HOMMELAND

Recognizes Homosexuality

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 06:21:00 +0000

Islam 'Recognizes Homosexuality'

Homosexuals and homosexuality are natural and created by God, thus permissible within Islam, a discussion concluded here Thursday. Moderate Muslim scholars said there were no reasons to reject homosexuals under Islam, and that the condemnation of homosexuals and homosexuality by mainstream ulema and many other Muslims was based on narrow-minded interpretations of Islamic teachings.

Siti Musdah Mulia of the Indonesia Conference of Religions and Peace cited the Koran's al-Hujurat (49:3) that one of the blessings for human beings was that all men and women are equal, regardless of ethnicity, wealth, social positions or even sexual orientation.

"There is no difference between lesbians and nonlesbians. In the eyes of God, people are valued based on their piety," she told the discussion organized by nongovernmental organization Arus Pelangi.

"And talking about piety is God's prerogative to judge," she added.

"The essence of the religion (Islam) is to humanize humans, respect and dignify them." Musdah said homosexuality was from God and should be considered natural, adding it was not pushed only by passion.

Mata Air magazine managing editor Soffa Ihsan said Islam's acknowledgement of heterogeneity should also include homosexuality.

He said Muslims needed to continue to embrace ijtihad (the process of making a legal decision by independent interpretation of the Koran and the Sunnah) to avoid being stuck in the old paradigm without developing open-minded interpretations.

Another speaker at the discussion, Nurofiah of the Nahdlatul Ulama (NU), said the dominant notion of heterogeneity was a social construction, leading to the banning of homosexuality by the majority.

"Like gender bias or patriarchy, heterogeneity bias is socially constructed. It would be totally different if the ruling group was homosexuals," she said.

Other speakers said the magnificence of Islam was that it could be blended and integrated into local culture.

"In fact, Indonesia's culture has accepted homosexuality. The homosexual group in Bugis-Makassar tradition called Bissu is respected and given a high position in the kingdom.

"Also, we know that in Ponorogo (East Java) there has been acknowledgement of homosexuality," Arus Pelangi head Rido Triawan said.

Condemnation of homosexuality was voiced by two conservative Muslim groups, the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) and Hizbut Thahir Indonesia (HTI).

"It's a sin. We will not consider homosexuals an enemy, but we will make them aware that what they are doing is wrong," MUI deputy chairman Amir Syarifuddin said.

Rokhmat, of the hardline HTI, several times asked homosexual participants in attendance to repent and force themselves to gradually return to the right path.

Abdul Khalik , The Jakarta Post , Jakarta | Fri, 03/28/2008 1:38 AM | Headlines

About Underwear

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:20:00 +0000

History of Underwear

Underwear, also called "underpants," "lingerie", or "panties" (undergarments for women), or sometimes "intimate clothing", and "pants" or "knickers" in British English, are clothes worn next to the skin, usually under other clothes.

Ancient history

The loincloth is the simplest form of underwear; it was probably the first undergarment worn by human beings. A loincloth may take three major forms. The first, and simplest, is simply a long strip of material which is passed between the legs and then around the waist. The ancient Hawaiian malo was of this form, as are several styles of the Japanese fundoshi.

In warmer climates, the loincloth may be the only clothing worn (making it effectively not an undergarment), as was doubtlessly its origin, but in colder temperatures, the loincloth often forms the basis of a person's clothing and is covered by other garments. In most ancient civilizations, this was the only undergarment available (King Tutankhamun was buried with 145 of them).

Men are said to have worn loincloths in ancient Greece and Rome, though it is unclear whether Greek women wore undergarments. Mosaics of the Roman period indicate Roman women (primarily in an athletic context, whilst wearing nothing else) sometimes wore wrapped breastcloths or brassieres made of soft leather, along with loincloths and possibly something like panties.

Any cloth used may have been wool, linen or linsey-woolsey blend. Only the upper classes could have afforded imported silk.

Middle Ages and Renaissance

Male undergarments

In the Middle Ages, western men's underwear became looser fitting. The loincloth was replaced by loose, trouser-like clothing called braies, which the wearer stepped into and then laced or tied around the waist and legs at about mid-calf. Wealthier men often wore chausses as well, which only covered the legs.

By the Renaissance, the chausses became form-fitting like modern Hose, and the braies became shorter to accommodate longer styles of chausses. However, chausses and many braies designs were not intended to be covered up by other clothing, so they are not actually underwear in the strictest sense.

Braies were usually fitted with a flap in the front that buttoned or tied closed. This codpiece allowed men to urinate without having to remove the braies completely. Henry VIII of England began padding his own codpiece, which caused a spiraling trend of larger and larger codpieces that only ended by the end of the 16th century.

The modern men's shirt appeared during this era, but it was originally an undergarment. Men would wear this long shirt under their other clothing and pull the long piece up from the back and then put their braies on over the shirt. In this way the shirt acted as underwear. Renaissance noblemen also adopted the doublet, a vest-like garment tied together in the front and worn under other clothing.

Female undergarments

Medieval women usually wore a close-fitting garment called a chemise or sometimes a shift or smock, sometimes coupled with braies-like leg wrappings. They may have worn petticoats over the shift and under the dress. Quilted petticoats could be worn during the winter. Elaborately-quilted petticoats might be displayed by a cut-away dress, in which case they became a skirt rather than an undergarment.

During the 16th century, the farthingale was popular. This was a petticoat stiffened with reed or willow rods so that it stood out from a woman's body, like a cone extending from the waist.

The farthingale was later worn with a roll of stiffened material called a Bum Roll. The bum roll could be used to add more width to the body, whilst spreading skirt fullness evenly. The Bum Roll had tapes which enabled it to be tied to the waist, settling over the farthingale.

Corsets also began to be worn about this time. At first they were called pair of bodies, which may refer both to a stiffened bodice designed to be seen, and a bodice stiffened with buckram, reeds, canes, whalebone etc., worn underneath another, decorative, bodice. These were not the small-waisted, curvy corsets familiar from the Victorian period, but straight-lined corsets that flattened the bust.

Enlightenment and Industrial Age

The inventions of the spinning jenny machines and the cotton gin in the second half of the 18th century made cotton fabrics widely available. This allowed factories to mass-produce underwear, and for the first time, people began buying undergarments in stores rather than making them at home.

Women's stays of the 18th century were laced behind and drew the shoulders back to form a high, round bosom and erect posture. With the relaxed country styles of the end of the century, stays became shorter and were unboned or only lightly boned, and were now called corsets. Undue binding of a corset sometimes led to a woman needing to retire to the fainting room. Colored stays were fashionable.

As tight waists became fashionable in the 1820s, the corset was again boned and laced to form the figure. By the 1860s, a tiny ('wasp') waist came to be seen as a symbol of beauty, and the corsets were stiffened with whalebone or steel to accomplish this. By the 1880s, the dress reform movement was campaigning against the pain and damage to internal organs and bones caused by tight lacing.

Inez Gaches-Sarraute invented the Health corset, with a straight-fronted bust made to help support the muscles of the wearer. The corset was usually worn over a thin shirt-like garment of cotton or muslin called a shift.

As skirts became fuller from the 1830s, women wore a profusion of petticoats to achieve the fashionable bell shape. By the 1850s, stiffened crinolines and later hoop skirts allowed ever wider skirts to be worn. The bustle, a frame or pad worn over the buttocks to enhance their shape, had been used off and on by women for two centuries, but it reached the height of its popularity the later 1880s, and went out of fashion for good in the 1890s.

The standard undergarment of the late 19th century for men, women and children was the union suit, which provided coverage from the wrists to the ankles (this "second skin" style is more commonly known as long johns today). The union suits of the era were usually made of knitted material and included a drop flap in the back to ease visits to the toilet. Drawers for women were not generally worn until the mid-nineteenth century when the adoption of crinolines made them necessary for reasons of modesty and warmth.

The jockstrap was invented in 1874 by C. F. Bennett of a Chicago sporting goods company, Sharp & Smith, to provide comfort and support for bicycle jockeys riding the cobblestone streets of Boston. In 1897 Bennett's newly-formed Bike Web Company patented and began mass-producing the Bike Jockey Strap.

1900s

By the early 20th century, the mass-produced undergarment industry was booming, and competition forced producers to come up with all sorts of innovative and gimmicky designs to compete. The Hanes company emerged from this boom and quickly established itself as a top manufacturer of union suits. Textile technology continued to improve, and the time to make a single union suit dropped from days to minutes.

Meanwhile, designers of women's undergarments relaxed the corset. The invention of new, flexible but supportive materials allowed them to remove the whalebone and steel while still providing support. The emancipation or liberty bodice offered an alternative to constricting corsets, and in Australia and the United Kingdom, the liberty bodice became a standard item, for girls as well as women.

1910s

The increase in the number of underwear manufacturers necessitated the birth of undergarment advertising. The first underwear print advertisement in the United States ran in the Saturday Evening Post in 1911 and featured oil paintings by J.C. Leyendecker of the "Kenosha Klosed Krotch". Early underwear advertisements placed emphasis on durability and comfort; fashion was never a selling point.

By the end of the 1910s, Chalmers Knitting Company split the union suit into upper and lower sections, effectively inventing the modern undershirt and drawers. Women wore lacier versions of this basic duo known as the camisole and drawers.

In 1913, a New York socialite named Mary Phelps Jacob changed women's fashion forever when she cobbled the first brassiere together by tying two handkerchiefs together with ribbon. Jacob's original intention was to cover the whalebone sticking out of her corset, which was visible through her sheer dress. Jacob began making brassieres for her family and friends, and word of mouth soon spread about the garment.

By 1914, Jacob had a patent for her design and was marketing it throughout the United States. Although women had worn brassiere-like garments years past, Jacob's was the first to be successfully marketed and widely adopted.

By the end of the decade, trouser-like "bloomers" (popularized by Amelia Jenks Bloomer 1818-1894 but invented by Elizabeth Smith Miller) gained popularity with the so-called Gibson girls who enjoyed more athletic pursuits such as bicycling and tennis. This new female athleticism helped push the corset out of style, as well.

1920s

In the 1920s, manufacturers shifted emphasis from durability to comfort. Union suit ads raved about "patented" new designs that reduced the number of buttons and increased accessibility. Most of these experimental designs had to do with new ways to hold closed the crotch flap common on most union suits and drawers. A new woven cotton fabric called nainsook gained popularity in the 1920s for its durability. Retailers also began selling preshrunk undergarments.

Women's bloomers became much shorter and stockings covered the legs instead. The shorter bloomers became looser and less supportive as the boyish flapper look came into fashion. By the end of the decade, they came to be known as step-ins, very much like modern panties but with wider legs, worn for the increased flexibility they afforded.

As dancing became a favorite pastime of young flappers, the garter belt was invented to keep stockings from falling. Nevertheless, the increased sexuality of the flapper also made underwear sexier than ever before. It was the flappers who ushered in the era of lingerie.

1930s

Meanwhile, other modern men's underwear was largely an invention of the 1930s. On January 19, 1935, Coopers Inc. sold the world's first briefs in Chicago. The company placed a Y-shaped front and overlapping fly on knitted drawers in both short and long styles. They dubbed the design the "jockey" since it offered a degree of support that had previously only been available from the jockstrap.

Companies began selling buttonless drawers fitted with an elastic waistband, the first true boxer shorts (named for their resemblance to the shorts worn by professional fighters).

1940s

During World War II, elastic waistbands and metal snaps gave way once again to button fasteners due to rubber and metal shortages. Undergarments were harder to find, as well, since soldiers abroad had priority to get them.

Meanwhile, some women readopted the corset once again, now called the waspie for the wasp-shaped waistline it gave the wearer. Many women began wearing the strapless bra, as well, which gained popularity for its ability to push the breasts up and enhance cleavage.

1950s and 1960s

In the 1950s, underwear manufacturers began marketing printed and colored garments. What had once been a simple, white piece of clothing not to be shown in public suddenly became a fashion statement. The manufacturers also experimented with rayon and newer fabrics like dacron and nylon.

By 1960, men's underwear was regularly printed in loud patterns or with images ranging from messages to cartoon characters.

Women's undergarments began to emphasize the breasts instead of the waist in the 1950s. The decade saw the introduction of the bullet bra, which featured pointed cups.

Meanwhile, women's panties had become even more colorful and decorative, and by the mid-Sixties were also available in two smaller, more abbreviated styles called the hip-hugger and the bikini (after the island of that name), frequently in sheer nylon fabric.

Pantyhose, also called "tights" in British English, which combined panties and hose into one garment, made their first appearance in 1959, invented by Glen Raven Mills of North Carolina. The company later introduced seamless pantyhose in 1965, spurred by the popularity of the miniskirt. By the end of this decade, the girdle had fallen out of favor as women chose sexier and lighter alternatives.

1970s till the present day

Underwear as fashion matured in the 1970s and 1980s, and underwear advertisers forgot about comfort and durability, at least in advertising. Sex appeal became the main selling point, in swimwear as well, bringing to fruition a trend that had been building since at least the flapper era (underwear is the last barrier before nudity, and thus it acts as a sort of gatekeeper to sex).

Tank tops, an undershirt type named after the Tank suit swimwear which dates from the 1920s, have been popular warm-weather casual wear in the United States since the 1980s and are regarded as acceptable public casual dress in most locales there.

Later, in the 1990s, hip hop stars would popularize a similar style, known as the Sag, which allowed loosely fitting blue jeans or shorts to droop low, exposing the underwear.

Although it was worn for decades by exotic dancers, the g-string first gained popularity in South America, particularly in Brazil. It was originally a style of swimsuit made so that the back of the suit is so thin that it disappears between the buttocks.

By the 1990s, the design had made its way to most of the Western World, and thong underwear became popular. Today, thong underwear is one of the fastest selling styles available among women and is even gaining some popularity among men.

Origin of G-string

G-string or thong is probably the earliest form of clothing known to mankind; having originated in the warmer climates of sub-Saharan Africa where clothing was first worn nearly 75,000 years ago. Many tribal peoples, such as some of the Khoisan people of southern Africa, wore thongs for many centuries. Much like the 2000-plus-year-old Japanese fundoshi, these early garments were made with the male genitalia in mind.

Although developed for the male anatomy by primitive peoples, in the modern West thongs are more often worn by females. They first gained mainstream popularity as swimwear in South America, particularly in Brazil in the 1970s.

In Brazil, where the buttocks ("bunda" in Brazilian Portuguese slang) are especially admired and emphasized; it was originally a style of thong swimsuit whose rear area became so narrow that it would disappear between the wearer's buttocks. Female strippers and erotic dancers in the west have been wearing G-strings and thongs during their routines since the mid-1920s.

Men's underwear, 1990s to the present

Men's underwear styles in the present day have seen a dramatic shift in style when compared to the evolution of female styles in underwear. While women's underwear continued to emphasize feminine sexuality, around the late 1980s and early 1990s; particularly in the United States, men's underwear styles began to deemphasize sexuality, in favor of baggier and looser styles. This trend also became evident in swimwear, which grew longer and looser in this period as well as all other fashions which also became consciously baggier and less form fitting.

Not wearing undergarments

Not wearing undergarments under one's outer clothing is also known in American slang as freeballing for men or freebuffing for females; the terms going commando and going bareback are also used for both sexes. This trend shows that a few consider underwear unnecessary for hygiene, especially for modern people who bathe every day.

In situations where a certain amount of body coverage is required (legally or socially), people who prefer to go clothes free might enjoy not wearing undergarments, as that is the closest they can get to nudity. For others, there may be sexual motives; undergarments are the final physical barrier to sex, and not wearing them might be arousing.

