Holland from Holland

On this day in Alkmaar, many, many years ago...

2012-09-18T07:24:00.000+02:00

"Here the storm of Spanish warriors was thrice repelled and the genius of liberty made its stand." Think that's the right translation. My wife said she thought it was old Dutch when the city was Alcmaer. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Alcmaria Victrix

Anyway, the inscription was at the side of the statue of victory located in, you guessed it, Victoriepark, which we pass every time we leave the old Spanish camp (Oudorp) and cross the Friesebrug into Alkmaar, usually on bike, sometimes on foot or by bus.

A Marks the Park

Of course, on Oct 8th, the long siege of the city finally ended, signalling the beginning of the end of Spanish rule and with little fanfare, the start of the Dutch Republic later on down the road, or canal, for a local twist on the expression. Where the Spanish rear guard has gathered on the left near the tents is where we live. Not quite as hard to get into the city nowadays and a little more tranquil.

Then

Now

As I mentioned in my post last year, no national holiday to celebrate independence, but there are local festivities which unofficially mark the start of beer festival season and the count down to Octoberfest. Also, in keeping with the Spanish-Dutch theme of this post and heavy picture content, see this image of the Friesebrug:

When the cause is a single sailboat whose mast is three times as high as the hull is long, there is no grumbling, no shitting in the milk or on God, for those Catholics who are really furious. No one loudly complains about the audacity of having to wait and the important things this dickhead in the shitty little boat is causing him or her to miss. Someone might light a cigarette. Another might say good day and start a little idle chit-chat. When the bridge goes down, people don't ironically clap and shout, "Finally." Less entertaining in some ways, but little more even keeled, which pretty much sums up the difference between the Dutch and the Spanish almost 500 years after their separation.

Book Review - Herman Koch, The Dinner

2012-08-31T10:02:00.000+02:00

Called "Het Diner" in Dutch, the book was a best seller in Holland and dispels my neighbor's theory that all Dutch authors are gloomy. A dark comedy set at a trendy restaurant, two couples meet and over the course of dinner, a family secret is revealed. I don't want to give away too much, but I found it a gripping and entertaining read, both in terms of the plot and character arc, as well as the peek inside contemporary Dutch society. For example is it true waiters here fill wine glasses without asking?

The Robots Are Coming For Your Jobs

2012-08-20T11:53:00.000+02:00

Seriously. There was a recent article in the NY Times about a Philips plant in the Netherlands which uses 128 robots, with many experts saying it's gaining ground on Apple's famed model of using cheap Chinese labor. Meanwhile, projections place 2032 as the point there will be more robots than people and most experts are getting better at when human level AI will be achieved.

I know this post might come across as a bit on the paranoid side but it's actually a big deal that'll touch large swaths of the economy. Think globalization, but with most tasks being automatized rather than outsourced. If you have a strong constitution, the blog Early Warning deals with these and other subjects. I'm going for a stiff drink now.

Going Back to the Middle Ages

2012-06-14T15:22:00.000+02:00

This weekend (June 16th & 17th) Alkmaar is celebrating Kaeskoppenstad, which I think translates as Cheese Head City. According to the local website (translated from Dutch) the city streets will revert to what it was like in the Middle Ages with sand and straw, sheep, chickens, shit, fish, fishwives, nobles, fishermen, beggars, plague, lots of music, whores, blacksmiths, shoe makers, cheese bearers, children, rope-makers, tins makers, haringkakers, potato peelings, coal, fire jugglers, town criers, fishermen, soldiers, pitch, the scaffold, Spanish soldiers, the famous Beggars in their boats in the Alkmaar canal and of course lots KAES.

Should be a good time for anyone interested.

Worst. Candy. EVER

2012-06-12T08:41:00.000+02:00

...is called Salmiak knotsen. I bought it thinking it would be like salt-water taffy but it's hard and seems to be mostly salt with a hint of vanilla. After doing some research to see why the saline taste continued to linger an hour later, I discovered the main ingredient was ammonium chloride and the candy was classified as licorice.

I have to admit until I moved here I thought there were only two types of licorice, black (which makes me cringe) and strawberry (which I can pig out on). There are actually much more. There's brown and white, salty and sweet, all classified as "drops" and one of the most sought after products by Dutch people living outside the Netherlands.

