It’s almost like  a yawn/sigh.

A cross between “I’m kinda bummed….” and “Where do I even start?”….with a little “What am I doing?”

Yep…that’s what it feels like sometimes to be a work at home mom. It’s scary, frustrating, elating and exhausting. And there are days where you think it all might swallow you up because you’re just this tiny entity out there trying to find your way and grab your piece of the pie.

Having a home business or working at home can feel a bit isolating too. Who exactly do you go to when something screws up? What department do you call when you have a tax or payroll question? What’s the extension for the IT guy when you have a computer problem? Yep…..it’s you.

There have been many times over the past 8 years that I have just said…..I quit. I push my chair away from my computer desk or I slam my laptop shut and just walk away. How many all-nighters and obstacles and learning curves does one person have to endure to actually make it on their own??

A lot.
And there will always be more. (Please don’t kill the messenger! But it’s true!)

I don’t really believe in over night sensations on the internet. Not as far as a “mom” website, blog or home business go. It’s little steps….little achievements. Each one building on the other. And it’s hard to gauge these little accomplishments with your head down and working like a crazy woman. But it’s happening.

There is no co-worker or boss to pat you on the back…..and that can be hard. So give yourself credit. Even when you feel you’ll never figure out HTML, widgets, SEO……or whatever - just stop….and take stock in what you have figured out. Heck….even if you just figured out HOW to buy a domain name - and picked a domain name today - that is still a step. A step in the direction of your OWN dream.

MoneyMakingMommy.com was never an over-night success. I have a lot of women email me and say…..”I want to do what you do…..” Or…..”How do I get started…..how do I get traffic…..how do I figure out what to write about….talk about…..sell…..”   ETC

I don’t hold a “magic” answer. There has been nothing easy about this path I’ve been on. I still feel small sometimes - like I haven’t gotten to where I ultimately want to be. And it’s not about money or hitting some kind of income goal….
it’s about self-satisfaction.

Did I really offer anything of help today? Did a single person out there garner anything…even a smile, from something I passed along? If not? I ask…..”How can I do better…..” What path do I take tomorrow?

Every day I am learning something about me…..and something about the lives I touch. It guides me, inspires me - and I pull myself back up to my computer desk and try again. Not everything I’ve done or gone through the trouble of learning has been a success. But I have no regrets - because every experience has a lesson in it.

And if it had ever been just about money - I would have quit for good a long time ago and just gone back to radio. I’ve been knocked down a lot out here on the internet. I’ve looked at other sites, and seen others successes and started to try and measure up - or cut myself down for NOT measuring up in my eyes. Those are the times that lead me off track the most. I allow myself to feel small.

In the grand scheme - maybe we are all tiny - but I’m not trying to be everything to everybody. And neither should you. That’s impossible. You will feel so burdened and burnt out - you’ll set yourself up for failure from the get-go.

So take a step…
Find what you like….
This is what happened for me. I LOVE to write. I LOVE computers. I LOVE researching. I LOVE connecting with people over a common interest (That’s what I did on the air in radio for years!)
So…to this day….that’s my passion. I love it. It doesn’t get old for me. If you hate to write, hate computers, hate great big books that teach you about FrontPage or Dreamweaver……or have no desire to learn about search engine optimization….maybe this isn’t for you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t work at home or have a home based business - it just means…..your path is different than mine. So what?

Start with your heart in the right place….and take the first step. You cannot go wrong.

Author: Kelly Land lives in Weaverville, NC with her husband, two kids, two cats and dog.  She owns the popular, award winning work at home website, www.MoneyMakingMommy.com. She loves writing, gardening, playing guitar and seeking out the “real” deal in life - and then pushing her opinion (in a nice way) about it on others….hence, her blog www.HomeBasedBusinessMom.com.

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It takes as much willpower to not go out and play in the Summer as it does to not eat the Krispy Kreme donut that you know will go straight to your hips! (Yep…I’ve tested this theory too many times….it always goes to your butt, gut or hips!)

So what do you do? Working at home is hard enough without the added temptation of great weather.

And then there are the kidlets.

