Histrionics

Edward

2009-09-29T01:46:00.000-07:00

I think I am going crazy.
Is it even possible to fall in love with a character in a book?
To think that that person is real, even though he is not?
To get excited everyday reading about him again and again.
To can't stop thinking about him...
To hope that he is real...
Am I really this desperate?
Am I really this lonely?
Or am I just finding ways to run away from the pain that somebody left behind?
But thinking about him and not the stupid jerk who broke my heart...
Made me want to live again...
Keeps me happy...
Gives me hope...
Thinking of him makes everything okay...
Is it so wrong to hold on to this fantasy?
That a character in a book can really come to life?

Earth Evolution

2009-09-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

Everyday, I am getting more afraid.
You can now see it everywhere.
The Earth is changing.
The past few months several earthquakes happened here.
And now, with just a day of rain,
A number of places have suffered from severe flooding.
Several have died and thousands have lost their homes.
People cannot deny it anymore.
The climate has changed.
What's next?
Earthquake means movement of plates.
And the sea level is said to be rising.
Slowly, and destructively to humans,
The earth is changing.
The environment and maybe without us noticing it...
Even the landscape...
How long before the topography of the Earth starts changing too?
I am afraid not of the Earth changing.
I can't wait to see the New Earth.
I am afraid knowing that at some point,
A lot of people will be killed in the process.
Can I survive?
But what I am afraid more is that...
Will I find him?
Will we see each other before a lot of us will die?
Is he still even alive?
You see...
I believe in soul mate...
And everyday I get desperate in finding him...
I have to see him before...
Things get too late...
But how do I find him?
I'm scared...

Chasing the Impossible

2009-06-28T07:12:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I last visited this blog.
And a lot of things has happened since then...
Sad things...
Happy things...
But I learned a lot from these things...
Some things I want to forget...
But can't seem to...
How do you forget?
Sometimes...
I wish I can get my brain operated...
And tell the surgeon to remove a part of my memory...
Memories that I want to forget...
Memories that still keeps popping...
Memories that still hurts...
Why are some people so insensitive?
So cold hearted?
I am tired of fighting for something that is not really worth fighting for...
I wanted to believe that it is worth it...
That it can happen...
That it is possible...
But...
I guess I was just disillusioned...
I guess I lead myself to believe...
That another person can also believe in the impossible...
That another person can have the faith that I do...
But through it all...
I woke up...
I woke up to the reality that I should not settle for second best...
The impossible can happen...
I just have to continue believing it...

Please say CUT!!!

2008-06-14T04:18:00.000-07:00

Bad news
Upon hearing this kind of news
You kinda get stuck
What should you feel?
What should you do?
Are you allowed to be happy?
Though there are times
That upon hearing such news
Emotions just pour right out
Hearing that somebody in your family is in the hospital
Can make you feel...
I don't know...
Lost...
You don't know who to call...
You don't know what to do...
You don't know how to comfort your family...
Everybody just suddenly...
Detach themselves...
Everyone has a different way of dealing with grief...
But everyone is hopeful...
That at the end of the day...
Everything is back to normal...
That no one is in the hospital...
That everyone can freely laugh...
Without a cloud of grief above all of you...
That makes you feel...
That everything...
Everything...
Is just make believe...

Survival?

2008-06-03T02:29:00.000-07:00

It's hot...
It's very very hot...
The temperature is making you think...
Of things you should not think about...
Do you think this increase in temperature...
Is causing some people to lose their minds...
And commit suicide or murder?
The news have been showing lately...
Increase in child abuse occurrence...
Some even say that there is also an increase in juvenile suicide...
Do you think its the weather...
The food shortage?...
Is this a case of survival of the fittest?
Or are we just more aware now...
Or is it the media?
Featuring more of this kind of news now than before...
Hmmm...
Who knows?...
Who can we trust in this day and age?...

Blessing

2008-04-14T04:27:00.000-07:00

Something GREAT happened to me today...
A miracle...
yes...
A real miracle...
Just when I was about to give up...
Just when I was questioning my life...
Something happened...
That gave me hope again...
That I really have achieved my dreams...
It was truly an amazing thing...
That I was not able to stop myself...
I had to cry...
I have never done such a thing before...
Crying because of too much happiness...
But this time...
I knew deep inside...
That my prayers...
Have been heard...
As one song says...
Miracles happen...
Once in a while...
When you believe...

