Hold On, Don't These People know I'm a Princess?

Conversations that we should not have to have in our daily lives

2016-01-01T16:19:00.000-05:00

So, I was perusing Facebook yesterday morning while having my coffee like I always do (when the baby lets me) and I ran across a status by a lady in my neighborhood saying that she was approached at a stop light by someone in another car trying to get her to pull over. They followed her on to the freeway, continuing to harass her and chase her down. It was midnight and I am sure she was scared to death. She said that she called 911 and they sent an officer to her location and the person took off, wrecking farther down the road.

Later in the day, hubby and I went to take my teen boy to his girl friends house so that they could smooch or whatever (I don't want to know). On the way home I brought up what I had read and we started talking about what I should do if the situation ever came up. By what I should do, I mean what I should do after I piss my pants.

We go over the whole thing about defensive driving, hit the brake, let them pass me then bump them between the back tire and bumper (pit maneuver) then speeding off. Weighed the pro and cons of driving off of the freeway through the grass in to a neighborhood was not a good idea because what if I broke something? Can't very well run away carrying the baby and they would probably catch me before I got her out of the damn car seat anyway.

It took me aback that I would be in a situation that my pepper spray or stun gun wouldn't help me with until it WAS almost too late. Instead of being my first line of defense, they would be my last. Well obviously I would use them because this broad wouldn't go down without a fight.

It was disturbing, the turn that a casual question of "hey did you see that post about the girl who got chased down in her car?", had taken. We were having a serious discussion about what on earth I would do if it happened to me. Now, I am not one of those women who think that nothing bad will ever happen to them. I am not naive in the slightest. Do I HOPE that nothing bad will ever happen? Of course I do! But the odds are not in my favor. One in six women are sexually assaulted in their life time. An aggravated assault occurs every 35 seconds! EVERY THIRTY FIVE SECONDS! Then of course you have car jackings, purse snatching, stalking, home invasions and of course situations like I was talking about above.

Our conversation went on for a bit and I said "Well, I guess I DO need a gun, huh?" We have been talking about this for two years now. I have never been a huge fan of fire arms, but I do see the merit. In today's day and age you have got to be ready for anything.We talked about how I would have to be prepared to fire while driving if necessary. Ok, I'm a girl, I know a lot about cars, but not a damn thing about shooting or guns. So in my brilliance, I said "I guess I would have to learn to shoot left handed.". Nope....I might drop it out the window! Oops, didn't think of that!

Hubby just looks at me after a minute and says, "It's a shame that we even have to have this conversation, but we do." And so we did.

I have learned a lot this last year, being a Damsel In Defense rep. A lot of useful information. The most useful? Layer your protection. Guns are great, but what if you drop it, or it jams. What if they grab it from you or you can't get to it in time. There is NO shame in also carrying a pepper spray.
If you don't have or are not comfortable with a gun (or even if you do) stun guns are handy because they are a non lethal form of protection. You do not always need to shoot your way out!
My point is, keep an open mind when the subject comes up and don't just ASSume that everything is going to be ok just because you have a gun!

Another thing to think about....most of my sales happen AFTER something happens. Don't become a statistic before you protect yourself. Take that step, make that commitment first and you may not become a statistic at all!

www.mydamselpro.net/tammysmith

The Supermom Phenomenon

2015-06-04T08:56:00.002-04:00

The baby is crying (she is hungry), phone is ringing, someone is at the door. Shake up the bottle with one hand while you hold the baby under your arm, phone to your ear with the other hand, while peeking out around the curtains.
One needs her hair brushed, one cant find his phone. Hubby needs a pair of socks....baby is crying again (wet this time). Stop in the laundry room on the way to change the baby, fill a hamper with clean clothes from the dryer while listening for the baby. Give the man his socks. DAMN I have to pee!!! Do it later, gotta change the baby.
Time to cook dinner. Baby is crying (this time she she sleepy). Fix a bottle, swaddle baby and get her to sleep. Just enough time to fix dinner, fix the boy and girl their plates......then guess who is awake. DAMN I am hungry! Eat later, gotta play with the baby. Hubby is finished eating, so grab a plate and shovel it in quick before she cries AGAIN.
Really would like to read, but guess what! The baby is crying (another diaper, muddy this time) Just forget it, I will read while I take a bath.
Splish splash, baby bath and bed time. Warm bottle for bed time and get the little one fed. She is out like a light in record time! Run up to the tub, all excited. Kindle in one hand, towel in the other. Hot water feels amazing! Better wash my hair first...just in case! Aaaahhhh squeaky clean! I will just lay back and read for 10 minutes, then better get some sleep before feeding #1. Minute my back touches the tub....waaaaaah waaaaaaaaah!
Up and out, down the stairs two at a time. An hour and a half later and Super Mom HAS to sleep or her powers are gone.

Off to dream land, where no Mom needs a cape. Eat when I'm hungry, pee when I need to, long hot baths in abundance! Millions of books to read and nothing but time. Long phone conversations with friends who have no kids. Blissful sleep for as long a Mom can stand it.
Until.....
It's 2 am and someone is hungry, wet, muddy and crying. Reach for the cape Mama.

Do you WANT to be a Mommy?