From Barcelona 2nd Edition -- Coming Soon

2012-06-08T10:46:00.002+02:00

Sorry for the non-existent posting. I've been busy working with a new publisher on the second edition of my short story collection, From Barcelona: Stories Behind the City. The good news is that it's due to be released this July and I now have a cover to share.

It's what I called "city-lit" with twelve stories set in the popular Mediterranean metropolis. There's a little bit of everything. The origin story behind the famed Caganer. Horror in the form of a haunted flat within shouting distance of a leafy square. Historical fiction starring Barcelona's most famous architect, Antoni Gaudí. Crime, romance, comedy etc. Initial reviews say it captures the essence of Barcelona from the perspectives of the locals and foreign residents living there alike, which is what I was aiming for.

The first volume was quite well received when it was released a few years ago, but I'm much more pleased with the second edition. Mostly because, as with all artistic endeavors, you become better with practice, which includes learning from your mistakes and the feedback of readers. Also, I was able to approach the stories with more objectivity now that I don't live there, allowing me to give a more well-rounded picture of the city, I think.

I'm hoping to have a .PDF version available before the actual roll out. If anyone would like a free copy to read, shoot me an e-mail and I'll send it over. I've put some excerpts on the side to give you an idea.

The World's Rudest Nation is...

2012-04-21T11:08:00.000+02:00

Surprise, surprise... France, according to travel site Skyscanner who recently ran a poll. Here is the top ten.

1. French 19.2%
2. Russian 16.6%
3. British 10.4%
4. German 9.9%
5. Chinese 4.3%
6. American 3.3%
7. Spanish 3.1%
8. Italian 2.3%
9. Polish 2.2%
10. Turkish 2.1%

I have to say, most Frenchmen and women I've met outside of France don't match this description. They've actually been some of the least pretentious people. The French in Paris weren't the most polite, but I find most big city dwellers are assholes, no matter the country. It's stressful living with noise and congestion 24/7.

Interesting that the Dutch aren't in the top ten, given "rudeness" is supposed to be a characteristic and that the British and Americans are 3rd and 6th respectively when we value manners. Apparently the rest of the world sees us differently. Tatiana Danilova, Russian Market Manager for Skyscanner commented: “Russians can be more direct when talking, which may be misconstrued as being rude. However, this is more a difference in culture than genuine rudeness. The Russian language is not as polite as English, so when Russians translate directly from Russian to English, it can sound rude to an English speaker even if they don’t mean it to."

You could replace Russian with Dutch or most other languages and that quote would be true. Although, at least here kids use the phrase, "Mag ik...?" for May I when asking for something. Spanish tends to be imperative base with no word like "maar" at the end to soften the barked order.

As for the most polite nations, they are: Brazilians, those from the Caribbean islands and Filipinos. I'd have to add Thais, too, as long as you don't give them a noogie.

Book Review - A Couple of Dutch Authors, one old, one new

2012-04-17T20:21:00.002+02:00

Nescio means "I don't know" in Latin and was the pen name for Dutch author J.H.F. Grönloh (1882-1961), whose writings were recently translated into English for the first time under the title Amsterdam Stories.

A contemporary of Jame Joyce, Grönloh was not a writer by profession, rather he earned a comfortable living as the hard driving director of Holland-Bombay Trading Company. In fact, it wasn't until after a nervous breakdown in 1929, that he took public ownership of his few published works.

The conflict between our youthful artistic desires and the need for respectability as we become adults is a recurring theme throughout his stories. The first entitled, "The Freeloader," stars Japi whose personal motto is I am nothing and I do nothing. He slacks and mooches off his friends who find him both irritating and inspiring. He disappears to Friesland and comes back with not a story but a mystery. He is, alas, not immune to life's demands. I don't want to give too much away and spoil the ending.

His group of friends are collectively referred to as "The Little Titans" in the second story and can be found throughout the collection. They are a group of bohemians, who as youths do, wail against the bourgeoisie and bemoan the lack of a revolution, while searching for answers to existential questions, as they walk the Dutch countryside and streets of Amsterdam.

