Holy Hot Mess!

To Holla! or not to Holla! that is the question

2010-08-06T23:32:00.003-04:00

This is a Public Service Announcement

There are some people who can throw out a "Holla!" I am not one of those people. I can try, but I look and feel like an idiot. As a result of this self-awareness, I have decided that Hollas should be reserved for very special occasions. I ask you, are you Holla! kinda guy/gal? If not, I beg you, save it for those truly worthy moments.

A few examples:

My friend was very apprehensive about her upcoming solo vacation with the kids (a first). She found out her daughter's best friend would be at the resort the exact same week.

This..... is Holla! worthy.

Getting to work on time.

This.... is NOT Holla! worthy.

This is an inside joke and it.... IS Holla! worthy.

You get the idea.

This PSA has been brough to you by Holy Hot Mess.

Dear Olympics,

2010-02-28T11:35:00.002-05:00

How do you do it? Every two years I think, "I doubt I'll watch the Olympics this year", yet somehow I find myself glued to the TV. I become an expert in some oddball sport that I won't remember in two years. I find myself waxing poetic about the back-story of some athlete from a country I've never heard of.

Granted this year I was hooked from the start. How could I resist? My uncle was walking in the opening ceremonies. I didn't see him, but I'm pretty sure I got eyestrain from the effort. But thanks to my vigilance I got to enjoy some cool lighting effects, found myself entranced by an opera singers hair and was left wanting with the big cauldron reveal. Vancouver you could have done better, mechanical difficulties aside that cauldron blows. Let's hope the next host city gets it right. Back to Uncle Mitch, after more eyestrain I was rewarded with tons of Uncle Mitch air time when Evan won the gold! Hey crybaby Yevgeny, shut-it you didn't win… better luck next time. No-one likes a poor sport.

I finally figured out why I love the winter Olympics. Most of the sports are full throttle versions of childhood winter activities. The luge and the bobsled are just sledding…. I could totally do that, if I weren't a wimp. J

Well as the Olympics come to a close, I find myself wonder, what in the heck am I going to do to keep myself busy. See you in two years!

The Pink Menace's take on the Beyonce Pants Debate

2010-02-06T23:05:00.000-05:00

http://themindofthepinkmenace.blogspot.com/2010/02/so-what-happens-when-beyonce-does-put.html

So what happens when Beyonce does put on her pants???

Numerous requests and reports have asked Beyonce to please start wearing pants. While we aren't sure why she refuses to wear pants, one has to wonder - what would happen if she DID in fact put some pants on?

The mini skirts she wears are cute - and we are all really proud that a curvy woman is shaking her thing - and deep inside we are all desperately hoping that she has panties on (and really, really hope for fullbacks). But, what would happen if she put on pants?

Picture this: You are sitting all cozy on your couch, ready for the Grammy's, you've got your Cheetos and your mug of hot chocolate and you are snuggled under a blanket - then all of a sudden Beyonce comes out and What the.......

A Cheetos literally falls out of your mouth - hold the phone - back the truck up......

Beyonce has pants on?????

What happened?

Next thing we know Jay-Z is using electronics in his music, Brittney is a sane, blonde virgin again, and Lady Gaga gets her clothes at the Gap?

Is this a world we want to live in? Is this a world that we want our children growing up in?

That my fellow bloggers is the question.......

Another question that comes to my mind is why the hatred for pants? They are comfy - they provide warmth, and they can be quite fabulous. I have thought long and hard about this and Ive come up with a few reasons....

One - she likes to feel the wind between her legs...

Two - Rhiannon loves pants....and we know all about that....

Three - Shes got a banging bod and hell - I might just walk around in a bikini if I were her...

Four - Her mom hasn't quite figured out how to sew that pattern yet

or my favorite

Five - shes Beyonce - she can basically do whatever she wants!

So Beyonce you go on with your bad ass self and your minis - shake what your mama gave ya - or in your case - designed for you - and keep on keeping on!

Cartoon Network - Destroy Build Destroy - Ahhhhhhhhh, really?

2010-02-03T20:58:00.000-05:00

I was watching the show Destroy Build Destroy with the boys the other night and caught sight of something I don't expect to see on Cartoon Network...the host's junk! Seriously, as my son like's to say, "Inappropriate!". The host seems to only wear very very very tight white pants. Props to him for not going the Beyonce route and forgoing pants altogether, but said pants leave NOTHING to the imagination.

Lest you think I make these things up, check out the nice video below.