Underwear exposed above trousers and not wearing it

Underwear is sometimes partly exposed above the trousers when sitting, bending over, etc., or permanently. This depends on the style of trousers (see also sagging, low-rise jeans, hip-hugger), the style of underwear, and the way they are worn. It may be accidental or deliberate. When women wearing thong underwear expose themselves in this way, it is sometimes called a "whale tail".

Man's Parfume

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:12:00 +0000

Perfumes For Men

When it comes to creating long lasting impression on women, the first thing men choose is class fragrances for men. Modern men wear perfumes as an indication of their style and passion. Perfumes for men speak about the wearer's attitude and defines a fashion statement for him. The market is flooded with a variety of cologne man perfumes. When it comes to accessorizing wardrobe, designer scents for guys occupy a supreme position.

Cologne perfumes have a higher concentration of alcohol. The terms 'perfume' and 'cologne' are often considered to be synonymous. But in reality they are different and the basic differentiation lies in the ratio of alcohol water base. When compared to colognes, perfumes are on a higher side in terms of essential oils. Also their fragrance retains for a long time and is more effective and prominent.

A diverse variety of elegant fragrance perfumes are stored in shopping malls and is among the top hot shopping list of men of all age groups. The gamut of scents is pretty extensive and encompasses price friendly mass fragrances to luxury prestigious fragrances and hip hop style celebrity fragrances. The specialty of mass fragrances lies in the fact that its like a double bonanza offer with a combo of high quality and reasonable price. The packaging is also good enough to lure people into trying it. Some good examples are Adidas and Revlon.

Prestigious fragrances are more of a status symbol indicative of richness and royalty. The popular names in this catalog are: Obsession, Pink, and Desire. They contain special ingredients for which people are ready to pay any amount. Celebrity fragrances are selling like real hot cakes. These scents are endorsed by people's favorite celebrities like Brittany Spears who make these products popular among people owing to their charismatic qualities. Glow and Curious are two such famous names in the list of celebrity fragrances. So, go make your own fashion style with your unique fragrance.

Men's Jeans For Body Type

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Thu, 28 May 2009 10:53:00 +0000

How To Find The Right Jeans For Different Men Body Type

Here is a jeans-shopping guide that will provide some tips on how to find the right jeans for different men body type. Read them and decide the men's jeans for your body type.

Baggy Jeans - highly funky and stylish, these Baggies are a great comfort to wear. You can wear them while having an evening walk with friends. It is the perfect choice for the Saturday cool buddy party. But this type is best for those men who are blessed with perfect physique and a good height who do not need to hide any physical flaws. But for overweight men, its not the right choice as it gives a further fatter look.

Carpenter/Worker Style - this is the type ideally meant for carrying out activities but anyways this style is no more to be seen. Only if you plan to take up the job of a carpenter, you can pick up one such pair otherwise it doesn't make much of sense.

Relaxed/Loose Fit Style - well the specialty of these jeans is that it's a combo of great comfort and a sleek look. They are apt for the relaxed Sunday mood. But remember too loose can give you a funny look and added to it will make you appear shorter and skinnier.

Boot Cut Jeans - the best part is that they give you a slimmer look. They are ideal to flatter your perfect body and just too good for an evening date. It will surely cast magic on your girlfriend and you'll find that she's totally impressed and that is what you want, right? So, now you know the trick. Don't get lured by the latest fashion jeans, but see what suits you and goes well in embellishing your personality.

Man Clothing Tips

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Thu, 28 May 2009 10:16:00 +0000

Clothing Style Tips For Men

Here are some clothing style tips for men that will provide guidelines regarding the right man fashion clothing for different body type. These man-clothing tips can be a great help in adorning you but you must follow the advice seriously.

Short waist men should avoid wearing trousers / jeans at waist. Low waist jeans are not the right type for you. Tucking your top would not be a very good option. Pullovers are apt for your personality. Short lengthy tank tops are a total no because they tend to highlight your short waist. Contrast concept wont look very good as it would interfere with the vertical flow. So a combo of pink shirt and black trouser should not be chosen. Ask your tailor to keep an inch higher on waist while taking measurement.

Long waist men need to do things the other way round when compared to short waisted guys. Guys your perfect fashion style is low waist jeans with a contrasting shade T-shirt tucked inside. Double breast jacket is just ideal for you so as to prevent people's eyes from falling particularly on your legs. So boys now are you understanding how to divert people's attention? Opt for belts with a big buckle.

Men with flat butts should firstly make sure that they wear proper fit pants. Straight leg trousers are just perfect for you because they divert the attention from back and camouflage your body feature. On the contrary there are men with big butts. For them it's important to wear proper undergarments, which includes biking shorts & boxer briefs as they tightly hold your body. Attire low waist pleated flat front trousers, as they would go well with your personality.

If you have a large belly, your wardrobe should have a combination of light fabric and dark color. Light shades tend to accentuate your big belly. You should make it a point to wear a vest as it prevents loose skin flow from taking place. Long sleeve T-shirt is the right kind for you. Avoid low waist jeans.

Even if you are dressed in ethnic clothing there are many options available with you but again as mentioned earlier all types are not meant for you.

Shorter men and fleshy guys should wear knee long kurtas. Tall guys can opt for calf length kurta also.

So guys by now you must have got a clear idea as to what would suit you so follow these tips and disguise your bad body features. We hope that next time you go shopping you'll be focused as to what you want & not get lured by styling or designing of apparel.

Bisexuality Myths

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Tue, 26 May 2009 06:07:00 +0000

Myths About Bisexuality
By Nathalie Himmelrich

Bisexuality is the potential to feel sexually attracted to and to engage in sensual or sexual relationships with people of either sex. A bisexual person may not be equally attracted to both sexes, and a degree of attraction may vary over time. This form of sexuality has created a lot of misconception and myth that need to be clarified:

These myths can be observed in the reactions towards bisexuals:
Straight male's reactions: Homophobic, hate and fear both bisexual and gay men, victimize, harass and are physically violent. Straight women's reactions: Towards bisexual men: Misguided fears about AIDS, 'stop sitting on the fence and make up your mind' attitude.

Towards bisexual women: fear they will make sexual overtures and try to 'convert' them to being bisexual.
Gay male's reactions: Bisexual men are really gay, but are in denial, should make up their mind and 'just get over it'.Lesbian's reactions: Distrust, 'sleeping with the enemy', betraying their allegiance to women and feminism, and hanging onto heterosexual privileges through relationship with men.The myths seem to be changing slowly. People have started to question the notion that sexuality has to be labeled.

For those of us whose sexuality doesn't fit neatly into a box it's all very encouraging. As sexologist Alfred Kinsey pointed out, many people's orientation lies somewhere between the extremes of gay and straight. Enforcing simplified categories is claustrophobic, dangerous and inaccurate. It reeks of separatism and results in lying about sexual preference in order to avoid stigma. Too bad if you want to experiment or if - shock horror - you suddenly change your mind.

Bisexuality challenges concepts of sexuality, traditional relationship and family structures, monogamy, gender, and identity. Bisexuals cannot conform or they would not be bisexual. Instead they must re-invent personal ethics and values for themselves, and create responsible lifestyles and relationships that serve their needs even though they do not fit anyone else's rules.

Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of 'Reach for the Sky Therapy' on Sydney's Northern Beaches and specialises in 'relationship related issues'. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment.

Bisexual Dating

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Tue, 26 May 2009 05:49:00 +0000

What is Bisexual Dating?
By Renato Pastorizo

One would do well to not confuse bisexuality with being gay or vice versa because bisexuality is truly a valid sexuality on its own. Bisexual people are completely different from bi-curious people who are usually heterosexuals that are interested only in "experimentation" to perk up their dull sex lives. This is fine and their right to do so, but it clouds the line of bisexuality for others that simply do not understand bisexuals or bisexual dating. It is a good thing then, that the media and internet have offered some rapid help in this arena with online bisexual dating sites. These sites are just for people interested in matchmaking with other bisexuals whether for a serious and long term commitment or just for a fun evening on some lonely night.

It used to be very hard for bisexuals to find dates without going to either straight or gay bars and just trying their luck, not knowing whether the person they were interested in would accept the fact that they were bisexual or turn them away. Many people on both sides of the fence (gay or straights) have a hard time with believing bisexuality is ligament and this creates big problems for bisexuals wishing to date. The web is now just filled with both free and commercial bisexual dating sites that offer such features to their members, such as chat, webcams, blogs, forums and instant messaging. No matter what their features the most important thing is that they offer safety and reliability to their members.

Most profiles on bidating sites are easily sorted through by location, sex and age and also by things like exactly what an individual is looking for and education and hobbies. Many also have great, detailed profiles so you can learn as much as you want about a person before deciding to talk to them or meet with them in person. Many websites that once catered to only straight couples are now including bisexuality in their list of searchable terms; this greatly increases the chance of a bisexual finding that perfect date. Much like any dating venue this can be a hard task and finding the right partner can take time and energy as well as lead to some possible disappointment.

The best bet for a bisexual however is to keep a profile at a large and regularity visited bisexual dating site and to post frequently there. It also helps to have a blog to link to on your profile such as one from Myspace or Facebook, this helps the other members see you are a real person and not a fake profile like so many that pop up on all sorts of dating sites. Keeping with a bisexual only dating site can help you find people that will not judge you and have gathered onto this bisexual dating site for the same reason you have. To find a match and have some sort of relationship with them. So if you are a bisexual looking for your dream date, try a bisexual dating site for a fun or serious time with a great bisexual single like yourself.

To Save a Marriage If You Have a Bisexual Spouse

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Tue, 26 May 2009 05:29:00 +0000

How to Save a Marriage If You Have a Bisexual Spouse
By Wendy R

Having a bisexual spouse is not that uncommon. Sexuality is not always a cut-and-dry matter. Sometimes a man or a woman could marry a heterosexual spouse, yet still maintain homosexual or bisexual feelings. Occasionally, this is due to wanting to maintain a straight persona for the public. Other times, it's because they have genuine love for their partner, (despite being gay on the inside). Yet, despite it all, at some point they may have to reveal their true feelings. And when this happens, the other party may wonder if their marriage can even be saved at all.

Well, approximately 20% of marriages involving heterosexuals and gay or a bisexual spouse that have made it through the storm. So, contrary to what some believe, it is possible for mixed-orientation marriages to thrive. But how can they do this, especially considering the situation?

Well, first off, just because a person is gay doesn't mean they have to sleep with everyone they come in contact with. Sure, they may meet a person that they're very attracted to, but they can still forgo temptation in hopes of keeping their marriage together.

In fact, this scenario is VERY common among heterosexual couples. Despite being married, men or women may find other people sexually attractive. However, they don't act on those feelings because they know it's wrong.

But in a mixed-orientation relationship, the temptation could be stronger. That's why both parties need to explore why the bisexual spouse feels this way. How a couple does this will depend on their personal preferences and religious background. Very religious mixed-orientation couples may try to use conversion therapy to forego homosexual temptation. Others may actually allow the gay spouse to have homosexual relationships outside of the marriage.I

personally don't agree with either of these approaches. Why? Well, the religious approach may make the gay spouse feel bad about themselves, while the other approach advocates affairs, (a game that often carries both physical and emotional consequences). Ultimately, I believe that if a person is considering having an affair, gay or straight, they need to get out of the marriage.

On the other end of the spectrum, I do believe that the gay spouse's sexual feelings need to be addressed. Porn and/or erotica can help in this endeavor because it doesn't result in any romantic attachments. Sex therapy may also help address these issues, especially if the heterosexual spouse feels they are unable to satisfy their partner. But once these feelings manifests into physical actions with another person, there are bound to be problems, which is why I would say stay away from that avenue altogether. While it is acceptable identifying oneself as a bisexual spouse, it is not acceptable to break one's marriage vows.

Don't let a bisexual spouse ruin your marriage. You can get through it and get on with your marriage.

Gay Super-Couples

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Tue, 26 May 2009 05:08:00 +0000

Top 10 Qualities of Gay Super-Couples

By Brian Rzepczynski

Introduction

So what makes a healthy and lasting long-term gay relationship successful? Our society certainly doesn't make it easy for us as gay men to date and mate with all the homophobia and discrimination that exists. Though this is slowly starting to change in many parts of the world, man-to-man love continues to be stigmatized and this backdrop of cultural oppression and hatred can put a strain on a gay couple's budding relationship that many heterosexual pairs may take for granted.

As a gay community, we lack adequate and visible positive role models of gay couples that provide hope for lasting relationship success. As men, we've been conditioned to define our masculinity in rigid and narrow ways as part of the socialization process growing up and this can create conflict when pairing up two individuals of the same gender looking for intimacy and emotional connection. And then we have our own layers of discrimination and pressure in our own gay community that at times can leave gay couples feeling unsupported and uninspired to achieve relationship longevity in the one place they thought they'd be safe-among their own.

While the odds do seem to be stacked against us in the fight for the dream of claiming our rightful husband with the accompanying house, white picket fence, and prideful rainbow flag securely attached to the front porch, they don't have to be obstacles to our success. Having to face so much adversity has actually enabled many of us to be quite resilient in the face of stress and makes us good candidates for partnerships with the right focus and determination. There are many gay men in long-term relationships who can vouch for their fulfillment of this dream and speak of happiness and bliss in their coupled status. But what are the ingredients that make a healthy gay relationship?

Characteristics of Successful Gay Couples

There is no specific blueprint or formula for how to maintain a lasting and successful relationship. One of the beauties of being gay is that we can create our own definitions of what constitutes an ideal relationship for ourselves as we are not hampered down by restrictive gender roles and norms like our heterosexual counterparts. Each couple develops their own unique partnership that works for them. That being said, there are some universal qualities that can promote a more solid and functional relationship over the long haul for partners seeking long-term connection and happiness.

Successful gay couples can exhibit some of the following ...

1. They share compatible interests and philosophies of life

It's important that partners have similar interests and hobbies to share in common to build experiences with together, but it's also essential to have some differences as well to complement each other. This helps to keep the mystery and intrigue alive in the relationship that exists with contrast. Who wants to have an exact replica of themselves that they interact with on a daily basis?! Boring! What is absolutely critical, however, is that both partners will have a smoother and more fulfilling relationship if they share comparable value systems. This forms the foundation of what the couple believes in and is the diving board from which they co-create a vision for their future together as a united front and alliance for life.

2. They openly communicate with each other and stay engaged in each other's lives

This involves direct and honest dialogue about the mundane aspects of life to the serious thoughts and feelings that get triggered as a part of relationship dynamics. The partners create a climate in their home where each feels safe and comfortable sharing vulnerable aspects of themselves with each other and are attuned to each other's needs. Listening skills are primed and each feels like an active participant in the relationship. Issues are not swept under the rug and are dealt with immediately in an assertive and caring way.

3. They manage conflict productively

Healthy gay couples recognize that conflict is an inevitable and normal part of a relationship, seeing these "rough spots" as opportunities for growth and positive change in their partnership. They deal with their anger in constructive ways, avoid hurtful comments and assigning of blame, and take the time to understand and validate each other's points of views before initiating collaborative problem-solving to try and reach a win/win solution. They are open to compromise and sacrifice and always keep a teamwork stance in negotiating their differences.

4. They have a balanced lifestyle comprised of both individual and couple identities

In relationships it's important to have time devoted to nourishing the relationship and also to focus on individual interests and pursuits. Too much "couple identity" causes both partners to feel suffocated. Too much "individual identity" creates a feeling of being disconnected and living as roommates. Striking a positive balance of both brings in just enough freshness and vitality to the relationship where boundaries are strong and healthy. Each partner feels supported by the other for striving for their own personal growth and goals without feeling threatened because the relationship vision is also being attended to simultaneously.

