were back on the hunt.

Outcast Demons: 5 Chapter Preview

2016-07-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

What follows is the first five chapters of the rough draft version of Outcast Demons. I hope you enjoy it and purchase the book when I release it (hopefully in July or August).

OUTCAST DEMONS

BY: RANDALL J. MORRIS

Copyright © 2016 by Randall J. Morris
Cover by Elizabeth Mackey Graphics
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in critical articles or book reviews.

CHAPTER 1

Bumalin stood at the entrance of the labyrinth clutching a medium-sized rock in his right hand. Most demons and demonesses entered the trials with very little and it generally played a role in their demon placement. Bumalin knew he wasn’t going to become a minor demon after the trials. All he had was a rock.

He looked over at his partner, a demon named Banish. They had never met before the trials and were randomly paired up, as neither of them could find a partner. Banish had a sharp stick and looked like he was about to piss himself. Bumalin thought how stupid the trials were, since most of them would just become demons-in-training. That didn’t really help him in his current situation though.

“Let’s just walk forward slowly. We just need to survive. Maybe we can kill something and then search it for some real weapons. Sound good?”

Banish turned to look at Bumalin and nodded slowly. They started moving forward at a very slow pace, careful to thoroughly search their path before progressing. They came to a fork in the road and Banish looked at Bumalin.

“Flip a coin?”

Bumalin rolled his eyes.

“If I had a coin, do you think I would have come in here with nothing but a rock?”

“Fine then. You pick the way. I’ll follow.”

“We’ll go left. Do me a favor?”

“Yeah?”

“Calm the hell down. We can do this. I’ve always been told that the weaker creatures are at the front of the labyrinth. We can kill one and loot it. It’s going to be fine.”

Banish nodded and took several deep breaths.

“Cool. We can do this. I’m calm. Go ahead, Bumalin. I’ll follow you.”

Bumalin gripped his medium-sized rock tightly and walked forward slowly. When he made it a few more feet, the demons heard a voice.

“There’s no need to move so slowly, demons. I’m not going to jump out at you.”

Bumalin searched for the source of the voice, but saw only darkness.

“Come on out then. We’re ready for you.”

A vampire stepped into view complete with a cape, dark slicked back hair, and a very long sword in his right hand. The sword was dripping blood and the vampire smiled at them.

“I love the trials. So many scared little demons. So many ways to kill them.”

Bumalin took aim and got ready to throw his rock.

“I’ll hit him hard with the rock and you attack with your sharp stick. Easy.”

Bumalin looked over at Banish to confirm that Banish was ready to back him up. He saw that Banish has pissed his pants and was shaking.

“I can’t do this, Bumalin. Good luck.”

Banish stabbed himself in the throat with his sharp stuck, convulsed briefly after he fell to the ground, and then died. The vampire laughed.

“Good help is so hard to find these days. Wouldn’t you agree, young demon?”

“Shut up. I still have a rock.”

The vampire laughed again.

“Right. By all means, attack me with a rock. I’m ready.”

Bumalin stepped sideways and acted as if he was trying to get a better angle. In reality, he was moving closer to Banish’s corpse. Bumalin wound up and tossed the rock as hard as he could. The vampire stepped sideways and the rock sailed past him into the darkness. The vampire advanced, grinning at Bumalin.

“I can make it quick for you. Get down on your knees and bow your head.”

Bumalin got on his knees and started feeling around with his right hand. When he felt the sharp stick in Banish’s throat, he gripped it and bowed his head.

“You promised it would be quick. Let’s go.”

Bumalin felt the vampire’s blade resting on the back of his neck. As it lifted up and the vampire prepared to strike, Bumalin pulled the sharp stick from Banish’s neck and plunged it into the vampire’s heart. The vampire cried out and then turned in to a pile of dust. His cape drifted to the ground and Bumalin caught the long blade on his foot before it hit the floor and made noise. He gently set the sword on the ground with his foot and retrieved the cape. The cape was made of an expensive-looking black material and Bumalin put it on. He then retrieved the sword and realized he had no way of attaching it to himself. Bumalin didn’t own a belt. He looked around and zeroed in on Banish’s corpse once again. He ripped Banish’s shirt and rolled it into a makeshift belt, which he tied around his waist and secured the sword.

“I really wish you weren’t such a coward. I don’t want to do this alone.”

CHAPTER 2

Bumalin continued to move forward slowly. Even with a cool new vampire cape and a sharp sword, he was hoping he could just find his way through without encountering anything else. The trials were stupid. Dozens of demons passed through them at a time and only two or three became minor demons. Everyone else was assigned somewhere as a demon-in-training. Bumalin really wanted to skip ahead to his assignment, especially since the labyrinth was only the first of three trials.

Eventually, Bumalin heard a low growl and saw a wolf step out of the shadows.

“Damn. I was really hoping I could just sneak through here. Oh well.”

Bumalin drew his blade and the wolf’s growling got louder. Bumalin was surprised when it stopped growling and asked him a question.

“Are you a vampire?”

“I uh… I killed a vampire. I didn’t know wolves could talk.”

“Most can’t. I’m a labyrinth wolf. I can talk.”

“So… would you be interested in a free, easy meal?”

The wolf grinned.

“You think that little of your own sword skills? That’s sad, vampire.”

“I’m not a vampire. I’m a demon in a vampire cape and I wasn’t talking about me. I’m not the meal. I’m willing to make a deal with you.”

The wolf sat, listening intently.

“I know where a demon corpse is. You don’t want some random cyclops or sphinx or whatever finding it before you do. I can tell you exactly how to get there.”

“What’s the catch? You get to suck my blood?”

“I’m not a vampire. I’m guessing you can get me out of here without running into any more creatures. Guide me out quickly and I’ll draw you a map on the floor with my sword.”

“Is it a big demon corpse?”

“He was pretty normal sized. Do you agree to my terms? Think quickly, there could be something on its way there right now.”

The wolf nodded.

“I accept your terms, vampire. Follow me.”

The wolf turned and ran. Bumalin followed. The wolf led him on a path that completely avoided fights, even though they had to sneak past a few creatures. When they reached the exit gates, Bumalin drew his sword.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to scratch a map into the floor with this sword.”

The wolf looked at him like he was crazy.

“You don’t have anything to write on?”

“I told you I’d draw you a map with my sword. You accepted my terms.”

“Hold on. I’ll be back in a minute.”

The wolf turned and ran off into the labyrinth. Bumalin leaned on his sword and waited. Eventually, the wolf returned carrying a roll of parchment and a feather in its mouth. He spat out both items in front of Bumalin and looked up.

“Draw the map on these.”

“With what? You didn’t bring me any ink.”

“You’re a vampire. I just sort of figured you would have some blood on you to write with.”

“For the last fucking time… I… AM… NOT… A… VAMPIRE!”

“But you have a vampire cape and threatened to drink my blood.”

“I never threatened to drink your blood.”

Bumalin really wanted to just kill the wolf and leave, but realized that the wolf was right. He could just make the map using his own blood for ink. Bumalin made a shallow cut in his left palm and dipped the feather in his blood. He drew out a map on the parchment, marking Banish’s corpse with an “X,” and placed it on the floor. The wolf looked at it for a few minutes, rolled up the parchment with his paw, and then grabbed it with his mouth.

“Fank you, fampire.”

The wolf turned and ran off into the labyrinth. Bumalin was glad all of that nonsense was over. He turned to the exit and realized that he didn’t know how to open the gate. He looked around until he finally saw writing above the gate.

I am greater than God and more evil than the devil. The poor have me, the rich need me, and if you eat me, you’ll die. Speak the answer and the gate will open.

Bumalin thought for several minutes but couldn’t figure it out. He started blurting out random words.

“Apples.”

Nothing happened.

“Tree bark.”

Nothing happened.

“The moon.”

Nothing happened. Bumalin put his sword back on his belt and sat down. He thought hard for several minutes more. He hoped talking it out would guide him to the answer.

“Greater than God. I don’t know anything greater than God. Same goes for more evil than the devil. The poor don’t have… oh it’s some bullshit like love, isn’t it?”

Bumalin stood and positioned himself back in front of the gate.

“Love.”

Nothing happened.

“Hate.”

Nothing happened.

“I give up! This riddle doesn’t make any sense! Nothing is more evil than the Dragon!”

The gate opened after Bumalin said the word “nothing.” He thought it over and realized that “nothing” was actually the answer. He grinned and walked out of the labyrinth. A giant immediately placed a sack over his head, hoisted him over his shoulder, and started walking away.

CHAPTER 3

When the giant had finished his journey, he set Bumalin down hard on a chair while two smaller demons tied his hands to the chair’s legs. The sack was removed from Bumalin’s head and he realized he was in a small, dark room looking at a demon he didn’t know. The demon looked him over and then began some kind of interrogation. Bumalin realized he was probably in trouble.

“You drew a map of the labyrinth for one of the labyrinth wolves. Was someone helping you with the trials?”

“No. I have a good memory. It wasn’t a big deal and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t cheating. I thought the labyrinth didn’t have any rules.”

“It doesn’t. You expect me to believe that you just remembered the way back to that other guy’s corpse?”

“I don’t care what you believe. If you’re going to kill me, just get it over with. I’ve had a very annoying day. Can you bring in a hot chick before you kill me though? I don’t want your face to be the last thing I see. Any of Vixen’s daughters would be fine.”

“You’ve got a mouth on you. I’m not sure if we like that.”

“We? I only see one asshole in the room with me. What’s going on?”

“What’s going on is that we have an immediate opening for a demon-in-training spot in the Philippines working for a minor demon under General Lucian. The official title is secret storer. You seem like you have a good memory and there’s no way you’re becoming a minor demon after taking three hours and forty-seven minutes to make it through the labyrinth.”

“You mean I could skip the next two trials and just get on with the boring work assignment part of my life? I’m in.”

“I’m still deciding if we want you. If I say no, you’re out of here and it’s time to get ready for the second trial.”

“Look… I didn’t mean to imply that you’re ugly. I’m sure you uh… clean up nice. I just don’t enjoy being carried by an ogre to a dark room with a sack over my head after killing a vampire and befriending the world’s most annoying wolf.”

The demon grinned.

“Yeah… we were watching that. Nice cape, vampire.”

“For fuck’s sake. Don’t start with that shit.”

“Or you’ll suck my blood?”

“You’re making it very difficult to not say mean things about you.”

A demon walked into the room and placed a wooden box on the table in front of Bumalin. He turned and exited without saying a word.

“Good. It’s here. This is a minor ring of power. We don’t normally give them to demons-in-training, but we make an exception for secret storers. It enhances your memory and works best when a demon has a good memory to begin with. Some of our best secret storers even have eidetic memories. I doubt it will do that well for you, but that’s what we’re here to find out. If you fail our test in here, we send you on to the second demon placement trial.”

“You gonna untie me so I can put the minor memory ring on?”

The demon pulled Bumalin’s sword from his belt and slashed at the ropes that bound Bumalin to the chair. His aim wasn’t perfect and Bumalin started to bleed a little from his wrists.

“Great. Thanks for that. I was hoping for open wounds on both my wrists to match the one on my left palm.”

“Quit bitching. Put the ring on and we’ll give you the test. I’m going to recommend we don’t take you unless you have an eidetic memory because you’re a whiny little asshole.”

“Come on. That’s not cool. You cut my wrists.”

The demon slammed a piece of paper on the table. Bumalin jumped back slightly and almost fell back in the chair.

“This sheet of paper has a long-ass number on it. Put on the ring. Memorize the number. You’ll have five minutes. When your five minutes are up, I’ll come back in the room and give you a blank sheet of paper. You’ll write as much of the number as you remember. That’s the test. I’ll give the both papers to my superiors and tell them you’re a sucky demon that we don’t really want. I hope they listen.”

The demon turned and abruptly left the room. Bumalin put the memory ring on his finger and looked at the piece of paper. He was able to commit most of the number to memory within a few minutes but realized he was going to have trouble with the last couple of lines. Realizing that he was running out of time, Bumalin dipped his fingers in the blood slowly trickling out of his wrists and wrote the last part of the number on one of the legs of the table without getting out of his chair or moving too much. He kept his eyes on the paper in case they were watching him. He could see the table leg if he turned his head slightly to the right. He ran through the majority of the number in his head one more time before the demon returned and took the paper away. He put a blank piece of paper in its place with a feather pen and a bottle of ink.

“Alright. Write as much of it as you can remember.”

“Are you going to recommend me if I can remember the whole thing?”

“Nope.”

“Great. I’m glad you don’t let petty bullshit get in the way.”

Before the demon could respond, Bumalin started writing. The demon came over and stood next to Bumalin, blocking his view of the table leg.

“You can’t remember the whole thing, can you?”

Bumalin didn’t look up.

“It’s kind of hard to with you distracting me like this. If you leave the room, I can focus and write down the whole thing.”

“I’m not going anywhere…”

A demon entered the room.

“Alastor wants you out. He wants to see what the kid can do without distractions.”

The demon approached the demon at Bumalin’s side and grabbed his arm to escort him out. He shook it off.

“Fine. He won’t remember it anyways. He lied to the wolf and he’s lying to us.”

“Alastor said the wolf got the corpse. This guy’s map was accurate.”

The two demons left the room and Bumalin titled his head slightly, chewing on the feather as if he was thinking. He saw the rest of the numbers on the table leg and committed them to memory. Within thirty seconds, he had written them down on the paper. He waved the paper in the air.

“All done. It’s the full number. I have an eidetic memory, asshat. Go tell Alastor or whoever your boss is.”

The demon angrily entered the room and roughly grabbed the paper from Bumalin’s hand. He compared it to the original. Several minutes later, he looked back over at Bumalin.

“Luck. That’s all any of this is. I hope you end up with me in the Philippines. In fact, I’m going to request it so I can make your life a miserable nightmare.”

“You’re a minor demon then? Can I request that you not be my boss?”

The demon flipped Bumalin off before he turned and left the room. Bumalin used his cape to wipe the bloody numbers off of the table leg.

CHAPTER 4

After a considerable amount of time, the giant that had carried Bumalin into the room showed up. He offered Bumalin the same sack and Bumalin sighed before putting it over his head. The giant lifted him up out of the chair and slowly stomped his way towards an unknown destination. A few minutes later, the giant set Bumalin down and removed the sack. Bumalin saw a large gate and the giant pointed at it before turning and walking away. Bumalin approached the gate and looked around.

“Yes?”

A voice came out of nowhere and Bumalin looked for its source.

“I uh… I… don’t really know what the hell I’m doing here. This is where the giant dropped me off. My name is Bumalin and…”

The gate slowly started to creak open. Bumalin waited for someone to respond.

“Well go in. Alastor is expecting you.”

Bumalin once again searched for the source of the voice but couldn’t find it.

“That’s creepy. I don’t like conversations with demons I can’t see.”

Bumalin started walking up the path, now realizing that he no longer had his sword. The minor demon that had given him a memory test had taken it with him. At the end of the road, a demoness waited for Bumalin.

“Alastor wants to see you before he sends you off to the Philippines. Follow me.”

“So I passed the test then? I’m getting an assignment?”

The demoness looked embarrassed.

“Um… maybe. Hey… let’s just pretend I didn’t say anything, ok?”

“Oh. You weren’t supposed to tell me. No worries, babe. I can act surprised.”

The demoness didn’t respond. She led Bumalin to a large metal door and disappeared inside without opening it.

“Wall phasing powers. Cool.”

Bumalin took a seat on a marble bench next to the large metal door and waited. The demoness appeared a few minutes later and opened the door for Bumalin.

“Alastor will see you now and discuss your test results.”

“Right. Thanks.”

Bumalin entered the large room and saw Alastor sitting in a comfortable chair behind a large desk. Bumalin nodded, unsure what he was supposed to do. Alastor gestured at a chair in front of the desk.

“Have a seat, Bumalin.”

“Thank you… um… Lord Alastor?”

“That’s correct. I’m the middle demon of secrets under General Lucian. The department of lies is very interested in you after your performance in the labyrinth. The wolf found the corpse, by the way. What’s even more impressive is this…”

Alastor placed two pieces of paper on the table facing Bumalin. They were the number he was given and his attempt at copying it from memory.

“A perfect match. We’ve had secret storers who develop and eidetic memory over time but it’s rare that a demon-in-training has one with nothing but a minor memory ring. Is your memory perfect without the ring?”

“Afraid not, sir. I have an excellent memory but it was the ring that put me over the top.”

“Well I’m sold. We want to pull you from the trials so you can begin your assignment immediately in the Philippines. Menace went on and on about what a great asset you would be to his team.”

“Menace is the minor demon who gave me the test?”

“Yup. He requested that you be transferred to his army immediately.”

“Lord Alastor… I… don’t really know how to put this…”

“You think Menace is an asshole and you don’t want to work for him.”

Bumalin looked at the floor, unsure how to respond. Alastor laughed.

“Its fine, Bumalin. This is the department of lies. You think I can’t tell when one of my minor demons is full of shit?”

Bumalin grinned. He was starting to think Alastor was alright.