One of the group has enough talent to earn a living as an artist, while the narrator is a struggling writer and the others end up surrendering to society and getting jobs. The artist, Bavink, stars in the shortest story called "Out Along the IJ." He and a friend rent an old cabin along a river, losing themselves in art and nature, oblivious to the nude ex-girlfriend washing dishes to the amazement of the local children, until their money and credit run out. The final story, "Isola Dei" looks at loss during the Nazi occupation, finding salvation in memories and the sunrise while riding a bike to Eindhoven.

Lost Paradise: A Novel is a book by contemporary Dutch author Cees Nooteboom. The premise is simple enough. The narrator picks two random strangers (One is a sensual woman on a plane to Berlin. The other, a weary man on a train platform) and interweaves their story. In many writers' hands this could be a sprawling epic, but this Dutch great manages to write a compact, lyrical book about angels, totems and life, that takes us from Brazil to Australia to Germany and of course, Holland. Cees Nooteboom is a master at conveying so much with a simple sentence and I would be remiss if I didn't comment on the seamless translation done by Susan Massotty. I'm really surprised Cees Nooteboom hasn't garnered more international press, because this book, at least, ranks up there with some of today's bests, defying comparison. I look forward to reading more of his work.

The Benefits of Bilingualism

2012-04-11T12:27:00.000+02:00

There was a recent article in the NY Times about bilingualism and studies showing people who speak multiple languages tend to be smarter and better able to withstand the onset of dementia during old age. Even what was once considered a negative, linguistic interference, is now a positive because it forces the brain to work harder to solve the problem, giving it strength. As for those of us who will never be bilingual, "there is reason to believe that [these benefits] may also apply to those who learn a second language later in life."

I know in California, there has been a push to offer dual immersion programs in a variety of languages after a period of English only being the law of the state. Yet, in the Netherlands, apparently, the recommendation is to speak only one language at home, although when I visited the government Dutch well baby clinic, the doctor suggested I speak to our daughter in English while my wife use Spanish which was what we had been doing because she was worried the alien would end up talking like this:

Neither of us being Dutch speakers hasn't impacted our progeny from learning the local language. She's attended daycare three times a week since she was one and the teachers say that she has no problem in communicating with them or the other toddlers. In fact right now, she serves as our de facto translator when people talk to us on the street. The only negative, if you can call it that, is that the cheeky monkey wields her languages as a weapon. When she's angry with my wife and I, she uses Dutch to tell us off while at school she'll use Spanish because she knows her teachers speak English.

The one issue I'd take with the radio Netherlands article cited above is this.

Misconception 1. It is better to teach a child a second language at as young an age as possible.

It is true that it is good to start early, says Sharon Unsworth. “But there is no critical age, like four years old for instance, which is thought to be too late to learn a second language.”

She stresses that learning a second language depends greatly on the number of hours a child is exposed to the second language. The more a child hears, reads or uses a certain language, the better they pick it up - at whatever age.

Research has shown a child's ability to form or distinguish between certain sounds ie. phonemic awareness usually ends, neurologically speaking, before age two. So the sooner you get your tyke exposed to the language the better.

Spring was here, then it was gone

2012-04-02T07:27:00.000+02:00

Up until the middle of last week the weather was really delightful -- sunny and warm with the flowers starting to bloom. But it looks like winter is making a come back and temperatures are supposed to drop to freezing. Hopefully the frost won't play havoc with my garden. The good news is the Alkmaar Cheese Market starts this Friday for anyone interested. Remember it's only in the morning and you can read more about it here. Finally, we're off to London for Easter. Here's some comedy for the holy week.

Wild Wild West Not For Me, Pardner

2012-03-21T12:33:00.001+01:00

I try and avoid writing posts about the U.S., but sometimes something happens which reminds me why I don't live there anymore, such as the recent death of Trayvon Martin. Who? He was an unarmed black teenager who was shot in a gated community in Florida by a member of the neighborhood watch who will probably not face any charges because he was legally in the right.

Basically, in Florida and other states, the laws governing self-defense have been rewritten. Whereas in the past, the only time you could be the aggressor and escape culpability for killing someone was in the case of home invasions, you can now "stand your ground" and shoot whomever you want based on a perceived threat. Add in laws that allow for carrying concealed weapons, and you get incidents like Trayvon Martin or the off-duty police office who shot a homeless man because his actions were supposedly overly aggressive toward said officer and his family.

