I had a lovely Mother’s Day and spent the day unplugged from the online and social media world. I didn’t even pick up my camera. I love my family and I’m so blessed to have my mom as my best friend. My husband is awesome and amazing… and my kids complete me.

Day 128 ~ Cutie Patootie

Dominic was playing in the floor and I got a series of great images. I love this look he gives me and how his arms make sort of a heart shape.

Day 128 ~ Happily Watchful

My boys watching for any activity out back. I love how they are both perked up here.

Day 128 ~ Seriously Upside Down

He is so serious and he is upside down. Something about this really draws me in… I might print this big.

Day 128 ~ Unfolding

Taking some images for this month’s Creativity Challenge on Clickin Moms, I got this beautiful shot of the rose in my front yard.

Day 130a ~ See Me

First in a series of six (one more will be shared on the Daily Project shortly). Dominic hollered at me when we were outside… “Mom, Mom… come quick! There’s a lizard on Rocky’s front porch!” I grabbed my camera and macro and was off! This little guy was about 6 inches from tip to tail and was very curious about me.

Day 130b ~ Pose

Day 130c ~ Put Your Whole Self In

Day 130d ~ Other Side

Day 130e ~ Climb

Day 130f ~ Still

Thank you for looking and thank you for the prayers for my friends. <3

With all the drama last week, we really just hunkered down and went all-in with family this last week. We spent a lot of time driving around looking at potential new neighborhoods and ate a lot of frozen yogurt. We cuddled a lot. It was nice.

Day 120 ~ Future Hipster

Dominic is too cute listening to Minecraft videos while choosing his favorite froyo toppings.

Day 120 ~ NomNomNom

Yummy.

Day 124 ~ College Grad

Congratulations to Chris!!! He graduated from Concordia University on Saturday with his Bachelor’s of Arts Degree in Behavioral Sciences. We are all so proud of you!!!

Day 126 ~ Chillin

Not sure if this is a grasshopper? He was itty bitty and seriously posed for me.

Thanks for looking and for all of your support last week. I wish you all peace and love.

Vivid Shades

Cat Pad

Thanks for looking! Now go see how Jenny interpreted Shooting Through Glass!

I also wanted to let other parents who have emotionally- and behaviorally-challenged children know they are not alone. My friend, Angela, recently wrote this post titled, “Sometimes life isn’t always rainbows and sunshine” about sharing the bad with the good and it struck a chord with me.

I really never thought a child with special needs could get suspended. Yes, perhaps ISS (in-school suspension) with other consequences, but how much do they understand about being suspended? Did Anna really understand why she couldn’t go to school on Thursday? How will this look on paper to her 6th grade teacher who will be taking over her education this fall? I understand there is an escalation of consequences, but for Anna… and kids like Anna… consistency is what really teaches them. So… the gist is that she pushed her teacher and pulled her teacher’s hair. That is why she got suspended. Last month, she actually hurt another child (not seriously) and shoved her teacher… and for that she got ISS for 2 hours with loss of recess as a consequence. Hmm.

I argued against the suspension stating that Anna would LOVE to be home with me, that would be a reward rather than a punishment. She will learn that behaving badly gets her more time with mommy. No bueno. But the principal would not be swayed mainly because they were doing state testing on Thursday and they simply had no resources at school to care for her. Oh… and they took away her 5th grade trip to Sea World too. Anna has been talking about that for a year and a half. She can only go to Sea World if we take her, keep her separated from the other kids, and can always guarantee we will be with her 1:1 the entire time. No bus trip. That does not promote integration, independence, or fun!

I’m just tired. And worried. And super duper feeling badly for my sweet Booski. For several months, Anna has been behaving strangely. She’ll be fine, happy, getting along when all of a sudden she snaps into a rage spewing anger and hurtful words. She hits, she shoves, she gives the middle finger. It’s like a demon child possesses her. If we engage with her at any sort of level that smacks of control or anger, it escalates her. Then after 30 minutes or so, she’ll weep. She’ll cry her heart out, saying she’s sorry. She doesn’t know why she says those things, she is horrified by what she has said and done. Then she sleeps.

Over and over again, this cycle.

I thought initially it might be seizure activity. I’ve been pushing her neuro to get an extended EEG but he continues to blow me off. There is a fascinating TEDTalks segment with a speaker named Aditi Shankardass whose clinical work with children with developmental delays suggest a large percentage of them are experiencing seizure activity. Anna’s psychiatrist agrees that it could be partial seizures at the onset that triggers these meltdowns but feels they are more behavioral. He was no help either, suggesting to Anna that she have 50 good days at school in a row to earn a new baby doll. Ridiculous. I don’t believe these episodes are entirely within her control. I’ve been charting her behavior. So far, they are very in tune with her menstrual cycle… about three days before up to a week during and after, she is a mess emotionally and behaviorally, having received all of the office referrals, ISSes, and the suspension during this time. We see the psych this week, the endo again in mid-May, and the neuro again in late-May. I will insist on an extended EEG starting a few days before her next cycle. There are seizures in the temporal lobe, partial seizures, triggered by menses called catamenial seizures. My gut says these are the culprit. They can cause all kinds of weird behavior.