“You’re being assigned to a minor demon named Scarecrow. He works up in the mountains in the Philippines, in an area called Baguio. We’re seeing expansive growth in that area and he needs an eidetic memory secret storer a lot more than Menace does.”

“Can I have my sword back, sir? I took a long blade from a vampire in the labyrinth and Menace took it from me during that memory test.”

“Demons-in-training don’t get swords. They usually don’t get a meeting with me, either. You can keep the vampire cape but you’re only allowed one of these for self-defense in case of an angel attack plus any weapons temporarily assigned to you during battle.”

Alastor placed a large knife on the table. Bumalin took it and attached it to his belt.

“Don’t worry, though. We’ll get you some good weapons when you become a minor demon. Do what Scarecrow tells you and you’ll be alright.”

Bumalin was disappointed that his sword was gone but knew there was no point arguing about it. There probably wasn’t a great reason why the rule was put in place, but once a rule existed it took ten times the effort to get it removed. At least he could keep the cape that everyone mocked him for. He was starting to wonder if he shouldn’t have just kept his medium-sized rock. No one would want to take that away from him.

Alastor placed a gold coin on the table and Bumalin pocketed it without waiting for an explanation.

“That’s for Charon. He’ll get you to the surface with the latest batch of recruits. I have high hopes for you, Bumalin. You’re on the track to becoming a minor demon. Just follow Scarecrow’s lead.”

Bumalin nodded but was annoyed on the inside. Being a minor demon would allow him to carry a sword again, even though he had already earned one for himself in the labyrinth and they had taken it away from him. Bumalin got up from his seat and left. The same demoness that had led him to Alastor’s office was waiting for him outside the door.

“You didn’t say anything, did you? You didn’t get me in trouble?”

“No. I let Alastor give me the same news. I didn’t even mention you. Stop worrying about it.”

The demoness seemed mostly relieved. She started walking towards one of Hell’s rivers and beckoned Bumalin to follow.

“Thanks. Most demons tend to blackmail me when I screw up.”

Bumalin had been thinking about blackmailing her, but thought it would feel weird after she had just said something like that.

“Really. It’s no problem. It was a slip of the tongue. No need to hold it over your head.”

They reached a skeletal figure in a black hood and cloak. He held a scythe in his left hand and held out his open right palm as they approached. The demoness turned and started walking back briskly but slowed her pace for a few seconds. She looked back and saw Bumalin fishing through his pocket to find the coin for Charon. She turned and went back.

“I’d like us to be even.”

Bumalin finally pulled the coin from his pocket and placed it in Charon’s open palm. Charon pointed to the boat.

“It was no big deal.”

“You saw me walk through the door back there. I can phase in and out of walls. It’s a minor demon power, but I’ve figured out how to get the same effect from a potion I work on after hours.”

The demoness placed a small vial filled with clear liquid in Bumalin’s hand and then closed his fingers around it.

“It’ll work three times. Drink a third of the vial each time. We’re even now.”

The demoness turned and ran back to Alastor’s estate. Bumalin pocketed the vial and got on the boat. He found a seat near the middle and waited for other demons to arrive and board. A few of them looked at his vampire cape and snickered. He thought he might have the seat all to himself until the last demoness to board scanned Charon’s boat and then sat next to Bumalin.

CHAPTER 5

Bumalin was torn. The demoness sitting next to him was cute, but he was getting pretty tired. He ran a rough calculation of the amount of time he had spent sleeping and eating over the past day and the number was frustratingly low. He decided on a compromise. If she started talking, he would talk to her. If she didn’t, he was going to take a nap. He started to close his eyes when he felt a hand feeling his cape.

“I like your cape. What’s it made out of?”

Damn. Bumalin had been starting to hope for the nap.

“I’m not really sure. I got it in the labyrinth off of a vampire I killed. Did you make it out of there with anything useful?”

The demoness gestured to the knife on her belt. Bumalin looked confused.

“I thought they give those to all the demons-in-training.”

“They do. Had I known that, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep this with me through the entire labyrinth.”

Bumalin grinned. The demoness smiled back at him.

“My name’s Alexa, but my friends just call me Lexi.”

“Bumalin.”

“What job did they give you, Bumalin?”

“Secret storer.”

Lexi punched Bumalin in the arm.

“No way! We have the same job! How did you do on the memory test?”

“Um… pretty well.”

“Oh. You don’t want to tell me your score?”

“My score?”

“Didn’t they give you a score? I got 94% of the number correct.”

“Oh ok. Good job.”

“Don’t be an ass, Bumalin. I told you my score. Now tell me yours.”

“You won’t like me if I do.”

Lexi punched him in the arm again.

“Stop doing that.”

“How much of the…”

“I got the whole damn number! Ok?”

Bumalin thought that would be the end of their conversation and he could finally take his nap. Instead, Lexi looked at him with wide eyes.

“You have an eidetic memory?”

“Well only when I have that minor memory ring on. My memory is just pretty good without it.”

“That… is so… COOL!”

“Keep your voice down. The other demons will think you’re weird.”

Lexi waved his comment off dismissively.

“Oh I don’t care what they think.”

“I imagine that’s been a useful trait for you.”

Lexi tried to punch Bumalin in the arm again but he slid slightly away from her on the seat and she missed. Bumalin grinned.

“So are you going to be an arrogant jerk about your score? Can we not be friends now?”

“Of course not… Ms. 94. I mean… Lexi.”

Lexi laughed.

“Bumalin, I think we’re going to be friends.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?”

“No.”

“Ok. I have a really important question to ask you if we’re going to be friends.”

“Ask it.”

Bumalin’s stomach growled.

“Do you have anything to eat or drink?”

Lexi nodded and pulled a small can from a sack on her belt.

“It’s the soul of a farmer who killed his neighbor. I stole it from Alastor’s personal stash back there. He was too busy to meet with me and I took it personally. We can share it.”

Bumalin grabbed the can from her hand and propped the lid off with his knife. He took a deep gulp and drained half of the can before handing it back to Lexi.

“Fuck yeah. That hit the spot. Now I kind of want a nap so…”

“Are you telling me to leave you alone? You just wanted half my can of murderer and that’s it?”

“No. I have a warm vampire cape. I was wondering if you want to take a nap with me.”

Lexi grinned and then pointed at the front of the boat. They had reached land.

“I guess I’ll take a rain check on that nap.”

Lexi gulped the rest of the soul in the can and hopped out of the boat. She motioned for Bumalin to follow. Bumalin got to his feet and stumbled towards the front of the ship. He ended up tripping and landing hard on the sandy beach outside the ship. Several demons laughed. Lexi helped him to his feet.

“Wow. You weren’t kidding. You really need a nap. Why are you so tired?”

“They took me directly from the labyrinth to that testing room. The asshole who gave me the test took forever. He kept interrupting and causing problems. I haven’t slept since before the labyrinth.”

“That sucks. They recruited me after the second trial so they gave me a whole day to rest while my batch finished the last trial. I feel great.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t. We’re friends. Remember? I decided we’re friends.”

“Oh. Right. I hate you, friend.”

“Wow. You get cranky when you’re tired.”

Bumalin started to walk forward on the sand. He tripped again, but Lexi caught him this time. She put his arm around her shoulder. The minor demon in charge was long gone, a long ways up the trail. Lexi and Bumalin moved slowly at the back of the line. As darkness started to set in, Lexi started to worry that all of the other demons were too far ahead.

“Bumalin?”

Lexi thought she heard Bumalin snore.

“No wonder you’ve been so slow. You fucking fell asleep on me.”

Lexi removed her Bumalin’s arm from her shoulders and he fell to the ground, sound asleep.

“Damn it, Bumalin! We’re going to get in trouble.”

Lexi kneeled down and slapped Bumalin hard across the face.

“Ow!”

Bumalin looked around.

“Hey! When did it get this dark outside and why am I on the ground?”

“We fell behind and you fell asleep.”

Bumalin sat up and stretched his arms.

“Well I feel great. Demons should get more nap time.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t. You decided we’re friends.”

“I just undecided that. You made me carry your lazy ass for miles. I’m honestly surprised your feet continued to move.”

“You know you want to be friends with me, Lexi. Who else are you going to be friends with? There’s no one else around here.”

Bumalin heard some rustling in the nearby bushes. He drew his knife and jumped up to his feet. He got between Lexi and the area the noise had come from.

“There’s something in the bushes. Get your weapon out.”

Lexi drew her knife and elbowed Bumalin hard in the ribs.

“This never would have happened if we could have kept up with the group.”

“Or if the idiots in charge wouldn’t have kept me awake for 24 hours… or if they had let me take a nap and go with the next batch of demons-in-training… or if you had let me nap on Charon’s boat… or…”

“Shut up.”

Lexi pointed at a particular bush that seemed to be moving. Bumalin nodded. Bumalin held up three fingers, then two, then one. An angel sprang out of the bushes, swinging two swords. His eyes lit up with white light and the blades started to glow seconds later.

“My name is Zephon and I’m the minor angel of household protection. Prepare to die, demons.”

Bumalin tried hard not to laugh.

“Why the hell would there be a minor angel of something stupid like household protection?”

The question caught Zephon off guard.

“It’s not stupid. It’s awesome. Prepare to die, demons.”

Bumalin spoke quietly to Lexi while removing the vial from his pocket.

“He won’t be able to hurt me. Get behind him and attack right after I do. Got it?”

“There it is. There’s the overconfidence. You have an eidetic memory so somehow…”

“It has nothing to do with that.” Bumalin showed her the vial and quickly downed a third of it. Lexi nodded and started slowly making her way towards Zephon’s back. Zephon pointed a sword at each of them and kept his swords in line with them as they moved. Bumalin yelled and swung his knife wildly before attacking. Zephon laughed. As Bumalin approached, Zephon took careful aim and put his sword cleanly through Bumalin’s neck. Bumalin tried as hard as he could to mimic a shocked facial expression.

“Now! Do it now!”

Lexi stabbed her knife in between Zephon’s shoulder blades. The angel fell forward on his knees. Bumalin put his knife back on his belt. The sword had passed right through his neck.

“Demon sorcery!”

“Sort of. I met this demoness before I met Alastor. She could phase through walls and doors and stuff. So what happened was…”

“Bumalin, why are you explaining your potion to a dead angel?”

Bumalin looked at the ground and saw the unmoving corpse of the angel.

“Damn. Now no one wants to hear my story.”

Lexi hit him hard in the arm.

“Wrong. I don’t think I like where the story was going, but I’ll be damned if you’re not going to tell me the rest of it.”

Smart Home: A Review of 3 Smart House Products

2016-06-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

When I get home at night, I get out my phone and give it a voice command. That one command unlocks my door, turns on the lights in two rooms, and changes my thermostat from Away to Home. What follows is a review of the 3 smart house products and the iPhone app that helped me get everything set up so that parts of my house are voice controllable. These 3 devices work with Apple's Homekit (two of the three also work with Amazon's Alexa) and they allow me to control them via Siri voice commands. If you're considering any of the products here, please use the link I provided as I get a small commission from Amazon. Thanks.

Smart Thermostat: Ecobee 3

The Ecobee is a smart thermostat that responds to voice commands from both Apple's Siri and Amazon's Alexa. You can preset comfort settings (temperature ranges) for both Home and Away and even control your house temperature remotely. Since installing an Ecobee, I got a check from Questar for about $100 for installing a smart thermostat and I save about 20% monthly on my energy bill.

Installation: The installation wasn't too bad, but it may require putting an adapter on your furnace. It was a little nerve racking installing the adapter thinking that worst case scenario I could blow up my house. Fortunately, that's not how it played out. Other than that, everything was pretty easy to install. Here are a few pictures:

The larger black square is the Ecobee and the small white square is a room sensor. The room sensors allow you to control the temperature in different areas of your house. The Ecobee comes with one room sensor and you can add up to 32 total. I have mine in my bedroom. The entire install took about half an hour.

App: The Ecobee app is pretty basic, but it allows for easy control of the Ecobee from both inside and outside your house / home network. Before I had the voice macro commands set up, I used to set my house temperature right before I went home from work. By the time I arrived home, the house was done either heating or cooling. I haven't had any issues with Siri voice commands or macro commands I've set up (like the "I'm home" command I mentioned earlier). You can check out the Ecobee on Amazon by clicking here.

Smart Lock: Schlage Sense

The Schlage Sense is a lock that uses low-energy bluetooth to communicate with voice commands via Siri. There's also an option of punching in a 4-8 digit code that you can set up and change via the app and you can always use the key that comes with it instead.

Installation: The Sense lock was pretty easy to install with one minor issue. When I initially installed it, I could get it to unlock but couldn't get it to lock. I called customer service and they walked me through a factory reset (the reset process wasn't in the manual). Their customer service was great. After that, the installation went smooth and everything worked. Here are some photos of what it comes with and what it looks like on an actual door:

The entire install took about 45 minutes if you include the phone call I had to make to their support team. If you don't run into that problem, I imagine it could be installed in half an hour or less.

App: The app has issues with seeing the lock via bluetooth on rare occasions, but it's generally fine. The app allows you to lock or unlock the door and it allows you to create temporary or permanent 4-8 digit passcodes that you can punch in on the number pad to get in. This is a great feature if you have multiple people using the door and you want everyone to have their own passcode. It's also great if you just want to let someone in temporarily, because you can delete the passcode after it's used. The app also tracks when the door opens and closes, so you can be aware of what times the door was unlocked and locked. You can check out the Schlage Sense on Amazon by clicking here.

Smart Lights: Philips Hue

Philips Hue lights are LED bulbs available in both white and color that can be controlled by Apple's Siri and Amazon's Alexa. The starter kit comes with the router attachment and two white bulbs. I ordered an additional two bulbs to control the lighting in four areas of my house.

Installation: The installation was pretty easy. There's a small white box that plugs into your router via Ethernet and then the majority of the set up takes place from the app after the lights are installed and turned on. The app took a few minutes to do a firmware upgrade on the router attachment. Here's what it the router attachment looks like:

Setting up everything, including swapping in the LED bulbs, took about 20 minutes. I took the extra step of naming each of the bulbs for the room they're in to make Siri commands easier.

App: I've heard that there are some issues with the app and color bulbs, but it works flawlessly with the white LED bulbs. You can turn lights on or off via the app or turn them on or off with Siri. You can also group lights in the same area together to make things easier. You can check out the Philips Hue Starter Kit on Amazon here.

The "I'm Home" voice command

After setting up a smart thermostat, a smart lock, and smart lights, I wanted them all to work together with a macro command. Apple has announced that there will be a Homekit app available in iOS 10, but there's a free app available right now that works really well with Homekit devices after you figure it out. The app is called Hesperus and it's available from the Apple App Store. Once I downloaded it and it added my devices, I was able to make a "scene" called "I'm home." Now when I get home from work, I say "Hey Siri, I'm home." Within a few seconds, my door unlocks, my thermostat changes from Away to Home, and the lights in two rooms turn on. Companies are working with Apple more and more to release new Homekit products. There's now a fireproof safe, smoke detectors, and even a security system that you can control with Homekit.

Additionally, some of these products can take voice commands from Amazon's voice assistant, Alexa. To look into that route, check out the Amazon Echo here.

The Lost Art of Wet Shaving

2016-05-22T14:51:00.001-07:00

Note: It looks like Chisel Shave Club went out of business (as far as I can tell), so I'll remove the links that go nowhere but leave my review intact.

Following my review of the Mach 3 vs. Dollar Shave Club razors, I was contacted by Chisel Shave Club, a company offering a monthly subscription service for wet shave products. They asked if I'd like to try out one of their boxes for free and I said sure. They sent me a box of shaving supplies in early January and it here's what it contained:

They included a list of steps on how to wet shave on the back of the welcome letter. I decided I would check Youtube for a how-to video before I attempted any of this, even though the instructions seemed pretty straight forward. I found a video of a Scottish guy that teaches you how to wet shave. You can check that out here.

The Razor
With wet shaving, you unscrew the top of the safety razor and place a blade in the middle before screwing it back on. Here's what the razor and blades from Chisel Shave Club look like:

I tried the Astra blade and carefully followed the steps in the Youtube video and on the back of the Chisel Shave Club card before attempting to shave my head. I've read that these blades can last 4-6 shaves, but that's probably for beards. I have enough razors that I'll replace these more often than that, as shaving your head is a lot more involved than shaving your beard.

Wet Shave
I used the Dr. Squatch Cedar Citrus Soap Bar in a bowl and worked it into a lather. Then I used the shaving brush from the Chisel Shave Club box to apply it to my head (your head should be wet before you do this). When compared to shaving with my electric razor or Dollar Shave Club razor, here's what I found:

1. Wet shaving takes longer. I knew this going in. It took me almost twice as long, but that's probably because it was my first time and I didn't really know what I was doing, even after the Scottish dude explained it to me in the Youtube video.

2. Wet shaving gets a closer shave. It may take more time, but wet shaving resulted in a closer shave with less irritation than I usually get from my Dollar Shave Club Executive blades or my electric razor.