I swear the U.S. is becoming a parody of a dystopian country written by a Hollywood committee that tries to combine every genre for cross-market appeal. Let's start with time travel and go back to a gilded elite and ruling class which is almost Dickensonian in their views on the poor, but add technology that is very much futuristic Star Wars mixed with Orwell with drones and all-knowing surveillance state. Throw in a little western where everyone packs heat and survival is based on who has the quickest trigger and key-stone cops. The script would almost be a surrealist comedy if it weren't so tragic.

The Land of Really, Really Tall Elves

2012-03-20T06:48:00.000+01:00

One of my favorite Grimm Fairytales is the story of the poor shoemaker whose financial woes are turned around thanks to elves who sneak into his shop at night and make wonderful leather shoes without leaving a trace of their presence.

I bring this story up because doing things without drawing attention to their actions seems to be the Dutch way. Once a every quarter, you might see a deposit in you bank account from the Sociale Verzekeringsbank, or Social Insurance Bank, with a one word explanation: kinderbijslag. What is this? As the SVB website says, “Babies are expensive. Nappies, clothes, the pram . . . all these things cost money. The Dutch government provides for child benefit to help you with the costs of bringing up your child.”

But it's more than just receiving benefits. The other morning while taking the alien to daycare, I saw one of the houses along the way had a bench for sale and decided to ask how much it was. The husband wasn't home and the sleepy wife told me the price as she tightened her bathrobe.

"Great!" I said, "I'll come back and get it when I can get someone to lend me a hand."

"Ok," the woman replied. "You can pay me the money then."

That afternoon I opened our door and Voilá, the bench was there, under the kitchen window. No note, no explanation as to how the person knew which house was ours. In Spain, this never happens, probably because people live in apartment buildings and put old furniture outside to be collected by whomever. Something like this might happen in the states, but you'll definitely find a note from the person bringing attention to their good deed.

Now, if this had been a one-off incident, I could say that it was just the kindness of one particular gentleman, but there have been other times. A colleague of my wife mentioned a neighbor cleaning her roof after he cleaned his out of the kindness of his heart. A remark to my better half, such as, "We need string to tie back the stock rose that blocks the path," will come to fruition without either of us doing it as if an elf had overheard our conversation and took action.

Your Language and Your Financial Health

2012-03-13T17:23:00.000+01:00

There was an interesting article last week about recent research into the influence of language on savings. Apparently, people whose mother tongue makes a strong distinction between the present and future using different tenses (like English, Spanish, and French) tend to save less than those who speak a language where there is weak distinction, such as German, Mandarin and Finnish.

Here's the graph.

And a rather academic explanation.

It is as if grammatical marking of the difference between the present and the future insulates you from seeing that the two are coterminous so you should plan ahead. Using present-tense forms for future time reference, on the other hand, encourages you to see that the future is just more of the present, and thus encourages you to put money in a 401(k).

From what I can decipher, people who speak languages that make sharp distinctions between the present and the future tend to forget the latter and live it up in the moment. Meanwhile, those who think of the present and future within the same scope, try to stretch their money to make it through a never ending day.

Personally, I don't know how much credence I put in Whorfian linguistic relativity which believes language structures influences the way we conceptualize the world. My grandparents and parents are both English speakers. One saved a lot and was more frugal after surviving the great depression, while the other grew up in the era of easy credit and mass consumerism. Culture, and those who shape it, have a much greater impact on our lifestyles than how we speak, me thinks.

Feel like taking a trip into space?

2012-03-08T18:39:00.001+01:00

This came in my inbox

KLM presents a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you to travel into space aboard the SXC Lynx spacecraft. Win this amazing journey and your adventure will begin with astronaut training in the Netherlands, where you will undergo a simulated suborbital spaceflight in the Desdemona simulator.
The next phase of the journey takes you to Curaçao where your exhilarating spaceflight will commence. After a mission briefing and a medical check, you will be ready for take-off from Hato Airport. Aboard the SXC Lynx spacecraft, you will rapidly accelerate into orbit, breaking the sound barrier and reaching a maximum altitude of 100km where you will experience weightlessness and marvel at breathtaking views of our planet. As you re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere, prepare for a maximum 4.5 g-force experience before safely gliding back to Earth and returning to Curaçao.
To enjoy this life-changing experience, simply visit www.klm.com and play the Space Flight Quiz. Winning is easy. Just answer five questions, enter the price draw and you could be on your way to the stars.