My kids are both school age - so with Summer vacation, they are home. Yes - they do camps and have friends over - but for the most part they are here. I don’t want their summer to suck because I have to work. But I DO have to work.
(And so do you…..)

I guess the biggest favor you can do yourself is buy a laptop. I find that having a rugged laptop and case to carry it around in has made a lot of difference for me. Even if I don’t have internet access - I can still work on blog posts, answer emails that I can save as drafts and work on my weekly newsletter. And if I am somewhere with WIFI -well, I can get a lot do using GoToMyPC. This has been such a helpful tool for me.

For a long time….I thought it was kinda silly. Refused to use something that “connected” me to my home computer. I’d have to leave the home computer on, and was it really secure to use GoToMyPC? I was just not digging it.

OH but now….I’d be lost without it.

So having the laptop opens me up to work at the pool, at Fun Depot, at the park…..heck…I can work when the kids are playing paintball if I want. I’ve used my laptop when I’ve been in the pick-up line after school for the kids.

But if you don’t have a laptop - remember - trusty pen and paper are good tools to have on hand. Also - though it sounds silly - good magazines and newspapers. Just reading them can help give you ideas if you’re a blogger or writer.

If you run a direct sales business - having a handy dandy iPhone or Blackberry can work magic for you. You can make lists, update your calendars, connect to the internet, make calls, send emails…..

So together - we can work….and we can have fun in the sun! We don’t have to miss Summer and all the playing!

But….we do have to say NO to that Krispy Kreme donut.

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I try to stay positive - as I invest more and more money into this house I am hoping to leave.
Nothing against this house….it’s stunning. The yard is stunning…..it’s like living in a little utopia. This is probably the nicest house we’ll ever live in.  BUT - for us….we like the idea of moving around….new places…new adventures.  It’s hard when you feel “stuck”. In any situation….that’s tough.

But when does “stuck” become - GLUED?

When do you say enough? When do you say…..”The real estate market sucks.” Even in an area where it doesn’t suck “as bad” - it sucks.
Is there a time limit? Is there an insanity limit? How about a “house for sale” conversation limit?? I don’t know about you other sellers in the Asheville / Weaverville area - but I’m getting tired of talking about “houses not selling” in this area. Aren’t you? That nail has been driven, pounded and cemented. We get it….but we can’t help ourselves. Somehow talking about this bummer helps ease our pain - but eventually it gets old - no matter which way you analyze it.

So…on the bright side - what is selling?? You lucky folks in the $250,000 or less selling range - you’ve got a chance. If you’re under $200,000 - even better. If you’re over $250,000 - and especially if you’re over $300,000…..you can hear the crickets chirping. It’s quiet. Almost no showings…..or absolutely no showings…..or worse….Buyers that want you to lasso the moon and hang it from the nearest mountain crest for them to view whenever they like. Hey Buyers…I’ve got a MOON for you!

And speaking of these fussy, want-it-all buyers - weren’t most of you in the very same situation us sellers were in not so long ago? Now your real estate poopy doesn’t stink because you’re no longer a seller? I’m afraid not….you STILL stink with your high and mighty attitude and low-ball offers. We can smell you a mile away!

So what to do?

Stinky Buyers. Bummed out Sellers.

When do we say Uncle and either take our home off the market or literally…..GIVE IT AWAY?

I guess that’s an individual decision. How much can you stomach? How many more times can you clean your house to museum quality, only to have the Realtor and clients no-show or give feedback that doesn’t result in an offer? How much more money can you invest in a home that you want to leave, or think maybe you should stay in now because you’ve invested so much money?? (I’m getting a headache!)

What is your situation?

Do you HAVE to sell? Maybe for a job…..or another life-changing reason? For you sellers - maybe it’s best to just bottom out the price and move on with your lives. It’s tough. Beyond tough.

Those of you waiting for help from the government…or think the government is going to “stimulus-us” back into a “good” economy and wonderful, thriving real estate market again….Oh wow. All I can say is “Wow”. That’s delusional. The government, in all it’s wisdom is tying an anchor around our necks, our children’s necks and our grandchildren’s necks. Hope you know how to hold your breath and dog paddle.