3. Wet shaving eliminates hair getting caught in between razor blades. The Dollar Shave Club Executive blade with 6x razors clogs pretty easily and I've noted that I have to hit it against the side of the sink. While I occasionally had to clean the safety razor while shaving, that part is much easier and quicker than clearing out clogs in my regular razor blades.

After Shave
I used the Brickell Instant Relief Aftershave included in the Chisel Shave Club box. It smells like a combo of coconut and mint and cooled my head. Good stuff.

Pricing
I asked their press team for a pricing structure for their subscription box and here's what they told me:

We currently offer a month to month subscription for $29.99/mo with the option to add on a safety razor handle and shaving brush to the first month’s box for an additional cost. We also offer:

A 3 month prepaid plan for $28.99/mo
A 6 month prepaid plan for $27.99/mo that comes with a free safety razor handle and shaving brush in the first box.
A 1 year prepaid plan for $26.99/mo that comes with a free safety razor handle and shaving brush in the first box.

If you'd like to try Chisel Shave Club, you can get 10% off by using coupon code RANDALLM10
at checkout.

Conclusion

I'll need a few more shaves to say anything definitively but I did enjoy trying this out. I'm going to try it again next week and I imagine it will take a lot less time. The soaps and after shave smell great. I'd say try it out for a month and see what you think.

Book Sales Breakdown 2015

2016-01-15T20:25:00.001-08:00

I still enjoy adding up how many copies each of my books has sold at the end of the year. Since there's a three day weekend coming up and I'm almost done with my homework, I decided I would get this blog post ready to go. My goal for 2015 was originally set at 800 book sales. I met that at some point in October or November. I increased the goal to 1,000 at that point. I missed 1,000 sales but not by much. Like my 2014 breakdown, I'm going to break down my sales from most sold to least sold and all of the cover images are linked to the Amazon page for that book if you want to check anything out or purchase a copy. When I list a current price, that is the price of the ebook (and generally the price that the book sold at for all of 2015). Total sold is the number of books sold of that title since it was published.

Ebook Sales: 303
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $4.99
Books Sold 2015: 305
Total Sold: 305

Middle Demons is my first book to break 300 sales. It was also one of the only books I released in 2015. I actually finished writing it during a three week break in between law school semesters. It sold a lot of copies when it was first released and then spiked again during the early summer. This book continues where Minor Demons left off and sets the stage for Major Demons, which I'm working on right now. I hope to release Major Demons at some point in 2016.

Ebook Sales: 229
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 3
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 232
Total Sold: 283

Minor Demons is now my third book to break 200 sales and will likely be the second to break 300. I did have it free for a while and gave away around 4,000 copies with a couple of ads. I'm thinking about taking it back to free to boost sales of Middle Demons. I was hoping to have Major Demons out sooner, but law school got in the way again. The nice thing about Minor Demons having a price tag was that it got to ride the wave when Middle Demons was first launched and spiked in the summer. I get more emails and messages from readers telling me how much they enjoyed Minor Demons than any other book I've written so far. That's always good to hear about the first book in the series you're writing.

Ebook Sales: 45
Audio Book Sales: 8
Paperback Sales: 25
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 78
Total Sold: 115

My article on Luther Standing Bear joins the ranks of my books that have sold more than 100 copies. I honestly don't know how many are at that point anymore. Luther Standing Bear had uncharacteristically high sales this year and I think it came from the fact that new editions of Luther Standing Bear's books were released or republished. My article appears in the also-bought section on pretty much all of them, which drove traffic to my shorter, less expensive article. Luther Standing Bear also came in first for paperback sales (though it didn't make the most money of any paperback, it just sold the most copies).

Ebook Sales: 29
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 17
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2015: 46
Total Sold: 46

Traveling the Caribbean was one of the few books I released in 2015. It has pictures and brief histories for all the historical and interesting locations we visited in Puerto Rico, St. Maarten, St. Kitts, Antigua, St. Lucia, and Barbados. It includes the remains of forts, plantations, windmills, ship dockyards, and a shipwreck as seen from a submarine. Definitely worth checking out. It ended up selling the third most paperback copies and it's doing really well so far this year as well.

Ebook Sales: 18
Audio Book Sales: 19
Paperback Sales: 7
Current Price: $0.99
Books Sold 2015: 43
Total Sold: 159

These seven short stories from my days as a computer tech were written for an eight hour writing challenge. The collection also ended up selling the most copies of any of my books in 2014, due in large part to its audio book sales. It ended up selling the most audio books in 2015 as well, but that wasn't a whole lot. I didn't release any new audio books in 2015. With the change in the contract terms ACX threw at authors and narrators, it just isn't worth the time to do royalty splits anymore and I don't have the money to front any new ones. All that being said, Horror Stories still came in at fifth place and sold a respectable amount. The cover was created by me with a pencil, paper, scanner, and MS Paint (because I only had eight hours to finish the whole thing). It's a terrible cover. I'm not sure why it keeps selling, but the fact that it does still amuses me.

Ebook Sales: 21
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 20
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2015: 41
Total Sold: 103

Traveling the U.S.: East Coast History is the longest in my World Travels series and it has the most pictures. It came in second place overall in 2014 and just sold its 100th copy not too long ago. It also came in second this year for most paperbacks sold (and it made me the most money of any paperback). It covers a lot of cool stuff, including the Capitol, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the White House, Arlington National Cemetery, Mount Vernon, Monitcello, Jamestown (with excavation photos), Gettysburg, Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, the 9/11 Memorial, and more. It was one of the coolest vacations ever and I loved putting the book together when we got back.

Ebook Sales: 21
Audio Book Sales: 3
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 28
Total Sold: 68

Gateway to the Vikings sold 20 copies a year for the first two years it was available. This year, I removed it from being an Amazon exclusive and sold some copies at Barnes and Noble and Apple, bringing it up to 28 copies sold this year. I researched L'Anse aux Meadows, the North American Viking settlement, for a Scandinavian history class when I was still getting my undergraduate degree in history. We're planning on actually visiting there this year and a travel photo book will likely follow shortly afterwards.

Ebook Sales: 15
Audio Book Sales: 7
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 26
Total Sold: 237

My article on Constantine will always be awesome, even as it fades in sales over time. It was my first book to sell 100 copies and my first book to sell 200 copies. It also was my best selling book in 2012 and 2013. It's a modified version of my senior thesis that I wrote for my history degree. It goes into the empire Constantine established that balanced the rights of pagans and the emerging religion of Christianity. It also looks into trends after Constantine died. If they kept the empire tolerant, the empire prospered. If an emperor leaned to heavily towards favoring Christians (Theodosius) or pagans (Julian) then the empire erupted in civil war. It really is a great read for the price and will be an interesting article for anyone who enjoys looking into the Roman and Byzantine empires.

Ebook Sales: 12
Audio Book Sales: 2
Paperback Sales: 10
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 24
Total Sold: 129

I wrote Explanations and Advice for the Tech Illiterate in 2012 when computer clients asked about a book that would help them learn the basics and I didn't know of a good one. This short guide gives a basic understanding of home theater audio and video, audio and video cables, computer viruses, email security, encryption and passwords, backing up your data, and computer speed / startup items. It's also a member of the 100+ sales club. I wrote the final book in the Tech Illiterate series earlier this year and I love the reviews I get on all three of these books. I'm really glad they're helping people.

Ebook Sales: 8
Audio Book Sales: 9
Paperback Sales: 5
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 22
Total Sold: 136

Caribbean Piracy: Pirates and Privateers is another article I wrote during my undergrad days. It explores the government-like structure set up by the Caribbean pirates (and privateers) of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. It goes really well with my travel photo book of the Caribbean. Like my article on Constantine, sales have fallen, but it's still a member of the 100+ copies sold club. I picked up the shark tooth knife and monkey mask on the cover in Hawaii. The dagger is a spear head dagger I had custom made the last time I was in the Philippines.

Ebook Sales: 14
Audio Book Sales: 3
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $0.99
Books Sold 2015: 17
Total Sold: 30

Geek of Legend: The Goblin Anti-Virus is the second book in my Geek of Legend short story series. These short stories follow Robert as he fixes broken computers and technology in a world of dwarves, trolls, goblins, elves, and talking horses. In this story, Robert is sent in to kill a virus that the goblin anti-virus company created to drum up business for themselves. More geeky troll riddles. More fun with a mixture of tech from our world and creatures from another. My sister actually drew the goblin on the cover. I would love to write more of these, but they'll need to sell more copies before I can justify the time to do that. They're very funny and entertaining if you have a dollar to spare for a copy.

Ebook Sales: 13
Audio Book Sales: 3
Paperback Sales: 1
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 17
Total Sold: 57

This article actually tied The Goblin Anti-Virus for sales in 2015, so I just went alphabetically. This is another article from my history undergrad days. It follows the use of Archangels and other intercessory beings in the Book of Tobit, the story of Joseph and Aseneth, the Book of Daniel, the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus, and the appearances of the Archangel Gabriel in the New Testament. It's not comprehensive coverage of the subject, but its still worth a read if you're interested in that kind of stuff.

Ebook Sales: 12
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 16
Total Sold: 75

I renamed Jehovah and Hades: Books 1-3 to go with Modern Day Jekyll & Hyde: Books 1-3, because that's less confusing. It follows the last known descendants of Dr. Jekyll from Stevenson's Jekyll & Hyde. This collection has three short stories I wrote in 2012 when I was just starting out as a self-published author. The cover is new; I had it made in 2015 to try to increase sales. It's slowly making its way to 100 sales. I would love for it to make it there this year.

Ebook Sales: 5
Audio Book Sales: 1
Paperback Sales: 6
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 12
Total Sold: 46

I wrote the second volume in my Tech Illiterate series in 2014 after some positive reviews on the first book in the series. This one covers what to look for when buying a new computer, things to remember when you upgrade your computer, operating systems, a general technology rule I call "the weakest link," wireless and networks, streaming and streaming devices, ultra HD and 4K TV, and internet browsers. It's roughly the same length as the first one. If the first one helped you, this one should, too.

Ebook Sales: 4
Audio Book Sales: 6
Paperback Sales: 1
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 11
Total Sold: 50

The Mormon Theocracy is a collection of two short articles I wrote while getting my history degree. One goes over the theocracy that existed in the early Utah territory that the Mormons created. The other article looks into the philosophies of Gregory Palamas of the Eastern Orthodox church. I actually made a mistake when I made this an Amazon exclusive, because it was selling pretty well at other ebook retailers. I should have left it alone. It is now available again at Barnes and Noble, Apple, and elsewhere, but it hasn't recovered.

Ebook Sales: 8
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 10
Total Sold: 26

Traveling the U.S.: Utah includes photos and brief histories from historical locations around Salt Lake City. I probably should have named it to reflect that, but I also got pictures from a railroad town called Echo and Park City. It's a fun read and has some beautiful pictures. It's worth checking out if you'd like to know a little more about the historical sites of Salt Lake.

Ebook Sales: 7
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 9
Total Sold: 37

Traveling Asia: The Philippines was the first travel photo book I wrote. This one is a little different than the others, because I lived in the Philippines for two years and speak fluent Tagalog. I included some of the local animals, historic sites, and some Tagalog words. It was fun to write and has some beautiful pictures of the Banaue rice terraces plus some helpful info if you ever plan on traveling to the Philippines.

Ebook Sales: 4
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 5
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 9
Total Sold: 25

Traveling the U.S.: San Diego is one of my most picture-heavy travel photo books. We visited the San Diego zoo, the San Diego Safari Park, Sea World, Cabrillo National Monument, Old Point Loma Lighthouse, and the USS Midway. There are a lot of great shots of animals from the zoo, safari park, and Sea World. This is the only book in my World Travel series that still doesn't have any reviews. I hope that changes this year.

Ebook Sales: 8
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 8
Total Sold: 8

Explanations and Advice for the Tech Illiterate Volume III is the last book in my Tech Illiterate series. I started it a while back and finished it up in 2015. At this point, I don't have the time to focus on keeping all of these evolving with the times, so I stuck to general themes that would be helpful to any beginner. Volume III goes a little more into dealing with current technology trends, but also has some more basics. It covers digital camera basics, surge protectors and clean power filters, wireless charging and solar power, smart watches, self-driving and electric cars, smart home and home automation, plus a few additional articles. If you have the first two, this is a must buy. I need to add links at the ends of the other two so people know this is available now. I haven't found time to do that yet.

Ebook Sales: 4
Free Copies: 115
Audio Book Sales: 2
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: Free
Books Sold 2015: 8
Total Sold: 44

Geek of Legend: The Elvish Screwdriver is the first in the short series under my pen name that I mentioned above. It was free for part of the year and $0.99 for part of the year. I've decided to just leave it as a freebie to get people reading the series. This one has the first three geeky riddles I thought up for short stories, so grab a free copy and see if you can solve them before Robert does.

Ebook Sales: 5
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 3
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2015: 8
Total Sold: 30

This book in my World Travel series covers some great history from Tokyo, Taipei, and Hong Kong. Three large Asian cities in three different countries. I got photos and provided brief histories of the following sites:
Tokyo: Temple of the 47 Ronin, both Tokyo towers, a Shinto temple, a Buddhist temple, shots from around Tokyo
Hong Kong: the Men Mo temple, the fishing village, major corporate buildings, shots from around Hong Kong
Taipei: Taipei 101 (2nd tallest building in the world), shots of Taipei while at one of the Taipei night markets

Ebook Sales: 1
Free Copies: 732
Audio Book Sales: 5
Paperback Sales: N/A
Current Price: Free
Books Sold 2015: 6
Total Sold: 34

The Journals of Jacob and Hyde was my second self-published short story and the prequel to Jehovah and Hades. It has been a free ebook for most of the time since 2012. In that time, I've given away somewhere around 10,000 copies. It's also available as a really cool audio book with multiple narrators doing character voices. It's a good read and there's no reason not to grab a free copy.

Ebook Sales: 4
Audio Book Sales: 1
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2015: 5
Total Sold: 43

Jehovah and Hades was the first short story I self-published way back in early 2012. It follows a computer hacker and his brother, an assassin, as they take on a corrupt mayor over in the Philippines. It still sports the cover Doug Beckstead made for me. This is where it all started. I sold 4 copies at $0.99 the day this was published. That's when I decided that maybe I could get somewhere with e-books. Jehovah and Hades is around 4 years old now, but it's still a fun story. Check it out.

Ebook Sales: 3
Audio Book Sales: 1
Paperback Sales: N/A
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2015: 4
Total Sold: 22

Jehovah and Hades: Federal case is an add-on short story that comes after Jehovah and Hades and is also included in the three book collection. It's a fun short story and I definitely recommend it if you enjoyed the first two stories.

Ebook Sales: 1
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: N/A
Current Price: $9.99
Books Sold 2015: 1
Total Sold: 8

I'm still thinking about what to do with this collection. It has all of my history articles except for the two in The Mormon Theocracy. It needs a new cover. I've thought about making a paperback version and a hardcover version. Ultimately, it just falls really low on my to-do list and I've left it up because it sold a copy last year at $9.99. Maybe I'll do something with it in 2016. Maybe I'll continue to ignore it. Only time will tell. (Note: I gave this book a new cover and I'm going to run some ads on it. We'll see what happens.)

Ebook Sales: 0
Audio Book Sales: N/A
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2015: 0
Total Sold: 25

This just makes me sad. Traveling the U.S.: Hawaii sold 14 copies in 2014. It was my only book to not sell anything in 2015. No ebooks. No paperbacks. That's a wolphin on the cover. A whale-dolphin hybrid. Someone should have bought a copy simply because that's cool as hell that wolphins exist and I got a picture of one flipping out of the water. So here's my real goal for 2016. This book needs to sell a copy. At least one. I don't like any of my books going an entire year with no sales. Someone just go buy a copy now so this won't be a sad story again in 2016. It's got awesome pictures. Over 60 pictures of: Sea Life Park (Oahu), USS Arizona Memorial (Pearl Harbor), Hanauma Bay (Oahu), the Polynesian Cultural Center (Laie), and a nature hike (Oahu). So check it out. The wolphin on the cover is crying right now. He'll stop as soon as someone buys a copy. Shameless self-promotion. I know. Have a heart and help me out anyways. :-P (Note: As of 1/18/16, at least one person has purchased a paperback copy and an ebook copy of this book. The wolphin has stopped crying. Thank you to whoever I guilted into purchasing this. I promise it has cool pictures and interesting info.)

So there we go. Another year completed and another year of sales trending up overall. I didn't include sales from any anthologies or collections that I contributed a story to, because I don't have those numbers.Here's the total breakdown of the past four years:

2012 Books Sold: 157 (156 ebooks, 1 paperback)
2013 Books Sold: 372 (222 ebooks, 139 audio books, 11 paperbacks)
2014 Books Sold: 636 (404 ebooks, 160 audio books, 72 paperbacks)
2015 Books Sold: 998 (805 ebooks, 70 audio books, 123 paperbacks)

That puts me at 2,163 books sold since I started in 2012. I still think that's ridiculously cool. 41 of my ebook sales came from non-Amazon retailers this year. My non-fiction stuff is now available at Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo, Scribd, and other places. I'm planning on keeping them out of Kindle Unlimited, because the payout is way too low for non-fiction. I'm also planning on releasing at least the following in 2016:

- Major Demons
- A travel photo book of Boston and L'Anse aux Meadows

I might throw in a Geek of Legend short story if those start selling a few more copies. Major Demons is currently at 46,500 words and it will end at around 70,000 words. I hope to write some more in March when I have a week off from law school and then take it up again over the summer. For all the readers who are patiently waiting, thank you for being patient. You can help me out a ton by leaving reviews on anything of mine that you've read. The more books I sell, the more time I dedicate to writing when I have free time. Reviews help me sell more books. My goal for 2016 is 1,250 books sold. I can pull that off if Major Demons takes off running right out of the gate. I hope it will. If it follows the trend set by Middle Demons, I should have no problem. Thanks for reading and good luck to everyone in 2016!