I wonder if you get the miles, too. I get winded walking up and down the stairs so I doubt I'd make it through astronaut training. But feel free to enter. Think you need a flying blue account.

A Joke About the Dutch

2012-02-14T06:55:00.001+01:00

Why are the Dutch so tall?
So when the dykes break they won't drown.
What happens to the short people?
They go to Belgium.

I heard this from an Irish friend, not sure the original source.

Book Review - Busy Monsters: A Novel

2012-02-06T18:23:00.001+01:00

Busy Monsters: A Novel by William Giraldi is a dizzying book that came out last year to rave reviews from both critiques and other established authors alike. It opens with the protagonist heading to kill the ex-boyfriend of his true love, who happens to be obsessed with the giant squid, and takes you on a journey involving Sasquatch, aliens and ghosts. The novel is not a horror story, though, more a romantic comedy.

What I found most interesting reading Busy Monsters is how much of the standard rules for writing contemporary fiction were discarded. The use of jargon and esoteric vocabulary, for example, is generally considered a no-no. But if you read Busy Monsters, I recommend doing it on Kindle or other e-book platform so you have easy access to a dictionary because each page is packed with literary and mythical references. Likewise, avoiding self-conscious writing, or as Elmore Leonard put it, "If it sounds written, I re-write it," is the golden rule of modern fiction, yet when I read Busy Monsters, I can't help but feel the fun Mr. Giradli had crafting the story and pushing the boundaries of literary convention.

So is it worth a read? As I mentioned it is a love story and all romances can basically be broken down to the following plot line. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets back girl. (except Shakespeare when boy gets girl and they commit suicide). But most stories can be reduced to such a basic, common plot structure so the key is how original the author tells the formulaic tale. And if Busy Monsters is anything, it is unique compared to what's out there. Although, I do wonder if Mr. Giraldi read Stone Junction by Jim Dodge, which is a coming of age story that I kept thinking about when I read this book. Read the two and you will see what I mean.

Some Websites To Help With Dutch

2012-01-19T13:47:00.002+01:00

Trying to learn Dutch? Tiffany over at Clogs & Tulips posted about a useful website, 2BDutch.nl, which allows you to watch video clips with both English and Dutch subtitles. Registration is free, but you have to sign up before gaining access.

Another useful website is Hello-Hello.com Again, you have to register, but it's worth it as it touches on all the skill sets. Best of all, for those of you with tablets, there is an app to download for Android and Apple, allowing you to study while on the train! Right now, the service only goes up to level three, so it's better for newbies, rather than those who already have a solid foundation.

Succes!

A Joke About The Germans

2012-01-09T11:23:00.000+01:00

I read on the blog Stuff Dutch People Like that Number 23 is jokes about the Germans. Here's one I heard over the weekend on television.

A couple adopt a fair haired boy from Germany, happy with the latest addition. He seems the perfect baby. He never cries or complains. But as the months become years, the couple worries because the boy doesn't speak. They take him to doctors who run a battery of tests, the results revealing nothing but good health.

Then when the boy is around four, following a family dinnner, he looks at his adoptive parents and says, "This strudel is a bit tepid."

His parents are overjoyed at the sound of his words. They don't care their son speaks with a German accent. "Wolfgang," they yelp, "Why have you taken so long to speak?"

"Because everything so far has been quite satisfactory..."

Sunday Cat Blogging - 8 Jan 2012

2012-01-08T14:23:00.001+01:00

Happy Belated New Year!

Rembrandt with his new toy that allows him to hone his hunting skills, saving our ankles and toes. He can really sky!

It's amazing how much he acts like a dog. When it's time to play, he brings whichever toy he fancies in his mouth and paws at our legs to get our attention. If we don't answer, he bears his claws to give us a quick scratch, forcing us to throw a ball with a bell or pick up this stick with an elastic string. The toy also works great as an toddler stimulant when they like to make themselves dizzy. In fact it's by far our alien's favorite gift this holiday season.

