homemadeblogging

The Last Days of Summer...

2014-09-08T10:45:00.000-07:00

Dog Days of Summer

2014-08-12T10:50:00.004-07:00

I am currently draped on our couch recovering from yesterday's 100 degree heat. We woke up this morning and were sweating within five minutes. It's that time of summer. I love the sun, but this heat? Not so much. I'm such a weather complainer; always wanting the next season to come. We've been going to all the parks with water we can find and we're lucky that we have a wonderful swimming pool in our complex. I would just like it if I didn't feel like I was melting everyday! But I will say that I love dining al fresco with a cold beer. Luckily, Portland has tons of places for outdoor dining.

Health During Times of Stress

2014-08-03T22:23:00.004-07:00

Transitioning from a full-time SAHM to having a part time job is stressful. I tend to stress more than is necessary, and believe me I've been thinking about how and when and where I will get back to work since the day Seeley was born. This wasn't because being home wasn't what I wanted (I would make the same choice over again no question), I just knew that eventually I would want to resume my career.

Well here I am today; ready to work and grateful for being given a chance to teach again! I'm so lucky with the teaching position I've accepeted. I get to start working slowly and build the amount of classes I teach over time. I get time to prepare as it starts in September. I get time, period. That's one of the things that marks true success in life. Time. So many people have no time to rest, think, grow or develop as a person. I am grateful to be in a position where I don't have to take whatever job I can get to bring in money. The leisure to look for a job out of pure interest and professional development is something everyone should be able to do and which far too few people are able. Carrying this gratitude with me has helped me when I feel overwhelmed and then consequently feel guilty for being so privleged and whiny.

Along with practicing gratitude, I've been trying over the last couple years to channel my stress into productivity. I definitely try to prepare, prepare, prepare!! I've been reading a lot of great public speaking books in preparation for my class(I'm teaching a communication and public speaking course), as well as watching a lot of TEDTalks online (I'm obsessed). I'm definitely nervous about entering a classroom for the first time in three years, but the information I'm finding is actually really informative and interesting stuff! I always feel less stressed and more confident when I feel like I have a solid message behind me.

(p.s. And while I was at the library everyday getting books, of course I had to get some poetry books, a book on floral arragements and a book about traveling to Paris. I'll read them all, somehow. Tanya+books=love.)

Seattle and Sleepy Sundays

2014-07-28T10:03:00.001-07:00

I love the northwest. One of the things I love about the pacific northwest more specifically is that we have two fantastic cities within a couple hours of one another. We love taking day trips to Seattle. We have a lot of memories of the three years we lived in the Capitol Hill neighborhood. Our downtown apartment was our first home as a couple; it's where we got engaged, where we started our careers and where we fell in love with living in a city. This trip we decided to visit a beach we hadn't been to in years. Seeley was her usual mermaid self and immediately tried to get in the water. She ran up and down the beach and we had a blast splashing and playing in the sand.
The next day we planned to go for a little hike after Wes made us an amazing french toast breakfast, but S fell asleep in the car for a much needed nap. So we ended up taking this amazing drive through farmland and orchard after orchard. We live in paradise :)

Time at Home and Big Changes

2014-07-21T18:56:00.002-07:00

We had such a nice weekend! After a week of Seeley being sick with a stomach virus (seriously, Portland, what's up?) we decided to take it easy since Wes and I weren't feeling great ourselves. It turned out to be really nice to have some much needed down time. We really like spending time together at home. We both love our home and I especially take a lot of pride in how it's maintained and decorated. I'd like to think that our house is nice as well as inviting and comfortable and, most importantly, full of love!
We finally got the cherry tomato plant Wes has been wanting forever and Seeley helped him plant it by playing with the trowel and throwing dirt around. We also took little girl out for a ride on her balance bike but she was more interested in going for a walk with her helmet on. She also decided it was Seeley and papa time and let me know it multiple times ("no mama. I want papa to swing me!") I didn't mind carrying all the stuff and watching them run around. They're too cute to be mad at :)
One of the two big changes in our house is that Seeley is officially weaned from nursing! It just kind of worked out with Seeley being in Boise and then being too sick to tolerate any breastmilk without throwing up. We decided just to go for it entirely and say bye-bye to nursing. So she's done! I'm a mess though. Having that bonding time with her has been amazing and it's really sad to see her growing up (as well as exciting and fantastic, of course). I know that for us nursing Seeley for almost three years was the right decision. I wouldn't change it for the world.
Our other big change is also about growing and moving forward. Beginning in September I will be working part-time! Holy cow! I am excited and nervous and on the verge of a panic attack. I will be teaching a ten week course on public speaking at an educational resource center for homeschoolers! Basically my dream job in alternative education. And the best part is they have a childcare area so I can bring Seeley. It's amazing and I can't wait to get started. Onward and upward!

