Note: This entry may include spoilers after the break so if you don’t want to know about the movie, don’t read beyond “SPOILER ALERT!”

Sometime last week, Ann got an e-mail from MovieTickets.com about a free, pre-release screening of a DreamWorks movie “from the people who brought you Kung Fu Panda and Madagascar.” So being we had nothing to do today and it was free, we went ahead and signed up to go.

Unlike most movie screenings, this one wasn’t in Hollywood but in beautiful, downtown Brea. (I’m being facetious, folks.) Had we known there wasn’t a freeway close to the damn city so we would have taken the streets to the place, which is exactly what we did on the way home.

When we arrived, there was already a group of people waiting to get in since seating was on a first-come, first-served basis. While waiting outside the theater, people from the Nielsen survey company gave us questionnaires asking us about our movie viewing habits: what we’d seen, what we’d want to see, if we prefer 3D or traditional, etc. We also got wristbands upon entry to show the rest of the moviegoers we were more specialer than they were.

As indicated in the e-mail invitation, there were quite a few stipulations for this event, including:

• Being accompanied by a child between 6-11 since it was an animated feature
• You couldn’t be or appear to be intoxicated or under the influence of drugs (?)
• Cameras, cell phones with cameras or any type of recording devices were not permitted and those caught trying to record would be removed and subject to criminal charges
• Attendees were subject to a physical search of their belongings and person

Remember that this was a first screening so it was serious business and as such, extensive security measures were taken, including all participants having to walk through a metal detector. There was also a guy in the theater with night vision binoculars so he could spy on the audience while the movie was showing. His stoicism and appearance reminded us of Crazy Steve from Drake and Josh, a guy that could go off at any second and for any reason.

Before the movie started, the Nielsen people scanned the crowd for potential post-movie interviewees who would have a chance to speak with the makers of the movie/studio suits and give their opinion. It kind of reminded me of the “Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie” episode of The Simpsons where the kids were taken into a room and shown potential new characters: “Would you kids like to come with me?”

Once picked, they took the names of everybody in the group and from the looks of it, they already knew who they wanted to talk to: families of four with a boy of at least 8 years of age, so unfortunately we didn’t make the cut. That’s too bad because I could have given them an earful.

Finally, once all the seats were filled and interviewees finalized, the title was revealed: How to Train Your Dragon, yet another movie based on a children’s book, because Lord knows we haven’t had enough of those lately.

SPOILER ALERT! If you don’t want to know more about the movie, don’t read beyond this point!

I know I’ve dragged this one long enough up to now, so let’s get to the point.

What we was was a work in progress, meaning it was made up of the following:

• Completed animation
• Pre-animation and pre-texture stage, so the backgrounds were empty and character movements (mouth, legs, etc.) were limited or non-existent
• Original storyboard drawings
• It was not in 3D as the final release will be

Not to give up too much of the movie’s story, here’s what I took away from it. Just remember that your ol’ pal Dave has studied screenwriting and understands the formula a little more than Joe Moviegoer.

• It’s very dark in terms of settings and story, unlike any other DreamWorks movie I’ve seen. Younger kids may not “get it.”
• There is some humor but not enough, methinks. But thankfully, the story didn’t rely on the current, topical humor that DreamWorks has relied on for so many movies and is outdated by the time of release.
• If you like your movies with lots of Vikings and dragons, this movie is for you.
• DreamWorks loves the classic underdog/outcast-saves-the-day/buddy story.
• It was predictable at times. In fact, I could have sworn some of Hiccup’s lines were ripped right from Shrek and man, I totally saw what was going to happen in one of the final scenes.
• Did I mention all those Vikings and dragons?
• The pacing was slow at times.
• There was a real soundtrack and score, not a bunch of Top 40/pop songs.
• The playful Toothless will remind you of one of your pets and make you smile. Great job with him.
• The dragon illustration on one of the Viking ships reminded me a lot of Trogdor from Homestar Runner.