Is Zwart Piet (Black Peter) Racist?

2011-12-21T08:06:00.001+01:00

I'm starting to think there's a pattern to blogging about the Netherlands. The first year you spend most of December talking about Sinterklaas and Black Peter before linking back to these posts in subsequent years because there's nothing more to say. While this is technically my second winter, the alien was too small last year to really pay attention to the festivities, so I seem to be spending most of this month talking about Christmas traditions as if it were my first year living here.

Last week the website Slate ran an article about the Zwart Piet tradition, calling it racist, and a thousand comments about the subject soon followed. I have to admit seeing blue eyed people painting their faces black, lips red, and adorning afros was shocking to my American sensibilities because of what the images mean back in the States.

But then again, so was seeing this for the first time...

... and learning my future father-in-law was among the marchers.

The large wooden cross that followed this procession wasn't burning, but instead carried a carved statue of an impaled Jesus, being that this is an image of Semana Santa, or Easter Week in Sevilla, Spain, not a Klu Klux Klan rally in Alabama. Although, I imagine many would mistake it for the latter which would make the Spanish racist because the white hood and robe always means segregation and lynching, not the Passion of Christ.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we see through filters which frame our perspectives, so while the character of Zwart Piet might seem offensive to me because of the history of minstrel shows in the States, to our alien he's just Sinterklass's entertaining helper who comes from Spain like one of her grandmothers. She's never seen a man of African descent and said, "He looks like Zwart Piet." Rather she mentions our black friend in London who came to visit and brought her a dress. Because she understands Zwart Piet is a character, not a representation of an entire ethnicity.

Now, if the Dutch perpetuated this cartoonish image of black people in their every day life, then I'd say they and Zwart Piet are racist. But they don't. There's a surprising amount of diversity in advertising, at the work place, at the local bar. People of color play people of color in the movies and T.V. shows here, unlike in Hollywood where white men still paint their faces black for a laugh (Robert Downey Jr. in Tropical Storm being the most recent) -- or worse, respected black men play subservient roles to white masters in mainstream films, like Will Smith in The Legend of Bagger Vance. You can read about more movies you probably didn't realize were racist here.

Am I saying that there is no racism in the Netherlands? No. But no more than in the States, Spain, England and probably where you live. Just like there are crazy right-wing politicians getting elected to office in every country. As a species, crisis tends to bring out the worse in humanity, it seems, no matter the nationality. In other words, Geert Welders is no more representative of the Dutch people than Rick Perry who hunted at a place called "Niggerland," or Hermain Cain who recommended electrocuting illegal immirgants, are of Americans.

Traditions evolve and Stinkerklass and Zwart Piet have too. The man in the beard no longer beats bad boys and girls with a switch and his helpers, the Black Peters, are not his servants. I see the festivities more analogous to a circus with Sinterklaas the papel inspired ring master and the Peters are his renassaince inspired clowns, without whom there is no show. Who knows? Maybe, in the future Sinterklaas will be fat and black with his Peters white, but would that be insulting albinos?

I remember as a child Columbus Day was celebrated in the States with parades and a day off school honoring the mythical man. Later on a more realistic picture was painted of him, including his enslavement of the indigenous population in the spice trade. Of course, we Americans don't extend such honesty or racial sensitivity to a more cherished holiday, Thanksgiving, or to our favorite pro-sport, the NFL.

Ask a Native American what they think of the term Redskin for not just a team, but one in the nation's capital, and most will say it's on par with the n-word. Yet, every Sunday for 18-weeks a year, millions of people watch the team, celebrate them and buy their gear. Some dress up like this...

Now, are they racist?

Amsterdam Dungeon

2011-12-12T19:52:00.000+01:00

One of the benefits of blogging is that I'm sometimes given free tickets to Amsterdam attractions in return for writing a review. Last weekend for example, my wife and I were able to enjoy a date at the Amsterdam Dungeon where she clung to my arm, fearing for her life, making me feel quite manly as I protected her from the evil spirits lurking around every corner.