5. They have fun with life and try not to take things so seriously

Life can be stressful, so why add to the tension with a hardened demeanor? Successful couples are those that are playful with each other, enjoy a humorous banter between the two of them, and feel energized by such things as tickling, cracking jokes, pulling pranks on each other, and being perverted with each other. All things are done in a loving way and this approach to their interactivity creates an atmosphere of laughter and celebration for being in each other's lives.

6. They enjoy a sensual and sexual camaraderie that helps them to meet their erotic potential

The happiest couples tend to report enjoying nonsexual affection in their daily lives through spontaneous touch, verbal strokes, holding hands, cuddling, and massage. They also understand the importance of maintaining a passionate sexual connection through regular pleasuring sessions and keeping their erotic lives energetic and enjoyable. Even for those couples in "open relationships", the sexual relationship with their partner remains an important component of intimacy for them and they find ways to meet each other's needs, even when one isn't necessarily in the mood.

7. They have a supportive network of family and friends who honor their relationship

Having the backing and encouragement of loved ones can be a great impetus for reinforcing a gay couple's commitment. Surrounding themselves with positive and affirming people can be a great boost.

8. They are comfortable with their sexuality and not afraid to show it

Sexual identity struggles and internalized homophobia can really drag a relationship down unless both men tend to be in the same boat with their levels of outness. Confident and successful gay couples are comfortable being in relationship with each other no matter the setting or public domain. Whether it's trying out a mattress at the local bedding store or attending a social function in a mixed-orientation crowd, these couples feel secure enough in their identities and relationship to combat any potential homophobia they may face by proudly being themselves. Being able to be free and uninhibited is a truly liberating feeling for a gay couple.

9. They possess the following in their partnership: trust, commitment, honesty, openness, flexibility, loyalty, dedication and devotion, quality time, sensitivity, nonjudgmental attitudes, loving and unafraid to express their feelings and passionate side, etc.

These are obvious hallmark characteristics that typify a healthy relationship, but gay men in particular are vulnerable to power struggles, competition, and issues surrounding intimacy and closeness due to male socialization in their man-to-man relationships. Successful couples are aware of these pitfalls and work hard to embrace a holistic masculinity that counters the stereotypes they've been engrained with.

10. They place a high premium on their lives together and are focused on not taking each other for granted

Successful gay couples realize that the busyness of life can very easily put their relationship on the back shelf, but they don't let it! They ensure that they devote quality time together, schedule special "date nights" with each other, and are attentive to each other's needs. They make sure they are diligently working toward their shared relationship vision, validate their partner in the ways he likes it most, and make sure to show through words and actions how much they appreciate their guy being in their lives.

Conclusion

So how did you and your partner do? These are only some of the qualities that comprise a healthy gay relationship and it's up to you and your man to define the parameters of what that would look and feel like for your unique relationship. Use these tips as a springboard to discuss how things are going in your relationship to gauge your strengths and areas for growth and craft an action plan to make things even better between the two of you.

© 2009 Brian L. Rzepczynski

Tips on Gay Flirting

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Tue, 26 May 2009 04:44:00 +0000

Some Nice Tips on Gay Flirting

By Francis K. Githinji

Flirting is fun for everyone and the gay community has not been left behind. Just like in any relationship where by it starts off with flirting, most gay relationships also start this way. There are various ways that you can flirt and get someone who is interested in you to flirt with you. Compliments have always worked and if you used them correctly, they will not let you down. If you see something in the person you like throw a compliment his way. It could be about his smile, the way he is dressed, anything. Just make sure you get it right and you do not go complimenting him on something that is definitely not good, if he does not have a good sense of humor, you will end up with a black eye and gay flirting will not have worked for you.

Hold the person's eyes when gay flirting. The eyes always communicate more, they tell the person that you are since. A simple look at the person will mean that you like them and it could also be a welcome. Tell the person you have taken a liking to that you do by flirting with them with the eyes. This is how you should do it, look at the person longer than you would, make sure you are looking at his eyes, and then slowly move to any other part of the body when you are sure that you have got his attention. This way, he will know for sure that you like them and you would like to get to know them better or that you would like to be in a relationship with them.

When talking to the person and you intend to flirt with him, whisper to him. Tell the person anything in a whisper. This way you will capture his attention more than you would if you talked to him in a leveled voice. When gay flirting match the tone of your voice to his or try to mimic the person you are talking to. That is, try to talk like the person who is talking to you. This way, you will make the person feel like you admire them. We all do that, try to imitate the person we admire and love, we will talk like them and even sometimes walk like them.

Do not ever try to make any sexual advances on your first day of gay flirting. If you have been flirting for a while it is okay to do that but if you have never met before any sexual advance you make will not be welcomed. Do not try it at all. Flirt with everything else you got and using any skill that have acquired or you were born with because flirting is just one of those things that human beings were born with but what ever you do keep any sexual advances to yourself. Go ahead and flirt today, get yourself that person you have been admiring for ages or that person you just saw across the room that you have suddenly felt something special on him. Do not be shy, however do not also be cocky it will not do you any good.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Gay Flirting Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Gay Flirting

Daniel Radcliffe Biography

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Sun, 24 May 2009 03:02:00 +0000

The Complete Biography of Harry Potter's Role

By Claire; Edited by Coralie, Mary and Jenna

In The Beginning ....

Daniel Jacob Radcliffe was born on 23rd July 1989 in the London suburb of Fulham. From the tender age of five, Dan expressed an interest in acting, although his early experience was limited to playing a monkey in a school production. (Today, Dan’s perspective on his first role today is "I hope no one ever finds any pictures of that!"). He became officially involved in the acting profession "by accident".

He had missed out on auditioning for a part in a television production of Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist - his parents didn't think it would be a very good idea - but he was destined to make his small screen debut as another of Dickens' famous titular characters: David Copperfield, starring alongside Maggie Smith and Bob Hoskins.

"A friend suggested that I audition, as a bit of fun, for the role of David Copperfield. I never expected to actually get the part as I knew there would be hundreds of boys trying for it, so when I did, it came as a huge surprise."

The annual Christmas BBC period drama is very popular in the UK and this 1999 adaptation of the classic novel was particularly well received. Copperfield producer Kate Harwood had these comments after working with Dan:

"He has a particular quality of naturalness and innocence. One normally dreads working with child actors, but in his case he was wonderful. He has a great deal of charm and simplicity."

Dan followed up his appearance in "David Copperfield" by taking a small part, to gain some experience, in the film "The Tailor of Panama" released in March 2001. He played Mark Pendel, the son of Harry and Louisa Pendel, who were played by Geoffrey Rush and Jamie Lee Curtis. While the filming was taking place, a major talent search was underway in the UK to find someone to portray a certain popular literary character and Curtis was struck by a particular insight:

"One day I was looking at Daniel, who was standing beside the swimming pool. I turned to his mother and said: 'He could be Harry Potter.' "

The Role Of A Lifetime

It was Dan's "charm and simplicity" that caught the eye of Chris Columbus and David Heyman whilst on the search for a young British actor to bring to life the lead character of what is arguably the modern literary world's most successful phenomenon: Harry Potter. This was going to be no mean feat for whoever won the role and superb casting of the part was, of course, vital to the film. Director Columbus had seen a tape of "David Copperfield" and had badgered his casting director into calling its young star in for an audition.

However, Dan's understandably protective parents were reluctant to subject their son to any gruelling audition process only to have his hopes dashed and so the life-altering role was at first turned down. But serendipity smiled down on Dan one evening in a theatre: producer David Heyman and screenwriter Steve Kloves spotted him with his parents in the audience while watching the play 'Stones in his Pockets'. Heyman knew Dan's father through business connections and introduced himself to Dan during the interval. He then spent the second half of the play totally distracted by his potential Harry.

The next morning, Heyman called Dan's parents to try to persuade them to change their minds about letting him audition and... discovered that they had already had the same idea! They agreed to an informal meeting between Dan and David Heyman and, once they were confident that he would be protected as much as possible from the media glare if offered the role, agreed that Dan should go for an audition. Then one night while taking a bath, Dan heard his father answer the phone:

"My dad came in and told me I'd got the part of Harry Potter. I cried, I was so happy. I woke up in the middle of the night, around half two, and I woke up my dad too, just to check with him that it wasn't all a dream. That I really was going to be Harry Potter."

The casting of Dan, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson in the lead roles of Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger was subsequently announced in August 2000. Importantly, Potter author Joanne (JK) Rowling gave Dan her seal of approval - when she saw Dan's screen test, she claimed that she felt that "it was like being reunited with [her] long-lost son":

"Having seen Dan Radcliffe's screen test I don't think Chris Columbus could have found a better Harry... I think Dan nailed it, and I am really pleased."
Production of "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's (Sorcerer's) Stone" began in September 2000 and the worldwide interest in the film was unprecedented. It was released on 16th November 2001 and was praised widely for its faithful adaptation of Rowling's book, going on to become the second-highest grossing film of all time, behind "Titanic". Also praised widely was its young star ("... a wonderful Harry... young Radcliffe is perfect as Harry... seems to have been born to play the part...") who found himself on the cover of practically every entertainment magazine of the moment. Numerous TV appearances in the UK and US followed and curious audiences began to discover the boy behind the lightning-bolt scar. Fan sites began to spring up across the Internet. A star was born.

Into The Chamber

Filming of the sequel, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets", began a mere three days after the first film was released. Frequently described as "a lot darker, a lot scarier... and a lot funnier" than the first film, "Chamber of Secrets" was more of a straightforward action movie and received generally positive reviews when it was released on 15th November 2002. History repeated itself as the film smashed transatlantic box office records and it is currently the ninth-highest grossing film of all time.

Those who worked with Dan on the film have lavished praise on him. Kenneth Branagh has spoken of his joy in working with such a well-balanced young cast. The special effects team were amazed by Dan’s ability to act convincingly opposite a ball on a stick in the scenes involving Dobby the House Elf, before the CGI creature was added. Chris Columbus, speaking after the release of "Chamber of Secrets", was more precise:

"What used to take eight or nine takes, now we do it in two or three. Particularly Dan. He has almost become a mini action hero. He is really strong and I like that strength about him because Harry Potter needs to develop that strength... He is incredibly focused. I've seen actors twice his age who couldn't give as convincing a performance."

After the promotional whirl of the UK and US, Dan took a little time out from promoting the film to make his West End stage debut in November 2002 in "The Play What I Wrote", directed by Kenneth Branagh. The play, which is a tribute to former top British comedy duo Morecambe and Wise, has a different surprise guest every night and makes them perform a humorous sketch. Says Dan of his experiences:

"It was great fun. I had never been on stage before so it was a little scary at first but it certainly gave me the desire to do more on stage."

Something Wicked This Way Comes

The majority of 2003 was taken up with the filming of "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban". In preparation, new director Alfonso Cuaron (who has a "much more laid back, emotional, intense way of directing") had Dan, Rupert and Emma write essays on their characters, which Dan found useful. An excellent interview by TLC editor Melissa Anelli quotes Dan as listening to music to prepare for particular scenes, and having lengthy conversations with his father regarding his life experiences in order to portray the passionate emotions that Harry displays in the book.

"There's a lot of teenage angst in this one, probably more than the book. It's much more of an internal journey for the children, especially for Harry. And he's much more comfortable with confrontation, especially with Snape. He's a lot angrier. If you had all this stuff happening to you in real life, you'd be pretty angry too."

The third film was a special experience for Dan since one of his idols, Gary Oldman, was tapped to play the role of Sirius Black, the Prisoner of Azkaban. As always, Dan and his costars received praise from the director and producers for their work. Director Alfonso Cuaron observed that he was most fortunate to come into the series with the three young stars established in their roles: “It was so clear how suited these kids are to play their characters.” Chris Columbus added that “it’s a sense of real pride to see that these kids have become such accomplished professional actors. It’s like seeing your own children up on screen.”

"Prisoner of Azkaban" was released on 4th June 2004 winning praise from critics as the best Potter film yet. Even though it was a darker gloomier film under Cuaron’s direction, the third movie continued the winning Potter tradition by grossing nearly $800 million worldwide, placing it currently at sixteenth in worldwide box-office receipts.

The Triwizard Tournament

"Dark and difficult times lie ahead, Harry. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right... and what is easy." (Albus Dumbledore). Even before the release of Prisoner of Azkaban, production had begun in the spring of 2004 on the next film, “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.” Directed by Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Mona Lisa Smile), this film promised to be the most exciting installment yet. Since 'Goblet' was a highly action packed thriller that centers on an elaborate contest know as the Tri-Wizard Tournament, the physical requirements were much tougher this time around. For a scene taking place during the second task of the Tournament, Dan actually had to learn to scuba-dive and then act underwater. During the battle with the dragon, Dan’s stunts included a 50 foot drop off a rocky embankment.

And to insure that 'Goblet' is the ultimate action thriller, Harry has to bleed! Dan admits that "there is even blood flowing!" But he reassures his fans with a well placed quip and a grin:

"Of course it´s not my own, but film blood! However, I did cut my fingers on a page of the script. That hurt like hell!"

Aside from the action, there are also fresh acting opportunities for Dan as he endures a long feud with his best friend, seeks a date for the Yule Ball, learns to dance and faces his resurrected nemesis. On the awkwardness of a boy’s first crush, he jokes that “when I was 14, you know, I was slightly better than Harry but not much… when I was with a girl, I had to say really clever things and the more you try to be clever, the more chance you have of looking stupid!”

About a climactic scene in which Harry hands over the body of a fellow contestant to the boy's father after battling his mortal foe, Lord Voldemort, Dan says: "I had to tap into emotions that I personally never felt, that most people have never felt. Because they were challenging, it does make them fun."

The fourth movie in the Harry Potter series, "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire", released on 18 November 2005 was another rousing success with the young stars holding their own in scenes with some of the UK’s leading actors including Ralph Fiennes and Brendon Gleeson. The movie outperformed the 2nd and 3rd films in the series to bring in nearly $900 million at the box office placing it at number seven on the all time box office total worldwide.

First Kiss

Potter fans worldwide have long anticipated Harry’s first onscreen kiss in the fifth installment of the series, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," directed by David Yates, scheduled for release in June of 2007. Dan surprised and delighted fans by accepting a part between Potter films in the screen adaptation of the Michael Noonan novel, December Boys, directed by Ron Hardy (The Sullivans).

Dan plays the role of one of four orphaned boys in 1960’s Australia, competing for the attention of a possible adoptive family. Interest in the novel and in the film have exploded since Dan signed on for the role, his first outside the Harry Potter franchise since 2001. Fan excitement has peaked ever more by the news that Dan will have his first onscreen kiss in this movie with actress Teresa Palmer. His perspective on that special moment is simply this...

“My first kiss in the movie was fantastic. But in real life, I’m not very good with women, like Harry Potter, but you know, any boy who says he’s never felt awkward around a girl is lying.”

In an official press release for the film, Richard Becker, of Becker Entertainment, had this to say about Dan:

“Daniel is an actor with talent and intelligence beyond his years. He can step into any role and deliver a brilliant performance. December Boys is a compelling and charming story reminiscent of Stand By Me. It appears audiences continue to seek films with heart and meaning and I believe that December Boys has that special quality. We are thrilled that Daniel has chosen it as his next starring vehicle."

