Holistic Mama

Miss 4

2012-04-18T13:14:00.001+01:00

Yesterday...
there were cuddles to begin the day

singing happy birthday

a dancing birthday cow online

balloons and presents

a camera flash not working!

fun with new toys

baking together

quiet play and snuggles on a thundery day

(today was ours
the kiddie party on Sunday.)

Happy Day of Birth my pixie.

drawings, food, other

2012-04-04T09:45:00.000+01:00

Her drawings leapt almost over-night from stick-figures (with limbs and no bodies) to full story-like creations. A wonder to see.

reposting this one as her paper drawings have been drawn over and over.

Little Miss Food-Weary is so great at at least giving things a try and I couldn't believe when she actually enjoyed a lentil soup I made, and asked for it again! It was such a different flavour to everything else she has that it made me beam and beam. It's all about getting her to try and hopefully accept different flavours really.

The thing is, she eats really well. All the main food groups, and other than occasional crisps/chips, and very occasional fructose-sweetened chocolate, it's all super wholesome.

What else.... oh yes, she's getting on the loo on her own. She's playing for longer on her own (although still needs a ton of encouragement). Her vocabulary is as amazing as ever. She's enjoying music more.

She's decided that she is 'shy'. She's always been cautious, and needs a few/several minutes before she warms to a situation or person. I'm happy that she is vocalising her need - I'm shy right now mama. And when she's ready - I'm not shy any more mama! And she leaps in and chats away to child and adult alike.

Can't really remember when she stopped referring to herself in the 3rd person, but I recall it was in line with normal cognitive development. And now she's doing it again. Not sure whether it's because I sometimes say 'mama loves you' and similar 3rd-person phrases, or something else altogether.

popping in

2012-03-16T07:47:00.001Z

It's a crazy week over here. Major house works, ill child, so much sorting and planning and deciding.....

I'm considering giving up joy pockets for good, we don't have that many participants really. I will likely do something related, but over at my personal blog, or extend senses shared.....

If you have done a joy pockets this week, let me know anyway!

Anyway, off to deal with the craziness..... have a beautiful weekend friends.

joy pockets #40

2012-03-09T08:18:00.000Z

"That's her wish mama"
"Oh, I see, and what's her wish?"
"To visit a castle, that's the door"
(cute)
"And it's got a big mat... to wipe your shoes on."
(practical!)

my little joys this chaotic week...

♥
.
discovering a place that does chicken tortilla wraps.
.
finding inexpensive bed linen
.
visiting a new town
.
her desire to be helpful
.
furniture arriving on time
.
a hot drink while she plays with beach stones
.
her drawings going from heads with limbs to bodies
.
a sunset
.
Miss 3 demanding to learn math!
so we've begun with addition (plus)
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

If you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below.
And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

joy pockets #39

2012-03-02T07:33:00.000Z

this moment

my little joys this week...

♥
.
a day out
.
sunshine and warmth returning
.
a reasonable price quote for work we need doing
.
an understanding husband
.
good take-away coffee
.
a surprise custard cream pastry
.
finding the furniture we needed
.
"mama, i want to listen to some music"
"ok"
"the one that blows off my socks"
"!!"
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

If you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below.
And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

enjoying young

2012-02-27T09:42:00.000Z

Lots of talk about being 4 these days, which she'll be in mid April.

People use the phrase, 'you're such a big girl' - as a compliment.

I find myself using similar phrases, that she can now do such-and-such because she's bigger, as encouragement. Or sometimes as fact - you can do that when you get bigger.

What I really want is for her to not look to the horizon of years, but to enjoy being a kid.

moment and pockets #38

2012-02-24T08:23:00.000Z

this moment

my little joys this week...

♥

.
her beaming face and laughter at watching herself on video
.
receding snow
.
relaxed love
.
ability to take quick snaps or videos with a phone
.
how much she's playing on her own
.
listening to her creative play
.
bloggers getting rid of their word verification
.
"so what are you going to do today?"
"let's see after I finish breakfast."
"will you play with your toys or do some reading work?"
"some reading work will be good"
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

joy pockets #37

2012-02-17T16:09:00.000Z

A quiet week, feeling cocooned in the snow, riding through the last of our colds.

a shawl, a wood burner, cosiness supreme

♥

.
warmth
.
cuddles
.
ticking off big sections in her 'work' book
.
writing my first real letter in decades
.
vitamin C
.
a 4 star book
.
delicious sweet pink ladies
.
feeling positive about a homeschooling future
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

joy pockets #36

2012-02-09T21:50:00.001Z

I've not been in the head space to do these, but it always feels good when I get back to this Friday ritual.