Less a museum than an interactive experience, the hour and a half tour provides plenty of chills and scares. Guides, using a mix of Dutch and English in a way that sometimes sounds demonic, lead you through some dark chapters in the city's history from the Spanish Inquisition to life aboard a Dutch East India ship heading to Batavia (Jakarta, Indonesia) to the ghosts of Dam Square. The highlight for me was meeting the famous Dutch Painter Rembrandt van Rijn and learning of his insidious secret. The way in which the story was portrayed, using actors, animation and an eery setting, made me feel as if I had gone back in time as a fly on the wall.

So if you're looking for things to do in Amsterdam and like to be scared, definitely take time to tour the Dungeon. It's a great and entertaining way to learn about the sinister side of the city. Most hotels have passes with discounts at the concierge desk and if you're staying in the center, chances are that it's within walking distance.

Happy St. Nicholas Day & Other Christmas Traditions

2011-12-05T09:15:00.001+01:00

Today is of course Saint Nicholas Day which is the main gift giving day in the Netherlands, Germany, and Austria, I believe. Surprisingly, it's not a holiday in any of the countries. Kids are at school and parents are at work with the celebration taking place later tonight. In the Czech Republic, however, today is celebrated publicly, which means you're likely to see Saint Nicholas, an Angel and the Devil walking around the streets of Prague, battling over children's souls.

Grýlan

In Iceland, Christmas season doesn't start until December 12th and runs through Christmas Eve. Each day one of the thirteen Yuletide Lads, who are a cross between trolls and gnomes, visits children, leaving something in their shoe. Each Yuletide lad has his own name and personality with the final visitor being the their mother, Grýlan, an ogre with a giant cat who used to take the bad children and make them into a stew until a public decree in 1746 prohibited her and her sons from terrifying the local population.

In Poland, Christmas Eve is the main gift giving day and is celebrated with at least twelves dishes with an extra plate for unexpected guests. It is said on this magical night, animals can speak like humans. Hopefully, no one runs into a goose which is their main Christmas dish. Meanwhile, in Germany children see the Chritsmas tree for the first time on December 24th and spend the night decorating it.

Italy starts their Christmas season today, but like Spain, their main gift giving moment is the night of January 5th. Although, presents aren't delivered by the Three Kings, but a good witch named La Befana who as legend has it, got lost on her way to the stable where Jesus was born, so she spends the night flying on a broom stick, doling out gifts, hoping one of the children is the messiah.

In addition to exchanging presents on different days, countries also have different traditions. For example, in Spain, the centerpiece of the house is the Nativity scene, not the Christmas tree. In the Catalunya region, if you find the figurine of caganer (the crapper) among the donkeys, wise men, Joseph and Mary, you're supposed to have good luck the following year, while presents are delivered by a crapping log called the cagatió. You can read more about it here.

Any other traditions you can think of?

Have a safe and enjoyable holiday season however you celebrate it!

Sunday Cat Blogging - 4 December 2011

2011-12-04T12:26:00.001+01:00

Poor Max. He seems to really miss coming into the house. He often peeks through the kitchen window to see what we're doing and lets out some plaintive meows to make sure we see him. He also likes to come to the patio door and evil eye Rembrandt until he wakes up from his nap. Once eye contact is made, Max hisses, fogging up the window. But the sound isn't like a snake, more like a deep growl that you'd find from a cat in a pet cemetery. Rembrandt lets out a whine in response, as if asking what he's done to deserve such hatred. Max then hisses one more time, swipes at the glass and leaves in disgust. Who says animals dodn't have feelings?

Songs About Los Angeles

2011-11-30T11:09:00.001+01:00

A friend of mine sent me a mix CD with a song called Sleepless in Silverlake by Les Savy Fav and what memories it brought back. Tucked between Glendale where I'm from and Downtown L.A., Silverlake was the place a lot of bands came of age such as Weezer and the Eels. It's also where I first saw Queens of the Stone Age play at the now defunct Sunset Junction. More than that, it's where the Red Lion is, one of my favorite bars in L.A. Decorated like a Bravarian Tavern, it has a beer garden upstairs where you can still smoke, plenty of interesting characters for patrons, and German and Austrian expats for waitresses.

