Remember that annoyingly repeated statistic about most dry-weather traffic accidents happen in early evening on west-bound roads? Yea, sunsets be causin’ them bitches.

Sun positions above a pryamid or between unique buildings might be a novelty, I’ll give you that, so buy a postcard for the cubicle.

People taking pics of ocean sunsets just makes me crave Downs Syndrome so I’d be too retarded to notice. Ever seen an ocean sunset? Really, you have? Then you’ve seen every one in the world.

An ocean sunset looks like the beginning of a nuclear detonation… in reverse slow motion. Thats all the interest my brain can possibly yank from such a bland occurance.

Grabbing a mask and snorkle it’s easy to see the algae gardens quickly growing and creeping towards shore. It’s that odd algae that you cant really grab well during growth but dies to become solid mats on the bottom. Out near the boat parking, there were a few huge algae gardens of varied species to within a half meter of the surface…. Scared the shit outta me, wrapping my legs suddenly in that mess.

Several fish colonies have already moved in closer to the shore and after seeing the minnow hatchlings everywhere, you can bet the sea snakes aren’t far behind. Banded Sea Kraits (snakes) are one of the most posionous animals on earth and look it too with the black and white warning bands looking out of place in the water – but honestly, they’re really passive and might even swim along with you. …. But dont sue me when your dumb ass gets bit trying to play with em’.

I mean c’mon, how the hell did a chunk of beer bottle get in my foot while sleeping? The sandal-vendor ninjas sneak in and blow-dart a shard of SML across the apartment?

It’s just too much effort to go limping about on pain killers tonight… good thing I prepped a skillet meal of marinade steak and veggies last night: just mix, add fire and rum.

The very day after Chad leaves, I started by having a single drink at home and visiting Blue Mango where I had two more drinks and a large quesedilla over the next few hours. Had the bag with Chads and my diving gear sitting nearby.

Current total: 3 drinks and a decent meal over 5 hours. Still sober. Clear memories up to this point. All-day brownout still in effect.

Next is Cocoloco’s and its blurry. I cannot recall having drinks, sitting on the stool or bench, talking to anyone, or havoing the backpack. The only memories are of a pizza in front of me and a certain view: I was in the front about where the benches and stools meet and I looked to see Jo-Ann sitting at the stairway table with that strange smiling guy that was trying to barfine her the night before. I remember that view clearly and thinking… wow… they pimped out one of the staff?

Time: 21:00 and sober back in the room, unpacking the scuba gear. I remember this clearly, thinking I had just come from Blue Mango…. The whole Cocoloco event wouldnt be remembered for a couple days.

Feeling sober, I tripped to Sundown for some finer snack food like good cheese, salami, imported drinks. Stopped on the way back for a single drink at Red Pirates and had a conversation with Rose Ann about her other job – I clearly remember these events and being sober enough to feel slightly bored (which is really sober for me). Brownout ended and I brought the groceries home.

Time: 21:45 and damnit, I forgot eggs! Drinks: 6ish I’m assuming a couple at cocoloco for the tally. I remember being clearheaded. After getting sari store eggs, I stop at Island Staff dive shop for a few drinks with some friends. Acos makes a great spanish omlette with the offerings. He does it pulutan – appetizer fingerfood style.

Time: 23:00 got my good drank on now baby! Group splits, I return home.
Whoops, I need to get phone load for tonight…. Get it…. Stop next door at the Cowboy-something bar and…
… And yup, there it goes blurry again. I clearly remember the ending and departing, but none of my stay at the cowboy although I clearly remember only having a single drink.

Time: 12:00 – midnight. Drinks: 10 or less, not even up to snuff for my daylong average. Woke up angry and fitful.
There I was, having a lite week, staying generally sober – but nooooo, someones god had an attack of “lets fuck with JD”.
You hear me Universe?!? I fucking WIN! You suck, now go cause miscarriages in breeder 3rd world countries or something else useful… we saw what you did in Haiti, thats a good start, little low on the body count but its a good start.

update mid Jan 2010: seems to have been a sql issue and happened around the same time other server issues popped up for the company.

All this was over the bar trying to charge higher “lady drink” prices for his girls beverages. She was not from this bar and everyone knew that. Doll House guards were the ones listed in news stories although this person claims the mamasan also kicked him in the head after he was down. The mamasan reportedly didsappeared, not to be seen again.

In this pic, you can see blood left over from the ear and caked into the eyebrows.

Swedish tourist assaulted violently in the Philippines.

2 cοcks found beside mans body

I don’t wish for much in life aside from world domination, booze, and Wild Berry Skittles but I’m confident this would not be my preferred obituary headline. Of course, this comes courtesy of the DOM himself.

Edit: I’ve noticed in the feed that Google Adsense decided this as obscene and stripped the advert from the RSS feed.

Then it dawned on me that I was already on a Smart Wireless Broadband connection – and couldn’t get their own site to load.

Finding healthy meals is not easy on Boracay unless you’re willing to travel for a resto, which defeats the whole concept of eating out for convenience. If you are curious about price then no worries, CocoLocos is a good price for all of its meals and never skimps on the portions.

CocoLocos has been my favorite Station 3 resto for a long while. Their menu is far larger than most places and the cooks are good… I mean really good.

More to the point, have they researched the flavor of whale wrapped in succulent strips of juvenile penguin slow roasted over the smouldering fat of a 60 year old deep trench nautilus?