2015-06-04T08:52:00.002-04:00

This is hard. Being the mom of a 9 month old isn't the easiest thing under normal circumstances. Being the mom of a 9 month old at the ripe old age of 41...well...it is HARD! I have a good friend who is also 41 and has 2 children under 2, one of which has Down Syndrome. She is my HERO, I don't see how she does it, when one typical 9 month old can send me in to the fetal position myself on the best of days.
The thing is, my little Princess was a surprise, an unexpected gift. Rarely does anyone ASK you if you want a gift, they do not call and say they are dropping by with a puppy, a kitten, a gerbil...or a baby.
I was settled in my life. My youngest child was 15 years old and a freshman in high school. My oldest was 20. She has special needs and will live with me for the rest of our days. I was working, enjoying being able to go to bed as early and sleep in as late as I wanted on the weekends. I could go shopping, read a book, pee in private and shave both legs (at the same time) more than once a week). I could take an entire bath without having to hop out with shampoo in my hair to settle a baby before it woke completely up.
No one ASKED me if I wanted to be a Mommy again. Now, don't get me wrong. I am NOT complaining. I wouldn't give her back for anything, I can not imagine my life without my Princess baby. Would I have CHOSEN to get pregnant? No. I was over it, I had closed up the baby making facilities and hung up the "retired" sign.
As of now, I have not gotten a full night sleep since I was 7 months pregnant. I got a five hour nap, ONE time and woke up in the middle of it terrified because the baby had not woken me up.
NOT FUN! But the snuggles that I have time to enjoy! The little things that I have learned more patience that I had at 25 and can deal with easier. Some things are so much better as an older mom....or a Mom of advanced maternal age....or woman of a certain age.
My forced retirement is not all bad. I have time to get to KNOW my baby without having to fit it in to a small window of time in the morning and evening.
But those days. THOSE days when she is teething or just in a bad little baby mood and all I want to do is eat my dinner without a hand in my plate or drive down the road in the quiet without the wailing because she doesn't like to ride in the car...THOSE days I put my lip out and say "No one asked me if I wanted to do this". But I suck it up, keep on driving and eventually she is quiet or I get where we were going and everything is right with the world again. Until next time lol
I never gave much thought to anyone's inability to have a child until this baby. I had several friends and family members who was been trying to no avail. Quite a few of them much younger than me (mid 20's). Wonderful ladies who would make great Mommies. And here I was, pregnant without even trying, at 40. It humbled me. I had to consider their feelings while trying to figure out my own. Did I hide my happiness, or did I share it? I did both, but I'm sure that it still hurt them.
After thinking of them, I fully embraced new motherhood again. Who wouldn't?

2015-05-07T08:30:00.001-04:00

The 41 year old new Mom

MAY 07, 2015

When I found out that I was pregnant shortly after my 40th birthday (by shortly I mean 2 days) I was in total shock. My poor husband nearly passed out, no joke! We already had a 15 year old boy and a 20 year old girl who has special needs. We have just started a business 18 months ago that it was imperative that I be able to work at to keep costs of labor down. It was a terrifying experience at first. What are the older kids going to say? How long am I going to be able to work? Laying sod, which is what we do, is hard work! Would the baby be healthy? Would i hold up OK during the pregnancy? I was a little "old" to be pregnant after all..

As it happened, everything turned out great The other kids were angels about it, the pregnancy went wonderfully and I worked up until my seventh month. Baby girl is now a healthy and happy 8 month old. But....I am now 41. Age and pregnancy individually do not so nice things to your body. Age and pregnancy together, are worse!

I had negative weight gain during the pregnancy. I initially lost 7 pounds, and that is all I gained. So when I had the baby I weighed the 154 pounds that I started out at. Then I lost 15 pounds! Didn't even try, it just melted off over a couple of months. It didn't last.

With a baby that doesn't like to sleep and a super busy office to run while taking care of the baby, a mom who recently had back surgery and needed a lot of help..I ran out of time to take care of myself.

You know what they say about putting the oxygen mask on yourself first if the plane is going down, right? That you have to be able to breathe to take care of anyone else. Well, I stopped breathing. Just stopped caring about myself and put everything and evryone else first, starting with the baby, then my office, then my other 2 kids and husband, then my mom.

There were just not enough hours in the day to worry about how I was doing, what I was eatring or whether or not I was getting up from the desk and moving around or not. Not enough energy left to grab a bottle of water or a light snack. Fast food and hamburger helper won the prize. I gained every bit of that weight back plus 4 pounds in the matter of about 6 months.

I started taking Saba ACE about 3 weeks ago and have lost a total of 7 pounds without a ton of effort. I have not really started a work out routine yet but try to use my elliptical at least every other day. Aside from watching what I eat a little closer and drinking a lot of water, I'm not really doing anything differently.

The energy! Oh MY GOSH, the ENERGY!! Baby girl still does not like to sleep and gets up 2-5 times per night. This should make for a super tired Mommy, right? Not so! I take 2 ACE around 8 am and I am ready to roll all day. I was really looking for something that would give me energy naturally without the jitters, and I FOUND It. Also, I get no mid afternoon crash as many people do with other pills and energy drinks.

I made the decision to join the Saba team and I am SO glad that I did. I could not be happier to be helping my friends and family to gain the energy that they need to get through their busy lives as well as helping them on a path to becoming healthier!

Mommy Meltdown

2014-11-12T19:21:00.001-05:00

So, last Friday my 9 week old Princess Baby came down with a cold. I swear to bejesus that she picked it up at Walmart. I can tell you the exact moment in Tuesday we walked by a man chewing on a cough drop. I remember saying to my husband, "hold your breath, that dude is sick!" As I threw the blanket over the baby's head and hurried away.
Friday comes and she is so congested! I called her doc and since she bad no fever or green snot and she was eating like a horse they said not to bring her in. The next thing I know, it is Sunday and her Daddy says "uhoh I'm getting her cold!"
I told him he is full of shit, you can't catch a cold from a baby!!!!
Ummmmm....I was wrong. Yes I said it. I will even repeat it. I was wrong. The little shit has infected my whole house, except for me. Both of her sibs are now sniffling their heads off, loading themselves up with cold meds with dear old dad.
Everyone being sick means that I had zero help with the baby monster, so my house looks like a deleted scene from a disaster movie.
I spent the morning bouncing the cranky baby and trying to get her to stop crying. Yeah, that worked out well. Then I spent about 20 minutes locked in my bedroom with her pleading with the kid to just please stop crying, which ended up with me laying next to her on the bed, curled in the fetal position sobbing louder than she was...still in my night gown with my hair a mess at 2 pm.
One kid wanting lunch, the other needing data added to his phone, and Daddy Bear snoring away, comfortably settled in he recliner with a pillow and blankie.
Not the best thing for my mood at that point! But he is sick so I gotta let it slide, right?
Finally the baby takes a nap, I get everyone some lunch and she wakes up...did I mention that it was a short nap??.
Ughhhhh I still in my night gown!!!
around 4 she decided that I was going crazy enough and decided to take another nappy poo....so....
I got dressed! In dirty yoga pants and a questionable t shirt, but I am dressed and my hair is somewhat in order.
We decided on pizza for dinner and guess what! It isn't cooked all the way when hey bring it! So, of course, here we sit starving while we wait for the Papa Mobile to bring us some cooked ones!
9:30 please get here fast, so Mommy can have her melt down!!!!!
This is no life for a Princess :::sigh:::

2014-11-09T22:48:00.001-05:00

I was just thinking how things have changed since the last time I was a new Mom. 16 years ago it didn't matter if I breast fed, circumcised my baby boy, let the baby sleep in my bed, had a c section or let him cry.
This time around, all I hear and see is "know better, do better". And I feel like if I hear it one more time I may blow. I get the concept, really I do, and in some ways, I agree with it.

