tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-112889112009-11-08T12:57:49.804-05:00Mostly facts. Some hazy recollections. A few downright fabrications. And I'm not even a journalist.Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02657032956798346089holyjuan@gmail.comBlogger1079125Holyjuanhttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11288911.post-76801781182536471192009-11-07T10:20:00.002-05:002009-11-07T10:23:20.361-05:002009-11-07T10:23:20.361-05:00

By request in response to the comments from The Baconizer

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I met Eddie Goldstein in Denver back in 1995. He's a magician and a trickster. A friend and a sonofabitch. My company is smart enough not to send me to very many conferences as I might do something that would reflect poorly upon our institution. Every year that I do not go to the big yearly conference, I ask my co-workers to say hello to Eddie for me.This year, someone went to the conference

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The Outland (at least I thought it was the Outland) has re-opened and I went on Saturday night to check it out. We were wrapping up our night at the HighBall and our friends were scattering to different bars/clubs. As several opportunities opened up, John turned to me and said, “Let’s go to the Outland.” I repeated, “Let’s go to the Outland.”Here is the history of the Outland via Columbus

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The Outland is reopening for the third time since I started going back in 1999. Check out this article in Columbus Alive.The Outland is a wonderful goth bar with dancing, torture and a rum and coke that will kill cancer. It's open until 4:00am and offers some of the best people watching in town. Though the best part is that you can dance as poorly as I do and no one gives a shit. I love that

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Your relationship has been dragging and you know that it might soon be over. You throw everything you have into keeping it together, but something just isn’t right. Here are a few ways to know when a relationship is done for:1. They aren’t at home anymoreIf you wake up and your lover is not there, it might be because they got up early to go to work and get the McGruder project back on track.

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I look at women's boobs. It is a built in, DNA programmed reflex and I'm done fighting it. Knowing that guys will stare at a woman's chest, I thought it best that we make the most of it. So I created the Edtitcational Shirt Series: math and scientific formulas printed on t-shirts so that guys can learn while they yearn.The Quadratic Equation Pythagorean IdentityClick on a photo to order or go

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The CDC has published updated guidelines for avoiding the H1N1. In order to keep yourself and your loved ones healthy, you'll need to do the following:1. Continue and increase all ingestion of bacon, ham, pork loin, sausage and pork rinds (except for Canadian Bacon - no one really knows what's in that, anyhow). Increasing your consumption will additionally help stave off the insidious effects

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This policy is valid from 26 October 2009 This website is a personal website written and edited by me. For questions about this website, please contact holyjuan@gmail.com. This website accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation. The compensation received will never influence the content, topics or posts made in this website. All advertising is

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Greg has been asking about the circus. Really he means the Fairfield County Fair and he usually corrects himself right after the word circus comes out of his mouth. He and I have a lot in common with our word selection except that instead of circus I accidentally say boobs. Greg’s been asking about the circus Fairfield County Fair so that he can get another goldfish. So on Wednesday, still

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COLUMBUS OH (HJ) – Rex Mullins is in his garage, wedged under a large, egg shaped metal contraption, tracing wires and looking for the short that was created during the last test run. “Got it!” He asks me to hand him a red spool of wire and some wire cutters. He remarks, “This will be so much easier for the past me to build this once I hand myself the instructions six years ago!”Rex is

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This is a scan of a letter that we received at work via fax. I have covered up the bits that would reveal the name of the lunatic that wrote it. I mean, you'd have to be crazy to send this letter out in its current format.(Sorry, I cannot size this photo correctly so you can squint to read it or click on it to get a HUGE version.)

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On Twitter this morning, oxcartkarma said:So I replied:

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This is the label from the specimen container which I turned over to my Urologist. It was four weeks after my vasectomy and they were checking to see if there were any swimmers left.He's a Urologist so I assume he has a sense of humor.

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My friend Lia got published in Columbus' own, 614 Magazine.Check her article out here (http://614columbus.com/magazine/10-01-2009/on-the-death-of-post-modernism).

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http://www.homestarrunner.com/ween_stencils.html

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Making your own Bible can not only be satisfying; it can guarantee your entry ticket into heaven or whatever afterlife you create! Follow these simple steps to make your own physical manifestation of your deity’s (deities’) words.Rule One: ParadoxesThe only way your Bible can be successful is if it cannot be disproved. The only way to make sure this can’t happen is to build a few logical dead

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Nothing is free. Especially not fingerprinting for your child by Western-Southern Financial Group. You might see them at local festivals or fairs advertising that they will provide a free ID for your child. Sounds great, right?Basically this is a scam to sell life insurance. From their website: “YES! I’d like to receive a free Child ID Card for my child(ren). I understand that an agent will

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@athikerpickle got a check from the Washington Gas Light Company for $0.01. One measly cent.They sent it in the mail which cost $0.44. They also processed the check which probably cost a few cents as well. If you think about the trees cut to make the paper and the chemicals to make the magnetic ink and carbon footprint of the processing; this check for one cent put a hole is the ozone the size

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It pays to be a Columbus Celebrity.

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Drudge is awesome. He's awesome because I am talking about him. He's awesome because he can pretty much headline what he wants and it becomes a talking point. He's brilliant. But he's also a douchebag.For instance his article from 9/25/09:The article that it links to (sometimes his headlines don't link to anything so this is a bonus) states:"White House officials said Western intelligence

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Just like you, I am on Facebook. And also just like you, I have stupid friends who leave inane status updates that I would love to reply to and cannot because we probably wouldn’t be friends anymore. Maybe that would be a good thing. Here is a list of things I have not said on Facebook. I am too short to ride your emotional roller coaster.Your cause sucks.No. You are not anything like any of

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I am a grocery store stereotypist. When I am heading for the line, I look for a few clues that get me though the line quicker. Sometimes I make assumptions. Usually I am right and in the parking lot while you are still counting your change at the self checkout line. 1. The longest line isn’t always the longestJust because a line is further back than the rest does not essentially mean it will

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