About 2/3 into the movie, Anthony wanted to go home, which was a good indication that it wasn’t keeping his attention. He did the same thing for Monsters vs. Aliens but loved Mr. Bean’s Holiday–go figure. But he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t that impressed: the family next to us left about 20 minutes into the movie.

We were given yet another questionnaire afterward and yep, I was pretty thorough in my opinion of the movie. I pretty much said what I wrote here but in not as much detail.

Overall, it seemed too long and there were a few scenes I think could have been deleted since they didn’t really move the story along. Even so, chances are I would see it once it’s released to the general public because a) it will be in 3D, and b) I’d love to see what made the final cut.

And my disappointment for not being picked for a post-movie interview was all for naught as I overheard one of the Nielsen people tell one of the families that the interviews were canceled. Remember when I said I thought it was too long? Well, there was another screening about 30 minutes after this one so I’m guessing there wasn’t time to get in-depth opinions.

With a little work, I think this movie could be much better but as for now, it was good…just not excellent.

So there’s my opinion. At any rate, here’s the trailer for How to Train Your Dragon, due in March 2010.

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As I sit at home wondering when I will get the next call from a prospective employer, there is a proofreader somewhere who is failing miserably at what they are supposedly good at doing.

Here’s proof of that, as seen in today’s print edition of the Orange County Register:

If there’s one word that should never be misspelled,  it’s “English,” and especially when the ad is seeking those proficient in said language.

Well, I guess it could have been worse…like on a billboard…

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My post about the Big City Slider Station continues to get hits to this day; many readers leaving comments about how they experienced the same thing as we did when their burgers turned silver. Hopefully, they are as lucky I am and have their money returned once they contact the manufacturer.

We were hoping that the grill would be a reasonable substitute to our George Foreman Lean, Mean, Fat-Fighting Whatever Machine since we threw it out about a year ago, victim of constant use. That wasn’t the case.

But we did have one nifty machine left, one that has been sitting on top of the fridge for a long time and we just don’t use too often. And it’s name is the Sunbeam Rocket Grill.

As you can tell, we have yet to remove the sticker on the front of the grill which touts the machine’s features. That’s just how often we use the thing. But after being in a position where we didn’t want to fire up the barbecue or use the stove, this little griller came in handy. Here’s what you do.

Unlike other grills, instead of just dropping the meat (in this case, hamburger) between the cooking surfaces, it must be placed in a parchment pouch:

Once the meats are placed in the pouch, it must then be hanged from two hooks on the top of the grills:

You then close the cover and the grilling surfaces will slowly squeeze together, cooking the meat to perfection and according to the recommended time you must enter by turning the dial on front.

*DING!*

You then remove the meat:

As you can see, all of the grease and fat drips down to the bottom of the bag. Once removed, you get a good look at how well the Rocket Grill cooks:

Now that’s a cooked hamburger! All that’s left to do is add the condiments of your choice and you’re good to go:

Yes, there is ketchup, mustard and relish inside that hamburger; you just can’t see it all. And if you think this thing cooks ground beef good, it does chicken just as well.

If you ever come across a Rocket Grill, I highly recommend picking one up. I’m not sure if that’s entirely possible now since I think we bought this, along with a box of parchment pouches, on clearance at Target over a year ago. But I’m sure if you look hard enough, you’ll find one.

Oh, here’s a link to the item on HSN. I know it’s sold out but I’m posting it so you can laugh at the negative comments from idiots who couldn’t figure out how to use the damn thing, especially this one from user chihuahuamom82, who seems to be more concerned with being “bombered” with “lables” rather the grill’s performance:

The grill does a nice job. HOWEVER when it comes out of the box, you are BOMBERED with LABELS,LABLES,LABLES!!! Acrooss the top,and across the front,most annoying. They are very hard to get OFF, told by HSN customer service to “soak” with water, doesn’t work. Called manufacturer said LABLES should not se taken off. Told by manufacturer to try alcohol which worked, but left a DULL finish on the front of the machine. It is going back today. NO WARE DOES THE PACKAGING, LABEL ,OWNER’S MANUAL say DO NOT REMOVE LABLES, CUSTOMER SERVICE COULD NOT TELL ME WHAT TO USE TO REMOVE LABLES, WITHOUT DULLING THE FINISH,

Freaking idiot! It works! STFU and take an English and spelling class!