You can see my book sales breakdown for 2014 here and the breakdown for 2013 here.

Amazon Books and the Robinson-Patman Act from an Antitrust Law Perspective

2015-12-18T14:17:00.000-08:00

Following my most recent antitrust article looking into the Authors United Amicus Brief (which you can read here), I was contacted for my thoughts concerning Amazon's new book store and the Robinson-Patman Act. For some background and thoughts on this subject, you can check out this article from The Digital Reader. The article links to other articles about two cases related to booksellers and the Robinson-Patman Act. The first case was AMERICAN BOOKSELLERS ASS'N v. RANDOM HOUSE. I didn't link to that one and I won't be analyzing it because it isn't publicly available. I want everyone to be able to read the court opinion when I talk about a case. AMERICAN BOOKSELLERS ASS'N v. RANDOM HOUSE ended in a settlement, so the court didn't fully reach the merits of the claim anyways. The second case was AMERICAN BOOKSELLERS ASS'N v. BARNES & NOBLE, INC.. I would like to take some time to look at the court's opinion in this case so we can see what requirements the ABA will have to meet to win in a lawsuit against Amazon (arguing that Amazon is violating the Robinson-Patman Act with their new bookstore, Amazon Books, in Seattle). Unless I note otherwise, everything I quote comes from that link. I would provide more specific, targeted links if I could link to particular sections of the court opinion, but I don't know how to do that. Let me start by reminding everyone that I am not a lawyer and nothing I say on my blog is legal advice.

Let's start by noting the parties in this case. The district court judge sums it up nicely. "In this antitrust action brought by the American Booksellers Association on behalf of all California members ("ABA") and twenty-seven independent bookstores against various defendants associated with Barnes & Noble, Inc. ("the Barnes & Noble defendants") and Borders Group, Inc. ("the Borders defendants"), three motions are currently before the Court." Put simply, the ABA joined with 27 independent bookstores to sue Barnes & Noble and Borders for violating the Robinson-Patman Act.

In this case, the ABA and independent bookstores allege that Barnes & Noble and Borders were receiving discounts and other favorable terms from Ingram. The judge notes under Section (II)(A) of his opinion that "[u]nder the Robinson-Patman Act, it is 'unlawful for any person engaged in commerce, ... either directly or indirectly, to discriminate in price between different purchasers of commodities of like grade and quality, ... where the effect of such discrimination may be substantially to lessen competition or tend to create a monopoly in any line of commerce, or to injure, destroy, or prevent competition with any person who either grants or knowingly receives the benefit of such discrimination, or with customers of either of them[.]' 15 U.S.C. § 13(a) (Robinson-Patman Act § 2(a))." Additionally, "'[i]t shall be unlawful for any person engaged in commerce, in the course of such commerce, knowingly to induce or receive a discrimination in price which is prohibited by this section.' 15 U.S.C. 13(f) (Robinson-Patman Act § 2(f))."

In simpler terms, a buyer cannot knowingly induce a seller to give them better terms or better prices than they give to other buyers for "commodities of like grade and quality" when to do so would (a) lessen competition, (b) create a monopoly in any line of commerce, or (c) injure, destroy, or prevent competition with anyone benefiting from such a transaction. The ABA was going for two things in this case:

1. Money damages (Which are automatically tripled under the Robinson-Patman Act, also known as "treble damages.")

2. An injunction (You can read about injunctions on Wikipedia here. Basically, it's a court order telling a party to either not do something or stop doing something.)

Since a party gets triple damages under the Robinson-Patman Act, it's more difficult to obtain money damages than it is to get an injunction. The court notes seven things that have to be proved (in this case, by the ABA) in order to get money damages:

"1. Two or more contemporaneous sales by the same seller to the plaintiff and a competing buyer;

2. At different prices;

3. Of commodities of like grade and quality;

4. Where at least one of the sales was made in interstate commerce;

5. The price discrimination had the requisite effect upon competition generally;

6. The competing buyer knew the price discrimination was unlawful; and

7. The price discrimination caused injury to the plaintiff. Rutledge v. Electric Hose & Rubber Co., 511 F.2d 668, 677 (9th Cir.1975) (citations omitted); Automatic Canteen Co. of Am. v. FTC, 346 U.S. 61, 73, 73 S.Ct. 1017, 97 L.Ed. 1454 (1953). Each plaintiff seeking damages must make 'some showing of actual injury attributable to something the antitrust laws were designed to prevent.' J. Truett Payne Co. v. Chrysler Motors Corp., 451 U.S. 557, 562, 101 S.Ct. 1923, 68 L.Ed.2d 442 (1981). Each such plaintiff 'must, of course, be able to show a causal connection between the price discrimination in violation of the Act and the injury suffered.' Id. (quoting Perkins v. Standard Oil Co., 395 U.S. 642, 648, 89 S.Ct. 1871, 23 L.Ed.2d 599 (1969))."

The sticking point for money damages is the actual injury. The ABA and the independent bookstores needed to prove both that Barnes & Noble and Borders knowingly made agreements with Ingram that violated the Robinson-Patman Act and that these agreements actually injured them. To do so, they relied on the calculations of their expert witness, Dr. Franklin M. Fisher. The court refers to the evidence presented by Dr. Fisher as the "Fisher Model." I'll spare you the court's analysis. The judge ultimately concludes that "[b]ecause the Fisher model fails to show that discounts received by defendants from any particular publisher or wholesaler harmed any of plaintiffs, the Fisher model fails to show that any publisher's discounts to defendants caused any actual harm to plaintiffs." In other words, the ABA and independent bookstores lose their money damages claim on summary judgment (and you can read about summary judgment on Wikipedia here. It's basically when a court rules in favor of a party without a full trial).

The court did not grant summary judgment on the injunction claim, because the injunction claim can survive and move on to trial under a weaker standard. The judge explained the difference. "Instead, the plaintiffs must show only that there is a reasonable possibility that the price discrimination may harm competition; this reasonable possibility of harm is referred to as 'competitive injury.' Falls City Indus., Inc. v. Vanco Beverage, Inc., 460 U.S. 428, 434-35, 103 S.Ct. 1282, 75 L.Ed.2d 174 (1983)." Instead of proving actual injury, they would only have to prove "a reasonable possibility" of injury at trial.

What does this mean for Amazon? It means that the ABA would have to prove all seven elements I've quoted above from AMERICAN BOOKSELLERS ASS'N v. BARNES & NOBLE, INC. in order to obtain the triple damages provided for in the Robinson-Patman Act. That's why, as noted at The Digital Reader, Tiecher at the ABA has said, "that it's 'far too soon to speculate' about what Amazon is planning in terms of a bricks-and-mortar profile, ABA is watching the new physical store closely. And he promised his constituents that he has no intention of allowing Amazon Books to benefit from its ties to Amazon.com. He also pointed out that, for the small store to do so could be a violation of antitrust law." In other words, the ABA likely recognizes that a lawsuit against Amazon and Amazon's bookstore, Amazon Books, would be premature at this point.

The Authors United Amicus Brief from an Antitrust Law Perspective

2015-12-05T11:40:00.000-08:00

Apple has appealed the 2nd Circuit's decision in UNITED STATES v. APPLE. They've petitioned for a writ of certiorari to the U.S. Supreme Court. In other words, the Supreme Court is still deciding whether they're going to take the case or not. The Authors Guild and Authors United hired a New York law firm to file an amicus brief with the Supreme Court in support of Apple's actions.

Let me begin this blog post by saying, once again, that I am not a lawyer and nothing on my blog is legal advice. I simply want to take a look at the Authors United amicus brief from an antitrust law perspective. There's going to be some legal jargon that I'll try to explain. Let's start with "amicus brief." According to Wikipedia, "[a]n amicus curiae (literally, friend of the court; plural, amici curiae) is someone who is not a party to a case and offers information that bears on the case, but who has not been solicited by any of the parties to assist a court. This may take the form of legal opinion, testimony or learned treatise (the amicus brief) and is a way to introduce concerns ensuring that the possibly broad legal effects of a court decision will not depend solely on the parties directly involved in the case." The Authors United amicus brief brings up facts and legal arguments that they feel (and their lawyer feels) should be considered by the Supreme Court. While I disagree with a large portion of their factual claims, I'm more interested in their legal argument. You can read the entire Authors United amicus brief here. I'm going to continue calling it the Authors United amicus brief (or AU amicus brief or the brief) because the Authors Guild has the same initials as the Attorney General and I don't want any confusion on that point. Just keep in mind that the Authors Guild supported this brief as well.

2nd Circuit Ruling

I'd like to start by getting at the heart of the 2nd Circuit's holding in UNITED STATES v. APPLE. When Apple decided to enter the ebook market, they made a series of agreements with 5 of the Big 6 publishers (Random House didn't make an agreement) that ultimately caused these 5 publishers to impose new terms on Amazon. This had the effect of raising the prices of ebooks and allowed Apple to enter the market making a profit on every sale instead of taking a hit (which Amazon was doing). The 2nd Circuit had to decide whether the agreements between Apple and the publishers were vertical agreements or horizontal agreements because they have a different standard of review. The 2nd Circuit found these agreements to be horizontal agreements (mixed with vertical agreements) which makes them a per se (or automatic) violation of the Sherman Act.

In explaining the difference, the 2nd Circuit notes that: "This appeal requires us to address the important distinction between “horizontal” agreements to set prices, which involve coordination “between competitors at the same level of [a] market structure,” and “vertical” agreements on pricing, which are created between parties “at different levels of [a] market structure.” Anderson News, L.L.C. v. Am. Media, Inc., 680 F.3d 162, 182 (2d Cir.2012) (internal quotation marks omitted). Under § 1 of the Sherman Act, the former are, with limited exceptions, per se unlawful, while the latter are unlawful only if an assessment of market effects, known as a rule-of-reason analysis, reveals that they unreasonably restrain trade. See Leegin Creative Leather Prods., Inc. v. PSKS, Inc., 551 U.S. 877, 893, 127 S.Ct. 2705, 168 L.Ed.2d 623 (2007)." UNITED STATES v. APPLE (Emphasis added).

Vertical agreements are analyzed under a rule of reason analysis while horizontal agreements are an automatic violation of the Sherman Act. Both the trial court and the 2nd Circuit found the agreements between Apple and the publishers to be horizontal agreements. The Authors United amicus brief argues that the 2nd Circuit should have found the agreements to be vertical agreements and applied the rule of reason analysis. The rule of reason analysis is the default preferred method used by the courts.

The court in LEEGIN CREATIVE LEATHER PRODS. v. PSKS, INC. explains the default rule of reason. Notably, "Under this rule, the factfinder weighs all of the circumstances of a case in deciding whether a restrictive practice should be prohibited as imposing an unreasonable restraint on competition." Continental T. V., Inc. v. GTE Sylvania Inc., 433 U.S. 36, 49, 97 S. Ct. 2549, 53 L. Ed. 2d 568 (1977). Appropriate factors to take into account include "specific information about the relevant business" and "the restraint's history, nature, and effect." Khan, supra, at 10, 118 S. Ct. 275, 139 L. Ed. 2d 199. Whether the businesses involved have market power is a further, significant consideration. See, e.g., Copperweld Corp. v. Independence Tube Corp., 467 U.S. 752, 768, 104 S. Ct. 2731, 81 L. Ed. 2d 628 (1984) (equating the rule of reason with "an inquiry into market power and market structure designed to assess [a restraint's] actual effect"); see also Illinois Tool Works Inc. v. Independent Ink, Inc., 547 U.S. 28, 45-46, 126 S. Ct. 1281, 164 L. Ed. 2d 26 (2006). In its design and function the rule distinguishes between restraints with anticompetitive effect that are harmful to the consumer and restraints stimulating competition that are in the consumer's best interest." (Emphasis added). Vertical agreements are analyzed by the courts looking into the factors in bold in the above quote.

The court in LEEGIN CREATIVE LEATHER PRODS. v. PSKS, INC. also explained when the per se (or automatic violation) rule applies. "The per se rule, treating categories of restraints as necessarily illegal, eliminates the need to study the reasonableness of an individual restraint in light of the real market forces at work, Business Electronics Corp. v. Sharp Electronics Corp., 485 U.S. 717, 723, 108 S. Ct. 1515, 99 L. Ed. 2d 808 (1988); and, it must be acknowledged, the per se rule can give clear guidance for certain conduct. Restraints that are per se unlawful include horizontal agreements among competitors to fix prices, see Texaco, supra, at 5, 126 S. Ct. 1276, 164 L. Ed. 2d 1, or to divide markets, see Palmer v. BRG of Ga., Inc., 498 U.S. 46, 49-50, 111 S. Ct. 401, 112 L. Ed. 2d 349 (1990) (per curiam)." (Emphasis added). In other words, agreements between competitors at the same level in the marketplace (like the publishers) to fix prices or divide markets are automatic violations of the Sherman Act.

I don't want to spend too much time analyzing the 2nd Circuit's decision. In very basic terms, the 2nd Circuit found that Apple's agreements with the publishers were a "hub and spoke" agreement that includes both vertical and horizontal agreements. Their agreements effectively imposed a vertical agreement between Apple and each publisher individually and a horizontal agreement between the 5 publishers. Apple was the "hub" and the publishers were the "spokes." This has been found to be a per se violation of the Sherman Act in the 3rd and 7th Circuits because "hub and spoke" agreements have both vertical and horizontal elements. The 2nd Circuit agreed with and adopted this approach. If you'd like to read the entire 2nd Circuit case, you can find it here.

The AU Amicus Brief - Rule of Reason

Let me start by saying that you can read the entire AU amicus brief here. The entire brief is 38 pages and cites 8 cases. It does not include the word "vertical" or "horizontal" anywhere in the document. The brief instead relies on questionable facts (they cite Scott Turow articles several times) and a shaky legal argument that doesn't even include an analysis of vertical or horizontal agreements. Let's start with their argument for applying the rule of reason standard.

The brief starts off by noting that the rule of reason is the default standard for analyzing agreements under antitrust law. I agree with this idea and the Supreme Court has said the same. The brief then goes on to say that the 2nd Circuit ignored precedent and "the Second Circuit ignored this court's unwavering instruction that per se rules should not apply to conduct with potentially procompetitive effects." They cite LEEGIN CREATIVE LEATHER PRODS. v. PSKS, INC.. I disagree with this point. The court's "unwavering instruction" is that "horizontal agreements among competitors to fix prices" are per se illegal. If such an agreement exists, and I believe that it does here, we don't analyze the procompetitive effects of the agreement because it's already automatically illegal.

Let's concede the point and say the rule of reason applies. Let's say the agreements were strictly vertical agreements. I still think Apple loses the case. The Department of Justice takes that stance that exclusionary vertical agreements are also violations of the Sherman Act. For an interesting read, check out this article on the DOJ's website. A. Douglas Melamed (Principal Deputy Assistant Attorney General for the Antitrust Division of the DOJ) gave this address to the American Bar Association. Here are a few quotes I find helpful:

1. "Although vertical agreements are generally procompetitive, they can injure competition, under some circumstances, when they deny (or raise the cost of) a needed or valuable input -- such as distribution services -- to a rival."

2. "Exclusionary vertical agreements are agreements that tend to exclude competitors of one of the parties to the agreement. Examples include exclusive dealing, tie-in arrangements, and most favored nation agreements."

3. "The foregoing suggests that a necessary condition for an exclusionary vertical agreement to be anticompetitive is that the agreement is likely to enable the manufacturer that would benefit from the exclusion of a rival to gain or preserve market power that it otherwise would not have. The additional market power enables the manufacturer to recoup its investment in the otherwise inefficient restraint, including the consideration it must pay to the distributors."

The second quote is applicable because the agreements between Apple and the publishers included a most favored nation clause. The third quote applies directly to this situation. Apple gained market share that it otherwise would not have had but for the terms that the publishers imposed on Amazon.

The AU Amicus Brief - 1st Amendment

The AU brief also claims that allowing Amazon to have monopoly control over the ebook market is at odds with the 1st Amendment. The brief claims "Amazon's dominant market position... threatened the free exchange of ideas which this country values so highly." The brief goes on to argue that Amazon "suppressed" both Macmillan and Hachette. Throughout this entire section of their argument, AU cites no case law, with the exception of the first paragraph. Their argument also implies that the 1st Amendment pretty much mandates the continued existence of publishers since they fund nonfiction, academic research. Their first paragraph contains three cherry picked quotes from two cases. I'd like to look at those.