So the REAL real estate deal in the Asheville / Weaverville NC area.
What is it?

What is the proper adjective? The politically correct statement? The positive spin?

I come to a prognosis immediately.

Sucky at best.

Yep….that’s what I would say. I should know….I’ve been trying to sell my home in this area for three years. I think that qualifies me as an expert.

Author: Kelly Land lives in Weaverville, NC with her husband, two kids, two cats and dog.  She owns the popular, award winning work at home website, www.MoneyMakingMommy.com. She loves writing, gardening, playing guitar and seeking out the “real” deal in life - and then pushing her opinion (in a nice way) about it on others….hence, her blog www.HomeBasedBusinessMom.com.

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I just want to touch on the topic of being a mom and how it kinda forces us to *let go* of who we were pre-kids.

Now before you scream….”Hey….having kids has made me a better person!” And “My life would have no meaning with out my kids….”

Yes - yes - of course. I feel the same way.

But in recent discussions and emails - I have come to find out that many of us, secretly….miss our BK (before kid) selves. Maybe it was the hips without stretch marks we miss. Maybe that sounds trivial, but damn….those were nice, flawless hips. YES - I got a baby out of it. YES….I grew a person inside of me and witnessed the miracle of birth…..
But - seriously…..FLAWLESS - no stretch-marked hips, tummies, boobs?? Doesn’t that deserve at least an “Amen”?

AMEN.

Alrighty then…

For some of us….it might not be the physical attributes we miss…..maybe it’s the time we used to have to ourselves. That doesn’t make us selfish. EVERYONE needs time to themselves. It’s not a crime.

Maybe it was the peace and quiet we miss?

Maybe it was the ability to just walk out the door at a moments notice to catch a movie with a friend. Or even take a weekend trip.

None of these longings for the BK days makes any of us a bad person. We’re human.

I love my kids. No…wait….I LOVE my kids. But with summer break upon me….and the kids out of school and already breathing down my neck….I feel ok with saying…..”I miss me.” Just ever so quietly I whisper…..”I miss you Kelly…..the before you were married and had kids Kelly. You were funny, you were spontaneous, you were young, you were pretty….”

Now…I typed that and then I sat back in my chair….
I read it. And re-read it. I thought….do I sound bitter? Melancholy?

No. I sound like a woman that’s living her life. Looking forward to tomorrow, but reflecting on the past. Isn’t that what makes us the person we are? Isn’t that the JOURNEY of life?

My life is good. I don’t want to be 16 again. I wouldn’t change my past. Not a minute of it. Because you know what….I’m still funny, spontaneous, young and pretty. That person is still
a part of me. She’s the one that laughed until she cried on the couch today with her two kids watching “Adventures in Babysitting” and having a popcorn fight and being farted on by our huge Labrador that wanted in on the fun! She’s the one that decided to hop in the car tonight and go get some ice cream. She’s the one that is ONLY 42, in the prime of her life. She’s the one with wrinkles and some gray hair - but still sees the “beauty” in her uniqueness and her contribution to the world when she looks at her children.

It dawns on me…
These kids…
These very people that take, take, take so much of us - wow…..what they give back, and what they replace in us….
It’s magical. It’s nourishing. It’s fulfilling.

So I guess… what I meant by the title of this post was….our “former selves” are meant to be lonely. It’s ok. We don’t really want to be that person again. That person doesn’t hold a candle to who we are now. But it’s ok to stop a moment and say hello to that “former you” in the shadows of who YOU are today. That person is meant to be missed and acknowledged. How do we learn, grow and discover if we don’t say hello to that person and all they’ve shown us through the years?

And those kids? The ones breathing down our necks this summer??

In their eyes….. and in their memories….the little timeless, ageless snippets of their childhood that they will hold on to forever…..we will always be pretty, young, spontaneous and funny.
—
Be sure to share this post or your comments below! I want to know what you’re thinking RIGHT now! - Kelly

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I’ve gotten a lot of emails lately asking me about my GERD and how I’m doing. Thanks to everyone concerned.