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@ Dollar Tree. Posts like this are what stop me from using my blog as a showcase for my writing samples.

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As the adventure that is my life continues to unfold with so much drama, I do have some good news to share.

First, I’m not going to mention anything about jobs and such so as not to jinx them. But I’m confident that things are going to turn around and soon. There are several things brewing in the near future and I can almost taste them. It’s a great feeling to have.

I also went down to Apple One and went through the whole interviewing process there. Thanks for the tip, Harna!

Secondly, I’ve applied for unemployment and yes, food stamps. If you read my HubPages post you’d know that I have no shame in doing so. It’s definitely a sign of the times. The way I see it, I’ve been paying into the system for years and haven’t tapped into it one bit, so now in my time of need I think I’m due. Damnit.

Thirdly, you may recall the saga of Ann’s prescriptions or lack thereof. While there was a glimmer of hope a few days later, things got even brighter yesterday when she got a letter from the Bridges to Access program stating that she was eligible for a year’s worth of her medication. And today, this came in the mail:

Things are slowly starting to turn around.

And Ann just fell asleep watching The Lawrence Welk Show. I think I’m with her on that one.

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Now playing: Lawrence Welk – Calcutta
via FoxyTunes

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No, that title doesn’t imply that the blog will be changing any time soon. What it does imply is that, while I’m out of work, I’m trying some different things just to keep my sanity and to perhaps generate some money.

The first thing I did was start contributing to HubPages, site that uses Google AdSense to help generate revenue for the writers. And so far, it’s worked: I earned one whole penny today!

At any rate, go on over and check it out. A few clicks here and there definitely won’t hurt anybody and the more hits, the more revenue I can possibly generate. I may use posts that I’ve already written here but for the most part they will be new and original stuff, like this article about my adventures in Food Stamp Land.

Another thing I did during this down time was make a quick recording of my voice, or an aircheck, for whatever reason. Maybe someone will hear it and say, “Hey, this guy’s gooood! Let’s offer him a job doing voiceovers!”

Not bloody likely but at this point in my life, I’ve got nothing to lose. So if you’re so inclined, here’s the clip for your enjoyment (and no, it’s not an homage to Mr. Microphone):

Now you know how I sound. Amazing, no? Just keep in mind a few things:

• I don’t always sound so nasally. I’m still fighting off a cold or something and when I really try and am not stuffy, I sound much better.
• I used the USB microphone that came with my Rock Band set, so the audio probably isn’t as clear as it should be.
• I couldn’t think of anything else to say. This was off the top of my head and boy, you should have heard the not-saved outtakes.

The job search continues but to no avail after three whole days of unemployment. But I am going to a local temp agency tomorrow to see if they can help me out with something.

If not, it looks like I’ll be grabbing a ghetto blaster, Mr. Microphone, a sombrero and taking my fabulous voice to the streets and start rapping about BluBlockers*.

*Check the 5th bullet on my About page for some personal, relevant trivia

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Now playing: Miami Vice – Crockett`s Theme – Jan Hammer
via FoxyTunes

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It was almost prophetic the way so many little strange things that sort led up to what happened at work today.

For one, I told one of my co-workers that it was going to be difficult to be at work today after a busy weekend.

Second, my manager was referring to a specific program on her computer that, if I had access to it, would allow me to look up the information on my own. When she told me she’d get me trained on it I jokingly told her, “Oh, there’ll be no need for that.”

“Why?”

“I…I just don’t think that…anyway, here’s what I wanted to ask you,” I said as I changed the subject. She looked curiously at me.