I have my own way of doing things and it works for me. Moms are so busy bashing each other for their choices. Shouldn't we be supporting each other? Being a Mommy is HARD. It is the hardest job there is. You are solely responsible (or feel like you are) for teaching a tiny little person how to BE. That is a lot of pressure!

I had a C section because it was safer for me. Now people actually apologize or pity me for having one. I didn't push the baby out of my hooha so I am somehow less of a woman and mother. My baby and I are both alive and healthy, so I call bull shit!

I chose not to breast feed. People react like I am trying to kill my child because she gets a bottle of formula instead of boobie full of breast milk. I have 2 other kids who were formula fed and they are both still alive, thank you very much! I call bull shit!

I do not choose to let my baby cry it out (CIO for those mommy's in the know). It is mean, and I refuse to do it. Babies need to feel secure, and they cry for a reason. If you were scared, wouldn't you want someone to comfort you? People tell me she will get spoiled and grow up entitled. I call bull shit!

I don't "baby wear". I get enough invasions of my personal space through out the day! If you wanna wear your baby, GREAT, but I'm not less of a Mom because I don't want to! People tell me that the baby will grow up insecure. I call bull shit!

I feed my (older) kids fast food, chips, ice cream and Halloween candy. People tell me that organic is best, no sugar, no carbs, whole wheat everything with a side of chick peas and sea weed. that is OK for them, really. I believe everything in moderation! I call bull shit

I do not cloth diaper. I can't stand the thought. I have never even considered it. I will just do my part to harm the environment and use disposables, thank you very much! People tell me how much better cloth is. I call baby shit! And lots of it!!

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Call me the village Idiot. I choose to make my own mistakes...and my own triumphs!

2014-11-09T17:51:00.000-05:00

Holy shit y'all....I did that thing that I do. I did it a lot! What thing? I let life get in the way of something that I love doing. It has been 3 years, THREE since I have posted on this blog.
When I started it, I was so happy, so excited to be writing. I love writing! The problem? I have the attention span of a newly hatched GNAT!
So much has happened in 3 years. We decided that we were unhappy in California and came home to Kentucky. The trip home was worth at least 10 blog posts! What an experience, driving across country with 2 teenagers and a cat, pulling our life behind us in a jam packed trailer. Kind of like a small band of gypsies.
We started a business. Sod. Not much of a story there, who wants to hear about work??

The big news...we had a baby this year! Completely and totally by accident, like two kids that do not know how this happens. I had a 40th birthday surprise, in the shape of a 7 pound, 3 ounce baby girl.

My now middle child just turned 16, so this is pretty much starting over and things are totally different than they were when he was born in 1998. Apparently I am behind the times, a bunch. But that's OK. I have always marched to my own drummer.
Stay tuned folks, I have a whole new world of things to blog about. You might not always agree with me, but I promise to keep your attention....one way or another....

Quiet Saturday Morning....What to do?

2010-09-11T12:32:00.000-04:00

Wow! Shhhhh it's quiet! I just realized that I would blog more if I had a new keyboard and a comfy chair...what an excuse! lol
So, we sold my son's Jr Dragster last weekend. It was kind of bittersweet, but he will end up with another one. He wanted to go to Disneyland with some of the money, so that cheered us all up! No one can be sad at Mickey's house, and if you can, then you need to be on meds!
Of course I had to wear my sparkly ears and my tiara. Together, they look like 1 piece and everyone asks where I got them...but I don't give away my secret =) I get to be the only Princess Minnie there, and that tickles me.
My hubby got on a roller coaster and shocked the daylights out of me. It wasnt a super skeery one, but he doesn't like drops and dips...but he liked it! My son talked him in to getting on it, he is too short to ride by himself, and I was fighting a head cold, so I wasnt about to do it.
The only down side to the weekend was the 7 hour ride home with no AC and it was over 90 the whole way, AND I had a full blown cold by then. NO FUN!

A couple of weeks ago, I opened my graphics program up for the first time in forever. I forgot how much I love doing it! All the pretty colors and things you can do!
This is what I have been up to

The Princess Is BORED..This Can't End Well For Anyone!

2010-08-24T13:32:00.000-04:00

WOW it's been a while, huh? W'ell see if I can type with these damn nails without screwing up too badly. It is a love/hate relationship between the nails and I.....Love the way they look, HATE the pain in the ass that they cause. Being a gearhead Princess, I usually don't grow them out but since we aren't racing right now, what the hell, let them grow and be a gurly girl for a while.
This month (August), especally the third week is kind of bizarre for me. I wonder if something celestial happens during a persons life that makes all important things happen during one space in time....My daughter was due to be born on the 20th. She came home from the hospital on the 20th, 7 weeks old already because she was pre mature. My wedding anniversary is the 19th. The day that I got burned working on the race car was the 23rd. All very life changing events! Who knows. All I know is that it makes for an emotional week for me.
OMG Maury was on the same channel as Dr Oz, and I forgot to turn it of, I HATE listening to those people! All the screaming and D R A M A! I have 2 kids and a husband, I get enough drama. I turned it off and immediatly feel my blood pressure dropping.

Enough with the chatter, you know why i'm here, so let's get to it. You know I HAVE to rant.

I found out recently that I am a DAMN YANKEE! I feel like I have the cooties and can't get them off!! My Great Great Great Grandfather fought for the NORTH during the WAR OF NORTHERN AGGRETION! Gone are all my hopes of one day finding my southern belle roots, my Scarlett O'Hara days are ovah..Whoa is meeee. YEAH RIGHT! I refuse to accept it, someone dressed the old guy up in that Yankee uniform and took his picture so they could black mail the family is all...yeah that's it! You can't hold the sins of the father against the child, and that goes for Great Great Great papaws too!

