Narcissists are evil: an outpost to expose everyday devils

So if he's a GOOD liar, don't believe " I have Asperger's" liNe

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 18:10:00 +0000

Autistic children are not good at covering up their lies: Queen's University study

Professor Beth Kelley and Ph.D. student Annie Li conduct 1 of the first scientific studies of lying and autism

Children with autism will tell white lies to protect other people's feelings and they are not very good at covering up their lies, according to a Queen's University study.
The study, conducted by psychology professor Beth Kelley and developmental psychology PhD student Annie Li, is one of the first scientific studies of lying and autism.
"The results are surprising because there is a notion that children with autism have difficulty appreciating the thoughts and feelings of other people, so we didn't expect them to lie to avoid saying things that may hurt others," says Dr. Kelley.
In one test, children with autism were told they were going to get a great gift, and were then handed a bar of soap. When asked if they liked their gift, most nodded or said yes instead of saying they were disappointed to get soap.

Researchers refer to this as pro-social lies told to maintain good relations with others.
In a second test, children were given audio clues and asked to guess a hidden object. Most guessed the easy clues, a chicken when they heard a chicken clucking — but an intentionally difficult clue (Christmas music and an Elmo doll) – was used as a test for lying.
After the Christmas music was played, the tester left the room. The tester returned and asked the children if they had peeked at the object. Both autistic and non- autistic children were equally likely to lie that they had not peeked. But when asked what they thought the object was, children without autism realized giving the correct answer would reveal they peeked so they were more likely to lie and say "Santa" or "Christmas tree."

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The study has been accepted for publication to Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders.
Kang Lee from the University of Toronto also took part in the study.

Education program developed for preventing antisocial behavior in 3-year-old children

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 16:49:00 +0000

This release is available in Spanish.

IMAGE: This is a session with the children.

Click here for more information.

University of Granada researchers have developed a pioneer intervention program aimed at 3 year-old children, that helps in preventing antisocial behavior in adulthood. In its first year of implementation, the program –named Aprender a convivir– achieved that 90% of participating children interacted more actively with their peers, and that 86% reduced symptoms such as anxiety/depression, somatization, poor emotional reactivity, shyness, and social isolation.
To carry out this study –funded by the Spanish Ministry of Education and Science–, the researchers took a sample of 131 children aged 3. The control group consisted of 53 subjects, and the experimental group was composed of 78. The later was trained with the program Aprender a convivir for 3 months and they were evaluated before and after the intervention.
The program was divided into four blocks with a duration of 3 weeks respectively. Two 1.5 hour-sessions were held per week. In the first half of the session, three puppets explained to the children the contents of the session. Then, different activities were developed in small groups.

More Independent Children

The results obtained revealed that the children having participated in the program Aprender a convivir were more independent, complied with established rules, shared their things, respected others' feelings, expressed their own, helped their peers and teachers, paid attention, apologized, thanked others and showed less aggressive/violent behavior, than those who had not participated in the program.

This research was conducted by María Fernández Cabezas, Department of Evolutionary and Education Psychology, University of Granada, and coordinated by professors Fernando Justicia Justicia, Carmen Pichardo Martínez and Trinidad García Berbén. However, it is a 5-year project aimed at studying the effects of training on social competences from early childhood for reducing behavior disorders.

Potential Improvement in Academic Performance
After their participation in the program Aprender a convivir, the percentage of children scoring high in Social Competence increased from 7.8% to 47.8%. As regards behavior disorders, the program reduced the percentage of children with this problem from 27.8% to 11.9%. In addition, 60% of participants experienced an improvement in their attention-deficit and hyperactivity, which will have a positive impact on their academic and learning performance.
After completion of this research, the authors of this study concluded that it is necessary that social and emotional education is provided in primary school in a systematic and rigorous way, and that the results obtained are assessed. "Therefore, it would be positive that this program was implemented in the future by primary teachers, and that the results obtained were extended to other environments such as families" –María Fernández Cabezas says.

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References: Benítez, J.L., Fernández, M., Justicia, F. Fernández de Haro, E. y Justicia, A. (en prensa). Results of the Aprender a Convivir Program for development of social competence and prevention of antisocial behavior in 4-year-old children. School Psychology International, nº13. Justicia, F., Benítez, J.L., Pichardo, M.C., Fernández, E., García, T. y Fernández, M. (2006). Aproximación a un modelo explicativo del comportamiento antisocial. Revista electrónica de Investigación Psicoeducativa, nº 9,vol 4 (2). Justicia Justicia, F., Benítez Muñoz, J.L., Fernández Cabezas, M., Fernández de Haro, E. y Pichardo Martínez, M.C. (2008). Aprender a convivir: programa de prevención do comportamento antisocial na educación infantil. Cadernos de psicoloxía, nº 32, 37- 47. ISSN: 0213-5973.
Contact: María Fernández Cabezas. Department of Evolutionary and Education Psychology, University of Granada. Telephone: +34 958 249 037. E-mail: mariafc@ugr.es
Accessible on English version
Accesible en Versión española
Accessible sur le site Version française

Narcissism is no excuse.

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 18:15:00 +0000

Holdout juror at Blagojevich trial explains vote

CHICAGO – The juror who was the lone holdout on some counts at former Ill. Gov. Rod Blagojevich's political corruption trial has said she had a responsibility to follow her conscience and that she stands by her vote.

In her first media interview since the trial ended, JoAnn Chiakulas told the Chicago Tribune that she found Blagojevich's recorded statements about allegedly selling Barack Obama's old senate seat so disorganized and scattered that his actions did not amount to a criminal conspiracy.
"I could never live with myself if I went along with the rest of the jury," Chiakulas told the Tribune.

"I thought he was narcissistic," she told the Tribune. "I thought he was all over the place. I thought he was just rambling."

____________________________________________________

Wow. I bet this woman has a few narcissists in her life and thinks the way they behave is due to narcissism, rather than the behavior just being a symptom of their maliciousness not a CAUSE. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not even a mental illness it is a DISORDER, in other words bad behavior chosen by a sane person.

Of course, when someone is full of themselves to the degree that Rod B is they act distracted and rambling, their speech disorders are well-documented. It's called trying to lie and speak CONvincingly at the same time.