A Weekend in Boise and Mama Solo Time!

2014-07-16T09:41:00.001-07:00

This weekend I spent my first weekend alone since Seeley was born! That's almost three years ago! I've spent a day away from her, but I've put her to bed every night of her life. We were ready to have a little space, and Seeley's such an adaptable girl I honestly wasn't nervous about it. Some people may have done this earlier but I knew we waited until the right time for us. So we all gave eachother hugs and kisses and off they went!
I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I just kind of walked around our quite house for an hour. Eventually I settled in and did my favorite thing on earth: reading. I read poetry and fashion magazines. I started a novel. I read in bed late into the night and with a cup of coffee the next morning. It was glorious. I went for a couple nice walks. I stretched out in bed and lingered there all morning. A girl could get used to this. The best part is that I wasn't worried or nervous about Seeley. I knew she'd be fine because she was with her papa and her family. And I was right. The girl had a ball. Wes' family showed her so much love! I think everyone had a fantastic weekend and that we've grown even more as a family.

Sick Toddlers, Frustration and the SAHM

2014-07-10T08:38:00.001-07:00

Ugh. I'm grumpy and worn out. Last weekend Seeley contracted Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. Yikes! It's going around Portland like crazy, and since we live at the park, there ya go. She broke out in a horrible fever which broke our hearts. There is nothing worse than having a sick child and not being able to do much to help them. Luckily, her fever broke and she didn't contract the rash that usually comes along with HFM.
Cut to now and why I'm having a hard time. Seeley seems to be more or less fine. But she's contagious. So I've been keeping her inside all week. Trying to keep this girl in the house all day is like trying to contain a tornado. She keeps dragging me to the door saying, "We go outside? We go to the park? We go swimming?" Everything I start doing she wants me to stop doing. We're watching too much t.v. I'm feeling guilty because she wants my attention every second and I'm tired and short-tempered. This is hard. I want to leave the house too, but I'm not going to be one of those parents who take their sick kids out and expose them to other kids. Also, Seeley and Wes are going to Idaho for the weekend and I want her to be 100 percent.
Did I mention that I'm sick also? Yeah, fun times around here. Just taking it hour by hour and trying to find inside things to do that aren't watching the same three movies over and over.

Independence Day

2014-07-05T10:45:00.008-07:00

Happy Independence Day (yesterday!) Yesterday was sunny and there were kids and families everywhere. Our little trio went for a perfect walk in the Woodstock neighborhood of SE Portland and stopped to play at one of our many favorite parks. We remembered to bring Seeley's little soccer ball. She loves to chase the ball but is still working on kicking it. I'm thinking track and field is in her future ;) I'm glad we went out yesterday because all last night and today Seeley's had a fever and has been taking it easy. I hope everyone is enjoying this long weekend!

Seeleyisms

2014-07-04T09:36:00.003-07:00

Yesterday Seeley decided to turn the tables and take the nail clippers I was using in my failed attempt to cut her nails and gave me a once over. Using the clippers she opened my mouth and said "what's in there? Let's get it." This followed with my nose, ears and eyes. I guess now I know what it feels like to be her! She's been cracking me up lately with the things she's saying and I just have to share some of my favorite Seeleyisms :)

1) She loves to stand on our porch and yell " hiiiii! Hi there! Hi kids!!!"at the neighbor kids playing outside.

2) While watching a commercial for pizza: "Pizza? I love pizza!"

3) While lying in bed talking to herself during bedtime: "This is my breakfast. This is my food. Ahhhh don't eat me!"

4) This morning we were playing in her room and I asked her what the wet spot on the carpet was. Answer: "this is hot soup!"

5) Throughout the day to both me and papa: "hey, you okay?"

Getting Out

2014-07-01T16:31:00.001-07:00

(note: before you start reading I wanted to say thanks for putting up with all the changes I've made to the blog. I'm trying to update and I promise it will be consistent soon.)