The movie was filmed in Australia from November 2005 to January 2006 to avoid conflict with the production of "Order of the Phoenix" which began shortly thereafter. "December Boys" is scheduled for release in December 2006 in the United States, Australia and the UK.

Dark Horse

Daniel took on a role in the controversial play "Equus" at the Gielgud Theatre in London early 2007. He portrayed 17 year-old Alan Strang, who is sent to a hospital to undergo psychological treatment after blinding six horses. There he teaches his doctor (Richard Griffiths) the true meaning of passion and belief. The audience lives within Strang's unique psychosis and in turn finds a passion and spiritual awakening of its own through his madness.

Daniel really set the tone of the production with an amazing performance, proving once and for all he is more than just "Harry Potter". Throughout the entire show Radcliffe was well poised, well spoken, in character and emotionally charged. He hit every mark spot on; he portrayed the right balance between insanity and reverence, spirituality and emptiness, awakening and shutting down; it just all clicked in one go. He definitely struck the right balance on stage.

Daniel says about the play, "It was one of those things where I think any 17 year-old boy with aspirations to act for the rest of their lives...if they were offered that part in that production being directed by Thea Sharrock, and next to Richard Griffiths, you’d be really stupid to say no! It's an amazing play and that was the reason for it."

"Equus" was a very popular night out on the West End in London, and each night oodles of fans could be found congregating at the back door waiting for Daniel to appear after the show. Along with the fans were the paparazzi, but there was a solution to the paparazzi problem. "Basically what we would do was...I would wear the same outfit every single time with different t-shirts underneath, but I’d wear the same jacket, zip it up so they couldn’t see what I was wearing underneath, and the same hat, so they could take photos for six months but it would look like the same day," laughs Daniel.

Dan will soon get the chance to wear the same hat and jacket once again when he reprises his role in "Equus" on Broadway in September of 2008.

Behind The Glasses

There are a few parallels to be drawn between the apprentice wizard and Dan. Thrust into the limelight at an early age, both Harry and Dan have had to deal with the hazards of the media circus. Both are coping well. It is possible to imagine Dan walking the corridors of his school with people muttering "Bless my soul, it's Daniel Radcliffe!" but happily, this does not seem to be the case! Dan says that his life has changed surprisingly little since taking on the role of the world’s most famous boy wizard. When Dan himself is asked what qualities he shares with the bespectacled schoolboy hero, he states that loyalty, curiosity, standing up for himself and a propensity to land himself in trouble are the greatest similarities. His friends are, like Harry's, incredibly important and they have not changed their attitude towards him since stardom has struck.

Dan attends an all-boys private school in London when not receiving private tutoring on set and he has diverse interests. He supports his local football (soccer) team, Fulham, and looks after his two dogs, Binka and Nugget. He has credited Chris Columbus with giving him a love of film, and counts ‘Apollo 13’, '12 Angry Men', ‘Moulin Rouge’ and 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' among his favourites. He has developed a love of classic punk music (The Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Pixies) and he isn’t at all shy about sharing his opinions on any band. He has a lot to keep him occupied in his free time - practising the bass guitar, really studying magic (he's a dab hand at card tricks), working out and trying his hand at writing his own stories.

Over the last several years, Dan has put his fame and influence to good use, quietly engaging in charity projects. In May 2002, Dan contributed to a video which is designed to help autistic people learn to recognise facial expressions, an act which inspired fans here at DanRadcliffe.com to raise over £2000 for the National Autistic Society to mark his 14th birthday.

In March 2003, a lock of his hair and an autograph raised over £750 for the British charity Comic Relief, which benefits deprived areas in the UK and around the world. In February 2005, Dan’s autographed Hogwart’s Crew T-Shirt was auctioned by the Tsunami Celebrity Clothes Auction to raise over £500 for victims in Southeast Asia.

Dan also participated on the buyer’s side of a recent charity auction by submitting the winning bid for a handwritten copy of the Sirius Black family tree donated by J.K. Rowling to Book Aid International. Another very worthwhile cause that he has chosen to support is Demelza House Children's Hospice in Kent, south-east England. Dan's request to fans that they make a donation to Demelza House has raised thousands of pounds to help improve the quality of life for terminally ill children (click here for details).

Reviews of Dan's portrayal of Harry Potter thus far have been consistently positive and, in February 2002, he won the Variety Club Award for Outstanding New Talent. Since then, he has received a number of popular awards, including two Silver Otto Awards from German magazine "Bravo", TIME for Kids 2002 Person of the Year, "Relly" Awards for Junior Achiever of the Year from the Regis and Kelly show in the US in 2003 and 2004, and Best Actor awards from 7 Extra Magazine (Belgium, Jan 2006), Roadshow Magazine (China, August 2004), and the KZONE Kids Choice Awards (July 2004).

The enormous success of the Potter franchise doesn't seem to faze the young actor. He has stated that he never watches his performances once the premieres are over and, in order to stay focused and grounded, does not pay attention to his own press.

"To this day I have never ever read a word that has been printed about me or the films - and I never ever watch interviews I have given on television."

Playing the world’s most beloved young wizard has had another side effect - Dan has earned quite a large female following recently, which is doubtless set to increase this year! He has received thousands of letters, but does he consider himself a heartthrob? Comes the modest reply:

"Personally I can't see it, but if other people can, fine. Cool!"

Unfogging The Future

What's next for the remarkably mature young actor, whose exquisite manners, talent and charm have cast such a spell over the cinematic world? "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" will be in theaters November 21, 2008. He is also signed up for the final Potter films, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" part one and two, coming in 2010 and 2011 respectively.

In the long term, Dan has expressed an interest in acting and directing. Does he have any preference with regard to role or genre?

"I would consider doing any part as long as the script is good and the film has an interesting director, but it would be a mistake to want to show you can do stuff other than Harry Potter so badly that you just rush into something."

As an experienced actor, Dan is well aware of what’s important in the film industry! Dan has now worked alongside half of Britain's A-List actors, such as Alan Rickman, Kenneth Branagh, Julie Walters, Gary Oldman, Ralph Fiennes and the late, great Richard Harris. When asked who else he would like to work with, Jake Gyllenhaal, Geoffrey Rush (who played Dan’s father in "The Tailor of Panama") and Robert Carlyle are at the top of the list.

It is safe to say that whatever path he chooses, Daniel Radcliffe will probably continue to charm all those he meets. The staff of DanRadcliffe.com are very excited about what’s in store for 2008 and beyond, and we wish Dan all the very best in the years to come which should see his star shine even more brightly in the sky than it does already.

Do not reproduce any part of this biography. This is copyright to DanRadcliffe.com.

Penis Enlargement Work

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Mon, 18 May 2009 05:57:00 +0000

How Does Penis Enlargement Work?

By Civita Dyer, eHow Editor

Men put much importance on the size of their penis in the belief that if their organ is thicker and longer, they would be able to satisfy their partners better and in the process be as macho possible. This is why the media is flooded with advertisements (and spam) about penis enlargement of all types. People who have gone through bad relationships or are planning to get into serious relationships are often tempted to try these out, in spite of doctors vehemently stressing that there no such thing possible as non-surgical penis enlargement.

There are many ways that promise penis enlargement, which include herbal pills, herbal ointments, pumps and exercises, among others. All of these serve to only one purpose: enlargement of the penis.

Herbs
There are two things that make a penis small: the inability to have a full erection and the actual length of the penis. Most of the herbal medicines sold on the market help in improving the quality of the erection. When the penis achieves full erection, it is largest and thickest. When men who are not able to achieve this full erection take these pills, they find that their penis does indeed "grow." Actually, the increase in size is due to the herb's ability of pushing the penis to grow the hardest and largest erection. One great plus point here is that such pills seldom have any negative side effects.

Vacuum Penis Pumps
This works on the same principle: get the greatest amount of blood into the penis so the man gets the biggest and hardest erection. In other words, the penis is stretched at the most due to the flood of blood into it. The increased growth in length and width is mainly because now the erection is at its best. Beware that some vacuum pumps may result in nerve damage and even impotence, if these are overused

Exercises
This, in combination with pills that promote optimal flow of blood into the penis when excited, can actually help in achieving extra growth. The penis, being a muscle, responds well to exercises--something very similar as building your biceps with exercises. When these exercises are combined with pills that improve the quality of erection, there may be a visible difference in both length and width of the penis.

Herbal Ointments
This is yet another way to manipulate the function of the penis to stretch. Herbal ointments usually contain the same ingredients that pills have, and help the penis achieve and sustain a full erection. The ointment's role is often to numb the nerves in the head of the penis so as to allow it to build a sufficiently strong erection that can be maintained long enough to satisfy your partner; plus the numbness will help you prevent premature ejaculation.

Conclusion
As you can see, penis enlargement is normally achieved by promoting and sustaining the maximum possible erection of the penis. In some tribes in Africa, the penis is enlarged by tying weights to it for years until they are satisfied with the length. However, this process is dangerous as it stretches and actually weakens the muscles of the penis.

Tips for Corpora Cavernosa

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Mon, 18 May 2009 05:14:00 +0000

Corpora Cavernosa Exercises

By Angela Herrie, eHow Editor

Corpora cavernosa exercise instructions are marketed all over the Internet as a form of natural male enhancement. The problem with corpora cavernosa exercises is that they are largely unproven, and they may actually be dangerous if executed improperly. Before engaging in any male enhancement routine, you should consult with your primary physician.

Jelqing
Corpora cavernosa exercises are rumored to enhance erectile health. The common name for corpora cavernosa exercise is jelqing. The name is purportedly derived from a Middle Eastern slang term for masturbation. The exercise itself does indeed resemble masturbation, but it is much more stressful to the genitalia.

Misconceptions
Those that utilize jelqing exercises are under the impression that they can expand blood vessels in the erectile tissue (corpora cavernosa). This has never been proven to be a valid claim. The exercises may cause swelling and broken blood vessels, which can cause an erection to look enlarged.

Smooth Muscles
Another misconception is that the muscles within the penis can be strengthened and enlarged. This is nearly impossible. Smooth muscle tissue is the same type of tissue found in the uterus, bladder and stomach. You cannot work out smooth muscle tissue for male enhancement.

Technique
The corpora cavernosa exercise techniques vary a bit from one book or website to another. Essentially they all entail warming the genital area, applying lubrication, stretching the penis, and firmly massaging the blood into the erectile corpora cavernosa tissue.

Cost
The price of corpora cavernosa exercise routines online vary from around $20 to $50, as of 2009. All of these exercise plans are essentially the same, but few are authored by anyone in the healthcare industry. If you are considering trying corpora cavernosa exercises, you can find the technique detailed on many websites for free.

Warning
Corpora cavernosa exercises are not a proven form of male enhancement. Those that choose to attempt to enhance themselves through jelqing should use caution when moving forward. Those that are not cautious in their exercise routine can cause damage to the genitals including torn tissue and ruptured blood vessels.

Do Exercises for the Corpora Cavernosa

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:47:00 +0000

How to Do Exercises for the Corpora Cavernosa

By Paul Bright, eHow Editor

The corpora cavernosa is the tissue chamber located in the penis that is responsible for making it erect. The penis cannot enlarge on its own; when aroused, your brain sends hormone signals that tell the body to fill the corpora cavernosa with blood. Therefore, if you wish to enlarge your penis, you must first strengthen and lengthen your corpora cavernosa muscle. This article will describe some exercises to help you do just that.

Things You'll Need:
Baby oil or anti-friction lubricant

Instructions

Step 1
Locate the corpora cavernosa chambers. They are found on the top and in the middle of the penis. (The area at the bottom of the penis is the corpora spongium.)

Step 2
Rub your hands with baby oil or another frictionless lubricant. Don't overuse the oil, or you will lose the feel for the corpora cavernosa area that you are about to exercise. Use enough lubricant to last for five to 10 minutes before completely drying.

Step 3
Make your penis semi-erect. Do not use any heavy stimulants, such as pornography or a partner. It is advised that you use something more natural, like your own light touching or a soft breeze.

Step 4
Place your thumb on the underside of your penis. Wrap the rest of your fingers around the top and middle of your penis and lightly stroke downwards toward the head. Alternate hands, remembering to touch lightly. Continue the alternating movements for three minutes.

Step 5
Apply more oil and rub your hands together to make them warm. When sufficiently warm, hold your hand on your penis in the same position as in Step 4. Hold it in place for one minute and then slowly rub down toward the head. Rub your hands together again and switch hands, performing the same movement.

Step 6
Repeat the technique from Step 4, then wash your penis with warm water and a washcloth. Allow your penis to air dry and return to its flaccid state.

Enlarge Penis With Exercise

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:35:00 +0000

How to Enlarge Your Penis With Exercise

By bestcc (http://www.ehow.com)

There are several ways to increase your penis. From pills to pumps to machines and special exercise, you have a lot of methods at your disposal. If you're all for the natural method, then a penis enlargement exercise is the best way to increase your penis size. With a few minutes a day, you could have a larger penis.

Instructions

Step 1
Warm up. As in all exercises, you need to warm up before you perform more rigorous exercises. Wet a small towel with warm water and wrap it around your penis and testicles for about a minute. Repeat this twice or thrice or until you feel that you're warmed up enough for the exercise.

Step 2
The Jelq. Apply lubricant onto your penis; you should have a partial erection. Using your thumb and forefinger, grab your penis to trap the blood at the tip. Move your fingers down towards the tip to get blood to flow to the tip. Repeat five to ten times.

Step 3
Warm down. Again, grab a small towel and wet it with warm water. Wrap the towel around your penis and testicles for one minute.

Things You'll Need

You can either be sitting or standing while doing the Jelq.
The warm towel might not be the most pleasant sensation.
At the slightest discomfort, remove the towel, wait for a few seconds, and try again.

Tips & Warnings

You can either be sitting or standing while doing the Jelq.The warm towel might not be the most pleasant sensation. At the slightest discomfort, remove the towel, wait for a few seconds, and try again.

Enlarge Your Penis

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:04:00 +0000

How to Enlarge Your Penis

By eHow Health Editor

Unless you have surgery, there is no safe way to enlarge your penis, so don't waste your time and money on pills, herbs, creams, devices or exercises. But there are ways to make your penis look bigger and to feel better about the penis you have.

Instructions

Step 1
Realize that most men have penises that measure between 5 and 7 inches long and 1 or 2 inches in diameter. While some people may enjoy a larger penis, a man with an average-sized penis is more than capable of satisfying his sexual partner. Size doesn't matter, and those who claim it does are only saying so to be hurtful.

Step 2
Know that your penis will become thicker as you age.

Step 3
Make your penis appear longer by trimming your pubic hair, losing some weight and standing up straight. Don't look down at your penis; it will seem smaller than it is. Instead, look at it in a mirror.

Step 4
Stop comparing yourself with other men. Flaccid penises vary greatly in size, but erect penises don't. Remember that the male actors in pornographic videos were cast for their highly unusual penis sizes. In addition, those well-endowed porn stars will have considerably more trouble attaining and maintaining their erections when they are older.

Step 5
Keep in mind that if a safe and effective way to enlarge a penis really existed, all male urologists would have huge penises. And they would never have any open appointment times in their schedules.

Tips & Warnings

Penis enlargement surgery sometimes results in a misshapen penis, loss of sensation and even loss of function. It should only be performed if the penis is considerably smaller than average--so small that sex isn't possible.
Some men trying penis enlargement methods are fooled into thinking that swelling due to irritation of the penis is evidence that their penises are getting larger.
Stretching devices, pumps and weights can damage your penis.