So I went and got a hair cut, finally. I hate moving worst of all because it is so damn hard to find a good girl to do your hair. I made an appointment, asked for a mster stylist to tame this mop of curls that I'm cursed with, and what do I get? A little shit who shows up 15 minutes late, makes me wait for 10 more and FINALLY she comes looking for me. By then I was already pissed, right? Dayum skippy! I explained to the dip shit that the last cut I got was done wrong, it's supposed to be an angled bob, the dumbass who cut it didnt take direction and cut the points off and gave me a ROUND cut...I showed said dip shit a photo of the exact cut that I had and she said ooooooh sure no problem. That should have tipped me off! I got in the chair and she started snipping...1 freakin snip per minute. I knew it was gonna take forfreakinever! I think I intimidated her when I was explaining about the last bad cut....whatever...anyway...so 45 minutes later, she stands back and asks me "hows that?" She had not touched my bangs and the sides were wayyyyyy too full, so I told her to thin it with the thinning shears or the razor, didnt care which...soooo after another 15 minutes of me pointing here and there to shape it up we decide we're done...AFTER she cuts the split ends off my bangs!!!! For petes sake girl cut the god forsaken bangs please! And she does....STRAIGHT ACROSS, I could have killed her on the spot! But they'll grow, I guess. She fiddles with it a little more with the flat iron, I pay and leave....while I was paying, I figured out she was not a master stylist, based on the price she charged me.
NOW, after I have washed it and TRIED to style it myself, I find out that the layers on 1 side are waaaaay shorter than the layers on the other! I am plotting my revenge as we type! I want to go in there and take the hair clipper to every GREEN hair on the twits head and leave her only with the inky black that is on half her head! then she can be lopsided like ME!

Hissy Fits...and other Southern Charms

2010-02-01T16:05:00.000-05:00

     Yesterday, I threw a good ol' fasihioned Princess size HISSY FIT.

his·sy 2 (hĭs'ē)  his·sies Chiefly Southern and South Midland U.S.
noun, plural ‑sies. Slang. a fit of anger; temper tantrum.

Blame it on being spoiled, blame it on PMS, blame it on boredom, hell, blame it on Obama. The plain truth of the matter is that I just felt like throwing one, and being me....well, I went right ahead and did it. All i wanted was the house clean. Ok, so it was already CLEAN, but you know the messes I'm talking about.
     Kid messes that THEY should clean up but don't random toys laying here and there, stacks of magazines, husband messes of the same sort....and your own mommy junk laying around...the nail polish that it was just too much trouble to carry back to the bathroom even thought you go there 20 times a day, old coupons, and uhoh...I left my shoes out too.
     SO, I put my lip out, crossed my arms and had a little fit. It didn't take much at all, I was surprised! The next thing I knew, me and my little army of 3 were working away. I even got the back yard cleaned up and the front too, and all it took was a HISSY FIT.
     If you have never thrown one of these, I highly recommend at least one a month. Coordinate it with your period, and I guarantee results. Mention the phrase "I have PMS", and whatever you want done...and voila! You get your way. It might take some practice, but you'll catch the hang of it pretty quick. And if you throw a big enough one, the rest is cake!
     I have come to realize that, low and behold, after living in the beautiful state of Kentucky all of my life until this past October, I have a southern accent! It's funny! When people point it out,t hey always try to mimic it, and that makes me LAUGH. 3 times this week I have had people ask me where I am from, and it always leads to the same thing. "you have the cutest accent!"
     Never knew it, coulda knocked me over with the proverbial feather. Sure, I use words like y'all, and hissy fit...but apparently I drop my G's and use don't instead of Do Not, Can't instead of Can Not Actually it comes out more like CAINT lol, She's, he's, who's, like their is gonna be no tomorra! I cain't enunciate to save my life! I was taught as early as the first grade that the AIN'T is not a word....WELL WHY THE HELL AIN'T IT?? People use it enough....I use it enough for six people. Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda. And I have notice that people out here, will correct your grammer. I have something to say about that. My Grammer was a nice lady, and she didn't speak the Queen's English either. She whooped my hind end for Cussin', and she would whoop yers for being rude enough to tell somebody how to talk! She taught me that when saying sonofabitch wasn't descriptive enough, their is always the good ol' sonofabitch on a bicycle!
     I don't just go to the grocery...I go t'Kroger, or I go shoppin'. Other southerners might say they are goin t'Piggly Wiggly, even though they have been closed for years....We are just goin to get food to put in the fridge...or as my Husbands grandma used to call it, the frigidairey.   I don't just order a soft drink, I order a Coke. They might only have Pepsi on the menu, and I might KNOW that, but it always comes out "COKE". No one can explain why.
     Youins...or You uns....means Y'all....and if y'all is too hard for you to grasp....think " YOU PEOPLE, or YOU ALL, YOU GUYS" I never picked up this word, and I have mostly heard it out of old folks, but who knows, when i am an old folk....I might decide to start sayin it!
     Oh my, Oh dear, Honey aint just for sweatenin' your tea! Everybody can be Honey...when your giving bad news, " aw honey I do hate to tell you this." or when you see your best friend, "Well Honey, how are ya?" Darlin', Sweetie, Sugah, it's all the same.
     Always always always remember to ask, "How's your Momma?", your Grandmomma, your Daddy, your second cousin Fred. It don't matter, manners require it, and every southern Princess whether she be a lady or a hellion, always knows her manners.