Here's the video. I love YouTube it's like MTV was before the Real World.

Listening to the song made me a bit homesick with the holidays around the corner, so I decided to listen to a couple of tunes that remind me why I don't live in L.A. anymore.

Emperor X - Sig Alert. A song about closing down of the 405 which is the main Freeway, or more like an eight lane parking lot for twelve hours. Having to drive and sit in traffic is one thing I don't miss. I love not having a car. The Dutch think I'm nuts. Apparently, I should be driving and camping when going on vacation, not taking the train and staying in a short term apartment. I tell them to live in L.A. for a few years and then we'll speak.

Tool - Aenema

This song perfectly captures how I felt my last year there. L.A. is great if you have money, not so much when you're struggling. It's one of the biggest differences between the U.S. and Europe. Here's it's a little easier to get by and have a comfortable life.

There are of course many more songs about Los Angeles, both good and bad. Probably more than New York, yet no one really thinks of it as a music city. It's usually the place bands go to after they've sold out and gone Hollywood. Funny how perception and reality are often two different things.

Tri-Christmas Season - A New Black Peter Legend is Born

2011-11-28T11:54:00.001+01:00

I remember as a kid telling my dad that I wanted to convert to Judaism because I heard Hanukkah lasted eight days which meant eight days of presents, or so I thought. He told me I'd have to stop eating grilled ham and cheese sandwiches and spend my Saturdays attending a service, studying the Torah, instead of playing Atari and Star Wars with my friends. The idea proceeded no further and I remained without a religion. Now, I realize what I should have done. I should've encouraged my father and my mom to divorce and each marry someone from a non-English speaking country.

Our alien, for example, has three gift giving days spread out over the course of the month. First, there's Sinterklaas (Netherlands) (Dec 5th), then there's Christmas (English), and finally there's Three King's Day on Jan 5th (Spanish.) Distributing the presents isn't much of an issue. One main one for each of the days, plus some small ones, so they will all receive equal importance. The problem will be merging the three different customs because she's still too young to know the truth.

We've got Sinterklaas who comes from Spain, hangs out with a group of Black Peters and travels on boat. Santa Claus, meanwhile, lives in the North Pole, uses elves and travels on a sled pulled by a reindeer with a glowing nose. Last but not least, there are The Three Kings (two white, one black) who come from the Holy Land, also by boat, and then parade throughout the town like a child's version of Mardi Gras, tossing candy instead of beads.

They way I see it -- The relationship between Saint Nicholas and Black Peter is key. Something happens after they leave the Netherlands. Most likely, Black Peter is tired of being the lackey, so he takes off, sending Saint Nick into a depression because he's not used to people leaving him. He seeks refuge far away from Spain and its memories, going to the North Pole where a group of elves find him a mess, moaning how he can't go on. Saint Nick feels better after talking about his problems, although he's too involved in himself to appreciate the elves speak elvish, so they don't understand a word of his big plan, but are happy he seems to like their wine and food.

He changes his name to Santa Claus, burying all ties to the past under his rosy cheeks and expanded waist line. He's going to every place that doesn't celebrate Saint Nicholas Day and give gifts to the good children, riding magical flying reindeers. He can't hang out; he must do it in secret, less his act lose the sense of surprise and magic. He'll sneak into houses, put presents under trees and be off to jingling bells. Christmas will be the most celebrated day of the year and he will be such a star that no one will care about Black Peter anymore.

December 26th, Black Peter sits in a cafe near Bethlehem and learns of Father Christmas. He thinks what a spiteful man Saint Nick has turned into, skipping their shared home of Spain, leaving its children without presents. He calls on his two friends, Melchior and Gaspar who convince Black Peter to shed the white man's shackles and go by Balthazar. He agrees and the three of them set sail, carrying gifts, camels and music. He sends out word of his arrival on January 5th and meets throngs of adoring people of all ages who celebrate him as an equal among The Three Kings.

Then like most dysfunctional couples, Saint Nicholas and Black Peter get back together, and life seems normal until Saint Martin arrives, reminding Saint Nick of his big day. The list of kids and their demands is too much for Black Peter, and so begins Tri-Christmas Season again.

In honor of fictional holidays Happy Festivus!