This layperson' s opinion cannot set legal precedence, but it did set a narcissistic man free for now. Scary.

Book Review: GETTING IT THROUGH MY THICK SKULLMARY JO BUTTAFUOCO

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:33:00 +0000

My long overdue book rebview...

GETTING IT THROUGH MY THICK SKULL
MARY JO BUTTAFUOCO

With Julie McCarron

Where to start. I wanted to like this book and have tried to imagine scenarios that make this book "work." But I can't.  Mary Jo's book is just another repackaging of her tragic assault with a sprinkling of FAQs re: psychopaths.

For example, chapter five is titled "The Narcissist Next Door," play on Stout's "The Sociopath Next Door," and details Joey's showing off to neighbor's via the purchase of a luxury boat. It should also be noted she had to wait to write about her experience because as part of her bankruptcy stipulations she could not have any TV/Book deals in the works if she was filing.

And as much as I want to excuse her behavior, multiple TV appearances including one in which she agreed to be part of "reunion special" with Amy and Joey - I can't. I can't because every other page, it seemed as if, I was reading of Mary Jo's apparent disgust in Joey's TV appearances, but acquiescence because she gets another chance to travel.  

As I have learned, we can only judge people by what they do- and Mary Jo has added insult to her own injury. And while it is completely understandable that she may acting out under the effects of PTSD, it is imperative survivors pf psychopaths not look to her as a role model.

Though reading her book is a lesson. A lesson in what not to do or put up with. I write that not lightly or accusingly, but truthfully. To be fair, most lives looked at in hindsight could have been/should have been lived differently, but sadly Mary Jo repeats the same mistakes, self-defeating behaviors over and over.

From the beginning she acknowledges a pattern of drug abuse on her part and Joey's; this is important because it demonstrates the origins of most relationships with psychopaths: they start, as weeds do, in cracks. In cracks of our character, deficits we may or may not be responsible for.

A victim of narcissistic parent or parents is more susceptible to the lures of a psychopath for example, as is a drug addict and or alcoholic; at the beginning of their marriage, Mary Jo acknowledges abusing cocaine even though she had a child already. And I can understand her excusing this behavior, she committed it, but those who reccomend this book should not.

If I were a psychology student, (not just an amateur one!) I'd read this for insight into the behaviors of the victim, but I can't find much of a reason for victims of psychopaths to read this book. There are far better texts on identifying psychopaths and the tale is just more drama and drama is not something a victim in recovery needs.

What I have learned so far

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 17:33:00 +0000

My interest in or rather need for information about psychopaths, narcissists is ebbing. To be narcissistic....I think, I know I am well-schooled and have passed my residency with flying colors! And the behaviors that first hurt, then baffled, now just bore me.

I can spot them, narcissists, readily. My radar screen is clear, there is no internal interference- I no longer make excuses.

Excuses including:
-they are family
-they are ill
-they didn't mean it
-it's my fault
-I deserve it
-this will all change for the better
-they are in charge
-they are jealous
-they are lonely
-they are sad
-they are addicted
-they are exciting
and so on.

I know they choose what they do. And it does not matter the "why."

The "why" that matters is WHY would I, who is sane, waste anymore energy on these predators? What in me ever made me think abuse was love? What in me thinks insults and maindgames are okay at my expense?

They are not and only when I realized that if they (all of the abusers in my life) had not been abusive, I'd have a family and friends did I come to accept there was nothing for me to do.

There has never been anything for me to do, save extricate myself.
Abusers do not change. They will abuse you till you are dead and gone and then speak ill of your memory.

I always wanted family and friends, unfortunately I was born into a personality disordered household and made friends with folks just like them. It's not rocket science once you think it out and the solution is simple, but not easy.

Total disengagement. Finally I have peace.

Psychopaths and Suicide...another pity ploy.

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 17:31:00 +0000

I just read the recent piece on Lovefraud re: psychopaths and suicide. It is half-correct, if I dare say so. And Mr. Becker comes close to correct when he acknowledges that death row inmates get sympathy from some in society, but then he swerves into a discussion about psychos giving us all big F-U through a "suicide assisted via the state" and loses the trail. I am making a point of his mistake, in my mind, because psychopaths are lithe, slick creatures and can mislead everyone at some point, even after we know all about them.

Psychopaths don't want to die and to them the game is never over, ever. A death row inmate seeking death is playing the pity card. The I am so repentant and sorry "I want to die" card. That's it. I believe Bundy played it till the end.

*And it is almost funny Bundy is now used post-mortem to crusade against porn, as if porn alone drove him to murder. I do not underestimate the sin of pornography or it's very real power to objectify. BUT porn to Bundy was just fuel, for what HE was CHOOSING to do. And when well-meaning folks use Bundy to crusade against porn ( yes, it should be erradicated) they, unbeknwost to themselves, miss the true source of evil: EVIL FREELY CHOSEN. Bundy was a psychopath to the end and psychopathy should be what we discuss, not porn.

Time magazine:

The day before his execution, Bundy, choking back sobs, said, "I don't want to die, I kid you not, ((but)) I deserve, certainly, the most extreme punishment society has." He had seemed to deliberately seek that punishment. In December 1977, while jailed in Colorado awaiting trial for the murder of a nurse, Bundy asked policemen which state would be most likely to execute a killer. Florida, he was told. He soon escaped from jail and headed for the Sunshine State. There he crushed the skulls of two sorority sisters in their rooms at Florida State University. Three weeks later, he killed young Kimberly Leach.

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,956876,00.html#ixzz0pcodrOTL

Don't Menicate!

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 15:10:00 +0000

“ The idea of being in love will make the hopeless romantic fall in and out of love so many times within a lifetime they will be hopelessly devoted to the rebounds of love”. -Anonymous

Victims of psychopaths (I am convinced all malignant narcissists are psychopaths; the Internet's most infamous narcissist, Sam Vaknin, now claims the mantle of psychopath so my view is not unique.) want one or two things simultaneously usually: the psychopath back and/or the pain to stop. Even if they realized the psychopath is the cause of the pain they feel, they may fall into a rebound relationship or a "friends with benefits (FWB)" scenario to numb the pain. This is not at all unique, and seems to happen more often than not.