I have to say….I’m better. Much better. Cured? I don’t know?

I’m on my last month of Prevacid Sol-U-Tabs. (The only thing that worked for me!)

I haven’t had another nighttime choking spell (unable to breathe for over 45 seconds!) since that one episode in November 2007. Thank goodness. I still get a little anxiety from that. I am sure that’s normal. I mean, come on - to those of you who have never had the nightmare of being unable to breathe - it’s scary as all get out!

Looking back - at it’s worst - the chest pain, trips to the ER, anxiety, choking….I see that my stress level and my weight were key factors. I’ve never been HUGE. But I carried 10 extra pounds per baby - so an extra 20 pounds by 2005. At my highest I was 155! I am only 5′4″ - so that’s a lot of extra weight for me. I weighed about 132 when I got married. I’ve never been a rail thin person…..so 132 was perfect for me.

I’m down to 145 and still working on getting to at least 138. Those are a stubborn 7 pounds!

My work was very stressful in 2007 and I was still reeling from my Dad’s early death at 58, my Mom’s second bout of breast cancer, my daughter being bitten in the face by a dog and needing plastic surgery, my websites crashing without back-ups, my dog I’d had for 16 years having to be put down, a lot of debt, packing and moving to a new house and location that I absolutely hated (but have since learned to love and look at it now as a blessing!)….

It was a lot. My stress and extra weight manifested physically as GERD. I’ve always been a pretty laid back person - Type A - but still laid back…..weird, I know?!

Today I continue to work on losing weight, I do yoga and meditate. I go for walks and try to not work late even though I run my own business. I’m learning to let stuff just roll off my shoulders and not internalize it. I eat a lot more organic foods and have gone back to using meat only as a condiment. Not a total vegetarian like I was for 15 years, but also not a full fledged meat eater like I was in 2007 either.

I eat lots of oatmeal, salads and fresh fruit. I eat brown rice too. I’m learning to eat salmon more…but ugh, I really don’t like it. But I have eaten it a little bit. I eat tuna as well.

I’m learning to listen to my body and treat my body like it’s the only one I’ve got (because it is!)
I’m learning that I am a person that can’t stuff my feelings down my throat and suck it up all the time. That might work for some, but for me - it goes against everything I am. And after 38 years of doing it….the damn broke - and I just needed to voice my opinion about things and express how I felt about it.

I was the type of person that listened to everyone’s problems, I was their clown, their confidant, their escape. But when it came time for me to lean on someone…..I was answered with…”What’s your problem?” Or…”Why are you so grouchy?” They wanted their “funny Kelly”, their “laid back Kelly”. Well…that Kelly was exhausted from one way friendships and not having any support in return. I wish, now at 42 - I had seen all this as it was going down - but I wanted so much to PLEASE and be everything to everyone. PEOPLE - this WILL suck the ever-lovin life right out of you! I promise.

So I lean on my husband a little more, some friendships are over - they were draining and I had to walk away. I have new friendships - which was hard for me at first. I’m outgoing - but I’m still a little shy right out of the gate.

I picked up a hobby I love besides gardening - it’s scrapbooking and rubber stamping. I love it. I even become a StampinUp Demonstrator because I love it so much.

I make time for my family. I try to walk away from my business on the weekends and NO computer or very minimal.

My advice….if you’re suffering from GERD….
Take a good, hard look at your life right now. Be honest.
Are you treating your body well? Are you over-weight? When was the last time you GAVE your body the exercise it wants and craves? What are you eating and drinking? Do you have a real support system around you? Real friends?

Try and find ways to relieve your stress. I know this sounds like asking you to perform brain surgery - because it was very hard for me. To just sit still for 10 minutes and do nothing was like asking me dive off a cliff. It was scary. Be ALONE with my own THOUGHTS?? Clear my mind and not keep it going at 100 mph?? It’s NOT easy.

I’ll be anxious to get my next “scope up the nose and down the throat” check done. Hopefully it doesn’t look like raw hamburger down there anymore from the acid.

I no longer have the constant cough after I eat, sore throat, constant chest pain, feeling asthmatic….