It's 97 degrees outside right now, and in our third floor apartment it feels like it's twice that. Welcome to July! If we didn't have any motivation to get out of the house before we sure do now! As a stay-at-home parent actually not staying at home is a big deal. Staying inside all day with a toddler will drive you crazy, but we all have days where we just want to stay in our pjs and watch movies. I'm quite a type-A, neurotic person and I put a lot of pressure on myself to be "productive" and live up to my unrealistic expectations. I've had times where I just didn't want to interact with anyone. I just wanted to stay home, read, listen to music and take it easy. I used to feel like that was selfish. But our children don't call the shots or make the decisions. We do. It's such a balancing act, isn't it? I've been thinking about this a lot the past couple days as our schedule gets more and more packed with playdates, park time, and more and more Seeley-centric activities. Today we went to the pool (our place has an amazing pool. We're spoiled) and played with her best buddy, then later they came over for some playtime. Seeley had so much fun and as hot as it is today I didn't think twice about it. But I do need to remind myself that when I want to rest, I should rest. Tommorow we have another playdate at a waterpark with a new friend, but the schedule for Thursday is nothing, nothing and nothing!
As a parent, whether stay-at-home or otherwise, it's also important to balance getting out as adults with what Seeley can handle. We took a walk downtown on Saturday and decided to try eating at a restuarant. Both risky moves! We can't stop doing the things we love but we also get tired of walking around the place with Seeley over and over. But this time we gave it a go and things worked out great! I guess that shows that sometimes you just have to throw yourself out there and see what happens :)

Poetry Update

2014-06-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

Last night before I went to bed I checked my email and saw that I had an email from a literature journal that decided to publish one of my poems! I work a lot on my writing and it's a passion that I plan to pursue for years to come. Currently I'm getting my poems together in a manuscript, so hopefully soon I'll have a book of poems published! I've had five or six poems published in poetry or literature journals, and I've often been asked how to view the poems or at least the journals they are in. So, I've made a list of links below! Most of my poems will be published late this summer or in the fall, but at least this way everyone can see the type of journals that are publishing my work. Thanks for all the support!

Mused: The BellaOnline Literary Review

Torrid Literature Journal

Clockwise Cat

Westward Quarterly

Stone Highway Review

To My Husband on Fathers Day

2014-06-16T09:10:00.001-07:00

Happy (belated) Fathers Day! We had a great weekend relaxing, laughing, watching basketball and spending time together. I hope Wes felt loved and appreciated on his special day. Wes really is an amazing father. I always knew he would be even in the beginning of our relationship.
A huge thing that makes Wes a great father is that he's a great husband. I don't want to judge anyone else's relationship or parenting arrangement, but I've too often seen husbands that leave the majority of parenting to their wives. Parenting is hard, and everyone needs a break. It hurts my heart to see a tired women wrangling her kids from sun up to sun down while the man essentially does is own thing. And the kids! They feel that alienation from their father. Luckily Wes knows me and knows that I expect nothing less than an egalitarian marriage and parenting arrangement. I may be a stay-at-home mom, but we both realize the importance of parenting together.
The best time of day is when Wes gets home from work. Wes and Seeley are off and playing. He loves that girl so much and she's crazy about him. They wrestle, read, have tea parties, the works. I am the luckiest women in the world to have this man in my life.

Jumping Back In

2014-06-09T13:37:00.001-07:00

Wow! From March until June; where have I been?! We've been one busy and happy trio and I've been one busy mama! I love having this blog and I love all the feedback I get from friends and family. All three of us can feel your love! I think I needed to step away from the blog for a bit so it didn't feel like an obligation or a chore. I also think I needed time to focus on what I wanted to say on here, what I wanted this blog to be about. It's really cathartic for me to write here. I don't have a community of mom friends (other than my online pals and my one mama friend), so it's nice to just talk about Seeley and motherhood to my hearts content.
So I'm back from my break from the blog. As always, I have a lot to share and can't wait to get started. So let's do it! This weekend we went to the Portland Farmers Market downtown and caught the last bit of the Rose Parade. Seeley was most excited about playing in the fountain and wading pool in the center of downtown. She was in heaven with her three favorite things: water, running and other kids! She sure is a riot:)

Spring is in the Air!