In other words even if they are not taking drugs (legal or illegal) and/or drinking- they MENICATE! Meaning: victims use a man to feel better. Problem is, if the man is sincere- they are using him; and, regardless of how much pain they are in, they are misrepresenting their motives. They cannot have a relationship now as they are in thrall to the narcissist as the very fact of their involvement demonstrates.

Getting into any sort of relationship too soon after the abuse, sets up the relationship to fail. For one healthy women never want FWB, so this arrangement will compound their loneliness and is akin to puring salt on a wound. Unhealthy women "just want to get laid" because they still have not learned that any attention is not better than none. And if you think about it, this "I just want to get laid mentality" is very close to that of the narcissist's need for supply at any cost.

Only by going no contact with their abuser and disengaging from menicating can women ever heal. No one, save God, can complete you and sadly ill-timed relationships only stall this realization. A life lead simply for awhile away from the drama of a sexual relationship, is key to experiencing what we truly long for: union.

And as that old adage goes- it's when you aren't looking, that loves comes along. I suspect it is because like attracts like, meaning: when we are actively looking we are desperate not full of love.

File under: Duh

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 13:49:00 +0000

Study points out risks of nonromantic sexual relationships

A University of Iowa study found that one-third of sexual relationships in the Chicago area lack exclusivity. One in 10 men and women reported that both they and their partner had slept with other people.

Lovers in "friends with benefits" situations or those "hooking up" with a stranger or acquaintance proved much more likely to have multiple partners, according to the survey of 783 heterosexual adults.

Researchers are interested in the topic because concurrent partnerships speed up the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, said Anthony Paik, a sociologist in the UI College of Liberal Arts and Sciences and author of the study published in the latest issue of the journal Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health.

"The United States has seen a major shift toward nonromantic sexual partnerships -- people becoming sexually involved when they are just casually dating or not dating at all," Paik said. "A quarter of the respondents became sexually involved while casually dating and a fifth did so as friends or acquaintances."

Respondents, ranging in age from 18 to 60, were asked how many people they had been with during their most recent relationship. They also estimated how many partners their partner had during that time. Sexual involvement was defined as genital contact.
Overall, 17 percent of men and 5 percent of women acknowledged that they had been with someone else. Another group -- 17 percent of women and 8 percent of men -- said they'd been exclusive but their partner had not. Twelve percent of women and 10 percent of men said neither of them had been monogamous.

Being involved with a friend increased the likelihood of non-monogamy by 44 percent for women and 25 percent for men. Involvement with an acquaintance or stranger increased the odds by 30 percent for women and 43 percent for men.

The study also found that respondents who got along with each other's parents were less likely to have multiple sex partners. Paik said people are less likely to risk a relationship when they take family stakeholders into consideration.

Paik said the research does not lead to the conclusion that efforts should be made to revive dating.

"People can make their own choices, but we hope this information will be useful as they weigh the risks and rewards of nonromantic sexual relationships," he said. "We encourage people be aware of the potential for sexual concurrency and take appropriate precautions to avoid sexually transmitted infections."
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The "Narcissist" wasn't a narcissist at all...

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 15:01:00 +0000

Reviewing the characeristics of narcissism I see- I was wrong all along!

Reacting to criticism with anger, shame or humiliation is justified! Having been accused (and caught!) of cheating, lying, gaslighting and abandonment so many times can make one angry!

Taking advantage of others to reach his or her own goals was misinterpreted, they were just climbing the social and corporate ladder!

Exaggerating their own importance- is self-empowerment...I was so deluded!

Exaggerating their own achievements and talents, nah- they are just better at self-talk than I am.

Entertains unrealistic fantasies about success, power, beauty, intelligence or romance ...just because I have nightmares (about them) I can't blame them for dreaming BIG!

Has unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment - what's that slogan..."expect the best!"

Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others, so what? Don't self-help books say "we teach people how to treat us!" Jeez.

Is easily jealous, now that is just plain wrong. Narcissists aren't jealous, no need to be- they get what they want one way or another!

Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy- who can take on the world?

Has obsessive self-interest, so do children! And who doesn't strive for a childlike outlook!

Pursues mainly selfish goals, so did Tom Edison and his selfish goals were called inventions! And he lit up the world!

April FOOLS!!!!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones and words forever scar me...

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 17:01:00 +0000

Do words hurt?
Psychologists of Jena University, Germany, show that verbal stimuli activate pain matrix
This release is available in German.

"Watch out, it'll hurt for a second." Not only children but also many adults get uneasy when they hear those words from their doctor. And, as soon as the needle touches their skin the piercing pain can be felt very clearly. "After such an experience it is enough to simply imagine a needle at the next vaccination appointment to activate our pain memory", knows Prof. Dr. Thomas Weiss from the Friedrich-Schiller-University Jena.

As the scientist and his team from the Dept. of Biological and Clinical Psychology could show in a study for the first time it is not only the painful memories and associations that set our pain memory on the alert. "Even verbal stimuli lead to reactions in certain areas of the brain", claims Prof. Weiss. As soon as we hear words like "tormenting", "gruelling" or "plaguing", exactly those areas in the brain are being activated which process the corresponding pain. The psychologists from Jena University were able to examine this phenomenon using functional magnetic resonance tomography (fMRT). In their study they investigated how healthy subjects process words associated with experiencing pain. In order to prevent reactions based on a plain negative affect the subjects were also confronted with negatively connotated words like "terrifying", "horrible" or "disgusting" besides the proper pain words.

"Subject performed two tasks", explains Maria Richter, doctoral candidate in Weiss's team. "In a first task, subjects were supposed to imagine situations which correspond to the words", the Jena psychologist says. In a second task, subjects were also reading the words but they were distracted by a brain-teaser. "In both cases we could observe a clear activation of the pain matrix in the brain by pain-associated words", Maria Richter states. Other negatively connotated words, however, do not activate those regions. Neither for neutrally nor for positively connotated words comparable activity patterns could be examined.
Can words intensify chronic pain?