I love and respect ME

2008-04-10T04:44:00.000-07:00

http://www.nataliedee.com/nd-archives/ndarchive-nov05.php

Blogging...
I like to write...
Thus I like blogging...
So when an opportunity opened up to earn...
Through blogging...
I grabbed it...
Now...
I am not sure I like it anymore...
Because earning through blogging...
It seems you are now restricted to things that would promote your blog...
And not really write about things that you want to write about...
I just want to write what I feel...
Without anybody trying to judge if what i wrote...
Is interesting or not...

Benefits

2008-04-07T05:06:00.000-07:00

Very recently...
I have discovered...
That there are still a lot of things I do not know...
Like the importance of a fungi to a tree...
Whoa...
I thought fungi are just that...
Fungi...
They can be food...
Well...
I admit I know they have an ecological role...
Heck...
A lot of things do...
And most of them...
Are just being ignored...
Thinking...
They are useless...
But...
look at a fungi...
They're small...
Looking insignificant...
In the vastness of a forest...
But look closer...
Look down below the ground...
You'll see that these insignificant fungi...
Are the reason why these huge trees survive...
The harshness of their habitats...
Especially with the number of denuded habitats...
Trees need all the help...
To survive...

I miss you...

2008-04-05T05:49:00.000-07:00

Hugs...
I'll give one when we meet...
Won't be able to help myself...
It's one of the sweetest action that we can give to another...
The other is a kiss...
Just sad though...
That people are have demoted a kiss...
Into something meaningless...
Like you can do it...
Whenever...
And with whomever...
Really...
It's almost as if...
People nowadays...
Have becoming more and more...
Animal like...

Emo night

2008-04-04T06:10:00.000-07:00

Azuzephre. Jeff Thomas

Isn't Pon and Zi the cutest?...
And men!...
They just don't understand?!...
You tell them you love them...
And what do they here?
A foreign language...
Yup...
A foreign language...
Duh!...
Can't even say I love you back!...
Sheesh...
It's like they have this idea...
That since you already said it...
Then they won't have to...
Because they seem to think you already know...
What they feel about you...
Duh!...
We need to be reassure of your feelings for us...
You know...
Dang!...
I am not really sure...
If zi is a boy or a girl...
Dang!...
Hahahaha...

Ice Bat

2008-04-03T04:36:00.001-07:00

Ok...
This is ice bat...
He's so cute!...
I don't understand why they label him as an ugly doll!...
Ice Bat...
Like all bats are misunderstood...
Look closer...
Ain't he the sweetest looking bat?...
How can you not fall in love with ice bat?!...

"Everybody wants to be your friend
When you've got something you can give them
All I've seen, bad and good, she's not crazy
Just a little misunderstood"
-Better than Ezra, Misunderstood

Time

2008-04-02T04:43:00.000-07:00

Separation, Edvard Munch
Oil on canvas, 1900

"A thousand miles seem pretty far
But they got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way"
-Plain White T's, Hey there Delilah

Sometimes, it feels like somebody is too far away...
You want to see them...
But they're just too far away...
And then...
It comes a time where you will be seeing each other again...
Months, weeks and days of waiting...
If you have the power to pull the days...
To press forward...
Just so it'll be the day where you will see each other again...
YOU WILL...
You feel happiness and longing combined...
20 days still seem so far away...
Can I just sleep the days away?...
And wake up when we will see each other again?...

Cessation of suffering

2008-03-30T05:26:00.000-07:00

In order to attain happiness and peace, we must accept that life is coupled with suffering. We suffer because we are too attach to something that when that something disappears, change, lost, we can not function well anymore. We lose it. We feel pain. In order to reduce our sufferings, we must dettach ourselves. We must understand that in life suffering and happiness will not last forever. They interchange in our lives. Sometimes we are happy, sometimes we are devastated; but its fine because that's life. We cannot do anything about it. All we have to do is welcome it. Welcome the pain and happiness; good fortune or bad, etc. Welcome it because these shape us to be what we are today and in the future. And most importantly, be good. As one saying goes, don't do unto others what you don't want others do unto you. Karma.