A big thanks to Melissa for keeping joy pockets alive while I took a break.

After 7 weeks in England, we're back in Montenegro safe and sound.

the woods are all covered in snow now

♥

.
returning to snow-capped mountains
.
re-nesting
.
her endless love of reading
.
a new stack of (2nd-hand) books
.
"mama, if you stop eating, will you grow small like me?"
.
my new (pre-loved) little tea pot
.
the wood burner
.
varieties of teas
.
watching snow-fall together
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

plaits & joy

2012-01-19T15:56:00.000Z

first plaits

We've been in England over a month now and I'm exhausted but we're all enjoying ourselves and loving family time. Joy Pockets has been on a bit of hiatus, but Melissa has offered to host them for me until February. Do pop on over there tomorrow to link up.

learning grumpies

2011-12-12T08:38:00.000Z

The first two grumpy sessions went by as normal. On her third (very prolonged grumpiness for a 'small' trigger) a tiny bell went off. But that morning, on her 4th big frustration-verging-on-meltdown-but-not-quite-getting-there episode. I realised - ah, something has built up and needs help getting out.

At this age now, 3^1/2, getting her to release via a tantrum or big cry isn't as easy. Before, simply her own frustration and my own frustration at the situation, got things going nicely. It was fine for her to direct her anger at me to release. But I want her to begin to understand more how having a big cry/scream is what we can do if things have built up to such a level. That having a cry is good and it's not out of anger at me, necessarily.

So I was unsure what to do. She is still young of course.
I asked her if she wanted to cry - NO!!!
I mimicked her angry face, her quivering lip, her stance, feeling her emotions. This helped a little.
I thought of asking her to punch a cushion. This annoyed her. Good. I figured it could work in reverse.

So I took her to a safe place in the kitchen, got down on my knees, and told her to hit the cushion. And kept at it. And it got her angrier and angrier, and she screamed, and finally the tears came out.

I knew there was more, but she wanted a hug and that calmed her down. Perhaps another go if a 'grumpy' comes up.

Then we went upstairs, cuddled under covers, she was better. And she asked to do some reading. So downstairs to fetch the 'big reading book', and then on my way upstairs, BINGO - the grumpy sessions, the pent up emotions... all coincided with her recent huge cognitive leaps in reading! Big leaps, plus little frustrations... of course it was building up.

I'm so glad I can give her this gift - of loving acceptance towards those difficult emotions. A safe place to release.

And after reading, and her being totally relaxed and happy, we chatted about how grumpies want to come out.
'How can we let them out?'
'By crying.'
'That's right darling. And then a hug............. I love you so much.'
'I love you too mummy'

joy pockets #35

2011-12-09T08:38:00.001Z

browsing bookshops with English books and notebooks

♥

.
hearing her read full sentences
.
finding balance, feeling lighter
.
a trip into the capital
.
financial possibilities
.
soup
.
new art ideas
.
mama time while she attended a party with daddy
.
spiritual chats
.
silence
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

learning at home, deciding

2011-12-06T13:20:00.001Z

I've written virtually nothing on this but felt it about time, and was in a writing mood.

I've not written because it's an almost ridiculous toing-n-froing in my mind. I mean, I come to a complete definite answer...and then switch back. I may be a Libran, but I'm actually incredibly decisive.

Despite having little faith (not, no faith) in the schooling system, I believe more strongly that homeschooling is not for everyone. Not for every parent and not for every child. Despite some very dogmatic believers out there, school can be exactly what your child wants/needs - like it or not.

So, that aside. My dilemma comes not from whether it's right for my child, because I believe in homeschooling. Also, I'm totally open to taking her to school if at some point she desires it and we find a decent school. I won't sacrifice her unique needs her for my theoretical beliefs.

My dilemma centres on my needs. Unlike some homeschoolers, I believe in a whole family approach, not a child-centred one. That means that everyone ought to feel good about the choices. I've read articles and discussions online aiming to induce guilt. Not for me thanks.

However, when I say my needs, it includes her more than that might suggest. I need creativity, space to think, meaningful work (at home), and lots of silence. These are, for me, fundamental to feeling balanced, whole, sane.