Hellion –noun Informal. a disorderly, troublesome, rowdy, or mischievous person.      I am proudly, at times, a hellion. I can't seem to help it. Sure, I can be a LADY when I HAVE to be one. But being a Hellion is so much more fun! Ladies have to sit and sip. A hellion can grab a red cup and hit the dance floor!
     Compliment your companion. Male or female, people eat it up. It don't matter if their new hair cut reminds you of your Aunt Myrtle after that time she got caught out in the thunder storm and got hit by lightnin', Stick to this, "Well honey, that new hair dew is so pretty, I have to get the name of your girl." No, you are not asking for her daughters phone number....her GIRL. Another word to learn. Hair stylist=GIRL who does hair.
     "Eat it up"....believe it, buy into it, like what you have to say. Y'all followin' all this?
"Yep"....Yes, sure, affirmative
"Naw"....No, NOPE, negative
     Fried chicken, beans and corn bread, sweet tea, fried corn, green beans swimmin grease from them ham hocks your granny always cooked them with. And don't forget the bar b que!   Sweet sauce, hot sauce, goopy, drippy goodness. Anyone from the south east KNOWS it's ok to lick your finger, ain't bad manners at all. It's called complimentin' the cook!
     Never, ever....oh...excuse me, Nevah, EVAH, where white dress shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. No body knows why, Darlin, we just don't Do it!
     Every man who is married to a Southern Girl knows the rule of the remote. If Your watchin the TV together, he has to stop at any channel that is showing Fried Green Tomotoes, Driving Miss Daisy, Steel Magnolias or (everybody bow) Gone With The Wind.   Scarlett O'Hara taught us each and every one to think..no...to KNOW that we are forever 16, and the cutest Belle in the county. No matter if we are 16 or 60, in our eyes, no one can touch us. Miss Daisy taught us that no matter how old we are, we are STILL in charge and it DOES matter what other people think of you. The Steel Magnolias collectively taught us that friends stick together, patience, caring, and laughter through tears, and let's not forget Tawanda, the Wild Girl of Borneo, The Whistle Stop Cafe, Idgie and Ruth, Miss Threadgood, they all helped to shape us.
     Every girl has dreamed of being swept off her teeny little feet by Rhett Butler, wanted to be sung to sleep by George Straight, We've Ooohed and Aaahed over the slow talkin', lanky cowboys in the movies, but a true Southern girl is as true to her man as she is to her own heart, as long as he is true to her.
     Let's talk about sports. We don't play them, we watch them. Football, Basketball and anything with wheels. Me, I like basketball more than football. Kentucky and basketball or as synonymous as Kentucky Derby and Mint Julep. A true Kentuckian ONLY roots for the University of Kentucky, but their are a few weirdos out there who are for that OTHER team who plays out of Louisville. Here I am in California, cheering on my team 2300 miles away...gives a whole new meaning to the term True Blue!
And on to motorsports. We have Monster Trucks, NASCAR, Demo Derbies, and Drag Racin'.....gimme the 2 lane side by side any time over the other stuff, but it's all good fun!
     When all this fast talkin', city junk gets you down, it don't matter where your from. Stop and think about cool breezes on a humid day, porch swings, honey suckles, and a big glass of sweet tea. No Lemon. It'll get better for ya, just watch and see!

Time for me to run now, give yer Momma a kiss for me Sugah, will ya, and tell her I said, "Hey!"

Feel the Earth Shake

2010-01-27T13:59:00.000-05:00

"Two earth quakes and a kajillion after shocks in 2 days and i didn't feel a damn thing. I guess i should consider myself lucky, but dammit, I could have at least felt a little bitty rumble." blog post started by me on January 8, 2010. I got busy doing something else and logged off.
Then we have the Haiti disaster and I feel awful for even thinking that, much less putting the thought out there. I'm bitching about not feeling a itty bitty earth quake and those people are fighting to survive after not only feeling the big one, but losing everything that they own.
I am going to say that I am ashamed of myself for whining over choosing to leave things behind when we moved....I have the ability to get new things, and I brought what was important with me, family photos, mementos, antiques, my favorite clothing, gifts from my husband that I would never part with, even the clothes that I burned in.....and my husband and children. I am ashamed of whining about missing my family when all I have to do is pick up the phone and call them, write an email or open a photo album. My point is, they are still THERE, and I KNOW this. I don't have to wait for news that they have been found beneath the rubble alive...or not.
My family is not sitting on an unsafe street waiting for someone to come by with food or water, and we know where we will be sleeping tonight. It won't be in a tent, my kids won't be scared to go to sleep, and I will know where they both are.
My 11 year old told me a couple of days after it happened that it was all he was hearing about in school, he was tired of hearing about it. Don't take that wrong, my child is not spoiled or selfish. I know he didn't understand the seriousness of the situation, mostly thanks to the 6.5 quake in northern California only days before that caused so little damage. He couldn't see what the big deal was, and again, I was ashamed. Not of him...but of the fact that I had so ill prepared him to understand and show empathy in a situation like that. I mark it up partly to sheltering him from the bad things in life, which I know now I shouldn't do, but a mother can't help but want to.
I see now that their is a way to guide a child through the tough spots and let them see that bad things do happen, but still protect them from the fall out. Kids are resilient, trust me, and they are smarter than given credit for. My kids have lost pets, been moved near family, away from family, made friends, and had to say good bye to move across the country to a strange place. They made new friends, and got to know the other side of the family. Kids bounce back, you just have to allow them to do it, but you have to do it gently. Watch your own attitude, and while you don't have to keep a smile on about things like say, losing a job, or losing your home, keep a good out look. Use it as an opportunity and show your kids THAT. There is always something else, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
By the way, my little boy told me on the way home yesterday that his school is collecting money for Haiti, and he's going to pick up every penny he sees so that he can donate it.

Adversity doesn't BUILD character, it REVEALS it.

What Doesn't Kill Me....

