I am so much impressed at how simple it is to build web sites and how friendly the user interface of Sitecore is. My only concern about Sitecore is that it is so expensive, I couldn’t recommend it to my former employers whom I know has a tight budget. Is there any “cheaper” or “free” web CMS applications that is at least close in terms of features to what Sitecore has?

And the search begins…

Ironically, the best backup that I had was blogger. After almost a year of inactivity, my account is still active and still has all my posts (at least the ones before I started using WordPress).

So far, my experience with WordPress (WordPress 2 and WordPress.org) is it’s very good and it is very easy to use.  At least I don’t have to maintain a friend of mine’s server just to maintain my blog.

This is not an ellipsis… there’s no short way around…

I Love You.

…from me

No… Tito, Vic and Joey (the “Eat Bulaga” comedians) are not the friends that I was talking about; they are not even my friends! “Tito, Vic & Joey” are the names we assigned (Hmmm… or was it August who assigned it?), to these three young gorgeous ladies, who in their short stay with my present employer (HAS), became my friends.

Why am I writing about them? Simple, these three persons are one perfect example of why it is hard to gain a level of friendship which is the same level as the friends you gain during high school or college.

Fact is… it is hard enough to find true friends in a typical workplace. Ironically, if you are lucky enough to find some friends, chances are they will encounter a problem and leave the company, or probably find a better opportunity and eventually pursue that opportunity. That is exactly what happened to these three friends of mine. Just when we are staring to get along with each other, they encountered a problem that gave them the reason to leave the company. I was lucky enough to become their friend soon enough for them to give me some comfort from my sadness before my wife left for a long training abroad. Their beauty, Em’s moral judgement and frankness, Elaine’s kindness, friendliness and spirituality, Denise’s lovable and funny character, makes these three ladies a typical example of what I wanted my two daughters to be when they grow up. They are the little sisters that I wish I had, the friends that reminds me of my college “barkada”.

The struggle to keep these kinds of friends is what I am presented with right now. The occasional lunch outs, night outs, I’m sure will become lesser and lesser until eventually it becomes none. Inevitable as one might say, it is a fact that I have experienced over and over, moving from one company to another. The only thing that gives me comfort from all of these is that at least, even for a short period of time, I have been a part of their lives; they considered me as a friend. And for that I am grateful.

*** Tito, Vic and Joey… Elaine, Em and Denise ***

Photo of Tito, Vic and Joey with Me and August (the long hair guy), taken from Corinthian KTV at Libis during Tito, Vic and Joey’s small despedida party.

EDIT (Oct. 7 2005 8:19 PM): I removed the link going to my friend’s blog as per his request… sorry my friend! He said that his blogs are for his friend’s consumption only.

While I was planning how to execute a graceful exit on my relationship with my girlfriend, the advent of technology gave me a way to easily communicate with Jhoanna, she bought a cellular phone almost the same time I bought mine. During those times, SMS messaging is a free value added service provided by Globe Telecoms, and luckily, we were both subscribed to the service. I couldn’t recall the exact story on how she asked for my mobile number, but what I remember is that when she saw that I have a mobile phone, she asked me to give her my number (Shouldn’t I be the one who is supposed to do that?! Hehehe!) And the most exciting part of my life began when she forwarded a message to my phone. That’s how I got her number, I didn’t ask for it, but I got it, so the only thing a guy like me could do is save it! We started sending small messages, 160 characters worth of meaningful and special words. There was never a day wherein I wouldn’t get a message from her, from ordinary forwarded quotes to casual “hi” and “hellos”. Even though we don’t see each other, I would always know where she is and what she is doing. Now, based on the lesson I have learned from the part 1 of this blog, honesty doesn’t always do a good thing, so I kept everything a secret from my girlfriend. I even changed Jhoanna’s name to some other name just in case my girlfriend looks at my phone. I know, it’s bad, I admit it, and I’m guilty! But again, that was the only thing making me happy back then. Again, I’m not courting Jhoanna yet, I’m not even making any move to get her attention or anything like that. There was a time when somehow, Jhoanna’s partner got pissed off because of an instance where I sent her an SMS and it turned out that her boyfriend was the one who read my message.

And so it came, the day I had to tell my girlfriend that it is all over. By experience, every time I had to break-up with someone, it always turns out bad. This one was no exception; actually, it was the worst break-up I have ever experienced. I got mixed reactions from my friends and “barkada”, some are in favour and some are not. Some are saying “good riddance”, “it’s about time”, “Buti na lang kasi hindi kayo bagay”, and so on. As expected, most of my friends thought that it was all because of Jhoanna. I keep on insisting that it has nothing to do with her, but come to think of it, partially, it does, she made my decision much easier. Somehow, I felt assured that I can easily climb up from my downfall, even though Jhoanna is in a relationship that time. For some reason, I felt like everything that happened, happened for a reason. Eventually, everything became worst, every move I make seems to make things more complicated. My now “former” girlfriend wanted me back, but after several attempts, including saying that I got her pregnant, which I know was very common (And I actually fell for it!), she then gave up on me, and instead, she started spreading all sorts of things to discredit me. And like most break-up, the girl always seems to get the sympathy of most people, so I became the bad guy. During those times, Jhoanna and her partner are also going through rough times and eventually, they separated. You might think that I would be happy to hear about their separation, but actually, I wasn’t. I actually gave her some advice and even told her to try to work it out with the guy because it seems the guy wanted her back.