There was no overnight answer in my case. It took time, trial and error.

I go to a chiropractor now as well.  I think that is helping too.

So it’s a mix of things that have helped with my GERD.

But weight and stress - I think, as with most illnesses….those are two things to look at closely. I denied stress for years. Just kept stuffing it down, down, down. It will surface eventually and with a vengence.

So that is my update for now. And I appreciate everyone that’s emailed and commented on the whole GERD drama I’ve been through. And those of you that are going through the same thing….you’ve found a place to talk about it. I always try to respond to any comments or posts. I know I’m not a doctor or anything - but I do think it helps to talk about it and just find common ground with someone else. It’s nice to know you’re not alone.

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It’s just you and I talking here - one on one.

Do you take your Blackberry to bed with you? Your iPhone? Your laptop?
Do you have to give it a couple of update checks just one more time before you actually go to bed?

Maybe you plan to go to bed, and then two hours later you find you’re still doing Twitter updates and answering emails?

What happened to actually going to bed?

And as my husband rolls his eyes while I type this post on my laptop IN bed - what happened to sex? “You’re all ‘a twitter for Twitter more than for my hot manhood!”

OK….he didn’t say that. My husband would never say “manhood”. I just took that straight out of cornball romance novels.

But he DID roll his eyes.

According to an article published on ZDNet this week:

“More than 1 in 4 employees are so tethered to laptops and smartphones that they can’t    resist taking them to bed with them before sleeping, according to a small survey released today.”

You’d think because I work at home - I wouldn’t feel the need to bring my laptop up to bed, or carry my iPhone with me like it’s some type of device that keeps my heart working. But I do.

I wonder….for those of you like me….are we waiting for some kind of ULTIMATE EMAIL?
ULTIMATE TEXT MESSAGE? FACEBOOK POST? TWITTER RESPONSE?

Is there an invitation to the White House, maybe even better… to Madonna’s house we’re waiting on? Do we think we’re going to be asked to host the Oscars? Is Oprah right now posting something on our Facebook page?  An invite to help host her Fridays Live show maybe?

What is it that compels us to carry that little smartphone around? Or to bring a laptop to bed when we already have a home office??

I honestly don’t know?

I mean - I could be sleeping right now - letting my body rest and rejuvenate itself. Give my brain some much needed down time. I could be having awesome sex right now with a man I love. A man I chose to spend the rest of my life with that is - totally sexy and a fabulous lover. (He will blush when he reads this tomorrow - but he knows that he’s awesome!)

Oh but nooooooo….
I gotta check my iPhone for any new tweets. I mean….My GOD, how can I sleep if I don’t know what John Mayer and Kirstie Ally are doing right THIS minute. How?? I ask you, how??

And hey….not get a post out on my blog? I gotta get that done. So let me fire up that laptop as I plop into my bed.

My sleepless, sexless bed.

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OMG - my 14 year old would think he’d died and gone to “I have Hilton’s as Parents” heaven!

There is not and there will not be any “Bill My Parents” crap going on here.

This is the way it plays out at my house…
You do your chores, make good grades, treat people with respect and have some damn manners - and I’ll pay you an allowance.

If/when you save up enough to buy something you want online….I’ll consider it.
If I say yes…HAND OVER THE CASH (including shipping!)…..and I’ll use one of my credit cards to buy it.

Otherwise…..fuggedaboutit kid.

With a site like BillMyParents.com - it seems like you’re perpetuating “I want I want” syndrome.
A horrible disease amongst our youth these days.

So these kids peruse the internet…gleefully clicking away on everything they “want” - and the parents receive a notice regarding these “wishful purchases”.

Ya know what happens next?

It’s called the “Please Please Melt Down” or the “I Promise…I Promise….I’ll Do blah blah blah Plead”.

I know you’ve experienced this.

“Mom…if you’ll just float me some money on my next allowance, I’ll do double what I am supposed to….I’ll make up for it by doing…..”

No…this does not work. I promise you. It doesn’t. Don’t kid yourself.

Why give them more ammo by letting them go online window shopping like some bridezilla from hell padding her registry?