2010-01-26T20:48:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a while! About 6 weeks, we have left behind Christmas, New Year, and my birthday (I turned 36, YIKES!) We are coming up on Valentines Day pretty fast, and spring is hopefully just around a corner or two. If not, I give up! It has been raining for 2 weeks, it stops for a few hours, teases me with a little sun shine and starts right back up again!
I was doing so GOOD, walking 2 miles a day taking my boy to school and picking him up, and now the rain, and I have to drive!! GRRRRR! I think it's a conspiracy!
I lost 5 pounds in one week and then the rain started.  Well, that was the end of THAT!
     I really dreaded my birthday this year. 36 just seems to me like LATE 30's. Everyone told me that it's not, but it felt like it. Especally when I look at the fact that my husband is in his EARLY 30's! He was so funny the other day! We were getting ready to go somewhere or the other and he came into the bathroom and informed me that he was getting wrinkles! Now, I noticed these ages ago, crinkles around his eyes from squinting at the sun. I think they are adorable, and I know where they came from. It was so cute, getting to see him react to AGING! hahahaha I dont remember which Steal Magnolia said it about "time marching on, and it marches right across your face!" So friggin true!
     I think this time I want to talk about being strong. Not heavy lifting...well sort of, I guess the world on your shoulders could be kind of heavy, but not in the literal sence. I believe that we are not given more than we can handle. You just have to slow down and muddle through sometimes. Everything you are given is a test. You might stop now and again and ask why you are being punished. I catch myself doing that still.   Something will happen and you will wonder what you did to deserve something so bad. You didnt do anything, you are being teste for the next thing.
     For instance when my daughter was born. She was 8 weeks premature, almost died at birth and had 2 brain surgeries over the next month in the NICU before she was ok. I was 19. I didnt see it then, but going through all that I was being tested...to see if I was going to be strong enough to be here Mom.   I hung in there and apparanly I passed because 16 years later, she's still hanging around me, and believe me, if it had not been for all of that at first, I don't think I would be strong enough to hang in there now!   We have been through 4 more surgeries and time in the hospital, (nothing recent thank goodness) and struggles with day to day things like school and hygeine....but I built up my skin back then to take it now.
     My point is, when you think something is too hard, it can always get harder. When something is bad for you, it can always be worse for someone else.   It helps to find something to smile about, even if it's something small. You can't stop living life just because things are rough.
     My husband and I are opposites when it comes to that. He will get bored and want something more than he has (car, truck, parts, whatever) and I'm just happy with what I've got. There's not a lot of point in being in a bad mood over something that you can't have, all that does is make you feel worse, and worse than that, it make those around you feel like THEY aren't good enough.   Don't get me wrong, I want a new Camaro and a closet full of designer clothes but I'm not gonna get pissy over it! =)
     So, What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. a year and a half ago I was burned pretty bad working on the race car. I mean, I was on FIRE.   Not everyone will know what I'm talking about, but Methanol (alcohol, which the car runs on) burns clear and cold, and their was an accident, causing it to get on me...at first I didnt realize it, then when I did, my shirt was on fire, then my shorts. My fore arm and my waist area where my shorts where was burned. My husband had the water hose on thank GOD, to fill the radiator and had forgotten to turn it off, so he immediatly got it on me so it wasn't any worse than that, but it was still pretty bad. I had to strip my burning clothes off in the front yard under the hose. I had 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my arm and on my side. I was pretty freaked out to say the least, I had an ambulance ride, but only spent a few hours in the hospital. I made my husband take me to the race that we were in such a hurry to get to when we left....I dont even really know why, I just had to prove that it didnt BEAT me.   The next week I was right back in the garage starting the same damn car, and that time we got it running and out to the track.
I'm a little gun shy now, but I still love it....but I'm not as afraid to try things.   I hate fire, but I know it didnt kill me. I'm a little braver. I have a few scars, some of them you can't see, but the ones that you can, I don't hide, they remind me to stand a little taller when I get scared.   I was weak for a while, and scared and in pain that I had no idea existed, I cant imagine how people who have survived worse feel, but they do it every day. I had to depend on my husband to change bandages and take care of my kids and help me bathe...that has a tendencey to make you feel vunerable and pretty damn small. Would I have skipped it? I really don't think so....It did put a lot of "what if's?" in my head...what if the hose wasn't already on...what if i had breathed in the flames...caught my hair on fire (how I didn't when I took my shirt off, I have no freakin idea) what if it burned my face, what if one of the kids had been in the garage....their was an open jug if fuel right next to me. WHAT IF THAT HAD CAUGHT FIRE?? What if it had been my husband to get burned instead of me? Would I have been able to help? I don't know! Thankfully I didn't have to find any of that out. I handled it, and learned A LOT about myself.
K.W may be an asshole, but he was right.
That that doesn't kill me can only make me stronger.

Let that Pony Run

2009-12-11T20:14:00.001-05:00

Ok, So I have one kiddo getting a cold, and one with an attitude problem. Perfectly normal day! I haven't been on here in a while, but I watched Jullie and Julia with my hubby last night, so I figured why not kill some time.
It is raining and cold here in the bay area and it is GLOOMY! It gets dark so early here. Probably no earlier than anywhere else, but I am just in one of those moods where I gotta find something wrong with it! Why? Who knows! It's the cramps I guess....yep, I got them again, and nothing stronger than Midol in sight! GRRRRRR! What I would not give for a good ol Darvacet! Sometimes being a woman sucks....but then I think about it, and men can NOT be Princesses, so I will just deal with this shit and get it over with.
So I am falling asleep the other night and the sweetest thing happens. "Good night, Princess." I hear. Ain't that sweet, y'all?! I told ya he was a keeper :)
That makes a girl feel all warm and yummy inside, you know?
Well it is almost Christmas, and I have not bought the first damn thing. No tree, no lights up, nothing. I just don't have the spirit this year. Usually I just can't wait, but this year, I dunno, I'm not feeling it. It's not so much a grinchy feeling, just.....blah. Got to get over that or the kids are gonna be PISSED!
We FINALLY found the Super Walmart! Yay me! And the Famous Daves BBQ. If you have never been there, you need to go. You will eat too much, it's OK! Great food, people, and it is OK to lick the sauce off your fingers.

Hmmm.....what is my little rant this time........?
Ok, Got it.
It's funny that I always said I would never own a Ford Mustang. Sure, I always lusted after them from a far, kind of like a girl crush I would'nt ever tell any one about. I flat out said it was like gay sex. I wasn't about to try it, for fear that i might like it and start some lesbian affair that I couldn't end.

Instead I always played it safe....drove GM stuff. Stuff that I considered ballsy, like me. Camaros mostly, Trans Am's..I Loved those. Then stuff that was not so Ballsy. I had a nice lil Grand Prix once, a mini van, a big SUV...played it real safe with a Crown Vic. Blech! I REALLY hated that one.

So we get to California, and of course we did not drag a Crown Vic that I didn't even like all the way across the damned country. I borrowed my mother in laws Suburban for a couple of weeks...and it's nice, but people out here can't drive! And there I was driving around a strange town, trying to find my way around in a tank! It was time to get a car!

After days of searching, a quite a few hoaxes on the LIST, We found this little red convertable online. The problem with it? It was NOT a Camaro. It was NOT a Trans Am...which I classify as dudes, and sexy as hell... I was having a girl crush.
So my husband called about it for me, and we set up this meeting in a parking lot of the ethnic grocery store....real clandestine like.....this foreign dude drives up with this real sexy red head and my jaw dropped. My palms were sweaty! I wanted to run my hands over her curves, feel her rumble under my butt....
This was a Sunday, and under the circumstances, I had to really think this thing over...was I ready to switch teams?
Hell yeah! We made the deal in the same parking lot, it was dark, talk about kinky! I counted out the cash to the pimp and now.....I am enbroiled in a love affair with a curvey, topless redhead. And I just don't know what to do! Is it wrong? Should I feel guilty? It's almost like cheating! But I can't feel bad...When the sun is shining and it's warm enough, I can put the top down, turn the radio up and go! If Lovin Her is Wrong, I dont wanna be right! LOL

Life is like a bad country song, people! Live it!!