Three months passed, and the situation hasn’t changed, the only thing that changed is my feelings for Jhoanna. I knew it was going to go to this direction, in fact, everyone knew! I actually fell for her… BIG TIME! It’s like this whole episode is one big whirlpool, and I’m just a tiny boat which doesn’t have enough power to stir myself away from it. You know the phrase “I fell for her the moment I laid my eyes on her”, it is exactly what happened. Yes, I know, you’ve all heard of this excuse before. People call it denial, I was already in love with her but I just don’t want to indulge myself because of my previous relationship. But I stand firm to what I’ve said, yes, I did fell for her, but I never made a move.

And so begins another saga, the courtship. It was none like anything that I have experienced before. All the hardship, all the issues, all those friends who are against me and Jhoanna, somehow got stuck on Jhoanna’s mind. Several times I got rejected, but I know that she is only doing that to avoid more issues especially with her friends. Then there was persistence, I have gone so far, I wouldn’t let anyone, who is not even Jhoanna’s relatives, take her away from me. I wouldn’t accept the fact that I got rejected just because of what other people would say. This continued for a couple of months and then she finally decided to give me a shot, but, with one condition, that we would keep everything a secret first, until such time that all of the issues with my former girlfriend fades away. So I agreed… I enjoyed our little masquerade until such time when it was already beginning to become harder to hide our relationship. It was actually a bad plan, how can two persons, in love with each other, hide their relationship from everyone? We both realized that it was never going to work, so I decided to make a move, I chose the person closest to me and Jhoanna, and told her about our little masquerade. Jhoanna got upset; it seems that time that her fear of losing friends is heavier than staying with me so she decided to call it quits.

I was devastated, I didn’t know what to do, and I was helpless. But with my love for her, comes respect. I respected her decision; I gave her some space, some time to think things over. I told myself, “I wont call her nor text her.” This was the most depressing moment of my life. It seems that time came to a standstill… it lasted for almost a month. But do you really think that I can last a day without at least sending her an SMS? Yup, you’re right, I won’t… occasionally, I send her some quotes, nothing personal, and same with her also. There also came a time when I was alone in my room and this music started to play, “When I see you smile, I can face the world… you know that I can do anything…,” my vision became blurred, tears fell from my eyes. I couldn’t resist calling her. And so I did… “Ring…, ring…” and she answered… we talked, we cried, and we decided to meet each other so I came over her place and finally… she decided to go back in a relationship with me.

And the rest is history… a part of my life that gave meaning to my existence… a past worth remembering.

(***sob***)

Now, this blogging activity was supposed to prevent me from missing her too much. It seems I was wrong; I missed her more…

I apologize for those persons mentioned here that might get offended by this blog. I tried to shorten this blog entry and might have missed some details in the process.

It all started out during the time I was still working at Informatics, which was in 1998, I was already assigned to the SM Fairview branch when Jhoanna came in to my life. I was still in a relationship with some other girl when I met Jhoanna. Of course, being the good and honest guy that I am (***wink***), all I can do is to appreciate her beauty and charm which seems to have been stuck in my mind ever since. During those days, I was commissioned to train some new lecturers on programming and was also assigned to handle some programming class at the SM North Edsa branch where I was originally reporting for work, that is how I met Jhoanna, she sat down on one of my class so she could observe and learn anything she could about Visual Basic and how to teach it. Also during those days, I was also attending a review class in preparation for a Microsoft certification exam. Since I was formerly assigned at North Edsa, I usually drop by that branch just to chat with my former co-leagues and friends. My friends and I usually go to a movie or just hang out and chat on a restaurant and Jhoanna usually just comes along since my old friends became her friends too.

For some reason, most guys are saying that Jhoanna was hard to approach especially when you don’t know her yet. She seems to have this “Mataray ang dating” or snobbish look. But for some reason, I didn’t see her that way; in fact she was so approachable, I didn’t even had a hard time talking to her. It’s like there is this “chemistry” between us that made us very compatible. In a matter of weeks, we became close to each other, people started teasing us, saying that they are seeing something unusual whenever we are together, unusual for normal friends, but common for people who are in love with each other.

But, wait…! Did I mention that I have a girlfriend during that time? Yes I did! So again, being the good and honest guy that I am (***wink again***), I told my girlfriend about our friends teasing us and spreading this rumour that there was something going on between me and Jhoanna. And I learned something that is opposite to what most people are saying… “Being honest is a bad thing!” The moment I told my girlfriend about Jhoanna, she became furious! She started calling my friends responsible for spreading the rumours, trying find out as much information as she can. She called me a liar and told me that the “trust” (between us) was broken. She said she is still willing to be my girlfriend and continue our relationship but she could no longer trust me! What kind of a relationship is that?! To save our relationship, I made initiative of avoiding Jhoanna. I stayed away as much as I could. For me, there’s nothing wrong with what I did, is it bad to become close to another person? I didn’t even court her! I admit I was attracted to her, who wouldn’t be? Any normal straight guy would! But I didn’t go that far, I was contented by just being her friend. Even then, it seems like our current circumstances is preventing us from being friends. This situation lasted about a year. In between, Jhoanna was courted by one of her students and eventually they became partners, while on the other hand, I was struggling to stay with my girlfriend. In that span of time, my girlfriend never allowed me to communicate with Jhoanna, even a simple gesture of forwarding forwarded emails to her is a big crime for my girlfriend! Heck, sending emails to Jhoanna’s friends who are also my friends is also not allowed!!!

To make a long story short, my life became a disaster when I became close to Jhoanna. I had to make sacrifices in order to keep my relationship with my girlfriend. (To be continued…)