Vaguebooking

2010-02-03T09:22:00.001-05:00

Today's Urban Dictionary Word of the Day - Vaguebooking
February 3

An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help.
    Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it"
    Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea"

Example:
"Have you talked to Mark? He's vaguebooking again. I wonder if he's back with Mary..."

Opposite:

Tammy is: "in line at the grocery store"

I took it upon myself to check with Urban Dictionary.com to find a good term for the opposite as well...I give you:
     facespew

     Noun:

     A psychological phenomenon present when Facebook users are mysteriously compelled to publicly
     express themselves at profound, emotional levels whereas they otherwise would not do so in actual life

     Verb
     Beatrice’s facespew concerning the lousy details of her breakup was surprising, as she is notably shy and
     reserved in person.

     Friends don't let friends facespew.

2009 in Music (mash-up)

2009-12-28T21:37:00.002-05:00

Urban Dictionary - December 16: immaculate congestion

2009-12-16T07:06:00.000-05:00

December 16: immaculate congestion

When traffic is backed up for miles on a highway, crawling along -- and then suddenly everyone returns to normal high speeds without passing an accident, stalled car, or road construction.

We spent 45 minutes bumper-to-bumper for no reason?!? It must be immaculate congestion.

The Joy of Technology - Funny Cartoon

2009-12-14T21:19:00.000-05:00

Guitar Hero Christmas

2009-12-14T20:16:00.000-05:00

I showed this to Derek and he said, "That is my favorite Guitar Hero Song. It is from Guitar Hero Legend's of Rock and it's an easy song. See it only has three bars."

PS Greenday fans - Next year, the band is getting its own video game, Green Day: Rock Band! (If Derek had a car, a driver's license and money... he'd be first in line for this)

Urban Dictionary - Word of the day Face Base

2009-12-10T23:59:00.000-05:00

Face Base

The point in a romantic relationship when pictures of the couple begin to appear on Facebook, and or when the relationship status changes to "In a relationship".

"It looks like Kat has made it to Face base with that new guy."

"Yeah his picture is all over her profile now."

Sleeping in...

2009-12-10T23:36:00.000-05:00

Sleeping in...

I. Infant - they don't sleep end of story

Toddler - up at first light, too much to do, too many things to destroy

5 yrs - 10 yrs
      Weekdays - school - ugh can't pry them out of bed with a crowbar
Weekends - CARTOONS - back up at the ass crack of dawn

11 yrs - 14 yrs
      Unknown element

14 yrs - 22 yrs
      Who wants to wake up.... ever?

22yrs - childrearing yrs
Weekdays - WORK (one word SNOOZE)
    Weekends - There is nothing worth doing that can't wait until after noon

Childrearing yrs
    Entirely dependent upon children's ages.

Friday Fortune Cookie: A Killer Coupon Site (Plus, a Whole Mess of Steals and Deals!): glamour.com

2009-12-10T23:31:00.000-05:00

Friday Fortune Cookie: A Killer Coupon Site (Plus, a Whole Mess of Steals and Deals!): glamour.com

5 Free MP3 Full Albums You Can Download Legally Now - (thanks /www.makeuseof.com)

2009-12-10T23:20:00.002-05:00

I can always count on one of my favorite blogs, MakeUseOf for great free or cheap sites etc. They recently shared a list of free albums. Here is the list:

Nine Inch Nails/The Slip - http://theslip.nin.com/

Coldplay/Left Right Left Right Left - http://www.coldplay.com/lrlrl/lr.html

iLL-Literacy/iB4the1.1 - http://m.ill-literacy.com/listen/

The Crimea/Secrets of the Witching Hour - http://www.thecrimea.net/

Across Tundras/Hersds of the the Fathomless Valleys - http://www.mediafire.com/?mn3xn2ziddz

Smashing Pumpkins/A Song for a Son - http://www.smashingpumpkins.com/

Dear Marketers - Stop implying Santa may bring my kid a flat screen TV!

2009-12-10T23:01:00.001-05:00

'Tis the season....
My youngest son, Andrew age 6 asked me if I thought Santa was bringing a flat screen TV. Ummm, NO! I asked him why he even asked, he said there was a commercial about it on TV. What a bunch of BS!

Motherhood in the Animal Kingdom

2009-12-09T22:11:00.003-05:00

On the riverbank

In Africa

In India

In the Ocean

In Africa

In the Artic

In Africa

Somewhere near Wal-Mart

Malapropsim of the Moment, Mind bottling

2009-12-05T12:22:00.002-05:00

Mind-bottling

When things get so crazy that your thoughts get all trapped, like in a bottle.