I'm also not a crafty hands-on mama. I'm okay with that. My gifts to my child are word related, books, reading, ideas, computer use, languages, discussion. Also compassion and related social awareness. I also provide paints and pencils and lots of paper. I just don't sit there making stuff out of toilet-paper rolls.

And despite being so great at the word stuff, her incessant talking can drive me to distraction. She is a clingy child and until the Husband comes home, has dinner, showers, a cup of coffee and a quick breath after work, and then plays with her and I leave the room, I rarely have 5 straight minutes of silence.

So having a child at home is exactly antagonistic to my needs. It's a combination of that and being rubbish at many activities (or rubbish at wanting to do them). And that we live a little isolated.

I am determined to have her at home until school age (6ish). So that has meant no nursery, preschool, etc. But after that? So many fun things, so much communicating, different view points, that she can engage in.

I do not for one minute believe that school can give her more than I can give her. But I can see how it can provide certain things I'm unwilling to give. I can make toilet-roll puppets, but I'd rather stick a hot fork in my eye.

I can see that for natural mamas, for very hands-on mamas, it's no big deal.

When I'm of the mind that we can do this, I see it's possible if we had clubs, communities, outside activities to attend. Not really possible here (in Montenegro), but possible if we returned to England. But that means an enormous shift of lifestyle. Can we retain the lifestyle we have worked for (out of the rat-race) and live in England? Or do we find a great school, Montessori or something? But that costs too.

And community. Here, she is not only a foreigner, an expat kid, but also the only one of her expat friends who doesn't attend pre-school/school. It won't be long before she becomes aware of that. She is a lone outsider in a tiny outsider community.

Then just a couple of days ago, when she talked like a champion talker, I said to the Mr - school would stifle her. They spend half the time telling kids to be quiet. She has an innate emotional need to talk things out. She might drive me batty, but I never ask her to be quiet (or at least not 99% of the time).

I have also thought that it would be easier as she gets older. After all, an older child can entertain themselves so much more right? I could just be the provider of guidance of which she takes up and does her thing her way. But then I know of at least one mama who found a 7-yr-old at home like returning to toddler days - everything had gone back to bite-sized portions of time.

On days I hear her read and tell stories and do her puzzles while I write or read or crochet, I feel glowing and love that I'll be giving her the gift of homeschooling.

On days she will not stop to breathe for talking, when she clings and clings and refuses to play alone, when I look back and see she did very little other than watch DVDs and read a few books, and I am desperate for a nap for the sake of my health and some silence for the sake of my sanity, and at the end of the day I'm in tears for the lack of both.... I think, no way homeschooling.

You see? Round and round. If nothing else, I wanted to write this out. To have here to read back one day. And of course I've simplified it all for the sake of brevity.

Talk to me mamas.

joy pockets #34

2011-12-02T07:35:00.000Z

A nice week.
I'm taking it easy.

♥

.
watching self-directed learning
.
thai green curry
.
knowing beauty
.
hot cocoa weather
.
the sun shining in it's Autumn way
.
chocolate cookies minutes from the oven
.
writing my book
.
4hrs of mama time!
.
being of help
.
crochet + a chick-flick
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

reading round-up

2011-12-01T17:59:00.000Z

I'm struggling to keep my posts up with her progress!

So, let's see. She learnt the full 42 sounds,

1. s, a, t, i, p, n
2. c/k, e, h, r, m, d
3. g, o, u, l, f, b
4. ai, j, oa, ie, ee, or
5. z, w, ng, v, oo, oo
6. y, x, ch, sh, th, th
7. qu, ou, oi, ue, er, ar

mostly by watching the CBeeBies DVDs. She's still learning to spot group 7 in words though, but we haven't concentrated on that yet. I suppose I better get my act together and print out some words focusing on those sounds.

She reads words such as ship, shop, post, chip, easily.

She wanted to write and really, her motor skills aren't fully developed at only 3^1/2. So I started her on pre-writing skills:
following a maze
tracing lines, squiggles, zigzags, holding pencil correctly

Then also understanding concepts like, before, between, different from, doesn't match, begins with, ends with, and such, for later understanding what is asked concerning letters in words.

She's played online alphabet and phonic games and listened to songs.

Yesterday she started using a wipe-clean book (love these!) to trace actual letters. She loves doing her 'work', just like mama and tata have work (daddy).