Things That I Like

2009-11-26T11:28:00.000-05:00

My Family (Love them)
Coffee (Yummy!)
Holidays
Reading a good smutty trash book
silly magazines
boots
Levis
Music
I secretly like talk shows even though i bitch about them, but NOT Springer
babies
my bathroom
crispy apples
my car (love it)
Sun shine and 65 degrees
loud fast cars. should not be loud without being fast
nice smells
quiet time
Blue
comfy clothes
shopping
good hair days
cooking
a nice clean house
when my kids are playing together not fighting
pink roses
hot baths

THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF

2009-11-17T13:12:00.000-05:00

PMS

liars

people who cheat

people who live to "work the system"

rain when I want sunshine

calling the social security office, and the first question you hear is, "do you want this message in emglish or in spanish?" its the fucking social security office for christs sake! If you dont speak english, you should not be calling the social security office!!!!

not taking care of your kids

enabelers

people who allow themselves to BE enabled

grey hairs on my head

wrinkles on my face

burned coffee in the drive through

cell phones at the table

people who know it all

pimples

people on talk shows

braggarts

over steppers

people who think that they are better

nasty smells

making typos

pests

bad drivers

people with bad breath or BO that wont do anything about it

drama

my kids argueing

incompetant people in high positions

my good computer being broken

not losing weight fast enough

pants too big, pants too small...none fit!

typing with long nails

my hair

clutter

bad music

people who let thier children beg in the street, they should do it themselves

Sweat Drips Down My....

2009-11-12T01:08:00.000-05:00

Kids can be source of amusement. You can be a friend and be a parent. You can have boundaries, let them have fun, and be "inappropriate' and cut up sometimes...well I can. You can do whatever you want with yours. Mine like me and i like that. They also know how to act when it's important. My little boy has a thing about saying BALLS. Yours probably does to, i f you have one, even if you don't know it, i bet ya he does. BALLS is funny!
If you don't believe me, just watch "The Proposal" with Sandra Bullock. BALLS are hilarious!!!

I started my morning pretty normal. Then I was downloading some music. And then it started. I texted my hubby some funny raunchy lyrics in hopes that he would crackup in front of either his boss or a customer. I went down hill from there! Da dum da dum dum dum dum....hahaha
Well anyway, we both thought that scene in the movie was funny, if you haven't seen it, go to red box and get it! You will see!

So like I said, my daughter is developmentally delayed. No big deal. But sometimes it's hard to get her to do normal teen age girl shit, so I bribe her. I get a kick out of it, and she gets a giggle out of it and maybe feels "normal" for a few minutes". Well I had to go to the store. Me and the lil guy like to cut up and have fun in the car. She DOESN'T! So, that song..the "sweat drips down my balls" one comes around on the MP3 player. I am SURE you see where this is going. Me and the kid are singing at the top of our lungs, windows down, and the poor girl is red as a beet through the whole First time. And he hits repeat, and by then she is scootin down in the seat...the girl is no dummy, she knows people are looking in at the stop lights, but I don't really give a crap, it's funny, and she's embarrassed of her mom, and that's a normal 16 year old reaction, so I'm of course gonna milk it for all it's worth.
I turned the volume down a little and offered her five bucks if she'll sing it...again, she's no dummy! So she starts belting it out, till she looks over and sees the guy in the car next to us looking over about the time she should be singin about sweat dripping down her balls! So she doubles over in the seat. Too funny!

Eventually I took pity on the poor kid and had him change it, and Brooks n Dunn "play somethin' country " comes on. About the third verse,I almost wrecked the car when I hear a big AWOOOOOOOOOOO come out of that kids mouth right along with the radio. PRICELESS!

I'm HOW old?

2009-11-10T15:12:00.000-05:00

Damn.
I woke up one morning, and I wasn't a kid anymore.
Funny thing is, I knew I was married and had 2 kids. Hell, I even owned a house and had a cat, a vehicle payment, a job...bills...i knew all of that. Why didnt I get the memo about growing older? I am telling you, that shit just snuck up on me. I never felt it, and I be damned if I saw it....but there it was. In the mirror. Aw, i knew about the grey hairs, who am I kidding. Those don't count. I have been hiding those since I was in my early twenties.
Let me clarify. I do NOT feel nearly 36 years old. I barely feel 26. Most days, I don't think i look 30. Well, sometimes when I'm feelin' bad and all sorry for myself, I think oooh poor pitiful Princess, your almost to the bottom of the hill, you may as well join the AARP! Anyway, my husband is only 33. I think he's hot. A lot of my friends think he's hot, and he's a sweet guy...so the age thing tends to get to me once in a while. It does tickle me sometimes when people say he looks older than me, though! lol
So, I used to have this convertable Camaro, and damn I loved driving that thing. One day I was in the car pool line picking up my then 9 year old. (SHOULD have been a clue that I was gettin older, huh?) Anyway, the sun was shining, I had the radio on, feelin good after work, right? So I flipped down my visor to do a quick fix on my lip gloss because we were going to Walmart right after....and I saw! Oh Dear God! No! LINES BY MY NOSE!! Three on each side. Horizontal lines, right there, by my nose. And I could see them perfectly with that beautiful sun ball shining over head.
I must have blacked out because the next thing I knew the car in line behind me was honking and it was time to pull up. I don't remember what I was going to the store for, but I know exactly what I bought. Wrinkle cream. It took me an hour to pick it out, and I remember wanting a trench coat, hat and big glasses. Of course, all of the self check out lines were full. Eventually when I found a line, the cashier was all of 12 years old with perfectly unlined clear skin perky boobs and weighed 100 pounds! I know she was giving me a look, the little shit!
Don't even get me started on the boobs! I will get mine done, and that my pals, is a tale for another day!
I really don't mind being in my 30's. I'm enjoying it. I am old enough to do what ever I want, to have what ever opinion that I want to have, and be able to back it up with enough experience to know that I don't sound like a dumbass. I have earned my wings in being a teenager, the child of an alcoholic, being the child of a victim, and learning how NOT TO BE one..going to the gyno, periods, PMS, pregnancy, childbirth, staying up all night with a new born, raising toddlers, having a special needs child, parenting my parents, party planning, partying, winning, losing, loving, making friends, losing friends....AND i know that I'm YOUNG enough that I have a whole other lifetime of things to learn and do.