"These findings show that words alone are capable of activating our pain matrix", underlines Prof. Weiss. To save painful experiences is of biological advantage since it allows us to avoid painful situations in the future which might be dangerous for our lives. "However, our results suggest as well that verbal stimuli have a more important meaning than we have thought so far." For the Jena psychologist the question remains open which role the verbal confrontation with pain plays for chronic pain patients. "They tend to speak a lot about their experiencing of pain to their physician or physiotherapist", Maria Richter says. It is possible that those conversations intensify the activity of the pain matrix in the brain and therefore intensify the pain experience. This is what the Jena psychologists want to clarify in another study.
And so far it won't do any harm not to talk too much about pain. Maybe then the next injection will be only half as painful.
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Original article:
Richter M, Eck J, Straube T, Miltner WHR, Weiss T. Do words hurt? Brain activation during explicit and implicit processing of pain words. Pain. 2010;148(2):198-205.

Pursuit of status and affection drives bullies' behavior

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:48:00 +0000

Bullying is common in classrooms around the world: About 15 percent of children are victimized, leading to depression, anxiety, loneliness, and other negative outcomes. What's driving bullies to behave the way they do? According to a new large-scale Dutch study, most bullies are motivated by the pursuit of status and affection.

The longitudinal study was conducted by researchers at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. It appears in the March/April 2010 issue of the journal Child Development.
In their work, the researchers questioned almost 500 elementary-school children ages 9 to 12. Based on their findings, they conclude that bullies generally choose to gain status by dominating their victims. But at the same time, they try to reduce the chances that they'll end up on the outs with other classmates by choosing as victims children who are weak and not well-liked by others. In short, even bullies care a lot about others' affection and don't want to lose it.
Gender also plays a role. For example, the study finds that at this age, bullies only care about not losing affection from classmates of their own gender. So when boys bully boys, it doesn't matter whether girls approve or disapprove. The same holds for girls. Moreover, boys will bully only those girls that aren't well liked by other boys, regardless of what girls think about it, and girls will do the same in their bullying of boys.

"To understand the complex nature of acceptance and rejection, it's necessary to distinguish the gender of the bully, the gender of the target, and the gender of the classmates who accept and reject bullies and victims," according to René Veenstra, professor of sociology at the University of Groningen, who led the study.
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Packing your troubles away actually works says new Rotman paper

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 15:37:00 +0000

In other words: pack it in! Throw it away- SHRED those bad memories!

Toronto, March 24, 2010 –Toronto –Finding it hard to get over a failed love interest? Just can't get details of a bad financial move out of your head?A new study from the Rotman School of Management suggests you might want to stick something related to your disappointment in a box or envelope if you want to feel better. In four separate experiments researchers found that the physical act of enclosing materials related to an unpleasant experience, such as a written recollection about it, improved people's negative feelings towards the event and created psychological closure. Enclosing materials unrelated to the experience did not work as well.

"If you tell people, 'You've got to move on,’ that doesn't work," said Dilip Soman, who holds the Corus Chair in Communication Strategy at the Rotman School and is also a professor of marketing, who co-wrote the paper with colleagues Xiuping Li from the National University of Singapore and Liyuan Wei from City University of Hong Kong.

"What works is when people enclose materials that are relevant to the negative memories they have. It works because people aren't trying to explicitly control their emotions."While the market implications might not be immediately obvious, Prof. Soman believes the findings point to new angles on such things as fast pick-up courier services and pre-paid mortgage deals that relieve people's sense of debt burden.

If people realize that the memory of past events or tasks can be distracting, perhaps there is a market for products and services that can enclose or take away memories of that task.The paper Is to be published in Psychological Science and is available online at http://www.rotman.utoronto.ca/newthinking/troubles.pdf .

Hot New Relationship Book Warns Women: 'Wake Up! He's ....

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:08:00 +0000

Hot New Relationship Book Warns Women: 'Wake Up! He's ....

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got"

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 16:14:00 +0000

Stop "doin' them!"

By them, I mean men. By "doin" I mean the deed- SEX. Yes, I am telling adult women to say no to sex outside of marriage. Why? Well, not because I am puritanical, Catholics enjoy sex A LOT, but because by avoiding sex outside of marriage you can weed out MANY not all psychopaths.
Most psychopaths will not wait for sex, they will either rape you or leave. Yes, they will be cheating all along, with or without sex, but by abstaining from sex your mind is clearer and the psychopath's motives are more easily deducted.

If you are not giving it to him, he'll have to be actively and relentlessly working for IT. And believe it or not, if someone really loves you- they will marry you. If someone loves you they will wait and want to make the sex part of a covenant between you two- not an act done by anyone for any reason.

Yes, women marry psychopaths and abstaining from sex is not a foolproof plan to avoid psychopaths, but it helps a lot. Thinking back- saying no to sex, saved my life- emotionally and physically. I have no STDs and never had to deal with a crisis pregnancy, but as it was a psychopath managed to devestate me- I cannot imagine the torment of those with diseases and/or fatherless children. Nor the sadness of those who had abortions due to psychopaths. Please see Project Rachel for help with abortion related trauma.

Just say no to sex with psychos! :)

Secondary Virginity
Q: How can I commit to secondary virginity?

A: I really admire those who make the choice to recommit to chastity after taking sex outside of marriage, because it's often just as hard to turn your life around as it is to stay chaste to begin with. Christ didn't condemn the woman who was accused of adultery; instead, he siad "Go and sin no more." Here are some practical tips for recommiting to chastity:

1. Make a list of a things that you've done that you regret doing (whether it was sex, the way that you've treated members of the opposite sex, clothing that you've worn, things that you've said etc). Go to confession!

2. Make a list of the reasons why you're waiting for your future spouse. Keep that list with you, and every time that you're tempted to go out and be in a situation where that temptation might arise, remind yourself of all the reasons why you're waiting.

3. Facing temptation: do something! Go for a run, play sports etc. Keep yourself busy

.4. Surround yourself with people who support your decision to commit to chastity. Good friends are invaluable in leading a clean life - true friends will challenge you to be the best person that you can possibly be.

Impulsive-Antisocial Personality Traits Linked to a Hypersensitive Brain Reward System

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:59:00 +0000

New Study Sheds Light on a Neurochemical Vulnerability that Could Contribute to Psychopathic Behaviors

Normal individuals who scored high on a measure of impulsive/antisocial traits display a hypersensitive brain reward system, according to a brain imaging study by researchers at Vanderbilt University. The findings provide the first evidence of differences in the brain’s reward system that may underlie vulnerability to what’s typically referred to as psychopathy.
The study in the current issue of the journal Nature Neuroscience was funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), a component of the National Institutes of Health.