The Truth About Penis Enlargement

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:09:00 +0000

Why Penis Enlargement Techniques Don't Work

By Ramon Johnson, About.com

Penis size is a sensitive issue for many men, including gay men; and penis enlargement is a big business. But, before you try the numerous products on the market promising to make your penis bigger, know the facts and beware of false techniques.

What is the average penis size?

The average penis is five to seven inches (127 to 178 mm) long when erect (measured from the tip of the penis head to the abdomen). Read The Truth About Penis Size for more penis facts and myths.

What are the common penis enlargement techniques?

Vacuum Pumps
Vacuum pumps promise to increase the size of the penis by forcing blood into the penile shaft through suction. This method may sound reasonable and easy to perform, but it can result in loss of feeling, impotence and damaged blood vessels.

Medication and Pills
Always beware of advertised miracle pills, especially ones that promise to make your penis bigger. Since there is no FDA-approved medication for penis enhancement, advertised penis enlargement pills are not regulated. As a result, there is no guarantee as to what ingredients or medications the supposed penis enhancement pill contains. These meds can pose serious health risks. Not to mention, the pill may be a placebo.

Hanging Weights
Some believe penis enhancement can be achieved by hanging weights from the tip of the penis repeatedly over time. This is perhaps the oldest method of enhancement, but there is no scientific basis and any enlargement that was actually achieved happened over years. Hanging weights may increase the length of a flaccid penis over time, but they do not increase thickness. Weights can also result in stretch marks, lesions and decreased sensation in the penis.

Surgery
There is a surgical procedure that involves cutting the suspensory ligament (which elongates your penis), but due to safety risks most doctors are not willing to perform this procedure. And, of course, no surgical procedure should ever be performed at home or without a qualified medical professional.

Exercises
Like weight training programs, penis enhancement exercise methods promise that the penis can be made bigger through strength training and conditioning. However, this myth can also be busted. There are no muscles in the penis and therefore strength training and exercise cannot increase its size.

Why penis enlargement techniques do not work:

Many programs and products claim to have found the one true secret to a bigger penis. Potential clients should take caution, however, because there is no scientifically proven method of increasing your penis size without risk. Any by "scientific" I don't mean a team of infomercial professionals, but a regulated, licensed and controlled body of research, like the Federal Food and Drug Administration.

Don't sacrifice sensation or permanent damage for a false promise of size enhancement. By attempting to increase your penis size, you run the risk of losing sensation in your peripheral nerves (making it more difficult to ejaculate), impotence, scarring, lesions or other permanent damage. Few advertised penis enlargement products or processes are open about potential side affects or permanent damage.

Don't confuse swelling and irritation for size enhancement, either. Most techniques can cause irritation to the penis, which can result in temporary swelling- eventually leading to permanent damage.

Penis Size Do You Prefer

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Big or Small: Which Penis Size Do You Prefer?

The issue of being well endowed down there has been on for as long as man has being copulating. Certain categories of people claim that size does not matter, but realistically several instances and some traditional customs state that having a big penis is a sign of being a dominant male, if not the most important part, of being a real man. But how can you know if what you have is okay or a big penis in the first place?

There has to be some kind of ‘standard measurement’ and this is what I intend to achieve with this article. Some studies have being held in the past to ascertain the average or normal penis size. Even though most of such research do not produce the accurate results, given there are several limitations on the studies such as subjects having reservations on their actual penis size or having cases that have extreme penis sizes, some researchers have taken into account instead the size or length of the fully erect penis. Results based on selected researches performed during the mid-1990s to early 2000 funded by various academic, medical, and commercial bodies, shows that the average penis length among men is roughly five to six inches. So it would be logical to conclude that any figure exceeding these numbers could already be considered a bigger penis. So with a five to six inches penis, do men really want a bigger penis?

A study conducted by one Los Angeles University shows that as a matter of fact, we men do want a bigger penis. Almost half of the men (respondents) prefer to have an increase in their penis and more than 80% percent of them actually have average, if not above the usual penis sizes. Then tell me the fuss over an enlarged penis when they already have what they desire? It’s no news that we have the tendency to feel some pressure when we are directly or indirectly tried and tested against our peers.

An example is myself (yeah me! The person who wrote this article) even though my penis was not small “statistically” I was average (about 5.75 inches) I always felt I was not big enough and that affected my self confidence and the way I felt around girls I loved to date. I wanted to be “more than the average guy, ‘an ever-ready stallion’”. Such feelings I had is common among the bulk of men who want to increase their confidence by having a muscular (bigger) penis, and that is the preference of both men and women nowadays.

After so many sleepless nights spent on researching for the safest and quickest method to increase my penis size I finally found what I was looking for. I resorted to natural penis enlargement pills and penis enlargement exercises in the conviction that my penis would become larger without any side effects and my erections would become firmer and more lasting without any harmful side effects, and when I finally get a girlfriend she would be sexually satisfied to the fullest. After five months of dedication I was not disappointed with the results I had achieved. Although a loving partner could assure you that a bigger penis is not all that matters in being a good lover but you know some popular women-oriented shows, magazines and products have made countless references to its importance.

Ever heard of “it’s not the size that matters but what you do with it” guess what size matters a lot!! That’s why you wish you had a bigger penis. A testimony to the authenticity of penis enlargement is myself. So how do you satisfy such craving for a bigger and thicker penis? It all starts with you. It is understandable that some external factors like the media and peer pressure (remember those guys in the shower teasing the small dicked guys) are difficult to avoid, but the main point is, whatever keeps you happy should be a priority.

How many years do you have to live that you should waste a chunk of it being unhappy? If you want to increase the size of your penis because you will feel happy and confident with having a bigger penis go for it what’s stopping you? After all, your penis, whether it is a smaller or bigger penis, is part of the your body and you must do what you can to make sure that you body and health would not be held in question.

Source: http://e-articles.info/e/a/title/Big-or-Small:-Which-Penis-Size-Do-You-Prefer/

Our New Neighbor Is Hot

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Shirtless Obama Makes Washingtonian Cover

The May cover of Washingtonian magazine features those paparazzi photos of a shirtless Barack Obama strolling the beach in Hawaii last year. The photo illustrates the magazine's "Reasons We Love Washington," the #2 reason for which is "Our new neighbor is hot." (Huffington Post, Marcus Baram, April 20, 2009 10:54 PM)

If you haven't spied it on newsstands yet, Washingtonian magazine's newest issue features a black cover with a rather grainy image of a shirtless President Obama superimposed over it. It looks really, really crappy from a design perspective, and the photo is recycled from last year, but it'll probably sell out anyway just for the novelty factor, which is no doubt what the magazine's editors had in mind. Obama's "hot"ness is touted regarding the magazine's cover feature, "26 Reasons to Love Living Here." Do we even need to go in to all the reasons why this is lame?

The president isn't in the habit of wandering around Washington in his bathing suit, and if you're a publication that purports to cover Washington and this is the (apparently second) best thing you can come up with about living here, well, we feel sorry for you. Of course, the gambit appears to be paying off for the magazine already, earning more national and international press out of the shirtless Obama cover than you can shake a stick at. (By Sommer Mathis in News on April 21, 2009 10:35 AM)

Foto Presiden Amerika Serikat (AS) Barack Obama menghiasi sampul majalah populer di Washington, AS. Namun foto tersebut menimbulkan pro dan kontra. Sebab presiden baru AS itu tampil dengan hanya mengenakan celana renang dan memamerkan dada bidangnya! Gara-gara cover edisi Mei itu, majalah The Washingtonian dibanjiri email, telepon dan komentar blog mengenai foto Obama. Ada yang menyukai foto itu, banyak pula yang mengecamnya. "Komentar-komentar sangat berbeda. Banyak orang yang menganggap itu gambar hebat presiden dan yang lainnya tidak setuju dengan itu," kata reporter politik Garrett Graff dari The Washingtonian kepada AFP, Kamis (23/4/2009).

Dalam cover tersebut, Obama mengenakan celana renang warna merah dan memakai kacamata hitam. Di sebelahnya ada tulisan: "Our new neighbor is hot." Dijelaskan Graff, dengan foto tersebut, pihaknya ingin menyampaikan bahwa keberadaan Obama telah membuat Washington menjadi tempat yang menyenangkan. "Dan alasan sebenarnya adalah karena tetangga baru kami itu hot," tuturnya. Foto tersebut diambil setelah Obama memenangi pemilihan presiden AS pada November 2008 lalu.

Foto itu hasil jepretan paparazzi saat keluarga Obama berlibur ke Hawaii sebelum dia dilantik menjadi presiden AS pada Januari 2009. Namun menurut Susan Moeller, profesor jurnalisme di Universitas Maryland, gambar aslinya telah diubah. Termasuk warna kulit Obama. Namun Graff membantahnya. "Kami tidak mengubah konsep gambar itu," ujarnya. Meski diakuinya, mereka mengganti warna celana renang Obama. "Kami mengganti warna celana renang karena kami memasang gambar itu dengan latar belakang hitam, dan aslinya, pakaian renang berwarna biru tua kehitaman," pungkas Graff. (Rita Uli Hutapea - detikNews-Kamis, 23/04/2009 15:35 WIB)

Gay Report

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 11:44:00 +0000

Bali Gay
by : Christopher Naylor

Bali - one of the smaller islands in the sprawling archipelago of Indonesia - is the most influential and most visited island in the world's fourth most populous country and provides the leading source of revenue for Indonesia. Gay men and lesbians will find it refreshingly gay-friendly and extremely inexpensive.

You'll find most gay life in Kuta Beach and the areas just of north of there, called Seminyak and Legian. Legian, the main gay beach near Kuta, is a big, beautiful, and somewhat private area - a far cry from busy Kuta. It is home of Mama Ketut, the infamous massage "huts" directly facing the water. Here you'll find local, sarong-clad gems who are eager to please. Ketut is a must-see for the adventuresome traveler who seeks the ultimate sensual island experience. Massages are about $4/hour.

Where to Stay: In Kuta, you'll want to stay at Fat Yogi Cottages and Restaurant. Located directly on Poppies Lane, Yogi is a typical Balinese-style hotel with a beautiful blue tile pool, swim-up bar, and poolside bungalows. The rooms are spacious and clean, with hot water and large bathtubs. And all of them have charming balconies where you can relax. The restaurant is casual and the food is good, with meals running about $5-$6 for two. On some evenings, the proprietor screens free movies. Full breakfast is included with the price of the room. Rates start at about $8, double or single. The crowd is mostly gay. (Poppies Lane #1. Tel: 751-665)

About 20 minutes from Kuta, on the Nusa Dua Peninsula, is the Nusa Dua Beach Hotel. Authentic in Balinese architecture and design, this property is set on 23 acres of meticulously landscaped lush tropical land. Having just undergone an extensive remodeling, the resort offers every amenity one would expect from a five-star hotel and is, indeed, the pinnacle of luxury set amidst the most tranquil of surroundings. Rooms are first-class, with king-size, queen-size, and suites available. All rooms have comfortable, furnished balconies that offer beautiful, unbroken views of ocean and greenery. And, best of all, it is the home of the Nusa Dua Spa, where you can "return to nature," replenish your soul, and feed your spirit.

A host of water sports are offered at this beachfront property, complete with instructors and equipment. The new swimming pool uses Poolrite technology, a natural way to pool hygiene that avoids harsh chlorinated systems that damage the skin; and it is actually good for asthmatics and those who suffer from allergies. A gracious hospitality and unhurried way of life are a tradition here, and the staff is one of the best in Bali. Rates start at $150 for double or single. (Nusa Dua. Tel: 771-220)

On the way from Kuta to Nusa Dua is Jimbaran Beach, home of the Four Seasons Resort. The owners of this property have rediscovered Bali by creating villas to resemble a mythical Balinese village, yet they have included all the amenities and technology of a "state-of-the art" five-star resort. Each villa has a small temple facing north toward the island's sacred mountain, Gunung Agung, and a 129-square-foot plunge pool. Outdoor showers, freestanding tubs, satellite television, and complete sound and communications systems are just a few of the many amenities each villa contains. Focusing on the "mind/body/spirit," Four Seasons currently offers spa packages that include accommodations, cuisine, and massages in addition to many other complimentary services. Inquire about honeymoon packages because this is the one resort that offers total privacy. Rates start at $475 a night (spa package), meals range from $8-$15 for two. (Jimbaran Beach. Tel: 701-010)

Things to Do: In Kuta, you'll want to contact the local gay tour operator, Hanafi Tours, which is just two doors away from Yogi. Hanafi arranges many services: tours and sightseeing, bike or motorcycle rentals, parasailing and snorkeling excursions, and cremation ceremonies. (Poppies Lane #1, Kuta. Tel: 756-454)

Ubud, the mountainous area near the volcanos is home to local artisans and is a must-see. Bohemian in feel, Ubud offers great shopping and is where all the wood carvings and silver and gold jewelry and masks are made. Prices here are cheaper than in Kuta, because you're closer to the source - so take your spending money with you. The Monkey Forest Road winds through downtown Ubud, where you'll find small guest cottages, cafes, and shops. Many cafes show first-run movies for free in a relaxing and tranquil atmosphere where you can sit on pillows at low tables and enjoy a wonderful meal like Gado Gado (vegetables in peanut sauce). Meals in Ubud cost about $3-$6 for two.

Head for the hills next. The road that leads up to the volcanoes is lined with storefront merchants who live in the rear of their establishments. You'll find your best bargains along this tiny road.

When you arrive at the lush, green, mossy surroundings of the Monkey Forest, chances are you'll be greeted by families of monkeys swinging down from above; careful, they're apt to grab at cameras, purses, and jewelry. Also in this rather mystical place, you'll come across small, ancient Hindu temples.

Where to Eat and Play: Kuta has some great restaurants, many of which are on Legian Street. The Bounty Bar & Restaurant is usually crowded and is "the" place to be seen late in the evening. Typical fare includes seafood, vegetables, and pizzas. Dinner for two runs about $6. (Legian Street, Kuta. Tel: 754-040)

Located directly on the beach is La Luciola, one of a few really wonderful Italian restaurants in Kuta. In this beautiful two-story pagoda you'll enjoy lovely succulent rock shrimp risotto, tasty pizzas, and luscious tropical drinks. Serves lunch and dinner. Dinner for two, including drinks, runs from $10-$15. (At JL: Raya Kerobokan, near Petitenget temple)

Goa 2001 and Cafe Luna are situated directly across from each other on Seminy Street. Both are open, airy, and very comfortable places where you can just hang out or to have a long, leisurely meal. Cafe Luna is more for cruising and is the place to find the locals. This is a good spot to go to from 9 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, before you take off for Double Six Disco, a place where you can dance all night while people bungee jump over your head. Directly on the beach, Double Six (Tel: 731-266) is a massive, outdoor playground of bars, beautiful people, and hip-hop dancers from all over the globe. Entrance fee is $6 for two. Drinks cost about $1, beers about $.35.

A similar, more toned down yet very fun place, is Gado Gado Disco. Here you'll find a mix of locals and travelers. Great for dancing and cruising. Entrance fee is $6 for two. Drinks about $1; beers cost half that. (Tel: 730-995)

Finally, the infamous Hula Cafe is the center of gay life in Kuta. Looking like an immense hula skirt, the cafe really opens up for their very popular drag shows on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Clientele includes locals and Australians; good cruising. As the crowd grows, guys spill out onto the street, making the cruising activity even more alluring. Good food, but better for drinks. Closed Mondays. Entrance fee for the show is $5 for two; dinner for two is about $6. (Sahadewa Street, Kuta)

The main cruising areas, day and night, are Kuta, Legian and Seminyak (the main gay beaches), and Kerobokan Beach. Be careful on Kuta beach late at night. Other than that, Bali is very safe. The gay community in Bali is cosmopolitan and young, and they love Americans. The Hindu culture, which dominates Bali, makes this a magical, memorable, and very nonwestern vacation spot. And it is affordable.