Then shortly after our little dialog, we were told that there was going to be a company-wide meeting at 8:30 am. And if I know anything, I know that company-wide meetings are never good things.

We then all gathered around the facility boss at the usual arbitrary location: “around the printers.” Her mood was glum as was that of the rest of the company. She then gave a quick prelude to what she was about to read and the mood immediately soured afterward.

What it came down to was yet another Project: 2010, something I’ve become all too familiar with after the experience at my last job. The board was set; the pieces were moving. And we were all going to be the pawns.

As the meeting dragged on, I stood there and began to think about what the boss was saying until that one point when everything she said just became meaningless blather and a psychedelic blur. I looked up, quietly cursed whomever lives in the clouds and controls the universe, thought about what the future lies, and then finally became so emotional that I had to leave the meeting.

You gotta remember that I’m still coming off the effects of a layoff that happened in March, something from which I’ve yet to recover from financially and emotionally. Really, guys, that last layoff totally fucked me up. And to add to that fucking comes news of another layoff, albeit up to a year in the future? Jesus.

I left the meeting not making eye contact with anybody. I let my emotions get the best of me and stormed down the hallway and in the process, I flung off my iPod and headphones and they went flying. I then had a seat on the couch and tried to regain my composure. Eventually I did and rejoined the meeting in progress.

It continued to drag on. I saw more than a few people wiping tears away. A few minutes later we were dismissed and as I returned to my desk, I began to take down and pack all of my personal articles. Thankfully, there weren’t many and I figured that if we were eventually going to get the ax, I might as well get a jump on things.

About 10 minutes later I was approached by my managers who informed me that they believed my actions were “inappropriate” and that “there was no room for that kind of behavior” in the building.

I was then told to go home. So after being harassed about where to park my bike by fat, smoking assholes that couldn’t tie their shoes without breaking a sweat, after being moved from desk to desk during my first 4 months of employment, after being computerless until about a month ago, a little show of human emotion is what gets me the exit door. Wow.

I only told a few people goodbye, and honestly it was the most I ever spoke to them. They both seemed a bit confused as to what happened and even my direct manager had no idea what had happened as she was still handing me work as I was gathering my things. I surrendered my key card, was escorted out of the building by the two who told me to leave (as if there’s anything there worth fucking stealing), was stared down by them as I left the parking lot. I was gone.

I left messages with everybody I possibly could (in HR and with my recruiter) regarding what happened today and never got a call back. Hopefully I will tomorrow so I can explain everything that happened.

So the day’s been quite a whirlwind of emotion, frustration, uncertainness, tears. I’ve been spending a good portion of it posting/editing/polishing my resume, applying for jobs online and whether I want it or not, possible sources for public assistance.

And my head is now throbbing. Goodnight, all.

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Now playing: Frank Sinatra – I Got Plenty O’ Nuttin’
via FoxyTunes

While driving home from work the other day, I witnessed a curious sight that made me want to punch the face of the person committing the crime.

I was sitting at a red light when I saw a teen driver on the opposite side of the intersection waiting for traffic to clear so he could make a left turn.

As he waited to turn, I couldn’t help but notice the cigarette that was dangling from left hand outside the window. Strike One.

Then as he continued to creep forward, I saw that he was looking down, then up, then down, then up. Shortly after that he raised his hand and, as you might have guessed by now, he was using it to send text messages. Strike Two.

And as if that wasn’t enough, in the middle of it all he was distracted by a young lady riding her bike on the sidewalk.

Strike Three—get your ass out of the car and sit down for your tongue-lashing.

Look here, you fucking twat waffle. Have we learned nothing about the dangers of texting while driving? I know that at 18 you think you’re fucking invincible and that you’re never going to die, but guess what? Shit happens—really bad shit happens and one day, whether through your own fault, at the hands of another or just nature taking its course, you will die.

I sincerely hope that one day, just for the sake of karma, you’re rear-ended by one of your high school cronies that was texting one of their friends. If that’s what it takes for all of you to learn your lesson, then so be it. Hell, this goes for adults, too.