I bought the Jolly Phonics workbooks but, disappointedly, they're geared towards writing rather than reading. I was keeping them for later but she wanted to do them. So today she traced S, and did well but is unable to write her own S yet. I'm a little concerned that she'll get discouraged if unable to write, but she doesn't seem at all put off. I think as long as I give her letters to trace rather than try writing on her own.

Reading Lesson: Teach Your Child to Read in 20 Easy Lessons, arrived a couple of days ago, which is very clearly set out and I recommend. However, she's way passed it already. I thought it was going to be more complex than it is. Very much a starting book. I can make use of the final lessons at least.

In other news... for some reason (possibly hearing others around her speak) she has started to ask, 'what is the Serbian word for x' (daddy's mother-tongue and the language spoken where we live currently). Spanish has taken a bit of a backseat.

She's also enjoying art - painting, colouring, glueing - more than ever.She prefers just to paint splashes of colour rather than actual pictures.

joy pockets #33

2011-11-25T08:39:00.000Z

I'm offline this week, on a break,

but wanted to have the linky up for you lovely mamas.

♥

.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

joy pockets #32

2011-11-18T07:29:00.001Z

Still super tired. Miss 3 has a lingering cold.
No lengthy alone time for me this week.
The internet guy is ignoring our calls.
The in-laws forgot to send a package from UK that I asked for.

But there were little joys.

♥

.
lentil and spinach curry
.
hearing her put words together
.
bananas on French toast
.
dinner with friends
.
new water-colour pencils
.
new art ideas
.
adult chats while the kids run crazy
.
booking the flights to England
.
sunny Autumn days
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

reading

2011-11-15T09:26:00.003Z

I was more than happy to leave off reading until she was over 5 years old. But her love of letters has only increased, as well as wanting to know what words start with, and 'reading' her books.

So although she's only 3^1/2, I decided to give it a formal start and take her cues how she wants, or doesn't want, to proceed.

I ordered some phonic resources from Amazon and as there was no rush we waited on them before starting anything. They arrived last Friday and we made a start.

Well, after a 10min run through the very basics - sounding out letters and running them together to read a whole word - she was reading new 3-letter words on her own. Blimey, so she was more then ready.

She has a short attention span with the sounding out, perfectly right for her age. So we might only do 5-10mins. And then she loves to watch the phonic dvds.

Also, rather than sounding out the letters slowly, running them together, she sounds out each letter than forms the word in her head, then says the word! Smart-ass! :) But I'm trying to get her to do the slower work as she'll need to for longer words.

Yesterday, I had phonics coming out of my ears! Dvds, learning books, jigsaws, snap game, matching pairs..... phew

As a note, I'm disappointed in good phonic resources. Am I looking in the wrong places? They're either expensive or confusing or out-dated.

This first set I mention is fine. But while it seems like a starting kit, it goes much too fast through the basics. It's really better after the child has had basic work first and then this set as a reinforcement. She sees there are further items on the dvd and more books and wants to use them, but they jump too far ahead.
The other issue I have, is that on the dvds they present a letter not just as a starting letter but 'in a word'. Quite confusing for a child starting to read to see pencil as a word in the i list because it has i in it.

There is a ton online to print out, but with the cost of ink, it can be more cost-effective to buy a book.

What I expect from basic phonic learning is:

letter sounds not letter names
not capitals
letters sounded out without the incorrect uh ending sound - mmmm, not muh
letters learnt first as the start of words
reading books that follow the stages but have more than 1 sentence a page (hello, kids memorise!)
visual letters not of the pre-cursive font

That precursive i totally confused her and she attempted to call it a j.

I'm now asking her occasionally to read out 3-letter words in the usual books we read together.

joy pockets #31

2011-11-11T07:56:00.002Z

Just not getting 2 consecutive nights of decent sleep.
Need these pockets to look back and remember there were little joys.

♥

.
making not-sweet-enough cookies
so that now I have baked oatmeal for breakfast
.
this dessert
.
quietly colouring-in our respective art in the studio
.
the house filled with cinnamon + vanilla scents
.
the weekly playgroup
.
the chance to indulge in a period drama, all alone
.
feeling grounded
.
new markers & pens
.
ever so slightly improved internet connection
it's something
.
working on some digital art
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

bits of you

2011-11-10T11:23:00.000Z

the alphabet is still a firm interest
~
you like to ask, "what would X say if I..."
such as 'what would the hippo say if I tickled him' and various weird examples
~
as you love us telling you stories, i bought you audio stories
which you really enjoy as you flick through the books
~
you're fascinated with kaki (poop)
~
you're getting happier at playing alone for longer periods
~
you suddenly got the hang of steering your tricycle a few weeks back
~

you prefer not to be watched when doing an activity
~
you're eating more meat, snuck into soups
~
last Wednesday was your first lengthy away-from-mama time
3^1/2hrs
you went with tata to a playgroup for the local expat kids
you had a blast, were happy but clingy all during the night and wanting extra cuddles the next morning.
this week you seem to have taken it more in your stride.
~
you asked about a distinction between genitals
~
probably influenced by watching mama do her art, you have embraced colouring-in
and it's one of the few activities you become absorbed in

...