The brief starts by saying "[t]he United States has a 'profound national commitment to the principle that debate on public issues should be uninhibited, robust, and wide-open." That's a quote from NEW YORK TIMES CO. v. SULLIVAN. It's vague and doesn't really help their argument. Additionally, they left off the ending "and that it may well include vehement, caustic, and sometimes unpleasantly sharp attacks on government and public officials." The sentence they partially quoted was specifically addressing the rights of citizens to verbally attack the government and public officials.

From the same New York Times case, AU also says that "right conclusions are more likely to be gathered out of a multitude of tongues, than through any kind of authoritative selection." Here's the full quote from Judge Learned Hand:
"The First Amendment, said Judge Learned Hand, 'presupposes that right conclusions are more likely to be gathered out of a multitude of tongues than through any kind of authoritative selection. To many, this is, and always will be, folly, but we have staked upon it our all.'"
I don't see how this is in any way favorable to the publishers' case. Their companies, by definition, rely on authoritative selection to create books. They reject the vast majority of what is sent to them. In contrast, Amazon removed the barrier to entry, allowing a "multitude of tongues" once silenced by traditional publishing to speak. Amazon is the champion of the 1st Amendment, not traditional publishing.

The AU brief also acknowledges the "right of the public to receive suitable access to social, political, esthetic, moral, and other ideas and experiences." This quote comes from the case RED LION BROADCASTING CO. v. FCC. The case is about Congress and the FCC restricting public broadcasting, but that's fine. These three quotes were cherry picked for a general appeal to emotion because they surely don't make any kind of coherent legal argument.

The most amusing part of the AU's 1st Amendment argument is as follows: "[f]ortunately, when Apple and others entered the e-book market, Amazon's control over culture decreased. E-books not sold on Amazon were available elsewhere. E-books not marketed by Amazon were marketed elsewhere." They're actually arguing that:

1. Amazon was violating the public's 1st Amendment right to be able to purchase e-books through multiple channels.

2. Apple's illegal price-fixing scheme with the publishers corrected this 1st Amendment violation so their illegal agreements were ok.

I'm not even sure how to respond to that. It's ridiculous. Apple wanted to enter the market making money and illegally forced the market to change to accommodate higher prices. They weren't courageously protecting the public from a continued 1st Amendment violation.

Conclusion

The AU brief only cited 8 cases, most of them for cherry picked quotations. Their only remotely plausible argument comes in under Leegin and that argument seems to lose under both the per se rule and the rule of reason. The FTC notes in an article, Monopsony and The Meaning of "Consumer Welfare" that "[c]ourts and federal law enforcement officials routinely invoke 'consumer welfare' as the guiding principle behind their application of the antitrust laws." Consumer welfare is enhanced by the low prices Amazon provides, not by the artificially higher prices Apple and the publishers forced on the market. For more info on this subject, you can check out my last Authors United antitrust article here.

The Authors United Letter from an Antitrust Law Perspective

2015-08-22T15:27:00.002-07:00

Disclaimer: Nothing on my blog is legal advice. I am not a lawyer, nor an expert in antitrust law, and will not be liable for any actions taken based on my thoughts or opinions in this blog. I'm approaching this as nothing other than an academic exercise and I've watched exactly one antitrust motion hearing in federal court (it was a 12(b)(6) motion to dismiss).

After I made some comments on Konrath's blog and over at The Passive Voice regarding some case law that I thought was relevant to the Authors United letter to the DOJ, I was e-mailed by a couple of people and they asked that I write a blog where I analyze the Authors United letter from an antitrust perspective. I am not an expert on antitrust law (or any law). Admittedly, there will be a few holes in my blog post and I welcome comments from anyone on this subject. I also wanted to note that some of the things I look into may not be antitrust law; it will vary based on the allegations.

I will be citing the Authors United letter from this website. I will also only use cases that are in the public record that I can link to (with one exception where I link to a Wikipedia article that has the same basic info). Authors United starts out by admitting "we are not experts in antitrust law, and this letter is not a legal brief." Fair enough. They do complain a lot though and they obviously think the DOJ investigation will lead to some form of relief or redress for them so I thought it would be interesting to look into what they're saying as a legal complaint (even though it obviously isn't one). So what I'd like to do is look into whether they have any valid legal claims.

Claim 1: Monopoly

AU's first point is that "Amazon's dominant position makes it a monopoly as a seller of books and a monopsony as a buyer of books." The U.S. Supreme Court in U.S. v. Grinnell Corp. (U.S. v. Grinnell Corp.) held that the test for monopoly control under Section 2 of the Sherman Act has two requirements "(1) the possession of monopoly power in the relevant market and (2) the willful acquisition or maintenance of that power as distinguished from growth or development as a consequence of a superior product, business acumen, or historic accident."

Relevant Market

The first question is "what is the relevant market?" If we look to the AU letter, they allege that Amazon has "unprecedented power over America's market for books." They also claim that Amazon has become "the largest publisher and distributor of new books in the world." I have no idea how they're defining new books and the U.S. Supreme Court can't grant relief for a market larger than the United States, so I'd rather focus on "America's market for books." They also note that "according to published figures, this one corporation now controls the sale of:
- More than 75 percent of the online sales of physical books.
- More than 65 percent of e-book sales.
- More than 40 percent of sales of new books.
- About 85 percent of e-book sales of self-published authors."
In their list of figures, it seems that they are alleging that "America's market for books" is made up of e-books and physical books. The other two figures they list would fall into those two categories. I don't know if they're trying to make the relevant market "America's market for books" or if they maintain that Amazon has two separate monopolies (one in e-book sales and one in physical book sales). Justice Sotomayor (who was still a Circuit judge at this point) gave clarification to what the courts should look for in defining a relevant market. In Todd v. Exxon Corp. (Todd v. Exxon Corp.), she held that "to survive a Rule 12(b)(6) motion to dismiss, an alleged product market must bear a "rational relation to the methodology courts prescribe to define a market for antitrust purposes - analysis of the interchangeability of use or the cross-elasticity of demand," Gianna Enters. v. Miss World (Jersey) Ltd., 551 F. Supp. 1348, 1354 (S.D.N.Y. 1982), and it must be "plausible." Hack v. President & Fellows of Yale Coll., 237 F.3d 81, 86 (2d Cir. 2000)." She goes on to say that "cases in which dismissal on the pleadings is appropriate frequently involve either (1) failed attempts to limit a product market to a single brand, franchise, institution, or comparable entity that competes with potential substitutes or (2) failure even to attempt a plausible explanation as to why a market should be limited in a particular way." In other words, in order to continue with your case and not have it dismissed, you must allege in your complaint a relevant market that plausibly doesn't have interchangeability of use or cross-elasticity of demand with other products. In our case, e-books and physical books would have to be different enough that they couldn't be seen as reasonable substitutes for one another. There's some confusion as to what AU wants the relevant market to be. If they want to maintain that Amazon has a monopoly both in sales of e-books and sales of physical books (two distinct markets) then they would need to "attempt a plausible explanation as to why [the] market should be limited in [this] way." I see no discussion in their letter of the differences between e-books and physical books and no reason why they should be seen as different markets. AU even admits that their concern is for "America's market for books."

Monopoly Power

Now that we have AU's alleged relevant market, "America's market for books," we can look into whether Amazon has monopoly power in this market. A case that is perfectly on point is Bookhouse of Stuyvesant Plaza, Inc. v. Amazon.com, Inc. (Bookhouse of Stuyvesant Plaza, Inc. v. Amazon.com, Inc.). Bookhouse alleged in their complaint that Amazon controlled "60% of the U.S. e-book market." They also made claims that Amazon's market share of the print book market were similar. I'd like to go on a brief tangent related to the relevant market. The judge in Bookhouse also saw one of the problems I found with AU's letter, they didn't list enough differences to make it clear that these are two distinct markets. The judge noted that "without more detailed allegations or explanation, the Court cannot reasonably infer that these two markets simultaneously are so different that e-books and print books are not acceptable substitutes, and yet so similar that the Publishers' market share is the same in both markets." AU's letter does allege a different market share for print book sales, but the two numbers seem to be close enough that it should at least be an open question as to whether we're looking at a U.S. market for books or two markets - e-books and print books. AU has still not addressed the issue of whether e-books and print books are acceptable substitutes for one another.

When looking into Bookhouse's complaint that Amazon controlled 60% of the e-book market, the judge held that "even if plaintiffs had alleged a cognizable market, plaintiffs' only allegation suggesting that Amazon possesses monopoly power is that its market share is 60%. See First Am. Compl. ¶¶ 15, 20, 22. But the Second Circuit has held that “[a]bsent additional evidence, such as an ability to control prices or exclude competition,” even “a 64 percent market share is insufficient to infer monopoly power." PepsiCo, 315 F.3d at 109." Market share does seem to be AU's main argument that Amazon is a monopoly. They allege that Amazon has 65% of the e-book market and 75% of the print book market. If these two figures make up "America's market for books," then Amazon controls 48.75% of American's market for books. Absent "an ability to control prices or exclude competition," this is not enough to establish monopoly control over the market. Even taking their separate figures, 65% of the e-book market would be inadequate to imply monopoly control on its own. I'll address AU's predatory pricing issue later on, but I doubt AU's complaint would survive a 12(b)(6) motion to dismiss on the issue of monopoly control under the first requirement listed in Grinnell above. AU would have an even more difficult time proving the second requirement, that Amazon didn't gain monopoly power "as a consequence of a superior product, business acumen, or historic accident."

The citation from PepsiCo (PepsiCo, Inc. v. Coca-Cola Co.) deserves a little more attention. In that case, the court held that "absent additional evidence, such as an ability to control prices or exclude competition, a 64 percent market share is insufficient to infer monopoly power. See Tops Mkts., 142 F.3d at 99 (holding that “a share between 50% and 70% can occasionally show monopoly power,” but only if other factors support the inference); ALCOA, 148 F.2d at 424 (L.Hand, J.) (expressing doubt that 64 percent market share is enough to constitute a monopoly).” Additionally, companies with market share as high as 74% have been found to lack monopoly power. See Tops Markets, Inc. v. Quality Markets, Inc..

Claim 2: Blocking Sales

AU's next issue is that "Amazon, to pressure publishers over the past 11 years, has blocked and curtailed the sale of millions of books by thousands of authors." Their next point seems to raise a similar issue "Amazon, during its dispute with Hachette in 2014, appears to have engaged in content control, selling some books but not others based on the author's prominence or the book's political leanings." Now I question whether either statement is true, but for the purposes of a 12(b)(6) motion, we assume that the facts alleged by the Plaintiff are true. In response to a similar claim, the judge in Bookhouse said, "in essence, plaintiffs complain that Amazon has not allowed them to sell e-books on Amazon's devices and apps. But no business has a “duty to aid competitors.”" The judge then cites the Supreme Court, noting that "[f]irms may acquire monopoly power by establishing an infrastructure that renders them uniquely suited to serve their customers. Compelling such firms to share the source of their advantage is in some tension with the underlying purpose of antitrust law, since it may lessen the incentive for the monopolist, the rival, or both to invest in those economically beneficial facilities." That pretty much sounds like the situation between Amazon and AU (most of whom are authors published by the Big 5, Amazon's rivals.)

Claim 3: Economic Duress

AU's next claim is that "Amazon has used its monopsony power, and its ability to threaten punishment, to extract an ever greater share of the total price of a book from publishers, which has resulted in less revenue to support midlist authors and certain kinds of books, effectively silencing many voices." Now if they're trying to bring a claim on behalf of midlist authors, I would argue that AU doesn't have standing unless those authors are members of AU and signed the letter. Basically you can't bring a claim if you weren't injured by the alleged actions of the Defendant. Aside from that point, this seems like a duress issue under contract law. Economic duress is governed by state law (so it varies), but I think the general points are nicely summed up in the Illinois case Alexander v. Standard Oil Co. (Alexander v. Standard Oil Co.). Alexander held that "economic duress is present where one is induced by a wrongful act of another to make a contract under circumstances which deprive him of the exercise of free will, and a contract executed under duress is voidable." Additionally, "duress does not exist where consent to an agreement is secured because of hard bargaining positions or the pressure of financial circumstances. Rather, the conduct of the party obtaining the advantage must be shown to be tainted with some degree of fraud or wrongdoing in order to have an agreement invalidated on the basis of duress." AU doesn't say what the "threaten[ed] punishment" was, but they note that the end result was "to extract an ever greater share of the total price of a book from publishers." I imagine the threatened punishment was simply the "pressure of financial circumstances" which does not constitute duress. We won't know though until AU makes their allegation specific and clear. I don't think any of the Big 5 entered into a contract with Amazon that they were forced into, but if there was fraud or wrongdoing involved, the remedy is to void the contact. I imagine none of the Big 5 want their contracts with Amazon voided, but they can make a duress argument in court if I'm wrong.

Claim 4: Predatory Pricing

AU's next claim is that "Amazon routinely sells many types of books below cost in order to drive less well-capitalized retailers - like Borders - out of business. This practice, known as "loss-leading," also harms readers by reducing the amount of revenue available for publishers to invest in new books." Their first sentence is a claim of predatory pricing. Their second sentence, that readers are being harmed, seems to assume that new books can only reach readers via publisher investments and that when this amount is reduced, readers will have reduced selection. I don't know why they're alleging this because Amazon still pays the publishers the full amount when they price under their cost. There is no reduction of revenue as far as I understand.

The Supreme Court in Cargill, Inc. v. Monfort of Colorado, Inc. (Cargill, Inc. v. Monfort of Colorado, Inc.) defined predatory pricing as "pricing below an appropriate measure of cost for the purpose of eliminating competitors in the short run and reducing competition in the long run." That's what AU is alleging here. They say that Amazon is engaging in predatory pricing to drive competitors like Borders out of business. The Supreme Court later found predatory pricing to have two requirements in Brooke Group Ltd. v. Brown and Williamson Tobacco Corp. (Brooke Group Ltd. v. Brown and Williamson Tobacco Corp.) These requirements are "(1) the prices complained of are below an appropriate measure of its rival's costs, and (2) that the competitor had a reasonable prospect or a "dangerous probability" of recouping its investment in the alleged scheme."

I don't think Amazon was targeting competitors with their below-cost pricing, but I think it could go either way. I agree that there is evidence that they priced below cost at some times, but I doubt they did it to drive Borders and Barnes and Noble out of business. Concerning his book pricing strategy, Jeff Bezos said in an interview (Business Insider Interview with Jeff Bezos), "Books are the competitive set for leisure time. It takes many hours to read a book. It’s a big commitment. If you narrow your field of view and only think about books competing against books, you make really bad decisions. What we really have to do, if we want a healthy culture of long-form reading, is to make books more accessible. Part of that is making them less expensive. Books, in my view, are too expensive. Thirty dollars for a book is too expensive. If I'm only competing against other $30 books, then you don’t get there. If you realize that you’re really competing against Candy Crush and everything else, then you start to say, “Gosh, maybe we should really work on reducing friction on long-form reading." That’s what Kindle has been about from the very beginning."

Let's give AU the benefit of the doubt. Let's say Amazon was targeting competitors with predatory pricing of books. Let's say AU could prove that "the prices complained of are below an appropriate measure of its rival's costs." They then have to prove the second element which is where I think their argument fails. They would have to prove that Amazon "had a reasonable prospect or a "dangerous probability" of recouping its investment in the alleged scheme." It is not enough to prove that a company engaged in predatory pricing. The Supreme Court noted in Brooke Group that "recoupment is the ultimate object of an unlawful predatory pricing scheme; it is the means by which a predator profits from predation. Without it, predatory pricing produces lower aggregate prices in the market, and consumer welfare is enhanced." I don't see how anyone can prove that Amazon plans on recouping profits when it engages in predatory pricing because Amazon as a company is willing to run on razor-thin margins. It reinvests what it makes in other acquisitions. Let's give AU the benefit of the doubt on this one as well and say that they could somehow prove this.

Beyond these requirements, the Supreme Court also held in Brooke Group that "if circumstances indicate that below-cost pricing could likely produce its intended effect on the target, there is still the further question whether it would likely injure competition in the relevant market. The plaintiff must demonstrate that there is a likelihood that the predatory scheme alleged would cause a rise in prices above a competitive level that would be sufficient to compensate for the amounts expended on the predation, including the time value of the money invested in it." So AU would have to prove that following Amazon's predatory pricing, Amazon would increase the price to recoup themselves for the losses they sustained. It's unlikely that they can prove that because Amazon has shown no sign that they would do something like that. They win by keeping prices at a sustained low, they don't increase them "above a competitive level" to recoup their losses. Amazon is comfortable taking losses.

Claim 5: Failure to aid competitors

AU's next allegation is that "Amazon routinely uses its market power to steer readers toward its own books and away from books published by other companies." As I've already noted above in Bookhouse, "no business has a “duty to aid competitors.”" I'll just leave it at that.