And the way the locals embrace you - whoever you are - is pleasant and refreshingly different. You'll be a nicer person when you return home!

Source: http://agungbali.blogspot.com/2008/02/bali-gay.html

Gay Pride

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 08:53:00 +0000

Gay Pride History & Events Calendar
By Ramon Johnson, About.com

What is Gay Pride?

Gays in a growing number of cities and countries participate in annual parades, festivals and events collectively called gay pride. Most gay prides span from a few days to over a week and are filled with dances, volunteer and social events and highly publicized parades. These pride events are organized by local charities or volunteer organizations. View this year's Gay Pride Calendar.

History of Gay Pride

The first gay pride parade in 1969, known as the March on Stonewall, started as a protest against discrimination and violence against gays in New York City. Today, pride events have become an annual ritual and have grown to include thousands of gay and gay-friendly participants, not to mention hundreds of spectators.

Many gays and lesbians dress in bright colors, head-to-toe leather or sometimes next to nothing. But regardless of the attire, all of the participants join the festivities to remind the world that gays deserve the same rights as others and people should be free to live their own lifestyle, void of judgement or hate.

Gay pride is also a symbol of solidarity and an opportunity to express the vivid personalities which reflect the diverse gay communities throughout the world. During this time (and in many places year round), the skies are covered with the gay pride flags and banners, the symbol of gay solidarity and freedom.

Meaning and History of The Gay Pride or Rainbow Flag

The gay pride flag was designed by Gilbert Baker and debuted at the 1978 San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Freedom Day Parade. Read more about the origin of the gay pride flag! Also, Did you know that each color on the gay pride flag has a different meaning? See what each color represents here!

Growing Up Gay

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 08:51:00 +0000

My Personal Story: Growing Up Gay

When I think back of my early childhood, I can remember moving with my parents and little sister to a city in southern Sweden called Tranås. I started in a new school, and I was fascinated, in a rather special way, by a particular boy in my class. While my thoughts at that time were not particularly sexual (I was nine at the time), I often thought about whether or not I thought this boy beautiful. I had problems settling the issue in my mind, but nevertheless, I looked at him ever so often, and I felt pleasure while doing so.

As time went on, as I entered puberty, I began to take a more active, albeit still very discrete, interest in other boys. While in the locker room after physical education, I detected that I was sexually attracted to several of the other boys, and I also saw many boys walking around the school corridors who caught my attention. Sometimes I looked them up in the school's photo catalog to see what their names were, and in my free time, I often dreamt about being physically close to them.

But during this period of adolescence, I never really thought about what I was. All the things that took place in the emotional-sexual realm were, admittedly, real and concrete to me: I experienced real feelings for other boys (love, infatuation, sexual attraction). But at the same time, on an "intellectual" level, I never confronted these feelings, and so I continued having them without worrying about them or trying to transform them in any way. They just were, and that was fine with me. While some opponents of homosexuality often claim that it is "unnatural" (a claim which is thoroughly refuted in the essay "Homosexuality and the 'Unnaturalness Argument'"), for me, my homosexual feelings were very natural indeed.

When I was 16, I became a Christian, which complicated matters quite a bit. After a conversion in the summer of 1984, during which I confessed Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, I joined the Pentecostal Church by being baptized on December 9. While I felt great satisfaction about being a part of the Christian church, I gradually encountered attitudes among fellow Christians and in the Bible which were rather hostile towards homosexuality in any form. I adopted that negative attitude, and I became quite a vocal homophobe. During my years in the upper secondary school Holavedskolan, I was well-known for being a devout Fundamentalist Christian, with a very strict view of morality.

Looking back at this period, my feelings for other boys were at least as strong as before, while my lack of an emotional-sexual interest in girls continued. I was very attracted to quite a few boys which I only knew from having observed them around the school, and I also experienced two strong infatuations, involving two boys in my class. Of course, as before, all of this was kept very secret! So how can it be explained that I, who really was gay, so strongly attacked homosexuality in different contexts? The explanation is, I think, psychological in nature. That is to say, I now think I was homophobic, not primarily to have people believe that I was straight (because I never thought anybody doubted that anyway), but to keep myself in check. I was "preaching" to my inner self, in a way.

And I now gradually began to realize, on an intellectual level, what I was. Why did that take so long? I think because when one grows up and hears words like "gay" or "homosexual", one thinks of rather horrid people, who are disgusting, ugly, and immoral. I used to have a picture in my mind of two old, ugly men with mustaches (which I happen to find quite unattractive) kissing - and I found that revolting. I thought: I cannot be one of them! And yet I was, in a way. What I began to understand was that the term "homosexual" really did not denote anything but a description of towards whom a person was emotionally and sexually attracted. It did not denote anything, in itself, regarding the looks, behavior, or values of anyone. When I realized that gay people are like everyone else - some are nice, some are rude, some are beautiful, some are ugly, some are young, some are old, etc. - I had an easier time using the term for myself.

But at this time, while I knew what I was, nobody else knew. And it would take some more years before I told anyone. The period that started about this time was, in a way, a fairly unhappy one. While outwards a success - in 1988 (after a year doing my unarmed military service at a children's day-care center in Gnosjö), I was enrolled as a student at the Stockholm School of Economics - on the inside, the conflict grew stronger. I now lived by myself in a student room in Stockholm, and I had even more time to ponder upon my life: How could I reconcile my faith in God and the Bible with being attracted to other men?

For a long time, I thought the conflict impossible to solve. In 1989, I began dating a girl at the School, and she became my girlfriend in March of that year (after I asked her at a visit to a fancy restaurant). I liked her a lot: she was smart, nice-looking, stylish, and very kind. But I was not sexually attracted to her. I had one primary wish: to become a heterosexual - that would make my life perfect, I thought. And so I prayed a lot, asking God to change me and to help me feel lust towards my girlfriend. None of that happened, not in the least. We remained a couple and even got engaged in 1990, planning to get married.

But as things got more serious, I felt that I could not go through with this. I did not say anything for a long time; rather, I just wanted to meet her less often, and when we met, I was cold and distant. Eventually, in the summer of 1991, we both felt that this could not go on any longer, and we terminated the engagement and stopped seeing each other. That was painful, considering my motives for having dated her in the first place, but it was also a great relief for me.

On August 7, 1998, I finally got a chance to tell her the real reason why things did not work out between us. We had not spoken for over five years, but I found her via the Internet (listed at her job), so we met for lunch here in Stockholm. After about thirty minutes, I decided that I had to tell her - something I had wanted to do for several years. So I said: "There's something I need to tell you which may surprise you. To make a long story short: I am gay." She reacted with silence at first, so I told her that I was sorry that things had turned out the way they turned out, but that I did what I thought best at the time. She admitted that she had considered the idea that I could be gay, but she also said that she was a little shocked, since we were engaged and all. We both agreed that it was a lucky thing that we did not get married. At the end of the conversation, she put her hand on top of mine, and we went our own ways, in my case feeling contented and, I hope, in her case feeling pleased to have been informed, at last.

After the experience with my girlfriend, I was determined to go on living single, in celibacy, and in that way, I could still be accepted by God. However, I had casual sex a few times, and I felt very guilty about that. I prayed to God for forgiveness, and felt better after that. This was not a sustainable path for me - I think no one feels well with such an internal conflict raging on the inside.

My "release" came during a year in the U.S. In 1992, I began my graduate studies in economics at the Stockholm School of Economics, and during 1993-94 I was visiting The Center for Study of Public Choice at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. While there, I lived with four conservative Christians, but once a week, I drove into Washington, D.C. to be by myself. There, I saw movies and found a gay bookstore called Lambda Rising. Some of the books which I bought there were to revolutionize my life. (I was careful to hide them from my roommates.)

Most important was a book by John Boswell (actually, his Ph.D. dissertation in history) entitled Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality (University of Chicago Press, 1980) in which he showed that the conservative interpretation of the passages in the Bible dealing with homosexuality was probably incorrect. This formed the basis for a new phase in my life, where I thought homosexuality and Christianity compatible. I still adhere to that view, although I am no longer a Christian. This intellectual conviction made life easier for me, and I was finally at ease - around the age of 25 - with being gay. I still am, by the way.

Before going to the U.S., I had gotten a few close friends who were also gay, and I kept in touch with them during my year abroad. They were - and are - very supportive, and we have inspired each other to lead good, fulfilling lives as young gay men. They are good examples of people who are altogether decent, and talking to them also helped me develop. They kept telling me that it was destructive to cling to Fundamentalist Christianity, and although I rejected their objections for a long time, I gradually came to see that they were right. Generally in my life, my friends and the books I have read have influenced me the most, in all areas.

Anyway, when I came home from the U.S., I had decided to tell my parents. I had planned to tell them on a Friday in May of 1994, but during that evening, I did not have the courage to tell them. I remember sitting in a couch at their house, watching some nonsense on TV, while thinking all the time: "I must say it now, or else it will never be said!" But nothing happened. The same thing on Saturday. But on Sunday, the day before I was going to go to Stockholm, I thought to myself, "Now or never!" And so, while I and my parents were sitting in the living room, I said: "I have something I must tell you. I am a homosexual."

They looked at me and were quite silent. I had planned what to say, so I told them a little about homosexuality: that it is not a choice, that I am happy being gay, that I am not therefore immoral, that I have many gay friends of high quality, that this changes nothing in our relationship, etc. My mother's first comment was: "Have you met someone? If not, how do you know?" And I replied, "No, I have not met anyone, and I know myself well enough to say that I am attracted to men." My father's first comment was, "Be careful, and remember that many people dislike this." And I told him that I would consider his advice. Since then, my homosexuality has been totally unproblematic as far as our relationship is concerned. They have loved me and treated me in exactly the same way as before I told them.

Why did I feel it necessary to tell my parents? Up until I was 26 years old, I had remained convinced that I simply could not tell them. I just couldn't imagine saying something like that to them - mainly because I feared that they would find it vexing. With the benefit of hindsight, I realize how easy it is to build up an unsubstantiated idea that being honest about who one is could result in quite horrible reactions. One imagines that people will hate one too easily - when, in fact, they love one, no matter what!

Anyway, I felt that I had to tell them because I needed to be honest about me. I was gay, and that was an important fact of life. I did not want to hide my books with the word "homosexuality" in the title when they came to visit; I did not want to lie about who my friends were and where I went during weekends; I did not want them to falsely believe that I would marry and have kids; and I did not want to hear questions like "Is there no girl that you find interesting?" all the time. Quite simply: to sustain a good relationship with my parents, I felt - finally - that I had to tell them. And it was a virtuous thing to do.

Later on, in 1995, I told my little sister, Malin, during a car ride in the country. She laughed a little and said that she had not suspected it - but that she had no problems at all with it. And our relationship has also continued as before. I have also told many of my friends, and no one has reacted negatively. The same goes for my colleagues at work. I have not told my religious grandmother, and I think I may not tell her. It is always a balancing act: while I wish to be open about who I am, I realize, like my father, that some people might work against me, if they knew. But this home page is one part of being more open than before.

Today, I lead a rewarding life, both professionally (as an economist) and privately. I spend a lot of time with my steadfast circle of gay friends (we have dinners, go out together, talk on the phone almost daily, etc.), and even though I disagree with the French philosopher Michel Foucault on many counts, I find his view on friendship in line with my own, as it is described by Edmund White in his book The Farewell Symphony (London: Chatto & Windus, 1997, pp. 457-458): "Inspired by the ancient Greeks, whom he [Foucault] was studying, he'd developed a cult of friendship. He thought that we had nothing else to value now; the death of God had resulted in the birth of friendship. If we could no longer enjoy an afterlife earned by our good deeds, we could at least leave behind a sense of our achievement, measured aesthetically, and the most beautiful art we could practice would be the art of self-realization through friendship."

I am happy to say that I now view my homosexuality as enriching. I hope to be able to influence people towards more of tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality, and I think the best way to do that is to be yourself and be open - then, people will be able to see that gay people aren't really different, except in one little area.

Source: http://hem.passagen.se/nicb/story.htm
Part of the Home Page of Dr. Niclas Berggren

Gay characters, story lines

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 08:26:00 +0000

Out and about: Gay characters, story lines are increasing on television
PopWire: News, Reviews and Commentary
by Chuck Barney Contra Costa Times (MCT)
5 November 2008

Berkeley resident Leesa Tori has no problem recalling, with vivid clarity, that television moment on April 30, 1997, when Ellen DeGeneres spoke into an airport public-address system and announced to all the world, “I’m gay.” The coming-out scene on the ABC sitcom “Ellen” was a watershed event in television history and left Tori, a lesbian, beaming with pride. “That was so incredibly important. It was just huge,” Tori says. “She was my hero.” More than 10 years later, gay viewers - and anyone who values diversity in their pop-cultural fare - can take pride in the fact that gay characters on television are no longer such a big-deal novelty.

According to a recent study by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, broadcast television featured 16 gay and bisexual regular characters in prime-time shows at the start of the fall season. That’s more than double the seven of a year ago. The depictions run the gamut, from a bisexual woman on “Bones” to a budding same-sex female romance on “Grey’s Anatomy” and a gay marriage on “Brothers & Sisters.”

In addition, 19 recurring characters (those who appear only time to time) on broadcast television are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Combine the regular and recurring characters and it’s the most GLAAD has counted during its 13 years of monitoring the networks. Moreover, when consideration is given to reality shows, daytime dramas and gay-oriented cable networks, it becomes clear that never before have gay story lines been so prominent on television.

Naturally, we want to see ourselves represented and have our stories told,” says GLAAD president Neil G. Giuliano. “But this (broadening representation) is also important because we know that images on TV and in the movies have a lot of power and influence. They can go a long way toward helping others embrace the LGBT community with love and acceptance.” To that end, Giuliano is pleased to not only see more gay characters on the small screen, but more “fully developed” characters with “substantial depth” to them.

In other words, characters who don’t serve simply as gimmicks or window dressing or the butt of jokes as many gay depictions have done in the past. He points to the ABC family drama “Brothers & Sisters,” in which one of the main characters - Kevin Walker (Matthew Rhys) - has participated in a same-sex wedding ceremony with Scotty Wandell, a character played by openly gay actor Luke Macfarlane. It is believed to be prime time’s first gay wedding involving series regulars.

On the same show, Kevin’s uncle, Saul Holden (Ron Rifkin), last season officially came out in his 60s, after acknowledging he had led a life filled with regret. “That’s a very genuine situation - someone coming out late in life and dealing with all that entails,” Giuliano says. “It’s a great story to be told.”

ABC, which GLAAD credits as being the top broadcast network when it comes to LGBT inclusion, also is airing a fledgling romance between female doctors - Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez) and Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith) - on its No. 1-rated drama, “Grey’s Anatomy.” “That’s another very wonderful and real story of women learning to understand their same-sex attraction,” says Giuliano. “And what’s also neat about that story is the reaction to the situation by the other doctors and their friends. They’re being educated as well, and in them is where most of the viewers can see themselves.”

The “Grey’s Anatomy” plot line is also an example of television’s willingness to reach out to the LGBT community. Before the season, series creator Shonda Rhimes met with representatives of GLAAD to discuss the characters and the direction they would take. “What I love is we sat down and talked about women who figure out that they’re lesbians later in life and what that means,” Rhimes told reporters during television’s summer press tour. “And we really were able to find some really great, humorous and serious emotional stuff to play that’s going to feel really interesting and also affect their lives in the hospital.”