2014-03-10T09:12:00.001-07:00

I feel bad writing about our great weather. Montana is having tons of snow, it's cold, there are avalanches. Meanwhile, we've been sitting on the porch and playing at parks! I have to say, though, as a stay-at-home mom it makes such a difference when playing outside is an option. I like to have at least one "activity" that we do during the day. When we can't go outside we are pretty much restricted to visits to the library, playing at the community center, or hosting a play date. All of those things are fun but get old day after day, week after week. But now it is warmer and in between the rain there is sun! I'm so excited to get to those day where we pack some snacks and spend hours in the park in the sun :)

We Love the Library! (video)

2014-02-21T09:31:00.003-08:00

There's nothing like a library on a cold and rainy day. There are tons of cozy places to explore, kids to meet, quiet games to play and books, books, books! And did I mention that this library has three floors? That means stairs! Anyone who knows Seeley knows she loves to go up and down (and up and down) any and all stairs. Our library also has a huge duck pond and walking path behind it, so we always bring some bread to feed the ducks. Have a great weekend!

IMG 7321[1] from tanya dickinson on Vimeo.

IMG 7320[1] from tanya dickinson on Vimeo.

My Husband

2014-02-17T10:38:00.007-08:00

This weekend Wes and I decided to have a little valentine's date without the little one. Seeley got to play with her great uncle John and aunt Shanti (those three are great together ;)) while Wes and I got to spend some quality time together! It's easy to put romance on the back burner when you have work, kids, bills, chores, etc. to worry about. Not to mention when you've been with someone over eight years. But it is important to always work on your relationship, and Wes and I were way overdue for a date. I must say, Wes is such a sweet, handsome and loving guy. He told me how pretty I looked every five minutes, he had his arm around me all night, and we laughed like we did when we first started dating. He definitely has my heart.

Around These Parts

2014-02-03T10:34:00.000-08:00

Happy February! Seeley and I were stuck inside all of last week with colds, and let me tell you, it was the longest week EVER! It wasn't so bad when S was sick because I could just give her lots of cuddles and let her take it easy. The hard part came when Seeley got better and I became sick! All I wanted to do was climb into bed but Seeley wanted to jump and climb and play and do everything right now! On Thursday the cabin fever was getting to me so we went to our favorite community center to get some energy out. Seeley and I love that place. So, now we're finally better and ready to find something to do in this cold weather. Is it spring yet?

Around These Parts (A Girls Weekend)

2014-01-11T08:54:00.002-08:00

Seeley and I are flying solo today and possibly part of Sunday because Wes is going to the Seahawks playoff game! The man lives for football, and I have to admit it's pretty awesome that he has a professional sports team so close that he can root for! So here Seeley and I are, having a girl day. I'm doing some Saturday morning blogging since S is currently distracted by the egg she is carrying around the house. Seeley is totally weird. She has this goofy fascination with eggs. Pictures of eggs, drawings of eggs, eggs in cartoons, and now she begs to take eggs out of the refrigerator and carry them around (and lick them as she also always pretends to be a dog.) So I'm switching between looking at the computer and looking at Seeley saying, "gentle. VERY gentle". Wish me luck. Lately it's been raining and not so cold and in a weird way it's getting us out of the house more than if it was nice everyday. The second it stops raining, off we go! I hope you have a great weekend and GO HAWKS!!!

Happy Holidays from the Dickinson-Joscelyns (Part Two of Two)

2014-01-03T10:20:00.005-08:00

Happy New Year! The first couple days of 2014 have been great over here. The weather's been great and we've been able to get out and play! On New Years day Wes had the day off and we were able to go out to eat at Hopworks Brewery while Seeley played in their kid area. I've said it before and I'll say it again; it's a genius idea to have a place for kids to play in a restaurant! We've also been soaking up the cold but sunny weather during the day. Seeley and I have been to four parks in five days (and we're off to another after I finish this post!) Being able to get outside during the day instead of being stuck in an office is one of the huge perks of being a "stay-at-home mom"! Wes and I have also made a resolution to try and stay off our smartphones during the evening. We love spending time together as a family, but the internet has a way of sucking you in! As promised, here is the last of the pictures from our Christmas trip to Missoula! I wish our family could be here to hang out with us, but we'll try to get together again soon!