Learn to forget

2008-03-28T05:00:00.001-07:00

One Season Too Late Lyrics (Keepsake)

He's in the back of your mind
all of the time
learn to forget
love. leave. forget.
And when I sit alone
I think of what you said
"better off just friends"
I'm better off just dead

And the hardest thing I do
is wake up without you
when everything falls apart
the emptiness leaves a mark

----------------------------------

Amazing.

Empty.

Pain.

Escape.

Sometimes we can be hurt to the core of our being.

A pain that we can't escape.

A pain that won't just go away.

And all we can do.

Is to pretend we're happy.

Because life should not be wasted on being lonely.

Evolution

2008-03-26T03:29:00.001-07:00

It seems that at present there are more and more gay men.

I don't hate homosexuals.

In fact, I admire them for their courage and success.

But when you look at it with the point of view of the survival of the species.

It seems that evolution is now favoring gays as compared to macho males.

I read an article once that the cause of men becoming gay is because women tend to choose males that have a bit of feminine qualities in them.

But it sure did backfire.

Because the men are becoming more and more feminine than females!

Will this push mankind to evolve into hermaphrodites to ensure the continuing perpetuation of the species?

hmmm...

It's really interesting what future humans will look like.

The earth is evolving.

Less and less forest are around, which could cause the destruction of the earth: global warming, lack of food and water.

It means death.

But, the earth has a way of surviving death.

Humans too has a way of surviving.

With the continued destruction of the forest, will this mean that the future earth will be without trees?!

Will the future earth be like the movie starwars and final fantasy?

With men searching for areas that has still trees to survive?

With men fighting over the limited amount of water and oxygen to survive?

With men depending on machines to survive?

With that kind of earth, it would mean more poisonous gas in the atmosphere.

Which would cause men to evolve into different forms!

Whoa!!

That is really amazing.

What would future men look like?

Will we be alien like? (green in color with large head and eyes...hehe)

Or would we go back to being ape like? (More hairs to protect us from the sun's radiation because it would surely be very hot what with the absence of the ozone layer!)

And like the evolution of some birds for example that evolve from being able to fly to flightless, like the ostrich whose ancestors are able to fly.(though I do not know why this is so...)

Hmmm....

It sure would be interesting to see what the future generation would be like.

What with the amount of radiation that hits us everyday.

It sure means that we may really evolve into a different form in the future.

I even think that cancer is just nature's way of choosing the fittest amongst men.

Before, I really wanted to become an oncologist.

Not just because I knew of somebody who died from it but because I felt that in the future a lot more people will acquire cancer!

All of us already has the onco gene in our bodies.

And with the amount of radiation that enters our body everyday.

It would really trigger these genes to metastize. (tama ba ang term?...hmmm...it doesn't matter...you get what I mean right?)

whoa!!!

That would mean in order to survive the earth, we must survive CANCER!!!

That would mean a great responsibility for oncologist.

They are the hope of the future after all.

Hehe...

Changing Us

2008-03-25T03:24:00.000-07:00

Change.

Making mistakes.

Are things that we ought to accept.

Expecting other people to tell us what to do can lead you to do things that you thought is good when most of the time it's not.

We have been given the freedom to choose, we ought to use that freedom.

We know in our hearts when we are doing something wrong.

We, ourselves, can change us.

Nobody else can.

Wanting other people to tell us to do what they think is right, may sometimes be dangerous.

Each of us have our own set of beliefs.

Doing things that other people is doing is not healthy.

You will lose yourself in that process.

We make mistakes.

And by doing that mistake, we learn.

Following other people, we may become slaves to a life we had not chosen for ourselves, but a life that we had decided to live because we were convinced that it was for the best.

We must not rely on other people to tell us what we did wrong.

We must not rely on other people to change who we are.

Because life is not supposed to be a smooth road.

Life is a bumpy road.

So let us just enjoy the ride.

We may have accidents along the way.

But that does not matter.

What matter is that we still had the courage to stand up.

Heal. And continue enjoying the ride.