I’ve also requested that the school re-institute her BIP (behavior intervention plan) so that they handle these episodes better. I need to write up how we handle them at home so they can train the staff on what to do. If these episodes are truly beyond her control, can you imagine how she feels?

The whole thing overwhelms me and I can’t even imagine what it’s like for Anna. The appointments, the training, the fighting, the advocacy, the upcoming transition to middle school, and just managing Anna minute to minute. It takes 100% full attention to keep her safe. She was out with my mom at a corner store last month when Anna ran away from her, then screamed at my mom “Don’t hit me!” Mom was terrified the police were going to be called and Anna would be taken away, so she had to call Curtis to come help. Thankfully they were just a few blocks away. My FIL came to visit and I would not let him take her out without me or Curtis there.

So now I have two children who have been suspended for aggressive behavior. It scares the shit out of me.

Now that I’ve completely depressed all of you too (sorry!!!), I will share some happy photos of my sweet Anna. I really only shot two days this past week, I was just too depressed. Anna got to miss school on Friday to attend the Individual Skills Soccer Competition for the Special Olympics. She earned a silver medal. I was a very happy and proud mommy… and it was a good day.

Day 116 ~ Special Olympics

Thanks for looking. I hope my sweet Booski has a much better week this week. <3

Day 106 ~ Serpent

Imagine my surprise when I looked out the window to see a 3-foot long snake on my sidewalk! By the time I’d gotten outside with my camera and macro lens, he’d made his way into my garden.

Day 106 ~ Bemused

Playing outside after school, Dominic was telling me a funny story… I think about Minecraft (specifically SkyDoesMinecraft whom Dominic follows on YouTube).

Day 107 ~ Sidelines

With Curtis out of town, Dominic had to come to Special Olympics with us. He didn’t want to come help and run around, so I let him sit on the sidelines with my phone.

Day 107 ~ Soccer

Eventually, I talked Dominic into joining us for practice. Dominic was an official volunteer and got to take part in the stations after the other kids had their turns. He was a happy boy.

Day 108 ~ Car Lane

Some days I walk to get Dominic after school, some days Curtis gets him. Every once in a while, I’ll have to pick him by car. Waiting in the car lane sucks. People are so rude, cutting in line and being unsafe. With nearly 1000 elementary kids here, it’s a miracle anyone can get their child in a timely manner. I liked the juxtaposition of Dominic’s pickup tag hanging from my rearview with the road sign and school bus.

Day 108 ~ Award

Jenny is rocking her junior year at Texas State. She was honored by the College of Fine Arts with an award… Outstanding Member of Lambda Alpha Epsilon, the criminal justice fraternity to which she belongs. It was an incredible honor.

Day 109 ~ First Frog of the Season

Anna has always loved frogs and toads. Now that we’ve had a little rain, they are coming out to play. Anna was thrilled to find this little guy and was ever so gentle with him.

Day 109 ~ Hi Jenny

Jenny got to visit for the weekend. Since she worked all day, she was a bit tired and was happy to sit and watch Anna and I play frisbee. Her gorgeous blue eyes always have a sparkle!

Day 109 ~ Paw Fuzz

I shared this on the Daily Project also… from the family Haemodoraceae, the Kangaroo Paw flower.

Day 109 ~ Trio

Also from my mom’s garden, I love finding clusters of three.

Day 109 ~ Outgrown

Heading back into the house with the sun setting, I saw this snail shell abandoned on the tree trunk… outgrown.

Day 110 ~ Doll Show

For two months, Anna has been anticipating this doll show coming to Austin. She was on extra good behavior the week before to be able to go and she really enjoyed seeing some of the reborn artists she had met in New Braunfels and San Antonio at previous shows. The place was really crowded and their were only two tables of reborns, so it was a quick trip. Even here, she has trouble with eye contact but she does love holding the babies!

Day 112 ~ School Day

Dominic looked so cute this morning that I had to get a quick snap before school.

Thanks for looking and I hope to have higher quality photos next week… sometimes you just have to push through the creative lulls to find your art again. I hope you have a wonderful week!

Day 101 ~ Blue and Green

From the night before she got sick, I was playing outside with Anna… breathing the spring air and flinging my arms wide. It was a glorious day. I looked up and caught sight of the pure blue sky and bright green leaves, something made me want to capture it.