Claim 6: Pricing terms with self-published authors

AU's final claim (before some appeals to emotion and claims that Amazon should, for some reason, be regulated as a utility or means of communication), is that "Amazon dictates pricing to self-published authors, requiring them to price their books within a specific range or be subjected to a 50 percent cut in royalties." I mentioned standing briefly in an earlier claim. AU definitely lacks standing to make any claim on behalf of self-published authors.

To bring a claim, a plaintiff must have standing. This was defined in Doe v. Tangipahoa Parish School Bd. (Doe v. Tangipahoa Parish School Bd.) as having three requirements. The court said, "under Article III of the Constitution federal courts have the power to resolve only “cases” and “controversies.” This constitutional limitation has manifested itself in the requirement that a plaintiff have standing, which requires a showing of (1) an injury in fact, (2) causation, and (3) redressibility." On a claim that Amazon dictates terms to self-published authors, none of the signatories of the AU letter have an injury in fact because none of them are self-published authors. They lack standing for failure to meet the first requirement.

Conclusion

I didn't analyze everything in the letter in depth. I'm more interested in seeing how the law basically applies to the things that AU alleged. As I said earlier, I welcome any comments that are on point with what I discussed here. Thanks for taking the time to read my opinion on this matter.

Dollar Shave Club: A Review of Additional Products

2015-08-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

Shortly after I posted my blog on how the Dollar Shave Club razor blades stack up against the Gillette Mach 3 razors, DSC contacted me and offered to send me some of their products to try out. I've had somewhere around 9 months to try those products out and here's my review. The package DSC sent me had a DSC t-shirt and three products: One-Wipe Charlies, Dr. Carver's Shave Butter, and Dr. Carver's Post Shave Moisturizer.

One-Wipe Charlies
DSC sent me a 40-pack of these minty wipes. Initially I wasn't really sure what to do with these... because I have toilet paper. I didn't use them as a toilet paper substitute (and let's face it... you don't want to read a crappy review like that :-P). I ended up using them for my hands (after going fishing usually). I also used them to clean up my hands after a plate of ribs a couple of times. They worked great for both and they definitely smell nice.You can get more info from DSC about this product here.

Dr. Carver's Shave Butter
After months of using DSC's Shave Butter, I can say that it is better than the Gillette shaving cream I'm used to. Not by a whole lot though. They're pretty comparable. The Shave Butter usually leads to a smoother, closer shave. I won't be reordering Shave Butter any time soon because I was given a lot of shave gel as a gift a while back and that's stalling my decision. When I do ultimately decide, it's going to come down to price. The 6 oz tube of Shave Butter I used is $8 for 6 oz. You can get more info from DSC about this product here.

Dr. Carver's Post Shave Moisturizer
This stuff is great for people who shave their head. When you apply it after shaving, it has a cooling, healing effect. I only use a little each time I shave so I still have some of this left. I will likely be reordering this when I run out. It's great for razor burn or just to give you a cool feeling for a while after you finish shaving. It definitely has my recommendation. You can get more info from DSC about this product here.

If you think you'd like to start with Dollar Shave Club, please use this link to join because I get a small credit towards my plan when I refer people. They've definitely saved me money over the past 9 months.

Update 9/12/15 It was pointed out to me that a company called DORCO makes the razor blades for DSC and you can get the razors directly from them for a bit less through Amazon ($2.10 per razor instead of $2.25). You can check DORCO's razors out on Amazon by clicking this link.

Solar Power: Save on Charging Mobile Devices

2015-08-05T09:26:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months, I've watched my power bill slowly go up month after month. I decided last week that I wanted to find a way to start it back on a descent. So I looked into a bunch of things, among them solar power. I figured there had to be a cost-effective way to charge mobile devices through solar power. I think I was right, but initial testing also showed me that it may take forever (especially when the sun doesn't want to contribute). I ordered a 14 W Solar Panel charger made by Anker. Here's a link to the solar panel charger on Amazon so you can check it out. Here's what it looks like:

On the right hand side is a pocket where you can store your devices so they don't get incinerated by the sun if you're outside. It has a little box with two USB ports:

When you plug a device into the USB port (especially when it's cloudy outside or you don't have good sunlight where the charger is), the device may not recognize that it's charging. My iPad Air 2 recognized that something was plugged in, but the charging icon didn't come up. I decided to test the charger on my iPad Air 2 before I went to work yesterday. I plugged it in at noon and checked it when I got home at around 10:30 pm. The charger fits pretty nicely in my window:

So I was gone all day and let my iPad Air 2 charge. This window wasn't getting a crazy amount of sun yesterday (and it isn't really today either, I should have bought one of these and tried it out a few months ago). Still, it charged my iPad Air 2 about 6% while I was gone. That's not too bad for a tablet that has a massive battery in way less than ideal conditions for the solar charger. (I tried the solar charger a second time on a very cloudy day with pretty much no sun. It charged the iPad Air 2 about 2% while I was gone. That should be the minimum it can do in a day.)

I've decided that I'm going to order an external battery from Anker and use the solar panel to charge that in a different window that gets more sunlight. I can then use the battery to charge all of my mobile devices at night (and it'll be a lot quicker). I looked into it and the Anker solar charger can only charge external batteries as large as this one (it's an Anker 16000 mAh battery). So that's what I ordered. It'll be here in a few days. All things considered, I think I'll ultimately save some money on my power bill next month and in the following months.

UPDATE: The battery arrived. Ultimately, my solar panel was able to charge my iPad Air 2 about 11% over three cloudy days plugged in for about 9 hours of cloudy sunlight per day. The battery came about half charged with two blue lights that would blink on and off. After a couple of days, a third light is now blinking (there are four lights total). Here's what it looks like plugged in to the solar panel:

The battery, when fully charged, should be able to charge my iPhone 5 around 6x or my iPad Air 2 around 1.3x. Here's some closer shots of the battery:

Once again, if you'd like to check out the battery on Amazon, here's the link: Anker 16000 mAh battery. It has two USB ports to charge up to two devices at once.

Major Demons: Chapter 1

2015-05-26T21:40:00.001-07:00

I finally have some time to write again. Tonight I started Major Demons with some rough ideas and Pandora tunes. I made it through the end of the first chapter. Thank you for those of you who have been patiently waiting. If you enjoy the series and have not done so yet, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. Here's the unedited first chapter of Major Demons.

MAJOR DEMONS

BY: RANDALL J. MORRIS

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in critical articles or book reviews.

CHAPTER 1

Hunting nephilim with a pregnant Lilith was driving Leech insane. After their brief meeting with the three Archangels, they had split into three groups of two. Uriel had gone with Raphael, Shadow with Gabriel, and Leech with Lilith.

“Leech!”

Leech sighed and walked back to Lilith’s tent.

“Lily?”

“Do you still think I’m beautiful?”

“Of course.”

“Seriously? I’m really fat.”

“You’re pregnant. That doesn’t mean you stopped being hot.”

Lilith grinned at him.

“Right answer. So I’m hot enough for you to do a favor for me?”

“Lily, we’re hunting nephilim… I don’t really have time to…”

“You lied to me! You don’t think I’m hot anymore!”

Leech sighed.

“What’s the favor? What are you craving this time?”

“I would like the soul of a human who was very good for most of their life and then turned evil in old age and went to Hell. That should deal with this craving.”

“Raven is already getting you a new hairbrush because the old one wasn’t good enough. So I guess I’ll send Gangrene?”

“Yes. Oh and I want my pony.”

“Keshi is in Hell. You can’t ride her when you’re pregnant.”

“I just want her up here.”

“Why?”

“Because you haven’t been paying enough attention to me and Keshi won’t leave me to hunt nephilim!”

Lilith started to cry. Leech approached to comfort her. When he was within range, she spun off her bed and kicked him hard in the stomach.

“Ow! Lily you need to stop being insane! I’ve stopped every time you said you wanted more time with me. I doubt we’re even on that nephilim’s trail anymore. I haven’t seen any evidence that he went this way for days.”

“Don’t blame me. Blame your daughter.”

Leech’s grinned widely and he kneeled in front of Lilith and put his hand on her belly.

“So it’s a girl?”

“Well I’m not sure. It could be your son. Either way, I’m not responsible for any of this.”

Leech laughed.

“I’ll send Gangrene. Anything else before I send him?”

“Nope. Send Gangrene and then don’t come back in here until you have all of my stuff!”

“So I’m not spending enough time with you… but I can’t come in here unless I have your stuff?”

“Exactly.”

“And in Lily-land… that doesn’t violate… oh… I dunno… logic and common sense.”

Lilith shrieked like a harpy, picked up a small mirror from her bedside table and threw it at Leech. Leech barely made it out of the tent in time. Gangrene was grinning at him.

“You’re not gonna think it’s so funny when I tell you what she wants now.”

Gangrene’s grin vanished from his face.

“If I ever decide to impregnate Raven, I want you to remind me of this. Deal?”

“We’ll see if I let you live that long. Now get back down to Hell and bring back her horse and a human soul that was good for most of its life and then turned evil.”

Gangrene sighed and turned to leave.

“Oh and Gangrene… one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“If I catch you smirking at my discomfort again, I will demote you to be an errand boy permanently.”

Gangrene turned and started back towards Hell, mumbling about how insane the daughters of Vixen were.

Leech cautiously made his way back into Lilith’s tent.

“Do you have my stuff?”

“No, but I have a gift for you.”

Lilith thought about throwing him out again but decided to hear him out. Leech pulled a soft, dark green blanket from behind his back. Lilith raised an eyebrow.

“What the hell is that?”

“Well it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Let me finish!”

Silence followed Leech’s outburst.

“It’s the blanket I was wrapped in as a baby. I was hoping that we could wrap our kid in it when it’s born. Boy. Girl. I don’t really care. I’m just glad we’re having one.”

Lilith’s eyes started to tear up.

“Oh I’m sorry, Leech. That’s a beautiful thought.”

She wiped her eyes and then laughed.

“I’ll bet you were a cute baby.”

“The absolute cutest.”

Leech tossed her the dark green blanket and Lilith ran it through her hands.

“It’s so soft. Call Gangrene back, Leech. I don’t need that other stuff. I just want you. That’s all I need. Oh and the hairbrush. Don’t call Raven back. Just Gangrene.”

“Done. I’ll call Gangrene back and then I’m coming back in here for you. You’re still really hot and we’re long overdue for some make out time.”

Lilith giggled.

“Hurry back then.”

Leech left the tent and saw Gangrene leaning on his spear.

“So it worked?”

“It did. Where did you find a dark green blanket anyways?”

“It was draped over my horse under the saddle. Nicely played, General Leech.”

“You should be taking notes. It’s gonna be this bad when Raven has a baby. You need to be on top of your game.”

Gangrene grinned.

“Noted. Should I instruct the armies to keep searching?”

“No. We’re done for the night. We’ll start back up tomorrow.”

When Leech entered Lilith’s tent again, he saw that Raven had returned and was brushing her hair.

“I totally understand, Lily. That last hairbrush was unbearable. This one is much better.”

“It really is. Now get out. Leech is back.”

Raven looked slightly offended, slammed the brush down on the table next to Lilith’s bed, and stormed out.

“Did they find anything new from the nephilim?”

“Nope. We still don’t even know who it is. There’s no need to worry about that right now though.”

Lilith grinned at him mischievously.

“You’re right. Come here, leechy face.”

Leech leaned in and kissed her. Lilith cried out.

“Ah!”

“What is it? Is the baby coming? Raven, get in here! The baby is coming!”

Lilith grabbed Leech’s hand and shook her head.

“It’s not that.”

Raven entered the tent with an extra pillow and blankets, ready to play midwife.

“False alarm, Raven. You can leave.”

Raven threw the blankets on the ground and flipped them off. She turned and left.

“What was that then?”

“It’s one of the nephilim. I can sense it. I feel this sometimes when Shadow is around. There’s a nephilim stalking us.”

As Lilith was uncertain of the exact location, Leech teleported in the direction she had pointed. After a few minutes of running, he saw a creature kneeling in the sand on a beach as the waves crashed in around it. The creature wore a black, hooded robe. It stood and turned to face Leech.

“Leech of the underworld. Abandon the nephilim girl in your camp and I will spare the demon armies that travel with you.”

“Who the fuck are you to talk to me like that?”

The nephilim grinned.

“My name is Thanatos. My brother and I once saved the nephilim Lilith from death. It was only after we did so that our father revealed to us that she is our half-sister. We thought we were sent to aid Shadow.”

“There’s no way in hell you’re taking her with you.”

“Ah… but we’re not in Hell… are we?”

Leech pulled the guns from his belt and quickly fired off a shot from each. The bullets were engulfed by the sand where Thanatos had been standing.

“Where are you hiding, Thanatos? You’re only delaying the inevitable. I will slay you and you will fade into nothing more than a memory.”

Though Leech couldn’t see him, he could hear Thanatos’s response.

“Much talk. Talking will win you nothing. All the same, the woman goes with me to my father’s house. I go to take her now and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Leech immediately teleported to Lilith’s tent and saw Thanatos standing over a sleeping Lilith. Leech took up his scythe and slashed it across the back of Thanatos. Thanatos did not bleed, but turned to face Leech and fell on his knees. His eyes started to glow white.

“My father has misled me once again. While I have brought thousands to their death, I could not see my own demise. I can see yours though, Leech. I was sent here to deliver that message. If you continue to pursue the nephilim, one of them will strike you down. Your death is fast approaching. This is my final prediction.”

The robe of Thanatos fell to the earth, now devoid of its former occupant.

Civ Pro Battle

2015-04-04T17:53:00.000-07:00

On the drive to school in the mornings I have time to write rhymes, raps, poems, riddles, etc. in my head. I've been working on one that mashes together some civil procedure (law) jargon and I need to type it out to get it to go away so I can enjoy my homework + Netflix weekend in peace. Oh and also Easter. So here it is:

Civ Pro Battle
By: Randy Morris

Bro you can't hang with me
Why don't you take a hike?
Before the court grants
My motion to strike.
When it comes to the rules
I don't think you understand
That I can throw you out of court
Like I'm Judge Learned Hand.
And I don't got time
To wait around for the remix
I'll just kill it now
With a 12(b)(6).
If we reach discovery
I'm gonna give you hell
If I don't get what I want
I'll send a motion to compel.
And yes I read your brief
I think your case is repugnant
It won't survive my motion
For summary judgment.
You're gonna bring an appeal?
Bro I thought you woulda learned
That I'll have kicked your ass twice
When my judgment's affirmed.
I'm just in this for the money
I only do it for the wealth
So I won't submit the motion
But you should sanction yourself.
The beating that I dished out
Was a little too criminal
So I better stop here
Rule 1 says I should keep it civil.

Book Sales Breakdown 2014

2015-01-17T11:24:00.002-08:00

My breakdown for book sales last year was one of my most viewed posts so I decided to do it again this year. 2014 was my third year as a self-published author. My goal was to sell over 500 books and I closed out the year well over that number. I put some of the money I made back into the books and a large number of my backlist got new covers and were made available in more formats. Like 2014, I'm going to break down my sales from most sold to least sold and all of the cover images are linked to the Amazon page for that book if you want to check anything out. When I list a current price, that is the price of the ebook. Total sold is the total number of books sold of that title since it was published.

Ebook Sales: 27
Audio Book Sales: 58
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2014: 87
Total Sold: 116

Horror Stories From A Computer Tech, a collection of seven short stories from my time as an in-home Geek Squad agent, dethroned my article on Constantine (which was my best selling book in 2012 and 2013 and is still my best selling book overall). The thing that set it apart this year was the number of audio books it sold. With 58 audio book sales, none of my other titles even came close. This is my third book to break 100 sales overall. I made the complete cover for this one. It's pretty terrible... but that's sort of what I was going for.

Ebook Sales: 47
Paperback Sales: 9
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 56
Total Sold: 62

The battle for second place was between my Constantine article and Traveling the U.S.: East Coast History. East Coast History won by two. This book features over 125 pictures from the Capitol, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the White House, Arlington National Cemetery, Mount Vernon, Monticello, Jamestown (with excavation photos), Gettysburg, Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, the 9/11 Memorial, and more. Most of the sales on East Coast History came from a $0.99 promo I ran on the 4th of July and its better than average performance as a paperback (it came in tied for 2nd for 2014 paperback sales but actually made the most money as a paperback). This book, along with the other books in my travel photo series, received a new book cover this year.

Ebook Sales: 37
Audio Book Sales: 11
Paperback Sales: 6
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 54
Total Sold: 221

Constantine: The Emperor of Tolerance is a modified version of my senior thesis that I wrote while getting my history degree. It was my first title to sell over 100 copies, my only title to sell over 200 copies, and it came in third overall for 2014 sales. I don't have to do much to sell it, people who search for Constantine on Amazon usually see this pop-up via their search algorithms or in the also bought section on several other popular books on Constantine. This article also received a new cover this year (the image came from a picture I took, but the title and text on the cover were redone to look more professional).