Reasons

2008-03-24T03:42:00.001-07:00

Meaning...
Reason...
Purpose...
Why am I here?
Why did you leave?
Why?
Why?
Why?
There are a lot of whys in our lives...
We want answers...
We want to know why we exist...
And yet...
No matter how we try to find out what those reasons are...
We come out with more questions...
Maybe...
we don't need to look for an answer...
Maybe...
We are existing to look for those answers...
Or maybe...
there are no answers at all...
I don't know...
You don't know...
There are a lot of uncertainties to our existence...
Maybe we live because of those uncertainties...
I don't know...
There are a lot of things we don't know...
Maybe we don't need to know at all...

Friends

2008-03-23T03:17:00.001-07:00

You left.

Without even saying goodbye.

Why?

I was never angry with you.

I tried to.

But I can't seem to.

I know that you were going.

But why didn't you tell me?

Why?

Now, I will be forever haunted by these whys.

I wish you could have said something.

Succeed.

I know you can.

The next time we meet.

I hope we can still be friends.

Life

2008-03-22T03:56:00.001-07:00

doubts.
Asking yourself if you're doing the right thing.
Asking yourself if you're truly happy.
It's the thoughts that enter your mind when you thought that you made the right decision.
Life as they say is an endless road of decisions: of choices.
But how do we know we made the right choice.
Sometimes, the thing that you thought can make you happy can bring you so much sadness.
You never thought you'll get tired from doing it.
But then are you truly doing something.
Concrete results are the only thing that can bring fulfillment.
Because no matter how hard we try to deny it.
We want everybody to know that we have succeeded.
It may be difficult to suddenly change your path.
Because we are playing safe.
We cling to what we have right now because we already know that path.
And creating a new path, is very risky.
We never know what we are going to get.
So no matter what happens, although it brings us so much sadness.
Although it weakens our spirit.
We cling to it as if our life depends on it.
WE ARE ALL AFRAID.
I most certainly am.
This fear is what binds us and prevents us from being free.
Fearing that we might fail.
Fearing that we made the wrong decision.
Fearing that people may condemn us.
It's suffocating: this fear.
And its killing us: our dreams, without us noticing it.
When will we have the courage to break free from the chains that binds us?
When will we have the courage to let each other be: to respect each others decision?
We all have our own choices to make.
Let us mind our own lives and look at ourselves.
Are we happy?
Are we afraid?
If not, what are we going to do about it?
Me?
I just wish that one of these days, I could have that courage to change me.
To find happiness in my life.
To find peace in my heart.
To regain the energy to live.
Because right now, it feels like I'm carrying all the problems of the world.
And I don't know how to put it down.
I'm so tired and full of doubts.
I'm a burden to myself.
My body and my soul needs a rest from all the pressures of this world.
But how do I do that?
I really don't know.

Movie

2008-03-21T03:41:00.000-07:00

We are all actors and actresses

In the stage of life.

Some people pretend to be happy.

Some pretend to be content.

In reality,

We really do not know what another person feels.

We really do not know what is happening

Behind close doors.

What you thought as a child belonging to a happy family

Is actually constantly abused.

May it be emotional or physical.

We wake up,

Go to the office,

See our friends,

We pretend we're happy.

We pretend we're content.

Though some may share what they are going through.

But you can't really say what's on your mind.

You share the facts.

Put in some opinions.

But there are more important pieces that you left out.

We are not just actors and actresses.

We are also directors, scriptwriters

Of our own lives.

The Adventure Lyrics

2008-03-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

I want to have the same last dream again
The one where I wake up and I'm alive
Just as the four walls close me within
My eyes are opened up with pure sun light
I'm the first to know
My dearest friends
Even if your hope has burned with time
Anything that's dead shall be re-grown
And your vicious pain, your warning sign, you will be fine.

Hey ohhh, here I am
And here we go, lifes waiting to begin

Any type of love it will be shown
Like every single tree reached for the sky
if your gonna fall Ill let you know, that I will pick you up like you
for I
I felt this thing
I can't replace
Where everyone was working for this goal where all the children left
without a trace, only to come back as pure as gold to recite this all.

Hey ohhh, here I am
And here we go, lifes waiting to begin, tonight

I cannot live I cant breathe unless you do this with me..
Hey ohhh, here I am.
Do this with me. Here we go, lifes waiting to begin
Lifes waiting to begin.