Psychopathy is a personality disorder characterized by a combination of superficial charm, manipulative and antisocial behavior, sensation-seeking and impulsivity, blunted empathy and punishment sensitivity, and shallow emotional experiences. Psychopathy is a particularly robust predictor of criminal behavior and recidivism.

Since psychopathic individuals are at increased risk for developing substance use problems, the Vanderbilt team decided to investigate possible links between the brain’s reward system (activated by abused substances and natural reward), and a behavioral trait (impulsive/antisociality) characteristic of psychopathy. Researchers used two different technologies to measure the brain’s reward response.

In the first experiment, positron emission tomography (PET) was used to image the brain’s dopamine response in subjects who received a low oral dose of amphetamine. Dopamine is a brain chemical associated with reward and motivation.

In the second experiment, the same subjects participated in a game, in which they could make (or lose) money while their brains were being scanned using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).

The results in both cases show that individuals who scored high on a personality assessment that teases out traits like egocentricity, manipulating others, and risk taking had a hypersensitive dopamine response system. The picture that emerges from these high resolution PET and fMRI scans suggests that alterations in the function of the brain’s reward system may contribute to a latent psychopathic trait.

The researchers speculate that a heightened response to an anticipated reward could make such individuals less fearful about the consequences of their behavior, which, combined with a reduced sensitivity to others’ emotions and resistance to learning from mistakes, could lead to the manipulative and aggressive style of behaviors that is common in psychopaths.
The traits analyzed in this study have been previously shown to predict antisocial behavior and substance abuse in both incarcerated and community samples.

"By linking traits that suggest impulsivity and the potential for antisocial behavior to an overreactive dopamine system, this study helps explain why aggression may be as rewarding for some people as drugs are for others," said NIDA Director Dr. Nora Volkow. "However, while having an antisocial trait may be a driving factor, it is clearly not sufficient to trigger aggressive behaviors; thus, we need to continue to investigate the other contributors to psychopathy."
While the Vanderbilt researchers believe they’ve made an important first step showing that characterizations of psychopathic behavior are closely related to changes in brain activity, they hope to validate their findings with new studies on individuals who have been actually diagnosed as psychopaths.

"The amount of dopamine released was up to four times higher in people with high levels of these traits, compared to those who scored lower on the personality profile," says Joshua Buckholtz, doctoral candidate in neuroscience and the lead author of the study.
"Because of these exaggerated dopamine responses, individuals with a latent psychopathic trait may become focused on a chance to get a reward, and less able to shift their attention until they get what they're after. This pattern, along with other traits, could develop into psychopathic personality disorder."

Update on Nicky Skye

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:58:00 +0000

She's alive as of yesterday!

Ever wonder about your fellow posters online....

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 22:16:00 +0000

I do. Sometimes someone hints that "their narcissist" is famous, more like infamous, and one wonders. Is the poster a liar or not? Sometimes they are just looking for attention and are gone quickly when attention is not forthcoming. But sometimes....

I discovered Nicky Skye's writings through the old MSN narcissism forum- I have never met her online or in person. But I always wonder whatever happens when longstanding members leave.

Well, in Nicky's case I found out and WOW, is her tale interesting and heartbreaking.
I hope she is at peace today.
http://vickyward.com/wordpress/archives/20

The influence of a romantic breakup on self-concept

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:10:00 +0000

Research answers the question, 'Who am I without you?'

Los Angeles, CA (March 8, 2010) When a romantic relationship ends, an individual's self-concept is vulnerable to change, according to research in the February issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (published by SAGE).

Self-concept is defined as a person's sense of "me." Romantic partners develop shared friends, activities and even overlapping self-concepts.

Using three studies, the researchers examined self-concept changes that can occur after a breakup. They found that individuals have reduced self-concept clarity after a breakup. This reduced clarity can contribute to emotional distress. The loss of the relationship has multiple psychological consequences, including the tendency for individuals to change the content of their selves and the feeling that their selves are subjectively less clear and even smaller.

Finding that there is a prevalence of self-change experienced when a romantic relationship ends provides a testament to the power of loss that impacts one's sense of self.

"Not only may couples come to complete each others' sentences, they may actually come to complete each others' selves," write authors Erica B. Slotter, Wendi L. Gardner, and Eli J. Finkel. "When the relationship ends, individuals experience not only pain over the loss of the partner, but also changes in their selves. This research is the first to demonstrate the unique contribution of reduced self-concept clarity to the emotional distress that individuals experience post-breakup."

###
The article "Who Am I Without You? The Influence of Romantic Breakup on the Self-Concept" in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin is available free for a limited time at http://psp.sagepub.com/cgi/reprint/36/2/147.

Bullied for life.

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:09:00 +0000

"Nothing can prepare you for living or working with a sociopathic serial bully. It is the most devastating, draining, misunderstood, and ultimately futile experience imaginable."-Anon

I have been bullied since I was small. I recall being followed around the playground and having my name called in sing-song "Follow the yellow brick fill-in-my-name." When I was "lucky," I was left alone. For most of time in school, I hung out with the "losers" (decent, awkward kids) or stayed by myself. Like most victims, I didn't want anything from the abusers, just to be left alone.

Predators of course find the request to be left alone an affront, a taunt and worst of all a challenge. In seventh grade I recall a few occurences of bullying straight out of "Lord of the Flies:" in one instance I went out to have an ice cream during recess and turned around to find the ENTIRE cafeteria ( oh, over 300 children) had followed me out and surronded me, my attacker being first in my midst. Straight out of after-school special, I threw the first punch out of fear and hit the one "bad" girl who had stepped in to protect me. She was very nice and later secretly warned me of further attacks, but never left the bad gang. Another time, a supposed friend and I were walking home to go swim in her pool when suddenly she wanted to walk another way- apparently an ambush had been arranged by her and the "bad" gang. Next, someone placed "secret admirer" notes in my locker- one asked that I wear that ribbon in my hair on Wed. Guess what I did? Oh boy.

Then in high school, I was singled out to be spat upon by a fellow classmate in an all-girl Catholic high school. Thankfully I left a year later and had one year free of this bully, but then she transfered too and showed up in my new school. For some reason she ceased spitting, perhaps her behavior had started to cost her and that's why she left the other school.