Ebook Sales: 27
Audio Book Sales: 11
Paperback Sales: 10
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 48
Total Sold: 105

Explanations and Advice For The Tech Illiterate sold the most paperbacks of any title in 2014. I also had 9 paperback sales of the second volume in my Tech Illiterate series and many people bought both books at the same time. This is my fourth title to break 100 total sales and I imagine it will do well again in 2015 as I hope to release a third volume in the Tech Illiterate series. I used to have people ask me all the time where they could get some good basic information about technology. I didn't know of any guide at a decent price, so I wrote this short guide. It covers things you should know about computers, home theater, and several other topics related to technology. It also received a new cover this year which definitely helped sales.

Ebook Sales: 44
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $4.99
Books Sold 2014: 46
Total Sold: 51

My top four best sellers for 2014 were all non-fiction. Minor Demons was my best selling fiction title. It follows three demons (Shadow, Leech, and Lilith) as they fight their way through the hierarchy of Hell battling angels, demons, and sometimes hybrids of the two. It took around 13 months to write and edit and its around 72,000 words (I do this super part-time right now. I know a lot of indie authors that can write high quality 70K novels in weeks or months). It is, by far, my best selling book so far in 2015 (because I just released the sequel a week ago and both books have been doing well). Minor Demons also received a new cover in 2014, but mostly just to keep the branding the same for the series. I still like the original cover as well.

Ebook Sales: 43
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 43
Total Sold: 59

This is a three book collection that includes The Journals of Jacob and Hyde, Jehovah and Hades, and Jehovah and Hades: Federal Case. It did really well early last year and then sold a few copies per month for the rest of the year, which was enough to get it to sixth overall for 2014. The three novellas added up have a word count of around 54,000.

Ebook Sales: 11
Audio Book Sales: 23
Paperback Sales: 1
Free U.S. Downloads: 466
Books Sold 2014: 35
Total Sold: 36

Geek of Legend: The Elvish Screwdriver is the beginning of a series of novellas that I write under my pen name, Geekus Maximus. It's about a computer tech who enters a land of trolls, orcs, dwarves, elves, and goblins to fix their broken or malfunctioning technology. When I released the second novella in the series, I made this one a free ebook. There's a trend among indie authors to make the first book in a series free to substantially boost sales of all of the following books in the series (I may do this with Minor Demons at some point too). This novella did really well in audio this year as well.

Ebook Sales: 20
Audio Book Sales: 5
Paperback Sales: 9
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 34
Total Sold: 34

I released a second book of short articles that I wrote about technology in 2014 and it ended up being tied for my second best selling paperback after the first in the Tech Illiterate series. This one covered some more helpful advice as well as some new developments like 4K TVs and ultra high definition. I have some ideas for writing a third volume and I hope to find the time to do that at some point this year.

Ebook Sales: 12
Audio Book Sales: 14
Paperback Sales: 1
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 27
Total Sold: 114

My short article on Caribbean piracy was my second book to sell over 100 copies. It's down quite a bit from last year as far as book sales, but that's probably because I raised the price a little. It definitely made me more money in 2014 than it did in 2013. This article also received a new cover in 2014. The photo is once again one that I took but I had the title and text redone to look more professional.

Ebook Sales: 15
Audio Book Sales: 6
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 25
Total Sold: 39

The Mormon Theocracy features two short articles on the Mormon theocracy in Utah in the early days of Utah's statehood and Gregory Palamas of the Eastern Orthodox church. It did pretty well once I removed it from being an Amazon exclusive and now I'm trying my other history articles out at Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and other outlets. Like my other history articles, The Mormon Theocracy got a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 6
Audio Book Sales: 7
Paperback Sales: 7
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 20
Total Sold: 40

I made Gateway to the Vikings: L'Anse aux Meadows a free ebook for most of last year. It received a 2 star review early on that killed sales. Now it has 5 reviews with an average of over 3 stars and I decided to turn it back into a $2.99 ebook. It did really well in paperbacks, coming in tied for fourth overall. I would like to visit L'Anse aux Meadows someday and get some pictures. It would be really cool to see a North American Viking settlement. This book also received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 11
Audio Book Sales: 4
Paperback Sales: 3
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 18
Total Sold: 40

Prayer: Archangels and Intercessory Beings was free for a large part of last year to recover from a 1 star review from someone who admits they didn't even read it. It now has 6 reviews with over a 3 star average. After I turned it back into an ebook with a $2.99 price point, it actually did alright for the year. There are some lengthy reviews that point out my article's strengths and weaknesses and I really appreciate the reviewers that took the time to write them. This book also received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 8
Audio Book Sales: 2
Paperback Sales: 7
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 17
Total Sold: 37

My article on Luther Standing Bear came in tied for fourth in paperback sales. It also has two reviews now that give it a 5 star rating. This sells pretty well mostly because there aren't a lot of books on the subject other than those written by Luther Standing Bear himself and his books are quite a bit more expensive than my short article. This book also received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 14
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 16
Total Sold: 16

This book of photos and short history was fun to create. I went around Utah to get these pictures from historic locations in Salt Lake City, a few places in Park City, and Echo (one of the small railroad towns). Salt Lake City has a lot of really interesting history and it was fun running around to take pictures of sites and looking into landmarks I haven't paid enough attention to.

Ebook Sales: 14
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 16
Total Sold: 16

This book of my photos from around San Diego tied sales for Traveling the U.S.: Utah. The tiger on the cover was actually asleep for pretty much the entire time that we watched him. He woke up right as we were leaving and I ran back to get what eventually became the cover shot for this book. The book includes pictures and brief histories from the San Diego Zoo, the San Diego Zoo Safari Park, Sea World, Cabrillo National Monument, Old Point Loma Lighthouse, and the USS Midway.

Ebook Sales: 12
Audio Book Sales: 2
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2014: 14
Total Sold: 38

Jehovah and Hades was the first book I published. It's a novella of around 20,000 words. It's somewhat of a modern day Jekyll and Hyde story. Since the three book collection is also availabe on Amazon, less people buy this and the next in the series as standalones but I keep them available so everyone has the option. Four books tied with 14 sales, so I'm going to list them alphabetically.

Ebook Sales: 13
Audio Book Sales: 1
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2014: 14
Total Sold: 18

Jehovah and Hades: Federal Case is a 10,000 word novella I wrote that completes the novella collection I started back in 2012. Again, more people buy the three book collection since it ends up saving them a dollar. I'm really hoping the audio books for the Jehovah and Hades series take off at some point this year.

Ebook Sales: 10
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 14
Total Sold: 22

Traveling Asia: Tokyo, Taipei, and Hong Kong made me more money than a lot of books further up on the list even though it sold less copies. The cover features a grave found at the Temple of the 47 Ronin. There are a lot of amazing pictures in here from three major Asian cities. It's definitely worth a read and looks great in paperback. This book received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 12
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 14
Total Sold: 25

The cover of Traveling the U.S.: Hawaii features a shot I took of a wholphin (a whale dolphin hybrid) jumping out of the water. It includes pictures from Sea Life Park (Oahu), the USS Arizona Memorial (Pearl Harbor), Hanauma Bay (Oahu), the Polynesian Cultural Center (Laie), and a nature hike (Oahu). Lots of cool pictures in this one. This book received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 2
Audio Book Sales: 11
Free U.S. Downloads: 3741
Books Sold 2014: 13
Total Sold: 28

The Journals of Jacob and Hyde is a 20,000 word novella that I wrote as a prequel for Jehovah and Hades. It has been permanently free for over two years now and has over 7,500 free downloads in the U.S. alone. The audio book took over a year to make and my narrator actually subcontracted out various parts at his own expense. The audio book is a masterpiece, the best fiction audio book I currently have available. The ebook already has over 250 free downloads in the U.S. in 2015. How did it sell two copies at $1.99? Not really sure. I think it has to do with a couple of places that have access to amazon.com where it isn't pricematched to free. It currently has 26 reviews and a 4.3 star rating.

Ebook Sales: 8
Audio Book Sales: 5
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2014: 13
Total Sold: 13

Geek of Legend: The Goblin Anti-Virus is the second novella in my Geek of Legend series. The cover was created by my little sister, Britney. It only sold 13 copies last year, but it was also released late last year. I wrote it and edited it over a couple of weekends while I was in my first semester of law school. I imagine it will sell more than 13 copies this year.

Ebook Sales: 9
Paperback Sales: 1
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 10
Total Sold: 28

Traveling Asia: The Philippines was my best selling travel photo book in 2013. It didn't do as well in 2014, but it at least made it to the double digits in sales. Aside from East Coast History, this book features the most content as I lived in the Philippines for a couple of years and returned for a vacation in 2010. It includes some amazing pictures and some Tagalog words to help you out if you ever travel over there. This book also received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 2
Not available in other formats
Current Price: $9.99
Books Sold 2014: 2
Total Sold: 7

I've thought about pulling this book several times. I've thought about having the cover redone. I've thought about making a paperback version. For now, I'm just going to leave it alone. This features all of my history articles except for the two in The Mormon Theocracy. I've thought about making it into a book with all seven short articles and a new cover but I haven't found the time and it's kind of low on my priority list. I was very close to pulling it earlier this month but it sold a copy at $9.99 and it made me a royalty of around $7. So for now it's staying up. That one sale was enough for me to keep thinking about what to do with it. I'm leaning towards a new cover and including the other two short history articles.

Thanks for reading through the entire breakdown. I didn't include any anthologies where I contributed a short story (End of the Road, The Bitten) because I don't have sales numbers for those (End of the Road is free and proceeds from The Bitten go to one of my author buddies who is fighting cancer). Here's the total breakdown of the past three years:

2012 Books Sold: 157 (156 ebooks, 1 paperback)
2013 Books Sold: 372 (222 ebooks, 139 audio books, 11 paperbacks)
2014 Books Sold: 636 (404 ebooks, 160 audio books, 72 paperbacks)

My sales goal for this year is to sell 800 books. I'm not aiming too much higher than 2014 because I won't have many new releases. I released Middle Demons (70,000 word novel, the sequel to Minor Demons) a week ago and I plan on writing at least one more in the Tech Illiterate series but I won't have a lot of time to write between law school and my job. If I'm lucky enough to land a BookBub ad (and I'm going to try to for at least one of my books), I think I could break 1,000 books for the year. So I started 2015 with 1,165 books sold. I've already sold 46 so far in January, which is a good start. If you'd like to help me out, please check out any of the books in my breakdown that you think look interesting. Reviews also help me out a lot if you enjoyed reading one of my books. Thanks everyone and good luck in 2015!

Legacy Weapons

2014-12-16T10:11:00.002-08:00

It's been a while since I had a chance to blog. I am in the realm of law school finals... so that has kind of consumed my life for the past couple of weeks. My grandparents came to visit over the weekend and my grandpa gave me a .32 revolver from the 1890's that used to belong to my great-great grandpa. Being a huge history nerd (and a weapons nerd) I was pretty stoked. I had talked to my grandpa about getting a pistol a while ago but then law school started and I stopped having a life. :-P

I have a lot of weapons and replica weapons on the walls of my home theater room. In the room with my Martin Logan speakers and Pioneer plasma you'll also find Sting (the sword of Bilbo Baggins), an Igorot shield and spear (from the Philippines), a Sephiroth sword (Final Fantasy VII), and a replica of a George Washington flintlock pistol (from Mt. Vernon). I'll continue to add to this room over time.

The coolest weapons I own though were passed down to me from my grandpa. My great-grandpa had a massive collection of guns, bows, arrows, etc. The two items that have made it down to me are an English longbow and the .32 revolver I received Sunday night. If nothing else, I figured it would be cool to post some pictures. I'm feeling lazy today though because my torts final was yesterday so these pictures were taken with my iPhone.

English Longbow

A longbow is a bow long enough for its owner to draw the string to a point on the face or body so it varies with the user. Longbows generally have been anywhere from 3 ft to 6 ft tall. Mine is closer to 6 ft (it's a little taller than I am). You can find out more about them here on Wikipedia.

I've thought about having it restrung but I don't know if it would break. It's old and not in the best shape. I used it as a staff when I played a guard in Hamlet in 6th grade so I've had it for a long time now.

1890's Smith and Wesson .32 Revolver

For being over 100 years old, this revolver is in really good shape. The handle is slightly cracked on the other side but there's no other real signs of damage. This particular revolver was made by a Smith and Wesson subcontractor, Harrington and Richardson Arms Company. The patents listed on the top are from 1895 and 1896.

This gun was originally purchased by my great-great-grandpa and then it was passed down to my grandpa and now has found its way to me. Grandpa told me it hasn't been fired in around 40-50 years so I'm now thinking I might try to find a way to display it somewhere in my house as opposed to checking to see if it will still fire. Like I said, it's in decent shape with no visible cracks so I bet it would still fire, I just don't want to risk breaking it.

So there was no real point to today's blog post, I just didn't feel like studying for Friday's final yet. Also pictures of weapons are cool. Oh and if you're still looking for Christmas gifts, might I suggest any of the books I've written as most of them are now available in paperback. You can check them all out on my Amazon Author Page.

Book Sales Breakdown: First 1000 Sales

2014-11-08T09:34:00.000-08:00

I love it when numbers work out nicely. I sold my 1,000th book on the last day of September 2014, so it made figuring out totals a lot easier for me. I figured I would do a short breakdown of the sales numbers including the Top 5 books that got me there. I'm going to try to take a while to put all of the info together because I really don't feel like starting on my homework yet.

My first 1000 book sales consisted of 687 e-books, 253 audio books, and 50 paperbacks. It's interesting the way book sales work in 2014. Go back a decade and e-books weren't even a thing. Here's a pie chart because pie sounds really good right now:

So around 2/3 of my first 1000 sales were e-books, around 1/4 were audio books, and around 1/20 were paperbacks. Most of the paperbacks were actually sold this year. I sold 1 paperback my first year and 11 my second year. As of right now, in just 2014, I've sold 48 paperbacks and that's not including the ones I bought and then gave away to people.

As for my best sellers, I have one book that has sold over 200 copies and two that have sold over 100. Here's the breakdown of my Top 5 Bestsellers:

Constantine: The Emperor of Tolerance
203 copies sold as of 9/30/2014

Caribbean Piracy: Pirates and Privateers
111 copies sold as of 9/30/2014

Horror Stories from a Computer Tech
103 copies sold as of 9/30/2014

Explanations and Advice for the Tech Illiterate
87 copies sold as of 9/30/2014

Jehovah and Hades: Books 1-3
56 copies sold as of 9/30/2014

The book covers above are linked to the ebook version on Amazon. The Top 4 have gained a considerable boost because of the audio books they have sold. Jehovah and Hades: Books 1-3 has made it to 56 on nothing but e-book sales (also this is just the three book collection version. If I included individual sales of each title plus the collection, it would be over 100). The somewhat interesting thing is that three of these titles still have no reviews on Amazon. Horror Stories From A Computer Tech has 18 reviews and Explanations and Advice For The Tech Illiterate has 9 reviews, but the other three have none.

As of now, the most books I've sold in a single month is 70 (and that was October 2014 so those numbers are not included in my first 1000 sales). October broke down to 43 e-books, 17 audio books, and 10 paperbacks. It's really nice to be able to have a little extra side income while I'm in law school and working a part-time IT job. So to everyone who has purchased one of my books, left a nice review on one of my books, or shared one of my books with a friend... thank you! Writing fiction and non-fiction has been a very entertaining hobby and I still continue to write when I get small amounts of time in between homework and other things that are currently draining my life.

New Book Cover for Minor Demons

2014-10-25T16:33:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to start this off by saying that I really liked the cover Doug Beckstead made for Minor Demons. Other projects have taken his time lately so I'm going with another graphics artist to redo the cover for Minor Demons and for a new Middle Demons cover (which I have now but I won't be revealing until I have the book written... and that's about another 30,000 words. I would love to finish it but law school + work is sucking my soul.) As a final sendoff, here's the old Minor Demons cover:

Still awesome. Ok. Moving on. I hired Elizabeth Mackey (who redid the fonts and text on my non-fiction books) to do the new covers for Minor Demons, Middle Demons, and eventually Major Demons. The new cover is live on Amazon (both for the e-book and the paperback). Here it is:

The new cover features Leech instead of Shadow. Lilith will be on the cover for Middle Demons and Shadow will be on the cover for Major Demons. The font and type for the Middle Demons cover is the same as it is on this cover so that the series will continue to feel like a uniformed set.

Just to give everyone a heads up, Minor Demons will be free on Halloween (10/31/2014). This is the last time I'll offer it for free for a while. Make sure you grab a copy and then leave me tons of good reviews. (If you're back on my blog on Halloween, here's the link to grab it for free.) I hope everyone has a great Halloween. Oh and one final picture for you:

Happy Halloween from the league of assassins! :-P

Dollar Shave Club Executive Blades vs. Gillette Mach 3 Blades

2014-10-04T21:28:00.002-07:00

I generally have used Mach 3 blades to shave my head. I also like to shave my beard around my goatee every couple of weeks or so. I've been completely shaving my head since I was about 22, if I remember right, so I'm closing in on 7 years. I think the prices they charge for razor blades are ridiculous.