In the event that the aforementioned scenario never takes place, what schools need today is a new version of Scared Straight! or an updated, even more graphic [and high definition] version of Red Asphalt (WARNING: cheesy but you’ll see some brain soup) to teach these little shitheads the importance of paying fucking attention while driving. This goes for you too, Maria Shriver, because cutesy little dioramas featuring the school’s best thespians fall short telling the real stories.

I may be coming off like an ass here but I take such a stand because I’ve got a family to look after and with a road filled with assholes such as yourself not paying attention to how they are driving, within seconds my house could be home to a widow and orphan—and the typesetting kind.

Ahem. That’s all I got. Oh, except for a quick note to that other teenager who, following the rules of the road, rode his bike past me before I made a right turn onto my street.

I’ve got nothing against your cycling skills, kid, but you sure as shit could use a haircut because you looked like one of these idiots.

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Now playing: John Lennon – Instant Karma
via FoxyTunes

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In my previous post I had mentioned that we couldn’t afford to buy Ann’s Advair inhalers because of their ridiculous cost of $300 (without health insurance).

This is when it pays to work in a medical center.

After hearing of her plight from Ann’s father (who also works there), one of the local doctors decided that this wasn’t the way things should be and handed Ann’s dad the following:

Two samples of Advair. Now the two of us can breathe again, Ann literally and me figuratively. And this is what being a doctor is about: caring for the needs of your patients and helping those who need it, not letting them suffer because the cost of their prescriptions are astronomical.

Okay, other things. Because of the whole layoff thing and me working a suck-ass job, naturally, we have had to let some things fall by the wayside. One of those things is a credit card that I have been sending some cash here and there but not exactly what they are asking for.

So now it’s come to a point where the India-based autodialer keeps punching in my number and calling me (which is the card issuer’s right, I suppose) at home and on my cell phone. While the name and number appear on my home phone, they don’t on my cell phone.

Rather than have to reach into my pocket every single time they call to see who it is, I decided to save the number and assign these guys their own ringtone, which is below:

Not only does that song rock even decades later, it also tips me off as to who is calling. If you can’t figure it out, well, I could help you but it really is pretty obvious.

Don’t hurt your brains to hard in trying to figure out the issuing bank, people

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Now playing: Johnny Paycheck – Down To My Last Dime
via FoxyTunes

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In the extremely unlikely event that the job market starts to get better and people start hiring, I’ve been spending this cool evening updating my resume and trying to do some networking through some job sites.

Because something needs to happen–and soon.

See, like most people, Ann needs to breathe in order to live. At the moment, it’s becoming rather difficult without the use of her inhaler which, when covered by my former health care provider, cost a measly $40. Measly = with what I used to get paid. If she were to get the same inhaler without insurance, it would cost fucking $300.

That’s, like, a good portion of one of my lousy paychecks and still a lot of money with a decent paycheck and no benefits. Talk about highway robbery.

Then there’s The Kid who is currently lying on the couch and occasionally waking up in tears, his little frame burning up with a fever. While he is slowly cooling down, he’s still pretty sick. Thankfully, he’s covered under Healthy Families and his doctor visit shouldn’t cost much nor will any of his prescribed medications. Hopefully, he will just require some R&R.

Having a sick child and a wife that can’t breathe properly really sucks, and I feel like a real worthless jackass for not having the proper health insurance to take care of them both. I hate to see the both of them suffer, and my only hope is that I don’t get sick since I don’t get paid days off at my dog-and-pony show.

In case you couldn’t tell, yes, I’m pretty down at the moment. Sorry.

The song you see in my signature is an instrumental which sets my current mood perfectly: it’s dark, ominous, and gives the feeling of anticipation as if something–good, bad or indifferent–is about to happen.

Because at this point, it must.

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Now playing: The Alan Parsons Project – In the Lap of the Gods
via FoxyTunes