"Lyrics of the song The Adventure by the Angels and Airwaves"

Happy Feet

2008-03-19T04:23:00.000-07:00

We humans lack respect.

Respect for nature.

Respect for each other.

Lack of respect could mean destruction or war.

If we only respect each other's culture, traditions.

If one race will stop thinking that they are superior than other races.

WE may have attain peace a long time ago.

Lack of respect for our environment are causing the rapid loss of our forest; our biodiversity.

We THINK that we are the only ones who needs to live, who needs shelter and food.

We clear up forests for our big cities.

FOR WHAT?!

For the name of development.

We do not stop to think that we are not the only ones who need to survive in this world.

We only think of our resources as something to be used up.

We do not think that when these resources are gone, we cannot bring it back.

We do not stop to think that the animals that we only think of as food or pets also needs food and shelter.

We do not stop to think that because of our SELFISHNESS, we are taking all the food, their habitats that they need to survive.

Some of you may have seen the movie happy feet.

If only we could understand what the animals are telling us.

But no, we only realize our mistake when a lot of these animals have sacrificed their lives.

In the movie, the dancing penguins were thought to be sending a message for the humans.

In real life, if people see a dancing penguin, that penguin will be put forever in a zoo, in the circus for our so called ENTERTAINMENT.

It's really a pity that animals can't communicate to us.

It's a shame that some of us still does not understand that in order for us to survive, we should live in harmony with nature.

Because most of those who keep destroying the earth have only one thing in their mind: MONEY and MORE MONEY!!!

Well I hope they BURN IN HELL!!!

Mumble (the hero from the movie happy feet) is right.

We are the ones who made a mistake (depleting the resources, clearing up forests, polluting the air, polluting the water, destroying everything for MONEY); we should also be the ones doing something to make things right.

Balance is important for the survival of the earth.

Without which, its not only the animals that will DIE. We are also affected. We will also DIE, because we NEED the EARTH to survive.

Adopt a Kitty

2008-03-18T00:21:00.000-07:00

see more crazy cat pics

Adopt a Kitty...LOL

Anybody would you just please adopt this kitty?...

Look at those blue eyes...

Aint it cute?

Can't you how desperate the kitty is?

Have you no hearts?

If you wanna see more kitties...

Just visit icanhascheezburger.com...

Lots of fun kitties and other funny animal pics...

Enjoy!

A Poem

2008-03-17T04:58:00.001-07:00

"Underneath" by Antoinette

I don't want to say "I'm sorry" because it makes me feel vulnerable.

I dont want to say "I'm mistaken" because it makes me feel weak.

I don't want to say "I Love You" because it makes me feel inferior.

I don't want to say "I miss You" because you might make of something out of nothing.

I'm afraid to show I care because it'll give you the right to hurt me.

I don't want you to see me weak and vulnerable because I'm afraid you'll leave me.

I want to prove to you that I can do anything because I don't want to disappoint you.

I hate it when you're disappointed because it makes me feel guilty and angry.

I don't know how to forgive myself.

I don't know how to stop feeling ungrateful.

I don't know how to lower my pride because I feel it's what I have left.

And it's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now.

I don't know how to accept me.

If I can't cure me, I don't know who can.

Fairy wanna be

2008-03-16T04:21:00.000-07:00

Boredom...
Doing nothing when I'm supposed to be doing something
What am I going to write?
Is it about you again?
Or about someone else close to me?
Everybody's hurting nowadays...
I thought I was alone...
I did not know your problem is bigger than mine...
I'm sorry I can't do anything about it...
What kind of friend am I?
To let you suffer like that...
I don't know how to ease your pain...
Everytime I think about it...
I feel guilty...
And it hurts...
I don't know what to do...
To make you happy somehow...
I laugh with you...
But deep inside I'm thinking how hurt you are...
And I don't know how to make that hurt disappear...
You pretend that everythings okay
But I know it isn't...
I hope your problem will end soon...
Because this is so not you...
Your supposed to be the happy go lucky among us...
But now...
I don't know...
If only I have the power to make everything ok...
If only I said something...
If only...
If only...