I've seen ads for the Dollar Shave Club (which I will now refer to as DSC) on Facebook and recently stumbled upon this New York Times article that prominently features the DSC. It's worth a read. Companies like Gillette and Schick have grown slothful with their massive product margins and overwhelming market share. Gillette has around 60% of the razor blade market and reported a 60% gross margin in 2004 (the year before they were purchased by Procter and Gamble). I want to pay for razor blades, not Gillette's TV commercials and advertising.

I decided to give the DSC a try. I generally get the Gillette Mach 3 Turbo 10 pack at Wal-Mart. It's around $30 or about $3 per razor. The DSC's high-end package is the executive blade and a 4 pack is $9 or $2.25 per razor (that's with shipping included). I made the purchase Sunday night and had my first DSC kit by Wednesday. Here's what it looked like:

The package came with 4 of their executive blades (6 blades per razor), a razor handle, a membership card (which I found amusing), and a sample of their shave butter. I just tried out the executive blade and I'll compare it to the Mach 3 that I've used for years:

Razor Handle
The razor handle for the DSC is better. Occasionally I've needed to hit my razor against the sink to clear it out and that has resulted in a Mach 3 blade popping off the handle several times before. I don't see that happening with the DSC razor handle. I didn't try to break it or anything, but the razor handle the DSC sent me seems stronger.

Razor Blades
The executive blades from DSC have 6 blades per razor while the Mach 3 blades have 3. I've seen people argue about which razor is better based on the number of blades (some argue for more and others for less). Here's what the blades look like side by side:

DSC razors are on the left and Mach 3 razors are on the right. I decided to give the DSC executive blades (and the shave butter sample) the best test I can: I shaved my entire head and my beard around my goatee (which I've let grow for a few weeks now). I'm used to a little razor burn and occasionally nicking myself (especially around my ear) with the Mach 3 blades. It didn't happen with the executive blades. No cuts. No irritation. The DSC razor made it around my ear with no problem. The shave was much smoother, closer, and cleaner. I just wanted the DSC razors to be COMPARABLE to the Mach 3 razors so I could save a little money. It turns out that they're better (at least for my shaving needs).

Now to be completely honest, the DSC blades do clog a little easier with short hair than the Mach 3 blades do but the DSC blades did a better job on my beard (which was slightly longer than the hair on my head). It took me the same amount of time to shave and I didn't really find this to be an inconvenience.

DSC Shave Butter vs. Gillette Shaving Cream
I use Gillette Fusion Hydra Gel for shaving my head. With my first use of the DSC razor, I tried their shave butter sample. I like the shave butter, but I'm not sure yet if I'll order any next month. The Gillette Fusion Hydra Gel is generally around $4-$5 and the shave butter is $8 for a 6 oz tube. I'd say they're comparable and maybe give an edge to the shave butter since it did lead to a smoother shave.

Ultimate Conclusion
I originally wanted to try DSC's $9 a month package with the executive blades and then go down to the $6 a month 4x blades if I thought the executive blades were alright. I'm going to consider this over a few more shaves, but I think I want to stick with the executive blades. I'll save money either way and I really like the executive blades so far. DSC has a $1 per month option (2x blades per razor and that doesn't include shipping, 5 cartridges per month), a $6 per month option (4x blades per razor and that includes shipping, 4 cartridges per month), and a $9 per month option (6x blades per razor and that includes shipping, 4 cartridges per month). You can also have them ship every other month if that's all you need.

So the DSC executive blades definitely have my recommendation. If you think you'd like to try them out (or any of their other packages), please use this link to join because I get a small credit towards my plan when I refer people. Hopefully this helps a few of you save some money. If you have any thoughts or comments on the Dollar Shave Club, feel free to comment.

Update 4/3/15 DSC reached out to me and asked me to add a link to their Twitter. You can check them out on Twitter by clicking this link. I've been a member for 6 months now and I'm still with the $9 a month package. I have no intention of switching back to Mach 3 blades.

Update 8/14/15 DSC sent me some free products shortly after I posted this blog post. I reviewed these products after months of using them. You can see my review of their One-Wipe Charlies, Dr. Carver's Shaving Butter, and Dr. Carver's Post Shave Moisturizer by clicking this link.

Update 9/12/15 It was pointed out to me that a company called DORCO makes the razor blades for DSC and you can get the razors directly from them for a bit less through Amazon ($2.10 per razor instead of $2.25). You can check DORCO's razors out on Amazon by clicking this link.

Hobbit Swords

2014-09-27T16:32:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Episode One of stuff I can hang on the walls of my home theater room because I'm a single guy (so no one can tell me not to). It's a working title. Actually my entire house has a mixture of stuff I've purchased in my world travels and stuff I just thought was badass. The elvish blades from The Hobbit fall into the latter category, as I've never been to the Shire or on the journey of Bilbo or Frodo.

I like collecting random knives and swords. There's not really any rhyme or reason to my collection, I just like having them around. Last Christmas, I received a replica of the Sting sword (letter opener?) from my parents. Here's a picture of the sword on my wall:

I've linked the photo to Amazon in case you want to check it out there. There are two versions of Sting on Amazon, the Bilbo version and the Frodo version. They are similar in price and I've linked to the Frodo version (which is the version I have). The Frodo version of Sting includes the Elvish markings on the blade that Bilbo added at the end of his journey. "Maegnas (Sting) is my name, I am the Spider's Bane." The Bilbo version of the sword is exactly the same minus the Elvish markings.

I plan on adding an additional two swords on the wall next to Sting (on either side). The first is Thorin Oakenshield's sword, Orcrist. The company finds this blade at the same time that Bilbo finds Sting. Thorin uses it for a large part of the first and second movies until the elves capture the company. Legolas takes it from Thorin at that point. Here's a picture of Orcrist, the goblin cleaver, on Amazon:

I think this is the coolest looking of the three blades. It sucks that the elves took it back. It's been a long time since I've read The Hobbit and I don't remember what happens to it. I just looked it up and I won't include what I found out here because that would be a spoiler for the third movie. I'll simply say that the blade does end up back with Thorin.

The final of the three swords that I want on my home theater wall is Gandalf's sword, Glamdring. Gandalf finds this sword in the same troll horde where the company acquires Sting and Orcrist. It's Gandalf's sword throughout the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movies. Here's a picture of Glamdring, the foe hammer, on Amazon:

Orcrist and Glamdring are still just on my wish list for now, but Sting looks really cool as a display piece on a wall. Thanks for checking out Episode One of stuff I can hang on the walls of my home theater room because I'm a single guy (so no one can tell me not to). Tune in next time when I talk about other stuff in my home theater room.

Free Fiction Saturday

2014-09-06T08:48:00.003-07:00

In celebration of Salt Lake Comic Con (and making it through my first two weeks of law school alive), I've made all of my fiction titles free for today only (9/6.) Grab as many as you'd like and please consider leaving a review if you enjoy them. Thanks everyone.

Minor Demons http://amzn.to/1cyKjCV
The Journals of Jacob and Hyde http://amzn.to/13eos1j
Jehovah and Hades http://amzn.to/VyOAiV
Jehovah and Hades: Federal Case http://amzn.to/URVxx2

Reinvesting Author Royalties In The Books That Earned Them: History Articles

2014-08-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

Since new covers added sales to my travel photo books (and then to my tech illiterate books), I decided to finish out my non-fiction book re-branding by having the covers for my history articles redone. I kept the original images and handed them over to Elizabeth Mackey (again) for more professional looking covers. Here are the six new book covers (and they're linked to their Amazon pages):

Constantine: The Emperor of Tolerance

Constantine has now sold over 200 copies if you combine sales from all formats. I considered buying a new image but ultimately decided that it sold pretty well as it was, so all I really needed was a better looking title and a more uniform location for my author name (you'll notice my author name is now in the same location and font on all of my non-fiction titles.) I decided to follow suit with all of my history articles.

Caribbean Piracy: Pirates and Privateers

Caribbean Piracy just broke into triple digit sales not that long ago, becoming my second history article to sell more than 100 copies. I still really like this image. It features a monkey mask I got in Hawaii, a shark-tooth dagger I got at the Polynesian cultural center, and a dagger I had made in the Philippines. The monkey mask was brightened up a bit for the current version of the cover.

The Mormon Theocracy

The Mormon Theocracy is unique among my history articles. It has no subtitle and it actually contains two history articles instead of one (one on the early Mormon theocracy in Utah and a second article on Gregory Palamas, the Orthodox monk, and his thoughts on God.) Since it was hit by a 1 star review from someone who never read it, it has recovered to become my most reviewed history article and has had a decent number of sales this year.

Luther Standing Bear: Assimilation

Luther Standing Bear features an Igorot shield and spear that I purchased in Maharlika (in Baguio when I was last in the Philippines.) I wanted it badly enough that I didn't negotiate very aggressively for it but it also slightly hurt my negotiating stance that I could only find it in one shop. This article received it's first five star review this year and has sold the second most paperbacks of any of my history articles for 2014 (the award for most paperbacks sold this year goes to Constantine as of right now.)

Prayer: Archangels and Intercessory Beings

Prayer was hit by a one star review at the same time The Mormon Theocracy was (by the same crazy lady who never bothered to read it.) I made it free for a while to get some more reviews and it currently has a 3 star rating overall with 6 reviews. The praying Mary and Joseph carvings are a part of a nativity set I purchased in Baguio. Now that it's back at an average rating, I've set it to eventually go back to it's original price. I'm not sure when exactly that will happen.

Gateway to the Vikings: L'Anse aux Meadows

After some decent sales in 2013, my article on the Vikings who explored North America was hit with a two star review. It's currently set to free through all major e-book retailers. Vikings has actually done better via Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, and Apple as a freebie than it has through Amazon (which is unusual.) It still only has the one two star review on Amazon, claiming that this article doesn't tell you where L'Anse aux Meadows is and that all of the info in it is available for free. He's right about his first point (I assume people know how to use Google) but way off on his second point. Many of the articles I referenced in this article are only available via JSTOR (a paid subscription site for history articles.) If you're looking for an interesting read and grab this one as a freebie, please consider leaving a review if you learn from it or enjoy it.

I've also gone to a more uniform pricing format for my history articles. Making $0.70 per copy sold wasn't working very well and Amazon's new price analysis tool recommended that I change the price to $2.99 on all of my articles based on data collected from other non-fiction titles similar to mine (Constantine was already at that price and outselling all of the others.) I went with their data and moved the price to $2.99 on all of them except for Vikings, which is currently free. I still don't know what I'm going to do with the five article collection, so I've let it keep it's original cover for now and stay at a $4.99 price point until I figure out what to do with it.

2014 Book Sales (so far) Closing in on 2013 Final Numbers

2014-08-15T09:59:00.002-07:00

I have to keep this brief because I'm going to Salt Lake early today to get my law school books (or at least as many of them as I can get.) July e-book numbers came through for Amazon yesterday so I was able to update my book sales numbers. I have final numbers on e-books (including Apple, B&N, Kobo, and Scribd) through July, paperbacks through July, and audio books through June (those tend to lag a little behind the other numbers updates.) All of those added up puts me at 341 book sales, which puts me only 31 sales away from matching last year's total of 372. I should be able to break that by the end of this month which means 500 sales for 2014 is a real possibility, but I'll beat last year's total for sure. Here are the top ten books that got me to this point in 2014 (and they're all linked to Amazon, so if any of them look interesting it would really help me out if you spend a few dollars and get one you don't have yet):

Horror Stories From A Computer Tech
53 sales (10 e-book, 43 audio book)

Traveling the U.S.: East Coast History
36 sales (32 e-book, 1 borrow, 3 paperback)

Jehovah and Hades: Books 1-3
35 sales (33 e-book, 2 borrows)

Constantine: The Emperor of Tolerance
29 sales (15 e-book, 4 borrows, 4 audio book, 6 paperback)

Geek of Legend: The Elvish Screwdriver
29 sales (7 e-book, 1 borrow, 21 audio book)

Explanations and Advice for the Tech Illiterate
23 sales (13 e-book, 7 audio book, 3 paperback)

The Mormon Theocracy
19 sales (13 e-book, 4 audio book, 2 paperback)

Caribbean Piracy: Pirates and Privateers
17 sales (6 e-book, 2 borrows, 8 audio book, 1 paperback)

Minor Demons
16 sales (15 e-book, 1 paperback)

Luther Standing Bear: Assimilation
12 sales (7 e-book, 1 audio book, 4 paperback)

Thanks once again to anyone who has purchased or reviewed any of these for me. The small amount I make from selling books is about to become a lot more important as I take on massive debt to go to law school and drop my work hours to part time.

The NSA Took Down Syria's Internet for Two Days?

2014-08-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

By now I think most Americans know who Edward Snowden is. His most recent revelation about the NSA actually had me laughing when I first heard it (I can see what he said as plausible and it's kind of hilarious.)

In 2012, Syria's internet went down for two days. Syria's president blamed "terrorists." Others blamed the Syrian government. 92% of the internet providers in the country went down. Snowden is claiming that what actually happened was that the NSA accidentally shut down Syria's internet while attempting to infiltrate it.

This article in The Guardian states "The unit allegedly attempted to install an exploit in the hardware of Syria’s main internet service provider that would have provided NSA with mass access to internet usage, communications and patterns in Syria, where a civil war was developing into an Islamist insurgency, destabilizing the Middle East."

Apparently the NSA covered it's tracks pretty well, because we're just finding out about this now. Everyone in Syria was blaming the government, the terrorists, or a botched router update from the country's largest internet provider. No one accused the NSA. Well played NSA. I feel like there should be a meme with that Dos Equis guy:

So there you go. I went and made a meme for it. I can't think of much else to talk about today, so I hope this story made you chuckle. Now I'm starting to wonder what will happen when the hacker group Anonymous messes up...

Law School Laptop

2014-08-13T10:02:00.002-07:00

People have asked me in the past what kind of a computer I have. The answer isn't always something that's easy to explain. My desktop at home is an i3 with 16 GB of Kingston DDR3 RAM, an Intel 120 GB SSD, a WD 3 TB hard drive, and a graphics card with a small amount of dedicated memory. I also have a Razer gaming mouse and a 500 watt power supply. My desktop doesn't have a brand, I built it from spare parts and a few parts that I bought at a good price. Even when I buy a computer from a brand that I generally trust, I usually make modifications to it.

Since I needed a new laptop for law school, I figured I would link to the exact Asus model I'm going with and blog about what I'll be changing on it. The image below is linked to the laptop I just purchased from Amazon if you want to see the full specs:

This laptop has a 14" LED touch screen, an i5 processor, 6 GB of DDR3 RAM, a 500 GB hard drive, and around a 5 hour battery life. Most of the laptops I was looking for with something around these specs that included an SSD were closer to $1,000 whereas this one is only a little over $650. In addition to the Asus laptop, I ordered one of these:

This is a 250 GB SSD made by Samsung currently going for $130 (it's also linked to Amazon if you want to check it out.) SSDs are way faster than a typical hard drive, make less noise, and have no moving parts. I plan on cloning the 500 GB hard drive in the Asus on to this 250 GB SSD and then using the SSD in the laptop. Yes, I'm finally going to have a computer with Windows 8. I was heavily leaning towards putting Windows 7 on the SSD, but Windows 8 supports the touch screen capabilities of the laptop (and I may occasionally use touch screen.) So by purchasing my own SSD and moving Windows 8 over myself, I'm saving myself a couple hundred dollars over most comparable laptops that have an SSD and the specs of my Asus laptop.

There are lots of programs that can clone your current hard drive over to an SSD. In fact, the top review on the Samsung SSD that I linked to above informed me that the Samsung SSD comes with cloning software. It really is a smart move if your current computer is really sluggish / hurting for speed. Every computer I plan on using in the near future has an SSD (or will have one if I need to build myself a new one from parts at any time in the future.) It will make more of a difference than upgrading RAM and SSDs are finally coming down in price to the point where they are affordable. I'm going to start recommending this as an option more often now when people tell me about speed issues their computer is having.

Crazy Busy Preparing for Law School

2014-08-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

I don't really have time to talk about anything cool or important today. No history, no technology. My schedule posted for law school with my book list. I can also get a parking pass now (which I'll need), register for the law library, and get my university ID. Just when I knock everything off my to-do list, there's a new list to start on.

My laptop for law school should come in on Wednesday. The laptop had all the specs I wanted but it had a regular 500 GB hard drive. I ordered a Samsung 250 GB SSD and I'm going to image that and put it in the laptop. Now that I've had a SSD for a while... I just can't go back to regular hard drives.

I'm going to miss having the chance to write fiction. I'm going to miss having free time in the mornings. I'm going to miss fishing. Here's a picture of the two channel catfish we caught the last time we went fishing:

They were about 3 lbs each. We also caught over 60 white bass. I'm pretty well stocked up with fish right now. Even though things are going to get harder, I'm excited for law school. The pre-orientation week homework has been an enjoyable read. It's a case study of a dispute over a Claude Monet painting and all of the laws involved with having a plaintiff in Germany and a defendant in New York.

Thanks to everyone who reads my blog. I'm going to try to find time to still post a couple of times a month and I hope you've enjoyed the blog posts every weekday last week. I still plan on doing some more this week. I just don't have time to blog much today.