Some of the most interesting developments in gay-related television continue to occur in other genres and programming platforms. Reality TV, for example, has long been at the forefront when it comes to compelling LGBT personalities, including this season’s inclusion of Isis, a transgender contestant on “America’s Next Top Model” (The CW), and Lance Bass, a gay contestant on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Meanwhile, on cable, which introduced such shows as “Queer as Folk” and “The L Word,” the Emmy-winning “Mad Men” (AMC) features a closeted gay man - Salvatore Romano (Bryan Batt) - living in denial among his skirt-chasing co-workers. And in daytime television, “All My Children” (ABC), which broke ground with the coming out of Erica Kane’s daughter Bianca (Eden Riegel), has seen the character return in a new story line, with a new girlfriend.

Joseph Chase, a longtime Concord, Calif., resident and employee at the city’s Rainbow Community Center, is encouraged by the progress he has seen. “I like that we’re starting to see the diversity of the country reflected on television,” says Chase, 50. “And I like that we’re seeing more real people depicted sensitively and with integrity, and with warts and all.” Chase says he is most impressed when television presents substantive coming-out stories pegged to characters being true to themselves.

“So many of us grow up as minorities within our own families,” he says. “It helps to see that you’re not a single oddity, but one of a bigger whole - and to discover that in a nonjudgmental way.” But even with the progress made in recent years, Chase and others believe that television still has a lot of work to do when it comes to presenting well-rounded gay story lines and being generally inclusive.

The recent GLAAD report noted that CBS didn’t have any shows this fall with regular characters who are gay (although the CBS daytime drama “As the World Turns” features a gay relationship). And since the days of “Ellen” and “Will & Grace,” there have been no scripted series actually built around gay characters. Moreover, gay story lines continue to be mostly the dominion of white men. “We need more people of color. That’s for sure,” says Giuliano, citing Callie on “Grey’s Anatomy,” Angela Montenegro (Michaela Conlin) on “Bones” and Oscar Martinez (Oscar Nunez) on “The Office” as being among the notable few.

Tori also finds fault with the way lesbian romance is often depicted on TV. “After a while, it gets kind of tiring to see the straight girl-being-converted story,” she says. “It feeds into the fear some have that there are people out there trying to lure you - that someone is going to make you gay. I want to know where the career lesbians are on TV.”

Source: http://www.popmatters.com

The Real Story on Gay Genes

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:46:00 +0000

Homing in on the science of homosexuality—and sexuality itself
by Michael Abrams
published online June 5, 2007

Some conservatives argue that homosexuality is a personal choice or the result of environmental influences. Some gay rights activists insist that homosexuality is genetic, hoping that proof from that domain will lead to greater acceptance. Still others, backing the same cause, discourage any investigation into the biological origins of sexual orientation, fearful that positive results will lead to attempts to rid the world of potential homosexuals. A handful of scientists, though, are just curious. For them, the discovery of how an individual becomes gay is likely to shed light on how sexuality-related genes build brains, how people of any persuasion are attracted to each other, and perhaps even how homosexuality evolved.

“Who cares about gay men or lesbian women?” asks geneticist Sven Bocklandt of the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA. “Sexual selection defines evolution and creation—such a major player in determining society—and we have no idea how it works. This is much larger than the gay gene; it’s about all sexual reproduction.”

Bocklandt was once a mere science journalist. It was while producing a documentary for Belgian TV that he first met geneticist Dean Hamer. Hamer had just published a study that claimed not only to have finally proved that male homosexuality was at least partially genetic but also to have pinpointed the stretch of chromosome where one of the genes involved resided. Hamer and his colleagues conducted extensive interviews with 76 pairs of gay brothers and their family members and found that homosexuality seemed to be inherited through the maternal line. This led him to compare the X chromosomes—which can be inherited only from the mother—in those same brothers. There he discovered a shared genetic marker, a patch of DNA called Xq28. Interviews with the subjects also revealed them to be either gay or straight. (In this respect, men are entirely different from women. Studies have shown that women respond to all types of sexual depictions—not only heterosexual and homosexual images but even those of chimpanzees having sex.)

Sven Bocklandt of UCLA's medical school studies the DNA of gay and straight male twins.
Image courtesy of Sven Bocklandt

The interview with Hamer fascinated Bocklandt. Not long after, he quit his job and moved to Washington, D.C., to work with Hamer. There he did research on the X chromosome, with hopes of someday finding the gay gene or genes themselves.

Fourteen years later, neither Bocklandt nor any other researcher has pinpointed the precise base pairs that might turn a man gay. Part of this is due to the politics of funding for sex research. For a long period NIH grant proposals that included words like “gay,” “condom,” or even “sexuality” were turned down, much to the ire of researchers like Hamer. Shortly after he published his gay brothers study, Hamer completed a similarly designed family study looking into a genetic cause for a certain kind of anxiety. Since then there have been more than 400 independent studies looking into those genes. There have been no such studies for the gay gene.

It is not clear if Hamer and his team found the locus of the genetic code that causes men to memorize lines from A Star Is Born. Although a follow-up study by the team replicated their findings, a study by George Rice, a neuroscientist at the University of Western Ontario, refuted Hamer’s findings completely. In addition, two other researchers told me they don’t consider Hamer’s study valid. Yet Hamer contends that his results suggest there is a link to Xq28 and that the Rice study was biased because one of the coauthors told Hamer that he didn’t believe a gay gene could exist. Hamer also says that, if read correctly, the two other studies confirm his findings. “They didn’t even look at the entire X chromosome,” says Hamer. “They gave up immediately.” For laymen, science journalists, and researchers alike, the question remains unresolved.

Whether or not a gay gene, a set of gay genes, or some other biological mechanism is ever found, one thing is clear: The environment a child grows up in has nothing to do with what makes most gay men gay. Two of the most convincing studies have proved conclusively that sexual orientation in men has a genetic cause.

William Reiner, a psychiatrist at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center, explored the question of environmental influences on sexuality with a group that had been surgically shifted from boys to girls. These boys had been born with certain genital deformities; because it is easier to fashion a vagina than a penis, the boys were surgically made into girls at birth. In many cases they were raised as girls, kept in the dark about the surgery, and thought themselves female long into adulthood. Invariably, Reiner found that the faux females ended up being attracted to women. If societal nudging was what made men gay, at least one of these boys should have grown up to be attracted to men. There is no documented case of that happening.

The second study was an examination of twins by psychologist Michael Bailey of Northwestern University. Among identical twins, he found that if one was gay, the other had a 50 percent chance of also being gay. Among fraternal twins, who do not share the same DNA, there was only a 20 percent chance.

At first glance, those results seem to suggest that at least some homosexuality must not be genetic. Identical twins have the same genes, right? How could one turn out gay and the other not gay as often as 50 percent of the time? There are many other traits that are not always the same in identical twins, however, like eye color and fingerprints. The interesting question is, how do any of these major differences arise between two products of the same code?

The solution to that question is exactly what Bocklandt is trying to find. By looking not at DNA but at where DNA is switched off, he hopes to find the true genetic seat of homosexuality. Hamer looked at broad regions of chromosomes using genetic markers, a low-resolution result that tells little more than “something’s going on somewhere around here.” Bocklandt is hoping to look with a much stronger magnifying glass at the areas Hamer’s research highlighted. If he succeeds, it will be a triumph not only for the genetics of homosexuality but also for genetic research in general.

Bocklandt has collected DNA from two groups of 15 pairs of identical twins. In one group, both twins are gay. In the second, one twin is gay, and the other is straight. Identical twins have the same DNA, but the activity of their genes isn’t necessarily the same. The reason is something called methylation.

Methylation turns off certain sections of genetic code. So even though we inherit two copies of every gene—one from our mother, one from our father—whether the gene is methylated often determines which of the two genes will be turned on. Methylation is inherited, just as DNA is. But unlike DNA, which has an enzyme that proofreads both the original and the copy to minimize errors, methylation has no built-in checks. It can change from one generation to the next and may be influenced by diet or environment. It’s in this mutability that Bocklandt hopes to find the secret, by seeing which flipped genetic switches correlate with homosexuality.

“For each pair we expect to see a whole lot of things that are random—sometimes someone smoked, or medication was used for long periods of time,” Bocklandt says. “But basically we compare the gay results with the straight ones and see if any region shows up multiple times for these subjects.”

Bocklandt is quick to point out that most likely there is no single “gay gene”—no single switch for sexual orientation. Instead, there are probably a handful of genes that work in ways as yet unexplained. Still, he is confident that the genes involved are few enough that he can find them. Although sexual attraction between humans has its frills—the social dances, the fetishes, the preferred body types—it is still pretty fundamental. “If you’re breeding pigs, you can buy a little spray—spray it on a female and it will stand still as if it’s having sex,” Bocklandt says. “There’s nothing like that for humans. Obviously, the behavior is complex—there’s phone sex and of course porn—but genetically it’s simple. There are limits to what you can code on a genome.” He thinks it is likely that perhaps 5 to 15 genes explain sexual orientation in most people.

Ideally, Bocklandt would scan the genome of each individual, looking for a methylation pattern anywhere on any chromosome that shows up repeatedly in the gay member of each twin pair. Unfortunately, at the moment it costs about $10 million a person to map out every base pair of the 46 chromosomes, so Bocklandt is looking only where he suspects to unearth genetic gold. If he finds a pattern, then he will look at the DNA beneath the methylation.

Actually, the whole genome can be mapped for less than $10 million if you are willing to forfeit the high degree of resolution Bocklandt is after. Alan Sanders, an associate professor of psychiatry at Northwestern, will be looking at the whole genome of about 1,000 gay brothers using the genetic marker technique that Hamer used. A sample that big should eliminate the statistical weaknesses that plagued Hamer. “There are a number of things that go into trying to figure out how much statistical power you have, but the only one that’s in your control is sample size—the bigger the better,” says Sanders. “So that’s what we’re doing.”

For several years Sanders has been collecting DNA from blood or saliva samples from families with two or more gay brothers. In addition to requesting their spit, Sanders’s team asks each individual a set of questions similar to those Hamer used in his study. Then he begins looking at the men’s chromosomal markers to see if the brothers are more similar than what chance would predict. Wherever there is a significant increase in sharing, Sanders plans to look at the genes that can be found near that particular marker. (When two brothers come from the same mother and father, about 50 percent of their genes should be identical.) Not only is the sample size bigger than Hamer’s, but there are now far more genetic markers available, allowing Sanders to zero in on specific genes much faster.

By setting up a stand at Gay Pride parades and approaching “gay friendly” groups like PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), Sanders has found more than 4,000 gay men with a brother who are interested in participating. He has already started mapping the first 500 and estimates that by mid-2008 the world will know where—if anywhere—to find the gay gene.

“We definitely should be able to put to rest one way or another whether the Xq28 finding is replicable,” says Sanders. “We should be able to address that to anyone’s satisfaction.”

The question of whether there is a gay gene—and if so, where it resides—is hardly the only question about sexual orientation that remains unanswered. If either Bocklandt or Sanders is lucky enough to spot the genes responsible for homosexuality, there will most likely be more questions raised than answered. “Frankly, the biggest problem of the genetic possibilities is the evolutionary problem,” says Michael Bailey, the researcher who found that women get turned on by anything, who is now working with Sanders. “And I don’t think that Dean [Hamer] has taken that problem seriously enough.” Men who like men are obviously less likely to procreate. Even if social pressures through the ages led some gay men to have some children, the significantly lower rate of reproduction would eventually lead to the disappearance of the gene (as Hamer does note in his book, The Science of Desire: The Search for the Gay Gene and the Biology of Behavior).

Possible explanations abound, but an ingenious one was recently put to the test. Perhaps, the theory goes, some genes, when found in men, make them more likely to be gay and when found in women make them more likely to have children. (“Fecund” is the word the researchers use.) The increased number of grandchildren that a parent might have through such a superfertile daughter would offset whatever loss of genetic posterity comes from having a gay son.

How such a gene might work is anyone’s guess. Perhaps the gene simply increases attraction to men, so a male with the gene comes out liking men, and a female with the gene comes out really liking men. Whatever the mechanism, it turns out that an Italian study found that women with gay family members have more children than women with all straight relatives. Andrea Camperio-Ciani, a professor of ethology and evolutionary psychology at the University of Padua, interviewed 98 gay men and 100 straight men and found that the mothers of gay men had an average of 2.7 children, while the mothers of straight men averaged 2.3.

That study has been criticized in some circles for the same old reason: The sample size was not big enough. But the man with the generous sample size hopes to answer that question too. “We’ll look at the offspring of female relatives of gay men—especially of sisters. How many do they have compared to the relatives of straight men?” asks Sanders. “We’re also trying to replicate that.”

Another way to pass on the seemingly nonreproducing gay gene would be for a nonreproducing gay man to have an extra interest in seeing that the offspring of his siblings survive. Biologist E. O. Wilson first put forward this idea of kin selection as an explanation for homosexuality in 1978, but for some time now it has been considered an unlikely scenario.

Michael Bailey conducted a study in 2001 to find out if gay uncles treat their nephews and nieces any better than straight uncles treat theirs. They did not. Thinking that Bailey did not control for the income level of the uncles surveyed—richer uncles tend to be more generous—Qazi Rahman, a professor of psychobiology at the University of East London, tried to replicate the study in England. In addition to looking at how they spent their money, Rahman tried to see if gay men had some kind of extra psychological generosity by asking questions like, “Assuming you had a million pounds, would you buy gifts for your family?” Again, Rahman found no difference between straight and gay men. He admits that looking at “presents and stuff” might seem a crude measure for an adaptation that was selected for thousands of years ago, but he sees no other way that such an impulse would manifest itself today.

But 21st-century Western society, and the homosexuals therein, could be something of an anomaly in human history, according to Paul Vasey, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Lethbridge in Alberta. “Do I think the social contexts are less representative of our evolutionary past? I’d say yes,” Vasey says. “The kind of gay men and lesbian women we are familiar with in Western culture express their homosexuality as egalitarian—they’re not differentiated as far as gender.” In other times and other places, one partner typically adopts a masculine role, while the other adopts the feminine. Another problem with kinship selection studies that look only in England and, in particular, the United States, is that kinship ties for homosexuals might not be as strong as they would be elsewhere. “The United States is profoundly homophobic,” says Vasey, “so you can’t be directing altruism at your family members if they’ve kicked you out and you’ve moved to the other side of the country.”

Vasey has therefore been studying a group of Samoans called fa’afafine, whom he describes as more of a third sex than homosexual as commonly construed. These men, who grow up to dress and act like women and are extremely integrated into their society, would be offended to find themselves described as homosexual. They don’t have sex with each other, and because their appearance isn’t masculine, they don’t consider themselves men who sleep with other men. In an initial study, Vasey found that the fa’afafine do exhibit heightened avuncular tendencies with their nieces and nephews. “They babysit, they teach them about the culture, they give them money,” he says. To make sure that these traits do not merely reflect a more general fondness for all children, Vasey will soon head back to Samoa to refine and, with luck, replicate the study.

To put the kibosh on the idea that the evolution of a gay gene presents an unsolvable conundrum, Sergey Gavrilets, a theoretical evolutionary biologist at the University of Tennessee, developed a mathematical model of how a set of what he calls “sexually antagonistic” genes might evolve. “Sexuality can be explained as one example of sexual conflict—there may be genes that are beneficial for one sex but detrimental for the other,” he says. He didn’t put kin selection into the equation. (“I don’t think it works, because if you have zero children and compensate for the loss by helping someone else, that help would have to be extremely efficient.”) But he did include Camperio-Ciani’s results and also assumed that gay genes would be passed down on the mother’s side, on the X chromosome, as indicated by Hamer.