Watch Blades of Glory... Will Farrell, "Wow, mind bottling isn't it?"

Mind-boggling (mahynd-bog-ling)

adjective Slang

intellectually overwhelming: a mind-boggling puzzle.
emotionally or psychologically overwhelming; mind-blowing.

Synonyms: amazing, astonishing, breathtaking, eye-opening, mind-blowing, spectacular, staggering, startling, stunning, stupendous, surprising, wonderful

I stand corrected - Titanium vs. Lava

2009-12-04T21:17:00.003-05:00

My kids talk about hot lava all of the time. They plan games where they are avoiding imaginary hot lava, they threaten to burn each other with hot lava and ask me way too many questions about hot lava. I am sick of hearing about hot lava, even my friends are sick of hearing about hot lava. The most recent debate is a scientific question. I'd like to use my blog to publish my "findings" on this subject.

Andrew believes Titanium is the strongest thing in the universe, second only to God. As such he is convinced titanium is impervious to hot lava. I was certain that hot lava would win this match-up, I stand corrected. Hot Lava would NOT melt Titanium. I should have known better than to argue a scientific point with Andrew.

Titanium vs. Lava – Titanium wins!

How hot is lava?
Lava is extremely hot. Lava can reach temperatures of about 1,250° Celsius. The lava of the Hawaiian volcanoes reach these temperatures. Normal lava temperatures reach 750° Celsius. That is still much hotter than your oven is capable of reaching.

Titanium has a high melting point of 3135°F (1725°C). This melting point is approximately 400°F (220°C) above the melting point of steel and approximately 2000°F (1100°C) above that of aluminum.

How did I not know about the awkward turtle?

2009-12-04T01:20:00.001-05:00

I like to think of myself as "in the loop". From time to time I'm reminded I'm not. I had missed out on one of the most important movements in social psychology, the "Awkward Turtle". I did a little research from the most trusted sources, Urban Dictionary, Wikipedia AND YouTube. This gesture is omnipotent. Here are a few snippets:

Awkward Animals

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Awkward Animals are animal
gestures made to mark an awkward moment or silence. Depending on the situation, it is used to make the situation more awkward or clears the air. There are several awkward animals that exist like the awkward turtle, awkward cow, awkward turkey, and more. This whole awkward animal phase started out with the awkward turtle, hence it is the most common awkward animal used. As people got bored, they made up their own awkward animals until we have a list of outrageous random animals and things. For example, awkward llama, oyster, dragon, table, etc.

Awkward Turtle

The Awkward Turtle is done by placing one of your hands over the other with both palms facing down, sticking your thumbs outward, and rotating both of your thumbs forward in a circular motion. The speed of the rotation reflects on the degree of awkwardness. This gesture is performed after something awkward has just happened or when there is an awkward silence. When someone makes the awkward turtle gesture, the goal of all others involved in the awkward moment is to be the first to make their own turtle gesture and hump the original turtle before any other players can. Within the last two years or so, the awkward turtle has become very popular among high school and college students. Facebook now has more than 500 groups of "awkward turtle" devotees, the largest with more than 27,000 members. But how it started is anyone's guess. Rumors suggest that it originated in the sign language term for "turtle" or "sea turtle." Not true, says Donna E. Gustina, an American Sign Language expert at the National Technical Institute for the Deaf in Rochester, N.Y.. "The hand signal that you see used for the expression 'awkward turtle' is the same as the sign in ASL for platypus." Deaf students at the institute had not heard of the "awkward turtle."

Other Awkward Animals

Various other awkward animals such as the Sexual Tension Squid, the Awkward Humping Starfish, the Sexual Tension Starfish, the Rejection Squid Hi-five and the Monster also exist. There are various other hand gestures used to signify each. There is no specific usage for each, but they most commonly occur in any awkward moment or situation.

Urban Dictionary shows awkward turtle entries as early as September 2005.

1. awkward turtle

May 29, 2007 Urban Word of the Day

buy awkward turtle mugs, tshirts and magnets

The animal mascot of the awkward moment.

When you're in an awkward moment, place your hands on top of each other, and spin your thumbs forward. Thus creating the creature know as awkward turtle.