I'll be here tomorrow with joy pockets.

joy pockets #30

2011-10-28T10:48:00.000+01:00

Exhausted from lack of sleep, but otherwise creatively productive.

♥

.
making & tasting red pepper chutney
.
doodling, a lot
.
doodling together
.
cinnamon
.
a reading marathon that finished a book
.
shards of light through the clouds
.
friends
.
amazon
.
a hope for a better internet connection
fingers crossed
.
looking forward to getting out and about
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

joy pockets #29

2011-10-21T08:08:00.000+01:00

From chaotic frustration to intentional calm.

♥

.
custard creams
(is this just a British cookie?)
.
working out a way to make art
.
the lone piece of ginger at the bottom of the cup
.
understanding that emotions are fleeting
.
the energy of the 'right' place to create
.
the way chilli flakes look sprinkled over coconut cream
.
cuddles
.
a thai curry
.
a diminishing cough
.
skyping with family from our house!
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

joy pockets #28

2011-10-14T08:25:00.001+01:00

I've not found it an easy week. She had a cold which lingered and then just as she was over it she caught another. I caught something but got rid of it quickly. But have barely slept due to alternating night nose-blowing and/or coughing, and gale-force winds. The latter which destroyed her trampoline and some garden furniture and kept cutting off the electricity. On top of it all, feeling creatively frustrated.

Oh dear, I really needed to look back and remind myself of the moments.

♥

.
m&ms
.
seasonal peppers
.
making a great red pepper chutney
.
when she fell asleep with her little hands cradling my face
.
soup season
.
that she won't simply take my word for it
.
relaxed time with friends
.
3G moments
.
that she doesn't have to have what other kids are having
.
watching her learn when she sees it as play
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!

alphabet

2011-10-13T14:58:00.000+01:00

The alphabet, as in the letter names, is not, in my opinion, the most helpful thing to learn pre-reading skills. We speak and read in sounds not letter names.

The letter names we need to learn, the sounds they already have.

So for that reason, besides also that she's only 3^1/2 and has no need to learn anything remotely academic, I have kept away from the alphabet. She had a short burst of sounding out first letter sounds some time ago, where she enjoyed saying, muh for mama, luh for light, and so forth. Off her own volition.

But a child that watches Sesame Street, Dora, Maisy and reads related books, can't be kept from the alphabet. And about 2 months ago she suddenly fell in love with letters. And when I wasn't looking, she learnt the ABC song. And, amusingly, says the American Zee as well as the British Zed in turns. She loves to sing it.

Since this new love affair I have supported her cues to learning and we say letters once in a while. I've bought her a couple of ABC books. I'm trying to steer back to letter sounds.

She calls me to help her with putting the letters in order, although she gets tired/bored by the last 6 or so. I 'help', by prompting, 'which is next?', or indicating when she skipped one.

Today I gave her a new set of animal magnets we bought her and thought to test which letters she knew for certain. Just out of curiosity.

So she picked an animal out of a bag, and I asked her what it was and then what letter did it begin with, and then asked her to find that letter.

a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, k, l, m, o, p, r, s, t, w, x, y, z

Hesitant on j, n, q, u, v
Although I swear she knows n.

I just love watching a child learn and teach themselves, and out of pure self-motivation. I love watching in action the proof that children don't need teachers.

joy pockets #27

2011-10-07T08:35:00.002+01:00

♥

.
Miss 3 enjoying the Budapest zoo
.
luxury tea
.
her love of bugs
.
watching her learn from her own initiative
.
birthday wishes
.
birthday presents
.
Autumn breezes
.
seasonal pears
.
that she asked for a real magic wand, that works
.
♥

share with me your joy pockets this week.

if you've done your own, add the link to your actual POST below

And enjoy visiting those ahead of you!