College was an entirely different experience, one in which I learned the cost of ones beliefs. Try being conservative, Catholic and actively pro-life on a public university campus in a blue state; the student editor of the campus paper, in a front page article, called on the student body to spit on my pro-life group and beat us up. In follow up pieces, I was called "large" ( I am normal weight, by the way ) as if my personal appearance were newsworthy.

Moving onto professional life I have had peers suddenly dislike me when they learn I don't walk lock-step with their politics- though I am NOT left or right, I am Catholic. So I guess it's the fact some people cannot tolerate anyone different from them at all. That and evil, espouse the good and the evil attack. I do not even speak about controversial topics most anywhere, but home and on here. That's it. But my silence speaks. Fail to agree or laugh along, and your outted.

That's how No Contact takes ones power back from the bullies. They can have everything else, but your soul you know and that's what they want. Bullies want us broken, and when we're not it
cannot but cause them pain. Failing to break, is our greatest strength and what I have discovered attracts them and-based on the number of predators I ward off regularly- I must be pretty strong.

PS

What I have come to realize is that I cannot keep predators away- only at bay because I didn't cause it (their psychopathy) and I cannot cure it.

Interesting site for bullied academics- yes, it's rampant in the Ivy League.
http://bulliedacademics.blogspot.com/

Cyberbullying -- a growing problem

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:08:00 +0000

Around 10 percent of all adolescents in grades 7-9 are victims of internet bullying.
'This type of bullying can be more serious than conventional bullying. At least with conventional bullying the victim is left alone on evenings and weekends', says Ann Frisén, Professor of Psychology at the University of Gothenburg.

'Victims of internet bullying - or cyberbullying - have no refuge. Victims may be harassed continuously via SMS and websites, and the information spreads very quickly and may be difficult to remove. In addition, it is often difficult to identify the perpetrator.'

Ann Frisén's research concerns body image, identity development and different types of bullying among children and adolescents. She is also part of an EU network of researchers studying cyberbullying and is since 1 January the national coordinator of this type of research.

What is cyberbullying?
'Cyberbullying occurs when new technologies such as computers and mobile phones are used to harass or bully somebody. The perpetrators often use SMS, e-mail, chat rooms and Facebook to spread their message.' One example of this is the Facebook group 'Vi som hatar Stina Johansson' (Those of us who hate Stina Johansson).

'This Facebook group was very difficult to remove. It took Stina's parents almost one whole month', says Frisén.

A clear link to school life
Who are the victims? 'Around 10 percent of all adolescents in grades 7-9 are victims of cyberbullying. There is a clear connection to school life - it usually calms downs in the summer.
The perpetrator is almost always from the same school as the victim. 'It is a lot easier to be a perpetrator on the internet since it enables you to act anonymously. This also makes it possible for a weaker person to bully a stronger, which is uncommon in conventional bullying', says Frisén.

Blurring of boundaries is another important factor:
'In these contexts, people take liberties they normally wouldn't. For example, nobody would ever think of starting a magazine called "Those of us who hate Stina Johansson"'. So how can cyberbullying among children and adolescents be prevented?

Parents have an important role, according to Frisén:
'Adults shouldn't be so naive about what they put out about themselves on the internet, for example pictures. Kids get inspired by what adults do. In addition, it's good if parents show interest and ask their children to show them which sites they like to visit. But it's usually not a good idea to forbid them from visiting certain websites; they should instead teach them how to act when they are there.

'It is also important not to blame victimised children, since it's really not their fault. Our job is instead to help them end the harassment.' Frisén feels that people in Sweden generally are a bit naive when it comes to these issues:
'All school children in the UK are taught to "zip it, block it and flag it" - don't share information, block contacts and tell an adult!'

Share your experience with the shrinks!

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 05:37:00 +0000

The work group is recommending that this disorder be reforumulated as the Antisocial/Psychopathic Type.

Individuals who match this personality disorder type are arrogant and self-centered, and feel privileged and entitled. They have a grandiose, exaggerated sense of self-importance and they are primarily motivated by self-serving goals. They seek power over others and will manipulate, exploit, deceive, con, or otherwise take advantage of others, in order to inflict harm or to achieve their goals. They are callous and have little empathy for others’ needs or feelings unless they coincide with their own. They show disregard for the rights, property, or safety of others and experience little or no remorse or guilt if they cause any harm or injury to others. They may act aggressively or sadistically toward others in pursuit of their personal agendas and appear to derive pleasure or satisfaction from humiliating, demeaning dominating, or hurting others. They also have the capacity for superficial charm and ingratiation when it suits their purposes. They profess and demonstrate minimal investment in conventional moral principles and they tend to disavow responsibility for their actions and to blame others for their own failures and shortcomings.

Individuals with this personality type are temperamentally aggressive and have a high threshold for pleasurable excitement. They engage in reckless sensation-seeking behaviors, tend to act impulsively without fear or regard for consequences, and feel immune or invulnerable to adverse outcomes of their actions. Their emotional expression is mostly limited to irritability, anger, and hostility; acknowledgement and articulation of other emotions, such as love or anxiety, are rare. They have little insight into their motivations and are unable to consider alternative interpretations of their experiences.

Individuals with this disorder often engage in unlawful and criminal behavior and may abuse alcohol and drugs. Extremely pathological types may also commit acts of physical violence in order to intimidate, dominate, and control others. They may be generally unreliable or irresponsible about work obligations or financial commitments and often have problems with authority figures.

Instructions

A. Type rating. Rate the patient’s personality using the 5-point rating scale shown below. Circle the number that best describes the patient’s personality.