The model shows that over centuries an effect you might call the homophobe’s paradox has been at work on the human genome: The more intolerant the society, the more likely it is to maintain gay genes. If a society’s conventions keep homosexuals in the closet, then they will be more likely to conform, get married, and have children. This is especially true if gay genes are also responsible for making women more fecund. Imagine, for instance, that for every extra child that such a gay gene–carrying woman has, a gay man can have one fewer and the balance necessary for the survival of the gene is still maintained. The more children he has, thanks to what his contemporaries demand of him, the less evolutionary pressure there is for his female counterpart to have more. “As a society becomes more intolerant, there’s more pressure to have offspring,” says Gavrilets. “The real [evolutionary] cost of being homosexual isn’t too big if you’re forced to have kids.” On the other hand, the more tolerant the society, the more gay men can be free to be who they are, so the more likely they will be childless—and the more difficult it will be for any female in the family to make up for the loss.

“Bullshit,” says Bocklandt. “A mathematical model is a nice exercise, a mental masturbation about how these things could work, but it makes better sense to do that once we know a bit more. One of the problems that none of the mathematical models take into account is that we have no idea what it meant to be gay 10,000 years ago. We have some idea what it meant 200 years ago but not 10,000.”

It is also becoming increasingly clear that gay genes are not the only biological factor that influences homosexuality. Some homosexual men appear to have their sexuality oriented not by their DNA but by the environment they experienced in the womb. Ray Blanchard, a psychiatric researcher at the University of Toronto, found in 1996 that men with older brothers were more likely to be gay than those without. His study showed that for every older brother a man has, his odds of being gay go up by 33 percent. If the likelihood that a couple’s first son will be gay is 2 percent (a reasonable guess), Blanchard says, the probability that the 5th son will be gay is only 6 percent. But if some poor woman has 14 sons, the 15th would have a 50 percent chance of being gay.

Blanchard’s discovery has been replicated more than 20 times. Most recently, in 2006, psychologist Tony Bogaert of Brock University in Ontario quashed the possibility that the older-brother effect results from boys having been teased, beaten, or otherwise affected by their older brothers. Bogaert collected data from gay and heterosexual men who grew up in nonbiological families—in most cases, either adopted or raised in “blended” families. “This allowed me to really pit biological versus nonbiological explanations against each other,” Bogaert says. The statistics came back the same as they had in previous studies. “It’s not the brother you lived with; it’s the environment within the same womb—sharing the same mom.”

The older-brother effect accounts for about 15 to 30 percent of gay men, Blanchard estimates. How sharing a biological mother could induce homosexuality in men remains pure guesswork, however. Bogaert and Blanchard hypothesize that with each male child the mother develops an immunity to certain male-specific proteins, like molecules relating to the Y chromosome. Perhaps her body sees them as foreign and mounts an immune attack, which might alter certain structures of the male brain.

Whatever the cause of homosexuality, be it genetic, hormonal, or even sociological, the result is a change somewhere in the brain. Simon LeVay, once a neurobiologist at the Salk Institute, thought he found that part of the brain in 1991. Comparing the gray matter in the cadavers of gay and straight men, he found that an area in the anterior hypothalamus known as INAH-3 was smaller in gay men, about the size it is in women. A study by William Byne of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City turned up similar results.

Michael Baum, a biologist at Boston University, got a more detailed look by studying ferrets, whose biology is well understood. He has shown that the anterior hypothalamuses of gay and straight ferrets—as well as of male and female ferrets—are also of different sizes. The structural distinctions have clear behavioral consequences. Ferrets find their mates primarily by odor. Using a “reporter gene,” Baum proved that a receptor in the anterior hypothalamus responds differently to the same odor depending on the sex of the ferret. Creating a lesion in that part of the brain can make a male ferret approach other males. Baum also finds that administering the right steroids early in life can reverse the animals’ sex response: Female ferrets dosed with testosterone early in life act masculine.

Odor does not affect us as much as it does ferrets, but that is not to say that odor doesn’t influence our sexual response. Ivanka Savic Berglund, a neuroscientist at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, put gay men, straight men, and women in a PET scanner (not all at the same time) and watched how their anterior hypothalamus lit up when presented with an odor similar to one found in men’s sweat and one similar to a scent found in women’s urine. The gay men’s brains responded the way the women’s brains did. “I was so pleased when I saw the paper—it kind of made my day,” says Baum. “But I think it would have been great if she had used real sweat.”

So is brain development the final frontier for seeking the source of homosexuality? “At first blush you might think, ‘Well, gosh, maybe gay men didn’t get enough testosterone early in life,” says Marc Breedlove, a neuroscience professor at Michigan State University. “But as we find markers that should tell us about prenatal testosterone, they haven’t shown a consistent pattern.” Such studies are puzzling for Breedlove, who has spent much of his career proving that for animals things really are that simple. Castrated male rats given ovarian steroids as adults go straight for other male rats, while others given testosterone still flirt with females (however futile their propositions). “We can cause animals to be as masculine or feminine as we want by manipulating their exposure to testosterone,” he says. “If I take a female rat pup and I give her just one dose of testosterone, in a few hours that testosterone is gone, and yet for the rest of her life she’s masculine.”

Lab rats are easier to manipulate than people, however. “I love my rats,” says Breedlove, “but they’re not very complicated.” Apparently, humans are unlike the rest of the animal kingdom. Still, low testosterone or high testosterone could up the chance that a boy would grow up to be gay. No experiment has yet ruled that out.

If researchers do prove that testosterone can alter human sexual orientation—gay gene or no gay gene—the possibility of preventing homosexuality will become a reality. Even a hint of that option is enough to provoke an outcry among activists. Recently word got out that Charles Roselli, a physiologist at Oregon Health and Science University, was trying to find out how hormones affect the brains of gay sheep. PETA roped tennis star and lesbian activist Martina Navratilova into writing a letter to the university, calling the research homophobic and cruel. She accused the researchers of trying to find a “prenatal treatment for various sexual conditions.”

What drives the sex researchers (some of whom are openly gay) is most often pure curiosity. They just want to know. “People whose motivations are political don’t comprehend that anyone could be interested in why,” says Ray Blanchard. And that why isn’t just a why for homosexuality but a why for sexuality, period.

“I can’t focus enough on how these are not gay genes—these are straight genes,” Bocklandt says. “If you want to find a gene that makes you see colors, you compare the genes of people who see colors with the genes of people who are color-blind. They’re not genes for color blindness. What we’re talking about here is the most basic thing, the most basic question. Why does a crocodile recognize the opposite sex and want to f**k?”

Source: http://discovermagazine.com

Alexander The Great

noreply@blogger.com (Abdinst) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 07:05:00 +0000

THE GAY LOVERS OF ALEXANDER III OF MACEDON, known as ‘THE GREAT’

Alexander the Great Note on Alexander, the movie by Oliver Stone

When Oliver Stone was thinking of doing a movie on the life of the legendary son of king Phillip II of Macedon and queen Olympias, one unexpected obstacle stood in his way: the Greek government. It didn't want one of their greatest heroes 'besmirched' by public knowledge of his male loves. As a result, the film was shot mainly in Morocco and Thailand. No scenes were filmed in Greece, as the Athens News Agency explains, because of government opposition to Stone's portrayal of the Greek hero.

Not surprisingly, these "erotic reality deniers" provided Mr. Stone with free publicity, as well as comic relief. A group of homophobic Greek lawyers even threatened to sue Warner Bros. and the director for implying Alexander the Great was bisexual. The lawyers, trampling their own intellectual heritage underfoot, sent a letter to the studio demanding they state in the title credits that the movie was a fictional tale.

Drama surrounding the "gayness" of Alexander has a precedent. A couple of years previously, a mob of hundreds of Macedonian Greeks stormed an archeological symposium after a speaker presented a paper on the homosexuality of Alexander. Police were then called in to evacuate . . . the scholarly participants!

Not that Hollywood was any better. The film, which Stone had been trying to get on the screen for 15 years, received only lukewarm applause. It later came out that the studio pressured Stone to cut all the scenes of Alexander's affair with that dangerous brat Bagoas. No wonder the critics found the leftovers boring!

The Life of Alexander the Great

Alexander the Great commanded his first battles while only sixteen years old and went on to conquer the entire known world, leading his troops from the mountains of northern Greece all the way to the mountains of northern India. He subdued every opponent in his path, from the Greek city states to the kingdoms of North Africa, Asia Minor and Persia. His relentlessness in battle, often tempered by his magnanimity to the vanquished, was legendary. But so was his devotion to his friends and companions, and the love which he shared almost exclusively with his male peers starting in tender childhood.

This was no chance event. Born in August of 356 BCE, under the sign of the lion, he was the quintessential product of a patriarchal warrior culture, the very paragon of a male dominated world ruled by masculine values and a masculine aesthetic. His tutor from the age of thirteen on was the philosopher Aristotle, who commented on the excesses as well as the values of pederasty, and who had a number of male beloveds of his own. Alexander embodied those ethics for the rest of his brief but volcanic life. However, he stretched the accepted boundaries of ancient male love. Not only did he have love affairs with boys, but above them all, was his love for a man his own age, his childhood friend Hephaestion. This relationship resembled modern gay love and became legendary for it's passion.

What may seem normal to some of us today, the gay love of one man for another, in ancient days was frowned upon as a threat to masculinity and the structure of society. Love between grown men and teenage boys was the only proper way for two males to love each other. The men vied to be chosen by the boys as their lovers and the boys, ideally, were educated and led into adulthood by their lovers. Their love was an erotic love, and it often had its sexual aspects, but, as many of the philosophical and oratory texts show, men were expected to refrain from penetrating their beloved boys. Though in Alexander's world of palaces, power, and passion, the pedagogic ideal was honored more in the breach than the observance, yet boys remained the focus of men's affection. Philip II himself, Alexander's own father, pursued young lovers tirelessly all his life. His very death came at the hand of a vengeful former beloved, Pausanias, who had been spurned by the king for a prettier boy. One trifled with Greek boys at one's peril!

Unlike Philip's affairs, the love between Alexander and Hephaestion never waned. Alexander saw their love as emulating that heroic love between Achilles and Patroclus, another ancient couple that modern gay couples can look to as an example of devotion. Crossing into Asia on their way to Persia, the two halted their campaign in Illium by the ruins of Troy. There Alexander sacrificed and offered garlands at the shrine of Achilles, while Hephaestion did the same at the shrine of Patroclus. Following the ancient custom, Alexander ran naked around the hero's tomb, proclaiming his admiration for Achilles, "fortunate in life to have so faithful a friend, and in death to have so famous a poet."

Male love did not blind the Greeks, nor Alexander, to the lure of beautiful women: he married Roxane, a Persian princess, daughter of Oxyartes of Bactria, and fathered a child with her. Later, as the Roman/Greek historian Arrian reports, Alexander, while in Persia at Susa "…held wedding ceremonies for his Companions; he also took (another) wife himself - Barsine, Darius' eldest daughter, and, according to Aristobulus, another as well, namely Parysatis, the youngest daughter of Ochlus…"(VII.5)

His love of women, however, may have been an acquired taste. The Roman historian Curtius reports that "He scorned (feminine) sensual pleasures to such an extent that Olympias, his mother, was anxious lest he be unable to beget offspring." To whet his appetite for the fair sex, King Philip and Olympias had Kallixeina, a Thessalian hetaira (a professional courtesan) brought in. And one of his contemporary biographers, Eumenes, claimed Alexander "was not at his ease with sex."

The other great male love of Alexander's life that we know about was the eunuch Bagoas. The two met while Alexander was on campaign against the Persian king Darius. The war had raged for some time, with Darius finally on the run, deserted by his vassals and eventually assassinated by one of his own men. His general, Nabarzenes, went to swear fealty to Alexander and to offer rich gifts, a beautiful boy among them. Curtius describes him as "... Bagoas, a eunuch exceptional in beauty and in the very flower of boyhood, with whom Darius was intimate and with whom Alexander would later be intimate," (VI.5.23) The stormy, outspoken character of the boy matched his stunning looks and the friendship and love which grew between him and the warrior king lasted the rest of their lives.

Alexander saw to it that his young beloved was well provided for. As Eumenes recounts, the king installed Bagoas in a villa outside of Babylon and required all his officers and courtesans, both Greek and Persian, to render him honors (to present him with rich gifts). They all did but one, the faithful satrap Orsines, who claimed that he had come "to honor the friends of Alexander, not his whores," and that "it was not the custom of the Persians to take males in marriage who had been turned into women for the sake of being fucked." Enraged, the young Bagoas wrought Orsines' destruction by means of endless calumnies, rousing Alexander's mind to anger until he condemned the man to death. Still not satisfied with his handiwork, Bagoas struck Orsines as he was being led off to execution. Orsines turned and drove home one final insult: "I had heard that women once reigned in Asia; this however is something new, for a eunuch to reign!" (Curtius, X.1.22)

Alexander's favor to Bagoas can also be seen in his later appointment of Bagoas as one of the trierarchs, men of substance who oversaw and funded the construction of the navy for the journey homeward. Their love affair is attested to by many historians of the time, such as Plutarch, who recounts an episode showing that the love between the two was common knowledge among the troops, and much appreciated. At a dancing contest, Bagoas had won the honors then went to sit by the side of the king, "which so pleased the Macedonians that they shouted out for him to kiss Bagoas, and never stopped clapping their hands and shouting till Alexander took him in his arms and kissed him warmly," (Plutarch, The Lives). The episode is attested by several ancient writers.

This new love in no way affected the deep devotion which bound him to Hephaestion, which was itself famous throughout Magna Graecia. The cynic philosopher Diogenes wrote to Alexander about it, berating him for his sexual enslavement (and incidentally casting a light on the type of sexual intercourse preferred by Greek men: face to face, between the thighs): "If you want to be kalos kagathos ("beautiful and good", the Greek expression for noble and ideal) throw away the rag you have on your head and come to us. But you won't be able to, for you are ruled by Hephaestion's thighs." (Diogenes of Sinope, Letters, 24) Their love was undone only by Hephaestion's death during the summer festivities at Ecbatana (in Persia) on their way home from India.

Alexander, who had borne hardship and wounds that would have felled a lesser man, was completely undone by this loss. It is said that he lay upon Hephaestion's body for a day and a night and finally had to be dragged off by his friends. For another three days he remained mute, in tears, fasting. When he rose he sheared off all his hair and ordered all the ornaments in the city broken off the walls and the manes and tails of all the horses sheared. He forbade all music in the city and ordered every town in the empire to carry out mourning rituals. Then he sent envoys to Ammon's oracle at the oasis of Siwah in Egypt to ask that divine honors be granted to his dead friend. The body of Hephaestion was embalmed and carried on to Babylon, where it was cremated on a pyre, in a funeral on which he planned to spend astronomical sums. Little did Alexander know that Babylon was to become his final stop as well. Forced to stay in the town through the hot, mosquito-ridden summer months, he took sick and died after a short illness. By our accounting the year was 323 BCE. Alexander was only 33 years old.

Yalouris Nikolaos et al., The Search for Alexander, New York Graphic Society, 1980. Plutarch The Lives The Modern Library, New York; 2001.

CITATION: If you cite this Web page, please use the following form of citation: Editorial Board, World History of Male Love, "Famous Homosexuals", The Gay Lovers of Alexander the Great, 2000