Good Morning Stepford!

2009-11-09T18:25:00.000-05:00

I like the town that we moved to. It's GREAT. Not too big, not too small. It has just about everything you could ask for cept a super Walmart. THAT is a story for another day. I threw a Princess sized hissy fit about that, let me tell you!

So, we live in this little "commune" (not really a commune, but I like to call it that) of town homes. Some of them are in 3's and 4's. Some are only duplexes. They all look alike! It's a pretty snazzy little place, there are only about 100 houses in here, and it's very private with a pool and video surveillance. The unit itself is huge, but the yard can be mowed by turning in a circle with the weed eater running, i shit you not! We even have these guys who come by at 6 am with leaf blowers and clean up the street. Oh I just LOVE them! haha Waking the Princess up at 6 am.....yeah right. If i only had a rottweiler! Sic'em Spikey!

I am an original. I am for everyone being themselves. Dress how you want, speak how you want, Be YOURSELF! I even had blue high lights in my hair when i was 33....again, another story, another day, so you can imagine how this sameness effects me. I felt pretty blue for a while. I think my husband thought that i was home sick. Maybe I was a little. That wasn't the big thing though. I wasn't MYSELF. The Princess Mommy didn't live in a place where everything looked the same. Hell, I didn't have my family, I didn't have my friends, of course I no longer had my job, our hobby has an uncertain future, and let me tell you, drag racing has been in my BLOOD since i was born, yet again, another story, another day....we sold my car before we moved, we sold or gave away 80% of our possessions and were given nearly a houseful of gently used, beautiful items, that don't get me wrong, I am SO grateful to have, but at the time, I did not think of as my own....I had lost MYSELF. I felt like i was not even here. The problem was, i was no longer at home either...so where in the hell was I?

I goofed on it for a few days trying to make it funny....I did a little "Faith Hill" turn in the drive way....you know like in the movie Stepford Wives, where she got STUCK in the do so do, and i would say, "Good Morning, Stepford". And one time it worried me....so I stopped.

Halloween came, and I have always LOVED Halloween. I never got cool costumes as a kid, well I can remember one, my mom worked at a fabric store, and I got the floor sample of the Butteric pattern one time. it was a clown, and I loved it. Big feet, red nose and the wig. I think I was about 8. Anyway, about an hour before time for the kiddos to start prowling around, I was in my bedroom putting away laundry, and saw this skirt I wore to my Mom's vow renewal. I was kind of Bollywood looking, Long flowey brown with sparkles, so I grabbed that, a sparkly shrug, a bright tank and a shiny scarf....tons of make up later, emerged a Gypsy Princess, complete with rings on her fingers and bells on her....ankles? lol

All it took to snap me out was a little originality, and a little bit of my old, who gives a flying flip what people think attitude....and I realized that it didn't matter where I was, I was still me.

Well, Here We Are!

2009-11-09T01:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, so...here I am alone, just like I like it. I never seem to get enough alone time these days! I guess when writing a blog, alone isn't where you want to be, but I guess that part comes later now, doesn't it?!

First things first. Spelling and punctuation.. Sometimes, there may not be any! I am an intelligent person. BUT, sometimes, I make typos... I am a PRINCESS, I am not PERFECT. There is a difference. There will be NO internet spelling Nazis here.

Second: I most usually always speak my mind. It is therapeutic. If you hold things in, it's toxic, and all sorts of nasty things happen, you get stressed and stress leads to belly fat and gross things like pimples and headaches!

Third: I am a gear head. I love cars, the louder and nastier the better. Quite a weird hobby for a Princess, no? Horsepower ROCKS! I let my 11 year old drive a Jr dragster, which some will compare to a go cart...i guess that is a sufficient comparison, if a go cart can run 70 mph. The kid loves it, and it is no more dangerous than football. To date, There are no Jr Dragster deaths, but i bet i can show you 10 foot ball deaths in the last 2 years, that i have seen i the news....so I listen to no SHIT about letting my baby boy drive :)

I have a 16 year old girl who has hydrocephalus, which is water on the brain. the thing i hate most in the world is when STOOPID...and YES i can use that word if I want to....anways, I hate it when STOOPID use the "R" word as an insult. When you do so, you also insult my mentally retarded child. This pisses me off the same way it would piss off a mother bear if you stole her cub and dangled it before her after waking her from hibernation! Having a mentally challenged child is tough. I am not complaining in the slightest, but you may catch me on here ranting from time to time. A LOT. It is therapy :)

I have been married to my husband for 15 years, and we have together for 19. We were high school sweethearts. We were, and are best friends. if you can't be best friends with your spouse, you probably shouldn't be married, because I guarantee you, sometimes, being friends is all that gets you through. I'm safe enough in our relationship to say that. I would say that we grew up together, but that would be a lie, we are STILL growing up! And it's fun!

Ok, so the Princess thing....It's my husband's fault. I am spoiled. Not materially. Wait, I do get a lot of things, but there are a lot of times when we live pay check to pay check, and I FEEL just as spoiled as when I get to go on a shopping spree. It's in a look that I get, or a touch, or any little thing. I don't whine or whimper and constantly ask for stuff, I don't sit on my ass and wait for people to do things for me, but I KNOW that if i want something and it's in his power, all I have to do is say so, and it's mine....but ya know something....having that knowledge is 100 times better than having what I could get!

So, we just moved across the country to California from Kentucky. I am a southern girl at heart. We left our family and friends, everything that we knew, pretty much for my husbands job, and to be near his mother and sisters for a while. We have been here for a month almost, and it's VERRRRRY different. I was told that I have an accent...who knew?!
That, my friends, or soon to be friends, is why I started this blog....I am a stay at home mom for the first time in 5 years, am bored, and have a story to tell!
Put on YOUR tiara and stay tuned!