hollywood farm girl

hometown runaway

2009-06-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

i ran away from the rootthinking the root was going to make me rotwhat i found is that by running from the rooti ran from the beginningof all that i am and was and will be"the hair of the dog"returning to the city with the most fast food restaurants per capitain the united statesreturning to the town that was merely a backdrop for the play of our emotions and karmic paybacki cursed the townthe

hollywood farm girl etheridge chooses not to live like closeted homos who hit on cops in bathroom stalls.

2009-05-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

i find it a wee bit fascinating that i legally, formally, and across the board, changed my name to Etheridge years ago. and yet, as all of these reports are published about the "Prop Wait-We-Changed-Our-Minds-Git-To-The-Back-Of-The-Bus-Again". all the articles are talking about melissa etheridge married to tammy lynn michaels. which i find interesting. what if they were to report all of this with

loving v. virginia

2009-05-26T12:52:00.001-07:00

i looked at my shoes and realized no one else is going to walk in them besides me.

2009-05-18T12:25:00.001-07:00

"you have to stop panicking" she said to me. i know, i know, i know. i'll get there.

once upon a time in hollywood, there was a boil

2009-05-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

to be honest, my closet is full of either torn up jeans or shorts, and sweats. there is another closet that honey uses for what i call her "liberace clothes". these are the clothes she wears purely for camera and on-stage appearances. i do indeed take up a tiny corner of that liberace closet (heh) of my own, with i'm-still-not-that-skinny-yet glamour clothes. but until i lose another whatever

orchestrating a thunder clap lightening

2009-04-29T13:14:00.000-07:00

ummm.... this whole *thunder clap**lightening* swine flu??? um... i don't believe it's any different that the *no thunder clap or lightening* flu that we all pass around at least bi-annually; we get fevers and throw up and get runny poos and are sick for several days. and yeah, some people die from the *no thunder clap* flu every year. gracious. now i might be wrong, like my blind self was with

pills, princessa, percocet, pain, and planning wars

2009-04-27T16:53:00.000-07:00

<---- this is the before photo, april 23 this is the after photo, april 27---->i think the united states should use deviated septum surgery as a new form of torture. it's similar to water-boarding, but with thick, bloody phlegm. and i've also discovered that i don't think i'll ever be able to find love for pills. i was feared this potential, especially with all the pill-loving within my

proof that i am a deviant.

2009-04-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

a deviated septum. this is what he called it. "zig zag" and "crooked all over" were some more descriptions he gave as he peered up through my nose, with a giant tweezer-like object. like a nasal pap smear, is what i thought to myself. it's been many months, maybe many years, since i've noted my nostrils asymmetry. no joke. most people have small differences in the two hemispheres of their faces,

eating hats in shades of gray

2009-04-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

sometimes ya gotta hold on to the surfboard with two handsno arms leftover for blogssad but truenever permanentfor me i thinkwhile dancing between black and whitei found finite shades of graymuch like the shades of skin shades of humorshades of intelligenceshades of sexualityshades of truthshades of parentingshades of lovingi don't think we really start to grow up until we are 30. birth at 30.

to laugh or not to laugh

2009-03-23T14:48:00.000-07:00

she said, "i can't believe what you have written online, in your blog."i said, "i can't believe what i have NOT written online, in my blog."and then i smiled. :-)

damn death

2009-03-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

falling down while learning to ski. it's like a sick sense of humor, a really shitty script. it's not fair. two kids left to ache for a mother for the rest of their lives. and liam, poor soul, i can't even begin to imagine how he is feeling. sometimes i really really have to sit and take a minute because sorrow can be so sweeping.

when the eyelids won't open for fear of what they'll see; when one grows deaf cuz what the ears hear is worse than death

2009-03-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

when the truth continues to echolike a knife to the back it might be time to gowhen the empty nights far outnumber the friendly onesit might be time to gowhen the strain begins to wear at spiritual muscleit might be timewhen the bullets outweighintegrityit might be timewhen the love is like a drought with no end sightand the hatred is piercing like a sword in the stonepermanentit might be

we are family- aunts, uncles, cousins, and me.