Happy Holidays from the Dickinson-Joscelyns! (Part One of Two)

2013-12-30T09:27:00.004-08:00

Thank the universe! We are home safe and sound from traveling to and from Montana last week. I was soooo ready for this vacation. I needed some time to collect my thoughts, sleep in and get re-energized. I was burned out and I felt like Seeley was starting to suffer (not really suffer but, you know, mom guilt.) That's why time with family is so important. My family and my in-laws always make me feel confident, they encourage me to continue and accomplish my personal goals and they love my daughter endlessly. I'm so lucky to have such great people in my life.

Weekend Pics!

2013-12-17T10:47:00.001-08:00

We're obviously in some kind of Seattle kick, because we decided to head north again this weekend! We spent the day in Edmonds looking at and the ferry, playing near the water and visiting a cute little pop-up frog and turtle sanctuary. It was 40 degrees and cloudy which is a perfect day for the Pacific Northwest in December. After our Edmonds visit we spent some time with Wes' brother Eric and his girlfriend Jill. She discovered a flashlight at their house, which led to a lot of free entertainment courtesy of Seeley ;)

Seeley's First Haircut!

2013-12-13T13:13:00.003-08:00

Seeley has beautiful, wavy, dark blond hair. And lately, it's getting all over her face. She may have Wes' hair color but she has the thickness of my hair! We've been wanting to get her a haircut for awhile, but when thinking about where to take her I decided I would cut it myself. Mind you, I have never cut anyone else's hair, let alone the bangs we wanted her to have. But I gave it a go anyway. It's definitely uneven but I think it's adorable. Wes and I still have our moms cut our hair and it's something I'm happy to do for my little girl :)

Around These Parts...

2013-12-10T10:21:00.001-08:00

How has it been so long since I've blogged? How is it almost Christmas? Time is moving way too fast for me! I love the holidays and having a little one makes this time of year even more special. I'm not loving the cold though, even in Oregon. I'm quite a wimp about cold weather, I'll admit! We've been having fun as usual around here. It is officially winter and cold here and Seeley and I have been getting cabin fever a bit. Thankfully we have our favorite Community Center to hang out at. She loves that place and there's always something for her to do (and it's warm!) Enjoy some pics from the last couple weeks and stay warm!

Weekend Pics: A Night Walk Downtown

2013-11-18T08:32:00.003-08:00

After cuddling in and watching football all day on Saturday, we decided to bundle up and take a night walk in downtown Portland. We had so much fun and Seeley loved seeing all the lights and buildings. She especially enjoyed looking in restaurant windows and saying, "ooooooo". Luckily the people trying to eat their dinners thought it was funny. It's pretty great that we get to raise our daughter in such a beautiful city.

Stress, Growth and All That Stuff

2013-11-13T08:43:00.000-08:00

First off, I feel silly. I'm not working all day to put food on the table, or struggling to take care of my family. My problems are definitely privileged. That said, life isn't a competition. I've been stressed. Mostly it's my darn anxiety acting up. Anxiety is a real killer when you're a stay-at-home mom who also happens to be a perfectionist. Is she watching too much t.v.? (Answer: yes. But the girl loves Curious George!) Is she spending enough time socializing? (Answer: of course. We spent three hours, THREE, at the park on Monday and had a three hour playdate yesterday.) Her development is skyrocketing. She started counting (to two, but still!) and identifying colors. She says new words everyday. I have a lot to keep up with. I'm trying to keep in mind one of my most important parenting philosophies of nurturing her personality and letting her grow without hovering. But it's easier said than done.

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but taking care of Seeley, but I'm finding I have less and less time for myself. Writing poetry is important to me. I'm going to write and (hopefully) publish poetry for the rest of my life. I want to go to graduate school in the fall of 2015 to get a Master of Fine Art in Creative Writing and teach at the Community College level (hopefully). In typical Tanya fashion, my plans are rigid and defined. But I haven't written a poem in weeks. I'm too tired at night (did I also mention that her growth spurt is making her wake up a million times a night?) and too busy during the day. I don't have a solution, I'm just wondering where the time went? I'm sure this is common among all parents, especially stay-at-moms planning to return to a professional career. My previous work experience is falling further and further away and Seeley is getting closer and closer to school age! And where does that leave me!!! But enough whining and freaking out. Seeley just told me she pooped and is now jumping on the bed in said poopy diaper. Time to put writing aside for the moment and get back into mom mode:)