5 = Very Good Match: patient exemplifies this type

4 = Good Match: patient significantly resembles this type

3 = Moderate Match: patient has prominent features of this type

2 = Slight Match: patient has minor features of this type

1 = No Match: description does not apply

B. Trait ratings. Rate extent to which the following traits associated with the Antisocial/Psychopathic Type are descriptive of the patient using this four-point scale:

0 = Very little or not at all descriptive

1 = Mildly descriptive

2 = Moderately descriptive

3 = Extremely descriptive

1. Antagonism: Callousness

Lack of empathy or concern for others’ feelings or problems; lack of guilt or remorse about the negative or harmful effects of one’s actions on others; exploitativeness

2. Antagonism: Aggression

Being mean, cruel, or cold-hearted; verbally, relationally, or physically abusive; humiliating and demeaning of others; willingly and willfully engaging in acts of violence against persons and objects; active and open belligerence or vengefulness; using dominance and intimidation to control others

3. Antagonism: Manipulativeness

Use of cunning, craft, or subterfuge to influence or control others; casual use of others to one’s own advantage; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve one’s own end

4. Antagonism: Hostility

Irritability, hot temperedness; being unfriendly, rude, surly, or nasty; responding angrily to minor slights and insults

5. Antagonism: Deceitfulness

Dishonesty, untruthfulness; embellishment or fabrication when relating events; misrepresentation of self; fraudulence

6. Antagonism: Narcissism

Vanity, boastfulness, exaggeration of one’s achievements and abilities; self-centeredness; feeling and acting entitled, believing that one deserves only the best; preoccupation with having unlimited success, power, brilliance, and/or beauty

7. Disinhibition: Irresponsibility

Disregard for, or failure to honor, financial and other obligations or commitments; lack of respect and follow through on agreements and promises; unreliability; failure to keep appointments or to complete tasks or assignments; carelessness with own and/or others’ possessions

8. Disinhibition: Recklessness

Craving and pursuit of stimulation and variety without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and unplanned initiation of activities to counter boredom; unnecessary risk taking; lack of concern for ones limitations; denial of the reality of personal danger; high tolerance for uncertainty and unfamiliarity

9. Disinhibition: Impulsivity

Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; difficulty establishing and following plans; failure to learn from experience

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All you need is a shiny object to get over narcissists!

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 20:21:00 +0000

Novelty lures rats from cocaine-paired settings, hinting at new treatments for recovering addicts
Exciting new activities may help prevent relapse

WASHINGTON — The brain's innate interest in the new and different may help trump the power of addictive drugs, according to research published by the American Psychological Association. In controlled experiments, novelty drew cocaine-treated rats away from the place they got cocaine.

Novelty could help break the vicious cycle of treatment and relapse, especially for the many addicts with novelty-craving, risk-taking personalities, the authors said. Drug-linked settings hold particular sway over recovering addicts, which may account in part for high rates of relapse.
In the multi-stage study, Carmela Reichel, PhD, and Rick Bevins, PhD, of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, trained rats to prefer one side of a large Plexiglas apparatus by injecting them with one of three different doses of cocaine before placing them in that side. For the next eight days, the researchers alternated placing rats in one side or the other, injecting cocaine before placing them on one side, or injecting saline solution before placing them on the other.
This simple procedure left the rats, when drug free and given a choice, significantly more likely to visit the side where they had felt the rewarding effects of cocaine, according to the report in the February issue of Behavioral Neuroscience.

In the next stage, for another eight days, the researchers tried to break the tie between drug and place by introducing novelty. Now, when rats were placed into the saline-paired compartment, half found something new there -- a white sock, a little piece of PVC pipe, a plastic scouring pad or balled-up newspaper. The remaining rats were given the same bare compartment as before.

Next, the rats were injected with saline solution instead of cocaine and placed -- on alternate days – in either the side paired with cocaine or with novelty. That would be like recovering addicts going back to the place they took drugs, a major cause of relapse. Alternating placements helped researchers counteract rats' natural tendency to spend more time in unfamiliar places, and equalize the time they spent in each context.

Finally, to test whether novelty could still compete with drug-linked cues, drug-free rats were placed between compartments to see where they would go. Rats that had been trained on 7.5 and 20, but not 30, cocaine milligrams per kilogram (mg/kg) of weight and then given novel objects spent equal time on both sides. That is, they went back and forth between the places they had experienced both cocaine and novelty. Rats that did not receive the novel objects spent more time where they had experienced the effects of cocaine.

Drugged rats that had been trained on 7.5 mg/kg of cocaine and then given novel objects also gave both sides equal attention. However, rats that had been trained on 20 or 30 mg/kg of cocaine and then given novel objects still preferred the cocaine-paired over the novelty side.
Given the results of the drug-free tests, the findings suggested that employing something new and intriguing could work with drug-free, recovering addicts who are mild but not heavy users, the authors wrote.

In a second experiment, the researchers repeated the procedure with just one dose of cocaine, 10 mg/kg of weight, to test the effect's staying power one, 14 or 28 days after establishing the preference for the cocaine-paired side. Two weeks later, novelty still changed compartment choice for drug-free rats. Four weeks later, however, none of the rats showed a particular preference for either compartment.

"We identified a window of opportunity for conditioned rewards to compete for control over choice behavior," at least among rats, the authors wrote.

By understanding how long and how well novelty can compete with the allure of addicting drugs, researchers may start to consider using it in the real world. The human equivalent of new "toys" – such as scuba diving, mountain climbing, whitewater rafting and snow skiing -- could work as a behavioral reward. As the researchers pointed out, novelty does not involve medical treatment or side effects, and could be cheaper as well.

"Treatment programs implementing novel rewards targeted to those individuals that have high novelty/sensation seeking tendencies may offer addicts the opportunity (e.g., with vouchers) to participate in one of the activities mentioned previously in hopes of maintaining abstinence," wrote Reichel and Bevins.

###
Article: "Competition Between Novelty and Cocaine Conditioned Reward Is Sensitive to Drug Dose and Retention Interval;" Carmela M. Reichel, PhD, and Rick A. Bevins, PhD, University of Nebraska-Lincoln; Behavioral Neuroscience, Vol. 124, No. 1.
(Full text of the article is available from the APA Public Affairs Office and at http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bne-124-1-141.pdf)

__________________________________________________________

My title is in jest sort of. But seriously much of our pain and suffering is WITHDRAWAL. While we are a drug to them, narcissistic supply, narcissists represent to us what we thought could have been, an unfulfilled dream. And since the dream we were promised never became reality, when we are separated from the narcissist we aren't in much of a different state as when we were "with them" or continuing any sort of contact.

Without a radical transformation in our interests and objectives, think shiny novelties, we will remain "dry drunks."