Oh my god, so I was talking to Becky about STDs and I forgot she had syphillis... it was mad awkward turtle

by Final Attempt Sep 6, 2005

Some may deem the awkward turtle immature or for the high school crowd. I say NO, this little phenomenon should find its place in everyday vernacular.

Favorite Website of the Day - http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

2009-12-03T17:57:00.001-05:00

Who hasn't been guilty of a little passive aggressive behavior? If you did so in a note, be afraid be very afraid!

My favorite blog MakeUseof.com has surfaced another great site, PassiveAggressivenotes.com. "This site portrays pictures of interesting notes submitted by the readers. Most of the notes are hilarious, while some are quite interesting. The humor comes from the sarcasm in the notes where people are politely asked to apply common sense."

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Here is a glimpse of the great stuff you'll find on this site:

waiting for the rapture (and/or a thank you note)

November 5th, 2009 · 157 comments

Writes Ben in Snohomish, Washington: "We visit my aunt the same amount we visit the rest of our extended family, but for some reason she takes it personally that we don't do so daily. She took the occasion of my son's 11th birthday to take a shot at us."

An Open Letter to Beyonce

2009-12-01T21:36:00.003-05:00

Dear Beyonce,

Why don't you wear pants? I understand you are proud of your legs, I get it. That being said, have you considered a dress, a skirt, a pair of short or even short shorts? There is something disturbing about a grown woman prancing around in a leotard.

Is this the look you are going for?

Perhaps you should consider another stylist. I'm sure your mother could find work at House of Dereon. Hold the phone, oh right, she is already doing her "work" there. We can credit her for this fabulous look.

A quick Google Search of "Beyonce Leotard" returns 820,000. Pro/Con or indifferent I think Google is trying to tell you something.

PUT SOME PANTS ON!

Warmest Regards,

Holy Hot Mess!

I'm just sayin.... this is funny stuff

2009-12-01T00:03:00.000-05:00

Hey Target, this is funny stuff. I love the sister rocking the ornament earrings at the end. Nicely done!

Cyber Monday Deals

2009-11-30T08:25:00.001-05:00

I imagine I will pounding the pavement for deals Christmas Eve this year. Can't wait (yes that's sarcasm).
For those of you who are ready and able to shop today, don't forget about Cyber Monday (another invention of those zany marketing folks).

You can tons of websites that attempt to aggregate all the deals out there. One of the sites I've perused in the past is GottaDeal.com. This should help you find your coveted items.

This link will take you directly to the Cyber Monday Page: http://www.gottadeal.com/Deals/Category/cybermonday

Malapropism of the Moment – shrinking violet

2009-11-30T00:19:00.000-05:00

I love it when people mix up common turns of phrase. This is called Malapropism (thank you Christy). In the spirit of education, I have decided to share some of these nuggets on a recurring basis.

A malapropism (also called a Dogberryism or acyrologia) is the substitution of a word for a word with a similar sound, in which the resulting phrase makes no sense but often creates a comic effect. It is not the same as an eggcorn, which is a similar substitution in which the new phrase makes sense on some level. Occasionally, a phrase is substituted for the original, e.g. Stan Laurel said "What a terrible cat's after me!" (i.e., catastrophe) in Any Old Port!.

Malapropism of the Moment – shrinking violet

In honor of last night's booty shaking, I've decided to highlight Shrinking Violet.

Shrinking Violet NOT Shrieking Violet

Main Entry: shrinking violet Part of Speech:
noun
Definition: very shy person

Synonyms:

modest violet, mouse, retiring person, shy person, shy thing

Example – There wasn't a shrinking violet in the group. They shook their booty butts like it was going out of style.

Attention Hot Messes! Attention Hot Messes! PSA

2009-11-29T15:00:00.001-05:00

Attention Hot Messes! Attention Hot Messes!

This is a public service announcement....

If you would like to break ranks and leave the hot mess masses, there is hope (maybe).

Check out http://habitforge.com/#

Reasons I heart Chelsea Handler

2009-11-29T12:35:00.003-05:00

Reasons I heart Chelsea Handler

1. She takes issue with Beyonce's lack of pants

2. Her acerbic wit

3. She knows big words and isn't afraid to use them

4. She's bangin the boss

5. She employs a little person. I'm only 5'2" maybe she'll hire me!

6. Speidi, yeah she hates both of you

7. She can't wink

8. She writes best selling books

9. She hates camping

10. She has a funny blog -http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/chelsea/chelseaness/index.jsp?cid=chelseaness

11. This

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12. She has brought the phrase "hot mess" to the masses