Day 105 ~ Garden 1 and 2

Since Mom spent a lot of time with Anna yesterday, Curtis and I tackled some spring projects. While he cleaned out the garage, I got busy planting some new flowers in the garden. This is called Origami Mix Columbine and is the most unusually shaped flower I’ve ever seen.

These are 3D African Daisies and they are the most beautiful hue of purple I’ve ever seen.

Thanks for looking! I’m determined to shoot much more this week. Hopefully Anna will sleep tonight and be back to school by Wednesday. Three weeks of kids at home makes for a tired mommy. <3

Day 94 ~ Ill Again

After his fever returned and before we’d gone to see his pediatrician on Thursday, Dominic was burning up and laying in the bed beside my office desk. I let him sleep for a while before going to the doctor.

Day 95 ~ New Growth

I noticed that our rose bush out front was wildly out of control a few weeks ago, so I trimmed it back. I was so pleased to see new growth this week. What a beautiful specimen.

Day 95 ~ Refuge

As part of CMpro, one of our members suggested that we create a collaborative project for Friday’s Daily Project post using a yellow balloon. This was my vision… to have a yellow balloon floating under an umbrella that is also floating while it rains all around. It took ages to set up and I wasn’t happy with the outcome, so I didn’t post this one. You can’t even see the water in the background!

Day 95 ~ Yearning to Float

This was my entry for the yellow balloon collaborative project for the Daily Project.

Day 96 ~ Urban Hug

A trip to San Marcos to meet Jenny for lunch yielded an unexpected lovely moment between siblings.

Day 98 ~ Quack

My power walk this morning was interrupted by this inquisitive duck.

Day 98 ~ Shrooms

Working on a Creativity Challenge for Clickin Moms, I got an extra image that I liked… cool, textured mushrooms.

Wishing you all a quiet, healthy week. Thanks for looking!

Day One

Abundance

In Bloom

Blossom

The Lone Star

Rapid Retreat

Takeoff

Gathering

From Above

Unexpected

Day Two

Surprise Spider

Beetle War

Bluebonnet Sunset

Drunk on Pollen

Made it to the Top

There are actually three insects in this image. Can you find them?

Taking Flight

Big as a Blade

In Plain Sight

I think shooting non-portrait types of images can be an incredibly rewarding and soul-enriching study. Thanks for looking!

Sometimes Charlie just isn’t into posing.

Playing at Nana’s house, Nana and Anna are oblivious to what Mystery is doing.

Hey… what you are doing over here?

Kitty McGee is unimpressed with everything. Sniff.

Anna waiting patiently for someone to throw her the frisbee. I love that she’s wearing her monster shirt that she made at school for the 100th day.

Dominic comes pedaling by on Anna’s trike.

My aunt was visiting and took Charlie for a walk. He was so happy.

The last vestiges of fall and winter.

Dandelions growing by the Llano River.

I had grown so accustomed to shooting from ground level that as the month passed, I found myself popping down there for my P365 in 52 images too. These I’ve already shared before but you can see how changing your perspective for a month can yield to permanent changes in perception.

Day 79 ~ Soccer Season

Day 80 ~ Fallen

Thanks for looking! Now go see how Jenny interpreted Interesting Perspectives!

Day 85 ~ My Good Side

Rarely do I let my hair go natural and I always forget how wavy it is. And my mom, being naturally very curly, was tickled to see me wear my hair like this. I wonder if everyone has a good side and bad side? I definitely do. I like this side of my face much more than the other.

Day 85 ~ Voight Soccer Field

While at soccer practice for Anna, there was a momentary parting of the children which left a clear view of the opposite side of the field. I marveled at the blue sky, the green grass… one of those moments where you realize you are seeing something for the first time even though you’ve seen it before.

Day 88 ~ I Get Lost

Probably an awkward in-camera crop… I don’t care. Dominic’s eyes never fail to mesmerize me and he was indulgent enough to let me use my macro on them. Thank you, Pickle.

Day 89 ~ Please (do not) Discard

Mom and I had lunch together on Saturday, just the two of us. We ate at Chipotle (WW-friendly 9 points for a chicken fajita salad with black beans, peppers and onions, corn relish, and a sprinkle of cheese) and sat outside since the weather was so agreeable. The grackles were ready for us to drop any morsel. I cracked up to see them actually dive into the trash can and I love how they are sitting there just waiting.

Day 89 ~ What Are You Looking At?

Having found an incredible patch of bluebonnets in the field behind my house, I returned home to see Charlie poking his nose through a hole in the fence. I’m not sure he was too keen on getting his picture taken here but he was so cute!

Day 90 ~ Fallen Blossom

The tree beside our driveway is just starting to bloom. It’s a hybrid tree from A&M of which I can never remember the name. This perfect blossom had fallen and caught my attention after Anna and I played outside last night.

Thanks for looking! I hope you have a wonderful week!!!