Definition: A colloquial term generally used to describe someone who has stopped
drinking, but who still demonstrates the same alcoholic behaviors and
attitudes.

Victims remain stuck in the narcissists web regardless of contact status unless we work ourselves out. That work- is hobbies, education, employment, volunteering, anything but another addictive substance. Or a nice shiny mirror to bring the attention back on whom it belongs-US.

File under...duh

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:21:00 +0000

FECYT - Spanish Foundation for Science and Technology

Men feel less guilt
(So a male psychopath has not even a smidege of guilt!)

Although changing social and cultural contexts mean guilt has less power today than it once did, a new study has shown that in the West this emotion is "significantly higher" among women. The main problem, according to the experts, is not that women feel a lot of guilt (which they do), but rather that many males feel "too little".

"Our initial hypothesis was that feelings of guilt are more intense among females, not only among adolescents but also among young and adult women, and they also show the highest scores for interpersonal sensitivity", Itziar Etxebarria, lead author of the study and a researcher at the University of the Basque Country (UPV/EHU), tells SINC.

The research, published in the Spanish Journal of Psychology, was carried out using a sample from three age groups (156 teenagers, 96 young people and 108 adults) equally divided between males and females. The team of psychologists asked them what situations most often caused them to feel guilt. They also carried out interpersonal sensitivity tests – the Davis Empathetic Concern Scale, and a questionnaire on Interpersonal Guilt, created purposely for this study.
When it came to comparing the measurements of intensity of habitual guilt of these groups, the researchers saw that this score was significantly higher for women, in all three age groups. "This difference is particularly stark in the 40-50-year-old age group", points out Etxebarria.

The data also suggest that female teenagers and young women have higher scores than males of the same age. "This is caused by certain educational practices, which demand more of females, and which are sometimes still in use despite belief to the contrary", claims the scientist.
The authors also found gender differences – similar to those noted for habitual guilt – in the two indices of interpersonal sensitivity, although in the 40-50 age bracket the men's levels came closer to women's.

The interpersonal sensitivity of men (especially those aged between 25-33) is "comparatively low". The experts say a lack of sensitivity could lead to absence or excessive weakness of certain kinds of guilt, such as empathetic guilt, which could be beneficial for interpersonal relationships and for the individual.

Types of guilt
The most common forms of guilt are related to situations where we cause harm to others. Stemming from this, it is normal that this arouses feelings of empathy for the people we may have harmed, which tend to turn into feelings of guilt when we recognise that we are responsible for their suffering.

A previous study, also headed by Itziar Etxebarria, analyses people's experiences of guilt, differentiating two components – one of these being empathetic (sorrow for the person we have harmed in some way) and the other anxious-aggressive (unease and contained aggression).
The anxious-aggressive kind of guilt is more common in people who have been raised in a more blame-imposing environment, and who are governed by stricter rules about behaviour in general and aggression in particular. "It seems obvious that this component will be more intense among women, and especially in older women", says Etxebarria.

The greater presence of this component among women, above all those aged between 40 and 50, explains the marked differences in the intensity of habitual guilt in this age group, "just at the age when males move towards females in the two indices of interpersonal sensitivity analysed", she explains.

"Educational practices and a whole range of socialising agents must be used to reduce the trend towards anxious-aggressive guilt among women and to strengthen interpersonal sensitivity among men", concludes the researcher.

Emotional infidelity better or worse?

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:08:00 +0000

His or Hers Jealousy? Study Offers New Explanation for Sex Differences in Jealousy

When South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was caught red-handed returning from a tryst with his Argentine mistress last June, he told the Associated Press that he had met his “soul mate.” His choice of words seemed to suggest that having a deep emotional and spiritual connection with Maria Belen Chapur somehow made his sexual infidelity to his wife Jenny Sanford less tawdry.

What the two-timing governor didn’t understand is that most women view emotional infidelity as worse, not better, than sexual betrayal. This may explain why Hillary Clinton stayed with Bill Clinton and seemed unconcerned about his sexual affair with Monica Lewinsky. Research has documented that most men become much more jealous about sexual infidelity than they do about emotional infidelity. Women are the opposite, and this is true all over the world. The prevailing theory is that the difference has evolutionary origins: Men learned over eons to be hyper-vigilant about sex because they can never be absolutely certain they are the father of a child, while women are much more concerned about having a partner who is committed to raising a family.

New research now suggests an alternative explanation. The new study does not question the fundamental gender difference regarding jealousy—indeed it adds additional support for that difference. But the new science suggests that the difference may be rooted more in individual differences in personality that result from one’s relationship history but that can fall along gender lines.

Pennsylvania State University psychological scientists Kenneth Levy and Kristen Kelly doubted the prevailing evolutionary explanation because there is a conspicuous subset of men who like most women find emotional betrayal more distressing than sexual infidelity. Why would this be? The researchers suspected that it might have to do with trust and emotional attachment. Some people—men and women alike—are more secure in their attachments to others, while others tend to be more dismissive of the need for close attachment relationships. Psychologists see this compulsive self-reliance as a defensive strategy—protection against deep-seated feelings of vulnerability. Levy and Kelly hypothesized that these individuals would tend to be concerned with the sexual aspects of relationships rather than emotional intimacy.

Similar to earlier studies examining sex differences in jealousy, Levy and Kelly asked men and women which they would find more distressing—sexual infidelity or emotional infidelity. Participants also completed additional assessments including a standard and well validated measure of attachment style in romantic relationships. Findings confirmed the scientists’ hypotheses. As Levy & Kelly report in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, those with a dismissing attachment style— who prize their autonomy in relationships over commitment—were much more upset about sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity. And conversely, those securely attached in relationships—including securely attached men—were much more likely to find emotional betrayal more upsetting.

The scientists state that these findings imply that the psychological and cultural-environmental mechanisms underlying sex differences in jealousy may have greater roles than previously recognized and suggest that jealousy is more multiply determined than previously hypothesized.
Additionally, placing jealousy within an attachment theoretical perspective, highlights the value of a taking a more nuanced approach relative to earlier research, points to new research possibilities, and suggests that promoting secure attachment may be an effective means of reducing the kind of sexual jealousy that contributes to domestic violence.

"Getting it through my thick skull..."

noreply@blogger.com (Holy Water Salt) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 21:22:00 +0000

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