Nope.

Work for the money.
Save the money.
Then make a purchase.

The mess our country is in is a perfect example of “Bill My…..Whomever - Just Don’t Make Me Pay For It” attitude!! This includes our government.

Nothing against BillMyParents.com - but I won’t be using this service any time soon.

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I just finished reading a great article in USAToday: “Direct sales (like Avon, Mary Kay) offer recession-proof jobs”

Articles like this, only reiterate what I’ve tried to tell others about having a home business or at least trying a direct sales business. For some, there is this huge fear. Many women I talk to have a real hang up about approaching ANYONE about a home business or products they might be selling.

I don’t think there’s anybody out there that’s a huge fan of cold calling people. But I don’t look at a direct sales business as a cold calling type business. It’s a warm business. And if it’s products you really believe in and stand by…..your enthusiasm will show. That’s the biggest asset you’ve got going for you if you decide to do a home business - your pure excitement about what you’re selling.

And even if you kinda “fall” into a home business….you can still see HUGE success.

Perfect example is Craig Lapp, quoted in the USAToday article:

Not long ago, Craig Lapp made his living driving a truck that helped carve Southern California’s soil into new developments. But then housing sales slumped, and in November 2007 Lapp’s construction company let him go.

While he searched for another job, Lapp began working alongside his wife, Lynne, in a business based in their Temecula home, selling nutritional supplements made by the direct-sales company Isagenix. Nearly two years later and with no construction job in sight, Lapp says a one-time sideline has become the couple’s bread and butter.

“It’s paying our mortgage, our car payments … putting food on the table,” says Lapp, 55, who adds that he and his wife are earning a six-figure income. “It was our ‘Plan B’ that turned into our ‘Plan A.’ “

With so many losing their jobs these days, and many wondering how they will make ends meet - it’s hard to imagine supporting your family with an at home job like direct sales. I understand that.

But truly - it is possible.

I started selling Avon years ago. I gave up after a few months….it was “too hard”, “too expensive”, “too time consuming”……..too too too.

Well…a few years ago I got back in it. I was buying many of their Anew Anti-Aging products anyway….so why not sell it myself?

What changed? Why am I successful at it now? I think it has to do with my shift in perspective….my age and just really wanting my own “gig”. Selling Avon now for me isn’t hard at all. As a matter of fact it’s effortless at times.

I can’t believe how many people want an Avon brochure. They love the convenience, the variety of products. And lets face it - literally - Avon has cutting edge facial products. Their Anew line is incredible. And with the addition of their new Anew Clinical for Crows Feet - sales will only climb.

Thank goodness that I have this income. My husband works in manufacturing…and that’s not a real secure business to be in right now. I’m very thankful he’s still got a job - but right now, in this economy - you just don’t know.

There are 100’s of great direct sales companies out there too. It’s not all make-up and toys. There is everything from purses to scrapbooking to pets.

MoneyMakingMommy.com has a wonderful direct sales directory for those looking for a home business to browse.

If you’ve really got the ambition, the drive….then you don’t need to worry. It’s people with those personality traits and perspectives that see huge successes.

About the Author of this Article:
Kelly Land –>> Follow her on Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/HBBM
Work at Home Mom for 8 years. Owner of the popular and top rated work at home resource site, http://www.MoneyMakingMommy.com .
MoneyMakingMommy.com is a free resource for those looking for work at home jobs, ideas, tips, suggestions, articles and more. There is also a free weekly “work at home” newsletter. Subscribe easily at the following link: http://www.MoneyMakingMommy.com/popup.htm

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So….
I write.
For you.

But cha know….just between you and I….
I write much better posts….well, actually I do anything better if you must know…when I’ve had some sugar.

How about you?
Needing a nibbley right now too?

Life is all about the nibblies isn’t it?
Really…when you think about it.

Life really is like a box of chocolates. But for me….it’s not a matter of not knowing what type of chocolate I might get….all that matters is that I GET the chocolate.

So…lets you and I sneak off for a few….grab our “fix” of choice, and I’ll meet you back here say….
soon.

Night.

::munch munch::

Bliss.

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