2009-03-14T08:10:00.001-07:00

I fell in love with several someones familyhow does it happen that as a child, they are merely aunts and uncles and cousins,but as a motherwith a desire to raise good children, they are more than relatives to me, they are my world of where i come fromWho I Am,they have grown into examples of what to be i am watching them for ideas on raising childreni look to them for other ways to disciplinethan

the morning special

2009-02-28T15:51:00.001-08:00

i told myself i wouldn't need help with the twins when they were born. so what happened is that instead of having a nanny or night nurse, we hired my wife's tour accountant (who must possess some sort of inner mary poppins) who ended up living near/with us for almost 18 months. which was awesome for me, as it was like having an extra set of hands at all times. when it came time for her to get

serenity is a choice

2009-02-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

if there's one book that needs to be written, it's called, "Perfect Mothering For Dummies". the problem is that i don't think that there is such a thing. i'm beginning to see that each child is different, and each child needs a slightly different parent. for instance, my daughter, she needs a few more feelings when being disciplined. she needs warmth and maybe some humor, and a big giant hug. my

the understatement of hope

2009-02-11T11:40:00.000-08:00

i went back to the houseback to the scene of the crimesi drove past history,not stopping as i cruised into the rest of my lifei don't know why i always felt that returning would somehow allow me the chance to erase what happened in the first placebut now i knowafter all these timesno matter how often i tread through the waters of Life Gone By~the memories don't fade, the questions multiplyand my

I am my own Razzi

2009-01-25T07:09:00.000-08:00

This is Johnnie Rose and Miller I don't like the chase of the little gnats, so I am hoping that posting a pic here will deter them from spooking the hell out of us in the future.

little gnats at the cafe

2009-01-25T06:41:00.001-08:00

honey has the cold i had last week... it's rainy and dreary here... and britney spears is moving into town, and is going to fuck up all of our hard-earned privacy. we went to our neighborhood establishment yesterday: a little cafe that we frequent when we don't feel like cleaning up after a meal. a fine place to find childcare provider, if you know what to look for in a waitress. but that's

Amen

2009-01-20T06:26:00.000-08:00

may we journey forward with neighbors in hand and hope's wings on our backs.

damn myself! miracles!

2009-01-19T19:16:00.000-08:00

when the little guy spiked a fever a couple of days ago, i didn't sweat: we had four more days until the sandeeeeAAAAAAAGOOO (to quote the toddlers) trip. there was plenty of time for him to rest and get better before we were to leave. then i got sick last night, and the little girl was spiking a fever of 103.5 today at noon. that says to this mom, "hell, no, we won't go". who wants snotty noses

holla obama, welcome michelle

2009-01-15T20:25:00.000-08:00

honey has to be out of the virginia house by 4am, to get into the dc security line by 8am, to be able to be DONE with security by NOOOOOON. now that is also to be noted: 4am dc time is 1am our time at home. which is where her body's time clock will be attuned to, california time. egad. i've got a stack of san diego fun that i am going to peruse and highlight tonight. of course, i'll need to start

no inauguration, except for my relations

2009-01-06T14:39:00.001-08:00

obama. i was gonna be there, and cry on the damn lawn as he swore on the bible to be a good president. but then the parade people said no backpacks or baby carriers. and no picnic baskets or purses or duffle bags... basically, our family can go to the inauguration, but we will have to lug the twins with no carrier of any sort, bring no food or beverages (unless they fit in our pockets), and

oh, for kryst's sake.

2008-12-30T07:08:00.000-08:00

so no wonder when i googled "YAMAKA" nothing came up. for some reason, i didn't let that deter me, and so i wrote alllll about YAMAKAS. which i have just discovered is spelled YARMELKE. YARRRRRRR-MELK. see why i should only be speaking for myself? i can't even write a nice little blog without completely fuckering up the spelling, and therefor, perhaps the point.YARMELKE. that sounds like

time tattles authenticity or trickery

2008-12-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

...and if he is lying, if he is a wolf in sheep's clothing, we'll see. we'll all see. a wolf in sheep's clothing will always end up exposed. if his heart is open, and his hug was genuine... then we shall see that as well.we are merely opening our hearts to love everyone, regardless of their sexual or religious orientation. isn't that what life is about? cuz if we only open our hearts to people

the big rick's yamaka

2008-12-21T11:10:00.001-08:00

OMG. when was the last time i had so many minutes to play with my blog? awesome.so honey met rick warren last night. well, she spoke to him on the phone beforehand, giving us insight into the man the media has made our latest "HE HATES YOU!" target. if i sit real still and think about it.. it's almost like reverse smear-the-queer. remember that recess game in second grade (natalie? derek? karyn?)